After a season of TAR Asia where no Asian viewers complained about anything, we take it back to the Western hemisphere where. . .well, if you have been following this blog over the past several years, you know casual fans in America and Canada love to complain about The Amazing Race.
I missed out on the first two weeks of complaints due to being a world traveler, but alas, I have been resurrected on this Easter Sunday to bring you the goods. Let’s get to it!
Even your six year old can’t stand Shamir? Let it be known that six year olds can’t stand a lot of people. Like, if you don’t give them a cookie then they just angrily stomp off yelling that they hate you.
Or maybe the six year old demographic truly hates Shamir, and CBS already ran the focus groups on it. They hate him more than having to complete a work sheet while watching The Magic School Bus.
Roadblock: Who wants to get baked into a pie?
And yes, I am sure producers would love Brooke and Shamir teaming up.
Brooke’s bruised elbow + Shamir’s bruised balls = Endless hours of fun!
And a nice and strong team went home? Is that a question or a statement?
Or a deplorable woman. Take your pick!
Yeah, I hear Elimination Station is just one big orgy this year. It will make Jeff and Jackie look like amateurs.
But on a serious note. . .
Sara doesn’t mind it that Logan constantly talks about his muscles.
Acceptable: Saying Shamir needs a tampon and a midol pill.
Unacceptable: Saying Shamir needs to grow a pair.
I for one thought the complaint would fall under the same category, but clearly I was mistaken.
Wow. Get out.
Did you know that when teams were awarded leg money at the start of the episode, Redmond only received 160 dollars instead of 320 dollars? Producers can’t stop picking on him.
Holy recency bias, Batman.
What is worse? Shamir constantly talking about his balls or people like you and me always talking about Shamir’s balls?
“Why is nobody talking about my balls anymore?”
That tally is less obscene than my tally of keeping track of all of the times Brent McSweeney vomited in TAR Canada 3.
I hope that insult was worth the one ‘like’ you got. Well, it trumps my zero ‘like’s. You may be onto something.
Wait, wait, wait, who is Redman? Is there a twelfth team? Holy shit holy shit, you can’t possibly mean. . .
#TeamDaRockWilder would be the best fucking team ever. Crazy Roadblocks rule Everything Around Me! U-Turns U-Turns, y’all!
Is it BRILLIANT or REALLY STUPID! Go through the list of teams to be eliminated first. Do you think you can find a well-balanced cast from a pool of just twenty-nine teams? I have gone down this road with you guys before. We’re barely halfway there to putting a compelling season of first boots together. Why is everyone obsessed with this idea for every reality show in existence?
I. . .uh. . .I don’t think you have to worry about that anytime soon. If ever.
Lots of people would argue with you about that. How ironic.
I thought it said “pretty” as first and thought it was an over-the-top compliment. Thankfully, I re-read this.
I do get a kick that you included their team’s hashtag just to ensure Ashton searches this and reads that she is petty as fuck.
You know which other person is “petty as fuck”?
This guy. When he is on social media, he won’t back down from people like you. He stands his ground.
Speaking of Petty fans, this guy needs to stop being petty and get over his whole ordeal with Mousasi. Jesus.
Really? We already had a season like this.
And it did not go well.
What are Amercians?
Are they a cross between an Armenian and an American? If so, I suggest casting a season composed entirely of teams from North Hollywood.
Dafuq did I just read? Are you really going to make me look up the stats on this?
TAR Canada: 1/2 legs in India had NELs.
TAR Asia: 2/4 legs in India had NELs.
TAR US: 6/18 legs in India had NELs.
TAR Canada has never been to Africa.
TAR Asia: 1/2 legs in Africa had NELs.
TAR Australia 1 and TAR Australia 3: 0/3 in Africa had NELs.
TAR US: 11/36 legs in Africa had NELs.
Why don’t you go sit down now?
10:00pm IS late. For some people. Even though I am 25 years old, I have been waking up at six o’ clock in the morning, and am lucky to see eleven o’ clock at night.
And I hated the Disney Channel as a kid. Does that mean my mom was a bad parent? If you think so, you can go screw yourself.
You think Redmond is a girl? I know Redmond had a leg amputated, but just because he is missing a leg does not, in fact, change his gender identity. I know in 2017 some people are trying to wrap their minds around sexual orientation and gender identity, but man, some people have a long way to go.
The producers changed? Nope. Pretty sure Elise and Bertram are still at the series’ helm (with more influence from CBS than usual due to declined ratings, but you get what I mean).
Handicapped pricks? Handicapped pricks? HANDICAPPED PRICKS? I didn’t even know that was a reality TV casting archetype. I know there are lots of mactors on CBS reality shows but where did this outpouring of handicapped pricks come from? How much did I miss in four months of backpacking across Europe and Cuba?!
Actually, Big Brother 18 had an average of nearly six million viewers, and CBS is expanding the game to 100+ days again for the upcoming season. They are currently trumping TAR by nearly two million viewers. I don’t think artificially boosting Big Brother has anything to do with The Amazing Race.
But first, let’s acknowledge that Julie Chen is the weakest competitive reality show host out there, but has managed to last nineteen seasons. How many more times will she screw up somebody’s name in a competition or mess up the explanation of the rules to a challenge? Only time will tell.
Wow. This discussion derailed quickly.
The mom and deaf son who lost their passport in Russia?
Man, did I forget about Margie & Luke’s fourth run at the race? Geez. My memory of The Amazing Race is certainly getting hazy.
So Margie & Luke are musicians now too?
I am not one to take a religious poll of the twenty-two contestants this season, but I think The Amazing Race 29’s dominant religion would indeed be Christian.
Spoiler Alert: Some Christians are transgender. Who knew!
How did it backfire?
#TeamPrickAndPrack. Catchier than #TeamAssholes. What do you think Redmond?
Since when did Dr. Evil enter the comments section?
An alfa male?
Is this what you mean by alfa male?
On one hand, I can’t help but admire the Microsoft PowerPoint fluency to create this poster. On the other hand, I can’t help but be troubled that somebody went this far out of their way to diss Redmond. They colour coded it and everything!
Blame this guy.
What is wrong with that guy’s television?
He probably used the Big Head cheat from Major League Baseball featuring Ken Griffey Jr. for the Nintendo 64.
For some reason, I can’t see production condoning that team hashtag. Or maybe that’s why they air at ten o’ clock in the evening nowadays.
Whiny ass bitchy? I think there is a term for this that flows better in popular culture.
Ah, right. Bitchassness. Thank you, P. Diddy!
“This dinner is pathetic and weak.”
“But we flipped a coin to see what meal we would have tonight–”
“I DON’T CARE! I WANTED A F–KING STEAK!”
Redmond assaults his wife and Ashton is petty, ignorant, and entitled. Nobody is coming out of this U-Turn situation looking good in the eyes of the casual fan.
Perhaps it is why producers insisted on using the team hashtag #TheBoys rather than #TheMen.
What part of race don’t we understand?
Let’s ask this guy.
A Thursday Indulgence of ass? I can’t believe I am actually saying this, but the casual fans are crazier than ever.
Crazier. Than. Ever.
And I can’t believe that is the note I’ll be ending the Complaints blog in my return. Sigh.