Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Amazing Race Canada 5 Episode 9

A Double U-Turn, an episode in one of the most remote locations in Canada, and a heavy sponsour presence equals a whole lot of complaints for this week.

canada 9 1

The Fleurdelise weeps more and more with each season of TAR Canada. Eventually the tears of blue in the background shall turn red as unity amongst the masses begins to form. The shirtless selfies as Trudeau runs past The Ruby shall come to an end as he shall be spat upon like the citizens of Wullerton!

canada 9 2

I can’t wait for the day where a team in TAR US or TAR Canada is saved by three or more NELs and goes on to win this season.

prague henry terri reed 10

It would be like what would happen if Henry & Terri won TAR Asia 2.

canada 9 3

Eh, I’m sure Natalie & Meaghan could fail it more than thirteen times.

natalie and meaghan

I mean, just look at how they did with a five-hole. They’re better off handling a stick rather than a pencil.

canada 9 4

Is everyone binge watching TARC this week?

canada 9 5

Boo Korey and Ivana?

boo korey ivana.jpg

I’m pretty sure three-person teams are illegal in TAR.

canada 9 6

Who the hell are JayOnrait and patterballs?

canada 9 7canada 9 8

Yep, I haven’t heard of either of these fuckers. The celebrity casting is already going well!canada 9 9

You mean American Gladiators but without the pro wrestling heels to block you?

wesley berry.jpg

And without the almighty Wesley “Two Scoops” Berry!

canada 9 10

Oh. . .are you sure you want to tweet that?

canada 9 11

Clearly he couldn’t live off of his pension. He’ll be giving out clues for the rest of his life.

canada 9 12

tomson highway

Please let Tomson Highway be the host. He is one of the few people capable of outdoing Monty.

canada 9 13

The first rule of Fight Club is we don’t talk about an All Stars.

canada 9 14

ginuwine pony

Thank God Ginuwine didn’t have to choose a horse in this leg.

canada 9 15

HAHAHAHAHA sports.

james duthie 2

Oh fuck off, Duthie. I wasn’t talking to you.

canada 9 16

Is it the line of the show this week? I could’ve sworn the line of the week was “this season is almost over”.

canada 9 17

The real dark horses are the dark horses that are in the stables whose feces Karen and Bert just cleaned, Lynda.

brent leroy

And people from Saskatchewan aren’t all crazy randoms too, Lynda.

canada 9 18

Andrea loves oranges and loves kids? Well let’s combine the two!

orange kid

You either have Orange Kid from EarthBound or. . .

oompa loompa.jpg

You have Andrea’s idea of Heaven!canada 9 19

Bare luck? Um, that means they have had no luck.

canada 9 20

I didn’t laugh. I thought the puns were fucking lame. If anything, it boiled my honey and grilled my hive.

canada 9 21

It shouldn’t be surprising, Pedro. The gays are always doing it. Again and again and again. Just like, well, anybody that isn’t Connor and/or Jonathan.

canada 9 22

But what are you going to do for the other 23 hours of your day?

canada 9 23

Next level “man, I really need to get outside more during the summer but am completely unaware of it”.

canada 9 24

monopoly snes

But without advertising, this would be TARC’s budget.

monopoly snes 1

But thanks to Chevrolet and the powers of the chunkiest soup you can find on the market, the budget is more like this.

canada 9 25

mentos

Hey, just think the past three seasons were sponsoured by a candy that results in businessmen liking it so much they give it a blowjob.

canada 9 26

The school has its own Twitter????

canada 9 27

fubar.jpg

I don’t recall that from the movie.

canada 9 29

ag? ag?

ag.jpg

Saskatchewan thinks of itself as being only as good as silver–not even gold.

canada 9 30

I don’t think the word “Iconic” has ever come up this season.

iconoclast

Iconoclast, however, has.

canada 9 31

breakfast club

Don’t you. . .forget about a serving of orange juice.

R.I.P. John Hughes, by the way. One of the best.

canada 9 32

holly and brett

Man, it’s really been that long since Brett & Holly were relevant.

canada 9 33

What’s in that glass? Cardamom?

canada 9 34

Way to leech off of a hashtag. . .although BMO Amazing Race sounds more interesting than this season.

bmo

And I hear each task is just each team making a wish.

canada 9 35

samwell

If this is all it took to win over fans, Samwell would be the most popular TAR Canada contestant ever.

canada 9 36

You sure about that?

canada 9 37

calgary mayor

And how did you not take a picture of this guy while you were there?

canada 9 38

dumb and dumber

It is fitting since they visit a place called Mockin’bird this week, yeah. It’s spelled without the ‘G’, yeah. Mockin’bird yeah.

canada complaints 9 11

FerFer sure don’t like equalizers. She would love TARC 3.

canada complaints 9 10

I didn’t see two cuties–all I saw were two Goofy Newfies desperate to be on TV and instantly become the most famous people in Newfoundland (and Labrador) by default.

And my opinion won’t change! I don’t care how much cheesecake you bribe me with!!!!!

canada complaints 9 9

It is. . .something.

jeremy sandy

Jeremy & Sandy are also. . .something.canada complaints 9 8

Lowell really doesn’t like somebody one-upping him, eh?

canada complaints 9 7

trailer park

I think Ricky and Bubbles would be first to complete that task.

canada complaints 9 6

He may or may not change his mind by the time he grows up.

canada complaints 9 5

. . .Is it?

canada complaints 9 4

What made you change your mind? A sense of poise and rationality?

panic at the disco

Yeah, I made a Panic At The Disco! reference.

 

canada complaints 9 3

You are biased. Really biased.

canada complaints 9 2

I feel bad for the place that has snow in the middle of May.

iqaliut.jpg

Another trip to Iqaluit may be in order!

 

canada complaints 9 1

How can he be a superfan? I haven’t heard of him and hasn’t even listened to our podcast.

canada 9 39

I think that may or may not have been BMO Amazing Race rather than a spontaneous season of TARC being filmed.

canada 9 40

Hopefully not an ode to its finale. . .hell, even the Cabotage episode when curling took place was hated by the casual fans. This is a really great way to troll them.

nick matt canada

Nick & Matt don’t give a shit about your feelings two years after the fact.canada 9 41

Andrea is probably thankful that Montreal is a really big city. Like, 112 times bigger than Moose Jaw.

canada 9 42

sunny d.jpg

Based on this. It’s much better than that purple stuff.

canada 9 43

Very not happy? Very not happy?

canada 9 44

I know this round featured an elementary school classroom, but why are people constantly referencing their young children on social media?canada 9 45

Sam & Paul are buffoons?

sam and paul

Drunks maybe, but buffoons? No.

canada 9 46

Do you think she’s the bees knees?

tom nook.jpg

Yeah, I made a Tom Nook joke.

canada 9 47

There may not have been a bad team in your opinion, but we definitely had a bad season!

canada 9 48

Le sigh.

canada 9 49

No. Parents should be responsible enough to make their own fucking breakfast for their kids–not rely on Leeann Sebner or whatever her name is to put a team together to do it for you.

When I was a child, my breakfast would consist solely of a banana or apple, a fruit roll-up or wagon wheel for lunch, French Fries and vegetables for dinner, and a bun with mustard as a snack.

Eventually the buns with mustard was traded in for crackers. Probably because it made me think of Johnny Mustard.

canada 9 50

Actually I have friends who had really shitty parents. I can assure you many do not do what they can and instead hit up the liquor store for a whole lot of booze. Or use worse substances. Trust me on this. I live in BC.

styles p good times.jpg

You’d be surprised how many parents will wake up in the Styles P’s default “Good Times” position on the bathroom floor each morning.

canada 9 51

Aren’t all Speed Bumps shit nearly one hundred percent of the time?

canada 9 52

fubar

Is the DVD Fubar?

canada 9 53

china dogfight

A task that is better than a bunch of kids with sticky cookie hands and are sniffling snot all day? Um, how about a challenge involving a bunch of dogs?

canada 9 54

Considering Adam & Andrea went home, I think their plan succeeded.canada 9 55

Truth be told, I would be making fun of nearly every town I visit on TAR Canada. Especially Sudbury.

big nickel.jpg

I mean, all they got is The Big Ass Nickel.

canada 9 56

Debbie wins Ironic Comment of the Season.

canada 9 57

. . .Jessica is annoying me already.

canada 9 58

How can you not like Team Give’R?

1) They repeat the same obnoxious catchphrase 59 times in 9 episodes.

2) They never be their true selves.

3) They obsess over Sam & Paul.

4) They are way too loud.

5) They don’t even give credit to Fubar for creating their catchphrase.

I could go on, but do you want me to?

canada 9 59

Somebody sounds thirsty.

canada 9 60

kelso burn

BURN!

canada 9 61

. . .Jessica is really annoying me.

canada 9 62

Please tell me you are not watching Big Brother this year.

paul.jpg

Unless you want to watch this guy give 1, 000, 000 confessionals for three months.

canada 9 63

Impromptu trivia for Glenn and he FAILED!

canada 9 64

Chris may be the smartest fan of them all.

canada 9 65

We missed out on a Prohibition Era task because of CAMPBELL’S SOUP?!

campbells.jpg

I am Mmmmm Mmmm Disgusted!

Man. Prohibition Era is one of the coolest things from the 20th century and all of those Al Capone and Dick Tracy stories. I love that stuff. I can’t believe we missed out on the most fitting opportunity for that.

zed shabbir

Maybe Zed & Shabbir can explore that in their Chicago documentary.

canada 9 66

Lisa scores a few points. Churchill, Manitoba is the only location I have listed in the province for TARC to visit.

emirates polar bear

It’s the only town in the world where polar bears outnumber people!

invercargill polar bear

Ethan & Khairie would love it there.

canada 9 67

#PossessAttitudeNowBeChillLater

canada 9 68

Filip Lambert’s name suggests he may or may not be biased.

canada 9 69

Hal Johnson REALLY needs to be on All Stars.

bodybreak 2

If Hal & Joanne come back for TARC: All Stars, I promise to get a T-shirt made that says “Keep Fit and Fuck Off” and wear it each episode.

And you know I am not kidding about this.

canada 9 70

Yeah, we always see teams falter in the finale in TAR Canada after winning many legs in recent years.

gino jesse canada

steph kristen

So common.

canada 9 71

There used to be a time where Gord & Wayne were superfans of TARC.

canada 9 72

CTV was intending to target millennials, but man, so many of the positive comments I see about this season are from the elderly crowd. It’s hilarious. CTV achieved the exact opposite of what they were hoping for.

duracell.jpg

Before you know it, Duracell will be a sponsour and we will face a barrage of hearing aid related tasks.

canada 9 73

Seeing casual fans bicker while Kurt is the voice of reason is hilarious to see.

canada 9 74

The elderly tend to be forgetful.

canada 9 75

Speaking of forgetfulness. . .

dan riya

I forgot they were on this season until now. R.I.P. With their pile of React videos.

canada 9 76

Well, this is the most exciting thing to happen to Sault Ste Marie in quite some time.canada 9 77

Defeating the competition = cocky.

tech n9ne

Sam & Paul are the Tech N9ne of TARC.

canada 9 78

I can’t wait for TARC to visit the US.canada 9 79

I think Karen has come up with a brilliant theme for TARC 6.

Gangsters vs. Rapists.

al capone.jpg

VERSUS

bill cosby.jpg

What a theme that would be. Now THAT would bring in millennials!

P.S. I actually love Megan & Courtney. Feel free to send me cheesecake, ladies.

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