Here we are once more. I pretty much pwned with predicting and analyzing TAR 29. Now I’m back to see if I can keep this up for TARC 5 or if I shall be waaaaay off like I was with TAR 28.
I was pretty rad with my editing analysis and predictions for TARC 4, if I recall correctly. If I’m wrong with my recollections, I don’t care.
Give me a second to pause my video of Dolemite, and do this!
LEG TWO PREDICTIONS (The following is the order I expect everyone to arrive at the next pit stop)
1) KENNETH & RYAN – 1.0 Team Average
As I experience the Seven Stages of Grief, I have already survived the Denial round.
2) KOREY & IVANA – 2.0 Team Average
Our panda team is unlikely to be BAMBOOzled anytime soon. A round in Fort Mac should be up their alley.
3) SAM & PAUL – 4.0 Team Average
Our top four teams for a leg should be easy to predict given that it is expected to be one of those “One-dimensional physical rounds in the middle of nowhere” that is becoming all too familiar for TAR Canada.
If Sam & Paul finish in any position other than third or fourth, I’ll be surprised.
Mainly it is because if the Express Pass is formatted the same way as the past two seasons, and only the strong teams can afford to go for it as they will have enough time to temporarily sacrifice their top position in the race.
Sam & Paul seem like the type of team bright enough to take that risk and not sacrifice much time in the process.
4) ADAM & ANDREA – 3.0 Team Average
Team Quebecois Mystikal seems very well-rounded, and I am not talking about an aspect of Adam’s tightrope technique.
They haven’t blown up in our favourite Quebecois fashion as of yet, but you know it’s coming. That fuse just won’t blow in Fort Mac. Be patient.
5) ZED & SHABBIR – 5.0 Team Average
While our province of British Columbia is burning (two new breakouts here in Vernon just this afternoon, sadly) hopefully lights a big enough fire under Zed & Shabbir to hold a position in the middle of the lineup.
I know Zed won’t be finishing this leg in leadoff like Bautista does today, but hey, one slot behind clean-up ain’t bad.
And as long as Shabbir doesn’t make confessionals about his age like older contestants like to do on TARC and indirectly shabbotaging himself, the middle is where they shall be.
6) ANDREA & EBONIE – 7.0 Team Average
I don’t know what to make of this team–or anybody from the province of Quebec, come to think of it.
They took a penalty on the very first task, but held their own in the remainder of the round.
So do we just split the difference for the second round? I don’t think they will be around for the endgame, but I do not see them going home terribly soon.
7) THE OTHER RICHARDS – 6.0 Team Average
Dirt Grittie’s muscles are going to be so jealous that he won’t be doing the firefighting challenge using the hose next week.
No, it’s not a spoiler. CTV released the press pictures and promos for the upcoming episode. So chill. Forward all complaints to CTV and Mark Lysakowski. Thanks.
8) MEGAN & COURTNEY – 9.0 Team Average
Megan & Courtney wish they could substitute in fellow Newfies Dana & Amanda to tackle a ropes course and a firefighting task.
Sadly, that twist is instead being reserved for TAR Celebrity China season 6. Megan & Courtney are going to have to tough it out for this round. It’ll be as funny as when that kid gets blasted by the fire hose in the movie UHF.
I really really hope that I am right about the Goofy Newfies being one of our stars for this season, and that they do deliver as much entertainment as I expect from them.
9) DAN & RIYA – 8.0 Team Average
I can’t see Dan & Riya being able to handle a leg that appears to be extremely physical from start to finish. Part of me thinks they just aren’t prepared for what they are about to endure this season.
I assume the second round NEL twist will be repeated from TARC 4 because I can’t see producers eliminating a team during a one hour dedication to the Fort Mac tragedy.
It would be hilarious if producers decided to do so anyway because that would be my type of sense of humour, but this season is not one where producers and I have seen eye-to-eye thus far.
WEEK TWO WINNER’S EDIT PROJECTIONS (The following is the order of those who have the best chance of winning based on the edit set forth by production)
1) DEPUTY MINISTER PATANA
He wasn’t even in this season, but his edit was so incredible in TAR Asia 5 that I feel like it is going to carry over nearly a year later in TAR Canada 5.
2) KENNETH & RYAN
Some people like to watch the world burn. . .and Amazing Race franchises that aren’t handled properly by producers.
I really really really hope Kenneth & Ryan start playing themselves instead of fusing together a couple of characters from independent films they saw in their early 20s.
3) KOREY & IVANA
If they get shuffled down in the coming weeks, you wouldn’t be surprised. Neither would I.
Based on the forty minute episode, they appear to be billed as a team that is important to the season. I just can’t figure out as to which capacity as of yet.
4) THE OTHER RICHARDS
Maybe it is just because I really like them, but Karen & Bert received a lot of content in the opener. Their faults were downplayed thanks to Bert’s performance on the tightrope, and they have had one of the most positive reactions on social media.
Meanwhile, the minor faults of other teams were shown in a much more prominent fashion in contrast to how far Bert & Karen were at the start of the leg.
They will hopefully move further up this ranking in the coming weeks.
5) ADAM & ANDREA
It’s going to take more than shaking your ass at the Roadblock and landing on your nuts to have the best winner’s edit at the end of the premiere.
I think Adam & Andrea are going to make a deep run, and I am intrigued to see if their edit will remain as strong as it was in the first episode. They were shown interacting with other teams at the Morse code challenge. That cannot be ignored.
6) ZED & SHABBIR
Inspirational quotes won’t put you at the bottom of the winner’s edit list, but it ain’t gonna put you at the top either.
7) MEGAN & COURTNEY
Our Newfies are of the utmost goofy, but now they need to channel their inner Kelis and demand respect.
8) SAM & PAUL
For a team that is supposed to be extremely strong on paper, it is interesting to note they were barely shown in the first episode. If you do not have a big presence in the premiere, you rarely win TAR and definitely don’t win TAR Canada.
9) ANDREA & EBONIE
CASUAL FANS: OMG!!! THEY ARE SUCH IDIOTS FOR TAKING A PENALTY ON THE FIRST TASK! THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE THERE! BURN THEM!!!!11111111ONERONEONEOEONEOENOENE.
10) DAN & RIYA
YouTubers + UTR edit in the season premiere = Probably ain’t gonna win.
There you go. I podcasted about the first episode, responded to the casual fan complaints, and posted my winner’s edit and predictions analysis.
Now let me go back to what I love doing and work on my TARstorian blog for TAR Australia’s Israel episode. I need to do something for me!
P.S. A leg set in Fort McMurray with three Express Passes? Production has never gone this far out of their way to ensure I don’t make it out of a TAR season alive. -_-