The Amazing Race 19 Episode Eight Rankings

EIGHTH EPISODE

EPISODE BLOG #293

“Laurence Sunderland in Butterfinger”

COUNTRIES VISITED

CHINESE TAIPEI – INDONESIA – NOT LAOS – THAILAND – MALAWI – DENMARK – GERMANY – BELGIUM – NETHERLANDS – PANAMA – UNITED STATES

Previously on TAR: Seven teams raced from Thailand to Malawi. At the Roadblock, Marcus struggled. And a taxi breakdown put him and Amani further behind. In a gruelling race to the pit stop, siblings Justin & Jennifer had first place in their grasp but instead Andy & Tommy won their fourth leg of the race. Amani & Marcus couldn’t find a way to catch up, but survived to fight another day.

 

Six teams remain; who will be eliminated next?

NUMBER OF TIMES MENTIONED IN THE ‘PREVIOUSLY ON’ SEGMENT

ANDY & TOMMY 6

AMANI & MARCUS 4

JUSTIN & JENNIFER 3

LIZ & MARIE 3

ERNIE & CINDY 2

BILL & CATHI 2

ETHAN & JENNA 1

RON & BILL 1

LAURENCE & ZAC 1

KAYLANI & LISA 1

JEREMY & SANDY 0

Phil reintroduces us to Malawi as a densely populated African country centred around Lake Malawi. Its idyllic white sand beaches make it perfect for resort settings.

copenhagen resort

Such as this one.

copenhagen phil keoghan

I have a feeling Phil has not returned to Malawi since TAR 19.

Andy & Tommy won the last leg of the race at an unspecified time will depart first at 3:12pm.

copenhagen andy tommy

Up

copenhagen andy tommy 1

Down

copenhagen andy tommy 2

Up

Tommy reads they will fly over five thousand miles to Copenhagen, Denmark.

PHIL: For the first time in Amazing Race history, the city of Copenhagen, Denmark.

copenhagen landscape

This is the first time in TAR history where Phil points out a country is being visited for the first time in TAR history.

I think this is Phil’s unofficial way of saying “yeah, we don’t plan on going to too many more new countries”.

Once there, they will choose a Ford Focus and drive themselves to Vor Frelsers Kirke Bell Tower. Once there, they will race to the top and search for their next clue.

copenhagen ford

The relationship with Ford thrives for TAR.

copenhagen tower

copenhagen tower 1

Something tells me Andy & Tommy will be first up that tower.

TOMMY: Caution: Double U-Turn ahead.

copenhagen andy tommy 3

And yes, this is the first time since TAR 5 where a U-Turn/Yield is implemented in consecutive legs.

Considering it will be a LONG time until three U-Turns are present in a season, the fact that both U-Turns are used in back-to-back rounds is very unexpected.

ANDY: With five victories, people are not smiling at us as much.

copenhagen andy tommy 4

“So we’re forced to smile at each other.”

pusan marc rovilson 3

I don’t think Marc & Rovilson are smiling either. Andy & Tommy are on pace to crack Marc & Rovilson’s all-time wins record. Andy & Tommy are very capable of snagging nine or ten leg wins before this season is over.

Andy & Tommy are provided with tickets through British Airways to get to Copenhagen. However, they can book a more advantageous flight if they wish.

copenhagen flight

Is that Winnie the Pooh hanging from the driver’s dash?

Ernie & Cindy are second to depart at 3:13pm.

CINDY: Yes! Another Double U-Turn! We’re so using it.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen

Cindy is ready to wreak havoc on the race. She wants that first place finish. Andy & Tommy’s streak must be vanquished.

ERNIE: Last leg we were pretty upset. We had last place stolen from us.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen

Cindy remembers like it was yesterday. . .oh wait, it was yesterday.

Bill & Cathi start in third at 3:26pm.

CATHI: FLY TO COPENHAGEN! Copenhagen! Cold!

copenhagen bill cathi alden

Also known as “not as warm as Malawi”.

CATHI: We are going from Africa to Copenhagen and I don’t think it gets much more different than that.

‘Tis true.

Amani & Marcus start in fourth at 3:34pm. Amani sees there is another Double U-Turn.

AMANI: Shucks.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard

They know there is a good chance that nobody else will screw it up like Laurence & Zac did. They cannot bank on being spared when trailing yet again.

Amani & Marcus’ strategy is to not be satisfied with only coming back to fourth. They want to do more.

Laurence & Zac start in fifth at 3:36pm.

ZAC: Fly to Copanga, Denmark.

LAURENCE: Copenhagen, Denmark.

ZAC: Copenhagen. There we go.

topanga

Copanga.

Better than Zac saying Fuckit, Thailand.

copenhagen country

Hey, we get to see a picture of Denmark.

Laurence says they made a decision in the last leg that wasn’t wise.

copenhagen flashback

“We just saw them walk by this shop but hopefully they missed this gigantic U-Turn board.”

LAURENCE: If this comes back and bites us, it does. If it doesn’t, we’ll be very lucky.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland

“We need to beat Amani & Marcus today.”

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 1

“It’s like I am James Bond attached to a bench in Goldfinger, and the lasers are prepared to go over our crotch.”

james bond

“Do you expect me to be U-Turned?”

“No, I expect you to be eliminated.”

Jeremy & Sandy depart last at 3:42pm.

SANDY: Fly to Copenhagen, Denmark.

JEREMY: No! Yes!

SANDY: Let’s go.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline

Sandy goes in for the classic pec grab amidst the excitement.

copenhagen kamuzu

Is it just me or does Kamuzu sound like the name of an instrument?

The first four teams are at the airport and searching for an improved flight.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 2

I don’t think the agent signed the waiver.

LAURENCE: We know London is a big hub for international traffic. I felt we could possibly get an earlier flight to Copenhagen.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 3

Laurence sure knows all about that with London.

The agent agrees to check out flights for Laurence & Zac.

CINDY: She check in for you guys to get on the flight?

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 1

The interrogation commences.

ZAC: She’s looking through some stuff right now, yeah.

LAURENCE: Yeah. Yeah. She is.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 4

“So suck it.”

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 2

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 3

“I think you may or may not be bluffing.”

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 4

Cindy cracks up. This conversation is too serious.

LAURENCE: So we won’t be on the flight.

CINDY: This flight?

LAURENCE: No.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 5

“It’s my British charm at work. So deal with it.”

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 1

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 2

Yeah, they’re not buying it, Laurence.

CINDY: What time would you guys get in?

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 6

“Wasn’t it eleventy o’ clock, Zac?”

ZAC: I don’t know yet. She’s just checking on the stuff right now.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 7

You may not want to lie about your chances of getting on a better flight to the team that is currently celebrating the prospect of a U-Turn.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 5

But it does take balls. Cindy will give them that.

They bid farewell to one another in a very cordial way. This is -too- cordial for round eight.

CINDY: That was super shady.

ERNIE: We’ll get to Amsterdam and then see if we can get on a flight that’s a little earlier.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 3

“And in Amsterdam we’ll stop at a coffeeshop to buy whatever Laurence & Zac are smoking.”

Ernie & Cindy recap that everyone is getting on the plane except Laurence & Zac.

copenhagen marcus pollard

Marcus still doesn’t know how to wear a hat.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 1

I bet they snore really loud on the flight.

CINDY: We have no idea where they’re gonna go.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 8

Stuck behind in Lilongwe.

copenhagen screen

Not many flights scheduled this morning.

Laurence & Zac have booked a Virgin Atlantic flight through London.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 9

“Sir Richard Branson is my cousin. Do I get a discount?”

The first flight lands in Amsterdam. Everyone is trying to beat the 8:20am flight to Copenhagen. It is a rare airport scramble.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 2

Only six teams but yet this is the third flight to be booked to Copenhagen.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 4

Ernie & Cindy are joining them.

copenhagen andy tommy 5

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 1

Make that four flights to Copenhagen.

copenhagen couple

I didn’t notice this until now, but that couple on the left is totally making out.

JEREMY: This could be huge. We’re just gonna run in and check in and try to avoid every other team right now.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 2

The goal is to avoid everyone.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 1

MARCUS: Right there.

Are you sure, Marcus?

Jeremy & Sandy join Andy & Tommy in their gate.

JEREMY: We’ve been hiding out too.

SANDY: You’ve been hiding back there?

ANDY: Good work. You guys nailed it.

SANDY: We saw Marcus and Amani.

TOMMY: You did?

ANDY: We were trying to–

TOMMY: Did you avoid saying anything?

SANDY: No.

copenhagen group

charla mirna

Sneaky flight improvement would make Charla & Mirna proud.

MARCUS: I’m pretty confident everybody will be on the 8:20 flight.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 2

Amani & Marcus failed to get connected and stay in touch with the other teams.

copenhagen internet

There is still time to find the better flight.

MARCUS: What’s the rush? Sit back and get something to eat. Take a nap. Get ready to rock n’ roll when the plane takes off.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 3

Why check flights when you can check your Facebook?

copenhagen plane

This plane’s logo looks like a football with horns blasting off into space.

10:35PM: Andy & Tommy say Jeremy & Sandy are on the flight with them.

11:00PM: Bill & Cathi say Ernie & Cindy are on the flight with them and doubts anyone else has an evening flight.

copenhagen flight 1

What a beautiful airport.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 10

And my god. Laurence & Zac’s solo gamble paid off.

Amani & Marcus are the only ones staying behind for the morning flight.

MARCUS: Just gonna take some unwind time.Take some time to look out at the planes.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 4

“One of which we should be on, but whatevs.”

copenhagen laurence sunderland

And for some reason production tells us the exact minute that Laurence sees the Bell Tower.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 11

Of course, the Bell Tower does not open until 7:30am. Their 2 1/2 hour lead on the next flight is null and void. The only advantage they have is their one hour lead over Amani & Marcus.

ZAC: It appears to be really closed.

copenhagen zac sunderland

As opposed to a little closed.

We cut back to Schipol Airport.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 5

Amani & Marcus were really determined to sleep tonight. Lights out by nine in an airport is truly impressive.

The 10:35pm lands in Copenhagen.

JEREMY: Copenhagen. Sick.

SANDY: It’s humid here.

Tommy asks Andy how to drive a manual. I didn’t expect them to be the team that doesn’t know how to drive a manual.

ANDY: You put it in ‘R’ first. I think ‘R’ means Real fast.

copenhagen andy tommy 6

In one direction, anyway.

The 11:00pm flight lands.

CINDY: Everyone looks so blonde.

I am guessing there wasn’t too many blonde people in Malawi.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 6

Amani & Marcus have managed to sleep for over two hours in an airport chair. This is remarkable.

Andy & Tommy are second to a rainy Bell Tower. Andy likes that they still got there tonight.

copenhagen andy tommy 7

After Andy & Tommy and Laurence & Zac were saved by the Phuket equalizer when they botched up their own flights, it is only fitting that their gamble leads to a mass equalizer that benefits everyone else.

SANDY: You think this is open?

JEREMY: Open at 7:30am.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 3

“P.S. This is all of the airtime you are ever going to get. Huh. I wonder what that means?”

Cathi decides to scare the bajeebus out of a random car.

copenhagen cathi alden

“Wakey wakey. Did I scare you?”

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 7

How are Amani & Marcus comfortable for over four hours?!

Bill & Cathi note Amani & Marcus are the only team unaccounted for.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 3

In other words, easy U-Turn targets.

copenhagen sun

copenhagen sun 1

We cut to a Danish sun.

MARCUS: We haven’t seen anybody over at the Transfer Station.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 8

About that. . .

copenhagen tower 2

I don’t think you’ll be seeing them, Marcus.

TOMMY: Everyone is here except Marcus and Armani.

copenhagen andy tommy 8

Does everyone think there is a ‘r’ in her name?

Amani & Marcus realize there was a flight last night and wait alone for their flight.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 9

The moment you accept you are in last place.

As teams enter the Bell Tower, Amani & Marcus receive their boarding passes.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 10

Savour this moment folks. It’s a rare flight scramble.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 11

This Double U-Turn leg could be disastrous.

Commercial break. We resume with Amani & Marcus preparing to board the flight.

MARCUS: It feels like death to me.

AMANI: It doesn’t feel like death to me, and if death came up I am fighting death every step of the way.

Amani is in the optimistic role for this team.

Phil reminds us that teams must climb over four hundred steps. They must look for two different clues. A flag on top of the building they climbed, and a banner on a roof below. From these two clues, they’ll learn their next destination is the Frederiksborg Slot.

copenhagen flags

Hopefully the wind cooperates with the flag.

copenhagen frederiksborg.jpg

Man, I didn’t realize Denmark was this awesome.

royal raceway.jpg

This looks almost identical to the trees and buildings in Royal Raceway from Mario Kart 64. Once there, they’ll find their next clue.

copenhagen woman 1

copenhagen woman

This is summer  when tourism should be at its peak, but yet it is one empty square.

copenhagen woman 2

She gets a whole castle to herself.

All of the teams run up the narrow tower.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen

I can’t wait for when Marcus inevitably hits his head on the brackets.

The soundtrack plays the same song as when Maggie Simpson rescues all of her friends in A Streetcar Named Marge. Apparently it’s the march song by Elmer Bernstein used in the theme of The Great Escape.

I guarantee you will never find information like this in any other TAR blog on the planet.

copenhagen cindy jeremy

It’s good we didn’t see them walk up all four hundred individual steps.

copenhagen andy finch

Andy notes the flag. So does everyone else.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 4

Bill is about to follow suit, but Cathi stops him.

taipei bill cathi alden 5

Cathi learned her lesson from the first leg in Taipei.

copenhagen frederiks

Bill & Cathi beat everyone at a visual challenge. Things have changed over the course of seven episodes.

BILL: Frederiks. Slot means castle. They have a lot of castles around here.

copenhagen bill alden

There are probably five castles visible from the tower alone.

Cindy notes the banner keeps getting re-hidden.

copenhagen fred

Now it’s just Fred’s castle.

Bill & Cathi, Ernie & Cindy, Laurence & Zac, and Andy & Tommy all have the castle’s name.

JEREMY: We looked around, we walked around in a circle, and there’s little signs that show different buildings. There was a castle named Rosenberg Slot. That must be it.

copenhagen sandy cline

I guess looking at this map of the city with labelled castles is a logical thing to do. It’s not the biggest blunder I have seen on the race or much of a ‘what were they thinking?’ moment.

Laurence & Zac are back down from the tower with only a slot in their hands.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 13

“Couldn’t we just follow everyone else?”

The five teams are in their cars.

SANDY: OK, let’s go.

JEREMY: Let’s go.

copenhagen cathi alden 1

With two teams missing the clue and one team on a trailing flight, Bill & Cathi are really close to being the oldest team to ever win a leg of The Amazing Race.

Jeremy & Sandy find their location.

SANDY: Right here. Look for it on the street.

(They exit the car.)

SANDY: It opens at ten.

JEREMY: This might not be it. This is a restaurant. We might have to go to a building.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 4

copenhagen jeremy cline

A double equalizer just doesn’t quite add up.

SANDY: This is so frustrating. We have no idea. This can’t be right.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 5

Jeremy ponders what to do.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 6

They study their map to figure out where they went wrong.

We skip ahead to Frederiksborg Slot.

copenhagen trees

The trees are majestic.

copenhagen pond

There’s a new pond for Amani & Marcus.

copenhagen people

It’s time to start up a Danish Game of Thrones.

copenhagen couple 1

They are so in love.

Laurence remarks the building is impressive and drives into the square.

copenhagen car

Ten points if you run her over in your Ford Focus!

LAURENCE: G’day my dear, how are you? Do you have a clue for me?

Now Laurence is Australian.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 1

“Lookin’ for a good time, sailor?”

Laurence & Zac are given the clue like it’s a Drive-Thru.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 1

The castle’s footprint is greatly increasing.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 6

Cindy is the only one to physically exit the car.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 14

“I wish we got fries with that. Here’s your happy meal, son.”

Laurence opens the clue. It’s a Roadblock.

Phil says the Roadblock requires teams to do a dance that dates back to the Renaissance.

copenhagen phil keoghan 1

And here I thought Phil was the Renaissance Man.

After dressing in period costume, they will work with an instructor and learn a complex three-part dance routine that will test their memory, coordination, and attention to the detail. When the countess is satisfied they can keep in step with professionals, she will hand them their next clue.

copenhagen instructors

Choose your character!

copenhagen instructors 1

I would hate wearing that outfit.

copenhagen slide

copenhagen slide 1

Electric slide on the dance floor.

copenhagen phil keoghan 2

“I get to dress up like this every day!”

Ernie has to do the Roadblock.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 5

Cindy finds that funny. Really funny.

LAURENCE: You okay doing this dance?

ZAC: I’ll make it work.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 15

Something tells me neither one is an exceptional dancer.

LAURENCE: May The Force be with you.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 16

“May The Schwartz be in your feet.”

copenhagen zac sunderland 1

“I skipped half of drama class in high school, and never attended school dances. Sigh.”

copenhagen laurence sunderland 2

“For once my son will dress up as a proper royal subject.”

ERNIE: Normally I don’t wear tights. I don’t care about the stocking so much.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 6

“I think yellow looks much better on me.”

copenhagen tights

“If I wear these for the rest of the leg, do you promise not to U-Turn me?”

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 2

I think this is Ernie’s first experience with make-up.

copenhagen zac sunderland 2

This is the first time Zac has had brushes jammed into his eyelashes.

ERNIE: We’ve been on the road for a little while. You tend to have some breakouts.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 3

Ernie is grateful for the blemishes being taken care of.

copenhagen zac sunderland 3

They press against Zac’s beloved peach fuzz.

LAURENCE: They didn’t do a half job when they built this place. This is a full job.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 3

mike holmes.jpg

Yeah, I am pretty sure the Danish royalty hired Holmes to really fix this place up.

copenhagen band

They have their own band.

copenhagen flute

bob saget

And they have Bob Saget make a cameo as a flutist.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 7

Cindy will no longer have to lead when they dance at their wedding.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 4

“How do you do, sir?”

For the second time this season, Laurence regrets the choice of who did this Roadblock.

LAURENCE: I used to be a front man in a rock n’ roll band.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 4

Because being a front man in a rock n’ roll band is totally applicable to doing brief Renaissance era choreography. If so, then Laurence’s rock n’ roll band suffered from major genre confusion.

kiss.jpg

I wanna rock n’ roll all niiiight

And wear tights while playing a flute every day

ZAC: I had to get taught how to dance by a weird looking man in tights. Not one of my prouder moments.

copenhagen zac sunderland 4

“I really wish this was a Spring Break renaissance dance and you were a blonde chick in a bikini.”

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 7

“I felt like the Michael Cera of TAR.”

Amani & Marcus’ flight lands. Jeremy & Sandy are still lost.

SANDY: We’re going to start over cause we have no idea where we’re going.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 12

They don’t know it yet, but they are right back in this.

SANDY: There it is.

JEREMY: This is right where we were before. Remember?

Jeremy & Sandy re-enter the tower.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 7

Nothing like 1, 200 steps to start out your morning!

copenhagen marcus pollard 1

“This is like training camp!”

Amani & Marcus eventually reach the top. Nobody is saying anything.

copenhagen roof

Just silently scanning for a banner.

SANDY: We were shocked. Like ‘eh, there goes our buffer.’

bruce buffer

“I am gone. Sorry Sandy.”

copenhagen sandy amani

Sandy is making the same mistake as before.

copenhagen amani pollard

“This can’t be.”

copenhagen roof 1

At least Amani & Marcus aren’t looking at that sign.

Jeremy & Sandy finally see the banner.

SANDY: Write it down.

We cut back to the Roadblock location. Bill & Cathi are third there.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 5

They chose to walk there rather than park their Ford Focus in the middle of the square.

copenhagen castle

I know they do triathlons, but they might regret that.

CATHI: Who’s ready to take a few steps back in time?

So that was the Roadblock hint. Cathi knows it’s all her.

copenhagen roadblock

Laurence says there’ll be rap dancing, but I can’t see Zac wanting to grind against the other dude in tights.

copenhagen roadblock 1

Bill responds like an old person.

LAURENCE: No. Rap.

copenhagen roadblock 2

“Rap?! You’ve just blown my mind!”

Laurence starts making bass sounds.

copenhagen roadblock 3

copenhagen roadblock 4

copenhagen roadblock 5

“Oh, that’s the music that those young whippersnappers listen to!”

meghan trainor

Laurence is all about that bass, no treble.

copenhagen roadblock 6

Cindy cracks up. Old people pretending to do rap was still funny back in 2011.

jamie kennedy.jpg

This guy didn’t completely kill that angle.

copenhagen music

“Sweet Hans Christian Anderson! They call that music?! Why my ears may never be the same in this kingdom!”

copenhagen man

ron burgundy 1

“A little ham and eggs coming at you guys again!”

copenhagen graphic

Ah, they even changed the graphic just for this task!

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 5

Ernie looks like a guy who is holding his mommy’s hand before crossing the street.

Ernie fails to walk in a different direction with his mommy.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 6

“Remember to look both ways before crossing the street!”

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 8

Cindy tucks her fingers into her fangs from being so gosh darn nervous.

Bill sees Cathi in her outfit.

BILL: She looks lovely.

copenhagen bill alden 1

“She looks just like the day when I married her.”

copenhagen cathi alden 2

No, Bill is being dead serious. This is the EXACT outfit that Cathi would frequently wear when her and Bill first started dating. Fashion has come a long way!

copenhagen cathi alden 3

“How do you do?”

Cathi picks somebody as Cindy asks Bill a question.

copenhagen cathi alden 4

copenhagen cathi alden 5

Were two women allowed to dance together in the Renaissance era as a couple?

BILL: Actually she was twelve and I was thirteen in middle school. Went together for eight years then got married on the day of graduation from college.

copenhagen bill cindy

My co-workers who are just three years older than me originally met at that exact same age and started dating when they were thirteen and fourteen. They married about ten years later. It is funny because they also grew up in a rural community just like Bill & Cathi did.

copenhagen cathi alden 6

Wouldn’t it have been crazy if the stress of the race led to them having a divorce after being together for fifty years?

CINDY: We just met at a bar.

BILL: Well that’s OK, too.

copenhagen cindy bill

“I mean, my story is much more romantic than you and Ernie being a couple of drunks, but whatever.”

CINDY: Over a shotski.

BILL: Oh.

copenhagen bill cindy 1

Oddly enough, that was the last time Ernie wore tights. He didn’t know what happened when he woke up in the morning.

Well, I met my first ex-girlfriend when she came over to my house to play Nintendo video games with one of my friends, and I met my second ex-girlfriend in Barcelona while I was guzzling down bottles of wine with a group of people from South America.

So yeah, Bill & Cathi have us all beat.

NOTE: Yeah, this scene is way more sentimental when you know what happens to Bill just a few years later. It makes me really feel for Cathi.

copenhagen andy tommy 9

copenhagen andy tommy 10

As expected, Andy & Tommy opt to sprint to the Roadblock. No rock-paper-scissors. It’s all Andy.

Zac tells us he has never done a choreographed dance in his life.

copenhagen zac sunderland 5

Crossover then. . .

copenhagen zac sunderland 6

. . .Heel raise.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 5

“I did heel raises every day as a frontman.”

copenhagen band 1

This band does not seem to get along.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 7

Ernie skips along with his Mommy.

copenhagen women

“What a dashing young man!”

copenhagen woman 3

copenhagen woman 4

“I am wet already.”

Ernie keeps hopping. First dance routine is completed.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 8

Goodbye to crossing the street with mommy.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 9

Hello older sister.

cersei.jpg

Hopefully not in that way.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 9

Cindy knows what positions he wants to shoot for.

copenhagen woman 5

Shopping for a young girl’s Halloween costume is a lot easier in Copenhagen.

The second dance routine looks the exact same as the first.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 10

More skipping along to a gentle picnic.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 10

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 11

Cindy is feeling the flutist’s beat.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 11

The puffy sleeves kills me.

copenhagen genie

jeanie

The woman on the left looks more like the precursor to I Dream of Jeannie.

Everyone keeps watching Ernie.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 12

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 13

Cindy’s fangs return. It may or may not be a nervous habit.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 12

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 13

She is more than willing to let go of Ernie’s hand.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 14

Cindy keeps us updated.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 14

Ernie’s makeup is itchy.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 15

“Squires do not scratch their eyes, dear sir.”

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 16

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 17

This time we slide.

copenhagen feet

copenhagen feet 1

Look at that footwork! He could be a boxer!

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 18

Ernie performs the Danish Scuffle.

copenhagen ernie bill

Cindy is still nervous and mimes the steps.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 19

Task complete!

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 15

No more finger fangs for Cindy!

Everyone applauds while Cindy is squeaky. They read that they must drive themselves to Frilandmuseet and search the grounds for their next clue.

copenhagen frilandmuseet

In other words, a random farm.

copenhagen post

We have yet to see a single clue box.

CINDY: Cathi is right on your tail.

ERNIE: Isn’t it Zac?

CINDY: No. Zac has zero dancing skills.

copenhagen zac sunderland 7

His stance is just a bit wide.

Andy is now dressed and ready to perform.

copenhagen andy finch 1

“Bro!”

copenhagen tommy czeschin

“Bro!”

copenhagen woman 6

She would let him hit that.

copenhagen woman 7

“You’re choosing her over me? I see how it is.”

JEREMY: Excuse me. Have you heard of Frederiksbor Slot?

copenhagen jeremy cline 1

“Yes, Frederiks’ bro is a slut but don’t tell him I said that.”

SANDY: Where is that?

MAN: You can’t miss it. It’s a real big old castle.

SANDY: Thank you so much. We’re hoping somebody else has made big mistakes like we did.

Marcus feels lost and hates not being in control. He also hates asking for directions. This could be a long day for him.

copenhagen graffiti

In other news, cool graffiti.

Cathi completes the first routine. Zac is still practising. Laurence notes his son must be far more frustrated than he is at the moment.

copenhagen zac sunderland 8

copenhagen zac sunderland 9

There was no A/C back in the Renaissance era.

Andy is excelling at his rehearsal. Cathi is doing the second dance routine.

copenhagen andy finch 2

They think he has Renaissance danced before.

copenhagen cathi alden 7

The countess watches over her subjects.

copenhagen cathi alden 8

What is that guy wearing over his crotch?!

Cathi completes the Roadblock in second place.

copenhagen bill alden 2

copenhagen bill alden 3

Bill punches the air in excitement. They leave the castle.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 6

“Must go to happy place.”

Ernie & Cindy are already at the next route marker. Ernie figures out the mailbox clue quickly.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 20

I guess it sticks out when nothing else is here.

It’s a Detour. Phil says more than two-thirds of Denmark’s land is used for agriculture. This gives teams to experience the chance to live life on the farm. They must choose between All Hopped Up or All Churned Out.

copenhagen phil keoghan 3

Phil even does his best impression of a rabbit.

All Hopped Out requires both team members to consecutively lead a rabbit through a steeplechase course. A very popular sport called kaninhop. After correctly laying out a proper course, they must choose a rabbit and lead it over the jumps without knocking anything over. If their habbit can hop to it, the animal handler will hand them their next clue.

copenhagen rabbit

Wow.

copenhagen rabbit 1

This is officially one of the cutest things ever.

copenhagen detour

Look at that takeoff!

copenhagen detour 1

We even get a Rabbit Cam. So cute.

copenhagen colours

There’s those race colours!

copenhagen detour 2

I wish their cages were bigger.

copenhagen phil keoghan 4

“I have the best job!”

copenhagen phil keoghan 5

Pardon me, the animal handler has the best job. She gets to do this every day!

In All Churned Out requires teams to make what many regard as the best butter in the world. Using two churns they must work fresh cream into six sticks of high quality butter. Once they have stamped a finished product, the dairy maid will hand them their next clue.

sweden connor jonathan 11

copenhagen churned

Connor nor Jonathan will never know what this feels like.

copenhagen churned 1

She uses two hands. Two hands.

copenhagen butter

Smooth like butter!

copenhagen butter 1

**smack**

copenhagen butter 2

Care for a glass?

copenhagen cream

The cream is the secret ingredient.

copenhagen butter 3

copenhagen phil keoghan 6

Phil just churned his own butter!

CINDY: We said no more animals after those sheep.

copenhagen churned 2

To the right for an animal free zone!

copenhagen animal

Bad news for Cindy: There are animals.

Good news for Cindy: They’re dead!

copenhagen pig

Why is she touching a dead pig?

copenhagen goat

Why is that woman waving at a goat?

CINDY: Oh my god! There’s goats!

ERNIE: Sorry, Mr. Goat.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 16

Ernie calms the goat.

copenhagen woman 8

Weird Al is jealous.

Ernie & Cindy enter the butter making area.

CINDY: Can we watch you?

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 7

Nope. You have to figure it out all on your own, Cindy! You might want to switch tasks!

Both of them note this task requires a lot of smashing.

bangkok laurence sunderland 7

austin powers

“Smashing! Yeah, baby yeah!”

Laurence is definitely choosing this task.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 8

As Wu Tang says, it’s all about that cream.

copenhagen butter 4

The butter drips on the side.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 21

Ernie is a two-hander.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 17

So is Cindy.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 9

Cindy switches to one hand on the stick.

ERNIE: Very little comes.

CINDY: This is no joke. This is some major muscles here.

ERNIE: You really got to beat this cream in order to turn it into something. It smells good. I just want to lick it up.

Jesus Christ. This is the most suggestive dialogue in a LONG time.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 18

It took only a minute for Cindy to work the stick until it got moist. That seems about average.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 22

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 23

You just have to keep beating that stick until something comes out! Use your imagination if you must!

ERNIE (talking to the stick): Do you like that?

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 19

OK, they’re both in on the innuendo too. It’s not just my mind that is in the gutter.

copenhagen laurence tommy

Laurence and Tommy do their own Roadblock.

copenhagen dance

On a scale of 1 to 10, I am curious how much Zac hates his life right now.

copenhagen dance 1

Zac has fallen from first to fourth due to his perceived rap dancing.

copenhagen laurence andy

Laurence can only watch as Andy knows a sixth victory is well within reach.

copenhagen andy tommy 11

Amazingly enough, Andy doesn’t look any less ridiculous when standing next to his partner.

LAURENCE: This is hard for a nineteen year old young lad to learn.

That’s true in a way. In the United States, you have to be twenty-one before you can get into the nightclubs and dance your ass off all night. Zac has to wait two more years for that.

Jeremy & Sandy see Andy & Tommy in the parking lot.

JEREMY: Where’s this guy going? Hey guys!

SANDY: Is everyone else gone?

TOMMY: No.

ANDY: Zac & Laurence are still in there.

(They grab clue from the princess.)

JEREMY: Hi. You’ve got this. Kill this.

Sandy is doing the Roadblock.

Amani & Marcus pull over and hope to flag down a car for directions.

MARCUS: Lord have mercy.

This is Marcus’ biggest catchphrase of the season.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 13

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 14

Danish cyclists don’t give a shit about TAR.

MARCUS: I don’t think they like us too well over here.

Marcus decides to stand in the middle of the road. A semi drives by and honks at Marcus.

copenhagen marcus pollard 2

copenhagen marcus pollard 3

copenhagen marcus pollard 4

sweet brown

Helping random racers? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Commercial break. We resume with somebody pulling over.

MARCUS: Excuse me, do you speak English?

I certainly hope so because I doubt Marcus speaks Danish.

copenhagen marcus pollard 5

I wonder how many cars it was before somebody pulled over for Marcus.

They learn they have to turn around.

MARCUS: In football terms, we just had a big turnover. That’s what you can’t do in this game as well as football, but we’ve turned it over before. We just know it’s still a race. It’s not over until it’s over.

copenhagen marcus pollard 6

“In hockey terms, we just had. . .nevermind, nobody gives a fuck about hockey.”

MARCUS’ NFL REFERENCES COUNTER: 11

We cut back to the butter churning Detour with Ernie & Cindy.

copenhagen goat 1

Where a goat and a woman playfully fight over a carrot.

CINDY: You guys have hard work.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 20

copenhagen women 1

“To us this is not a game. This is real life.”

copenhagen butter 5

copenhagen water

Cindy retrieves some water with her buttery fingers. She proceeds to smack that butter.

CINDY: There’s something dirty on it.

copenhagen butter 6

Looks like a piece of hair. Cindy removes it.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 21

“I hope the judges don’t see that.”

Bill sees a red and yellow arrow.

CATHI: Hot damn.

I think it is the first time they have cursed all season.

copenhagen cathi alden 9

I was totally banking on her saying “hot diggity” here.

Cathi says Bill could do the rabbit but she couldn’t. Therefore they choose to churn it up in this motherfucker.

copenhagen detour 3

By the way, we’ve got a Double U-Turn.

Bill says hi to the goat. He is amused by the butter making demonstration.

BILL: Do we get to eat it at the end?

CINDY: I don’t think you want to eat my sweaty ass.

copenhagen bill cindy 2

Yes Bill, please don’t eye up Cindy’s sweaty ass. . .butter.

Ernie & Cindy get their butter judged.

copenhagen butter 7

Examining. . .

copenhagen woman 9

“I’m gonna say no.”

copenhagen butter 8

What a waste of high end butter.

copenhagen butter 9

They are like Cinderella’s butter obsessed stepsisters.

We go back to the Roadblock.

LAURENCE: Have you seen Marcus and Armani yet?

JEREMY: No. Have you?

LAURENCE: No.

copenhagen zac sunderland 10

“If this had a DDR interface, I’d kill this task. Can I take this home for my Legend of Zelda cosplay?”

Zac is on the final dance routine. He shuffles and all that jazz. More shuffling and swiffering. He completes the Roadblock. Laurence and the crowd applauds his efforts.

LAURENCE: It would have taken me a while, but I probably would’ve landed it a little quicker. That’s my forte. You know, that’s what I do.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 18

“If it were an Olympic sport, I wouldn’t even win gold—it’d be platinum.”

copenhagen jeremy cline 2

My reaction.

Cindy compliments Ernie’s beautiful sticks of butter.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 10

copenhagen butter 10

Who doesn’t love a good stick of butter with pretty and flowery designs?

CATHI: It’s turning into whipped cream.

stewie

And yes, Cathi says it the Stewie Griffin way. I am not even joking.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 6

Now I really wish one of them would say “whippersnapper”.

Ernie & Cindy ask for another evaluation.

copenhagen butter 11

That is not a very enthusiastic response.

copenhagen woman 10

But judging by her withdrawn tone is the equivalent of “this is really really good.” And who gives the clue upside-down?!

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 11

Ernie butters up the clue as he reads they must make their way on foot to Karlstrup Windmill.

Cindy insists there was a windmill right before they drove into the route marker.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 12

Is Ernie gonna go against her on that?

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 13

Yeah, didn’t think so.

copenhagen ernie halvorsen 24

Yeah, that windmill stands out a bit more than a Jamaica Shop.

copenhagen phil keoghan 7

For the second week in a row, Phil has to explain the Double U-Turn. Unless you are an alien who happened to come across this blog by pure chance, I shouldn’t bother having to explain this twist to you.

ERNIE: Do you really want to U-Turn anybody?

CINDY: Yes.

ERNIE: Who?!

CINDY: Bill & Cathi! They’re right on our tails.

ERNIE: Really?!

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 14

I love Ernie’s reaction to this.

copenhagen u turn

copenhagen u turn 1

Hot damn! Cindy’s parents should be worried about being moved into a retirement home sooner rather than later!

CINDY: Yes. Sorry guys, but we need a win. They’re gonna hate us.

copenhagen u turn 2

Cindy doesn’t want a win; she wants a honeymoon.

Ernie & Cindy read they must drive themselves seven miles back to Copenhagen and find Havet Ship. This sixty year old ship was a cargo boat converted into a hotel and is the pit stop for this leg of the race.

copenhagen phil keoghan 8

“I’m on a boat. Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat.”

copenhagen pit stop

Laurence will be super pissed if he gets eliminated in a leg where the pit stop is on a boat.

ERNIE: So how do you feel about the U-Turn?

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 15

Since when did Ernie turn into Dr. Phil?

CINDY: I want to win a freaking leg! Sorry, Bill & Cathi. Can’t be nice anymore. It’s a million dollars.

alice cooper

That’s right, Bill & Cathi. No More Mr. Nice Guy from soon-to-be Mrs. Halvorsen.

copenhagen pig 1

Why do they keep showing us this dead pig? Is it Wilbur?

We cut back to Bill & Cathi who have no idea what’s coming.

copenhagen paddle

“Do you think producers will let us take this home with us, Cathi?”

It is rejected initially. Cathi says they have made twenty-four sticks of butter.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 7

copenhagen bill cathi alden 8

copenhagen bill cathi alden 9

Andy & Tommy see an arrow.

TOMMY: Arrow. Holler.

I think it’s “Holla!” but whatever.

Bill & Cathi complete the Detour.

copenhagen women 2

She has learned how to properly dispense a clue.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 10

“I guess we can’t hug you, eh?”

Yeah, I don’t think either of them are much of a hugger, Phil.

Andy & Tommy are third to the postal clue box.

copenhagen andy tommy 13

copenhagen andy tommy 12

“Bam!”

Tommy asks Bill & Cathi which Detour to do.

TOMMY: How’s the butter churning?

CATHI: It’s doable.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 11

You just asked two elderly farmers if churning butter is the right task to do. You may or may not get a biased answer, Andy & Tommy.

Andy & Tommy agree to churn butter.

Bill & Cathi powerwalk to the windmill.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 12

copenhagen bill cathi alden 13

They maintain a good powerwalking pace.

Bill & Cathi see their faces up on the U-Turn board. The grandparents surely won’t use the second slot, would they?

copenhagen bill cathi alden 14

This is the closest Cathi has come to flipping somebody off in her whole life.

Also, you can once again see how bad the glare is on that board.

copenhagen u turn 3

Oh my word. Bill & Cathi become the oldest team ever to use a U-Turn and/or Yield.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 19

“When I was a frontman, we churned butter and raced rabbits so the joke is on you.”

The strategy is to simply U-Turn a trailing team.

copenhagen u turn 4

First place U-Turns second place which U-Turns fourth place. The two teams on the bottom are spared.

Bill quotes Cartman from South Park as he walks away.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 15

kenny

Just imagine his reaction when he finds out they killed Kenny.

Bill & Cathi are ready for rabbits.

copenhagen bunny

If this were TAR Canada, Cadbury would somehow sponsour this task.

copenhagen detour 4

It’s like a bunch of random shit together thrown into a pile for the obstacles.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 16

Is that a horseshoe in Cathi’s hand?

They set up the obstacles and Bill picks a rabbit on their behalf. He gets to lead it first.

copenhagen bill alden 4

This is the one time I would love to be U-Turned. I hardly consider this a punishment!

copenhagen bill alden 5

It’s like a ferret.

Bill’s rabbit hits a couple of the obstacles. Therefore he has to do it again.

copenhagen bill alden 6

“But Bill can’t stay mad at you. Isn’t that right, Mr. Rabbit?”

What does Rupert think of Bill’s first attempt?

rupert 4

copenhagen rupert

Indeed.

Amani & Marcus are last to the Roadblock. Amani is gonna do it.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 15

Amani is already focusing.

JEREMY: Hey, you made it. Rough day.

copenhagen jeremy marcus

Unbelievable that you got lost on the roads or unbelievable that you ran into Jeremy & Sandy, Marcus?

JEREMY: We were wondering where you guys were.

MARCUS: Ridiculous.

JEREMY: We thought you guys would be–

MARCUS: It’s really tough knowing we’re the last two standing here looking at one another.

copenhagen jeremy marcus 1

While they aren’t actually looking at one another.

JEREMY: Everybody is way ahead.

copenhagen jeremy cline 3

“And I’m not just talking about in terms of airtime.”

copenhagen marcus pollard 7

“You don’t say?”

Bill picks a new rabbit. His name is Speckles.

BILL: K, Speckles. You ready for this?

copenhagen bill alden 7

“If you lose this race, you’ll be sitting next to that dead pig at the butter churning factory.”

The race begins. Speckles is bouncing and hopping more than Peter Cottontail.

copenhagen bunny 1

It’s like a dalmatian in bunny form.

copenhagen bunny 2

copenhagen bunny 3

The bunny starts sniffing the camera.

copenhagen woman 11

Bunny trainer approves.

BUNNY TRAINER: Good.

BILL: That’s right. You don’t take no for an answer, do you?

copenhagen bill alden 8

harvey weinstein

If that was the case, Bill should change Speckles’ name to Harvey.

By the way, the way Bill talks to the bunny is like a ten year old boy cuddling with a cat. It’s hilarious.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 17

“You eat pieces of shit like this race course for breakfast, don’t you Speckles?”

copenhagen cathi alden 10

Cathi leads Speckles through the course. She finishes it on the first try.

BILL: Speckles, we’re going to take you home!

copenhagen bill cathi alden 18

Be careful, Cathi. I think Bill may run the rest of this race with Speckles rather than you. I hope Speckles can navigate because I think he will have a tough time reaching the pedals.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 19

“Back to the windmill!”

It’s a nice long trek back to the U-Turn board and–

copenhagen bill cathi alden 20

Oh.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 21

They finished the whole task before Andy & Tommy could churn butter. Perhaps bunny hopping was faster than churning or Bill & Cathi are just on fire today.

BILL: Sometimes. . .people are just MEAN!

CATHI: Mean!

I love Bill & Cathi.

Amani & Marcus and Jeremy & Sandy are at the Roadblock. Of course Marcus is the only one who gets to have any confessionals or speak until Sandy completes the Roadblock.

MARCUS: I just got to keep racing. It’s all I know. It’s all I’ve done. I’ve been here before. Teams have been here before. So we just gotta keep going. It’s all I know.

copenhagen marcus pollard 8

Is it all you know, Marcus? Cause I get the feeling that you may or may not know football. I don’t know why. It’s just a hunch.

Sandy is forced to do one of the silliest dance moves on TAR ever.

copenhagen sandy cline 1

He leads her into a weird hopping diagonal motion while holding hands. It’s like it was made up on the spot.

Sandy completes the third and final stage.

copenhagen sandy cline 2

“Is this shit over? Can you let go of my hand now?”

Sandy receives the clue.

copenhagen marcus pollard 9

magic school bus

Marcus goes full on Arnold when Sandy completes the Roadblock.

JEREMY: Drive yourselves to Frilandsmuseet. You did great.

MARCUS: Jeremy and Sandy left. So we’re last. As always.

europe henry terri reed 17

Not always always. You haven’t been saved by three NELs yet, Marcus.

Jeremy & Sandy are outside.

JEREMY: We’ve got to ask somebody. We have no idea where we’re going.

SANDY: We can’t get lost.

JEREMY: No.

SANDY: OK, I know where we are.

JEREMY: Alright.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 8

Naturally this probably means they don’t know where they are.

copenhagen amani pollard 1

This guy creeps me out.

copenhagen amani pollard 2

The producers really made Amani and Sandy go overboard with the lipstick in this Roadblock.

copenhagen marcus pollard 10

But Marcus don’t mind.

copenhagen amani pollard 3

I can’t tell if Amani is celebrating the end of this task or the fact she gets to be separated from that guy for good.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 16

Once again, Amani & Marcus have to fight hard to survive a U-Turn and an elimination. And once again, the U-Turn has worked in their favour. Jeremy & Sandy being U-Turned would be better, but this gives them a reasonable shot.

Laurence & Zac are fourth to the Detour. They choose to churn butter and walk by the women.

LAURENCE: G’day ladies!

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 20

“Can you guess which one of us was in a rock band?”

copenhagen woman 8

“I could play that accordion better than you, but that’s just because I was a frontman in a rock band. It’s just what I do.”

Laurence & Zac walk in to see Andy & Tommy. Familiar faces.

ANDY: Ready to get messy?

Andy gives an impromptu demonstration.

copenhagen andy finch 3

copenhagen andy finch 4

There is butter flying everywhere!

copenhagen andy tommy 14

“All of you are my creamy disciples!”

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 21

Laurence immediately coaches Zac on how to churn butter.

ERNIE: I never really wanted to U-Turn anybody cause I never wanted to play the game like that.

CINDY: Sorry I am the mean one.

ERNIE: Oh, it’s right there.

CINDY: Sweet. This is greaaaaaat.

copenhagen cindy halvorsen 22

Cindy is the mean one. Nobody ever said about her being the guilty one either.

They start running to the mat.

copenhagen pit stop greeter

Does everybody play the accordion at their job?

copenhagen phil keoghan 9

“I should have a dog here as a pit stop greeter rather than an accordion when we come back here in six seasons. Dogs are less annoying than accordions.”

phil keoghan dog

“Twenty-five seasons and I get whatever the fuck I want.”

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 16

For the second round in a row, Ernie & Cindy are in a foot race with an all-male pair! Look out!

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 17

This is close!

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 18

Phew. They just made it.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 19

The eyebrow is up. We know what that means.

FIRST PLACE: ERNIE & CINDY

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 20

Cindy jumps up and down excitedly with the freakin’ map still in her hands.

NOTE: There is a dog with a really deep voice that is barking in the background. It is most likely a Great Dane.

dane cook.jpg

Not a Great Dane. . .or a Good Dane, for that matter.

Phil informs them they have won a trip to Fiji.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 21

If there was any leg to use the U-Turn to guarantee victory, this was definitely it. This trip to Fiji would be Ernie & Cindy’s honeymoon after they got married.

So yeah, Cindy made the right call. Perhaps not within the confines of the race, but within the overall confines of their relationship. Not that a trip to Fiji would make or break anything, I presume.

Phil says they will get spaaaas and massaaaaages in a shangri-la.

copenhagen gnome

That gnome has to be the most pampered person in TAR history. How often does this guy need a vacation?!

Cindy said they learned from the last leg when they didn’t U-Turn Andy & Tommy and how they beat them at the very last second, and decided to U-Turn Bill & Cathi who were right behind on this leg.

CINDY: You have to do what you have to do to secure first.

copenhagen ernie cindy halvorsen 22

And a trip to Fiji. In fact, when equalizers become increasingly common on The Amazing Race, securing a trip to Fiji and a shot at Marc & Rovilson’s 1.42 average is really all that matters.

Andy & Tommy are finishing the Detour.

TOMMY: C’mon buttercup.

eric daniel

“They’re stealing our schtick.”

Andy & Tommy complete the Detour in third place.

copenhagen andy tommy 15

“Time to butter up those pecs, bro!”

And here I thought the bodybuilding task wasn’t until next leg.

copenhagen andy tommy 16

Tommy is not going to let him get away with this.

copenhagen andy tommy 17

I guess Andy won’t be the one driving on the road to the pit stop!

Andy tries to open the clue.

copenhagen andy tommy 18

copenhagen andy tommy 19

copenhagen andy tommy 20

eric daniel

“I guess you could say he has BUTTERfingers!”

bart simpson butterfinger

Andy went full on Bart Simpson with this clue.

copenhagen andy tommy 21

Andy has to be the worst clue opener I have seen in 40+ seasons of TAR. Butter or no butter, he can’t seem to get the clue open without a struggle.

copenhagen pit stop 1

We get to see the clue for the windmill. The additional hint of it being on the Frilandsmuseet certainly helps.

Andy & Tommy encourage Laurence & Zac on the way out.

copenhagen group 1

TOMMY: Get that butter, guys!

Get that butter?

ernie-anastos

Is that Tommy’s way of saying “keep fucking that chicken”?

copenhagen u turn 5

Andy & Tommy see the U-Turn board. They are probably expecting to be U-Turned. Andy even asks if their picture is up on the board. He can’t see because of the stick of butter in his eyes.

When they get to the board, they are very surprised to see both slots have been filled.

copenhagen andy tommy 22

“A team that has done well has U-Turned a team that frequently finishes near the bottom or in the middle, and that team U-Turned a team that always finishes the middle. The team that has won five legs, us, has been spared!”

Andy & Tommy collect the next clue.

copenhagen clue

We get to see this clue clearly too.

TOMMY: Can you believe we weren’t U-Turned?

ANDY: No.

TOMMY: Me neither.

I can believe it when a team’s goal was to collect a honeymoon to Fiji rather than make a feeble attempt at knocking out a team that has won five legs. Ernie & Cindy likely concluded that Jeremy & Sandy or Amani & Marcus are doomed to be eliminated no matter what this round.

copenhagen trees 1

Jeremy & Sandy drive down the Road of Trees.

SANDY: Uh, we’re going the wrong direction.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 9

“Say wuh?”

SANDY: Did that say Kobenhavn?

JEREMY: Yeah.

SANDY: Then we’re going the wrong way.

JEREMY: Are you kidding me right now? We want to be going north?

copenhagen sandy cline 3

I don’t think Sandy is picking this time for a ‘Ha ha! Fooled you!’ type of joke.

SANDY: Yeah.

JEREMY: Well. . .if you had told me that, I would’ve known that.

I know what Jeremy means, but “if you told me what I didn’t know then I would’ve known to do that” comes out as a funny statement.

JEREMY: I could’ve. . . .**sigh**

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 10

Holy shit! This shot makes Jeremy’s arm look like a freakin’ turkey leg from a video game!

Marcus says the race is between him and Jeremy & Sandy.

MARCUS: The race is against Sandy & Jeremy. If we finish fifth and not get eliminated, it will be a huge game-winning Hail Mary pass for us. I mean, let’s just throw it up and see what happens.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 17

MARCUS’ NFL REFERENCES COUNTER: 12

Zac talks during the Detour.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 22

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 23

“When we were in a rock band, we always appreciated butter. It’s just what we do.”

copenhagen women 3

“No you don’t.”

LAURENCE: I’ve got butter. Lovely butter.

zazu lion king

“Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.”

Laurence smacks the butter.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 7

LAURENCE: Not bad for a farm boy, eh? I’d buy that from a store.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 24

“Hell, I think I would do a better job than most of the women here. They would be more suited to sew pants and jackets in Malawi. Who else has done a better job with butter on their first try?”

coach i have

“Mine are always perfect.”

Amani & Marcus are fifth to the Detour.

MARCUS (pointing at a goat): Is that a rabbit?!

AMANI: . . .No.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 18

No, that’s a goat, Marcus.

We now present. . .

MARCUS POINTING AT ANIMALS

marcus pollard zebra

“Is that a candelabra?”

marcus pollard camel

“Is that a walrus?”

 

marcus pollard horse

“Is that a penguin?”

copenhagen marcus pollard jet

“Is that an asshole?”

Hey, Marcus finally got one right!

They choose to do the rabbit jumping task.

AMANI:Good lord! It jumps that high!

copenhagen amani pollard 4

copenhagen bunny 4

“Gotta risk it for the biscuit! Or in this case, the Cadbury!”

MARCUS: I can’t even jump that high.

copenhagen marcus pollard 11

“Football wrecked my knees.”

Jeremy & Sandy are still driving.

JEREMY: I can’t believe we. . .missed it.

SANDY: Huh? What? What? What?

JEREMY: Nothing. Nothing.

SANDY: Huh?

JEREMY: Nothing. We’re good.

JEREMY & SANDY: . . .

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 11

Sandy channels her inner Lil Jon.

lil jon get low

WHAT?! HUH?! OK!

Laurence & Zac complete the task.

WOMEN: Perfect.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 25

I hate to stroke Laurence’s ego, but yeah, the women were clearly impressed with his butter more than anyone else’s.

Amani & Marcus shop for a rabbit.

copenhagen rabbit 2

They opt for a rabbit that is ready to hop out of its cage.

copenhagen women 4

The rabbit even tries to get out of the handler’s hands.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 19

MARCUS: I like your spirit. You have my spirit in you. I need you to come home with it and let it fly!

If that bunny grows wings, TAR 19 becomes the best season ever.

Marcus starts SHOUTING at the rabbit as Amani leads it.

copenhagen amani pollard 5

A diagonal jump? Now the rabbit is just showing off.

copenhagen marcus pollard 12

copenhagen marcus pollard 13

Marcus can jump high after all. I think the rabbit’s spirit is more in him rather than the other way around, to be honest.

copenhagen marcus pollard 14

copenhagen marcus pollard 15

I have never seen Marcus this energized before all season, and he is already a high energy guy.

MARCUS: YES! ATTA BOY! ATTA BOY! YES! GO GET ‘EM! ONE MORE! YES! PICK HIM UP! BRING HIM BACK! I GOT TO DO IT, RIGHT?!

copenhagen marcus pollard 16

“I WANT HIS SPIRIT!”

copenhagen golf

We cut to the highways of Denmark once more. Editors love exterior shots this round.

JEREMY: Ohhhhh man. Ohhhhh. You gotta be kidding me.

SANDY: What?

JEREMY: So bad.

SANDY: . . .

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 12

“What?”

JEREMY & SANDY: . . .

copenhagen sandy cline 4

“What?”

Commercial break. We resume.

SANDY: Ask this lady outside.

JEREMY: Yeah.

SANDY: Excuse me. I am very lost. Is this Lingby?

WOMAN: No, no, no.

copenhagen woman 12

Jeremy & Sandy just got mocked by a sweet Danish lady.

homer simpson

“Mmmmmm. Sweet Danish.”

copenhagen house

I bet the kids in those toy cars would do better at this self-drive leg than Jeremy & Sandy.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 13

SANDY: Is it here?

WOMAN: Yes.

SANDY: OK. Thank you.

JEREMY: Thank you so much. This is terrible. Back towards Copenhagen. Oh man. It’s unbelievable.

We head back to the Detour.

copenhagen bull

Marcus asks if this is a penguin.

Laurence & Zac spot the windmill.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 26

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 27

Laurence vaults over the fence gracefully.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 28

So does Zac.

They walk to the U-Turn board.

ZAC: Bill & Cathi U-Turned us.

LAURENCE: This is bloody ridiculous.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 29

That should be on Laurence’s headstone.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 30

“We got U-Turned by somebody old enough to be Zac’s great grandparents.”

LAURENCE: This is a joke.

Nope. You just got U-Turned by old people, Laurence.

copenhagen rabbit 3

Your chariot awaits, Laurence! A rabbit named Chariot, I should note.

Marcus is about to start his turn.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 20

Marcus gives the rabbit a pep talk before they emerge out of the tunnel for the second half.

MARCUS: I need you to work your magic. I’ve had a frustrating day. And right now you can really help my frustration.

copenhagen marcus pollard 17

“If I agree, will you finally let me down?”

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 31

I think Marcus’ frustration has just been helped.

Marcus is calmer with the rabbit when handling it as opposed to being on the sidelines.

copenhagen marcus pollard 18

copenhagen marcus pollard 19

It is all a success and is about to cross the finish line and–

copenhagen marcus pollard 20

The rabbit decides to stop at the last step.

copenhagen marcus pollard 21

Marcus receives the clue anyway in preparation for the rabbit to cross. I guess the only way he can lose the task if if the rabbit somehow goes backwards and knocks down a gate.

copenhagen bunny 5

Finally.

copenhagen marcus pollard 22

Marcus hasn’t said this to Amani on air all season, but he is willing to say it to a rabbit within five minutes of meeting it. Frankly I would probably be the same way.

Amani & Marcus are officially in fourth place as Laurence & Zac build their course.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 32

This task is not proper enough for the Brit! Why, what’s next? A task where we lead squirrels in breakdancing?!

easy a principal.jpg

“Or a school where parents put on a play for the students?”

Amani & Marcus are at the Double U-Turn board.

AMANI: We choose not to U-Turn.

copenhagen amani pollard 6

I don’t think you can ‘choose’ when both slots have been occupied. Just say you can’t U-Turn.

Amani & Marcus read that they must drive to the pit stop.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 21

Marcus is pumping his fist in the car. He is feeling this fifth place finish.

Bill & Cathi and Andy & Tommy pull into the parking lot at the same time.

TOMMY: Bam.

emeril.jpg

How much Emeril did Tommy watch as a kid?

copenhagen pit stop 2

copenhagen run

Hopefully this is a shorter run to the pit stop than in the Malawi leg. Otherwise it is going to be another silver medal for Andy & Tommy.

copenhagen pit stop 3

Yeah, I don’t think it was a far run to the pit stop.

copenhagen andy tommy 23

Bill & Cathi are secretly hoping they are in fifth place right now because it means their biggest competition will go home.

copenhagen pit stop 4

I don’t know how, but a pair of 60 year olds got U-Turned and still finished the leg in second place and beat the team who has won five out of seven rounds of play.

SECOND PLACE: BILL & CATHI

copenhagen bill cathi alden 22

In fact, I can’t think of another time where a team was U-Turned and arrived in second at the pit stop.

THIRD PLACE: ANDY & TOMMY

copenhagen andy tommy 24

“We would’ve been second if Andy didn’t take thirty seconds opening the clue.”

TOMMY: We’re psyched for Cindy and Ernie. They deserved this one.

CATHI: We don’t have quite the kindness in our hearts.

BILL: It’s like kicking your mother and father to the curb.

copenhagen bill cathi alden 23

NOTE: In November of 2017, Ernie & Cindy arranged for their parents to go into a nursing home. They were only 68.

Jeremy & Sandy are driving.

SANDY: Turn here. Oh yeah. This is it. C’mon let’s just run.

JEREMY: Where’s the freakin’ box? It’s got to be down here.

SANDY: This isn’t where our clue is.

Jeremy & Sandy are at the location for the rabbit hopping Detour. Laurence realizes this and whispers it for the camera.

SANDY: Urrrrhhuuuuuuhhh. We’re having a day.

Laurence picks a rabbit that he assumes is a fast runner.

SANDY: It’s right here.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 14

“I wonder if we got any fan mail?”

SANDY: Don’t do All Huffed Up. It looks hard. Let’s do All Churned Out.

(They go through the gate.)

JEREMY: Hi.

Laurence & Zac start running with their rabbit.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 33

Laurence can’t even run as fast as his rabbit.

LAURENCE: That rabbit is on steroids. I can tell. He is showing off. He must be friends with Bugs Bunny.

copenhagen rabbit 4

“I can tell he is on steroids because I used to inject animals with HGH before talent shows. It’s what I do.”

SANDY: What a day we’re having.

JEREMY: We got to make six of these.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 15

Usually I would make another masturbation or handjob joke here, but Jeremy & Sandy are giving me nothing unique to work with in contrast with the other teams to find a new way for me to be funny.

LAURENCE: Good luck, Zac. May the Rabbit Force be with you.

bolivia mark bill 8

Laurence is quoting Star Wars more than Mark & Bill did in TAR 13.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 34

“ZAC! I know the rabbit is friends with Bugs Bunny because I used to be Mel Blanc’s assistant in the 60s! It’s what I do!!!!”

Zac crosses the finish line.

LAURENCE: That’s joyful.

copenhagen zac sunderland 11

I wonder how much the rabbits are insured for? What if it got injured during this course?

LAURENCE: Goodbye ladies! Love your rabbits!

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 35

“Except for that brown one! It was a wanker!”

copenhagen rabbit 5

“You son of a bitch.”

We watch Jeremy & Sandy churn butter. Next week their Detour will be Watch Paint Dry or See Grass Grow.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 16

Sandy puts her feet into it.

JEREMY: Mine’s gettin’ pretty good.

Laurence & Zac collect their clue in fifth place. It is a solid fifth and only seven kilometres to drive. Jeremy & Sandy are so screwed.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 36

There is no reason for them to be last this round.

Jeremy & Sandy keep churning butter.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 17

Sandy looks for approval from the judges to confirm she is on the right track.

copenhagen butter judges

They preserve their poker faces well.

Amani & Marcus run to the mat.

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 22

They are optimistic.

FOURTH PLACE: AMANI & MARCUS

copenhagen amani marcus pollard 23

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

Jeremy & Sandy keep churning butter.

JEREMY: Make sure we don’t mess up. C’mon.

Laurence & Zac are driving. Laurence wonders why there aren’t any signs for Copenhagen. Zac says they are going the wrong way. Laurence notes this is the way they came.

LAURENCE: I have no idea where we’re going right now.

copenhagen car 1

“All I know is there is a funny little car tailing us.”

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 37

“I really hope Denmark is as small as I think it is.”

Sandy keeps smacking down butter.

LAURENCE: I think we’re getting hopelessly lost. . .we’re hitting traffic now.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 38

Laurence takes deep breaths as Zac doodles the band members of One Direction.

copenhagen cars

It’ll be tough to make a U-Turn on this road. Granted they already made one back at the windmill.

copenhagen laurence sunderland 8

copenhagen laurence sunderland 9

If there was ever a look of despair on somebody’s face, that’d be it.

Jeremy keeps watching Sandy smack down the butter.

copenhagen jeremy cline 4

copenhagen sandy cline 5

Jeremy opts not to use his muscles on this part of the Detour. Perhaps the technique with smacking down the butter is important.

JEREMY: Yes?

BUTTER JUDGE: It’s good.

SANDY: Thank you.

JEREMY: Yes.

(They receive their clue.)

JEREMY: Make your way on foot to the Karlstrup Windmill.

SANDY: There.

JEREMY: Yep. This is it.

Laurence & Zac yell out of their windows for directions to Copenhagen.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 39

“If you don’t help me, my dad will give me The Belt!”

copenhagen direction

They were better off running the seven kilometres to the pit stop rather than driving it.

LAURENCE: OK, which freeway do we need?

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 40

Out of all nineteen seasons, Laurence & Zac had to be on the first one that goes to Denmark.

The lady doesn’t respond to Laurence.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 41

“Asking one of the racing rabbits would have been more helpful.”

JEREMY: We choose to U-Turn no one because everybody has been U-Turned and we’re in last place.

SANDY: Drive yourself to the next pit stop.

copenhagen jeremy cline 5

“We have been the perfect team to U-Turn in the second slot for both legs, but yet have been spared twice.”

Laurence’s frustration continues.

LAURENCE: C’mon. C’mon. Bloody go.

copenhagen cars 1

Laurence drives in the side lane.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 42

Zac taps the roof for good luck.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 43

But fears the worst.

SANDY: Do you know how to get back on the freeway?

JEREMY: Yeah.

Laurence says this is a game of the unexpected and he has been anxious today.

JEREMY: We’re close I think.

SANDY: We got this babe, we got this. I just found Larsens Bay.

Suspense is built up for a few seconds.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 18

Oh my word. This is one of those rare times where a team that leaves the previous route marker in last ends up not being last to the pit stop.

copenhagen phil keoghan 10

Phil tries to remember who they are.

PHIL: I am please to tell you you are still in this race.

FIFTH PLACE: JEREMY & SANDY

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 19

JEREMY: You serious?

SANDY: No.

JEREMY: It’s amazing we’re still in this.

SANDY: I think with only five teams left, it gets more and more competitive.

JEREMY: If we can focus on ourselves, just us, we’d probably do better.

copenhagen jeremy sandy cline 20

You guys got more confessionals than Andy & Tommy this round. Well done. This is also their third narrow escape of the season.

We listen to the annoying accordion player just one more time as Laurence & Zac enter.

copenhagen pit stop greeter 1

“No one is watching me play, captain.”

copenhagen pit stop 5

Folks take photos of Laurence & Zac.

LAST PLACE: LAURENCE & ZAC

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 44

The sailors were eliminated next to a ship. How fitting.

Zac says they were lost for two hours on the way to the pit stop.

andre damon taxi

“Two hours? TWO HOURS?! Two hours and Jeremy & Sandy caught their ass!”

Thanks Andre & Damon.

Laurence says it is all about living life. He wants to travel the world slowly in a yacht next time. They both say money isn’t everything and that the happiest people tend to be the poorest.

copenhagen laurence zac sunderland 45

And they vanish forever. Never to be seen again.

george michael careless whisper.jpg

And it’s safe to say that Zac is never going to dance again. The way he danced in Denmark, anyway.

Next Time on TAR: Teams act up, spin out, and pose down.

SANDY: I’m going to puke.

CONFESSIONAL COUNT

ANDY/TOMMY 2/3

LAURENCE/ZAC 12/6

ERNIE/CINDY 4/6

BILL/CATHI 4/7

JEREMY/SANDY 4/4

AMANI/MARCUS 3/12

RYAN STORMS 0

NUMBER OF TIMES MENTIONED IN THE ‘NEXT TIME ON’ SEGMENT

JEREMY & SANDY 2

ERNIE & CINDY 2

AMANI & MARCUS 2

JUSTIN & JENNIFER 1

BILL & CATHI 1

LIZ & MARIE 1

EVERYONE ELSE 0

RANK THE LEGS

One) Bangkok, Thailand -> Lilongwe, Malawi

Out of the first half of the season, this round definitely had the best overall design.

Obvious bonus points are awarded for going to a new country in Africa. If I recall correctly, the next new African country is not until Zimbabwe appears in TAR 27, and as of TAR 30 no other countries have been added to the catalogue. Where is the Rwanda visit, production!

We learned something interesting about Malawi other than the African stereotype of people carrying things on their heads. We learned that it is one of the biggest global producers of tobacco. This led to a very physical Roadblock which had comedic value due to how much the locals/workers were dancing and trolling around all of the contestants. We also had that awesome moment of everyone running with Marcus out of the stadium. Well, I know it was a factory, but it felt more like a stadium.

A Detour where teams picked between sewing clothes or building a carton truck seemed reasonable enough. The marketplace and the school were both neat locations. It is also funnier when Sandy gets attacked by a rogue soccer ball and Laurence being inaccurately portrayed as somebody wanting to reinforce gender stereotypes.

Teams shown trying to hire a truck (a private car allowed as a form of transportation on TAR!) or chasing one down is the neat chaos I like to see. Laurence opened the driver’s side door of a moving vehicle! Cindy was freaking out while hanging off the side of the truck, and Laurence & Zac tried to fit the beds into a small taxi.

Seeing teams try to be logical and pay their driver prior to going to the pit stop was interesting. Everyone knows the rules that you must pay your driver before you can check in, but yet two teams made that mistake. The physical labour involved with moving the beds made it Bill & Cathi’s time to shine as well as Cindy finding herself behind bars for the first time in her life.

Andy & Tommy picked up their third win because of another team’s error as well as their fourth win in five rounds making them one of the most dominant teams in the first half of a season ever. They should have been major U-Turn targets by this point.

Ernie & Cindy make small mistakes despite Cindy being a perfectionist. You can see the decline since the Taipei victory taking its toll on her.

It always amazes me how unmemorable all of Jeremy & Sandy’s footage is. They had quite a bit of content this episode, but if you look at other recaps of this episode online or what people say when this episode becomes part of a discussion, Jeremy & Sandy’s journey with the delayed truck, Sandy bleeding, or playing with the children never comes up.

Amani & Marcus suffered a lot of bad luck this leg. They and producers are happy it was a NEL. The top two from Bangkok went to the bottom two in Lilongwe (Bill & Cathi switched to sixth place this round).

I am curious what people thought of every single team choosing their male partner to do the Roadblock. There wasn’t a single woman to be found in one of the most physical Roadblocks that TAR has ever done. It would have been great to see Sandy or Cindy try to tackle it. Especially Cindy because her mixture of frustration and intensity would have been entertaining to watch.

Again, no major alliances or big rivalries are forming. Random teams comment on Bill & Cathi’s strengths or Andy & Tommy running into Laurence & Zac at a couple junctures are the only two points of interaction in this whole leg.

Two) Lilongwe, Malawi -> Senga Bay, Malawi

We enter the second half of the season as the editors make it clear they want us to pay attention to one specific storyline: Either Ernie & Cindy or Andy & Tommy are going to win this season.

The episode was all about Ernie & Cindy attempting to strategize as to how they could overcome a team that just can’t stop winning nearly every leg of the race. Other than the Bangkok bus rides, Ernie & Cindy are the only team to definitively beat Andy & Tommy in the first seven rounds. As Andy & Tommy pass Ernie & Cindy in the round’s final steps, it was very much a mentality of “they won the battle but they haven’t won the war”.

I like that this leg took place in locations we will never see on TAR again. A bunch of random villages several hours away from Lilongwe? Production avoided going to one of the more typical destinations in Africa.

I enjoyed the tasks. A slide puzzle as a one-time Speed Bump isn’t the worst idea in the world. It beats the hell out of untying knots. The Detour was difficult as you were either drained physically or had to figure out how to paddle a boat. Every season of TAR should have a paddling challenge because of how much teamwork it always requires. The cycling Roadblock also proved to be difficult for some of the teams as they were getting lost amongst the many villages spread throughout Malawi.

We also get our first U-Turn of the season. Unlike other ineffective U-Turns which typically go unaired, production decided to show this one. Maybe because the idea of a Jamaica Shop in Malawi was too cool to keep on the cutting room floor or because editors wanted to embarrass Laurence & Zac wasting their U-Turn.

I am sure to this day Jennifer doesn’t know why she was dormant for an hour at the Roadblock rather than go back and meet her partner. According to interviews, that hour is what made the difference in this leg. Just think it would have been Jeremy & Sandy that likely would have been eliminated this round, but were spared with a second-to-last place finish for the second elimination round in a row.

I am going to miss those dancing locals.

Three) Senga Bay, Malawi -> Copenhagen, Denmark

Churning butter? Unique but dull to watch.

The Renaissance Dance task? Dull to watch and only difficult for Zac.

The first ever round of consecutive Double U-Turns? I approve.

The bunny hopping task at the Detour? Amazing!

We had three very old school elements that are rapidly drying up as we head into contemporary TAR—scrambling for flights, self-driving, and a debuting country.

Six teams were spread between four flights and teams were forced to drive themselves through the Danish countryside as well as Copenhagen.

The storyline of Ernie & Cindy’s desire to win and be extremely competitive above everyone else was clearly established this round—even above Andy & Tommy’s competitiveness. They U-Turned a pair of sixty year olds just to win a leg. That is a team that wants to constantly be on top.

The unique nature of the U-Turns being used was also interesting to see play out as none of the bottom rung teams were hit by it. Laurence & Zac pulled the rare feat of heading to the pit stop ahead of last place and end up blowing the drive to the pit stop and get eliminated.

Did I mention Bill & Cathi have gone from the team that finished the first leg over four hours behind teams like Kaylani & Lisa and Liz & Marie to nearly being the first team to win a leg after completing a U-Turn.

Marcus not knowing his animals and the suggestiveness of everyone churning butter was hilarious to me.

And how creepy was that dancer in the final stage of the Roadblock? I’m gonna have nightmares about that guy.

In other news, Laurence & Zac probably felt really really dumb for wasting their U-Turn in the previous leg. I guarantee you they would have U-Turned Jeremy & Sandy this round and would have stayed in the race. Or maybe they just U-Turn Amani & Marcus again. That would have been funnier.

P.S. I want to be a pro at bunny hopping. Such an adorable task to watch!

Four) Taipei, Taiwan -> Joe Jer Carter, Indonesia

First off, thank god production chose to not do the Contradicting Sign Twist ever again.

Racers are instructed to follow what’s in their clue as the primary source of instruction. During the Detour, they were told to give up the Rupiah they earned to the orphanage. It said nothing about giving up your American Dollars. Teams said that even if they noticed the sign (primarily the words of Jenna Morasca) that they still would have followed what it said in their clue rather than some random sign. I believe that since Phil could have penalized them at the pit stop for not following their clue correctly or unintentionally trick teams into giving up precious money for the following round of play.

It is even worse that this twist occurs simultaneously with the Double Elimination. If the sign wasn’t there, Ethan & Jenna finish this leg in ninth and are saved over Kaylani & Lisa. That’s a potentially big change to have a ripple effect throughout the rest of the season.

This round also had what many consider to be the dumbest Speed Bump of all-time. Untying that rope took somewhere between 5-8 minutes based on the order of events on-screen. I am sure the audience was happy to see Bill & Cathi take the lead after doing the Speed Bump, but we all wished they did a bit more to earn it. Sadly nearly every Speed Bump in the future will go on to be a joke collection of tasks. I have been long advocating for a new type of NEL penalty because clearly the Speed Bump is not working.

The Roadblock was a cool location and was a decent task. A spelunking obstacle course was fun.

The Detour wasn’t particularly memorable. Because of the nineteen teams checking into the pit stop, it was one of the most condensed tasks in TAR history. I think we saw about twenty seconds of dancing and about thirty seconds of motorbikes being parked. It didn’t appear to be memorable or difficult.

The only reason this leg isn’t at the bottom is because Indonesia was a brand new location for TAR US. Other franchises beat them there but it was nice for TAR US to get it off of their check list.

Jeremy & Sandy’s only storyline of wanting the Survivor winners effectively comes to an end this round. Watch their airtime dwindle even more.

Justin & Jennifer was more annoying than it was fascinating to watch. I think the pettiness of the fighting outweighed the comedy of it which is a shame. I wish they recorded some of their physical altercations when they were younger, though. Did anyone get a broken nose?

Despite Bill & Cathi dropping to seventh because they had to run several kilometres, it was still a great comeback for a team that finished the first leg over six hours behind almost all other teams. Yes, two massive equalizers helped but at least they are no longer perceived as a team of fodder.

Kaylani & Lisa’s airtime essentially dropped down to nil this episode. For a team that made a huge blunder in the first leg and were extremely lucky to be saved this round, production didn’t want to focus on them when they aren’t doing anything jaw-dropping.

And I think Ron & Bill finished where most people expected them to this season. They were too mellow for the race.

Five) Fuckit, Thailand -> Bangkok, Thailand

I think we were all fearing the same thing: When teams had to take the bus to Bangkok, the possibility of a mass equalizer would have really messed up this round.

Luckily that wasn’t the case, but the luck of what bus you chose shifted the standings more than they should. Thankfully it produced the same elimination outcome, and didn’t truly affect anything long term. However, it was still a silly design.

In contrast to the other Bangkok legs that I have seen, it isn’t the most draining one that I have seen. Nobody fainted or anything. The only exhausted team was Laurence & Zac for needlessly ditching a first class bus or Liz & Marie who had almost no Thai money for most of this leg.

Once again, this season struggles with interesting tasks.

Disassemble and re-assemble a spirit house at a temple.

Feed fish.

Search a river for a couple of minutes to find a wrapped koi.

Wash an elephant as a Speed Bump.

By far the most interesting part of the episode and what makes it rank higher than most of the earlier legs is that the scramble from the bus station to Bangkok Noi to the pit stop caused a lot of trouble for teams. Liz & Marie were given bad directions, Andy & Tommy lost a ton of time by hanging around a school, Jeremy & Sandy didn’t know what the hell to do, and Ernie & Cindy’s bus station frustrations and traffic frustrations led to a big shuffle right before the pit stop.

I mean, the elephants were cool, but this was the fourth episode in a row where we have seen an elephant this season. It was like a stampede.

Producers trying to leave a hint for teams to take notes on the spirit house was also a slight boost for this episode. Seeing people like Andy & Tommy, Laurence, and Ernie shut down the notion of re-assembling the spirit house was funny to watch. It wasn’t a bad idea for a Double Roadblock implementation.

Once again, a significant amount of airtime is dedicated to Ernie & Cindy and demonstrating the contrast in their personalities, and how they handle a major confrontation with a local. Given the circumstances, they didn’t go over-the-top in the moment and handled themselves quite well in confessionals when talking about the incident. Producers really want to make it their season, and give them a relatively positive edit.

However, not everyone was able to get away with a positive edit this round. Andy & Tommy stirred up a huge controversy that is still talked about online to this day. Even months after the episode aired, Andy & Tommy couldn’t respond to it in a way that produced much forgiveness from the online community. I am interested where the conversation would have gone if one of the interviewers wanted a more extended dialogue about this topic and give themselves a chance for redemption or be clearer about what they exactly meant. Because as it stands, Andy & Tommy are stuck being ranked 702nd out of all TAR teams worldwide by another TAR expert.

Another team that didn’t get such a positive edit was Laurence & Zac. Even with Bill being significantly older, Laurence was the one who came off as the grouchy old man. He told Zac not to take notes and then complained that Zac couldn’t memorize a series of subtle details while claiming he himself could do it without a single hiccup. Fast forward to the end of the episode where Phil mocks Laurence more than I have seen him mock anyone for jumping off of the first class bus.

Amani & Marcus and Bill & Cathi managed to go from frequent cellar-dwellers to claiming the top two spots for this leg. Neither team got much airtime because bigger storylines were going on, but at least we got to see both teams thinking they were the bottom two simply because of what has transpired in the past four legs. I bet both teams were riding a huge high before heading to Malawi. They were the teams that broke Andy & Tommy’s attempt to grow a hat trick into a grand slam.

Lastly, let’s talk about Liz & Marie. They received a significant amount of content in their elimination because of the unusual circumstances. It was an increasingly rare scenario where a team had to fight through multiple episodes without any cash and seeing their position continue to decline into a state of hopelessness. However, they absolutely LOVED playing with elephants in their Speed Bump. They would have probably traded the million dollars for the chance to play with elephants. The brief storyline of playing this race in honour of their recently deceased father was an added touch. None of the scenes seemed unnecessary.

P.S. Jeremy & Sandy fought through their issues like normal people.

Six) Los Angeles, California -> Taipei, Taiwan

I hate Starting Line tasks. I hate pointless Speed Bump-esque penalties that aren’t entertaining and/or serve no purpose to the race other than ‘look at this repackaged twist that we are pretending is brand new!’

I am becoming increasingly more open to NELs in the season premiere, and surprisingly I am okay with the setup for the Double Elimination twist. Eliminations in TAR have always been arbitrary, and choosing to eliminate the bottom two teams in exchange for saving a team this round is perfectly fine with me. . .even with who eventually goes home because of it. -_-

I like that producers didn’t use a single clue box this round. We had a tough billboard challenge that left old people scrambling for five hours.

The other tasks weren’t particularly interesting to watch.

The umbrella task came down to pure luck for most teams at the starting line and led to a pointless penalty that was even more pointless because of the NEL. It just cost us precious Taipei time.

The Hazard required only one person to participate while their partner did nothing.

The dragon boat task wasn’t really a task. It was all to be done in a fixed amount of time for the most part. They had twenty people helping them.

The Confucius Roadblock was alright. I wish the phrase was just a little bit longer, but was enough to stump Liz for a really long time.

I am seeing evidence of why this season doesn’t make a big impression on people. You either didn’t like the twists or were indifferent to it, and no major storylines really developed.

Cindy is controlling.

Marcus loves football.

Kaylani & Lisa had the worst start ever in TAR history, but somehow finished the leg in ninth. How far can they go? And that whole incident with Reality Fan Forum was a memorable moment.

Bill & Cathi are nice. Hopefully they don’t screw up this second chance.

Ethan & Jenna were on Survivor.

Premieres need to either grip you in with story or be hilarious to make people settle in for the ride–this was neither.

Overall, the good cancels out the bad and leaves us with a very mediocre season premiere for TAR.

Seven) Joe Jer Carter, Indonesia -> Magelang, Indonesia

This leg is definitely the worst out of the first three in terms of design.

Easy cycling task where the only way the order changed is if your bike had an unintentional malfunction.

Both sides of the Detour were quick and uneventful. Either plant rice in mud or fill up grass to an arbitrary line that was either accepted or rejected based upon questionable criteria, fill buckets, and herd goats. The bags of grass still mildly annoys me since some of the teams’ bags looked really full.

The Roadblock and the Pit Stop were in the exact same location. That means whether or not you happened to settle with your cab beforehand solely determined who went home because all of the teams were close together. In other words, it was a roll of the dice to figure out who was going home.

Andy & Tommy won another leg because of a team ahead of them being penalized at the pit stop. We don’t know why the penalty was determined to be fifteen minutes rather than the standard thirty. Perhaps because the leg was so short and linear that a fifteen minute penalty was the equivalent to a thirty minute penalty in other legs.

Ernie & Cindy received a huge amount of attention during this leg as a team being aggressive and skilled at the race, and Amani & Marcus rallying from certain doom were the two key storylines of this leg. Oh, and Bill & Cathi are old people who can’t stand in tall grass. Everyone applauding whenever they complete a task is kind of hilarious as if they aren’t capable of going far in the race.

Lastly, we hit upon Kaylani & Lisa’s only non-passport storyline. Kaylani has a young child at home that she misses. Phil, Lisa, and hopefully others successfully convince Kaylani that she isn’t disappointing her daughter. It was a roller coaster for a team that goes home in the second elimination leg of the season. Considering they originally checked into the second pit stop in tenth, and Phil was on his way to eliminating them in the first leg, they are probably grateful they got three rounds in The Amazing Race.

This leg would have been much stronger if they travelled to another part of Indonesia that was outside of Java.

Eight) Joe Jer Carter, Indonesia -> Phuket, Thailand

This leg was excruciatingly linear and took place in a shorter amount of time than the leg in Joe Jer Carter.

Other than Liz & Marie struggling at the Detour and Justin & Jennifer’s usual antics, the only source of conflict in the whole episode was Jeremy & Sandy. It was extremely uneventful and was a very ‘normal people’ type of fight. Seeing two level-headed people butt heads in a diplomatic way does not make for entertaining television. If it was hilariously calm or hilariously overboard, then yeah, we want to see it, but otherwise it doesn’t need to make it beyond the editing room suite.

After TAR 14’s teams refused to do a Fast Forward for charity, we had it as one of the two Detour options. While many teams switched tasks, it seems like the amount of time lost was very minimal for everyone except Liz & Marie.

In fact, all of the mistakes this leg other than Liz & Marie cost very little time. Ernie & Cindy’s compass clue was easily corrected, Laurence & Zac were able to follow another boat, Jeremy & Sandy had to shuffle a few chairs, and Amani & Marcus couldn’t find the pit stop for a few minutes in a very limited area to search.

Setting up umbrellas and chairs was lame as a Detour task until the gusts of wind happened. The coral cage was cool and fighting the current was a legitimate challenge.

The compass task of directing your boat thirteen minutes to an island using a medallion was neat on paper, but ended up being relatively easy for everyone.

The rock climbing Roadblock was perhaps the easiest version of it I had ever seen. Maybe the ladder from Family Edition is the only one that was easier. There was no way for Liz & Marie to make up time in this round. It all truly came down to the Detour.

The floating village was bland. I wish they had done something there or showed neat things about the village. It looked like a lifeless ghost town to me unlike the Cambodian floating village from TAR 13. Production could have done so much more with it.

I don’t know why there was such a big deal made about the arrival of the flights when there was a mass equalizer to make it all pointless. Those scenes could have been cut down so much more.

And Liz & Marie were really really really lucky that they didn’t need any Thai money beyond the initial taxi ride. This leg made it obvious that Liz & Marie aren’t destined for a deep run into this season in contrast to everyone else.

No major storylines were developed this episode. Laurence & Zac messed up sailing, Liz & Marie messed up at something similar to being lifeguards, and Marcus struggled with a sports stadium. All were amusing little moments.

And yeah, this was the perfect leg design for Andy & Tommy. I estimate their morning was done in less than two hours. After three consecutive leg wins, Andy & Tommy secured their spot as the biggest target of the season.

RANK THE TEAMS

One) Laurence Sunderland & Zac Sunderland

Laurence gave me plenty of material for jokes. He is perhaps the most British racer ever to race in the American version of TAR. It’s like what would happen if a cousin of Andy & Laura’s decided to invade this season.

I have a feeling most of what Laurence said was taken out of context because editors clearly wanted to give him a hard time. It was frustrating for him but hilarious for me.

Laurence telling us he would be an expert on something he had never done while Zac messes up that task at the Roadblock, wanting everyone to go to bloody hell, viewing unusual things as being bloody ridiculous, not knowing the rules of the race when it comes to transportation or completing challenges, and accidentally phrasing a statement that made it look like he thought women should always be able to sew. He also managed to screw up navigating on the ocean when it’s something he should know inside and out. Oh, and he U-Turned a team that was ahead of him before being U-Turned himself on the very next leg.

Other than TAR 8, Zac was the youngest contestant TAR US had ever seen. He didn’t have much to say or anything. However, Zac’s presence was required for Laurence to play off of him and give us those hilarious soundbytes that made Laurence a good racer for me to work with in my blogs.

Poor Zac.

Two) Ethan Zohn & Jenna Morasca

This is more of a ranking to reflect Ethan’s presence rather than Jenna’s. It is always how I have felt about this seven year dating couple on Survivor. Their Survivor personalities were repeated here in TAR 19. Jenna was always pissed off and making big mistakes like forgetting the Detour clue while Ethan was positive, interesting, and fun to watch.

Editors appeared to have very little interest in showing Jenna. They wanted Ethan to do all of the talking which was probably wise in their limited run.

Out of all of the teams to go home on the first elimination leg, Ethan & Jenna rank high up there in terms of attention attracted by the other teams. There was a surprising number of scenes where teams were talking about how much they wanted Ethan & Jenna eliminated from the race. Thankfully Ethan & Jenna weren’t completely segregated as they were shown having fun with teams like Laurence & Zac and Andy & Tommy.

It is a shame that the Contradictory Sign and the Double Elimination twist had to combine their bad taxi driver to put them in a guaranteed spot to be eliminated. I am sure Ethan was mildly embarrassed to be eliminated because of a task that required them to give money to charity.

This was supposed to be Ethan & Jenna’s epic return to competitive reality TV, and they are barely a footnote in this season. In fact, Ethan nor Jenna have not made another appearance on Survivor or TAR since then. They really should have taken that initial offer of competing against each other on Survivor: South Pacific.

I am sad. My ten year old self wanted to watch Ethan try and win again.

Three) Kaylani Paliotta & Lisa Tilley

In the first episode, they lost a passport and were saved by social media moments before Phil was going to eliminate them at the airport, thereby cancelling the Double Elimination twist.

In the second episode, they were about to be eliminated but were one of only three teams to correctly read a sign at an orphanage.

In the third episode, Kaylani missed her daughter. Then was eliminated.

That is the three episode story arc of Kaylani & Lisa.

Their opening confessional was making a comment that viewers and their opponents would only see them from the breasts and upwards. They also wanted to break the stereotype that models and showgirls have on The Amazing Race. Did they break the stereotype? Overall, probably not, but is it really Kaylani & Lisa’s responsibility to break that and rocks should be thrown at them if they didn’t succeed at that objective? Of course not. They’re just people.

I am amazed how invisible they were in the second episode. We see Kaylani cry at the pit stop and that’s it.

I am glad they found a new friend in the form of Ryan Storms ™ because of their TAR experience. That’s not a story you read about too often.

Four) Justin Young & Jennifer Young

It was tough ranking Justin & Jennifer in contrast to Liz & Marie.

Liz & Marie were one of those teams you knew were doomed to go early on TAR, but literally provided us with some running jokes on their way out.

Justin & Jennifer were a more capable team, but didn’t provide a huge amount of material.

I was surprised by how much editors pushed them onto us in the early episodes. I have spoken to other fans about this online, but they didn’t recall Justin & Jennifer fighting as much as they did until they read these blogs. That scene at the Jakarta train station ran for a while. The paddling Detour in Phuket was also another one of their more memorable fights too, and Jennifer having such a vivid sassy face that even Phil was trying to replicate it made you realize they were supposed to be one of the bigger characters of the season.

However, fast forward six years later and almost nobody remembers them. I mean, TAR 19 is generally agreed upon as the least memorable season of TAR ever, but even when TAR 19 is discussed Justin & Jennifer are never mentioned. Liz & Marie, Ethan & Jenna, and Kaylani & Lisa are all talked about more than Justin & Jennifer.

They have the best average (4.27) of any team to exit in seventh place up to this point in TAR’s history worldwide. It’s just that one mistake which put them out early.

Hopefully this blog gives them some sort of legacy.

P.S. As of TAR 30, they are the last brother/sister team to compete in TAR US.

Five) Liz Canavan & Marie Canavan

Much like Kami & Karli in TAR 5, a pair of female twins were a complete disaster on The Amazing Race. They didn’t try to board a plane without a boarding pass, but still.

You knew the chances of an all-female team winning this season was not very high after the first episode. Kaylani lost her passport and Liz couldn’t memorize a couple sentences in English. Literally.

They frequently hovered around the bottom and finished in eighth or worse in four out of their five legs. Their race truly ended at the start of round four when they forgot to exchange their Indonesian money into Thai money. Round four didn’t require much money, but Liz & Marie dropped to dead last due to their inability to fight the elements at the Detour. They finished round four hours and hours behind the other teams, and needed to stop and beg for rides non-stop in round five. I don’t think producers ever expected them to do well at any point this season.

There is something about twins on TAR where both racers think too much alike and are more prone to blatant blunders. I doubt twins will ever win a season of TAR because you need two people who think and perform in a slightly different manner.

eric daniel

Sorry guys.

This was confirmed by the fact that they kept finishing eighth over and over until they were eliminated.

Prior to the start of this season, I had absolutely no memory of anything Liz & Marie did. Thankfully now we have the Indonesian currency error and the running joke of overusing the word literally.

So yes. Liz & Marie now have a legacy in TARstorian. They will never be forgotten. You’re welcome.

In short: Nice people; terrible racers.

And that’s okay.

Six) Ron Zeitz & Will Smith

I don’t have much to say about Ron & Bill. They liked sweating through blue shirts, Bill didn’t know how to dance, and had fun with Phil when they were eliminated.

Ron received very little airtime in contrast to Bill. None of the other teams ever talked about them, and they were never shown interacting with the other teams.

They just wanted a fun adventure as a couple. Unfortunately, their lack of hustle kept them on the bottom after their initial arrival at LAX. In fact, LAX is a great way to describe how they ran the race.

They were somehow eliminated before other teams who almost always struggled this season.

Team Averages

Below is a list of all teams from seasons I have blogged to date, ranked by racing average.

e.g. Don & Mary Jean finished 9th, 8th, 8th, 8th, and 8th. Add up the numbers and divide it by the number of legs they have played.

Therefore their average is 8.2.

Because of how long this list has become, I only show the relevant section where the eliminated team from this episode has fallen amongst the ranks of what TAR history has to offer.

6th Brian & Greg 4.71 TAR 7

5th Erwin & Godwin 4.70 TAR 10

3rd Adam & Rebecca 4.69 FF and Used Yield and Yielded, saved by NEL once TAR 6

9th Duke & Lauren 4.67 TAR 10

3rd Hussein & Natasha Saved by 4.64 NEL once TAR Asia 4

6th Gary & Mallory 4.625 TAR 17

5th Lori & Bolo 4.6 – FF, saved by NEL once TAR 6

6th Jet & Cord  4.56 – U-Turned, saved by NEL once TAR 18

2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF TAR 3

6th Chris & Anastasia 4.50 TAR Australia 1

8th Kris & Jo–er, Amanda 4.50 U-Turned TAR 14

5th Paula & Natasha 4.45 saved by NEL once TAR Asia 2

4th Louie & Michael 4.36 saved by NEL once, used U-Turn. & trained wolf cubs TAR 16

5th Uchenna & Joyce All Stars 4.33 – FF, saved by NEL once TAR 11

8th Joe & Heidi 4.40 – Blind U-Turned with Injured Knee; TAR 16

6th Laurence & Zac 4.375 Used U-Turn and U-Turned TAR 19

1st Dan & Jordan 4.33 – FF once TAR 16

3rd Brent & Caite 4.33 – Used U-Turn TAR 16

4th Jess & Lani 4.3 TAR Asia 4

7th Justin & Jennifer 4.29 TAR 19

4th Kisha & Jen 4.27 Saved by NEL once, U-Turned once TAR 14

3rd Brian & Ericka 4.25 saved by NEL once TAR 15

8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF TAR 2

–B minus–

3rd Ray & Yolanda 4.23 saved by NEL once TAR 9

5th Gary & Matt 4.22 saved by NEL once and c—blocked once in Saunabuss TAR 15

3rd Nicolas & Donald 4.18 FF and U-Turned TAR 12

4th Linda & Karen 4.17 Saved by NEL once TAR 5

3rd Charla & Mirna All Stars 4.15 TAR 11

6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.) TAR 2

5th Paolo Family 4.13 FF and Used Yield TAR 8

5th Lynn & Alex 4.11 TAR 7

5th Dave & Kelly 4.10 TAR Australia 1

2nd Sam & Renae 4.083 Saved by NEL once and Used Express Pass TAR Australia 1

5th Andy & Laura 4.00 – Yielded TAR Asia 1

This entry was posted in The Amazing Race, The Amazing Race 19, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Amazing Race 19 Episode Eight Rankings

  1. Jaxon says:

    Vidste Logan at Herre Jeremy Cline er den eneste fyr med dansk etnicitet der nogensinde har racet? Sammenlign Jensen-søstrene Lena og Kristy samt Hockey-Dronning Fru Meaghan Mikkelson-Reid. Ernies norske kælling-røv ville have været deres slave for nogle få århundreder siden!

    “Did Logan know that Mr. Jeremy Cline is the only guy with Danish ethnicity to have ever raced? Compare the Jensen Sisters Lena and Kristy as well as Hockey Queen Mrs. Meaghan Mikkelson-Reid. Ernie’s Norwegian bitch-ass would’ve been their slave a few centuries ago!”

Leave a Reply to Jaxon Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s