You know what’s coming. The TARcopalypse hit us the second Cody & Jessica crosses the finish line, and social media punched all of us square in the proverbial jaw for nearly a week straight. I watched it all go down.
For all you know she could be watching the wrong TAR finale. An Eric has already choked before at the final task.
“Ah. Toni. My intern.”
Trust me. Keep reading, Ez. BB fans aren’t going to be more silent. It will become clear very very quickly.
Nobody has triggered more outrage in the American public since Jesus.
“I blame my ex-wife for the outcry.”
By the way, what headline are you referring to?
Oh. That one. The Facebook admin couldn’t help but acknowledge what’s going on in the comments section.
Logan & Sara. They had a great time together going out for dinner.
Citi. . .Citi. . .Citi what?
The fix is in. It’s like TAR 30 is the 1919 Black Sox of reality TV.
Jet ditched Gary at that Roadblock.
But that’s none of my business.
Of course, those who didn’t like Cody’s victory is pounced upon by the hardcore military community. Let’s read below.
. . .That was an overreaction.
Alright. Now it’s time to talk about Henry & Evan.
How long did it take for you to come up with that one?
It wouldn’t surprise me.
But first, let’s talk about somebody who will inevitably be on TAR 31. The Ice Man cometh!
You already planted that seed, Toni. If the wedding gets televised, it’s on you, Toni.
“It’s on you, Toni!”
Last Comic Standing. Get Cody rolling when it comes to the LGBT community and Ferguson and you’ll have a belly full of laughs.
Maybe we should all stop watching TV in general. . .but I’ll keep that to myself.
It really is the silver lining to all of this.
Brenda’s spelling is perfect. That is my personal believe.
I do not have skanky photos of Lucas & Brittany and Kristi & Jen, therefore any remarks I make about these two teams will not be questioned.
But I do have skanky photos of April & Sarah. They may or may not have shown their ankles in a couple of Mormon magazines.
Devin didn’t read a word atllauren said.
Which I think is the primary point being made by the online community.
It’s like the reaction to Freddy & Kendra’s win but in the social media age. . .if Freddy & Kendra also didn’t have a pre-existing fanbase.
Now let’s once again bring up Jessica’s lack of participation in the race.
Bikinigirl_ is not much for a two-way discussion.
“I want you to justify your thinking.”
“Stop questioning me! GET LOST!”
It’s like Teri & Ian prior to the Vietnam leg. “I am the pilot and when I say we fly, we fly.”
I. . .I think Bikinigirl_ is the one clearly trolling here.
“You’re the troll!”
A pillow face bitch?
That’s a rude thing to say about Billy Dee Williams. 😦
Maybe Kristi looks down on everyone because her back is hunched over from all of the back pain she experienced while skiing.
Some people just misinterpret physical gestures.
That would actually be a great idea. Pluck twelve teams of two from two different juries and throw them onto TAR. The team hashtags would be relatively easy.
Ah. Reddit has gone back to being sane and rational again.
Evan is on the spectrum???? This hunch is based on what, exactly????? Where did that appear in the edit? Just because of her diverse vocabulary.
Female viewers tend to be the ones who disliked Evan this season.
And I like Paris from Gilmore Girls. This comparison is not turning me away.
Bikinigirl_ has redeemed herself.
Furthermore, I don’t think Alex & Conor are locks to return. In fact, I will be stunned if they come back at all. Both of them seem to be over and done with the experience. Especially Conor. Dude was upset to lose his job upon returning to the US. Not even the fact he was not too fond of having animals put on his nips.
Yeah, get in a sailboat.
Worst Case Scenario: Henry dies.
Best Case Scenario: Evan chips another tooth.
No one wins.
Slow down, y’all.
We still have a full season of TAR Canada to ignore.
Oh, shut the hell up about returnee seasons already.
I mean, look at the last two returnee TAR seasons. One was saved by a perfect boot order and another went down as the worst season ever.
Now Justin goes to war with the #JodyArmy. . .or rather they go to war with him.
We’ve only just begun.
Even when their favourite team has won, they still waste their time on Twitter going after Justin. Lovely.
I don’t think they know Justin at all. Granted I am not surprised from someone whose handle is “CarrieUndersexy”.
“Jesus take the wheel!”
“That’s what my ex-wife said.”
By the way, is anyone stunned that Carrie Underwood is still relevant? Like. . .isn’t she the American Nickelback?
Eric jumps in hoping to spread rationality. . .but to no avail. He’ll continue trying, though.
. . .Justin is at the hub of the contemporary TAR alumni community. Like, for real. Cody & Jessica aren’t the only two people who don’t respect him.
I think those question marks were meant to be exclamation marks, but I’ll let that one go.
Super Smash Bros. gets it.
I can guarantee you if Cody & Jessica had won seven legs but choke in the final round, the argument from the #JodyArmy would switch.
Jessica may not be the worst contestant, but I think we have a strong contender for who has the worst fans on social media.
Rovilson’s fanbase from TAR Asia 2 has officially been dethroned.
They’re. . .they’re not even listening now. Unless it’s listening to disagree.
“IT WAS MAGIC!”
“THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC!”
And the delusion continues.
Cody & Jessica don’t want to extend their fame?
Wait, what the hell is this?
P.S. Those who diss somebody based on their ‘likes’ for a tweet isn’t being too cool, bro.
The sky is blue. In fact, that’s gonna be my automatic response whenever somebody tweets me or messages me on social media. Because they don’t want a discussion whatsoever.
The sky remains blue.
NOTE TO SELF: Only trust the North.
However, it’ll be tough to ignore the South in every situation. North Dakota should’ve hired their own sculptor for anybody to care about their state.
Ez has been wanting to drop bombs in general this week, regardless of their level of truthfulness.
I personally prefer #BenBombs.
And I think there is a certain silver lining when the “villainous” crossover team wins at the end rather than has its comeuppance. It is part of the extreme reactions to the ending of this season.
But Ez won’t be keen in hearing about that.
And why is a woman having fake breasts constantly an insult? I mean, fake breasts are weird to the touch and are an odd thing to motorboat, but that isn’t reflective of the woman who beholds them.
e.g. Tracy from Survivor: Micronesia. Possesses fake breasts but is a wonderful individual.
So let’s not use anatomy to dictate how we view a person’s personality.
They were already halfway to selling TAR out in TAR 24. You just hadn’t noticed.
For some reason, the winner of BB Canada 2 responds to the TAR 30 ending and Justin. This should be fun.
What’s a terrbible?
A bible that has been sloppily copied by a seven year old? Who is Nouh and the Arch, Timmy!
Well, one particular fellow in RFF from Paraguay is a bit more hostile than others, from what I have been told. And Justin wasn’t even highly praised in RFF. Wait, the sky is blue. I went off-script.
OK. I don’t like Rachel Ray and her EVO bullshit, but she’s still a big name.
If only this was the EVO that Rachel Ray was constantly praising.
As opposed to this.
Alright now let’s talk about memorable TAR finales in general. Specifically, season seven.
“I need my ulcer cleaned.”
AH! He was the guy from Unfinished Business! It all makes sense!
And that’s it! This season of Funniest Complaints is over! I hope this entertained you and was your moment of zen each week.
Now I’ll go back to my TARstorian project and wait for this goddamn snow to melt.