Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Amazing Race Canada 5 Episode 3

I am a week late. It’s like working for eleven days in a row and having visitors in town during the same stretch can postpone my blogging or something. Oh, and I leave tomorrow after work to go see Snoop Dogg. Snoooooooooooooooooooooooooop!

canada complaints 3 1

Posts like these make me wonder what Karl Marx would think of The Amazing Race. If The Amazing Race was not a competition maybe it could be called. . .The Amazing Scenic Apathetic Adventure?

canada complaints 3 2

It’s too fast? Just listen to Jon Montgomery in 1.5x speed.

chipmunks

He ends up sounding like one of Alvin’s fucking slaves.

canada complaints 3 3

ghost.jpg

NO GHOSTING!

canada complaints 3 4

Courtney Love? Courtney Love was on The Amazing Race Canada?

kurt cobain

I think the Express Pass was infused with the spirit of Kurt Cobain.

canada complaints 3 5

So we’re just not gunnah spell words that are barely words correctly anymore or even try, eh?

canada complaints 3 6

bryan adams.jpg

This guy.

canada complaints 3 7

Numbers! Numbers!

canada complaints 3 8

Damn your negativity, Harmstone!

canada complaints 3 25

24 cast.jpg

This is the best we got from a pool of over 200 teams.

Imagine what you will get with a pool of just over 50 teams. Then re-think your words.

canada complaints 3 26

OK.

canada complaints 3 9

I can’t wait for TARC 6. With more international destinations, we can finally filter out these fucking morons and make the casual fan community fun again.

YOU JUST WATCHED A LEG TAKE PLACE AT SELKIRK COLLEGE IN THE KOOTENAYS!

canada complaints 3 27

Just be lucky they went out this early. Next episode is going to feature an eating challenge involving cheesecake and a hot dog eating challenge.

canada complaints 3 10

Yeah, who knew Kenneth & Ryan would win a prize that involves knowing your way around a college that Ryan attended for two years.

ken ryan

But, you know, Give’R. Sigh.

canada complaints 3 28

I fear for Canada’s future. Cut cable now before more damage is done.

canada complaints 3 11

Nobody cares about Express Passes and/or your hometown being featured on TARC.

canada complaints 3 29

Fiji is being promoted on TARC?

shamir

Did the nation sponsour TARC casting calls just like they did for TAR US?

canada complaints 3 12

They were as sweet as cheesecake. ^_^

 

canada complaints 3 14

Maybe Triple Express Pass will balance things out and means we will get no lousy Speed Bumps this year.

canada complaints 3 15

This is just insulting considering I started Castellano lessons a month ago.

canada complaints 3 16

It was either voice acting or become an Olympic athlete.

.

.

.

jon montgomery hands

He chose the less lucrative one. Jon might be literally the only Canadian Olympian to make any money after his career.

canada complaints 3 17

. . .So far. Keywords.

 

canada complaints 3 18

Future Duthie is at it again. I have heard of third wheels but this is just ridiculous.

canada complaints 3 19

Well, they were in Vancouver during the season premiere. What sports team plays in Vancouver again? Can anyone remind me?

vancouver whitecaps.jpg

WHITECaps? I fucking knew it.

canada complaints 3 20

Ladies and gentlemen, the KKK has been mentioned in two consecutive complaint blogs. Impressive.

canada complaints 3 21

Because the twist is a waste with only two international exceptions. But I already discuss it on the podcast this week. I don’t need to dive into that again.

canada complaints 3 22

Didn’t you watch the season premiere? The Fairmount Hotel may broadcast it for free if you book a room there.

canada complaints 3 23

Roger, I was worried for you for a second.

canada complaints 3 24

Recency bias much?

canada complaints 3 1

Just wait until you see the smog in Beijing. And you thought there were visibility issues in Castlegar!

canada complaints 3 2

Stop advertising your business on TAR Canada.

sinorama

TAR Canada has enough sponsours as it is.

canada complaints 3 3

TIL: A new Internet acronym. I assume GFYS means Go Fuck Yourself based on this context, but this is the first time I have ever seen that written online.

I certainly didn’t expect to learn that from a woman named Linda.

flight of the conchords murray hewitt

“GO FUCK YOURSELF ZAC!”

My favourite scene from Flight of the Conchords.

canada complaints 3 4

There is not much difference between Nelson and Castlegar. One filmed a movie with Steve Martin. The other didn’t.

roxanne

Yep. A Steve Martin adaptation of a 19th century play was indeed filmed in Nelson, BC. Just picture Steve Martin with a Jimmy Durante nose.

canada complaints 3 5

big orange bridge.jpg

Well, if Castlegar had more pot smoking hippies who did snowmobiling or had a big ass bridge, you would have had more time spent in Castlegar.

And hey, another thing Castlegar could have done is change its name to a Simpsons character.

nelson muntz

Just wait until next season when Smithers, BC is used as a location for one of the legs!

canada complaints 3 6

OHOHOHOHOHOHO so edgy. What’s your next suggestion?

triumph

Teams fly to a rural town in Quebec and everyone has to shout “Are you a separatist? You want to separate? Shhhh. Shhhh. Hear that? That’s the sound of nobody giving a shit!or “I only know the basic French expressions like ‘I surrender'”.

gsp

Just don’t say it when GSP is around.

canada complaints 3 7

Are we going to see Stephen Mota on TV? It’s not even fifteen minutes of fame. . .this is fifteen seconds of fame! He’ll be the most popular person in all of the Kootenays outside of the leader of Bountiful in Creston.

canada complaints 3 10

5-3. Glad to know the majority was not composed of fucking idiots.

canada complaints 3 8

Is this a spoiler? Does this mean they will be traveling to Swift Current next season?!

swift current

Surprisigly, one of the few towns in Saskatchewan where the number of tumbleweeds does not outnumber the citizens.

canada complaints 3 20

I know TAR 21 and 24, and Survivor: San Juan Del Sur have all aired over two years ago, but everybody knows that Natalie & Nadiya were. . .you know, Sri Lankan right?

mia

Not Natalie nor Nadiya.

canada complaints 3 9

Da fuq?

canada complaints 3 11

The thing that upsets me the most about this exchange is somebody spelled ‘hoot’ or ‘woot’ as ‘whoot’. Which word were they going for? Or are they trying to have a new celebratory yell catch on in the mainstream?

canada complaints 3 12

ALL HAIL SINORAMA!

canada complaints 3 13

 

Wow. I bet Adam & Andrea and Andrea & Ebonie did not anticipate they would be catalysts for the third wave of Quebecois separatists. Man. Season five is truly raising the stakes, and the Triple Express Pass had nothing to do with it.

canada complaints 3 14canada complaints 3 15

I was about to make fun of Ron’s spam, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THE DETOUR TOOK PLACE AT A COLLEGE THAT RYAN ATTENDED FOR TWO YEARS?! No wonder he won the 5k prize at the pit stop, and why it would be impossible for them to lose the three-way drive to the pit stop.

This would have been amazing if this season had no Express Passes. Team puts on fake personas, creates obnoxious catchphrase they repeat 28 times in four episodes (yes, that is the tally thus far), and loses in a self-drive leg where most of the round takes place in a very specific area that they are far too familiar with on TARC.

Screw you, Triple Express Pass. Screw you.

canada complaints 3 16

I can’t believe I encountered someone online who has absolutely no sense of humour, and is absolutely clueless when it comes to my role in the TAR community.

29 8 1

29 8 2

After Redmond hugging me twenty times at the TAR 29 finale, you think people would have understood the hilarious (and awkwardly intimate) friendship between Redmond and I. . .but nope.

canada complaints 3 17

I dream for the day that James’ tweets include the hashtag #RTVWarriors. Until that day, I shall weep with great sorrow. As will Kurt and Shelley, and Gord and Wayne.

canada complaints 3 18

At least it wasn’t delayed because of death!

london claire champlin 15

canada complaints 3 19

Cause TARC is gonna TARC! Next season they are going to cast a group of elderly people, people in their 20s who never go outside, people who smoke two packs per day, those who are severely obese, and round it out with those who go through salbutamol and Symbicort inhalers in the span of two weeks.

kurihama mel white 6

And Mel White will host!

Alright, that does it for me for this week. . .or for this hour. I have another week to catch up on? You freaking kidding me?

In the meantime, much love y’all and be kind to one another. Keep fit and have fun!

P.S. I don’t know exactly what the tragedy is that was mentioned by a fan regarding Megan and Courtney, but sending positive vibes their way to get through this difficult time. . .whatever that may be.

 

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