Amazing Race Canada 5 Episode 10 and Episode 11 Casual Fan Complaints

I survived covering this awful season.

10 1

vietnam song 2

U.S. veterans may or may not disagree.

10 2

conchords not crying

“These are just tears from onions I have chopped because I am making a lasgna!”

10 3

Reading through a complete breakdown of The Amazing Race Canada’s budget sounds like the most boring thing imaginable. . .

.

.

.

But yet I am as intrigued to see the complete breakdown as you are. I hope CTV and Bickerton stockpiled those receipts for public release!

10 4

If I told you it was at Wal-Mart or Winners, how disappointed would you be?

10 5

sam and paul

CTV thought spoiling Sam & Paul being first to the U-Turn board in Ottawa during filming just wasn’t enough, eh?

10 6

Either this person gave up on TAR Canada 5 or they are watching two seasons simultaneously.

And I’m gonna bank on the latter.

mickey pete.jpg

Or a different type of bank that Mickey and Pete use when it comes to Nicole.

 

bmo

And BMO is of course the only business that you can safely “bank on it” in this blog.

10 7

You can’t.

24 cast

Because TARC is thinking of attempting to replicate this disaster.

10 8

Oxford: Cattle based products and monkeys in courts.

kanga roo

Granted I prefer kangaroo courts.

And yes, I now fully expect the hometown of the author who wrote Winnie The Pooh to be visited next season.

10 910 10

We all want a TARC 5 do-over. . .but for completely contrasting reasons.

10 11

Another post that had a picture of Sam & Paul prior to the finale.

xzibit

Not even Xzibit has pimped somebody out this much on TV.

11 1

“FUCK! WHY DID I LOG ONTO CANADIAN SOCIAL MEDIA AFTER THE FINALE OF THE AMAZING RACE CANADA AIRED?! WHY WOULD YOU ALL RUIN IT FOR ME?!

bruce willis the sixth sense

P.S. he was dead the whole time.

rosebud.jpg

P.P.S. It was also a sled.

11 2

Trust me on this: You do not want to hear my dad try and speak French.

justin diana

Or Justin.

11 3

You take that back! No place is more special than Nelson, BC!

roxanne 1.jpg

It was the place where they filmed Roxanne!

11 4

No. NO. NOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

michael scott.jpg

Who the fuck took this survey? How the hell did Kevin & Ryan score eighteen more percent than Karen & Bert and Korey & Ivana combined?! I hate this whole Canadian fanbase.

11 5

The audience from the first four seasons were so much better than this.

10 12

Tsawassen is in BC. Not the Yukon. Get your geography shit together, Sara.

yukon

Here. I circled the two locations for you.

11 6

I don’t know, but after hearing 131 Give’Rs after eleven legs and an After The Race special, you can count me in to that death toll.

11 7

sportz

“I want them to be eliminated from the season, no homo. . .phobic.”

10 13

Jessica continues on her warpath to annoy my friends. This really sucks. Sigh.

11 8

Mystery solved. *dusts off hands* Your work for this season is done.

10 14

I’m so glad the Judys didn’t cry. They can celebrate their mutual dryness!

.

.

.

That didn’t sound right.

11 9

And I hope you booked off the following day JUST to listen to my podcast about the finale and the After the Race special, which, you guessed it, was after After the Race!

10 15

Who were the brother and sister tea?

cardamom

The Cardamoms? Wasn’t that a Norwegian pop group?

cardigans lovefool.jpg

Love me, love me. . .

11 1010 16

Don’t you mean PAR-TAR?

11 11

Wow. Best comparison ever.

And don’t exaggerate, Nabih. It was an average of TWELVE times per episode.

ron jeremy.jpg

This is Kevin & Ryan’s future.

10 17

Revenge’R! Revenge’R! It just doesn’t same ring to it. . .nor revengfull.

11 12

2002, is that you? 2002? I can’t believe we’re still having this conversation seventeen years later.

Way to ruin it for us, Maria! To quote the great Iona. . .

pussycat dolls

10 1811 13

Where do I even begin to unravel all of this? “What’s a time thing”? Are you telling me somebody is on the Internet and hasn’t even HEARD of DVR. Not even heard of it!

And crokinol sounds like a prescription drug I would dispense for patients in a pharmacy.

fluoxetine

Crokinol: May lift you up enough so you can truly give’r every day on the regular!

 

10 19

Jacqueline, no spoilers!

And you know Sault Ste. Marie has very little going on when their episode had to resort to using elementary school students just like the Regina leg did.

 

11 14

Alright guys. I have decided to come up with the #DOOFINCREDDIT challenge.

If you have a Reddit account and you are a fan of TAR, please message Doofinc asking what their thoughts are on “Kevin and Ryan” and repeatedly work in the name Kevin into the rest of the message to him. Hilarity ensues.

10 20

Where the hell did the Anti-American remark come from? He just presented factual information. My god. Also, nice pecs.

11 15

Wow.

dave thomas.jpg

Dave Thomas’ character had a bigger awareness for comedy than some of the folks on Reddit.

11 16

ken ryan

Eh, it’s better than our alternatives. . .and why did they incorrectly spell Kevin’s name? That’s just mean.

11 18

lol

11 1911 20

after the race.jpg

And yet they didn’t pick any of my tweets. 😦

11 21

#BarelyKindaCoolIGuees

11 22

What tweet you talkin’ about, Willis?

11 23

I don’t think Ella was trying to make an over-the-top statement about LGBT superiority, Mr. Blast. Come to think of it, Mr. Blast sounds like the distant cousin of Ron Jeremy and Kevin & Ryan.

11 24

On a serious note, this is the type of audience in TARC that I am afraid has stuck around for the degeneration of TARC–the audience that views TARC as nothing more than a sport rather than a competitive reality show designed for entertainment.

james duthie canada 2

The more this turns into a sporting environment, the happier Mr. Blast gets.

11 25

Hot flashes? Does Jon Montgomery suffer from menopause?

11 26

Follow @mjharmstone to get the complete breakdown of Give’Rs by episode, including After the Race. Spoiler Alert: Grand total is 131.

11 27

When Sam & Paul and Kevin & Ryan superfans go after each other, my heart grows three times its size.

mariusz

Like a well-known steroid user.

11 28

Nah, Sam & Paul will just blow it all on strippers and cocaine. Trust me on this.

11 29

Thanks for your input, Chris. Glad to see you watched the whole season with us.

11 30

Fixed? Why in the world would you think that? They’re not a cat or a dog!

bob barker 2

“Get Your Mark Lysakowski spayed or neutered.”

That is more than I needed to know about the production team.

11 3111 32

. . .So Maxx doesn’t understand editing.

11 33

high noon

Go home, Kurt.

11 34

I didn’t know Jet & Cord were friends with Kevin & Ryan.

11 35

If it makes you feel better, Sam isn’t a doctor yet. The fame of being on a Canadian reality show is going to go to his head and he is bound to flunk the semester.

11 36

Oh honey. . .no.

11 37

korey ivana

They’re right. Straight men and women can’t be friends. There MUST be a hook-up! No one will stop pursuing the questioning of their presumed Friends With Benefit status until one of them comes out of the closet!

11 38

This season felt like one big TAR piss break, to be honest.

11 39

jody cory.jpg

Nah, I think we’re good.

11 40

Why do we have two guys who blatantly ignore the rules of the English language as the team who has the biggest influence over Canada’s youth this season? Am I the only one troubled by this?

weird al

That’s a word crime if I have ever seen one.

11 41

Actually, Sam & Paul won in all other books.

11 42

Multiple people think this, eh?

11 44

*Casual Fan Favourites. Not, you know, actual fan favourites.

11 45

John and Audrey secure a point.

canada 11 17

Yes, bless CTV and the producers of Amazing Race Canada. . .for producing the absolute worst season I have seen since TAR 24, and tied for the second worst season of all time internationally of all English language seasons to air on TV.

Oh my god. I did it. I made it to the end of the season. I followed through with my commitment to this season! I mean, I won’t be posting during TAR Canada 6 if it is a returnee season or if the series does not make the necessary changes, but my god! I did it! I actually fucking did it! Hooray me!

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