The Amazing Race Australia 2 Episode 8 Rankings: Crocodile Hunters

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EIGHTH EPISODE

EPISODE BLOG #317: Crocodile Hunters

COUNTRIES VISITED

PHILIPPINES – INDIA – UNITED ARAB EMIRATES – TURKEY – FRANCE – CUBA – CANADA – CHINA – AUSTRALIA

PRODUCERS: Sam & Sticky go home due to a controversial elimination! Ye gods! Having season-long beloved fan favourites that have a good story for the audience is ruined!

PRODUCERS: What if. . .What if I disguise Sticky & Sam being eliminated by a Must-Vote U-Turn with their own ineptitude at driving to one of the route markers and never acknowledge they earned an Express Pass AND used it at a good time?

PRODUCERS: Delightfully devilish, Seymour!

Producers and Michael MacKay

With their lack of explanations

Logan’s going to fill in with his own ludicrous exaggerations

When he finds out their unaired reasons for eliminations

They’ll be hittin’ the blog tonight!

“Michael MacKaaaaay!”

“Ah! Channel 7! I’m just doing isometric editing! Care to join?”

Previously on TAR Australia: Brother and sister Joseph & Grace stole James & Sarah’s taxis to get ahead. When teams raced ahead to Havana, Cuba in search of the famous Tropicana Nightclub, classic cars put the brakes on some. Workmates Paul & Steve beat the Twins to the pit stop but both teams found there was more to come.

Seven teams remain; who will be eliminated?

PREVIOUSLY ON TAR. . .MENTIONS:
PAUL & STEVE: 6
JAMES & SARAH: 4
ROSS & TARRYN: 3
STICKY & SAM 2
LUCY & EMILIA: 1
ADAM & DANE 1
KYM & DONNA 1
SUE & TERESA 1
JOSEPH & GRACE 1
MICHELLE JO 1
SHANE & ANDREW 0

They reshow Paul & Steve and Michelle & Jo opening their clues. They read they must drive to Marina Hemingway and sign up for charter boats with four different departure times.

Shane & Andrew’s confessionals are repeated from last episode.

They are still on the road pushing their car.

A local helps and starts swimming underneath the bonnet of the car.

The car is fixed and Shane & Andrew are on their way.

Joseph & Grace push their car in front of a Cuban house party.

How does Grace find the time to dance with locals on every leg?

By the way, if somebody offers you “Ron” at the party Grace, they are referring to the Spanish word for “rum” and not the name of a man who pleases the ladies at the house party.

They find a woman who is very adamant about fixing their car. She notes a fuse has blown.

While Grace is dancing her ass off inside the other twelve people are trying to fix her car.

The woman picks up a wire in the street and uses it to fix the fuse.

In Cuba, you use anything you can find around you. You have no choice but to be really resourceful.

The problem is fixed and the car keeps moving.

“Come back tomorrow for keg stands!”

Shane & Andrew run into the nightclub with their giant backpacks on.

Some clubs I have been to force women to check their purses. Here at Tropicana you’re not allowed to stroll through security with 60L backpacks.

They reshow Lucy & Emilia getting stuck on the train line.

LUCY: We never ever thought about giving up but I certainly thought about abandoning the car.

Yeah, if that train comes ’round the corner and you bail Lucy, all that signals to the world is “quitter.” Actions speak louder than words.

Lucy & Emilia and JAMES & SARAH enter Tropicana Nightclub simultaneously. Luckily Joseph & Grace aren’t around to carjack James & Sarah as they enter Tropicana Nightclub.

“Where did Ms. Pelosi go?”

“Sorry kids, Ms. Pelosi quit to become a full time Cuban showgirl.”

James & Sarah and Lucy & Emilia receive their clues in fourth and fifth respectively.

LUCY (voice falls flat): Drive yourselves.

Not what they wanted to read. Considering James & Sarah have caught up, Lucy & Emilia must assume they are in last place right now.

Sarah excited to know with certainty she isn’t in last place for the first time since the Dubai leg.

Shane & Andrew check into the pit stop.

THIRD PLACE: SHANE & ANDREW

When we have self-drive legs, they are always met with shocked check-in reactions at the mat. This season has been littered with them.

Paul & Steve and Michelle & Jo make it to the marina and sign up for the 8:00am boats.

It appears we have a 2-2-1-2 departure spread thirty minutes apart. Teams like Paul & Steve and Michelle & Jo have had multiple massive leads that keep getting erased since the Istanbul Intersection. Besides the unaired content, this is the biggest pet peeve of the leg.

UNAIRED TWIST

There was a second Must-Vote U-Turn this episode that went completely unaired. I assume it happened at the marina as it is the biggest equalizer of the episode.

I know we are jumping ahead in time and these are spoilers for TAR Australia 4 nearly a decade later, but Tom & Tyler were victims of a Must Vote U-Turn in the penultimate leg. They cried it was unfair and the twist was designed to get them out.

You know who jumped in on Twitter saying to suck it up and that they aren’t the only ones to be victims of it?

No, it’s not Louisa & Treasuri who were U-Turned AND Yielded in the Final Four penultimate leg.

No, it was actually Sticky & Sam. They are going to get U-Turned this episode and it is completely edited out and nobody knew about it until the day after Tom & Tyler were eliminated. The secret was kept for seven years. Not even the superfans online had any idea it existed.

As far as I know:

James & Sarah, Joseph & Grace, Paul & Steve, and Michelle & Jo voted Sticky & Sam.
Lucy & Emilia voted Shane & Andrew.
Shane & Andrew and Sticky & Sam voted Paul & Steve.

I -think- those were the votes. If you listen to my interview with Shane & Andrew, even they don’t know with certainty who they voted for. In fact, when I asked during the podcast it took a minute for them to remember it even happened. As somebody who has interviewed contestants dating back to the very first season of TAR, it’s fun to try and get people to remember things that happened a really really long time ago.

Whether they remember it clearly is part of the mystery. In fact, I had a team from TAR 3 who initially accepted to be interviewed but declined on the grounds of “it was over 14 years ago and neither I nor my teammate really remember much anymore.”

ANOTHER UNAIRED TWIST

When the season was airing, people online caught on Sticky & Sam were awarded Express Passes at the end of episode two.

Once they were U-Turned this leg, Sticky & Sam did use it on the Detour option they didn’t complete. This marks the first time ever a last place team used an Express Pass. Again, fans assumed the Express Pass must’ve expired because we never saw Sticky & Sam use it.

Thankfully, another thing which came to light is Sticky & Sam did indeed use it. Express Passes typically have a stupidly early expiration date most seasons, but happy to know you could use it for a minimum of six rounds.

Unfortunately, I’ll never know why this massive storyline went unaired. Maybe it’s because Sticky & Sam didn’t have drama with other teams and go home the same leg. Editors may have been focused on other rivalries or wanted to showcase Cuba more. This was a 49 minute episode. They definitely had the time to show it but simply chose not to do so.

That must be frustrating in exit interviews where you can’t talk about why you were -really- eliminated for years after the episodes air.

QUICK REMINDER OF UNAIRED DETOUR

Rum or Dance during the first Havana leg. The dance may or may not be to the song “Havana” by Camilla Cabello.

****

Anyways, let’s move on from that sidebar.

Joseph & Grace receive their clue in sixth place. Grace sways as she reads the clue. They see Sticky & Sam as they exit.

I thought it would suck to be the drummer in the band, but apparently not.

“Dear Sticky & Sam,

If you sabotage another team during this leg, you will be awarded airtime. Stop being the nice guys from Tassy. We’re not buying that shit.

Sincerely,

Production.”

James & Sarah check in.

FOURTH PLACE: JAMES & SARAH

Clearly James & Sarah spilled the Paris taxi incident to Grant. Grant loves tea being spilled!

Lucy & Emilia think they are last as they jog onto the mat.

FIFTH PLACE: LUCY & EMILIA

When you think you’re last. . .

. . .But you’re not.

I like how Lucy’s shock always lasts longer than Emilia’s every time.

GRANT: But girls. . .
LUCY: Oh no.

Lucy is half-expecting the pit stop greeter to be an undercover cop and put her in handcuffs.

GRANT: You’re still racing.

“. . .I’d rather be arrested right now.”

Lucy & Emilia and James & Sarah are all exhausted. Lots of sighing.

EMILIA: Drive yourselves. . .
LUCY: Nooooo! I can’t get in that car.

“I don’t wanna go to school!”

SARAH: This pit stop it hasn’t stopped. It’s a pit pause.
JAMES: It was a pit continue.

SUPERFANS: It’s called a Keep on Racing leg or a Double Length Leg. STOP THE RECRUITS FROM BEING PUT ON THE SHOW!!!!

Teams are so worn out they are falling asleep during their confessionals.

Shane & Andrew sign up for the 8:30am boat.

Sticky & Sam are lost and pull into another gas station.

You have no idea what you’re in for, boys. You’ll be supporting the American embargo by the end of this leg.

“SIXTH PLACE”: JOSEPH & GRACE

GRANT: Guys, I can’t check you in. You pulled another team’s gear out of a taxi. You’re serving a two hour penalty.

“Joseph & Grace didn’t get beat because all of the other teams were better than them; no, they got beat by a bunch of rules.”

Cuba is not the place I would expect to serve karmic retribution.

GRACE: I don’t want to be eliminated over Sarah and James. I want them out of the game.

Joseph gets to sit and listen about James & Sarah for two hours without anywhere to go. It may or may not be why Joseph looks so fatigued in confessionals.

Joseph & Grace get an unofficial two hour pit stop. Brilliant move on their part.

Sarah refers to Joseph & Grace as “dirty dirty rats.” They sign up for an 8:30am boat. Lucy & Emilia are the lone 9:00am team.

Needless to say Emilia was ready to pass out at the wheel if the day went on any longer. Half of her brain is in Havana and the other half is dreaming about being in East Atlanta.

Wait wait wait. I’m thinking of the wrong woman.

The tables have turned compared to the start of the season as Sticky & Sam and Joseph & Grace will occupy the bottom two spots to start out the leg.

If Grant doesn’t summon them at the end of the penalty, I think Joseph will sleep through the penalty.

Sticky & Sam eventually make it to the pit stop. Grant informs them they are last.

“Can we please party at Tropicana Nightclub before we go?”

Grant doesn’t tell them about the penalty and simply says the leg isn’t over.

SIXTH PLACE: STICKY & SAM

This is the biggest reaction we get from them.

In a Communist country, all of the teams get the same outcome at the first pit stop.

Joseph & Grace’s penalty comes to an end.

As someone who has napped in parks in Havana, I know how comfy it can be. Grace has to wake up Joseph.

As I’ve noted in prior confessionals during the last episode, Joseph is exhausted. His voice even sounds rough in the confessional for this episode.

Sticky & Sam estimate they were five hours behind the leading teams. This semi-equalizer cuts the deficit down to 90 minutes. Joseph & Grace sign up. Grace is surprised to see James & Sarah as high as fourth.

Grace has no choice but to acknowledge Sarah’s competence at the race.

We skip to a nice Cuban morning. I only got to ride a ferry to the giant Jesus statue. These teams get a proper boat. Dangit. Michelle & Jo and Paul & Steve read it’s a Roadblock.

ROADBLOCK HINT: WHO’S FEELING A LITTLE NAUTICAL?

One team member will be given two coordinates, a nautical chart, and compass to find a fisherman at sea. However, if they catch a fish at sea they receive they can return to the marina and not have to waste time finding the fisherman.

Clever, Michael MacKay. The Old Man and the Sea themed task. I like how the Roadblock has multiple paths to victory. It’s a Detour within a Roadblock. I like it.

“I’m on a boat! Grant has packed his flippy floppies and you at Kinko’s straight flipping copies.”

Who wants to bet one or both of these guys are also baseball coaches?

Steve and Jo are doing the Roadblock. Failure to complete either of the two tasks at the Roadblock incurs a four hour penalty.

STEVE: We have to go 98 degrees.

That’s right. Steve figures out the old fisherman is near the Una Noche Marina. Who knew.

If you can’t read a map nor a compass you are absolutely screwed at this task.

Jo thinks Michelle will commit murder against her anytime she fails to complete the Roadblock. That’s a lot of pressure. Michelle says neither of them can read a compass nor have ever caught a fish. The four hour penalty is looming.

STEVE: ARE YOU THE OLD MAN FROM THE SEA?!

“I think he is telling us he just finished the Roadblock.”

M. Night Shyamalan twist: Steve’s captain is The Old Man From the Sea.

Jo is confused and crying. She mistakes water for land on the map.

“I’m not the only one! I thought the green was water and the blue was land too!”

If Jo had cheerleaded for the Miami Dolphins, she would have a shot at catching a fish.

Jo directs the boat in circles as if the boat itself was a Turkish Dervish.

“Havana is supposed to be fun and good!”

Steve checks with various boats.

James & Sarah and Shane & Andrew are at the Roadblock. Shane volunteers himself.

Sarah beats James at Rock, Paper, Scissors. James has to do it. I think they are the first co-ed team to determine who does a Roadblock by RoShamBo.

JAMES: Use a compass. . .

James does NOT know how to use a compass. Sarah can’t help but laugh at him.

JAMES: I’ll admit it–I’ll have no clue.

Steve finds the correct boat.

Steve gets the clue from a guy named Miguel Angel.

They read it’s a Detour. Che Puzzle or Daiquiri Guzzle.

CHE PUZZLE

Put together a 90-piece puzzle of Che Guevara in Old Havana. Complete the puzzle an receive their next clue.

It’s a miniature version of the giant mural in Revolution Plaza.

I wonder how Grant would have done as a Cuban revolutionary. I could see him on a motorcycle smoking a cigar banishing American invaders.

DAIQUIRI GUZZLE

Go to El Floridita Bar where Ernest Hemingway used to drink daiquiris (and about 93 different types of alcohol). Teams must make six daiquiris, and deliver the daiquiris on a tray using only one hand to Hemingway’s room at Hotel Ambos Mundos. Once finished, they must receive their next clue.

GRANT: This will test teams’ strength and balance with potentially shattering results.

I really hope he wrote that one himself.

I like how Havana’s biggest claim to fame outside of the Revolution is Hemingway drinking himself into the depths of alcoholism.

From personal experience, this attraction is not well-known to locals. They have no idea where Hemingway’s home was.

Jo sees Paul & Steve’s boat heading for shore. Jo decides to go where their boat came from.

It’s either copy another team or Jo gets to experience Cuba’s high quality healthcare system.

Jo’s strategy works. She has the clue.

Michelle & Jo try to read the clue but Jo is retching.

What happens if somebody vomits on a clue? Do you get a new one? I know teams have been penalized in the past for retrieving an additional clue. It had to have happened in the past where a clue gets damaged and needs to be replaced. It’s not like it is lost or a team intentionally tried to damage it.

Michelle can’t read it because she is losing her balance.

Jo can’t read it because she is still on the verge of vomiting.

Michelle has enough balance to read the Detour. Wow. That took a lot of work.

Jo might become the first person to vomit at a bar without ingesting a single drink!

I should note Steve earlier guessed it would be a puzzle of Che’s face based on the clue and Detour title.

MICHELLE: No. Over the edge, dickhead.

I never thought the first person to say “dickhead” this season would be a bubbly blonde cheerleader.

MICHELLE: Back to the marina please, sir!

I like how Michelle is paying zero attention to her partner vomiting. She was only worried about it getting on her shoes.

James and Shane are yelling at random boats. Shane tries to fish for his clue.

If it’s a task involving navigation and a driver, Shane & Andrew are always eager to find a way around it based on the first half of the season.

Paul & Steve get into their car and drive back into the heart of Havana.

Producers weren’t eager to have this round last 18 hours so they decided to switch teams into much better cars.

Michelle & Jo are happy to be in a modern manual car, but. . .

That ain’t it.

Nope.

Nope.

Shit.

They had more luck with the old school cars.

Emilia thinks she is nautical.

EMILIA: I am known for having no sense of direction.
LUCY: At all.

Emilia is analyzing her map.

EMILIA: It says 98 degrees magnetic, I don’t even know what that means, from the Russian Embassy.

EMILIA: Where’s the Russian Embassy???

“Here’s how you find the Russian Embassy. You take the map and the compass, turn it just the right way. . .and then shove it up your butt!!!”

JAMES: If I didn’t find the old man of the sea within the hour, I get a four hour penalty.

For some reason the time limit wasn’t specified at the start of the Roadblock. What was the time limit? One hour? Two hours? Based on the timeline my guess is they had two hours to complete the challenge. Maybe it had something to do with the fuel in the boat. I dunno.

JAMES: This is useless. I feel like an idiot because I’m basically doing what an idiot does.

“If you look up the word ‘idiot’ in the dictionary, there’s basically a picture of me.”

James.

Michelle & Jo seek locals to help them put the car in reverse. It took twenty minutes to put the car in reverse.

“I need two men on this!”

“Hmmm. This is a newer model than the one I have. This doesn’t seem to be made in the 1950s.”

Michelle & Jo drive away.

Paul & Steve are told it is an eight kilometre walk from Washington Avenue to the challenge. They are confident this is a big pile of misinformation and switch to Daiquiri Guzzle.

Shane catches a fish.

That’s dinner for another Keep on Racing leg!

I guess the third way to receive the clue was to beat the shit out of the skipper on your boat before you have to catch a fish or try to find the old man in the sea. It’d be the first case of police brutality on The Amazing Race ever.

Shane & Andrew choose Che Puzzle.

This shot makes Andrew seem ridiculously big.

SHANE (confessional): How hard can a puzzle be?

“You’d have to basically be an idiot doing what an idiot basically does to not solve it.”

Joseph & Grace and Sticky & Sam prepare to depart as Shane comes in. It took him under an hour to complete the Roadblock.

“Y’all hungry?”

Sam and Joseph are doing the Roadblock. Sam is very confused by the map and compass.

I haven’t seen Sam this confused with maps since he was in sex ed looking at the anatomy of the female reproductive system.

Grace is in the Grace position.

Emilia yells at boats then feels seasick.

It looks like somebody did Daiquiri Guzzle prior to the Roadblock.

In between vomiting, Emilia shouts for the driver to go northeast.

Man, if this pit stop isn’t twelve hours I think the cast might revolt. . .or vomit.

Michelle & Jo and Shane & Andrew align to drive to find the Che puzzle together.

Paul & Steve are at the Floridita Bar. Paul doesn’t drink but Steve was a bartender at an Australian themed bar in Manchester my co-host Michael Harmstone has walked by (but never entered) numerous times.

“When do we put in the protein powder, Steve?”

Michelle & Jo offer a very backhanded confessional.

MICHELLE: Shane & Andrew have always been at the back of the pack so this was the first opportunity to work with each other.

Michelle & Jo and Shane & Andrew start working on the puzzle.

This task is in a very public location. Tourists and locals can’t help but watch two blonde cheerleaders put together a jigsaw puzzle.

Michelle & Jo have no idea what they’re making.

Meanwhile, James is told he has only ten minutes left and must choose between one of two boats.

A four hour penalty is coming down to a coin flip. I don’t know how I feel about this time limit on the challenge.

Believe it or not, TAR 30 had a Detour called This or That. And it was a Blind Detour. James is in the riskiest coin flip we can see on TAR. Pick the wrong boat and he is guaranteed to be eliminated.

After some suspense, James makes the right choice. The leg isn’t a foregone conclusion by the halfway point of the episode.

Unlike Sarah, James is able to avoid a four hour penalty.

James & Sarah say this makes up for all of the bad luck they have been complaining about since the start of the season. Lucy & Emilia also pick the correct boat and choose to do Che Puzzle. I can’t see them being coordinated enough to carry a tray of drinks.

Paul & Steve have their drinks and exit the bar.

Paul starts curling the tray.

I wonder what happens if locals think the drinks are complementary and casually take them off of the tray?

That guy seems fun.

A woman singing. . .gigantic unsteady performers on stilts. . .it goes unaired, but Paul & Steve also had to walk over a pit of hot coals in the middle of the street too.

The performer is just playing it up for the camera. I wouldn’t get too close to Paul, though.

One of the band members of a KISS cover band gets in the way too.

Paul says he has his left arm in a defensive position preparing to strike anyone who gets in his way.

By the way, the liquid in the drinks can’t go below that red line on each glass.

PAUL: I was ready to swat or slap anyone.

“I didn’t do anything; your stilts ran into me!”

The blockade of musicians and performers makes a difficult task extra difficult.

Michelle & Jo invite tourists to help put the puzzle together.

“This will be great for my Instagram and RFF!”

“What are you doing taking pictures of other women? You never take pictures of me!”

“How about we go somewhere nice?”

Shane & Andrew see Michelle & Jo receiving help. Shane & Andrew recruit a fortune teller.

“I see much ride-sharing apps in your future.”

There is an overload of fashion going on here. Are they selling the flowers or are they accessories?

Sam finds the correct boat using the compass. He did better than he thought. They choose Daiquiri Guzzle.

STICKY: I ran for a nightclub for five years.

Isn’t he 24 years old?

Joseph & Grace read the clue.

GRACE: Dehkiri Gooozle or Czech Puzzle?

What Detour is Grace doing?

You can guzzle from Riku Kiri or do a puzzle of the Czech flag.

“Don’t do Czech puzzle, man.”

Joseph fails to convince Grace that carrying a tray of glasses will be difficult.

JOSEPH: Grace has a listening impairment where she doesn’t listen correctly. What can you do with little sisters?

“Six glasses, Grace.”

If their parents were around, I think they would be put into timeout.

JOSEPH: She’s gonna have a heart attack if we don’t do the daiquiri task.

SARAH: We have to put that Chi, Che, Cho whatever–what was the bloke’s name? The bloke on the T-shirts.

Cho Chi Guevara–everyone’s favourite Asian-Argentine Cuban revolutionary.

TAR Australia producers are very eager to showcase Ernest Hemingway today.

I think this bloke is ready to go into another battle. Somebody get this guy a bazooka.

We get a nice aerial shot of the Che Puzzle as Lucy & Emilia have arrived.

Emilia’s strategy is to do the outside of the puzzle then work her way in. That seems standard.

Paul & Steve are at Hotel Ambos. They now have to walk up five flights of stairs.

Tourists are NOT making this easy. This looks so damn difficult.

Fake Hemingway watches as they can still only use one hand to put it on the table.

Steve’s blood pressure is finally going down.

The fake Hemingway is as untalkative as the real Hemingway.

“This will last me about four hours.”

“If TAR ever goes to Ronda, you can find me there. We’ll do a bell task on one of the bridges.”

Paul & Steve read their clue.

PAUL: Drive yourselves to Aus–Drive yourselves to Australia????

Drive themselves to Australia? On leg eight? What is this?

TAR Australia 5????

Grant says teams must drive themselves two hours southeast to the village of Australia and find a crocodile farm. They must feed and catch a crocodile to receive their next clue.

Believe it or not, this was Fidel’s base during the Bay of Pigs invasion.

“You choo-choo-choose me?”

Apparently several villages in Cuba are named after continents in the world.

Of course TAR Australia forces its contestants to become actual Crocodile Hunters.

Steve high fives the stilt performers on his way out.

He nearly knocks one of them over as the performer is visibly scared.

STEVE: We did the task as fast as you possibly could.
PAUL: No, you’d have to be pretty awesome.

We suddenly hear a track very similar to “Wut’s Love?” by Fat Joe as Shane & Andrew and Shane & Andrew complete the puzzle.

I guess great healthcare means you can smoke as many cigars as you like.

SHANE: Australia??? Is this a trick?

“Are our cars amphibious? Right-o!”

Michelle & Jo are equally confused after reading the clue.

Michelle & Jo and Shane & Andrew hire a cab to lead them to the Australia route marker. I think this might be the last time we see teams being able to hire drivers to lead them to a destination on The Amazing Race.

Sticky has worked in a cocktail bar and competed in cocktail competitions. Sticky’s balance is quite impressive for only have one arm as he walks.

It has been raining so Old Havana must be slippery. The daiquiris are melting which makes the liquid higher. Sam has to pull out the location of where they need to go. This is proving to be difficult as one hand must be on the tray at all times.

For some reason I don’t think Sticky would’ve been able to pull off that maneuver.

Sticky also doesn’t have an additional arm to defend himself from locals and tourists like Paul did or that extra balance.

James & Sarah argue over how to put pieces together. James doesn’t mind locals helping but Sarah thinks it is a net negative as the locals put in pieces backwards.

“I’m gonna kill that guy.”

The arguing spills over into a confessional.

SARAH: Why do you butt heads with me??? Just go with it!

I think Sarah has been picking up animated hand gestures from the Pelosis.

James ignores Sarah’s commands.

I can’t tell if these confessionals are disguised as therapy.

SARAH: I always think I’m right. If you don’t really prove me wrong then I am right.

That’s so true. If I say I am certain 73 percent of everyone in my neighborhood prefers dark chocolate over white chocolate, I am correct unless you go speak to everyone in the neighborhood and calculate the exact percentage and come out with a different number.

Sarah’s method turns out to be successful.

SARAH: See the method? Success? Do you see this method? Do you want to stick to this method? Do you want to stick to this method?
JAMES: Yes!

So funny.

Grace dances while she makes the daiquiris.

It’s Hemingway who you have to charm. . .not these guys.

We watch Sticky & Sam walk through the streets.

The clue really should have included “Caution: Obnoxious Stilt Performers Ahead.”

Sam runs into his first girlfriend.

She has a freakin’ whistle too–Sam will have to explain that story to Sticky.

Sam says he wishes he could throw the tray into their faces.

SARAH: My idea worked.
JAMES: You know the saying “a good leader first needs to learn how to follow.”
SARAH: Happy wife happy life is another.

I think James will be stuck in the “follow” stage for a while.

How long is her dress?!

We get to see the “Drive yourselves to Australia!” as a stand-alone line to confuse the teams.

Joseph & Grace start walking. Joseph’s voice sounds really rough in the confessional.

Sticky & Sam successfully deliver the daiquiris.

Sticky & Sam are in their best position for a while. I don’t know how misleading the edit is as I know Sticky & Sam used their Express Pass on the unaired cigar active route info task. How long it took before they used their Express Pass on the puzzle is unknown or if they drove there after completing this challenge.

I bet during this U-Turn they took longer than necessary because Sam was enriching the daiquiris with rufalin for the women at the Floridita Bar.

Lucy & Emilia prepare for a game of Twister on Che Guevara’s face. Right leg cigar!

Lucy & Emilia complete the puzzle.

That guy is straight out of the 1930s. He probably was friends with Hemingway!

Lucy & Emilia get their clue from the Cigar Lady.

I bet if I posted this image and didn’t tell you what country this was, nobody would be guessing Cuba.

Lucy & Emilia read the clue.

LUCY: Drive yourselves to Australia.

“Aroo?”

“Did continental drift get expedited by a billion years and now we’re all one big supercontinent again?”

Joseph & Grace are walking very slowly. Grace is visibly wincing as she walks.

GRACE: I need another break, Jo.

That’s a terrible strategy. You can’t set the tray down or switch hands. There is no such thing as a “break” in this challenge.

Grace transitions her hand into a much more comfortable position.

I like how the two men in the background are critiquing her technique.

GRACE: So much better. That feels so much better–

So that’s how the glass shards got into the Miss Vickies chips!

I love the man’s reaction on the right.

JOSEPH: Let’s do the puzzle. I told you. You don’t listen. I told you. You don’t listen. See what happens?
***
JOSEPH: That’s the last time you make a decision.
GRACE: What? We can do it again.
JOSEPH: I told you. I told you.
GRACE: At least I know how to mix a daiquiri.

Joseph is not amused.

They switch to doing the puzzle. Most of the locals are gone.

I guess locals didn’t feel like solving the Che puzzle for a fourth time.

GRACE: Doing puzzles is your thing.

Grace. . .what’s your thing? It’s an ongoing storyline.

Sticky & Sam make weird noises in the car in between commentary.

Paul & Steve are in Australia.

“Australia.”

Paul & Steve have to fill up the wheelbarrow with stinky and bloody fish.

Oddly enough this doesn’t taste much worse than what I ate at most Cuban restaurants.

I wonder if “Viva Cuba Libre” means to celebrate a free Cuba or to celebrate their tasty rum drinks. Viva Cuba Libre!

PETA is not happy with this task.

I hear the fish poured out their blood, sweat, and tears to feed the crocs.

I have been a vegetarian for eleven years, and this scene is NOT helping me change my mind. It’s like a Dementor has been stabbed.

I think that’s the crocodile that took Chubs’ hand.

Michelle & Jo and Shane & Andrew load up wheelbarrows together. The twins have a huge reaction to the disgusting fish blood and guts. I think they would prefer to be seasick again.

The knife goes in, the guts come out. . .

MICHELLE: It splattered my face, my shoes, my hands. . .it was so disgusting.

Good luck showering that stench off.

Paul & Steve have to each catch a crodile.

Crocs have cat-like reflexes.

Paul needs to channel his inner Ketchum to have a shot at this.

Shane & Andrew move their wheelbarrow.

MICHELLE OR JO: Cheerleaders don’t do this kind of stuff!

To be fair, I don’t think Melbourne police officers are required to know how to transport Cuban gutted fish to a crocodile pit neither. In fact, I don’t think any contestant’s occupation this season has them do a task like this.

Except maybe Sam as a form of hazing to get into a fraternity. Other than that, nobody else has prior experience with this.

Look at that feeding frenzy!

Paul uses his Solid Snake skills. A crocodile panics and jumps into the lasso.

Crikey! It’s Darwinism at its finest.

Paul seems disgusted by the clue telling him to travel by foot then by marked boat to the pit stop.

Steve can’t help but do an arm pump when he sees it’s a pit stop. If they make it there first, Paul & Steve become one of 17 teams as of 2020 to win four consecutive legs on The Amazing Race worldwide.

Grant says teams must take a speedboat across the Laguna del Tesoro Nature Reserve until they reach bungalows. One of the bungalows is the pit stop.

We get a quick jump-cut into Grant’s face.

It’s better than the accommodations at the start of TAR 26.

Paul leads Steve out of the croc farm.

STEVE: You sure this is the way?

“A local told us Washington Avenida was eight kilometres that way.”

I think they’re happy just to get the fish guts away from them.

“Just pretend that croc is an Emirati taxi driver.”

“Be vwewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbit.”

Andrew catches a croc.

There is a bit of thrashing, but not much from the croc. He is no match for Andrew. It is an unofficial Roadblock because only one person has to do it. They remark on one catching a fish and the other catching a crocodile.

Paul & Steve jump into a speedboat. So do Shane & Andrew.

It’s how I feel when people use their NEXUS pass when they’re behind me at the airport.

Those lifejackets are ridiculously huge.

Grant has to do a rare headturn in order to see who is checking in.

Usually producers find a spot where teams aren’t coming in from behind. It looks better on TV to avoid this scenario.

No single-engine speedboats for Paul & Steve–Shane & Andrew fail to overtake them.

The pit stop greeter is loaned clothes from Steve Irwin’s grandfather.

FIRST PLACE: PAUL & STEVE

Nearly 800 teams have competed on TAR, and Paul & Steve now enter a club occupied by only 17 teams total.

They have won an action-packed holiday of a lifetime to Queenstown courtesy of Pump. Grant of course has to specify it’s valued at 10,000.

Leave it to a guy who does the most weightlifting to win a prize from a company called Pump.

This amount of contact is practically like getting a kiss from Paul.

SECOND PLACE: SHANE & ANDREW

They are -this- close to fully climbing to first.

“Please can we beat Paul & Steve next leg?”

Joseph & Grace are wrapping up their jigsaw puzzle with a larger crowd. There are a few cracks in the puzzle left to fill.

And one crack I hope gets filled sooner rather than later.

Joseph & Grace complete the puzzle.

He might be the most dapper Cuban of them all.

He could be a Dick Tracy henchman.

Joseph & Grace read to go to Australia.

“Can you take me with you?”

A taxi driver offers to take them to the motorway for 20 CUP (I presume it was CUP because that’s the tourist currency while the CUC is the local currency and 20 CUC ain’t gonna be worth much–20 CUP is 27.80 Aussie Dollars).

Regardless I think Joseph & Grace are getting ripped off at this price.

Sticky & Sam are lost on the highway. Sam misread the map. It’s all Sam’s fault. Classic Sam. Sam will be sent to Guantanamo Bay in no time for Crimes Against Bertranity.

Sticky & Sam are driving in the direction of the airport but for some reason we get a shot of them driving by Revolution Plaza (Plaza de la Revolucion).

I highly doubt this didn’t happen–this is well into Havana. This shot makes no sense based on Havana geography and what Sticky & Sam said.

“Where’s magnetic north?”

SAM: After an hour of driving we turned around and were back at the Detour location.

Shit. That’s A LOT of time lost on the road.

Michelle & Jo scream while they say they are “wrestling” a crocodile.

Retreat! Retreat!

James & Sarah are fourth to the croc farm. Sarah is not a fan of the smell.

Sarah seems horrified.

Sarah is disgusted.

Michelle & Jo work together to catch a crocodile. They argue over who caught it. Michelle says she caught it because she hooped it but Jo thinks she caught it because she was the one who tightened the rope.

But yet both fled and ditched the ropes the second they could. There is a lot of screaming but sadly we don’t get a good visual of the screaming.

“But seriously, all me. I have hoop dreams.”

JO: So I caught a crocodile today.
MICHELLE: I caught a crocodile today.

I CAUGHT A CROCODILE TODAY!

We get to see the pit stop clue. At least it’s not Laguna del Trasero.

I hear this boat doesn’t rock quite as much. It is much more enjoyable.

Lucy & Emilia drove to a location without getting lost nor arrested.

LUCY: Finally.

Lucy & Emilia dive right in.

LUCY: There’s no princess time.
EMILIA: No, there’s no princess time!

Princesses don’t step in fish blood.

“Fuck your princess time.”

Sarah tastes the croc meat. She screams in disgust.

“You don’t get dessert until you finish your crab bait.”

Sarah is terrified and stands as far away as James completes the task.

SARAH: He is like a mini Steve Irwin.

Fun fact: Steve Irwin has been dead for nearly 15 years now. Considering I used to watch Crocodile Hunter with my mom as a kid, this makes me feel old.

I don’t think Sarah ever watched.

Sarah snags it with her bare hands to get the clue–nah, just kidding. James catches him with the hoop. They finish the task in fourth place. They advise Lucy & Emilia what to do as Lucy & Emilia enter.

Lucy & Emilia suck at using the shovel as Lucy uses her bare hands to chuck the fish.

“You’ve got guts kid. . .no, you’ve literally got guts in your hands. Please wipe your hands! It’s disgusting!”

LUCY: I think if there’s a task that doesn’t require skill–just get it done. I’m good.

That’s right. Lucy & Emilia feel their best shot at winning The Amazing Race if no skill was involved.

Jo does a pageant wave.

THIRD PLACE: MICHELLE & JO

Jo throws up a gang sign.

James & Sarah check in.

Sarah covers up her blood breath for Grant’s sake.

FOURTH PLACE: JAMES & SARAH

The camera is the other way, Sarah.

Joseph & Grace are sixth to Australia.

Emilia becomes the Crocodile Whisperer as she tries to snag a croc.

EMILIA: I’m going to come up to you and we’re gonna make this nice and easy. C’mon sweetie. C’mon sweetie.

“If you join us, your friends will be punished less.”

Emilia hoops the croc. Her and Lucy jump up and down like kids.

“Ma’am! Ma’am! Let go of him! You’re choking him! You’re choking him! Fuck! Fuck!”

Lucy reads the clue outside of the enclosure as Emilia celebrates.

“Me wantee bungalow!”

Lucy & Emilia jump into their speedboat. Joseph & Grace show up to the crocodile farm and note because of the X’s on the stools in front of each enclosure that they are the second-to-last team. It’s probably the same reason why Lucy & Emilia are so damn bouncy this task.

Lucy & Emilia do a quick dash onto the mat.

FIFTH PLACE: LUCY & EMILIA

I can’t believe it. Lucy & Emilia are advancing to the ninth leg of The Amazing Race.

How are Lucy & Emilia going to survive next week?

Rely on Yagami Light to write another team’s names in his Death Note? Prepare for a heart attack, Michelle & Jo!

Sticky & Sam pull into the crocodile farm and see Joseph & Grace’s car parked in the parking lot. However we don’t see both teams in the same shot. Joseph catches the crocodile. Man, Grace avoids doing a lot of tasks in a post-TAR 5 world.

Both teams feed their crocodiles but we never see teams in the same shot. The editing so far makes it look like the speedboats are extremely close to board and it’s a fixed path to the pit stop. I don’t get how anyone would think this has any suspense.

SIXTH PLACE: JOSEPH & GRACE

Joseph & Grace are relieved.

We get a recap of the whole incident of Joseph & Grace stealing James & Sarah’s taxi. It is the first time the two teams had spoken to each other since then.

“Look whose mouths are bigger than any crocodiles we saw on the farm, James.”

Joseph & Grace apologize for stealing the cab and say it won’t happen again (mainly because then they’ll get a two hour penalty).

“So what?”

SARAH: We just want to make sure there’s no more bullshit.

Sarah mocks Grace’s tone in the confessional.

SARAH: She said “We’re really sorry, it’s wrong.” Whatever.

This is the most awkward hug I’ve ever seen.

Grace goes in for the abs.

SARAH (to JOSEPH): I think you’re more sorry.
SARAH (to GRACE): I think you’re not sorry. I find you a little fake.
GRACE: No no no. You can think whatever you want. You won’t know how I feel.

JOSEPH: We’ll be happy to make it up to you. We’ll help you down the line. That’s my word.
SARAH: Let’s see how it pans out.
***
SARAH (confessional): I just wanted to go. . .

What did the five fingers say to the face?

*slap*

SARAH (confessional): . . .like that. Right then. If you wanna hug me, that’s fine. Let’s see how sorry you are in your actions.

***

GRACE (confessional): I don’t want to make it up to them. I apologized and that’s it. She should accept my apology and let’s move on. I’m not doing anything for them.

I think that’s what makes Grace viewed as a villain by most superfans throughout the season. She lacks. . .sincerity and ownership. Grace’s actions towards Paul and Sarah do not receive heartfelt apologies either time. Even here Grace is saying “just accept my apology and get on with it,” rather than having confessionals of “oh shit I shouldn’t have teased Paul on national television” or “”hmmm, that was wrong of me to steal a team’s cab.”

If Grace had been more consistent and not even tried apologizing to Sarah nor Paul and avoid embarrassing them by chasing them down for apology hugs, and then yell “they’re not accepting my apology because they are cranky and mean people.”

I think it’s this trait that is going to make Grace not be able to have too many post-race bonds. I know other seasons where cast members want to kill each other on screen, but then they become good friends after the season is over. Grace’s TV edit is only damaging her more.

To me though it’s entertaining. She didn’t steal my cab and then try to hug me!

Sticky & Sam are last to the mat. It is completely dark outside.

LAST PLACE: STICKY & SAM

“You cool with replacing Sam on my team as the navigator for next leg?”

Since all three NELs have been used up for the season and we’re still over two years away from the debut of the Final Four twist, Sticky & Sam know what’s coming.

Grant eliminates them from the race. Unfortunately they got unlucky with the NELs being used at a record pace and a Must Vote U-Turn coming one round too late for them to recover. Oh, and Joseph & Grace not receiving any penalty for coming in last place didn’t help either. Oh, and that Joseph & Grace’s two hour penalty ultimately meant nothing. Oh, and the final task as well as transit to the pit stop was extremely linear with very little variation in time.

But hey, somebody needed to be sacrificed to keep Lucy & Emilia alive.

I bet Sticky & Sam wish they had been U-Turned in the Cigars or Salsa Dance Detour last leg.

Mainly because the dancing the salsa is the only way Sam can get the ladies to take off their underpants. Dancing the salsa is the only way Sam can get the ladies to take off their underpants. His salsa. . .his salsa woah woah woah his salsa.

Grant asks if Sticky had any doubts about his arm. He says he does now and feels there are lots of things he can’t do. “If you are born with only one arm, just accept the fact you’re fucked,” Sticky says. Grant says something to Sam but it goes unaired.

“BMFs! Best Mates Forever! N E N E N E N E!”

~CONFESSIONAL COUNT~
SHANE & ANDREW 8/8
MICHELLE & JO 12/11
STICKY & SAM 12/12
JAMES & SARAH 8/11
LUCY & EMILIA 6/7
JOSEPH & GRACE 7/13
PAUL & STEVE 10/10

Next Time on TAR: As the race hits Canada, the stakes are getting higher. Just four legs remain and one team will crumble in the quest for a million dollars.

NEXT TIME ON. . .MENTIONS:
JAMES & SARAH 1

RANK THE TEAMS:

1) Sue Bumbak & Teresa Italiano

One is a boss and the other is her employee at a hair salon. They are hippies. They spray themselves with something which may or may not contain cannabis and a mystery liquid. They have all of the ingredients of a team who will be the first team out of the race. However, they kick a lot of ass in their three-episode run and even occupy first place for significant periods of time.

Sadly, all it takes is a blunder on the final task of the episode and there just isn’t enough time to catch up. Nobody ran out of money this leg which meant blowing it on a task would put you out of the race. Sue showed up to the Stairmaster task in third place and before you know it she falls down to tenth behind Emilia. She just couldn’t stop to figure out a proper strategy to where she could guarantee herself a fixed number of attempts before succeeding.

It’s fairly high up there on blown leads at a final task.

Knowing what happens at all future eliminations, Sue & Teresa could have easily made it to Final Four in this group. It’s too bad because all-female teams who aren’t in their teams are:

a) Rarely cast for TAR;
b) Demonstrate strong independent qualities and can be serious contenders to win;
c) Make me laugh my ass off multiple times per episode.

Sue & Teresa are part of this legendary cast. If it were any other season, their early exit would be a travesty. Here? It’s just another heavy hitter who had to go at some point. Not everyone can make it to Final Three.

2) Sticky Stick & Sam Hay

Sticky & Sam had an extremely strong start this season. Given that only men have won all four seasons of TAR Australia, all signs pointed to them being the champions. However, the first self-drive leg of the season knocked them down in the standings, and they appeared to go on tilt from there.

Despite the decrease in performance, Sticky & Sam were on the receiving end of an unaired Must-Vote U-Turn as teams were still convinced they were the biggest threats. It’s funny in hindsight because freakin’ Paul & Steve dodge the U-Turn despite tying the record for consecutive legs won in a row.

Sticky had no choice but to have the inspiring edit as he has only one arm. Luckily editors didn’t constantly make it a storyline as much as they would in the American version.

Sticky & Sam were also the recipients of an unaired Express Pass which they also used. Their whole elimination really gets swept away. That must be frustrating for them to not be able to talk about it when it aired on TV.

Sticky & Sam appeared to not be the greatest navigators in the world. They did well at tasks. For some reason, the second they hit Paris they just started to suck really badly. Cash was clearly a concern of theirs as they ran out at the start of the race, and later on would use the metro to find the bridge in Paris.

Sticky & Sam got along with everybody. I was surprised they never got into any conflict with Paul & Steve. Perhaps if there was a rivalry we would have had more airtime there. You should’ve stolen a cab, boys!

Overall, they did well with not being too boring but also not being too obnoxious for a young all-male team. You tend to get one or the other.

3) Kym Bouckaert & Donna Bouckaert

Production clearly wanted a team to fill the Dave & Kelly role of “cool middle-aged couple who can be competitive with the best of them.”

Kym & Donna finish in the top five during the first three legs. They beat their rivals Paul & Steve every single time. The rivalry was looking to last longer but instead was limited to 1 1/2 episodes.

However, being unable to get successful directions without a map in Dubai put them out of the race. The question I will always have is if Kym & Donna had a finite amount of energy for the race and it just got depleted about three or four legs earlier than scheduled. The same thing happened to Dave & Kelly too. I love how the same demographic gets eliminated in an identical fashion both seasons. Self-drive legs in the desert just aren’t Dave & Kelly nor Kym & Donna’s friend.

I don’t have too much else to say about Kym & Donna. They were good confessionalists, they raced well the first few episodes, and then succumbed to the exhaustion and the difficulty of self-drive legs. It’s why I firmly believe modern day TAR in America has become much easier. Anyone can hail a taxi and rely on the luck of the cab–navigating a city without a map in a foreign country takes a lot of skill.

And it’s great we got away from casting eleven teams in their 20s and had some variety to the mix.

Whether Kym & Donna were cast as a team with a genuine shot at the money is highly doubtful, though.

4) Ross Thornton & Tarryn Thornton

Competitive father-daughter teams are quite rare in the TAR universe. Ross & Tarryn defeated ten other teams in a leg set in a third world country (Philippines). They did really well in both India legs and then they really dropped in the standings. Ross & Tarryn were really worn down by the Dubai leg and then Ross fucked up at the Hagia Sophia Roadblock in leg five. They showed a late surgence during their final round of play but it proved to be a gigantic waste of their time due to mistakes made by production.

Why you put an Intersection right before the final task of the episode in a leg where a team is Marked for Elimination is beyond me. They were only going to survive if a team broke a rule or quit the leg by the end of the episode. Perhaps producers thought Michelle or another contestant was going to be medically evacuated during the wrestling task.

If they did survive round six, I am curious if they could have had a surge of energy and restore their strength for the second half of the season. We’ll never know.

Father-daughter teams are quite rare to see in TAR worldwide, and seeing a team prove to be truly capable at the race is refreshing. They aren’t as awful at the race as a Hoskote & Naina from TAR 23, but unfortunately they didn’t achieve the legendary status that Ron & Christina did in TAR 12 and 18.

Lastly, Ross & Tarryn get to be the answer to the trivia question of “Who was the first team to receive AND use the Salvage Pass?” And boy oh boy did they put it to good use.

5) Adam Corowa & Dane Corowa

I have frequently heard the expression over the years “There were ten all-star worthy teams in TAR Australia 2 and Adam & Dane.”

After viewing all of TAR Australia 2, I essentially agree.

Adam & Dane were confirmed as recruits for the season. They were cast this season because of a criticism of TAR Australia (1) being “too white.” It’s true. The first season had a VERY white cast.

So producers found the prettiest all-male non-white team they could find in all of Australia to be cast for TAR.

Reality shows are known for having a huge percentage of white people apply. Minorities typically have to be recruited and headhunted by production. This is very common for Survivor too.

Adam & Dane definitely played like an alpha male team who was recruited as they weren’t even really aware to the rules of the game. They were eliminated due to an easily avoidable penalty.

If Adam & Dane had decided to sell their possessions three minutes earlier, Lucy & Emilia would have been gone by episode two and a footnote for TAR fanatics. Needless to say Adam & Dane were a necessary sacrifice for the greater good.

The lesson learned here is if you’re going to incur a 30 minute penalty, make that decision sooner rather than decide after a long struggle. Treat it like you’re switching Detour tasks. Make the decision to alter your strategy quickly and swiftly.

It’s fun to note Adam & Dane were just 100 metres away from winning the first leg. It has been a VERY long time since a team won the first round then went home in the second round. Hello TAR 4!

 

RANK THE LEGS

1) Istanbul, Turkey -> Paris, France -> Havana, Cuba

This is the final NEL of the season and it’s only round seven of twelve. This will hold the record for quite a while in an 11-team season with 12 legs.

It isn’t necessarily the best episode of the season, but the level of ambition is astounding.

We had two flight scrambles despite each destination being on a different continent. Both destinations have tasks that run through the night including the Paris section which ran well until the last team got to the airport late morning. That’s insane.

The self-drive leg was brutal as teams had to self-drive traditional Cuban cars.

Wait a second. Cuba?! On The Amazing Race?! How is that possible?! TAR Australia once again took advantage of a destination the American counterpart could never visit. In TAR Australia 1 we got Israel and this season we got Cuba. TAR Canada 4 would visit Havana several years later.

Production took full advantage of the 48 minutes of running time as the Paris section didn’t feel rushed and an unaired Cuban Detour was probably for the best. Although I must admit seeing a couple minutes of teams rolling cigars would have been nice.

We also saw the intensity of the rivalry between Joseph & Grace and James & Sarah heat up thanks to Grace wanting to troll another team for the second time on the race mostly for the hell of it.

Lucy & Emilia get a lot of redemption this episode as they switch from the team who is viewed as super duper lucky to make it to this point to a team who can excel in Europe. Unfortunately the route for this season only had them in Europe for twelve hours. By the end of the episode they once again find themselves in an absurd self-drive situation. I can’t believe a cliffhanger for an episode of The Amazing Race ends with “Will a team get killed by an incoming train? Stay tuned next week!”

This episode gets an 11/10 for ambition, an unprecedented Cuba appearance, and a surprising lack of equalizers.

And yes, although it is a Keep On Racing leg, production and the racers were so exhausted they were allowed to have an unscheduled four hour rest at some point in Cuba.

2) Jaipur, India -> Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Must Vote U-Turn.

The team who has been dead last in all three legs gets arrested while in dead last. . .and still survives the leg.

A task making its TAR debut.

Teams struggling with both sides of the Detour.

A fun mini challenge with funny visuals.

Lucy & Emilia doing everything with funny visuals.

A leg so difficult that teams are racing the whole day and a team gets eliminated while sleeping their car.

A proper flight scramble where teams were on separate flights.

Take all of these sentence fragments together and you have one of the best episodes in TAR history. Sure, there was an unaired absailing task, but in a 49 minute episode where a single second isn’t wasted, production had no choice but to draw the line somewhere.

Yes, I’ll admit the horse racing task was a bit lame but it fit in with Dubai’s artificial extravagant culture and led to the absurdity of piggybacking at midnight for a few teams.

Also, Lucy & Emilia survive with a next-to-last or last place finish for the fourth episode of the season marking one of the biggest upsets in the history of the show worldwide.

I challenge you to find a better episode of TAR.

3) Sydney, Australia -> Manila, Philippines

Iconic backdrop for the first leg of the season. Sue & Teresa’s aura cleansing spray. Sarah’s rahrah skirt and hunners not suited for mudpits nor urban running. Sticky & Sam running out of their money after the first cab ride of the season. Traffic Jam puzzle forcing teams to interact with each other was a great way to start. The mental struggle of eating baluts to determine who gets which bus was fun to watch. Seeing teams run around in a pigpen filled with mud trying to catch pigs was decent comedy for the first episode. Sure, a subjective dancing task always sucks but at least there was only one team who could barely complete it. Lastly, assembling your own raft and paddling to the pit stop a very long distance really pushed teams to their limits and tested their skill set. Seeing an alpha male team be -this- close to throwing in the towel and quitting after dominating the first 90 percent of the episode nearly made it an incredible ending. However, the ending of having a team you would expect to go home first to be saved by the dilemma of the Salvage Pass was a decent ending too.

This premiere absolutely destroys any TAR premiere between 14-20 out of the water. I don’t care how big of a blunder Misa & Maiya made last season to make my jaw drop.

4) Delhi, India -> Jaipur, India

Teams are all put on the same bus to Jaipur for the pit start. An unusual move as it meant teams didn’t have to plot their way to figure out how to get to Jaipur. This will become an increasing trend in TAR over the years where the transit between cities and countries are taken out of the racers’ hands.

However, I highly appreciate the fact the pit start times were honoured and there weren’t any equalizers.

Editors left out the Detour of Nails or Coals due to there being two Roadblocks, the ceremony, and the pot task. Ten teams were still left and only 47 minutes of airtime. You could be like TAR Canada and cram every single task into a 40 minute episode so you don’t get to know the teams or you can significantly slow down the pace. I’m glad TAR Australia 2 went with the “Less is More” approach because we had A LOT of character moments this leg.

The cast delivered as all nine teams had memorable moments this episode. Paul sabotages the oldest team in the race but gets his ass kicked by them all the way to the pit stop. That’s hilarious.

Lucy & Emilia are dead last most of the leg but a blunder by a frequent frontrunner of all three legs allows them to survive another round. That’s just glorious.

Sarah and Grace’s rivalry keeps growing.

Sticky & Sam emerge as the biggest threats in the game after winning back-to-back legs easily.

The driving Roadblock was way too easy as everyone received their clue on the first attempt. I understand why producers did it this way but it was ultimately a pointless task where the only skill was driving fast enough on the road to make up time on leading teams.

The pot task was a more creative task as your speed getting to the market wasn’t as important as making sure you didn’t break 15 or more pots. It presented a dilemma of just flying through it and accept you’ll be assessed a fifteen minute penalty, or you are meticulous and hope you don’t serve the fifteen minute penalty.

I liked the stairmaster task.It’s an interesting landmark and there was a lot of skill involved. It was a life-sized puzzle.

The unofficial final task of the leg was not getting ripped off by your tuktuk driver. It’s why traveling through third world countries should be a mandatory requirement for every season of The Amazing Race ever.

5) Manila, Philippines -> Delhi, India

Paul’s storyline is quietly set up more and more in this episode as he pisses off Michelle & Jo, he refuses to help Shane & Andrew, and takes full advantage of Lucy & Emilia’s free advice.

The abundance of leaderboard changes established this season as being more competitive than most. Despite a 47 minute running time, it was clear a lot of interesting events were left on the cutting room floor.

This round loses a few points due to stealing two super recent TAR US tasks (Bollywood dancing from the end of TAR 20 which just aired and the feces patties from TAR 18’s India visit) as well as having another subjective dancing challenge. All of the teams were all stuck on the same flight and then the day was halted due to an Hours of Operation sign at the Turban Well.

James & Sarah got into the first of many fights this season as they fought for TWO DAYS over a bottle of soda. Sarah was once again ill-equipped for the conditions in India but made it through.

Lucy & Emilia instantly became legendary underdogs as of this episode as they were last to the mat yet again but were also miraculously saved yet again due to the two biggest recruits of the season getting ousted from a penalty.

The Bollywood acting scene made me chuckle. Sadly TAR Canada will run script challenges into the ground, but here it was refreshing and new.

Sticky & Sam going from defeat at a Detour task to somehow winning this leg amongst eleven teams was a big story for this episode, and begins Sticky & Sam’s path of being the biggest threats of the season.

Once again the biggest strength of this season is the array of characters and how fun they are to all watch. That’s not something said often after about TAR 12 or 13.

6) Dubai, UAE -> Istanbul, Turkey

The two Turkey legs are at the bottom of my rankings. However, the gap between the first Turkey leg and the second is quite a massive gap.

I don’t like how the U-Turn was rendered pointless since everyone was shoved onto the same flight.

I didn’t like how you could only check the Hagia Sophia twice. I know the Hagia Sophia is very difficult to keep private for a TV show for more than a couple hours and why this leg had such a restricted time window, but I wish they allowed for a team to check a third time after a two hour gap or something.

Seeing Ross & Tarryn go from being the best on Opening Day to now being a team who quit in leg five is quite the tragic fall. I think a combination of a very long leg in Dubai, a short pit stop, and then the lime counting challenge before being stuck in the Basilica Cistern depleted Ross of his motivation to be competitive. Taking the four hour penalty in the Cistern was the equivalent of forfeiting the race. The -only- reason there was to taking the four hour penalty is if he assumed it would be a NEL. I mean, it was a NEL, but we’ll soon find out it is an extremely misleading NEL.

This leg revolved a lot around drama. It sets up Paul as the biggest character of the season as he has everyone except James & Sarah and Lucy & Emilia on his Shit List. The scene where Grace teases him about the clue in front of all of the other teams is one of the most mean-spirited scenes I have seen in all of TAR. Some have argued that Grace becomes the villain of the season here and not Paul. I can’t help but agree. The drama gets taken to the next level when Paul’s laser focus leads to him accidentally bowling over Grace. It is not taken well by a group who is mostly Pro-Grace. If Paul wasn’t isolated before, he certainly was after this episode with one exception.

Also, Lucy & Emilia’s neverending perseverance and determination to complete every leg saved them for the fourth leg in a row. It goes to show you how far you can go into the race if you refuse to break the rules nor quit a task.

And yes, we get one of the rare night legs in the TAR catalogue. They are not common anymore.

7) Havana, Cuba -> Laguna del Tesoro, Cuba

There is no excuse to not air a Must-Vote U-Turn and an Express Pass when it is critical to how an episode plays out. What the hell, editors? I would’ve ranked this leg higher otherwise. This is inexcusable.

I guess teams needed to be given nicer cars for the long drive this leg. Producers didn’t want teams to break down in the middle of nowhere.

The Roadblock was poorly designed. Why should there be a time limit? Why did it turn into a game of randomly guessing boats or a follow the leader scenario? It just wasn’t well-thought out.

I enjoyed the Detour as the Che image is VERY popular in Havana. I like how we had a couple of Hemingway references too although perhaps it went a bit too overboard.

The Australia connection was neat but the crocodile task was meh. This is the final task in Cuba we were likely ever going to see on The Amazing Race worldwide and it should’ve been much more epic. I would’ve rather seen a Cuban cigar factory.

I like how we did get out of Havana. Although something on the Malecon or the giant Jesus statue in Regala would’ve been neat to see on TV.

The leg ended with a major confrontation between Joseph & Grace and James & Sarah. That was the big storyline heading into the next round.

Paul & Steve are one step closer to history and they along with Michelle & Jo continue to stay near the top of the leaderboard for a very long time.

Trying to manufacture a showdown that wasn’t fooling anyone in the audience except for idiots basically was pointless at the end of the episode. That was a waste of precious airtime.

Overall, the second Cuba leg just has too many flaws with it to be ranked any higher.

8) Istanbul, Turkey -> Istanbul, Turkey

The wrestling task was too quick and dangerous.

The spinning task was way too subjective and had very little criteria for achieving the challenge.

The Intersection being placed right before the final task on a leg where a team is Marked for Elimination guaranteed that team would go home.

The Detour was the only task that mattered this whole episode, and it was overall quite unbalanced.

It is by far the worst episode of the season. Thankfully we can make the argument it is the -only- bad episode of the whole season, and that is not a statement I make too often about TAR over the past ten years.

Oh yes, and Paul & Steve were able to use the Yield but it was rendered useless as they had to wait for Michelle & Jo at the Yield regardless. Being uppercutted was worse than the Yield for the twins, I believe.

Team Averages
—

Below is a list of all teams from seasons I have blogged to date, ranked by racing average.

e.g. Don & Mary Jean finished 9th, 8th, 8th, 8th, and 8th. Add up the numbers and divide it by the number of legs they have played.

Therefore their average is 8.2.

Because of how long this list has become, I only show the relevant section where the eliminated team from this episode has fallen amongst the ranks of what TAR history has to offer.

2nd Herb & Nate a.k.a. Flight Time & Big Easy 3.75 U-Turned and Used U-Turn TAR 18
4th Diane & Ann 3.75 – Yielded TAR Asia 2
4th Jon & Al 3.73 TAR 4
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71 TAR 5

— B+ —

3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF, saved by NEL once TAR 2
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF TAR 4
5th Kynt & Vyxsin 3.63 Used Yield, saved by NEL once TAR 12
7th Sticky & Sam 3.625 Must Vote U-Turned and Used Express Pass TAR Australia 2
1st Eric & Danielle All Stars 3.62 – Yielded Twice, saved by NEL once TAR 11
2nd Jeremy & Sandy 3.58 TAR 19
4th Mardy & Marsio 3.58 FF, saved by NEL once TAR Asia 1
6th Mel & Mike 3.57 TAR 14
5th Ethan & Khairie 3.56 TAR Asia 4
6th Jonathan & Victoria 3.56 TAR 6
3rd Ida & Tania 3.54 Saved by NEL twice TAR Asia 3
4th Joseph & Monica 3.50 – Yielded TAR 9
3rd Andrew & Syeon 3.46 TAR Asia 1
1st Freddy & Kendra 3.46 – Used Yield and Yielded TAR 6
2nd Ronald & Christina 3.45 TAR 12
4th Zev & Justin 3.45 TAR 18
3rd Brendon & Rachel 3.42 U-Turned and Used U-Turn TAR 20