The Amazing Race 30 Funniest Complaints Pre-Season Edition

With the premiere of TAR 30 just 24 hours away, the complaints from the casuals are as predictable and lame as ever. With two previous TAR contestants chiming in, this should be fun! Let’s dive in!

30 pre complaints 2

Wow, I didn’t expect the 5th place contestant from TAR Asia 5 to comment. What I did expect however was for him to make a comment about the team of models in the cast. On the other hand, what I also didn’t expect was for JK to talk about a pair of models having something ‘huge’ and follow it with a noun that had nothing to do with their bodies.


You’re learning, JK!

30 pre complaints 3

“I don’t want gimmick casting that’s meant to please the lowest common denominator. . .but I want them to cast a season full of teams that are meant to please the lowest common denominator!”

peggy claire

Although any theme of early boots that results in the Gutsy Grannies being brought back to see if they accidentally die on the race course this time around would be a hilarious experiment.


Hell, let’s throw Mel White in there too to up the odds.

30 pre complaints 4

That’s right! You shut your goddamn mouth about these people not being real people, and just acknowledge the fact JOEY CHESTNUT IS AN AMERICAN LEGEND for eating 70 hot dogs in 15 minutes!


Although eating 70 hot dogs in 15 minutes should also make Parvati Shallow an American legend. . .

30 pre complaints 5

I HAVE a question. . .how do YOU determine WHICH words are CAPITALIZED for emphasis IN your sentences?

30 pre complaints 6

If TAR 24 wasn’t the first season you decided not to watch, then I think you’ll be watching TAR 30.

tar 24 intro

Can you believe we all were willing to waste twelve weeks of our lives investing in this pile of a shit season? I mean, if I wanted to hear an old man yell about how his life wasn’t unfair while everything was coming up Milhouse for him in the end, I would walk outside for ten minutes and go to my downtown district.

30 pre complaints 7

eric daniel

That’s right. The team that we will be rooting for this season is the every day twin firefighting plaid-shirting dudes from the South. Such a common archetype in middle America.

30 pre complaints 8

I don’t know if Rachel won BB so much as producers were freaking out saying “oh shit if we don’t have Pandora’s Box when we are down to six then Kalia is going to win. Shit shit shit shit MAKE THEM TEMPORARY DUOS! WE’RE SAVED!”


Could’ve been on TAR 20 then make an old man angry over nothing in TAR 24. Oh, the alternate timelines.


It’s like The Legend of Zelda but replace the ocarina with shitty reality show seasons.

30 pre complaints 9

Another season proposed of gimmick casting to replace gimmick casting and a guy complaining about the token gay couple. You don’t like token gay couples, Joseph?

dr dre van

But what about a tokin’ token gay couple? A team that is down with that REAL sticky icky–WOOOO WEEEE!

30 pre complaints 10

Why is everything about Cody and Jessica?


How is every single thread turning into essays about Cody & Jessica? This thread put out by CBS had nothing to do with them! At this rate The Simpsons will have a couch gag in season 31 about Jessica & Cody. My god.

30 pre complaints 11

singapore allan wu 7

I think Allan Wu’s cameo in TAR 16 is the closest we’ll ever get.

And why are Chris & Alex referred to as Diaper City?

chris alex intro

Is it because everybody pooped themselves when they passed Tara & Wil during the run to the finish line?

And if Cowboys are the “mine champion” of casual fans. . .then we’re in a lot of trouble for season 31.

30 pre complaints 12

This is still the thread about the winners but somehow it gets turned into a thread about politics and Jessica & Cody. . .or maybe one of the goat yoga instructors is a secret gold digging hooker and one of the NBA players is a deadbeat dad. In fact, that’s the secret twist!

30 cast.jpg

They are ALL gold-digging hookers and deadbeat dads! All twenty-two of them! Maybe even Phil and/or Bertram! I CRACKED THE CODE! I CRACKED THE CODE!

30 pre complaints 13

Guys. . .they were just posting about the twenty-nine teams that have won The Amazing Race. I don’t think CBS would post a list of future winners. Especially if TAR 31 may not even happen at this point. . .nor has it even been filmed.

30 pre complaints 14


30 pre complaints 15

justin diana

Maybe they just wanted to please two of the guests at the official starting line who will be podcasting about them? Gotta please #TheGreenTeam

30 pre complaints 16

How is a team that saves lives daily have anything to do with animal abuse?

lucas brittany.jpg

Except for that time when a shark caught onto somebody’s arm at the beach and wouldn’t let go, and Brittany had to beat the shit out of the shark with a stick until it let go. She suppresses that memory well.

adam bethany

Who knew that young girl Brittany saved would go on to be a future Amazing Race contestant.

30 pre complaints 17

Actually, Big Brother 19 was the most-watched primetime television show in Iceland for 2017. They couldn’t be happier about Paul’s downfall. It was the talk throughout all of Reykjavik.

shopping bag lady

Even the Icelandic Shopping Lady from TAR 6 couldn’t help but be glued to her TV!

30 pre complaints 18

I wonder how much people would be pissed off if they had TAR 31: CEO Wall Street Billionaires Edition for next season.

“They’re regular people! Just. . .just rich as fuck.”

30 pre complaints 19

Welcome to Generation Y, Alecia


“You can be anything you want! Just never give up on your dreams, man!”

Now let’s move on to what everyone thinks of the Ivy League educated team Henry & Evan (a.k.a. Not Jessica & Cody).

30 pre complaints 2030 pre complaints 21

henry evan

Perhaps the most intelligent thing of all is to not have six figures of student loan debt. Henry & Evan would have a tough time debating against that. They are already losing against the casual fans which is not the best start.

30 pre complaints 22


All we can hope is that they are far less douchey than celebrity ring girl Arianny Celeste. Like, a lot less douchey. In fact, I bet Arianny was the initial pick for TAR 30 but was so douchey that Dessie & Kayla were chosen as the back-up plan for production’s back-up plan to back-up their back-up plan.

30 pre complaints 24

cedric shawn.jpg

But Sheri, there’s nothing regular about two guys who are around seven feet tall!

mark michael intro 2

siberia mark michael 5

They’re taller than five Mark & Michaels stacked on top of each other!

30 pre complaints 25

well strung.jpg

At least they are nicknamed #TeamWellStrung instead of #TeamWellHung for CloudNimbus’ sake.

30 pre complaints 26

Well that was a delayed criticism of an irrelevant use of a U-Turn that took place three seasons ago.

30 pre complaints 27

Ah, somebody is exploiting Jessica & Cody’s casual fan attention for their own social media usage. How original.

30 pre complaints 28

The Doctors? Could you be more specific?

cindy rick 2

Were you talking about Cindy & Rick, right?

30 pre complaints 29

Yes, CBS is notorious for rigging their seasons of The Amazing Race in favour of minorities against White people. How about we discredit anything a pair of minorities do on The Amazing Race, eh? -_-

I am moving on. . .

30 pre complaints 1

His bitch? This isn’t The Amazing Race: Prison Edition, Wldrose.

30 pre complaints 23

For those of you not aware, this is Dessie & Kayla’s catchphrase in the preseason interviews of The Amazing Race.

dessie kayla

“Anything you can do, we can do together.”

Yeah, about that. . .


They’re fucked.

Now let’s cut to a random discussion about somebody watching old school Amazing Race and about LGBT representation in one of the more hardcore Amazing Race groups. It’s true. The US version rarely ever ever casts all-female couples in contrast to other TAR franchises. Let’s see how this civilized discussion plays out.


ron burgundy

Seriously? We went the Ron Burgundy route in a civilized discussion? Very well, Thomas.

No matter where I look, the TAR community is giving me reasons to drink.

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5 Responses to The Amazing Race 30 Funniest Complaints Pre-Season Edition

  1. Funny you compared Tim and Joey’s outfits to Justin and Diana’s. I saw Justin at the starting line and told him that “they’re giving your green team moniker a run for its money.” Plus I got to pet their dog!

  2. When the next season of this show will be come i am looking for Amazing race Australia next series

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