The Amazing Race Canada 4 Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Blog Week 6 Edition

This week, fans complain about lesbians, breasts, lack of representation that has nothing to do with Saskatchewan, and video games. Hooray.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 1

a) Because gay, lesbian, and transgender people still face a lot of discrimination within Canada. Casting people on network television who are comfortable with their homosexuality, and not having editors who hide it like in the American version (unless they play three times) is important to educate the type of audience that typically watches The Amazing Race.

b)  Heterosexuality is announced by all of the teams too. Julie and Lowell reference being married and kiss on screen, Emmett and Jillian constantly talk about being exes. You just accept it as the norm.

c) Wouldn’t you rather have a TAR franchise who have compelling characters such as Hamilton, Steph, Kristen, Brent, and Sean rather than the TAR US franchise which not only avoids casting same-sex lesbian couples, but also goes out of their way to positively edit mildly homophobic ones like Jet McCoy and Jeff Schroeder as heroes?

Just a thought.

d) And since when did Steph & Kristen go over-the-top with being lesbians? 

tatu all the things she said

It’s not like every scene with them is a t.A.T.u. music video.

They praise each other’s looks and are affectionate like ANY YOUNG DATING COUPLE EVER.

Note: What the hell is with that one member of t.A.T.u.? She approves of same-sex female couples, but not same-sex male couples? Wrap your heads around that one.

 

canada 4 week 6 complaints 2

Yes, if only Aled were cast, he could totally have shown up Frankie & Amy! Aled for TAR Canada 5!

And you want them to go home? That’s just cold. Ice cold. Or as we say this season, Amy cold. What’s cooler than being Amy cold? That mystery has yet to be solved.

andre 3000

Alright alright alright alright. We all know I love a good Andre 3000 reference. Let’s continue.

 

canada 4 week 6 complaints 1

37, 000 people in Nunavut.

37, 000 people in Yukon.

A whopping 44, 000 in the Northwest Territories.

That means we have a combined total of 116, 000 people in the territories. That is a population smaller than the city of Abbotsford, and is 0.3 percent of Canada’s entire population.

You might be waiting a while for a team from the territories, my friend.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 2

FUCK PRODUCERS FOR NOT MENTIONING EVERY SINGLE MINUSCULE FACT ABOUT HAMILTON! Did you know Hamilton hosted the 2009 Ontario Cook-Off, too? Amazing Race Canada producers are messing up badly!

Do you know which trio of celebrities would never go to Hamilton?

tlc waterfalls.png

Them. The Waterfall Capital of the world is something they want all of us to stay away from. They want us to stick to the rivers and lakes that we are used to like Okanagan Lake.

ogopogo.png

Although ogopogo could prove to be a formidable foe for T-Boz and Chili.

R.I.P. Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes.

sindy nguyen

That’s Lopes with an ‘S’.

 

canada 4 week 6 complaints 3

It does to the majority of Canadians who couldn’t give less of a shit about Atlantic Canada.

For instance, two of my co-workers have traveled to a bunch of places within and outside of Canada. Last year they went to Newfoundland for a friend’s wedding to help take pictures, and decided to take a 12-day trip through all of the other Atlantic provinces.

When they returned, they said it was the only vacation they have ever hated. The weather was not even that bad, and they will pretty much do any outdoor activity. But sadly, they found almost nothing to do. The hiking sucked, and PEI particularly sucked (I asked and they did indeed check out the red soil as well as the Anne of Green Gables house).

canada 4 week 6 complaints 4

This K fellow is rather brave. This is the first time I have seen someone directly lecture a contestant on Survivor/TAR/Big Brother because they apparently do not love their child enough on screen.

Clearly, K is not familiar with any mother-daughter relationship once they are both adults. He makes it sound like Amy is some neglected ten year old kid while Mommy goes out and parties at crack houses or something. . .not “mildly bickering while spending time together welding an object”.

Plenty of parents are less calm than their children when they are adults. That is why we put them in nursing homes. 🙂

gilmore girls

The rate at which Frankie & Amy banter back and forth is like Lorelei and Rory. Yeah, Frankie may be pissed if Rory brings home that Good-For-Nothing-But-Surprisingly-Well-Read Jess to dinner, but she’ll always love her in the end.

And the biggest question of all is this: What exactly made K think that Frankie doesn’t love Amy? Or that he was treating it as common knowledge with the whole “this is all we ask of you” speech?

And Amy is the same freakin’ age as me. I think my parents are done motivating and cultivating me, and I assume Amy is in the same position.

nancy hoades

The only thing that needs motivating and cultivating is what is growing in their neighbour’s yard in the middle of Aldergrove. 

canada 4 week 6 complaints 8

Oh my word. K is at it again. Apparently the only type of women who satisfy his standard are those who are modestly dressed and does nothing except to support her spouse and children. She is not allowed to have her own personality. Go figure.

Note: Before I get crucified, yes, Julie has her own personality. It is natural for Lowell’s story to get eighty percent of the focus and editors had no choice but to push Julie in the supporting role. However, it should be noted that Julie had to do A LOT for a two-person team, even if that does not get proper recognition by the viewing audience.

But seriously, I really hope K is some old guy who stumbled upon Facebook. I haven’t seen anybody with such a 1950s taste in how women should behave.

donna reed.png

Sixty years later, and Donna Reed is apparently still the benchmark of how all women should behave.

.

.

.

Although the Frankie Gassler Show would have more diverse episodes than the Donna Reed Show, in my opinion.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 5

Wow. This is a first. A contestant’s cleavage is one of the complaints a producer has received for The Amazing Race.

Sorry, it’s not just any cleavage. It is NON-STOP cleavage. What does that even mean? 

billy mays.png

“Is that it for her cleavage?. . .But wait, there’s more!”

morrigan

If Frankie were a character from Darkstalkers.

dave chappelle.png

Can’t stop. . .won’t stop. . .non-stop. Eh eh eh.

And what is wrong with 40 year old women who have a different hair colour? Maybe Frankie is just really into anime.

And as for the tights?

robin hood

If an entire cast of middle-aged men can wear tights at the command of Mel Brooks, I think Frankie can get away with it.

And as for Frankie’s mannerisms? Look up the word spunky. Spunk doesn’t die when you are forty. . .

.

.

.

And neither does dyeing your hair, your wardrobe, and last but not least, one’s “non-stop” cleavage.

Every time I read that complaint I find myself laughing out loud. Picturing somebody in a room and dropping the phrase “non-stop cleavage” while in an angry huff ranting kills me every time.

Alright. Enough about Frankie’s breasts. We have other topics to cover. Oh wait. This same person had another complaint from two years ago?

canada 4 week 6 complaints 9

No longer watch this show? Well, that clearly didn’t happen.

jackie chan.png

If she was able to survive the show selling out to. . .well, I don’t know who the show would have been selling out to when visiting Hong Kong other than Jackie Chan, I am sure she can also survive Frankie’s cleavage. Unless it suffocates her or something like a scene from a Norm Macdonald film. I dunno. This is all getting too weird for me. We should switch to someone who likes the Chinese.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 6

Americaphobia is a casual fan’s greatest export. Why would they want you? We don’t want your American eyes on us.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 7

Do they? Or do they act like, oh, I don’t know. . .neither?

canada 4 week 6 complaints 18

tuktioktuc

I tried to research a joke I could make about Tuktioktuc, but sadly Wikipedia failed me.

tuktoyaktuk.png

Oh. It is Tuktoyaktuk. Not Tuktioktuc. What moron can’t spell Tuktoyaktuk? Are you even Canadian?

The town has 854 people. Most of them are Inuvialuktun-speaking Protestants. What am I supposed to do with that? There aren’t any jokes I can use. I guess the town’s greatest strength over Hamilton is that they have never been home to Gino & Jesse. Producers made a huge mistake!

 

canada 4 week 6 complaints 19

Yeah, heights related tasks and eating bugs can freak someone out who has A FEAR OF EATING BUGS AND HEIGHTS.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 20

Frankie & Amy succeeded at switching a fan from criticizing them online to blatantly kissing their ass. Well done! 

canada 4 week 6 complaints 11

Neither, actually.

jillian

Evidently, Jillian would prefer forty consecutive hours of welding, bartending, and taking advice all for free before spending an hour reading comments from the TAR Canada Facebook page. . .or listening to my podcast.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 12

What game? They denied obtaining the Express Pass. That is the only “game” move they made, and much like Express Passes in the fifteen or so other instances I have seen, it won’t even matter.

And this was after Emmett & Jillian blatantly lied to them about upholding their end of the deal. Jillian is constantly criticized for how she treats Emmett, but not a single peep about how she ditched Emmett & Jillian at the Express Pass crate task.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 13

The worst use of an Express Pass?

jessica john

Somebody forgot about Jessica & Anders from TAR 22. Oh, how I miss the guy from Workaholics.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 14

gi joe.png

Thanks for the knowledge, G.I. Joe. Knowing is half the battle on TAR Canada!

canada 4 week 6 complaints 15

Emmett & Jillian were lucky? Have you seen how much they pummeled all of the other teams except Steph & Kristen in domestic legs?

Something tells me if Emmett raced with his brother, he would be labelled as the obnoxious and loud one. Also, I don’t think Emmett had a choice to “pick” his brother to race with him.

Wow. That U-Turn prediction turned out to not be a prediction at all.

canada 4 week 6 complaints 16

Man, that episode in Hamilton is reallllllly going to disappoint you. Top two, motherf–ers!

canada 4 week 6 complaints 17

I see MEC’s social media team has made a presence on The Amazing Race Canada page. Way to promote, guys!

canada 4 week 6 complaints 10

Mentos is training you to become fluent gamers.

ninja gaiden

I can’t wait for next year when TAR Canada producers make old people play Mentos Gaiden. They’ll love that. I am going to end this week’s blog right here and pitch this idea to the producers.

 

 

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