The Amazing Race 30 Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Week Five Edition

A twenty second incident in the episode occupies ninety percent of the complaints, casuals resort to extreme nicknames for some of the racers, and a couple of casuals REALLY like Henry & Evan. Some would say they like Henry & Evan too much.

Let’s begin.

julie chen

But first!

I co-host a podcast about The Amazing Race each week for RTV Warriors. Our podcast discussing the Prague leg was uploaded yesterday. Feel free to listen to it!

30 complaints ep 5 1

. . .You’re part of the problem, Mr. Hotel. This is the first comment you have made that hasn’t been obsessive about Dave & Connor in months and months.

30 complaints ep 5 2

They suppress their real feelings for each other, Christina? What are you expecting? For them to start having sex on-screen or start making out? I have a feeling the general audience of TAR likes TAR because it is one of few ‘family’ shows that airs on primetime TV.

For some reason, I don’t think Henry & Even’s ‘true feelings’ will ever be exposed.

And what in the world does Henry & Evan’s actions have to do with political correctness?! They haven’t been using euphemisms for mildly offensive terms all season. In fact, all of their confessionals are fairly vanilla.

Maybe Christina wanted Evan to shout “I LOST MY FUCKING TOOTH!” during the last Roadblock, but it never came to be.

Lastly, women who wear nose rings just aren’t proper ladies.

dennis rodman

Only Dennis Rodman gets away with it.

P.S. Bossy has to be the most coded sexist term I have ever seen.

kelis

Only Kelis gets away with it.

30 complaints ep 5 3

As a guy who doesn’t like beer and is more of an alcopop/vodka/Corona/no European or American or Canadian beers type of person, I would have a tough time suppressing my nausea.

I mean, it’s a beer bath. Just take a minute to comprehend what that smells like.

30 complaints ep 5 4

For somebody who just got engaged less than 24 hours earlier and was prompted by producers to talk about it in her confessional, I am fairly certain that it was only mentioned a couple of times.

And what are we taking a shot of? A beer from the beer bath? Because that drinking game may get a little hairy. Actually, very hairy.

ralph kiser

“Can I jump into the beer bath?”

Oh my. There’ll be more hair than liquid in that cup.

30 complaints ep 5 5

kristi jen

It’s like one of them is Czech or something.

30 complaints ep 5 6

bangkok liz marie canavan 40

“Literally?!”

30 complaints ep 5 7

In other news, Sharon doesn’t know that when you click ‘Reply’ to a comment on a fan page, it automatically fills in the person’s name in the comment. It ain’t personal, Sharon. Marc just didn’t bother hitting backspace on his keyboard.

30 complaints ep 5 8

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 44

Somebody didn’t watch TAR 19.

Moving on. . .Lucas & Brittany are criticized for waiting nine years to be engaged. Let’s see where the discussion heads this week.

30 complaints ep 5 9

Bitchney? Bitchney? Bitchney?!

keith whitney

Suddenly Cheatney doesn’t seem like such a bad nickname!

Why is it an issue for people when a random couple waits a while to be engaged or get married?

luke lorelai

It took Luke and Lorelai over a decade to get married, and no one gave two shits about that! Why is it suddenly an issue with a couple on The Amazing Race!

And why is it a four year old tactic for somebody to ask their partner to look at them in a moment of distress? Especially when they want the other partner to listen? It, uh, happens more frequently than you think.

30 complaints ep 5 10

Suzannah is going for the ~world record~ for the highest number of uses of the ~tilde~ function on a keyboard.

lucas brittany

Perhaps because it mimics the ~ocean waves~ from which Lucas & Brittany emerged from the womb.

30 complaints ep 5 11

Poor Chris & Trevor. Perla didn’t even recall their participation on this season. I feel like a sad violin clip should be inserted here.

30 complaints ep 5 12

Either the post on The Amazing Race page became an ad which crept into Steven’s news feed, or he really tried to troll.

30 complaints ep 5 13

I don’t know why suck was a separate command.

jeff jackie

It’s like a Jeff & Jackie joke waiting to happen. I’ll let Michael Harmstone take care of it next week.

30 complaints ep 5 66

Who created this thread on Reddit?

bob airplanes

B.o.B?

30 complaints ep 5 67

This is. . .a reasonably complaint as a whole. TAR has definitely gone into gimmicks starting TAR 26 and running away with that theme for the year. The Cody & Jessica may be a bit extreme, but this is the most reasonable complaint I have seen in a while.

Kudos, Jake.

30 complaints ep 5 68

Cody has said some pretty disturbing things, but I think you are leaving out the part where the gay team was the only team behind him. By default, the gays had to be U-Turned.

alex conor

If Alex & Conor and Chris & Trevor’s positions were swapped, I am sure Alex & Conor would be U-Turned anyway. Especially Conor. Who likes Conor, really? Even Phil teases him endlessly.

30 complaints ep 5 69

well strung

As much as Chris & Trevor were in the CBS bios at the start of the season.

But seriously, let’s tackle this. Are Kristi & Jen lovers?

x games

They met through the X Games.

x gamesx gamesx games

And Bryan can’t wait for Kristi & Jen at the thirtieth X Games. Eight years and Bryan will get his wish!

I think 50 Cent even rapped about Kristi & Jen as a lesbian couple.

50 cent in da club

You can find ’em in the Czech Repub,

Baths full of bub,

They’re into the X Games with ski pants that are awful snug,

They’re into having sex, ain’t into making love,

They give each other hugs when they’re into getting rubbed.

However, Kristi & Jen aren’t officially lesbians YET. They are both married and/or dating dudes as far as I know. Things could change with this week’s episode, though.

30 phil keoghan.jpg

Remember how Phil teased that there was going to be a Partner Swap?

kristi jen

He wasn’t talking about the racers. He was talking about Kristi & Jen and their partners back home.

mugabe law

Granted Zimbabwe may not be the best location for this twist.

Alright. This is getting too ridiculous. I am moving on.

30 complaints ep 5 14

Oh. Right back to Big Brother 19 references. Wonderful.

30 complaints ep 5 15

The person lecturing about slander just referred to Brittany as “Bitchney”. I just felt the need to point that out.

30 complaints ep 5 16

The admin of the official TAR Facebook page actually talks?!

30 complaints ep 5 17

I actually want to see Brittany and Jess partner up. However, something tells me it would just be awkwardly silent for most of the day and would temporarily put aside their differences.

akuma

It’s like that episode of Street Fighter: The Animated Series when Guile and M. Bison have to stop going after each other because they share a mutual goal of fending off Akuma who is a greater threat to both of them because he wants their chi.

Jessica and Brittany would have to team up to overcome the mutual threat of elimination from TAR.

30 complaints ep 5 18

TAR is really trying to hype up next week. My goodness.

 

30 complaints ep 5 19

Suzannah is really in lecture mode today. I am going to essentially repeat what Suzannah said but in a more polite way.

Sharon, you do lie. You lie a lot.

lie.jpg

In fact Sharon, you are lying right now.

Stephanie has no guile and is too honest. This blog might not be ideal for her.

guile 1.jpg

Because this blog has always been full of Guiles. Including a bunch o’ Guiles is probably one of this blog’s Ten Commandments.

The argument over lying continues down below.

30 complaints ep 5 20

I know one thing that lying would make you a better person at.

the mole

And also. . .

survivor h

That.

30 complaints ep 5 21

Anytime people disagree on their favourite team, the word ‘hater’ has a tendency to emerge.

If I go to the Facebook page The Amazing Ice Cream Flavours and say I am disappointed that so many people like vanilla, I assume someone would call me a hater.

30 complaints ep 5 22

bangkok liz marie canavan 42

“Literally!”

Last time I checked, lifeguards typically don’t use a sailboat to rescue those stranded in the water.

wanda moscow 1

Perhaps Suzannah would prefer being saved by Wanda when she is drowning. Let me know how that works out for ya!

30 complaints ep 5 23

Chris & Trevor barely received any airtime. What did they ever do to you?!

30 complaints ep 5 24

Ah yes. The ongoing practice of inventing new penalties from week to week.

japan garrett jessica 3

What’s next? Garrett & Jessica are assessed a thirty minute penalty for Jessica’s fiery personality?

30 complaints ep 5 25

Here’s the thing: Jessica did have no obligation to tell the truth to everyone and give them the answers before she submitted her own. HOWEVER. . .it is a really shitty social move on The Amazing Race. Nobody ever wins The Amazing Race without coalitions, alliances, and being semi-liked by the other teams.

Going out of your way to piss off multiple teams when you know Chris & Trevor are really far behind makes no sense.

But I’m sure Suzannah isn’t going to see it that way.

In the next comment, teams react to the teased Partner Swap. This will be fun.

30 complaints ep 5 26

lijiang margie luke adams 9

What season did I miss?! Margie & Luke have actually played four times and I missed one????

30 complaints ep 5 27

We think Brittany is a little witch because of the way she left her nome behind?

alaska.jpg

What does Alaska have to do with this?!

30 complaints ep 5 28

Oh right. We’re in the TAR Canada mindset where every team wants to “set an example” and be “role models” for various demographics.

canada 5.jpg

Ugh. I hate this part of TAR Canada. Season five was one of my worst reality TV viewing experiences ever.

30 complaints ep 5 29

Patrick managed to simultaneously brag about being in the military, insult someone who is crazy, and attack somebody else’s politics all in one paragraph. I don’t know how to feel about this guy. It is such a mixed bag of “you go girl” and me repeatedly cringing.

final fantasy viii.jpg

And his lower back is essentially the Final Fantasy VIII of the PlayStation world.

30 complaints ep 5 30

Yeah! How dare she talk about being engaged or editors choose to air this footage when it has been less than twelve hours since it happened and has no family members to talk about it as of yet!!!

Jesus Christ.

30 complaints ep 5 31

Dipshite sounds like a British person trying to say ‘dipshit’.

And Danny thinks a team using a U-Turn has shown their weakness?

liechtenstein jet cord mccoy 4

I think his favourite team ever who has been U-Turned out of the race two out of three times may disagree that using the U-Turn is a weakness.

30 complaints ep 5 32

Suzannah is trying really really hard to have the Bitchney nickname catch on, but it’s not working. If only she was a bitt briter with her taccticcs.

30 complaints ep 5 33

The teams ganged up on Jet & Cord in TAR 18?

jet.jpg

Casual fans tend to have a selective memory of the Liechtenstein Roadblock.

30 complaints ep 5 34

ratings.jpg

Yeah. Those ratings are awfully low.

30 complaints ep 5 35

Don’t even get me started on the crossover extravaganza for Celebrity Big Brother US. I posted about it a couple weeks ago, but it is hilarious. Thank goodness I don’t watch celebrity versions of various competitive reality shows.

30 complaints ep 5 36

fudge

WTFudge indeed.

In all seriousness, Brittany whispered to Alex that Jess lied, talked about it in a confessional, and that has been it. I wouldn’t describe that as “craziness”.

30 complaints ep 5 37

I wonder why it’s 2 1/2 rather than three?

30 complaints ep 5 38

If only you followed the Funniest Complaints.

30 complaints ep 5 39

well strung

Team Well. . .Team Well. . .Rungs? It’ll come to me. Eventually.

30 complaints ep 5 40

If you didn’t care what anyone says, you wouldn’t be typing in all caps.

brick loud

It’s like the online equivalent of Brick Tamland.

Below Josiah has a conversation about comparing the Roadblock to the same task in TAR 15.

30 complaints ep 5 41

Everyone is either a hater or a c–t when it comes to Jessica & Cody. No neutral zones are allowed.

30 complaints ep 5 42

. . .Howard really wants to talk about BB. It seems like this season has been more of a community discussing BB19 than TAR 30.

30 complaints ep 5 43

Nasty-azz Jerks sounds like one of the titles from my next rap album!

juvenile back

Or a Juvenile song.

30 complaints ep 5 44

Rob talked people into taking the penalty at the Mendoza Roadblock in TAR 7? He had to convince a seventy year old man not to eat several pounds of meat in one sitting, and a woman with a small frame? That’s some alternate history.

The Jess & Cody conversation continues below.

30 complaints ep 5 46

There is a Cody & Jessica porno? I really need to get the TV Party App.

30 complaints ep 5 47

I think Tainted Tina is confusing “fear” with “a generally solid long term social game to help protect themselves from future U-Turns and tasks that they may find difficult”.

veronica mars.jpg

Sometimes it is great to be a marshmallow.

30 complaints ep 5 48

Remember what I said about the word bossy?

30 complaints ep 5 49

I love how much information others extrapolate about every racer’s personal life from a few minutes of footage of poor strategic maneuvering on The Amazing Race. . .that’s my job.

30 complaints ep 5 50

Wide up?

brooke robbie

Sounds more like a Robbie thing than a Jessica thing.

30 complaints ep 5 51

The workplace could get awkward quickly.

30 complaints ep 5 52

Why is butt capitalized both times?

sir mix-a-lot

I haven’t seen anybody scream about butt so much since that time I hung out with Sir Mix-A-Lot.

30 complaints ep 5 53

Twit #1 and Twit #2?

dating show.jpg

It’s like the Dating Game but with twits rather than bachelors.

30 complaints ep 5 55

woo

A Woos?

30 complaints ep 5 56

Why. Does. Every. Discussion. About. What. Team. You. Like. Result. In. Assumed. Political. Affiliation.

30 complaints ep 5 57

It’s like she has a chip on her shoulder.

evan tooth

Or on her tooth.

30 complaints ep 5 58

So we get a clip that hints at Henry being somewhat whipped in their relationship and then we get. . .this.

30 complaints ep 5 59

amber cry

I can’t argue with that.

30 complaints ep 5 60

Wow.

nas daily.jpg

Don’t let Nas Daily read that comment.

30 complaints ep 5 61

quirrell

“TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!”

30 complaints ep 5 62

I was in the same chat room for Racers Recap. . .and that is doing a pretty good job of taking what Jen said completely out of context.

And we’re really in the territory of talking about Henry & Evan using strap-ons?

30 complaints ep 5 63

Please please please don’t tell us that answer.

sweden connor jonathan 23

Something tells us that answer will be lower than how many times Connor & Jonathan have.

30 complaints ep 5 64

This is one debate I don’t really care about. Moving on. . .

30 complaints ep 5 65

Brittany is jealous of the way JESSICA looks?! I am not body shaming Jessica by any means, but. . .but I think Brittany is doing perfectly fine on her own.

30 complaints ep 5 1

From suggesting Evan uses strap-ons on Henry to referring to Brittany as a nagging bitch, TeamYale is becoming a real winner on Reddit.

30 complaints ep 5 2

I saw a proposal at the Trevi Fountain once when I was in Rome. The crowd cheered and it was a lovely moment.

Something tells me Richard isn’t into people who express PDA either.

In fact, someone like me who has had a brief history to make out with someone in public (typically in a festive atmosphere), turning around and watching a public proposal may not be such a bad alternative by comparison for Richard.

30 complaints ep 5 3

This username looks familiar. . .

30 complaints ep 5 4

Ah. How times have changed.

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1 Response to The Amazing Race 30 Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Week Five Edition

  1. “Season five was one of my worst reality TV viewing experiences ever.” (shows picture of the season 4 cast)

    Also the Trevi Fountain proposal story reminded me of when I was in Rome two summers ago. And how the fountain was closed because of a fashion event.

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