The Amazing Race Canada 4 Funniest Complaints Week 2 Edition

This week goes in a slightly different direction. Some express the idea that this is Amazing Race CANADA, more bitterness launched towards Toronto, and most importantly, polarizing opinions regarding the Asian team. Wonderful. Let’s dive into this.

4 week 2 complaints 1

role models train.jpg

Your husband would be all over that crane like chicken fingers. Yum yum yum yum.

4 week 2 complaints 2

I know. Why are the majority of them women? First Nations? Asian? Congolese? So disappointed. Fuck casting and all of their bullshit. They should be ashamed of who they chose to be on this season. Not only did they fail themselves, but they misrepresented Canada as a whole. Piss off, producers. Piss off.

4 week 2 complaints 3

Hey, blame TAR Asia for that trend. By the way, TAR 28 used their NEL on the very first leg. If anything, a second round NEL makes it seem like an eternity without using the first NEL of the season.

Note: This marks the first English-speaking of TAR to have a NEL follow the first elimination of the season.

alex manard

If only this was implemented in TAR 27 to save Matt Damon’s stunt double. Sigh.

4 week 2 complaints 4

You didn’t find the original Ghostbusters funny?

harold ramis.jpg

WHY DON’T YOU TAKE YOUR HAROLD RAMIS BLASPHEMY ELSEWHERE!

4 week 2 complaints 5

Because every international adaptation of every reality show ever has to name it after their own country in order to avoid confusion. Big Brother Canada uses international contestants. So does BB UK. So does BB Australia, I think. TAR Australia travels worldwide. So does TAR Asia. So does TAR China. Take your reality TV ignorance elsewhere. Thank you.

See? I responded.

4 week 2 complaints 6

a) Since when was TAR Canada assigned to visit every charity function along the race course?

b) Why do you assume TAR Canada hates firefighters? Believe it or not, they had their hands full running a freakin’ TV production that day. Any other day and producers would likely come out to show their support if you asked them.

c) Forty minutes in an episode barely gives us enough time to learn about Anne & Tanya besides being moms.

d) In all seriousness, producers secretly hate firefighters. Producers definitely haven’t gone out of their way to have twenty-eight episodes of the TV show within our borders, nor have they refused to visit national monuments that are dedicated to national heroes who battled cancer like Terry Fox, and for sure haven’t chosen contestants in the past who suffer from diseases like Parkinson’s or are missing a pair of legs.

michael skupin research 2

Do your research, biatch.

Oh, more people are reacting to this. Let’s read on.

4 week 2 complaints 7

Yeah. Producers totally hate firefighters!

They can support a vinyl record of Salt n’ Pepa, but firefighters? Nah. . .

drag-on.jpg

. . .Well, until Drag-On releases Fireman as a single on a vinyl record. Then maybe they’ll care.

Note: Yes, editors did zoom in on the Salt n’ Pepa record in the Beatnik Bus. I  am pretty good at karaoke with Push It. I push it real good.

4 week 2 complaints 8

You’ll punish them? Like The Punisher?

punisher

“Uh oh! Looks like I’ve prepared a special concoction of casual fan tears and their utter bullshit for producers to be showered in!”

Punisher, control!

4 week 2 complaints 9

Please tell me there is more to your viewing experience to The Amazing Race than this. By the way, if anybody else asks “What number did ‘X’ team finish in tonight?” just troll them with a phony number. It’s the only way to make this fun and realize Wikipedia is their best friend.

4 week 2 complaints 10

Saskatchewan is part of Canada, too. Or did you forget about your lentil producing neighbours to the west?

4 week 2 complaints 11

Nope. None of them watched previous seasons. They went into this race completely blind as to how it all worked. Er, one of them did anyway.

4 week 2 complaints 12

Well, the remark about diversity is bullcrap since we’ve got Congolese, a mother-daughter team, teen pregnancy, a First Nations team, a blind dude, and softball playing lesbians, and a Quebecois man who resembles the villain from Speed, but let’s do quick research on the claim made about the age difference.

TAR Canada 4: 12 out 20 contestants are 29 or younger. (60%)

TAR Canada 3: 14 out of 24 contestants are 29 or younger. (58.3%)

TAR Canada 4: 5 out of 20 contestants are 40 or over. (25%)

TAR Canada 3: 4 out of 24 contestants are 40 or over (16.6666%)

penn teller.jpg

Good luck workshopping your hoax to Penn and Teller. You couldn’t even fool me.

4 week 2 complaints 13

Knitpick? Is it somebody who knits picks?

Yeah, I even make fun of the people who agree with me. It is poor etiquette, I know.

hoffman

It is as if I am the Craig Hoffman of the TAR community. I play by nobody’s rules–not even my own.

Also, TAR Toronto will be happening fairly soon. Once we visit 100 Mile House in TARC 5, producers will realize that the only interesting places left they haven’t visited in Canada all lie within Toronto. Fact.

4 week 2 complaints 14

Eh, it’s either this or we go back to TAR Canada’s usual habits of having memorization and dancing based challenges.

ciara

But we can go back to having a bunch of dancing challenges, and have, like, Ciara be a guest judge or something.

4 week 2 complaints 15

will arnett

“Illusions, casual fans. Tricks are what Parvati Shallow does for money.”

4 week 2 complaints 16

It’s true. The producers decided to rig it for Emmett & Jillian prior to the start of the season. If Gino & Jesse won last year, then obviously producers always try to rig it to ensure the best possible people win.

4 week 2 complaints 17

Oh my word. Somebody is talking to herself on the public page. Apparently we all needed to know their PVR messed up. I’ll file that information away.

4 week 2 complaints 18

Well, we ran into the one viewer who thinks Toronto really is the centre of the universe. Maybe the folks from Saskatchewan are onto something.

4 week 2 complaints 19

You two would be a great pair to do the bungee jump from the monkey bars if just the  camera work alone made you queasy.

sandlot roller coaster.jpg

TAR Canada 5 will force teams to chew tobacco before going on a crazy amusement park ride to take it to the next level–we need the contestants to be queasy! Natalie Spooner and Brent McSweeney’s records MUST be broken!

4 week 2 complaints 20

Yes, Jillian is known by her students at her elementary school as the “Bitchy Teacher”. They don’t even remember her name either. Their comments on public pages within Facebook are simultaneously shocking and hilarious, and do it without knowing the repercussions of their actions. It has given the principal and the vice-principal a lot of extra work.

4 week 2 complaints 21

Well, we have one person who loves Kelly & Kate because they are Asian. . .and somebody else who hates them because they are Asian. Welcome to the two extremes of racism!

seann william scott.jpg

On one end we have Seann William Scott’s character from Road Trip, and on the other end is Donald Trump.

By the way, when have Kelly & Kate been clever thus far? And aren’t they supposed to be small but mighty with their muscles? I think their number one fan doesn’t even know what he is talking about. In fact, I think he is projecting a lot of idealized Asian stereotypes onto Kelly & Kate.

japan fook

I can only imagine how he would react if Fook Me and Fook Yu were in the next season. Let’s move on from the weird part of the casual fanbase. I am not here to psychoanalyze each individual casual fan.

4 week 2 complaints 22

I love how the comments went from most offensive to least offensive.

4 week 2 complaints 23

Oh, so NOW you say you know Lowell Taylor? Are you going to act like his best friend now because he is a contestant on Canada’s biggest TV show? Where were you during high school when Lowell needed you most?! I bet you didn’t even contact him during university, or didn’t bother to approach him at the 10 year reunion.

occlumency.jpg

I see right through you, man. I’ve got fucking occlumency.

4 week 2 complaints 25

They are exes. . .

siamese twins

. . .Not Siamese twins, if you please.

4 week 2 complaints 26

Yes, Kelly & Kate. Practice.

Who should Steph & Kristen give their Express Pass to? Let’s consult our beloved casual fans.

4 week 2 complaints 27

. . .So Rita & Yvette? Or Gillian and Emett?

Also, I die on the inside whenever Steph & Kristen are compared to Natalie & Meaghan.

4 week 2 complaints 28

Correct. TAR Canada cuts an entire 40 minute episode in less than 72 hours. The editors do a FANTASTIC job! Just imagine if they had as much time as the editors will have for TAR 29 US.

4 week 2 complaints 29

Because you keep re-watching the first two episodes on your PVR? The episodes don’t magically change, you know.

4 week 2 complaints 30

In other news, since when is it TAR Canada’s job to stimulate the local economy? You’re projecting a lot of responsibility onto the silly little competitive reality TV show genre that will always strike with the Canadian audience. Are they supposed to cure Zika virus, rebuild Fort McMurray on their own, and ensure we win more than five gold medals at the Olympic Games this summer too?

TAR Canada truly can work miracles.

4 week 2 complaints 31

And that is an awful awful excuse 4 a meme. How much time did you spend working on that? Was it between commercial breaks of The Bachelorette?

4 week 2 complaints 32.jpg

Somebody sounds like they are orange with envy.

4 week 2 complaints 33

If she and Joel are eliminated this week, does this casual fan’s will to continue on with the series evaporate?

no beer.jpg

No Canada leg, no Ashley, and no Saskatchewanees make casual fans go something something. . .

4 week 2 complaints 34

camron oh boy.jpg

Oh boy!

4 week 2 complaints 36

You haven’t even seen the tasks yet–you are going based off of a freakin’ twenty second preview. Wait for the damn episode to air. The complaints for week three are going to be fun.

Sincerely,

A Vegetarian

week 2 complaints 24

Was that quiz meant for us, or is this the casualest of the casual fan?

4 week 2 complaints 35

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. No need to go further! See you next week!

#SaskatchewanLivesMatter

 

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