The Amazing Race Canada 4 Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Week 1 Edition

The first episode of TAR Canada is in the books. While many claim this is one of TAR Canada’s best episodes ever, and essentially exploited everything that is wrong with contemporary TAR in the US version, some casual fans were extremely unhappy. Some complaints are familiar, expected, and also extremely racist. Enjoy!

 

canada 4 week 1 complaints 1

New rule: You shut the f-ck up. I live in BC where our total population is 4.6 million people, and Manitoba and Saskatchewan combine for less than half of that.

Oh, and you don’t even mention any representation from the three territories, one of which was so gracious as to host the starting line for this season!

How the hell is that fair to me or to the folks up north you selfish Prairie Prick?

canada 4 week 1 complaints 2

Typically, I would agree with you. It is extremely annoying when producers design a task that is highly contingent upon whether or not the weather holds up.

And relying on good weather. . .in Alberta. . .in April. . .in the Rockies? You’re just asking for trouble.

However, how many places in Canada have a really high gondola that is equipped to have a bungee cord and a set of monkey bars underneath it? I have a feeling that selection is rather limited.

And as I will get into a bit later, this task was more about mental evaluation of the task rather than completing the task itself.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 3

WHAT?! There are FOUR all-female teams on this season? DAMMIT, I THOUGHT THERE WAS FIVE!

Which leads us to the following question: Which of the five all-female teams are secretly men in disguise?

anne tanya

As being part-Italian myself, it could very well be the two Italian-Canadians in this cast.

.

.

.

And with that, Anne has officially unfollowed me on Twitter.

In all seriousness though, it’s Frankie & Amy. Amy is secretly a dude. Surprise!

Also, where is the evidence that the camera crew ran out into the water and stopped Kelly & Kate’s raft from drifting? It could’ve been stuck against a rock or something.

kelly kate

And by a rock, I don’t mean Kelly & Kate’s abs from all of their fitness training.

Furthermore, it is odd that people are making the argument that the quitters should have had the advantage of people who were willing to try again and complete the task. Didn’t we all want the quitters to be burned at the stake last season?

And shouldn’t Kelly & Kate and Anthony & Brandon have realized that a four hour penalty is not only very steep, but that the weather was already pretty terrible and knew that the task could have been canceled due to rain?

justin diana

“No producer ever calculated how long it would have taken us to complete the Fast Forward based on the weather cancellation.”

Eh, Fast Forwards are different. It is not a required task like that Roadblock was. Going out of your way to gain an advantage has its risks.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 1

described video

Looks like somebody hasn’t changed the Described Video setting on their TV, Logan says sarcastically. Cut to viewer eye-rolling at Logan’s attempt to describe his own responses.

It would be hilarious if adult films are in Described Video. “Woman moans. Doorbell rings. Door swings open. Man delivers pizza.”

canada 4 week 1 complaints 2

spaceballs ludicrous speed

“I can’t climb out of the cable car! It’s too dangerous!”

ludacris rollout

Apparently cable cars are as dangerous as Ludacris speed.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 3

My friend Cora is trying to learn Portuguese. I s’pose learning it the other way around entails an equivalent struggle. Stay safe from Zika!

canada 4 week 1 complaints 4

Congratulations Emmett & Jillian, a shitty rock station on the east coast has endorsed you.

chris christie

It is Canada’s version of having Chris Christie endorse you–I mean, it’s better than nothing, but it might not improve your reputation.

And who wants anything to do with Pictou county?

pichu

I would personally prefer the rock n’ roll of Pichu County. Pichu ain’t got nothin’ on Jerry Thunder!

canada 4 week 1 complaints 5

lol New Zealand

canada 4 week 1 complaints 6

Did. . .did you. . .did you watch last season?

stephen harper

It should be noted that TAR Canada 3 had six teams quit a task, and all of this happened under Stephen Harper’s leadership.

Fuck you, Stephen Harper! It is YOU who started a trend of teams quitting a task on The Amazing Race Canada. You should be more ashamed than that Bickerton guy who wouldn’t let anyone from Saskatchewan participate in the race!

canada 4 week 1 complaints 7

Yeah, I wish TAR Canada didn’t make challenges so difficult after everyone and their mother has critiqued TAR US for becoming childishly easy. :/

canada 4 week 1 complaints 8

Bring it, motherf-cker.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 10

dennis hopper

The Quebecois goofy dad who resembles Dennis Hopper and his son along with two female Lesbian softball players are currently the two favourite teams of the casual audience?

alex trebek

What are “Reasons why TAR Canada 4’s casting is amazing this year”?

canada 4 week 1 complaints 11

Let’s explore the uses of the word honey.

“Honey, I shrunk the kids.”

“Hey Honey, how are ya?”

“Here’s some honey, you silly ol’ Pooh bear.”

And my personal favourite which Mirna states to a taxi driver in TAR US 5:

“Faster honey, faster.”

As you can see, honey is not specifically reserved for romantic interactions/exes with benefits.

emmett jillian

Oh c’mon, we all know it’s true!

canada 4 week 1 complaints 9

Why were you embarrassed? Did you take the four hour penalty? Are you Anthony & Brandon’s Mom? Why in the world would you be embarrassed?

no doubt hey baby

Should I be embarrassed if Stephane & Antoine can’t recite all of the lyrics to “Hey Baby” by No Doubt?

canada 4 week 1 complaints 12

Why are you rooting for Julie and Lowell more than anyone else? Each team, if equally divided, have had approximately four minutes of airtime on screen. My gut instinct tells me you are just blindly rooting for Julie and Lowell.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 16

Why does everything in TAR Canada have to be a drinking game? I fear for our nation’s future.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 13

Why did nobody take a penalty in the last season of TAR US? Because it was a bloody easy season.

And I have to ask again but WHY SHOULD CANADIANS BE EMBARRASSED BY TWO RANDOM GUYS FROM WINDSOR WHO QUIT A TASK ON A COMPETITIVE REALITY SHOW?!

Since when did a guy with the nickname Bobbie Miles get assigned the task of being the ambassador of Canada to the international TV viewing audience? That is so ridiculous on so many levels. Let the contestants represent themselves. Jesus.

vancouver

And you might be the only person I know who assumes every Canadian in the country can read a road map. Did you know when I was in Vancouver last year that my brother and I got lost on the way to three of the four locations we were visiting? We wasted an hour driving to Mount Seymour.

So stop being a presumptuous son of a bitch or that reading a road map is an essential component to the Canadian identity. Screw you.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 17

Finally. Somebody steps in as opposed to waiting for me to jump into the discussion. Thank you.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 14

After one episode, we have learned the following about the casual fan’s perception of Jillian:

a) She is annoying.

b) She is controlling.

c) She is something else. . .like a pretzel or a cucumber. I dunno.

d) She cheats.

e) She already has money.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 18

Are you seriously going to make me look up the past winners of Mrs. Universe? Ugh.

 

mrs universe winners.jpg

You should be ashamed of yourself for making me learn about the Mrs. Universe pageant. . .and also ashamed that you stated a blatantly incorrect piece of information.

Furthermore, the only hits that come up on Google about Ashley being in a casino are when she was part of two charity functions for Mrs. Universe.

So yeah. Those First Nations people just can’t get out of the casino when they are supporting charitable causes whole-heartedly! They are wasting valuable taxpayer money on this!!!!

In other news, casual fans of TAR Canada are racist.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 15.jpg

The Challenging Race? Was that supposed to be an insult to production?

bill james

And actually, I consulted with sports expert simulator Bill James as to what would happen if a team from Saskatchewan were on The Amazing Race. The Saskatchewan team actually wouldn’t win it hands down, instead 30 out of 40 times they would forfeit the first Roadblock and ultimately be eliminated, 8 out of 40 times they would be medically evacuated, and the remaining 2 out of 40 times they would barely beat Shahla & Nabeela to the pit stop.

The data is all there. Producers aren’t ignoring you guys because they don’t care about Saskatchewan; it is really just to save you guys the inevitable embarrassment.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 25

What a grammar.

But seriously, if you want to know all about scams, I recently received an e-mail from Ope’s cousin who is a Nigerian prince. Let’s just say I won’t be buying any more Wii U games anytime soon. I. Feel. Foolish.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 19

It is an interesting concept. What if you edit the rules so forfeiting the task meant you automatically forfeit the race? Those were the adapted rules in my friend’s The Amazing Race brain cancer charity fundraiser in Vernon (it is also where a woman twice my age and half my size gave me a piggyback ride).

Or make penalties just a tad bit longer and see if teams still agree to take the penalty. The culture within TAR Canada is somewhat compelling, and it would be interesting how much time teams will justify sacrificing in order to avoid a task.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 26

No product placement = No self-drive rounds.

sabrina drink

No product placement = No exaggerated sipping sound effects from Sabrina.

However, no product placement = teams can be on different flights thanks to Air Canada not being d-bags about the whole thing.

Besides, the more product placement there is in an episode, the more ammunition I have to make fun of producers as the franchise progresses. In the end, I always win.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 20

Somebody didn’t watch TAR 22 or TAR 25. You rookie casual TAR viewer.

canada 4 week 1

We have all of these Saskatchewan people who want to see a Saskatchewan team, but yet not a single one of you has recommended a team to producers that would be entertaining or hilarious enough to watch on the show.

If you are presenting a problem, then why not pose a solution to solve this issue? Do something. Lysakowski can’t do everything for you.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 21

Once it airs on the east coast, it is no longer a spoiler.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 22

This is based off of what so far? Being able to hang off of monkey bars underneath a gondola, and driving around the mountains in Alberta?

Remember that IQ test where the first question was “Neptune is to the sea” as “Saturn is to ___”, and then the second question was “What is the best way to get from the SkyTram in Jasper to Pyramid Lake?”

You know what batch of teams would have the lowest IQ on a season? Next year when they do The Amazing Race Canada: Saskatchewan Edition.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 23

If only you didn’t watch NCIS.

canada 4 week 1 complaints 24

And therein lies the truest statement of a casual fan.

 

 

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2 Responses to The Amazing Race Canada 4 Funniest Casual Fan Complaints Week 1 Edition

  1. Corey says:

    Oh man, I don’t know what I would look forward to most if my partner and I make it on to the show (getting further in the process each year!): Actually being on the race or reading you eviscerate us as the team from Saskatchewan.

    I absolutely love your recaps here. I would love to see you on this show. And when you are, please don’t hold back your comments on staying in Canada or “casual fans”. Production and Editing would have a field day, but I would be totally on board with Team Supacoowacky (or whatever you call yourself).

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