EPISODE BLOG #341: PHIL KEOGHAN REMEMBERS CHEESE
EIGHTH EPISODE
FRENCH POLYNESIA (FRANCE) – NEW ZEALAND – INDONESIA – VIETNAM – BOTSWANA – SWITZERLAND – GERMANY – SCOTLAND – NORTHERN IRELAND – ENGLAND – UNITED STATES
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The Podcast I Co-Host: https://rtvwarriors.podbean.com/
Meghan Camarena’s episode 8 vlog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiN2Y8h-5yI
Joey Graceffa’s episode 8 vlog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU8Zy55E60s
Previously on TAR: Seven teams continued racing through Botswana. Starting in last place, Max & Katie had a run in with the law. Bates & Anthony braved a crocodile infested Fast Forward and won the leg. Chuck & Wynona were up a creek at the Roadblock. At the Detour, Pam & Winnie struggled with Brains and Brawn setting up a memorable finish between three teams that sent the best friends home. Six teams remain; who will be eliminated next?
PREVIOUSLY ON TAR MENTIONS:
JESSICA & JOHN 4
DAVE & CONNOR 4
CHUCK & WYNONA 4
MAX & KATIE 3
BATES & ANTHONY 3
JOEY & MEGHAN 2
PAM & WINNIE 2
MATT & DANIEL 1
CAROLINE & JENNIFER 1
IDRIES & JAMIL 1
MONA & BETH 0 lol
Ah! Pam & Winnie and Chuck argue over whether that animal on screen is a hippo or a Pumba.
Phil re-introduces Botswana as a land-locked nation in southern Africa. Seventy percent of the country is covered by the Kalahari Desert. Located on the southern edge of the Okavango Delta is the Royal Tree Lodge. It’s the start of the eighth leg.
“Teams stayed here at the end of the last leg while I slept at a five star hotel.”
Bates & Anthony, who arrived first at an unspecified time, will depart first at 5:55am.
Bates & Anthony have the most normal sleep cycle of any TAR team in quite a while.
They read they must fly over five thousand miles to Zurich, Switzerland. Once they’ve touched down at the airport, they must find the conductor who will give them their next clue.
Switzerland is one of the most expensive countries in the world for tourists, but is also one of the most visited countries in TAR history for some reason.
CONDUCTOR: Here we go!
“Please put everyone on one flight.”
Bates & Anthony say it’s great to be on top (in more ways than one given how tight they are with Caroline & Jennifer, I’m sure).
Anthony says it is great to be teammates for once because they rarely played on the same team in ice hockey. Bates doesn’t want this to stop.
“And when we did, Bates would always Bertuzzi me in the back of the head.”
Bates & Anthony hire a cab. They have to go to Time Travel Travel Agency. . .or Time Travel Agency.
ANTHONY: Do you know Time Travel?
DRIVER: Yeah, I know.
“Yeah, I know. . .I just need to find a long straightaway and gun this to 88 miles per hour. I’ll check Accuweather on my phone to see where the nearest lightning storm is at. Don’t worry, this car has 1.21 gigawatts of power.”
Man, this cab driver really knows Time Travel.
This method doesn’t actually work. It’s just Hollywood bullshit. Tempting the laws of providence, my ass.
Bates doesn’t want this run to stop because he is having so much fun.
Bates & Anthony are already at the Time Travel travel agency.
“Can we time travel to a time when Logan actually finishes TAR 22 ah hahahaha.”
Oh, shut the fuck up, Statler and Waldorf. Sit your asses back down and enjoy the show. Who the hell let you have those on the balcony anyway? Maybe next episode it’ll go to somebody who actually appreciates this shit instead of you two pessimistic fucks!
The travel agent issues tickets with a 2:00pm arrival time in Zurich. Bates & Anthony ask if there’s anything earlier.
AGENT: Nobody will be getting on an earlier flight.
Something tells me there aren’t a lot of flights out of Maun. Not even Charla & Mirna can sneak their way onto an earlier flight.
Bates makes the agent shake on her word.
“If I find out you didn’t live up to your word, I’ll personally send Todd Bertuzzi to Botswana.”
BATES: It looks like all of the teams are on the same flight.
We cut to later on during the day. Mona & Beth will depart second at–
FUCK YOU, EDITORS! I WANT DEPARTURE TIMES! FUCK!!!!!!!!
I was genuinely curious about how much of a time advantage Bates & Anthony gained by completing the Fast Forward first. Now we’ll be stuck doing guesswork by sending DMs to alumni. Fantastic.
We don’t get anyone else’s departure times. Everyone is boarding the plane.
Bates & Anthony and Max & Katie are the first two teams with confessionals because of it. Showing departure times every episode is a great way to get to know each team a little bit more at the start of each episode. By skipping departure times, it gives editors another excuse to tilt the airtime in favour of their favourites.
Chuck & Wynona say they are finally having fun.
CHUCK: I think we’re starting to get the hang of this.
Last leg was Chuck & Wynona’s best performance all season. Yes, their best finish was third in leg six, but was only due to them going from dead last to third in a matter of minutes because of the mass Detour switch right before the pit stop.
Chuck says they aren’t on each other’s throats as much anymore. We get treated to a black and white montage from the Vietnam leg and the previous Botswana leg. For some reason they air Wynona’s “I’ve got a wide load” quote again because they all have the sense of humour of a five year old.
High five! Very nice!
We get to see the Google Earth flight path.
I am sure there was at least a layover in Johanesburg on the way to Zurich.
PRESUMPTION: Maun -> Gaborone -> Jo’Burg -> Zurich
NOTE: Reds Kevin informed me that RFF figured out they flew from Maun to Zurich via Jo’Burg and London. I was so close!
We jump ahead over a full day to Zurich airport.
Welcome to FLUGHAFEN! I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of meat dish.
Everyone uses Mona & Beth’s roller derby techniques to push those Swiss fuckers out of their goddamn way! Throw dem bows!
“Move Swiss! Get out the way!”
Everyone crowds the poor conductor for their next clue. Somehow Caroline & Jennifer get their clue first.
Caroline & Jennifer read they must go to Grindelwald.
What?! I thought Dumbledore dueled his ass with the Elder Wand and won. Do you see Caroline & Jennifer or Joey & Meghan being successful in defeating one of the most legendary wizards of all time? TAR 22 has really jumped the Fonz.
Nah, just kidding. Grindelwald is the name of a real town in Switzerland. It is perhaps the smallest town to be visited on TAR in three separate seasons (TAR 3 Leg 8, TAR 22 Leg 8, and TAR 31 Leg 7).
Bertram Van Munster and Elise Doganieri clearly have an obsession with this town. I can’t think of any other small towns in TAR history that can’t be reached by airport which TAR has used in three separate seasons as a location.
Look at that. Grindelwald has a population of less than 4, 000. Even TAR Canada hasn’t used a town that small in three separate seasons–and that’s a franchise which has had 60+ legs within their own borders.
TAR US has the whole world to play with.
Using the same city for a full leg three separate times is like the Five Timers Club for guest hosts on Saturday Night Live.
If anyone says “TAR only has time to visit the larger cities due to the tight filming schedule,” feel free to point to the fact that later seasons have multiple visits to freakin’ Grindelwald.
The inaugural visit to Grindelwald was of course home to perhaps the leg with the most equalizers in TAR history and culminated with that absurd uphill hour long run to the mat with one of my favourite Teri and Ian exchanges ever.
TERI: My pants are falling down!
IAN: This is more important than your pants falling down.
TERI: You think so?
IAN: Yeah, I think so. You’re not modest.
❤ Teri & Ian.
Once in Grindelwald, teams have to wait at Kirche Grindlewald for an Alpine shepherd with their next clue.
The Grindelwald visit in TAR 3 was during the summer of 2002. This visit is during the winter of 2012. At least this Grindelwald visit is in completely different terrain.
Bates & Anthony open the clue in 2nd; Joey & Meghan are 3rd; Mona & Beth are 4th; Max & Katie are 5th; Chuck & Wynona, who are finally getting the hang of this, are in last place.
Everyone is getting tickets for the train. Everyone is given tickets for the same 3:40pm train which eventually gets into Grindelwald at 6:39pm.
Much like the TAR 3 Grindelwald visit, we’ve already hit two equalizers.
Everyone is chilling across the three train rides to Grindelwald (exchanges in Bern and Interlaken).
Bates & Anthony and Caroline & Jennifer sit across from each other.
“Do you think I could give myself a paper cut with this brochure?”
CAROLINE: You guys have really been patient with me.
JENNIFER: Yeah, you’re really getting to know us as people.
ANTHONY: This is weird for us.
Anthony looks like he is ready to bone both of them right this very second.
BATES: Did you guys ever have a boyfriend who wore a fanny pack?
ANTHONY: Or had no teeth?
JENNIFER: We’ve really got some winners here.
Hey, as long as the hockey league has a good dental plan, Anthony can still keep ol’ Chomper for when he needs to open a can of beer.
JENNIFER: Toothless. Fanny Pack.
A quick search on Instagram indicates Caroline nor Jennifer ever dated Bates and/or Anthony.
If this were the game show Baggage, Bates and Anthony would never make it out of the Dealbreaker Round.
Bates says they’ve been joking with Caroline & Jennifer about being boyfriend and girlfriend.
BATES: So this is our two week anniversary.
ANTHONY: We haven’t gotten anywhere yet. Not even a kiss.
“When your box of condoms is still sealed in your backpack and you have to spend your Race money on more hand lotion.”
ANTHONY: Maybe the romantic mountains will help.
BATES: Nothing like cheese to warm things up.
(BATES & ANTHONY make a cartoonish sound simulating an erection.)
Relying on cheese to warm things up for the Swiss are like beets are to everyone else.
Teams jump off the first exchange in Bern. They switch to the one going to Interlaken.
The woman on the right gives the camera a ‘WTF’ glance.
Joey & Meghan and Mona & Beth are really slow to switching to the correct train. The other four teams are on board.
The four teams inside are very surprised #TheOutsiders aren’t on.
“So long, suckas.”
BETH: Oh. You guys just love that.
You know you’re in a bad spot when The Duke’s Granddaughter taunts you on The Amazing Race.
If TAR history has taught us anything, any team who taunts you waving goodbye because you missed a turn or a bus or a train is coming after you hard.
Max & Katie’s villain role really picks up with this scene on the train. Everyone celebrates #TheOutsiders not making the train.
Max proceeds to do a Flip Off Dance.
Everyone high fives each other. It’s very clearly a 4 vs. 2 game right now.
BETH: Did you see their faces? They were so mean!
Did you see Max’s fingers? The fingers were meaner than the faces, Beth.
The Outsiders know the other four teams are loving that they missed the train. The four teams are still celebrating.
MAX: At least it’s their ulcer and not ours.
“If you guys can call the EPs and say this would be the perfect time for a W-Turn, that’d be great.”
Mona & Beth and Joey & Meghan find two young Swiss women armed with a smartphone for how to get to Grindelwald.
JOEY: It feels like everyone else versus us.
Because it is, man.
It really does feel like WCW vs. The Outsiders right now.
Although I don’t think Hulk Hogan will be rescuing them by turning heel.
Meanwhile, the top four teams are all in Grindelwald happy about snow.
I need to go through the exact statistics, but I swear the majority of legs with snow we see on TAR occur in Switzerland alone. There’s a reason why after TAR 3 Production opts to only use Switzerland as a location if it’s late fall or winter for many many visits.
The four teams find the church.
Teams note the shepherd will come by at 8:55am. Wow. That’s the third equalizer of the leg thus far.
The four teams are very pissed off. Max suggests to rip the sign off. Katie is annoyed the one hour lead is gone. They all look for a hotel for the night.
Max doesn’t know who to flip off right now. It might be the shepherd.
We cut to the next morning. Because it’s a leg in the Swiss alps, it’s a montage of people commenting on the scenery.
Of course this will reach an extreme in TAR 28 where we have #TheWorstLeg ever. I’m not kidding. The Switzerland leg in TAR 28 is my least favourite TAR episode of all time.
Wynona hopes she doesn’t have to climb up the alps. Shortly thereafter Chuck gets frustrated with her walking pace.
CHUCK: Can I tow you, please?
WYNONA: Chuck, just run ahead if you think that’s necessary.
“Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway cause it’s sterile and I like the taste.”
Chuck grabs Wynona’s bag.
WYNONA: If you start today, I’m sitting down.
When Jee-an and I walk, I often take her bags out of my own impatience for her walking speed. If I still look annoyed, Jee-an just tells me to walk/run ahead of her.
“How else can I help you, your majesty?”
Wynona eyes up the beer truck to her left. I’m sure it goes great with vodka and 7Up.
All six teams are waiting for the shepherd.
“We’ll try not flipping off the shepherd and take his lunch money.”
“They see me rollin’
They hatin’. . .”
Joey is very excited about the shepherd. He wants one of those sleds.
Chuck & Wynona are officially in first place by about 0.2 seconds. Holy shit.
Teams read they must travel by train to Kleine Scheidegg at the base of the Eiger where they will pick up a Swiss rescue companion outside of the “historic” Bellevue Hotel.
Their Swiss rescue companion is one of these dogs.
“I was supposed to go to Obedience Class, but then I got high.
I was supposed to play fetch, but then I got high.
I slept all day at the foot of the bed because I got high.
I wasn’t in the mood to screw the pooch, and I know why.
Why, man?
Because I got high.
Because I got high
Because I got high.”
I wonder what Afroman is up to these days.
I should note the “historic” Bellevue Hotel isn’t as noteworthy as I thought.
It doesn’t even have its own Wikipedia page.
Caroline & Jennifer link arms because Caroline is afraid Jenn will fall because she is from Beverly Hills.
I am impressed how comfortable the camera and sound operators are with running on snow and ice.
There is a lot of running.
*plunk*
Meghan eats it hard.
Max of course can’t help but taunt Meghan after she fell.
Chuck keeps yelling at Wynona to hustle. Wynona isn’t having it.
CHUCK: The Girls can’t be that much faster than you. . .if we miss this, I’m going to be pissed. C’monnnn.
WYNONA: Chuck, I don’t know what you want me to do.
Start injecting steroids.
Chuck abandons Wynona at the previous intersection like a parent pretending to leave the supermarket without their child who can’t stop touching the candy bars at the check-out lane.
Everyone else is at the train station. How far apart do trains depart?
Oh boy. If Chuck & Wynona miss this train, they’ll be behind by an hour. That would be the real nail in the–
Oh. They’ve got 45 minutes to spare. Nevermind.
WYNONA: Screw him.
CHUCK: Sit your ass on the floor.
Be careful, Chuck. Some people think “the gloves are coming off” as an expression when people are pissed, but for Wynona she is literally taking her gloves off when she is pissed.
That’s just straight up comedic gold that you can’t script.
Wynona cries as she is annoyed Chuck was mad because she finished twelve seconds after everyone else.
WYNONA: He’s just disappointed. Constantly. Twelve seconds. I counted it. I’m just a disappointment to him and I hate it.
So, erm. . .uh. . .you two are getting along better this leg, right?
Teams board their fourth equalizer of the leg thus far. Jesus Christ.
Also, there are a lot of advertisements on the exterior of this train. I can identify Samsung and Skype.
Chuck invites Wynona to get on the train because they might have the heat on in the train. I wish the conductor would suddenly blast the air conditioner to freak out all of the teams.
CHUCK: I get frustrated when we fall so far back on the running parts of the legs. I just want to egg her going and maybe get a bit more hustle out of her.
WYNONA: Do ya think after 24 years he would realize that isn’t egging me on, that’s like pissing me off?
Maybe after 34 years he’ll realize it.
All six teams board the same train.
Wynona is figuring out if she has enough time to flip off the camera while Chuck isn’t looking.
We get treated to a scenery montage of the Swiss alps.
Hey, that’s where those Swiss Toblerone chocolates got the inspiration for their shape!
Nah, just kidding. Toblerone’s shape comes from dancers in Paris despite the fact Toblerone was made in Switzerland.
The More You Know!
We get exterior shots of the train with the Christmas music you hear in the commercial for a Hallmark special.
Mona & Beth are fascinated by the train climbing up the pretty alps. Their Colorado origins are mentioned here. They say Colorado has mountains but it looks like a pile of shit in contrast to the Swiss Alps.
Oooooh. Aaaaaah.
I don’t mean to brag about where I live in Canada, but these are sights you can see in B.C. too.
It looks a lot less pretty if you live in a neighbourhood there and have to shovel your driveway and sidewalk daily.
Mona, Beth, Caroline, and Jennifer describe the scenery.
The train finally gets into Kleine Scheidegg.
I hear the hotel has no beer and no TV.
The six teams sprint and see the Swiss rescue dogs. Joey freaks out seeing the dogs.
MEGHAN: Beethoven.
Also known as a St. Bernard.
I don’t understand why the Swiss rescue companions have a beer keg dangling from its neck.
You know, Phil just said “Swiss rescue companion.” The companion could just be the beer. It’s “a Swiss rescue companion and a St. Bernard dog.”
PHIL: Teams must now travel by train with their new BFF to Europe’s highest railway station–Jungfraujoch. It is built 11, 000 feet above sea level. Once there, they’ll have to deliver their rescue dog to a mountain rescue guide and then search the Sphinx for their next clue.
Grant Bowler posing with a cheetah is much better.
“I outran Wynona by twelve seconds. Do I get a treat?”
This Sphinx in some ways is much more enjoyable since you don’t have to put up with being pestered by tourist scams.
Chuck gets his St. Bernard all excited. He carries Wynona’s bag for her.
Wynona counts she is exactly 1.4 seconds behind the St. Bernard.
The Swiss woman has had too many drinks as she’s trying to grab that tail without asking.
The dogs are barking a lot.
CAROLINE: Good boy or girl or whatever you are.
I. . .I don’t think the St. Bernard will be worried about its gender being misidentified, Caroline. I think you’re in the clear.
Caroline & Jennifer try to get their bitch on the train.
“I don’t want to go up to the Jungfraujoch! The air is too thin up there, and I have asthma! I forgot my puffer at home!”
“And I have arthritis in my knees. The mountain steps are too steep. Please don’t make me go.”
Caroline & Jennifer’s dog Cara is a stubborn mutt.
I presume they were responsible for that name.
Caroline and Jennifer’s Lululemon booty try their best to hoist up Cara.
“And if I get on the train now, Max is gonna flip me off. Please don’t make me go.”
Anthony jumps off the train to help Caroline & Jennifer. This dog is NOT budging.
“And my favourite TV show is on in an hour, and I forgot to set the PVR. Please don’t make me go.”
Caroline, Jennifer, and Anthony all maneuver Cara on-board. The fourth equalizer is all set.
Anthony is jealous the rescue dog has a full set of teeth. Their dog is named Rosco.
Jennifer is willing to kiss a dog, but is not willing to kiss Bates nor Anthony. I mean, the dog does have a full set of teeth and doesn’t wear a fanny pack. Bates & Anthony must be so fucking jealous right now.
There was way too much tongue on that one.
We cut to Chuck & Wynona.
CHUCK: I miss my doggy at home so it fits right in.
It should be noted the dog at the Mccall Residence is mounted on a wall.
WYNONA: He is treating the dog better than me.
I missed that scene during the Vietnam leg where Chuck grabbed Wynona by the ear.
CHUCK: The dog is gonna run faster.
WYNONA: He better enjoy sleeping with the dog tonight.
CHUCK: This harness is going around Wynona’s waist and she’s going up the hill.
Oh my god. Can you imagine Chuck following through on that? Pulling Wynona up the Swiss Alps using a harness like she is some sort of domestic farm animal. If they get eliminated, can that clip be used in their elimination montage?
Chuck has owned dogs his whole life and gives it some water on the train.
“Whatever is left in this bottle I’ll give to Wynona.”
The six teams exit at the train at the CarlJungfraujoch. Wynona feels dizzy (likely from the altitude and thinness of the air). I don’t think there are too many mountains in Alabama. Wynona doesn’t understand how the other teams are able to run.
Cara is still offering some resistance.
The five teams are held up at the exit doors. This is the fifth equalizer of the leg. Holy shit.
We get more scenic shots.
JOEY: I saw pure whiteness. It was Heaven.
This was actually a pre-race confessional of Joey describing his cocaine use in LA.
Everyone delivers their dogs. Now they must head to the Sphinx.
That’s a lot of snow.
Teams are still bunched up on the narrow path in the snow. They head back inside. How does one find their way to the Sphinx?
ROADBLOCK HINT: Who wants to enjoy the sights?
Beth, Bates, Katie, Meghan, Jennifer, and a reluctant Wynona (Chuck has already done five and Wynona has still only done three Roadblocks) all do it. The magic number is that only six Roadblocks can be done in the first eleven legs. If Chuck were to do this one, Wynona would have to do all remaining Roadblocks by default.
Phil introduces us to the Eiger. It is also referred to as the Ogre. The north face of the mountain has over six thousand feet of vertical rock and falling ice. Teams must climb out one of the observation windows and join their climbing partner–the Travelocity Roaming Gnome. It is perched thousands of feet above the valley floor. Battling the elements, they must keep their nerve as they inch their way back across the sheer rock wall. Once they’ve made it to safe ground, they’ll find their next clue on the bottom of the gnome.
“I don’t know how I got here, but I would like some help getting down now.”
If everyone gets stuck on the same train after the Roadblock, this is going down as one of the dumbest legs ever.
There is A LOT of additional info for this task. It’s one of the most dangerous tasks in a while.
All six teams get back on the train to go to the Great Eiger.
Not to be confused with the Great Tiger from Mike Tyson’s Punchout!!
BATES: I love the gnome. I can’t wait until he is by my side.
Teams are making out with dogs and hooking up with gnomes this round. Welcome to TAR 22.
Jenn plans to knock her fear of heights “straight in the head.” Beth asks how may times somebody gets to say they get to traverse the north face of the Eiger.
Harrowing movie music plays.
The Eiger awaits.
The train pulls into Eigerwand.
Of course, this is German for the “Elder Wand.”
It turns out there are two different lines for this Roadblock task. Katie, Wynona, and somebody else are in one line.
I don’t know how far behind Wynona will be after this Roadblock, but since teams must go one at a time I presume Wynona will be more than twelve seconds behind.
“So has Roman Josi ever come here?”
Jennifer takes a peek over the edge. She is surprised to see she is at least 10, 000 feet above sea level.
UPPER OBSERVATION WINDOW: KATIE-WYNONA-MEGHAN
LOWER OBSERVATION WINDOW: BATES-BETH-JENNIFER
Bates describes how when you go outside it looks like you’re going to plummet straight down.
Where’s Bates?
No kidding, Bates. It is indeed “kinda” high. What would be considered just straight up high by Bates’ Standards? Everest? K2? McKinley?
Dikembe Mutombo?
BATES: I’ve never done anything like that before, and nothing at that height. The most I do is get on a ladder to change a lightbulb. That’s about as high as I go.
The same cannot be said for Anthony.
BATES: I’m not looking down and I’m not planning on it.
Oh c’mon, Bates. Just look down once. We need at least one person to lose their shit and fall 10, 000 feet down to the base of the Swiss Alps.
Katie is first to attempt the Roadblock for the other line.
Well, that’s a technical foul. Who is working here at the Eiger?
Drew Christy?
This situation is a lot worse for Katie compared to Bates. If Bates happens to fall, he plummets just a measly 10, 000 feet. But if Katie’s harness is undone and she falls, she would drop much further at a distance of 10, 045 feet.
Bates & Anthony get all the luck on TAR.
Bates retrieves his Travelocity Roaming Gnome. For some reason a congratulatory “You did it!” music sound effect plays.
“It was my bachelor party last night. I don’t remember a single thing until I woke up this morning and found myself like this. Don’t tell my fiancee.”
Katie looks down willingly. She isn’t scared.
“I saw a discarded gum wrapper at the bottom.”
Max hopes Katie knows that when she gets back over she has to unclip and grab the Travelocity Roaming Gnome.
“I can’t remember–did I flip off that gnome yet?”
Anthony says Bates completed the Roadblock quickly. This Roadblock is more of just a ‘do this scary stunt’ rather than it be based on speed and ability. I doubt any team will be able to gain much of a time advantage here.
Bates & Anthony are confused where the clue is located. Bates thinks it is on the gnome’s bottom. Anthony looks and sees the clue.
Phil says teams must travel by train to the Grindelwald Grund Station and cross the Lutschine Bruggli Bridge and follow the sounds of the Swiss Alphorn to find their next clue.
This is the infamous Switchback to the season premiere of TAR 14 in Switzerland where it was the first audio based pit stop in the very first leg of TAR US history to feature a Deaf contestant. I don’t understand why they had multiple audio based clues in a season with a Deaf contestant either.
I wonder how many gigs this guy gets anymore.
Bates & Anthony exit the Roadblock in first place. However, the train back to Grindelwald could prove to be the SIXTH equalizer of the leg.
Beth is third onto the ledge. She hopes her kids are proud of her.
BETH: C’mon kids. Did you think your mom would be doing this?
(We cut to BETH’S KIDS back at home.)
BETH’S KIDS: Yes. Yes, we did.
Nah, just kidding. That would’ve been hilarious, though.
Bates & Anthony are told the Grindelwald train is on the opposite track.
BATES: Hopefully our buddy brings us some luck.
I think you’re confusing a gnome with a leprechaun, Bates.
Or maybe it’s half leprechaun. I can’t believe editors added in a twinkle in its eye.
Max describes this task as absolutely frightening even though he isn’t doing it.
This almost looks photoshopped.
Wynona lookes out at the landscape before her turn.
WYNONA: Look at all the clouds out there. I don’t even wanna look out.
CHUCK: I love ya. Just remember that.
WYNONA: . . .
WYNONA: You’re mean to me. I’ll remember -that.-
Wow. That is a burn, ladies and gentlemen.
CHUCK: In case things go wrong, I won’t remarry for the first month.
WYNONA: Is he a jerk!
I think Hollywood execs have been more invited for a kiss on the cheek than Chuck was in that moment.
Katie unhooks the gnome and claims him.
MAX: We had to keep that Travelocity Roaming Gnome with us. He was cool. He didn’t have too much to say. You know, good guy.
“Good guy. He is a lot less noisy to be around than Joey & Meghan, and his ego isn’t overly inflated like John. I doubt I’ll U-Turn him or flip him off anytime soon.”
Katie tells Wynona it isn’t very scary and that it’s really easy.
Granted the width of that ledge will make Wynona uneasy.
BETH: I’ve never done anything like this in my life unless you count the rock wall at the gym.
Yeah, it’s just like the rock wall at the gym. If that rock wall were planted at the top of about fifteen CN Towers.
Beth says she isn’t afraid of heights, but didn’t want to look down because she was too afraid of what she might see.
Bates & Anthony, Max & Katie, and Mona & Beth are waiting at the train station.
KATIE: If they do it fast, we could all be on that train.
The number of equalizers on this leg has turned into a “What were they thinking?!” situation.
Jennifer and Wynona step out. Jennifer didn’t have time to be scared. She was scrambling to finish quickly.
CAROLINE: Let’s grab our little friend and get the heck out of here.
Please don’t encourage Jennifer to violate the Travelocity Roaming Gnome.
Bates, Beth, and Jennifer were all on the Lower Deck and are all finished before the second person is done on the upper deck. I can’t help but feel the upper deck has a tougher route.
Jennifer will be so excited to see a sixth equalizer.
Joey & Meghan observe Wynona is stuck. Wynona is muttering to herself she can’t do this.
JENNIFER: Oh my god! We’re leaving!
“Oh my god! This isn’t an equalizer after all!”
Yes, indeed. Chuck & Wynona and Joey & Meghan are left behind. Our equalizer count stops at five.
WYNONA: I’m losing strength!
We have a literal cliffhanger going into commercial break. Will Wynona plummet over ten thousand feet to her death? Don’t change that channel if you want to find out!
We resume and. . .
Ah!!!! Somebody plummets thousands of feet to their death! WYNONAAAAA!
Oh wait. That’s from the movie Cliffhanger with Sylvester Stallone. My mistake!
WYNONA: Katie lied. This is not easy.
At least you can count on the Travelocity Roaming Gnome never lying to you!
Chuck & Wynona look for the next train. It’s a thirty minute wait.
CHUCK: I wish you could’ve moved!
WYNONA (sighs): OH! Disappointed again!
“What else is new?! Gas prices are high, inflation is on the rise, Russia is at war with Ukraine, the drummer for the Foo Fighters is dead, and Chuck is disappointed in me. Whoop-de-fucking-doo!”
Meghan starts the Roadblock but everyone wants to see the argument continue.
CHUCK: Katie did that in freakin’ two minutes.
WYNONA: I don’t care. It wasn’t easy. I wish for once you’d just say ‘good job.’
CHUCK (flat tone): Good job. I’m glad you made it.
WYNONA (sarcastic): Psssh. Way to sound sincere.
CHUCK (looks up confused): Huh? I was talking to the gnome.
Nah, just kidding. That should’ve been the punchline, though.
CHUCK: Good job. I’m glad you made it. The kids need a mother.
“I’m going to kill him and take up taxidermy myself. He can hang on the wall next to the mounted buck head.”
Meghan unclips a gnome. She says it’s super strength.
So that happened.
“Riiiiiiiicola! Ricola!”
I wonder if he knows the Ricola Guys.
Oddly enough, this is what the hillside in the neighbourhood behind my parents’ house looks like. Oh, to be Canadian.
All four teams receive the next clue. Bates reads they must join the local workforce.
PHIL: A fifty pound wheel of cheese was part of the most memorable Amazing Race challenge ever.
I remember this episode of TAR 22 airing at the time and going “huh?!?!?! Most memorable challenge ever?!?!”
For those of you who haven’t read other seasons of this blog, TAR 14 is my least favourite season of all time. I won’t supply the full rant here, but it is by far my least favourite out of the first 29 seasons of TAR worldwide I had seen up to that point (TAR 1-23 US, TARC 1, TAR Asia 1-4, TAR Latino America 1).
To this day TAR 14 is currently my third-to-least favourite season of TAR I have ever seen globally. In 2022, that would include 48 seasons (TAR US 1-33, TARC 1-5, TAR Asia 1-5, TAR Australia 1-4, TAR Latino America 1). Only TAR 24 and TAR Canada 5 I would rank below it. I’d hear an argument for TAR 31 too but I think the winners of TAR 31 kept it out of the cellar for me.
I experience PTSD by seeing footage of Luke, Mel, and whoever that woman is on the right. Kris is her name, I think.
Phil says teams must use a traditional Grindelwald sled to transport four wheels of cheese for a total of two hundred pounds from an outdoor storage shed to a barn at the bottom of the hill. Once they’ve moved the cheese, the Cheesemeister will hand them their next clue.
I don’t know why Production is obsessed with TAR 14 to this day. I don’t know why almost all acknowledged TAR history starts with TAR 14 and the only major exceptions they’ll make are the head shaving Roadblock from TAR 7 and Colin’s “My ox is broken!” quote.
Let’s revisit Phil’s earlier quote:
PHIL: A fifty pound wheel of cheese was part of the most memorable Amazing Race challenge ever.
Much like the Japanese game show Switchbacks, TAR US has this strange tendency of picking completely random tasks and latching onto them several times in the future and telling us they’re memorable.
Oh, just wait until the season finale. We’re going to get an even more random Switchback than the Cheese Hill.
Going into the Cheese Hill, I can think of several tasks talked about far more than it:
a) The watermelon catapult. When I was in high school, friends of mine who had never seen an episode of TAR were watching the task of Claire getting hit in the face by a watermelon repeatedly in our school library. That went viral.
b) Colin’s “My ox is broken!” task became the title of the only official TAR book ever published for nearly twenty years.
c) Any Survivor fan who crossed over to TAR can’t help but bring up the meat eating Roadblock where Rob “tricked” the other teams into taking the four hour penalty.
d) The infamous hay bales task which became the first ever Switchback in TAR history. It’s my least favourite task of all time, but TAR likes celebrating this task for some reason.
e) The final memory task of TAR 12 is always discussed as the best challenge TAR US has ever done to this day.
f) The original “Swing you fat bastard, swing!” task from the series premiere in Batoka Gorge.
g) The Cheese Hill isn’t even the most memorable task from TAR 14. Everyone always posts a picture of Phil Keoghan in his underwear during the underwear race in Siberia.
h) The Japanese game show tasks which have already been used multiple times by TAR 22. We’ll see it again in TAR 23. Again, I don’t know why.
i) The head shaving Roadblock in TAR 5, 7, and 20 in India.
j) The waterslide challenge where Mika quit in TAR 15.
I have just listed TEN tasks which I know for certain are more memorable than the freakin’ Cheese Hill going into TAR 22. I have about ten more in mind, but people will be more open to debate on that and it’ll deviate from my main points.
People today may argue the Cheese Hill might be more memorable than one or two of the seven tasks I listed, but that’s because the Cheese Hill has been used multiple times while some of the other tasks on my list have been used just once.
However, even if you put up that argument it doesn’t change the fact Phil said “THIS IS THE MOST MEMORABLE CHALLENGE IN AMAZING RACE HISTORY.”
I can say with 150 to 200 percent certainty it is NOT THE MOST MEMORABLE CHALLENGE IN AMAZING RACE HISTORY.
You want to know why else it can’t be even remotely close to being the most memorable challenge in Amazing Race history?
Because Amanda & Chris are in it! The least memorable team in history can’t be apart of the most memorable task.
Again, I will never understand TAR’s obsession with my absolute least favourite season nor why we had five teams brought back from it. Did the Italian Mob get involved and intimidate CBS? I don’t know.
“This is the most memorable sled in TAR history.”
“This is the most memorable Switchback on-screen graphic in TAR history.”
“This is the most memorable barn in TAR history.”
“This is the most memorable Cheesemeister in TAR history.”
CAROLINE: I think this is a Switchback.
Caroline -thinks- it is a Switchback? Yeah, the most memorable task in TAR history is one that teams aren’t even sure if it was done before or not.
Katie remembers this task being as hard as. . .well, as hard as cheese.
The Cheese Hill sounds like a stage from Super Mario World.
We got a Cheese Bridge in Super Mario World. So why not a Cheese Hill?
We get a group of dudes to hang out at the base of the Cheese Hill.
Bates & Anthony say it was a Cheese Mountain rather than a Cheese Hill. The snow made their shoes wet and cold. There’s a rope to help teams up the hill because of how steep it is. Wynona is not going to have a fun time here.
If Bates & Anthony are huffing and puffing by carrying these sleds up the hill, how the hell is Wynona going to do this?
lol good luck, Wynona. Katie can’t even stay on her feet. We are treated to a montage of Katie repeatedly falling on her ass.
Because Katie is in front of both Mona & Beth and Caroline & Jennifer, and the fact there is only one rope to hang onto, everyone has no choice but to give Katie the best advice possible to get up the mountain–er, I mean hill. It’s in everyone’s best interests to help her out.
Max says the footwear is making it really tough to get a proper grip on the snow.
“Beth, why did I bring the gnome with us up the hill?”
“I don’t know, Mona.”
That’s right. Two sleds, a gnome, and a rope everyone needs to hang onto to get up a super steep hill absolutely covered in snow.
I know this challenge in TAR 14 is allegedly the most memorable according to Phil Keoghan, but for those of you who don’t remember it, there wasn’t any snow nor gnomes involved.
The task doesn’t even need to involve cheese. The task could just be “try and get up this hill.”
Katie falls backwards which triggers Max and Mona to fall down too.
Hilarious.
Mona & Beth tell her to wrap the rope around her arm, but there isn’t any slack.
I have a question: Who the hell are the couple at the bottom of the hill? Is their house at the top of this hill or something?
Bates & Anthony are already at the shed. They each put two wheels of cheese on the two sleds. Their strategy is to use the momentum of the cheese to push them down the hill.
BATES: Just hope the cheese doesn’t run you over.
This needs to be in the next Winter Olympics.
Mona will not be recruiting Katie for Roller Derby anytime soon.
The three teams keep tripping and stumbling up the hill.
Meanwhile, Joey & Meghan and Chuck & Wynona board the train. Meghan emphasizes Wynona took a long time on the Roadblock. I wouldn’t be surprised if Production thought it was a foregone conclusion this would’ve been the sixth equalizer, but didn’t anticipate Wynona taking that long.
Unless there’s another equalizer at a nearby train station, Bates & Anthony are going to smoke everybody to the pit stop for the third leg in a row.
The three teams are together at the top.
BETH: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
Everyone copies Bates & Anthony’s technique as it definitely proved to be successful.
Zoooooooom!
Katie hits a bump and ends up knocked on her back.
“If you get buried in snow, do NOT ask Danny & Oswald to help get you out!”
Max hits a snag too.
Caroline crashes into Jennifer.
We were -this- close to having them turn into a puff of cartoonish fight cloud rolling down the hill and then have Max & Katie get caught in the fight cloud
Bates & Anthony complete the Switchback.
ANTHONY: Can we get some cheese too?
Who dafuq does Anthony think he is?
Steve Urkel? You got any cheeeese?
Bates & Anthony read they must make their way to the next pit stop. Phil says teams must make their way to the Bodmi Snowboard & Ski School which is located beneath the majestic Eiger. It is renowned for its gentle slopes and family-friendly environment. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.
I believe this is the first and only ski school to serve as a pit stop on TAR.
That’s a sweet goatee.
Bates & Anthony hustle.
Oddly enough, we see a St. Bernard rescue dog in the background. It’s probably there for when Wynona shows up.
The “Be Less Than Twenty Feet Apart From Your Partner At All Times” rule is tough to enforce here.
We get a montage of everyone sliding.
Jennifer tried hanging onto the cheese like a surfboard like she is Bethany Hamilton.
Caroline & Jennifer say they lost their cheese every five steps. Jennifer credits Caroline for helping reset the cheese on the sled.
CAROLINE: Jenn was my damsel today.
More like “daaaaamnsel” if you ask Bates & Anthony.
CAROLINE: My cheese is outta control.
Caroline almost lost a tooth after getting whacked in the face by a sled. She could’ve matched Anthony’s dental work.
Bates & Anthony are in first place as they hire a cab. Anthony assumes he is in first.
Max hoists the cheese.
Most people bring cheese and wine, but Mona & Beth bring cheese and gnomes.
Max & Katie receive their clue in second place. Max and Beth nearly collide outside.
“For the love of cheese, get out of my way, Max.”
We get to see the pit stop clue.
MAX: Let’s go before I puke.
That’d certainly make this episode have a higher rating.
Mona & Beth are extremely exhausted. They read the clue.
Mona & Beth ask Max & Katie if they have seen any cabs. They haven’t (and are actually telling the truth despite being #TheOutsiders).
Mona is either having troubles breathing or is doing the Pledge of Allegiance to the Swiss cheese.
Joey & Meghan are fifth to the Cheese Hill. I think they were able to outrun Wynona by more than twelve seconds. Chuck asks Wynona to hurry.
“I counted it, Chuck. We’re twenty-six seconds behind.”
Mona & Beth and Max & Katie run by Joey & Meghan and Chuck & Wynona. They warn both teams it’s a hard task.
KATIE: It’s hard.
JOEY: It’s hard?
KATIE: It’s really hard, and I’m not even lying.
I like how the default setting for their relationship is for Katie to be lying to them. Katie has to specify she isn’t lying to them this time.
Max sees Chuck & Wynona.
MAX: Good luck. It’s hard.
Chuck & Wynona are given directions by Max & Katie where to find the sleds.
Mona & Beth and Max & Katie have cabs.
CHUCK: Did you have to carry sleds up this hill?
MAX: Yes, it’s hard.
CHUCK: Did you have to carry Wynona up this hill?
MONA: That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
“We’d pop out three more babies apiece before going up that Cheese Hill again.”
“Are you getting in with your camera or not?”
Max & Katie reflect on the task.
KATIE: That was so hard.
MAX: IT PUSHED ME TO MY LIMITS!
OK, brother.
Caroline & Jennifer complete the task in fourth place. They also warn Chuck & Wynona “it’s hard; it’s really hard.”
“I have to carry this wagon up the Cheese Hill, and I don’t get to use the rope.”
I bet all four teams who have run by Wynona are thinking how she will cope with this Switchback.
Bates & Anthony run to the mat. Since they’re the first team, they are responsible for creating footholds for all of the other teams.
“Everyone else can repay us with cheese during the pit stop.”
All three accordion players look depressed as fuck.
ANTHONY: It’s like music to my ears.
Heh.
“Welcome to Grindelwald. . .why is the Ricola guy on the alphorn happier than we are?”
PHIL: Bates & Anthony. . .you’re making it look easy.
BATES: It’s definitely not [especially when you fuckers throw in six equalizers at us so we barely win the leg].
PHIL: You are team number one once again.
FIRST PLACE: BATES & ANTHONY
Phil informs them they have won a trip to Bora Bora courtesy of Travelocity.
“Oh, great. A place we’ve already been to.”
“Thanks, Phil.”
They’ll have five nights with the gnome. Massaaaages and spaaaas. They’ll have breakfast on the beach because Bora Bora is nothing but beaches. Where the hell else can you have breakfast?
Bates & Anthony complete the first hat trick since Paul & Steve in TAR Australia 2.
ANTHONY: We’ve got the hat trick over the last three legs here. Three legs in a row.
This is the only time outside of TAR Canada where a team references three consecutive leg wins as a hat trick.
BATES: We’re gonna need some massages and breakfasts after this.
“Will you be my masseuse, Phil?”
Anthony kisses the Travelocity Roaming Gnome with a lot less tongue than Caroline & Jennifer did with their St. Bernard, thankfully.
Joey & Meghan start climbing the hill.
CHUCK: Pick it up. I’ll push your butt. Don’t trip yourself.
This is going to be an experience.
Joey & Meghan take it slow but don’t seem to be stumbling too much.
Meghan uses the “Eighty-Five Year Old Grandma Walking” technique.
CHUCK: Go! Use your arm strength.
WYNONA: I have none.
Chuck is carrying two sleds and the gnome. He is doing anything he can to make this easier for Wynona.
Let’s see Wynona’s arm strength.
This is hilarious to watch.
WYNONA: Going up the hill I was literally crawling on my knees and grabbing the rope. My hands were cold, my feet were getting wet, and I just froze.
Whoa, she’s actually getting up the hill.
Chuck said earlier he’d try to push up on her butt.
By the way, I never thought lyrics from 50 Cent’s Candy Shop lyrics of “You gonna back that thang up or should I push up on it?” would come into play on a TAR Switchback, but yet here we are.
Chuck is frustrated because he is sliding on his own.
I can’t believe someone was able to utter the sentence “I can’t do both sleds and your ass” with a straight face.
Meghan spits out the biggest spitwad in TAR history. Was she trying to see if it would turn into an icicle in mid-air?
I remember the jokes I made about this clip ten years ago.
Oh, and Chuck immediately loses his grip and falls halfway down.
Is. . .is he gonna come back up for more?
Since Joey & Meghan didn’t get to see Bates & Anthony’s technique, they’re coming up with their own unorthodox methods.
Meghan nearly runs over the cheese. Their momentum stops.
Wynona thinks she can’t do it. Chuck begs Wynona to kick her feet into the side or use her knee as a base.
WYNONA: I can’t. I’m flying!
CHUCK: I don’t know what to do!!!
Chuck is pushing on it way harder than Fitty ever did at a candy shop.
Wynona has an idea.
WYNONA: Can you go up there and pull me up?
Chuck agrees but makes her wrap the rope around her hands so she doesn’t fall all the way back down. If Wynona falls to the bottom, I think it’s safe to say they take the penalty.
I don’t think they have snow in Alabama.
Meghan booty scoots her way down the Cheese Hill.
Elsewhere, Mona & Beth have hit the mat.
They’re about to play a game of Fill in the Blank.
PHIL: You are team number. . .
PHIL: . . .
MONA: Two???
BETH: Two? Maybe three???
PHIL: TWO!
SECOND PLACE: MONA & BETH
I wonder if Phil forgot what place they were in and needed Mona & Beth to remind him.
We cut to a herd of animals crossing the road in front of Max & Katie’s cab.
“Oh, look! It’s a herd of rhinos!”
Oh, so close ladies.
MAX: Perfect time for a cow crossing. Are you serious?
We cut back to One Cheese Hill.
Meghan has a huge lead on Joey.
WYNONA: I am so tired. This was awful.
Joey gets bonked in the head by a sled.
Chuck & Wynona are at the top.
CHUCK: Catch your breath and get some brains on this hill.
Wynona is clearly giving this round everything she has.
Max & Katie slide onto the mat.
PHIL: Whoa!
Katie fights to regain her balance.
THIRD PLACE: MAX & KATIE
After struggling immensely in Botswana, Max & Katie are on the podium.
I think it’s the same dance they did at their wedding. This one just has more accordions involved.
Chuck yells at Wynona to slide down the hill. Joey & Meghan are already at the bottom.
Chuck is yankoviching on whatever he can to get Wynona down the hill.
Chuck vetoes her idea to unintentionally break the rules and roll them cheese rolls down the hill.
Joey & Meghan stack the cheese in the shed. Meghan is visibly struggling with the weight of the cheese.
The Olympic theme song plays as Caroline & Jennifer hit the mat.
PHIL: Look at you guys! You’re happy!
CAROLINE: Yay!!!!
Boing! Boing! Boing!
Caroline.
FOURTH PLACE: CAROLINE & JENNIFER
Fourth place is secured along with their gnome.
Joey & Meghan receive their clue in fifth place.
Not before Joey strains his back from the cheese lifting.
Chuck & Wynona are on top and start rolling the cheese down the hill.
The St. Bernard is having a nap in the background.
In the words of the 69 Boyz, let me see your cheese roll.
Chuck & Wynona both abandon the sleds and roll the cheese.
Wynona also booty scoots with the cheese.
Chuck found his calling as a professional cheese tosser.
Joey & Meghan ask directions from a man and–that dog has a puffy tail!
The man tells them it is far and guides them to where cabs should be.
We cut to Chuck & Wynona at the bottom of the hill. Their four wheels of cheese and their gnome are on the sled now.
Ugh. That St. Bernard is such a camera whore.
Meghan complains her lungs are freezing up.
Chuck carries the cheese up to Wynona who is waiting in the shed.
Chuck & Wynona have returned to familiar territory as they receive their clue in last place.
Joey & Meghan can’t see any cabs. Meghan promises Joey she is trying her hardest to keep up as he is frustrated.
While Joey & Meghan are walking, Chuck & Wynona stumble into a cab. Holy crap. They’re going to survive another leg.
Joey & Meghan are still walking. Chuck & Wynona are in the cab.
Wynona steps on the mat twelve seconds after Chuck.
PHIL: You are the fifth team to arrive. . .
“Yay! We survived!”
“Shit, you mean I have to do another leg?
Wynona does not seem happy to still be in it.
PHIL: However. . .
“Huh? However? What? Did we miss a ninth train that we needed to ride this leg?”
PHIL: When you were at Cheese Hill. . .
WYNONA: Yeah?
PHIL: The clue stated you must properly transport your cheese. You did not do that. I understand you were rolling the cheese wheels down the hill. You must use proper methods to transport your cheese. That’s why you were given the sleds.
We get a black and white flashback to them rolling the cheese just two minutes earlier.
Phil assesses them a 30 minute penalty over cheese. Chuck seems really cheesed about it.
If Ed The Sock still did The Fromage Awards on MuchMusic, Chuck & Wynona misreading the clue and getting a penalty would’ve been a contender.
“We are dairying on the inside.”
We see a bunch of landscape shots and Joey & Meghan walking and asking for more directions. We cut back to Chuck ranting at the pit stop.
CHUCK: We’ve never been matched up with this. She’s used to being Housemom and I’m used to getting out there and runnin’ and doing things. I try to motivate her and get her going but it’s been physically draining and grueling on her.
“Why are you telling me this? Are you quitting?”
Joey & Meghan see the pit stop. Joey urges her to hustle. She starts crying.
Joey tells her it’s okay.
Wynona has been mentally counting the number of seconds that have passed since she stepped on the mat. My guess is the count isn’t too favourable.
“Keep Chuck’s wife’s name out of your fucking mouth, Logan.”
Geez, Will Smith. It was just a joke about how Wynona counted how many seconds she was behind Chuck when running earlier in the episode. Relax, man.
Phil informs Joey & Meghan they are the last team to arrive. It’s tough to be serious while everyone is crying because they are carrying those ridiculous gnomes in their arms.
MEGHAN: We’re in this because of me because I wasn’t quick enough. . .it was my fault.
JOEY: It was a sad moment coming in last but I’ve had a blast.
“I could’ve done so many more episode recaps on my YouTube channel if I was still in the race.”
“It’s okay. Just do more React videos.”
Chuck & Wynona know what’s coming.
Phil informs Joey & Meghan about Chuck & Wynona’s penalty. He doesn’t build up any suspense to it. He outright tells Joey & Meghan they are still in the race.
“Please don’t scream too loud.”
FIFTH PLACE: JOEY & MEGHAN
Look at that contrast in reactions.
JOEY: This has been the best time of my life and I don’t want it to end now. So I’m glad we’re still in it.
MEGHAN: Yeah. What he said.
Phil breaks the news officially to Chuck & Wynona.
PHIL: Chuck’s Mullet and Wynona, you are officially the last team to arrive.
LAST PLACE: CHUCK & WYNONA
Phil eliminates them from the race. This leg should’ve been a NEL given the absurd number of equalizers.
PHIL: Tough way to go out.
“I’m going to miss you Mullet and you Wynona on this race. It was real pleasure to have both of you here.”
Wynona talks about how she went past what she thought she could. She never stopped (except stopping for that thirty minute penalty on the mat). Chuck is proud of her and says the race didn’t tear them apart. He still loves her as much as Phil loves his mullet.
“I’ll tickle you with my mullet if it’ll cheer you up.”
Chuck says they’ve got a lot of life and history behind them.
CHUCK: It’s something we wouldn’t have had money to do on our own.
They’re both grateful for it.
I’ve been to 43 countries, and the idea of traveling up to the Swiss Alps is something even I don’t have money to do on my own.
“How much further away do they have to be before Joey and I can celebrate on the mat, Phil?”
They actually had to film this B-roll footage multiple times because Wynona kept stumbling and falling into the snow.
*
Well, this was definitely the worst leg of the season. It also has major repercussions for the strategy for the rest of the race.
The way the TAReddit handles spoilers has come a long way.
NOTE #1: Chuck & Wynona learned that the pit stop was three miles away, and Chuck figured Joey & Meghan may have overestimated their own abilities and opted to run. I’m guessing this is based on the fact Joey & Meghan ran a similar distance in Bali instead of finding another cab.
P.S. Meghan mentions this in her episode 8 recap, but she has a tendency to fall repeatedly on air too. Not only does Meghan excessively run on The Amazing Race, but she can’t help but fall repeatedly along the race course!
NOTE #2: Chuck & Wynona stood on the mat for about fifteen to twenty minutes before they saw Joey & Meghan. It is closer than the edit made it look.
NEXT TIME ON TAR MENTIONS:
DAVE & CONNOR 3
CHUCK & WYNONA 2
JESSICA & JOHN 1
CAROLINE & JENNIFER 1
CONFESSIONAL COUNT
CHUCK/WYNONA 8/9
BATES/ANTHONY 9/9
MONA/BETH 3/6
MAX/KATIE 7/6
JOEY/MEGHAN 5/4
CAROLINE/JENNIFER 4/7
Rank the Legs
1) Windwhistle, New Zealand -> Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia
It was funny to see teams experience culture shock in Bali given ninety percent of the population are expats, digital nomads, and young tourists. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been spoiled by Bora Bora and New Zealand for three rounds.
There was another awesome flight scramble this leg. Teams even improved upon their flight during a layover. Classic TAR right there.
Seeing Jessica & John and Bates & Anthony battling for last for most of the leg was a great change of pace after three rounds. Chuck & Wynona are on the verge of being dead last once again but barely survive as one of the bigger underdogs in a while.
Pam & Winnie getting featured as the leading team was a great opportunity to see more of them. It’s funny they and everyone else ultimately lost this leg to a guy on crutches who couldn’t do the Detour nor the Roadblock. Connor shows off his TAR prowess and defeats Winnie in a battle of wits.
I am disappointed the Roadblock and pit stop were at the same location, and was also disappointed the Surfing Capital of the World goes the route of “find a picture of something you encountered” rather than any actual surfing.
The Detour was culturally relevant to Bali. It was difficult enough for a team to swap Detours out of frustration. Both tasks involved women putting heavy things on their head.
We also got an extra culturally relevant task that Jessica & John did that wasn’t even part of the show.
And of course, everything I said above is overshadowed by Jessica & John being the only team in TAR history to not use their Express Pass. They achieved this in the most bizarre fashion that left every viewer baffled, and scratching their head as to what the hell they just watched.
All of this culminated with Phil staring at the camera in the final two seconds of the episode, and utter an “oy vey” to the viewers at home showing he was as confused as the rest of us.
To this day the “oy vey” moment is still referenced.
It was great to revisit this episode eight years to see if it stood the test of time.
It certainly has. It’s in the running for the longest blog I have ever done.
P.S. If you ever wanted to see Workaholics do an episode based on The Amazing Race, John’s journey is exactly how it would play out. John is Anders. He goes from being stuck as a telemarketer. He uses his brains and hard work to get out of his shitty position. He achieves his goals and has power over other people, and it gets to his head he starts to piss everyone off. Then the overconfidence and pride leads to him crashing and burning within just a week.
2) Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia -> Hanoi, Vietnam
This was a roller coaster of an episode. It has a lot of great elements that Production never intended to have happen. It stirs up controversy, a fan favourite team quits thus rescuing an underdog team, and a W-Turn which heats up the rivalry between two factions.
Pam & Winnie and Chuck & Wynona both delivered some great content here. Pam & Winnie burned so many teams here, and you could make an argument she is the most aggressive team within the alliance of Pam & Winnie, Max & Katie, Bates & Anthony, and Caroline & Jennifer. Wynona uses the camera really when frustrated with Chuck.
The Roadblock, controversy aside, was a decent task. I think another layer could’ve been added to the Roadblock to create a larger gap between teams. However, it was entertaining and showed how close Joey & Meghan and Mona & Beth really are. Joey & Meghan likely lost the chance to overtake Pam & Winnie because of it.
The Detour was fine. Using live pieces to create a Chinese Chess board makes for amusing interactions with locals. Especially when Caroline & Jennifer have to figure it out on their own. The pho task proved to be a big obstacle for teams as there was a big language barrier. Do you take the basket of chickens? Do you trust the local who speaks English to obtain the correct weight for you? Do you know how to cook pho? Chuck & Wynona felt the stress of the task.
The final kick at the end where viewers likely forgot Dave & Connor were medically removed from the race therefore saving Chuck & Wynona from certain elimination for the third round in a row is an amusing ending.
3) Motu Piti A’au, Bora Bora, French Polynesia -> Windwhistle, New Zealand
This leg did its best to balance the melodrama of Dave & Connor but also the absurd comedy of Jessica & John and the other teams. It is arguably the most focus put on one team while the other eight teams are in the background. Especially Mona & Beth who get absolutely shut down from having any meaningful content other than being adopted by Jessica & John.
One of the most underrated comedic scenes ever, Jessica & John and Dave & Connor think they are sneaky with the Express Pass handoff but it was in plain sight of Bates & Anthony who were -right there-. This triggered a lot of alliances. On one side, Jessica & John, Joey & Meghan, and Mona & Beth aligned against Bates & Anthony.
Bates & Anthony countered by rounding up Caroline & Jennifer and later Max & Katie.
As for Chuck & Wynona, Dave & Connor, and Pam & Winnie? They weren’t recruited. Pam & Winnie love their solo path, Dave’s injury is assumed to be terminal within the context of the race, and Chuck & Wynona aren’t seen as valuable allies.
It was great to see scrambles for flights. I love a good flight scramble. It’s my favourite part of an era gone by.
I also like a good self-drive leg. That’s the great part about legs in first world countries that aren’t densely populated. Production feels safe enough providing teams with vehicles.
This was also a really long leg. I miss the long filming schedules. It allowed for all of the dynamics between teams to evolve.
The Detour had a fun driving task and. . .fishing. Luckily only two teams tried fishing. It didn’t make for the most riveting television. Thank goodness we had Chuck & Wynona doing that task to make it entertaining.
There was a lack of explanation as to why teams shuffled getting back from the Detour, but Dave’s injury occupied a lot of airtime.
The Shemozzle Roadblock was a genuinely fun task to balance the dark comedic nature of Dave’s injury. John was doing John things, Winnie was doing Winnie things, and Anthony nearly did a Lyoto Machida-esque kick to Jennifer’s face in the manure pool.
Also, there were dogs showcased this episode. I like dogs.
4) Makgadikgadi Pans National Park, Botswana -> Maun, Botswana
It is unusual that the transit point of the previous leg serves as the location for the current leg (except in TAR Canada where they use Pearson Airport in Toronto about five or six times per season). By today’s standards, they would have just had the previous leg in Maun and then this leg would’ve been in Makgadikgadi Pans. Either they’d have to be in and out of Maun no matter what or there was some sort of scheduling conflict where they needed to use Makgadikgadi Pans in the previous round.
On paper this leg should’ve been really lame. Drive from the pit start to the route marker. Once there, deliver a couple of goats. Then ride all the way to the Detour to either memorize ten cutouts or guide two donkeys. Then run a couple hundred metres to the pit stop. If you’re Max & Katie, throw in a quick dance.
Thankfully, Max & Katie and Caroline & Jennifer both got pulled over speeding and had an extra route marker in the form of a ticket payment at the Maun police station. It was like an unplanned Speed Bump. Seeing Caroline & Jennifer be forced to ask a stranger to exchange cash for them was a high risk venture that saved them in the race.
Max & Katie were humiliated even worse than they were the last leg by being beaten by Joey & Meghan fair and square. If it weren’t for Pam & Winnie’s blunder, this would’ve gone down as one of the most nail-biting finishes in any episode of TAR. It’s a funny nail-biter when donkeys start fighting each other. However, Max & Katie were left leaving the mat wondering why the hell they are shitting the bed so much in Botswana.
Bates & Anthony had another easy leg. They show up to the Fast Forward task and ace it in one try and coast to the pit stop. Given no one really felt threatened by the outsiders Mona & Beth, Chuck & Wynona, or Joey & Meghan, I am sure Bates & Anthony headed into the pit stop wondering if all bets were off.
Pam & Winnie were at the same location as the pit stop in second place. All they had to do was move some donkeys or spot the ten animal cutouts that Chuck & Wynona did on their first try. Pam & Winnie gave up on the first challenge after twenty minutes, and the backup option failed them miserably. Their inability to spot an ostrich eliminated them from the race. It proved to be a larger setback than a speeding ticket.
Oh, and we found out Joey & Meghan are awful at self-navigation. I think even Michael & Moe would’ve beat them in TAR 33.
The Speed Bump seemed like a pointless albeit fun task. They could’ve just integrated that when a team shows up before the Roadblock so everyone could participate. The Roadblock was amusing as teams fought with each other while trying to keep goats under control. There was also the fear at both the Roadblock and Fast Forward of falling into the water and being eaten alive by crocodiles like it was a spin-off to Jaws.
Overall, the cast delivered more than Production did. I still can’t believe only two locations were planned for this episode. It’s too linear even by contemporary TAR US standards.
P.S. This marks the final leg filmed in Africa until TAR 25’s Morocco visit. Apparently we needed more legs in already visited European countries.
5) Los Angeles, California, USA (yet again) -> Motu Piti A’au, Bora Bora, French Polynesia, France
This was one of the best season premieres for TAR in a while. Perhaps since TAR 17 or TAR 12.
We get the extremely rare South Pacific visit to kick off the season. Although Bora Bora is a ridiculously small area to host the first leg, Production found three things for them to do to make it a proper leg. Skydiving out of a helicopter, digging up a clue amongst hundreds of sandcastles under the brutal sun, and an outrigger canoe race that had some amusing visuals.
There wasn’t really any navigational issues or cultural barriers here as this is one of those rare legs to take place entirely within a resort island. Using this location for two legs was definitely excessive.
We had self-driving to sign up for flights which was great. We got to see teams interact much more than we usually do in premieres at this time. Everyone was utilized properly, particularly the absurdity of John of Jessica & John. It’s interesting to reflect on how popular Dave & Connor were after the premiere, but how often they bring down the mood of a very fun atmosphere. I think editors could’ve given Dave & Connor more fun footage.
The ending for this episode is what everyone remembers. Having three teams agree to give up on a task to roll the dice on a last second sprint to the pit stop was very memorable. The team you expect to survive is the one who goes home and it’s not even close. The heavily underestimated Caroline & Jennifer make it through, antisocial Max & Katie break through after being the ones who propose the plan, and other underdogs highlighted this episode such as Mona & Beth and Chuck & Wynona also make it through.
If this were an earlier season, Max & Katie and Caroline & Jennifer would’ve definitely gone home as the next two teams due to a lack of equalizers. However, they played the TAR structure that we’ve come to know by twenty-two seasons.
The Double Express Pass twist was very interesting at the time. It really only needed to be used for this season, and this was the correct season for the twist to be used. I remember celebrating when Jessica & John got the Double Express Pass because I thought John was absurd before the season even began and made the Workaholics connection instantaneously. You could tell the minimal power the twist offers went to his head. Idries & Jamil and the rest of The First Five offer a convenient way to make the twist uneventful, but Jessica & John are contemplating how to botch it the second they hit the mat. It really sets up the first third of the season quite well as everyone speculates if Jessica & John are going to honour the deal and give it to Dave & Connor.
Overall, a very entertaining premiere and insight to what TAR looks like if an entire episode took place on a resort.
6) Hanoi, Vietnam -> Makgadikgadi Pans National Park, Botswana
Yay! Departure times are shown!
Nay! A very specific repeated location!
Nah, I won’t do that for the whole write-up. Although we won’t see any more legs on the African continent until TAR 25 after this Botswana visit, it is annoying that most of this leg took place during TAR’s only other Botswana visit–Makgadikgadi Pans. I understand a nature reserve in southern Africa, but it would have been great to see an alternative location in Botswana.
There was an unaired task with a dancer. I wish we could’ve seen it instead of an extended look into Guinea fowl snares, unsuccessfully rubbing sticks together, and scorpions.
It was a very linear leg once teams landed from Maun, Botswana. No one got lost despite it being a self-drive leg. The only time the leaderboard truly shifted was when teams caught on the Fire task was too hard and switched over to Fowl.
We got insight into how strong Bates & Anthony are as they were the only team to make fire and cruised to an easy victory this leg.
The idea of having the initial task be “Fly to the city of Maun in a country you must figure out” was a creative idea, but with terrible execution. Everyone was allowed to use smartphones, laptops, or just keep supplying random guesses until they were allowed to book on the same equalizer flight as everyone else.
The lion sighting was a cool moment and everyone’s varied reactions to the scorpion. Also, Pam & Winnie’s confessional about Chuck was hilarious.
7) Motu Toopua, Bora Bora, French Polynesia, France -> Motu Tapu, Bora Bora, French Polynesia, France
From pit start to pit stop was a grand total of 6.5 kilometres. This leg is as linear as it gets on TAR.
Wait for water taxis. Take a water taxi to a chapel without any navigation. Grab your gear. Return to water taxi which you don’t have to navigate to the Detour location. Unless you’re gonna drown, everyone can finish either Detour task within minutes of each other. Ride jet skis on a small map to a nearby island where you’ll be so close to the other teams nearly everyone can follow each other there. Use stilts to kick a coconut 35 yards. Run about one hundred feet to the pit stop.
I bet you everyone finished this leg before noon except Idries & Jamil and -maybe- Pam & Winnie.
The big storyline was if Max & Katie or Caroline & Jennifer were going to win the showdown over taking the Roadblock penalty in the previous episode. However, it didn’t matter as neither team finished in the bottom two. Instead Pam & Winnie struggled a little navigating on the jet ski and at the Roadblock, and Idries & Jamil made a colossal error “diving” for pearls.
Because of how linear and uneventful the leg itself was, a lot of airtime was put on Jessica & John’s refusal to give up the Express Pass this round to Dave & Connor. Dave & Connor are commented on by nearly every team for being so strong. This built up to the highlight of the episode (and really the highlight for TAR over the next three seasons) where Dave ruptures his achilles tendon.
Pam & Winnie refusing to give up and finishing in ninth place is a footnote. Max & Katie and Caroline & Jennifer overcoming their 105 minute deficit is a footnote too. And I bet by episode three everyone has forgotten about Idries & Jamil because of Dave’s achilles injury.
To quote the review of Pokemon Sapphire & Ruby, this indeed did have too much water for the second leg in a row.
Granted I do see -why- Production wanted two legs in Bora Bora because they doubted they would ever have the budget to reach the South Pacific ever again. Fast forward eight seasons later and this is still the only South Pacific visit.
So I’m fine with having two legs in French Polynesia if this is we’re all ever gonna get in our lifetimes.
8) Maun, Botswana -> Grindelwald, Switzerland
TAR is usually pretty good with putting NELs on their most equalizer heavy legs since the start of the series. Especially when it’s a leg that happens during the mid-to-late chunk of the section when NELs are more frequent.
However, Production made this an elimination leg. That seemed like an oversight on Production’s part. This leg truly came down to Wynona holding up Meghan at the Roadblock and then the decision to not take a taxi to the pit stop. Bates & Anthony won the leg because they could run up the hill faster than three other teams.
As I’ve said before, TAR tends to exploit Switzerland for scenery porn but doesn’t really know what else to do with it. I’m still scratching my head why we needed multiple Switchbacks to the alphorn AND the cheese hill. The whole design of this leg is extremely bizarre. Only the infamous train ride during the Switzerland leg in TAR 28 tops it (which happens to be a nominee for the worst leg in TAR history).
The St. Bernards were pretty neat.
This is one of those rare cases in TAR US history where a penalty eliminated a team from the race. In fact, this is the final time in TAR history where a team got eliminated strictly due to a penalty for something they did during a task or elsewhere on the race course.
Furthermore, it is going to be all the way until the TAR 29 premiere where a team doesn’t arrive at the pit stop in last place, but a penalty at the mat eliminates them from the race. Meanwhile, this happens in TAR Canada almost every other week.
I would love to see the additional info the Cheese Hill task. Chuck & Wynona did -use- the sleds. We clearly saw them use the sleds at the top of the hill and at the very bottom. How clear was the clue stating that they weren’t allowed to roll it down the hill? Phil’s own words state they got penalized for not using the sleds “properly.” What constitutes proper usage of the sleds? That seems rather subjective.
I am sure it went unaired, but if I was them I would’ve contended that point on the mat. It seems like a lousy way to go out of the race. I would’ve seen how teams would’ve handled Chuck & Wynona still being in the race heading into leg nine. Max & Katie, Caroline & Jennifer, and Bates & Anthony have been in a tight alliance but seem to get along well with Mona & Beth rather than Joey & Meghan. Chuck & Wynona are viewed as the weakest team in the whole race. Would the trio have just U-Turned Mona & Beth and Chuck & Wynona? Or would everyone shift their thinking to “man, I’d love to have Chuck & Wynona in the final leg with us.” It could’ve very well turned into a fight for everyone trying to get to the Final Three with both Caroline & Jennifer and Chuck & Wynona.
By Chuck & Wynona being eliminated, the divide between The Outsiders and the Anti-Jessica & John Brigade is made much clearer in a 3 vs. 2 divide. It’s quite similar to the divide we saw just one season earlier in TAR 21.
Because very little happened in this leg other than in the closing five minutes, it opened the door to a lot of fun character scenes. Max & Katie step up the villain role a bit more, we actually know there’s a team named Mona & Beth, the relationship between Bates & Anthony and Caroline & Jennifer is made clearer, and we see Joey & Meghan now being branded as underdogs. We also got a lot of interesting Chuck & Wynona content.
Overall, this was definitely the worst episode of the season. Sorry Phil, but a cheese hill isn’t anywhere near the most memorable challenge of all time. I can’t even recall the last time somebody referenced Chuck & Wynona’s penalty occurred -because- of the cheese hill. In fact, I’d take it one step further and say very few people remember this penalty happening at the pit stop. I bet people remembered Chuck & Wynona were eliminated for being a weaker team rather than a #ReadYourClue moment.
Rank the Teams
1) Pam Chien & Winnie Sung
I forgot how much hilarious content Pam & Winnie had during TAR 22. Because editors were focused on hyping up Jessica & John’s Express Pass blunder and Dave & Connor’s inevitable return invite for an all-star season that I am sure Production already had on the table, Pam & Winnie’s edit was limited early on.
However, starting leg five things really picked up for Pam & Winnie. There were so many vicious confessionals. In fact, their final confessional went after every other eliminated team. We rarely see competent all-female teams, and not only that but competent minority all-female teams who are entertaining.
I recall lots of fans online assuming Pam & Winnie were a lock for the next all-star season. When TAR 24 was announced as a returnee season, Pam & Winnie had the following traits on their side:
a) All-female team;
b) Strong;
c) Minority;
d) Shit-stirrers;
e) Competed less than 24 months prior to filming
f) Made it over halfway in the season
g) Won a leg
Somehow they get snubbed. Not only that but only two all-female teams are brought back for TAR 24 including. . .Caroline & Jennifer?! over Pam & Winnie?! If you’re going to cast Caroline & Jennifer, you’ve got to cast Pam & Winnie at the very least. We’ll talk about it more when we reach TAR 24, but I’ve always felt bad for Caroline & Jennifer’s TAR 24 run because Pam & Winnie’s snub meant fans were predisposed to disliking Caroline & Jennifer before the season even began airing through no fault of their own. It is Reason #748 why I don’t bother tuning into returnee seasons of reality TV shows anymore with very rare exceptions.
Over the years I’ve seen fans here and there who over-compensate for endorsing all-female teams for returnee seasons. I’ll see somebody say Liz & Marie from TAR 19 should be brought back or Maria & Tiffany from TAR 15 or Nary & Jamie from TAR 20.
I remember how much outrage there was when people saw the cast release from TAR 24 and saw Caroline & Jennifer took the all-female slot over Pam & Winnie. It also must be an awkward experience for Caroline & Jennifer. It’s not their fault Production picked them instead of Pam & Winnie. I’ve never understood fans who get angry at a specific team who accept a second shot to play. What the hell are Caroline & Jennifer? Decline a shot at a million bucks and eternal glory because a bunch of fans online are unhappy with a shitty casting job?
If TAR 24 was cast using CBS’ BIPOC 50 percent quota implemented in 2021, I am sure Pam & Winnie get asked within 0.1 seconds.
Pam & Winnie brought so much to the table. I wish we could have reduced Dave & Connor’s airtime by about thirty percent and awarded it to Pam & Winnie. I think their elimination in leg seven would’ve been much more shocking.
Pam & Winnie’s circumstances surrounding their elimination would fit the criteria of major ‘What If?’ teams that are given a second chance.
They were on cruise control as much as Bates & Anthony. They were in a dominant alliance that was coasting to the finale. They always did well at every task and could navigate efficiently. They were cunning. There were teams statistically much weaker than them in leg seven who I’m convinced they would have likely destroyed in subsequent rounds of play. Pam & Winnie stood a damn good shot of making it to the Final Three as Wynona will continue to face pressure in Roadblocks, Mona & Beth and Joey & Meghan are U-Turn magnets, Max & Katie psych themselves out when things aren’t going perfectly, and Caroline & Jennifer very very rarely reach the podium on any given leg.
Pam & Winnie join that big list of teams of “Why the hell weren’t they asked back in a returnee season?” How Caroline & Jennifer, Joey & Meghan, Jessica & John, and Dave & Connor all return instead of Pam & Winnie from this season is beyond me.
2) Jessica Hoel & John Erck
Oy. Vey.
Excluding terrible twists implemented by Production, the early parts of a season after the premiere tend to not be terribly memorable.
Jessica & John single-handedly prevented that this season. Even if Dave hadn’t ruptured his achilles, Jessica & John’s ridiculous handling of the Double Express Pass would’ve been enough for editors to get by.
The “oy vey” moment went from an underrated comedic moment to overrated to now an appropriately rated comedic moment.
If any of the other ten teams receive the Double Express Pass, this season plays out in a completely different manner. Dave & Connor likely can’t even complete the New Zealand leg as they wouldn’t have an Express Pass to bypass the Detour, Bates & Anthony wouldn’t be rounding up troops and convince them there is a common enemy they can all rally against, and we wouldn’t have Joey & Meghan and Mona & Beth the constant subjects of U-Turn schemes.
It has a massive ripple effect on the season. I assume this is why Production will try the Double Express Pass twist for the next two seasons. Sadly, lightning wouldn’t strike twice because everyone paid attention to how poorly Jessica & John handled the situation.
The best thing about Jessica & John’s storyline is I picked up on John’s unintentional ridiculousness pre-season. I just could not get the Anders image out of my head whenever he spoke. Episode one went exactly as I expected and his behaviour kept cracking me up. However, what nobody saw coming was somebody being so oblivious to the strategy of TAR that he would alienate most of the cast AND be the only person in TAR US history to go home without using the Express Pass.
The best part is he -knew- he was fighting for last place. The previous leg was a NEL. You know Wynona nor Dave have started doing Roadblocks yet which means their days are numbered especially Dave’s. You know this leg can’t be a NEL, but there are at least two more NELs coming down the road. This is the best leg to use an Express Pass regardless of position.
And he STILL doesn’t use it. Even if he wasn’t thinking long term about the structure of the race, he was in an immediate fight for dead last and still refused to use it.
I’ve read the exit interviews and to this day nobody can figure out why exactly John didn’t use it, and I have a feeling John doesn’t know why either. I think he was feeling invincible after three top three finishes to start out the season. He didn’t expect to drop from second down to ninth and go home.
I know I’ve left Jessica out a lot of this writeup (much like how the editors did) but that’s because she was the “straight man” in this duo. In a buddy comedy, you need one person who is completely outrageous and one person who is normal so the contrast is that much funnier. Jessica played her role. It’s just tough to analyze Jessica beyond “I wish she was more aggressive with using the Express Pass or talking John out of bad decisions, but she opted to be more supportive of her teammate and thought that was the better approach.”
It’s tough to write too much about that.
Production decides to bring back Jessica & John just two seasons later because of this “Oy vey” blunder alone and due to Production’s obsession with TAR 22 heading into TAR 24.
Unfortunately John was much more grounded during TAR 24 and resulted in Jessica & John having one of the most unmemorable runs I have seen returnees go through on any reality show. I have never ever seen people discuss Jessica & John’s run on TAR 24 nearly eight years later. Jessica & John only work as a team if they are the strongest team in the cast with power. Power clearly gets to John’s head. If you don’t have that to play with in the editing room, you’re ultimately going to give them the Jeremy & Sandy treatment.
I understand why Jessica & John were brought back, but it’s just the 1000th lesson of why returnee seasons rarely work on reality shows. Their errors were really clear to them and they knew to remedy them ahead of their second appearance. If you’re going to bring back a contestant, you need a contestant who has a bit more of an internal struggle or faces uncertainty with what they want to do during their second stint.
Overall, thanks for being on your A+ entertainment game, Jessica & John. Kristen & Darren will be calling you shortly.
3) Chuck McCall & Wynona McCall
Chuck & Wynona were funnier than I remembered. Every season we get that team from a rural environment that are out of their element. Based on Phil’s comments, you can’t help but feel they were cast strictly because of Chuck’s hair.
Chuck & Wynona had an interesting path. Because of Wynona’s leg injury prior to filming, Chuck did as many Roadblocks as possible which is why their count got so damn lopsided. It’s also why Wynona ended up with not-so-ideal tasks during the season as she tried to even up the count. This is before TAR 24’s rule of “Let Connor Do However Many Roadblocks He Feels Like” came into effect.
They got saved many times during the season:
a) During the third leg they got saved by a NEL which didn’t have a Speed Bump on the following leg;
b) Jessica & John refused to use their Express Pass at the Roadblock;
c) Dave & Connor withdrew from the race in leg five;
d) The Detour Mishap in leg six which flipped the standings.
Yep. Four saves in the span of five legs where they were guaranteed elimination. It’s funny that their elimination was due to bad luck because Production enforced what “proper” use of sleds happened to be. I guess it had to balance out.
Chuck & Wynona were able to get five additional legs than they should’ve. I think we ought to consider that a victory.
Wynona had some fun and witty confessionals. You knew she was something special when she announced her diet in leg one largely consists of vodka and 7Up. If Chuck wasn’t a passive person, we would’ve seen some VERY explosive content between this couple.
The biggest mystery for me is what the other four teams would’ve done if Chuck & Wynona hadn’t gotten eliminated in leg eight. Would they have been targeted at the final Double U-Turn location in leg ten? Would every team be eager to help them? How many more Roadblocks and running around could Wynona do before she crumbled? Would she have toughed it out all the way to the finish line if necessary? It would’ve been interesting to see play out.
Chuck & Wynona definitely made the short list in the minds of viewers for being possibly invited back for TAR 24. I’m a bit surprised they weren’t as they were clear Production favourites. I know Chuck & Wynona would’ve been eager for a second shot. Oh well. They weren’t the only ones to get potentially fucked over by TAR 24’s casting choices.
Wynona’s trademark glares at the camera shall forever be burned into my memory.
4) Idries Abdur-Rahman & Jamil Abdur-Rahman
For anyone who isn’t aware of how Casting works for TAR, they create the route and the tasks first -before- casting teams. Why cast a team who can’t swim when you know the first two legs are about ninety percent swimming and the other ten percent involves the beach?
If they were on any of the other thirty-one seasons in the TAR catalogue, Idries & Jamil would’ve breezed through the first two rounds of play. Why Casting didn’t put them on seasons 23 or 27 is beyond me.
I only learned about the whole “African-Americans can’t swim” stereotype because of watching Survivor and TAR. Gervase in the very first season of Survivor was forced to paddle because he couldn’t swim. Sean and Vecepia were blamed for Maraamu’s losses in water challenges. Ted was classified as a “non-swimmer” by Helen. Osten had to be rescued from drowning during Pearl Islands. Phillip Sheppard told the story about being trapped in the water and had to forfeit the immunity challenge of the same episode he was eliminated. In Cagayan, Bryce and Cliff Robinson were the only two people who sat out of a swimming challenge. LaTasha had to be rescued from drowning in Second Chances. Kisha and Jen -really- struggled at The Water Cube during TAR 14.
Jaison Robinson in Survivor: Samoa was the biggest exception during the first decade or so of CBS shows.
My parents and I have had conversations about this while I was growing up. I’m curious why CBS put themselves in a situation to highlight this stereotype once more on TV where Idries & Jamil were left to be somewhat humiliated in each of the first two episodes on TV.
Luckily Idries & Jamil had some fun moments too. They got to be on that first flight to troll Pam & Winnie, and came up with the “Whichever team finishes second from our group automatically receives the second Express Pass.”
I’m glad their reputation won’t forever be boiled down to “that team who couldn’t swim.”
I will say Idries & Jamil -did- have an out here. All they had to do was to pick the Take a Trunk Detour. They likely don’t finish this round a minimum of two hours slower than all other teams. They didn’t even see Pam, Max, or Caroline at the Roadblock! I can guarantee you Idries & Jamil both had to be medically cleared after they needed to be rescued from drowning before they could switch Detour options.
Also, poor Idries having to spend over three hours digging sandcastles. Idries’ only two tasks on TAR involved sunstroke and drowning.
Idries & Jamil were really unlucky with the cards they were dealt.
5) Dave O’ Leary & Connor O’ Leary
Achillesachillesachillesachillesachilles.
OK. I got that out of my system.
People reading this are going to fall into one of two camps:
a) I am ranking Dave & Connor too low;
b) I am ranking Dave & Connor too high.
It’s tough to talk about Dave & Connor’s run in TAR 22 without referencing TAR 24. After TAR 24, Dave & Connor became one of the top five most hated teams of all time with a small minority who really really likes them (I’d say it’s about 85 percent really really hated them after TAR 24, 13 percent who really really like them, and about 2 percent somewhere in the middle).
I think we’d all be lying if we said Dave & Connor weren’t big fan favourites after they made their exit in TAR 22. They had the story, they got along with everybody really well, and were the first team to be officially medically evacuated from TAR (you could make the case Marshall & Lance were the first team to be eliminated due to an injury, but never got pulled from the race by a doctor). Given Dave & Connor won both legs AFTER the injury, and also had two other podium finishes, there was a massive ‘what if.’ I know Dave only did one Roadblock all season, but there is a very real argument over whether they would’ve won the whole season if it wasn’t for the injury.
They would’ve held onto an Express Pass going into leg five, and weren’t on anybody’s radar for the U-Turn. It would’ve been interesting towards the end of the season if teams would’ve aligned with Bates & Anthony or Dave & Connor.
On a rewatch nearly a decade later, the achilles and cancer references gets extremely repetitive and takes away from the viewing experience. It really disrupts the flow of the season as we had some other more intriguing dynamics going on.
Clearly Dave & Connor were instant locks for the next all-star season as Production let them participate in leg five just so they could go to the pit stop and talk with Phil when quitting. Production really wanted to make a big deal of it on TV. It definitely wasn’t a subtle or quiet exit.
6) Matt Davis & Daniel Moss
As I said before, whichever team out of the three who took the penalty and got eliminated
would be perceived as idiots by the public. Unfortunately for Matt & Daniel earn that distinction.
They’re the first team to go home due to making a pact with all remaining teams on the course to take a four hour penalty and be certain they could hit the mat before them.
You can see the logic in their decision. Why give Max & Katie and Caroline & Jennifer the opportunity to be lucky and find clues buried in the sand before you, and thus guarantee your elimination? If you’re level and you have canoeing and paddling experience, you must have a large amount of confidence there’s no way you’re going home.
Sure, Max & Katie might be decent at canoeing, but Caroline & Jennifer? Bah! Firefighters vs. country singers? Who’s gonna have more stamina after four hours of digging in the sand? I bet Matt & Daniel didn’t even think it would be close.
Of course they looked rather foolish when their va’a tipped twice, and Max & Katie and Caroline & Jennifer strolled on the mat together.
I presume the idea with casting Matt & Daniel was to have the all-male heroic team. Nice humble firefighters could’ve been low-key fan favourites. I’m surprised they haven’t been cast for season four of Tough As Nails.
As for their entertainment value and personalities. . .they weren’t the most charismatic team. Matt did his best Droopy impression for the entire premiere. I’ve never seen somebody frown so much pre-season and during the leg since Mark of Mark & Bopper.
Overall, I doubt Matt & Daniel remember their names specifically. After this season, they’re always referred to as “that team who couldn’t paddle in that first episode of that season where all 3 teams took a penalty cause they couldn’t find a clue inside a sandcastle.”
I’m sure they got PTSD when this task was repeated for TAR 25.
Team Averages
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Below is a list of all teams from seasons I have blogged to date, ranked by racing average.
e.g. Don & Mary Jean finished 9th, 8th, 8th, 8th, and 8th. Add up the numbers and divide it by the number of legs they have played.
Therefore their average is 8.2.
Because of how long this list has become, I only show the relevant section where the eliminated team from this episode has fallen amongst the ranks of what TAR history has to offer.
11th Ryot & Liberty 7.0 TAR Australia 1
5th Lucy & Emilia 6.9 Saved By Salvage Pass TAR Australia 2
8th Kerri & Stacy 6.8 TAR 20
7th Niroo & Kapil 6.75 TAR Asia 3
7th Christie & Jodi 6.67 TAR 14 Saved by NEL
9th Brad & Victoria 6.67 TAR 14
7th Alana & Mel 6.67 TAR Australia 1
6th Maria & Tiffany 6.57 Saved by NEL once and Justin’s blunder again TAR 15
9th Rogers Family 6.5 R.I.P. Renee. TAR 8
8th Susan & Patrick 6.5 TAR 7
11th Amanda & Kris 6.5 TAR 18 Automatic U-Turned.
6th Henry & Terri 6.44 Used Their Yield; Saved by a non-elimination round THREE times. R.I.P. Henry. TAR Asia 2
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43 Saved by NEL once TAR 1
8th Margie & Luke 6.4 TAR 18
9th Caitlin & Brittany 6.33 TAR 21
9th Brett & Kinar 6.33 Rocky finish. TAR Asia 2
9th Aubrey & Jacqueline 6.33 TAR Asia 1
8th Pailin & Natalie 6.33 TAR Asia 3
9th Wanda & Desiree 6.25 TAR 9
7th Aja & Cabbie 6.2 TAR 13
7th Paul & Amie 6.2 TAR 1
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF TAR 4
6th David & Mary 6.13 FF Saved by NEL once TAR 10
6th Chuck & Wynona 6.125 U-Turned. Saved by NEL and a forfeiture TAR 22
— D+ —
5th Kent & Vyxsin 6.0 Used U-Turn and Saved by NEL once TAR 18
7th Ron & Christina 6.0 TAR 18
7th Rob & Kelley 6.0 Used U-Turn Once, Used U-Turn Once and Unsuccessfully U-Turned Once TAR 21
8th Lance & Keri 6.0 TAR 15
9th Zev & Justin 6.0 Passport lost. TAR 15
Thesupacoowackiestblogintheuniverse's Blog 
According to the family at RFF, they flew to Zurich via Johannesburg and London.
Ah, so close!
Production clearly failed to learn their lesson insofar as avoiding recently visited destinations: first Bangladesh, then this Helvetian crapshow only four seasons and two years after Unfinished Business did it better (whither Slovenia?!).
Yeah, it’s incredible to me how few debuting countries occur in this era. If anyone wonders why TAR 21-24 led to a ton of viewers dropping out due to it being stale and repetitive, only using countries within the U.K. as new locations really wasn’t helping.
I don’t think really cared about repeating locations as most of the original fanbase had left. To these new fans, it was their first time.