Before reading through all of the complaints, have you ever wanted to listen to my thoughts on Amazing Race in audio form? Well, I co-host a podcast where we break down each episode of Amazing Race after it airs. Whether it be the American version, Canadian version, or the Asian version.
Now, let’s take a deep breath and exhale as we let all of our silly complaints dissipate into the atmosphere above us. ‘Tis time to relax and sit back once more.
We all know how much I love it when things get meta. It took three years and nearly one hundred entries for Funniest Complaints, but we have reached a state where the complaints have become meta.
Leonardo would be proud that we are in a state of #Complaintception.
The days where people kept their own tally of how many times they were featured in this blog are clearly on hiatus. This is a place of satire so we ought to move before things become negative negative and hateful.
France doesn’t have a constitution, eh?
The word ‘constitution’ is originally French and derived from Latin. In other words, Cody doesn’t want to move to France because of something that the US was inspired by France, and by extension the Bill of Rights.
Cam may have gained respect for Cody, but I think a lot of people had their respect for Cam decreased.
I guess Henry & Evan didn’t play much Age of Empires in their childhood. Too much time spent in the classroom.
Jeremiah is starting to get into Jen? Perhaps it was during this Head-to-Head that he noticed her pétanquetonq.
That’s a helluva project for the folks who develop Virtual Reality games.
Although you just need George Lucas to recreate a task from the TAR 16 finale.
Now let’s skip ahead to the Head-to-Head discussion.
Just the fact that the one detractor used a #hashtag renders their opinion null and void.
I think Cedric wishes that is all that happened to his heart!
And why is “His” capitalized? Is Cedric suddenly God or something?
Because I am certain Morgan Freeman already has that position occupied.
Unfortunately those of us north of the border know this will not change no matter how much we beg.
Sick of hearing about Hen?
Try some Zen!
Like Jon Montgomery would ever leave Canada more than twice per year.
Actually, the casuals weren’t very receptive to April & Sarah as a team and still hated the Head-to-Head when it debuted in TAR US a couple of weeks ago. Therefore your political commentary is unfounded. Your trolling has essentially failed. Nice try, though.
“You have to dig my excessive shouting, Susan and Jessica!”
What’s funny is that bocce ball is such a weak challenge by Survivor standards that Jeff wasn’t even around to commentate it. Phil Keoghan is the first CBS host to commentate bocce ball.
We go from Cedric being God to saying he crucified himself. The religious references never stop with him.
The Finnish contingent is on Kristi & Jen’s side? That’s a pretty big fanbase to snag! Watch out Jessica & Cody, the Finnish Contingent is ready to battle your army!
That’s right. There was so many flaws with Cedric in his team.
He sabotaged his team as much as he could. No wonder he wanted to do so many Roadblocks!
It’s like bocce ball but for my mother’s ancestors who make the best pizza and have an unusual amount of chest hair!
Dissing Queen Brooke is not a good look on you.
Thanks for reminding me that we missed out on this hilarious visual.
And Big Easy thought the Znarf Roadblock was tough in Prague! He would find being in stocks to be a real bitch!
Greg brings up yet another issue with the Head-to-Head twist. I will be covering this in a future blog post.
So. Now to the main event of Wednesday’s episode–The Proposal. Lucas proposes to Brittany. Sadly it was not a stereotypical Telenovella scene, but that didn’t matter as the casuals went on the attack.
There are so many things wrong with Sam’s assumption. Let’s just pretend I take him seriously and counter his points.
- If you are with someone for nine years, chances are you have stayed with them through various weight fluctuations.
- People who are in love couldn’t give less of a damn how much they clock in on a scale. After nine years, their worst traits, habits, or greatest physical ailments “outweighs” how many pounds they are.
- Brittany rescues people who are trapped in the ocean. Even if she gains weight, she is still very fit. It’s not like she will be out of shape or winded if she gains a bit of weight.
- If Lucas dumps Brittany because of her weight, I think A LOT of friends and family will be tracking him down to kick his ass.
Even Connor & Jonathan will hit the gym and deliver a major ass whooping. Hey, if it’s 2-vs.-1, at least they stand a chance against Lucas! If it was one-on-one, well, hopefully they block their vocal chords to preserve their singing careers.
Between the five episodes total, I don’t think Lucas & Brittany have even reached fifteen minutes. Considering they have not been featured on television or on any major media outlet prior to TAR, and have no intention of extending their fame after this season airs, I don’t think their goal was to absorb as much airtime as possible.
Producers just wanted to let their beautiful and natural story be told. I think the fact that Lucas wasn’t even doing it with the intention of being an attention whore is WHY editors were letting it overtake a chunk of the fifth episode.
Don’t we already have enough TAR parodies?
The steakhouse guy? I am not seeing the resemblance.
Oh. This guy. I guess a guy who doesn’t have a mustache and is White is much more accurate.
Yeah. A woman waiting nine years for her best friend to propose is SCREAMING with desperation.
You want to see desperation? Come with me to the nightclub on Saturday night when I show off my dance moves and some of the women who throw themselves at me.
“I would run for the hills. . .”
“. . .But Miami has no hills!”
Bella believes everyone is nuts for thinking Lucas is the abusive one because CLEARLY Brittany is the abusive one.
Has it ever occurred to anyone that 90% of couples who disagree verbally don’t proceed to have a pro wrestling match when the cameras are absent?
“The chair! Give him the chair!”
The worst most couples get when verbally disagreeing is some tears every now and then, then they make it up to each other either thanks to food, talking, or cuddling together and watching Netflix. I know this from my own experiences too. There is absolutely no evidence that the newly engaged couple physically strikes one another.
Unless it’s part of some erotic adventure, is consensual, has some boundaries, and has a fruity safe word. Then they just have at ‘er.
As somebody who has personally visited France, cheese and wine would be perfect during the pit stop after being newly engaged.
“Et how about having zee baguette! Ah haw haw haw!”
I have a feeling Jess being a fan of the same NFL team as Timothy will not change Timothy’s intention of making the joke.
Tom Brady can only bring so much unity.
Eh, Mary could be happily married and just takes judging temporary competitive reality TV characters and how they must be in their real lives to an extreme. In fact, knowing everything I do about middle-aged women who watch these types of shows, that is the most likely possibility.
GOOD NEWS FOR AMY: Not only will Brittany be slapped by Lucas, but Brittany will also slap Lucas.
BAD NEWS FOR AMY: It won’t be each other’s faces being slapped like I presume Amy was hoping for. I assume a newly engaged couple have a different spot in mind.
Jani makes a good point. The Amazing Race is the most popular program on TV amongst elderly people who identify as Conservatives. It is a demographic they have dominated since the series began.
So Jeff is actually responding to “triggered Conservatives” rather than “triggered libs”. His strategy backfired.
This is why Josh has never been cast for The Amazing Race.
“Soon to be Mrs. Wuss! I have been waiting over nine years to make the name change!”
. . .I think you have made your point, Bella. Lucas probably appreciates that you are looking out for his long term well-being, though.
Two, Bella. Two.
Irma is starting to understand the game.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF TAR PROPOSALS
TAR 6 Final Four Elimination.
Also Early Show.
TAR 17 Oman leg.
TAR Canada 2 Normandy leg courtesy of Mentos.
TAR Australia 3 on an empty bladder.
In other words, it is happening at the same rate as it has been since day one.
A donk without the badonka. The biggest punishment of all.
If there is any type of Donk that Lucas can hope to be in this scenario, it would be DONKey Kong.
Alright folks. That’s it for this week as we have all finished decompressing. Life isn’t meant to be taken too seriously, and hope you’re all having a fun and happy week. Peace out, y’all.