Amazing Race Canada 6 Funniest Complaints Blog Episodes 1 to 3 Edition

Y’all didn’t think I would abandon you, did ya?

canada 6 complaints 2 10

You have to pay 55k for that to happen, though. That’s the price. Maybe 57k now that minimum wage has gone up.

big nickel

And that ad spot for Privateer’s Day will be worth every nickel.

canada 6 complaints 2 11

Because who the fuck watches CTV? Seriously. TAR Canada, FIFA World Cup, and the Olympics are the only three times I ever tune into CTV.

canada 6 complaints 2 12

a) You’ve had over five fucking years to catch on to TAR Canada’s scheduling pattern!

b) I don’t know if the slogan “Canadian Navy: We Actually Do Stuff” is something that would catch on. #Yeh #TheyActuallyDoStuff #TheyWorkHard #TheyPlayHard

canada 6 complaints 2 13

Does anyone else picture Tom Baker’s basement as being filled with any product that has sponsoured TAR Canada? Like, who wants to go out on a limb and guess their cupboards are filled with Campbell’s Soup? They have that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

campbells

Just don’t invite a snowman over for a meal at Baker’s house.canada 6 complaints 2 15

No, it was actually a genuine mistake on Monty’s part. You guys just don’t know how to talk back east. It’s like the government decided to cut down funding on speech therapy for the region.

map of canada.jpg

If you are in any of these three provinces, funding is readily available.canada 6 complaints 2 16

trump

POLITICAL JOKE! SNIPE!canada 6 complaints 2 17

This tweet really could apply to -any- season of Canadian reality television.

monopoly chance.jpg

In fact, this is what a producer of TAR Canada looks like if they can’t find sponsours to help produce it. True story. Lysakowski’s pockets aren’t going to line themselves!

monopoly community

Also, this is Bickerton on a Tuesday morning.

canada 6 complaints 2 1

#HeroesDontComplain

canada 6 complaints 2 2

adam courtney 1.jpg

“I want all of his inches! . . .Er, centimetres. Centimetres.”

I don’t know. Do you see how much FireFighter Adam kisses Courtney? I think the inches will increase rather than decrease! Either that or he isn’t as into Courtney as we thought.

canada 6 complaints 2 3

Hey, it’s much better that Adam & Courtney are the ones kissing each other and shouting “I love you!” on-screen rather than Taylor & Courtney.

adam courtney

That whole incest storyline may or may not be terribly heroic for the audience.

canada 6 complaints 2 18

But then I am out of a fake job, Karin. You only think about yourself. That’s not a hero. No wonder you weren’t cast for this season. I’m the only hero you selfish pricks.canada 6 complaints 2 4

I also claim that a task was fixed when a team I like gets eliminated and a team I don’t like from the start happens to win the leg. It’s one of my favourite past times other than 90s baseball or the movie Space Jam.

canada 6 complaints 2 19

NO! I WAS PICKED FIRST EVERY TIME FOR VOLLEYBALL, MOTHERFUCKER!

volleyball spike

CAUSE IN HIGH SCHOOL I ALWAYS SPIKED THAT SHIT! LIKE A DRINK AT A PARTY!

LIKE A DRINK AT A PARTY!

IN HIGH SCHOOL I ALWAYS SPIKED THAT SHIT!

LIKE A DRINK AT A PARTY! LIKE A DRINK AT A PARTY!

I GET PICKED FIRST CAUSE I SPIKE THAT SHIT!

CAUSE I SPIKE THAT SHIT!

SPIKE THAT BALL!

SPIKE THAT DRINK!

YOU HANG AROUND ME YOU’LL BE HAVING FUN LONG TIME!

ME SPIKE YOU LONG TIME!

Sorry. I got too caught up like Usher.

canada 6 complaints 2 5

Derek Boyer watches The Amazing Race Canada?!

derek boyer.jpg

I guess his glory days of being a top athlete are over.

.

.

.

Oh, it said Byer. And we have had NELs on the first leg. TAR Asia loves doing that.

rei keiji

Well, most of the time.

canada 6 complaints 2 20

Which season of Big Brother? Tread carefully.

canada 6 complaints 2 6

No one likes you, BC Ferries. It’s cheaper for people to fly from Vancouver to Victoria round trip then get on one of your price-gauging ships. Just own it, man.

canada 6 complaints 2 21

It’s called marketing. I am sure half of the cast are assholes if you meet them in real life. . .except for Adam. He’ll just tell you he loves you and try to kiss all of us. Even Wayne Arthurson.

canada 6 complaints 2 7

courtney taylor

To be fair, any video content involving Taylor & Courtney -is- a porno.

canada 6 complaints 2 22

Which heroic women would you prefer?

wonder woman

Wonder Woman? Cause news flash she ain’t real.

xena warrior princess.jpg

Xena Warrior Princess -is- real, though! Too bad Lucy Lawless is a Kiwi and is therefore ineligible in The Amazing Race Canada.

canada 6 complaints 2 8

Dude. It has been one episode. I am sure you will be wanting ninth, eighth, and seventh place teams to be brought back for a non-existent All Star season.

canada 6 complaints 2 23

kelsey

Well, that’s already one person more than who was rooting for Kelsey during BB Can 4.

canada 6 complaints 2 9

I know I have been ignoring it this week in contrast to last week, but is anyone else amazed that everyone spells heroes as either heros or hero’s? I teach ESL to very young kids in Asia and they can spell heroes with relative ease. Why can’t Anglophones who have lived their whole lives within Canada’s borders do the same? The Canadian education system needs to be revamped, apparently.

canada 6 complaints 2 24

Yeah, it’s a terrible thing when somebody has a personality.

gino jesse canada

Let’s just hire twenty robots/VoldeMussolinis on a season and watch it all play out.

canada 6 complaints 2 25

joseph akash

To be fair, I think Joseph & Akash donated their enthusiasm for the race at a very young age.

canada 6 complaints 2 26

OK, that’s just funny.

canada 6 complaints 2 27

vietnam poker 2

If poker players can be elite athletes, then anyone can be an athlete. So why the hell not a barrel racer?

canada 6 complaints 2 28

Neat.

canada 6 complaints 2 29

I wholeheartedly agree. TAR Asia and TAR US have both ditched the Pointless Express Pass.

perth sam renae 73

Only team it has ever saved is this team. Good job, Bubbuh!

canada 6 complaints 2 30

H-E-R-O-E-S

todd anna

And yeah, I haven’t watched the season, but good on Todd & Anna for winning leg two before being eliminated in a hilarious fashion. We will soon get to the audience outrage in the next installment of Funniest Complaints, and it’ll be glorious.

canada 6 complaints 2 31

Oh, there was public outcry with Steph & Kristen and Sam & Paul. It’s good to know there is equality in the world where all PDA regardless of sexual orientation is hated equally.

canada 6 complaints 2 32

Yes, you’re friends with a temporary reality TV star. Who the hell cares.canada 6 complaints 2 33

elaine benes

They’re not going to be so heroic when we all get rabies from the puppy dog attack. Elaine Benes from Seinfeld will not be a fan.

canada 6 complaints 2 34

a) How do you determine if somebody truly deserves to be saved by a NEL?

b) How can we eliminate NELs if there are ten teams but eleven episodes?

c) Refer to a) and b)

canada 6 complaints 2 35

PO = Pissed Off? Do you realize it takes us longer to figure out what PO means then if you had taken the extra 1.2 seconds to type it?

canada 6 complaints 2 36

bill cosby

I never thought I would see a #MeToo moment in the comments section of The Amazing Race Canada. I really don’t want to see all-male teams suddenly dominate the all-female teams for the sake of restoring good ol’ patriarchy.

canada 6 complaints 2 37

My aunt hates Jon because of his “sing-songy” voice. Not everyone loves the guy.

canada 6 complaints 2 38

Amanda Amanda?? Who the hell is that?

milli vanilli

The sequel to Milli Vanilli?

canada 6 complaints 2 39

Indeed.

canada 6 complaints 2 40

Dare I say Double Speeeeeed Bump?

canada 6 complaints 2 41

a) Express Passes cannot be used at any point in the race. They typically expire by leg six or seven nowadays.

29 fun

Even earlier if you’re these guys.

b) Express Passes never impact the race

c) It does not give you a major advantage

Nice try, though.

canada 6 complaints 2 42

Most people are.

blackjack.jpg

#HeroesDontGamble

canada 6 complaints 2 43

mariah carey obsessed.jpg

“Why are you so obsessed with me?”

canada 6 complaints 2 44

You mean piece of–oh dammit. Kurt beat me to the punch. Shut your piehole, Kurt. Leave the jokes to me.

canada 6 complaints 2 45

joey tim

They should not watch TAR 30.

canada 6 complaints 2 46

But food challenges when people gorge themselves beyond belief makes for TAR’s greatest highlights.

asia-5-alex-will

Just think of how many times Alex & Will trying to eat the rice balls in Asia 5 has made me laugh over the past two years. I didn’t know it was possible to vomit that much!

canada 6 complaints 2 47

Who knew the Baker would be the guy making pie puns.

julie lowell

“When you’re on The Amazing Race Canada, gotta keep your EYES on the PIES!”

Ohohohoho. Thanks, Lowell.

canada 6 complaints 2 48

You had a Fast Forward?

norway fast forward

Those are rare to come by nowadays.

canada 6 complaints 2 49

DON’T BE SO SERIOUS, VIRGINIA! I WAS ONLY ACCUSING THE CITY OF VANCOUVER FOR BRIBING THE SHOW TO VISIT THERE REPEATEDLY WHILE IGNORING THE REST OF CANADA! CHILL, VIRGY!

canada 6 complaints 2 50

sabrina big brother canada.jpg

“You want good TV?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! GOOD TV?!”canada 6 complaints 2 51

Puking is the best medicine. . .wait, that’s not right.

canada 6 complaints 2 52

We’re seriously dissing a pie eating task because the fruit they chose wasn’t the most relevant to the area they were in? That’s the issue? Not the thousands of calories being shoved down their pieholes?

canada 6 complaints 2 53

We would love to Natalie, but the law states that we must always separate Church from Race.

canada 6 complaints 2 54

What about Asian men like Alex & Will with the rice balls? Can they dry heave instead? Or is that forbidden for all Asian people? Courtney & Adam, yeah, they can dry heave but as soon as we get Asians into the mix then it’s no bueno. No dry heaving for Asians!

joseph akash

Does that apply to Akash too or is he not “Asian enough”?

monica zainab.jpg

What about Zainab? That sounds like a name you would find in West Asia. But is West Asia not Asia Asia?

See how ridiculous I sound? That’s how ridiculous you sound with not wanting the Asian woman to dry heave.

canada 6 complaints 2 55

Poor John Stanton. He gave a proper explanation as to why the pie eating was a safe and culturally relevant challenge but nobody gave a damn.

jully black

And I never thought I would see the day where Julie Black would chime in on her commentary of Amazing Race Canada. It really is Canada’s number one show! Eating all of that pie would really activate the sweat of her brow!

canada 6 complaints 2 56

cleveland brown

It’s like an anti-LGBT Cleveland Brown chant.

canada 6 complaints 2 57canada 6 complaints 2 58

Another example of when terrible behaviour when evidence supplied by reputable people is not accepted. Sometimes Reddit loves to defy logic. Oh well. I tried.

canada 6 complaints 2 59

henderson.jpg

Team number what? Team number WHAT?! TELL ME! WHAT TEAM NUMBER WERE THEY?! *Grabs social media uploader by the scruff of their neck* WHY WON’T YOU GIVE ME THE INFORMATION I NEED!canada 6 complaints 2 60

poutine.jpg

Would a gluttonous poutine eating challenge be preferred instead?

And c’mon, it’s season ten clearly playing.

canada 6 complaints 2 61

Nope. No time for that!

imodium

Imodium should’ve been a sponsour for this season!

canada 6 complaints 2 62canada 6 complaints 2 63

I am glad you got to see the interior of a casino in Dawson City, Marie. So rich in history.

canada 6 complaints 2 64

Man, it sounds like talking to Pierre-Louis Parant when he threatened to sue TAR Canada because Ope nearly drowned during the Kayak Hockey Double Battle.

pierre louis parant

Oh, I miss the guy who threatened to sue for “millions of dollards”.

canada 6 complaints 2 65

TARC needs more s’more sponsours to pay for their content.canada 6 complaints 2 66

OK, this is just getting ridiculous.canada 6 complaints 2 67

kate moss

Actually, in 2000 you were considered attractive if you always made yourself throw up after every meal. Physical ideals have changed over time, thankfully.

canada 6 complaints 2 68

montgomery.jpg

“Happy & Chewy, Joseph & Akash. . .why don’t we just eliminate all of you guys right now? You guys are clearly shit at the race and, Joseph & Akash, like, you might beat Monica & Zainab, but do you guys REALLY stand a chance? You should’ve volunteered more hours into preparing for the race than volunteering for the homeless. All four of are fucking useless at the race, and I’m sorry to tell me that I cast you guys on this season.”

canada 6 complaints 2 69

Is this complaint from TAR Canada 3?

canada 6 complaints 2 70

Lynda and Morgan should go out for coffee sometime.

bird is the word

In this blog, the bird is the word.

canada 6 complaints 2 71

At least I knew not to waste my time watching it sans international legs. Don’t you feel like a chump?

canada 6 complaints 2 72

Maja may be the most annoying casual fan I have ever read online. At least Brent knew just to ignore her.

canada 6 complaints 2 73

Are you disappointed? Really?

canada 6 complaints 2 74

It’s a drag?

rupaul

I think Bickerton has an idea for a theme for season seven! Goodbye Heroes; Hello Drag!

canada 6 complaints 2 75

Today I learned a new word: A word I may or may not share with my ESL students.

canada 6 complaints 2 76

We go from drag queens to fairy doors in the span of two posts.

mother 3 fairy.jpg

I am amazed during the fairy door task that we never ran into Ionia from Mother 3, sadly.

canada 6 complaints 2 77

Swing and a miss.canada 6 complaints 2 78

This may not be the franchise for Christopher.canada 6 complaints 2 80

Nancy has a ranch retreat? What is this? The FLDS in Bountiful? Does anyone get to -leave- the ranch?

nancy mellisa 1.jpg

Watch out, Mellisa! Nancy is suckering you in for one of her ranch retreats in the middle of nowhere! She’ll want to make one of her tapes with you! And I know you won’t be able to escape because of your bad achilles heel! That electric barbed wire fence isn’t going to lower itself! And good luck with finding anything beyond your half a cup ration of rice and beans accompanied by two cups of water on the grounds each day!

Well. I’ve been doing Funniest Complaints for TAR Canada for four years now. Despite only watching the Indonesia episode, the context of the ridiculousness of the complaints does not escape me.

SI shall forever giggle from the sidelines.

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5 Responses to Amazing Race Canada 6 Funniest Complaints Blog Episodes 1 to 3 Edition

  1. Ekmal Sukarno says:

    Logan, when are you gonna start making a blog on TAR 20 Episode 4? We have been waiting for months.

  2. Jimmy White says:

    Are you going to do any Funniest Complaints blogs for other episodes of TAR Canada 6?

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