This is my shortest blog post each week. If you are looking for witty remarks and hilarious screencaps, you’ll have to wait for any of my other recurring segments.
It’s time to get serious now, and restore some normalcy in the TAR universe. What a whirlwind this has been.
Week Two Editing Analysis
Teams are ranked from who I think has the best shot of -winning- to who has the worst shot of winning.
Note that this is different from identifying a specific boot order.
1st: Zach & Rachel #CGIKings
My pick to win is getting the best edit thus far. Despite having a relative mild personality in contrast to the other teams, lots of meaningful content was inserted into the premiere.
Plenty of Zach’s illusions (insert Arrested Development reference here) were featured in the intro, they discussed their relationship, and were the victims of one of the worst CGI effects in TAR history.
Furthermore, few casual fans have complained about them in the past week.
2nd: Tyler & Korey #Toakles
Is it because Tyler has a following that matches TAR’s current ratings on television, or is a winner’s edit truly in the making?
Tyler & Korey were shown interacting with the other teams, and their confessionals about role models in the gay community points to them having a significant story centred around them.
Of course, any racer with over five million followers being subjected to a UTR edit would be a really stupid move by producers. They know lots of first-time viewers are tuning in because of Mr. Oakley.
3rd: Sheri & Cole #TeamRollerCoaster
From the back to the front to the back all in the span of one hour. There was a lot of focus on this mother-son duo.
Sheri raising six kids, editors crafting a comedic cut of Cole’s tears as he temporarily breaks away from his immediate family, their “this is our first time out of the country” type of edit, and getting lost repeatedly only to miraculously show up in fourth demonstrates that editors want us to pay attention to them.
Furthermore, Sheri & Cole are shown interacting with many teams. They had a lengthy scene with Jessica & Brittany at the airport, and Sheri’s Roadblock coalition with Erin (“Want me to help you?” “You just need to go, sweetie.”) shows that their journey is just beginning.
Sorry Cole haters. 🙂
4th: Burnie & Ashley #CastrationStoryTellers
Because of the guy in the airport who went up to Burnie and cried, we can assume that Burnie is meant to be an inspiring figure.
Also, this team will be the go-to for comedic quips and unintentionally hilarious moments. Bull castration stories and nearly being burned by a rogue firework are just two reasons why the audience will love this team.
Oh, and Burnie, you don’t need to try so hard to win over Reddit. 😉
Nah, just kidding. Do your thing, man.
5th: Cam & Darius #PoliteBrothers
I think we all know I have been rooting for Cam & Darius since before the season even started.
If any team was getting the Under-The-Radar edit, it would be them.
Their first dimension to them is that their parents are well-educated.
Their second dimension to them is that editors gave them an amusing cut of when they interacted with Marty & Hagan in the airport.
HAGAN: My mother is famous for a viral airplane video.
DARIUS: Oh. Yeahhhhhhhhh. I remember that.
Their third dimension to them is that they actually had a mat chat in terms of catching up from last place to hit the mat near the front.
I know this may be a bit of a stretch, but there are subtle hints that producers want you to like them and respect them.
6th: Dana & Matt #TheCasualFanPedestal
They had a strong performance, but there was never any footage which made us want to be really impressed with Matt’s Roadblock performance, or how demanding Dana’s job is in real life.
Hell, we didn’t even get to see that Dana & Matt won a prize at the pit stop.
Their rivalry edit with Tyler & Korey can only go so far.
7th: Kurt & Brodie #ULTIMATEFRISBEETEAMMATES
Remember when I said that Kurt & Brodie have a lock on being the casual fan favourite?
Well, producers did not give them an ideal edit.
This is the type of team that fans swoon over 99% of the time, but instead all we viewed was Kurt & Brodie yelling multiple times. Why would the editors keep that in the episode?
When the typical fan favourite of a religious alpha male team is not being shoved down our throats, it makes you doubt if Kurt & Brodie will even make it remotely close to the end game.
8th: Scott & Blair #DrumGate
If Scott & Blair win The Amazing Race, wouldn’t their last place finish this round be a huge focal point in the episode? If editors minimize Scott & Blair being spared by a rare season opener NEL, then I can say with certainty that this likeable father-daughter duo is not winning this season.
9th: Marty & Hagan #MomDaughter
“Why are we falling behind at this Detour task?”
“Charlie bit my finger, and now it’s bleeding.”
Not much airtime for this team. I will be amazed if their edit picks up anytime soon. Editors are telling us to ignore them, sadly.
10th: Erin & Joslyn #SnapSnapSpeedometer
They had the shortest intro of all eleven teams. There were two snaps, a slay, and then the editors moved on.
Joslyn was billed as speaking fluent Spanish, but we never saw that emphasized after that fact was brought up.
Then the editors did not show them in a flattering light.
JOSLYN: Erin will never give up.
(ERIN proposes giving up.)
ERIN: I’m done the Roadblock! I love your parents who are going to be last! Bye!!!
ERIN: This taxi sucks! His speedometer is broken! Argh!
The season premiere was not good to you if you were an all-female team. Which brings me to. . .
11th: Jessica & Brittany #AnorexicSarcasm
I feel bad for Jessica & Brittany. Editors are not doing them any favours (no, this isn’t even sarcasm based on the remarks they have made about me on Facebook or Twitter in the past week or even the past twenty-four hours–that can of worms need not be opened once more).
I know how casual fans react to certain characters. If you show a team who are models make anorexia jokes. . .well. . .you’re pretty much telling the casual fans to hate them.
I think producers are in the process of burying Jessica & Brittany, and if the first week’s Roadblock is anything to go by, they are supplying them with the shovel.
Predictions for Week Two
Note: This is my prediction for who will arrive on the mat from first to last place in this leg.
This is different from my pre-season projection of how the boot order will shape up for the duration of the season.
1st: Tyler & Korey
They currently have a rivalry with Dana & Matt. All rivalries have to be competitive, right?
2nd: Dana & Matt
Back-to-back leg wins? That is so TAR 27.
3rd: Kurt & Brodie
As long as the task does not involve running across the floor of an airport, or being required to speak in a tone below a specific decibel count, they should do well for another week.
4th: Zach & Rachel
You are not allowed to peak by round two.
5th: Erin & Joslyn
Speaking Spanish will likely prove to be more necessary than it was in Mexico. Will this be Erin & Joslyn’s best performance of the season?
6th: Cam & Darius
Hovering around the middle of the pack is where these fellows should be for the time being.
7th: Burnie & Ashley
I think they are going to mess up, but not in such a brutal fashion. Part of me believes Burnie & Ashley will be prone to amusing little mistakes throughout the season.
8th: Sheri & Cole
All signs point to every round being a roller coaster for Sheri & Cole, and how they find the secret to barely staying alive.
9th: Scott & Blair
If Phil’s refusal to correct Blair in regards to the Speed Bump, it should have no impact on Scott & Blair in this round.
I guess Tanner & Josh’s handikap was a one-time thing.
10th: Jessica & Brittany
Young all-female teams on TAR US who work as models? I gotta play the percentages.
11th: Marty & Hagan
Unfortunately, their low ranking in the first round may confirm my pre-season prediction–they’ll be first out.
Well, that’s it for this week of TAR 28 coverage. PVR shall save the day as I will be too busy watching Shamrock and Gracie fight before I get around to watching social media stars tackle Colombia.
Not British Colombia, sadly.
Alright guys. I think my usual sign-off message at the end of each post may be more fitting than ever–remember to be kind to those you encounter, whether it be in real life or online, and life is too short to be stressed.
Have a fun Friday, folks.