NOTE: Thirty-four English speaking teams competed in TAR during 2015 (TAR 26, TAR Canada 3, and TAR 27). Now it is time to evaluate how they all did. This is primarily being done because it is going to be at least a few years before I get to these seasons in my TARstorian rankings, and I doubt you want to wait until 2019 or so before you hear my opinions on contemporary racers.
We will be ranking these teams based on various criteria.
Overall racing abilities.
Overall storyline and ability to narrate the actions of what goes on.
Somehow this will be quantified to produce a ranking for each team.
26) Jazmine Lewis & Danielle Littleton – TAR 27 – 8th place – 5.8 Team Average
Entertainment value: 4
Overall Racing Abilities: 3
Comedic Contribution: 2.5
Overall storyline and narration: 2
Before we dive into discussing Jazmine & Danielle’s legacy on the race, I feel I need to bring up a story from the TAR 28 season finale party.
When I was there, I talked to two producers. One of them had been working on the show for several years as either the camera operator or the sound operator who travels with the teams–unfortunately, I cannot remember which one he was.
Anyways, I was asking him about difficult times during filming. Instantly, he mentioned the dread that the production pairs would have in the first half of TAR 27. And no, this dread did not involve being around Kelly & Shevonne for the season premiere.
The dread was being paired with Jazmine & Danielle. It is not for the reason you would expect, though. The dread came not from any potential bickering or fights with production, but rather was one hundred percent because Jazmine & Danielle were perhaps the fastest team producers ever had to keep up with in recent memory.
That’s right. The sheer speed and endurance level of Jazmine & Danielle’s legs as they run to clue boxes and route markers was the biggest challenge production had to face. I even recall the end to my chat with them about Jazmine & Danielle.
ME: I know you can’t say you ever root for a team to be eliminated, but I guess if you want a team to go home early, it would be Jazmine & Danielle?
PRODUCER: Yeah. We -never- root for someone to go home, but that is the one circumstance where it was a relief for a team to be eliminated.
I think Jazmine & Danielle deserve a medal for this. If you are able to tire out camera and audio crew who have worked on the show for a decade and feel they can handle anyone, then you have accomplished something truly spectacular.
I hear they are black-listed by TAR producers after Jazmine & Danielle tested their limits.
When you think about it, Jazmine & Danielle’s elimination leg was not suited for them to make a comeback. They were forced to walk with lions rather than run at their top speed, and the final “dash” to the pit stop was a diligent act of balancing baskets of fruit on your head without letting it fall on the ground. I can only imagine how badly they wanted to sprint and risk being eaten by the lions.
Come to think of it, if CBS has been so worried about TAR’s low ratings in the past year, why not encourage two proven track stars to outrun hungry lions? Shit like that would trend on #socialmedia so fast.
However, FOX may sue for copying a similar concept called Fast Animals, Slow Children.
Now let’s rewind. Remember what I said about TAR Canada choosing extremely physically fit all-female teams like Dana & Amanda and Susan & Sharnjit who could probably render most men unconscious with a karate chop?
Well, sadly TAR and karate chopping does not have much of an overlap, and both teams were eliminated about five minutes into TAR Canada 3.
By the way, am I the only one who wants to see a Tag Team wrestling match between Susan & Sharnjit and Jazmine & Danielle?
Of course, all tag team matches have to be refereed by man Steve Rolaaaaand.
Jazmine & Danielle are the third team to complete this trio. During the podcast preview, we anticipated a mid-pack finish for the Track Stars, and attributed their inability to crack the top tier due to a lack of world experience needed for TAR.
In the end we were correct, but I must say at the end of the season premiere I thought Jazmine & Danielle could be top contenders. I mean, it had seemed like ages and ages since an all-female team nearly won the first leg of a TAR US season.
TAR Canada? Not so much.
Looking back, the season premiere was probably the ideal and most realistic design for Jazmine & Danielle, and should have taken this as a sign that this would be their peak of performance in the race. Oh well.
Then the second round. Yes, Danielle promised Jazmine buy the other new feet if they won a million dollars. What a great family-friendly quote that would be re-aired about 10, 000 times for the rest of the season (meanwhile two legs is all Adam & Alex got–combine the two teams and they all have exactly what they need). The thing about Jazmine & Danielle that we would learn is their sense of direction as well as making wise decisions was not the greatest. There’s no more carts!
In the third round, nearly everyone was equalized, there was a ton of running around, and a couple of straight-forward tasks. I take back what I said earlier: This round was designed for them, but frontrunners Tanner & Josh (with a pulled muscle), Justin & Diana, and Joey & Kelsey all beat them to the mat.
From there, the expectations for Jazmine & Danielle sadly dropped, and things go on a downward spiral until their early elimination in 8th place.
But hey, at least they took 2Pac’s bandana fashion to the next level by incorporating a bowtie. I can assure you that not only 2Pac is still alive, but he watched TAR 27 and is now taking the extra step to convert the ends into a bowtie. I am serious about this.
We head to Zambia and Zimbabwe for leg four and once again Jazmine & Danielle’s airtime continues to be minimal. They get lost repeatedly and their first significant piece of footage in two episodes is the infamous “What country are we in?” quote.
NOTE: Yes, I know the story about Jazmine & Danielle crossing the Zambia-Zimbabwe border about five or six times. But seriously, if you cannot figure out what country you are in when looking for an address and/or a route marker, you are in some serious doo-doo. I know being in two countries that start with the letter ‘Z’ for the first time in your life that happen to border each other may be confusing, and you are likely exhausted after going across the Atlantic Ocean, but The Amazing Race is not a place for forgiveness.
It used to be three, but Zaire didn’t flow well enough and decided renaming it “Democratic Republic of the Congo” next to a country called “Republic of the Congo” was a brilliant idea. Seriously, screw you Zaire.
By the end of the fourth round, they were in a showdown with Tiffany & Krista to see who would be the one millionth all-female team to receive an early exit in the TAR US universe, and looking like all three all-female teams would be out by the midway point of the season. Although I think both teams were just happy that ultra jerks Kelly & Shevonne were the first to drop. On the inside, Tiffany & Krista and Jazmine & Danielle are all winners.
By the way, what the hell has happened to all-female teams since 2015? TAR 26 had no teams (because lesbians don’t exist apparently), TAR Canada 3 saw theirs crash and burn quickly, TAR 27’s also crashed and burned early, and TAR 28 had three teams meet the low expectations before them.
Oh wait. There is one exception to this rule. We’ll get to them later in this countdown.
But seriously, I am curious if TAR Canada 4 can turn things around. We can’t hold onto the memories of 2014 with Kym & Alli, Amy & Maya, Natalie & Meaghan, Carla & Hereni, and Shahla & Nabeela forever.
While Jazmine & Danielle beat Tiffany & Krista to the pit stop, and avoided the embarrassment of wasting their U-Turn on Justin & Diana like the Cheerleaders did (at an orphanage, no less–the epicentre of scheming and also the most vicious place on Earth), a NEL prevented Jazmine & Danielle from securing their spot as the last all-female team standing.
The Cheerleaders would use this NEL to stop hugging the bottom of the leaderboard as if it was a litter of newborn puppies, and instead opt to wake up in the season. On the other hand the Track Stars just ran out of steam. They couldn’t use their legs to preserve their minimal advantage over the other teams as they continued to make critical mistakes. Misreading clues, missing route markers, and the aforementioned tasks which restricted their ability to run would ultimately ensure their early exit from the race.
The camera operator and the sound operator may have high five’d or fist bumped each other upon Jazmine & Danielle’s elimination, but it is a shame that a team who started out by exceeding everyone’s expectations would then proceed to perform lower than the original bar that was set for them.
It is too bad that the only times we saw Jazmine & Danielle were when they were making significant errors, and didn’t know much about them. Sure, they didn’t get Chafted like the Cindy & Rick Chac by being nearly invisible characters, but it is a shame they will barely be remembered as the duo who didn’t know what country they were in or not reading their dang clue. As two racers who are even younger than me, perhaps they would do better at something like The Amazing Race after a few more years of life experience in their post-track star days. Who knows. In any event, their bowties shall be missed.
P.S. Okay, the quote of Danielle promising to buy Jazmine new feet will be remembered. Good luck finding a casual fan who can correctly attribute that quote to her, though. They’ll likely say it was Erin Robinson or Jet & Cord. The casual answer to everything is always Jet & Cord.
They are like the Richard Nixons of Trivial Pursuit. When in doubt, it’s the Watergate man himself.
Below is a link to each of the other entries thus far.
Hint for #25: I promised to her face that I would not talk shit about her. Can I keep my word? We’ll find out.