Funniest Complaints About The Amazing Race 27 Week 3 Edition

Oh god. The casual fans are at it again. For the third week in a row, they debate if Tanner & Josh have already come out of the closet, if Denise is homophobic, why Argentinians should be ashamed of how they treat animals, dragging your meat, and getting into a direct confrontation with a cheerleader. And of course, their reaction to Ernest & Jin’s elimination.

Back to the Future couldn’t predict that anything this ridiculous could exist. So let’s get to it! Since Twitter is always mentioned last in the complaints each week, I thought I would put them at the front of this week’s order.

1) “[Ernest & Jin] should go get a job like everyone else and then they won’t have to live in a car….”

But they do have a job. Many jobs.

And did you know the car they live in is a Ferrari? Hey, all they said is that they live in a car. Nobody said anything about the type of car they live in!

2) “With no chance to catch up, it should have been a non elimination leg. They were at last an hour behind.”

a) When a fan favourite team gets eliminated because there isn’t an equalizer in the same round, it is considered “unfair”.

b) When a polarizing team gets eliminated because there isn’t an equalizer in the same round, it is considered “part of the game”.

3) “Diana looks like Troian Bellisario. Chubbier version”

Wow. Now that’s a back-handed compliment if I have ever seen one. I love how that detail is slipped in there for clarification as if the reader needed the addition to help them identify the comparison.

troian bellisario

“You are like this amazing actress, but, you know, fat.”

NOTE: In the TV show Suits (where Troian Bellisario is from), they have a character named Logan Sanders. They were one goddamn letter away from me being able to sue.

4) LOGAN: “Any #AmazingRace #tar27 fans online? #thepaparazzi”

Logan of The Paparazzi is ready for an AMA with her fans? This should be an enjoyable time and light-hearted conversation.

—> LOGAN: “Guess not. There goes my dream of having a meet n greet LOL ūüėāūüėāūüėā #amazingrace #tar27 #thepaparazzi”

logan chris

Ouch. Most epic fail of an AMA ever conducted. Social media can be cruel.

Chris should try to do the same thing on Twitter and throw it in Logan’s face if somebody responds to him.

5) “#AmazingRace When u cast a team of assholes who show assholeish tendencies so early on, it makes me indifferent 2 watching series #TeamTexas”

Eh, it didn’t hurt Jet & Cord’s abilities to gain fans.

6) “Never seen . Watching

So this is what it would be like if TAR 1 had hashtags. So glad Frank & Margarita weren’t reduced to #TeamBrooklyn.

7) “Season 1 Ep. 2 #AmazingRace. No wonder margarita left frank. He’s the worst. #firsttimewatching #nospoilers”

new york rob brennan 32

Rob & Brennan win. #ASpoilerFourteenYearsInTheMaking

8) “I’m writing a 10 page document, watching , doing nebulizers,& talking w/ Andrew, who is making dinner & cleaning!

Doing Nebulizers? Is that why kids are begging their parents to go to the doctor to help them get prescribed Pulmicort? Things have certainly changed since my youth.

9) “Does anyone actually think the cheerleaders have a chance against the others like the green team or team Texas?

No. They are an all-female team who were defined by a profession that is a side attraction to a male dominated venue. Therefore, they cannot succeed.

If only they were in pharmaceutical sales or speech pathology BEFORE being Cheerleaders.

seoul nat kat 4

Nat & Kat were wise enough to be doctors. Brook & Claire managed to market themselves as TV Shopping Hosts.

Meanwhile Tiffany & Krista couldn’t find a hook for editors to use other than their cheerleading past.

gloucester katie rachel

Similar to Katie & Rachel who weren’t allowed to expand beyond their hobby of mutual volleyball bikini madness.

10) “That Justin guy from TAR27 needs to be nicknamed Luigi. Seriously he’s tall, skinny, Italian and wears nothing but f’n green.

luigi death stare

Justin needs a sweet mustache and practice his death-staring abilities if he wants to be up to Wee Gee standards.

11) “ from is one of the most annoying teams in history! Oh please, the other teams.. beat them!

12) “ugh why did the best team get eliminated off already. BOO.”

False. Statistically, they were actually false.

13) “The dogs are the stars of this weeks

The dogs are the stars of this week?


Bitch please.

14) “I love the dancers too bad they suck at the game

Very accurate description.

15) “This boy did not just say turkey “

Oh, he did. For all you know Ernest was thinking back to when he bowled three strikes in a row.

16) “How the heck do ppl run in polo pants?”

It’s more of a Speed Waddle. Like a penguin!

Also, it’s much easier to run in pants that aren’t yours.

17) “Dang Justin’s obnoxious!


18) “ Read the clue! The devil is in the details!”

Jet & Cord are in the details?

But seriously, I thought the devil was hiding under the hat Justin was wearing when he entered the church.

19) “It’s too bad I have to wait for the entire season to end before it screens in India. Currently loving season 26.

In Japan, it is tomorrow. In India, it is yesterday.

20) ” ¬† You go right ahead and have a drink with that f_ing tool!

kathy vavrick

Whoa. There’s no need to bring Jess into your core of hatred.

I may serve as the annoying younger brother role to Jess, but c’mon, not even I would promote the idea she drinks with f-cking tools. Let her do her thing.

And Jess would say the same thing about me. . .except she might add that I do it in a slightly more annoying fashion. ūüôā

21) “Celebrated my dead last finish with a depression donut.

Accompanied by a Completionist Coffee, I presume?

22) “Duh! You can’t help during a roadblock. ONE team member must complete the task!

But Mommy didn’t want to see her Jamey Earl Kins struggle at a Roadblock. She couldn’t help it. Mommy thought the producers would understand she was only ting to save her son in danger, and let the issue go.

23) “It’s the first time in 27 seasons I want to stop watching because of the most annoying racer ever! Guess who?”


24) “Ernest and Jin were eliminated Why couldn’t this be a non-elimination episode!? They deserve a second chance”

Do they?

25) “Justin is annoying as f-ck. What a tool.

Somebody is #GreenWithEnvy, am I right?

26) “Did somebody just call the carniceria a ‚Äúcanceria?‚ÄĚ

I feel like I am being baited into making a cancer joke on this blog. Maybe next time.

27) “Ernest & Jin look very familiar, were they on ? I like them, hope they make it far!

Nope, you just mixed them up with another pair of young African-American male dancers. Congratulations, you racist.

Plus obscure hashtags make it a struggle for people to understand your tweet. Thankfully, I am so good at decoding acronyms that I figured it stands for America’s Best Dance Crew.

Now that’s a show which must hate itself for not having a shortened hashtaggable name to promote on social media.

28) “ So annoyed with that they just won’t shut up about eliminating , focus on the competiton! “

The Green Team is their competition.

29) “ Why would a guy with an injured hamstring want to do the more athletic challenge?! This isn’t going to help!”

Pride and dignity. Nothing is stronger than the human desire to be competent at independent tasks.

30) “Watching & praying to God and not liking another team does not mix. God gave you a blessing pulling a hamstring. “

Well of course it doesn’t mix–they are two mutually exclusive ideas.

31) “I just watched the first episode of season 27 & the awful TMZ girls left first meaning, God is Real. Those girls are so hateful”

bill maher

Sorry Bill Maher. You have lost the debate. HBO doesn’t need you anymore.

32) “ is the one of those shows where I consistently root for the pretty people. My thirst is real.”

holland globetrotters 8

You choose a family-oriented show on cable to serve your thirst for eye candy? That may be one of the weirdest things I have ever seen.

33) “The other 2 guys at the meat challenge looked like they were jealous they didn’t get a kiss from Tiffany

Stop sexualizing Tiffany. Thanks.

holland tiffany michelle 3

Instead, direct your anger towards this Tiffany. She is the worst.

33) “When did The become The Amazing Dress Up?”

Hey, Halloween is just around the corner. Leave em alone.

34) “ drinking game: Take a sip every time the cheerleaders talk about how underestimated they are. You’ll be dead before an ep ends.”

Amazing Race drinking game: Take a sip every time a casual fan underestimates the Cheerleaders or refuses to give them any credit. You’ll be dead before an episode ends.

35) “ the brothers were such positive energy. Lets start a go fund account to help them”

Is this the same lady from Spokane who set up an account for Woo after Survivor: Cagayan ended?

36) “Justin and Diana are gonna get Abbie and Ryan’d.

No. Ryan’s antics were a bit more absurd. Justin has yet to say “I have waited my entire life to beat the record set by Dave & Rachel six months ago.”

Or come up with a slogan called “Need We Play More?” for a business commercial.

37) “”Where my dogs at?!” LOL. .

Okay, okay. I get it. Nobody quotes Lil Bow Wow anymore. Quoting a hip hop song from only three years ago is as far as references go for people nowadays.

38) HARLEY: “Oh no, forgot the horse whip!


I had no idea what this was until I Google’d it. Between this, I’m A Gummy Bear, Justin Bieber, and all of those Drake-like autotuned songs sounding the same, I have lost all faith in hip hop and pop music.

harley jonathan

Of course, I can’t rely on a guy dating someone from New Kids on the Block to have a good taste in music.¬†

Ugh. I’m already angry with this week.




And now I watched the music video. Yesterday would have been a good time for anterograde amnesia.

39) “They should have strapped gopros on the dogs for this leg. It seemed there was a god with every team at at each task.

No, there was only a god with Tanner & Josh. All other teams had to settle for having only a dog.

40) JOEY: “Like the Jeffersons, are movin’ on up!!! 3rd place finish!!

Where are you moving to? The Underedited Side in the Nobody Cares District?

41) “Holy s–t they went from 7th place to 3rd!!

Is that. . .is that really a major thing to happen in the third leg of the race?

42) “I wouldn’t run around a foreign country barefoot. Heck, I wouldn’t run around MY county barefoot.

You wouldn’t run around a foreign country barefoot? WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE?!

43) “MetroBrosexuals, professing your faith isn’t distracting us from your normal Friday night activities

Indeed. I hear Lisa Ling covered Tanner & Josh specifically in one of her documentaries.

44) “Them two black models in the white polo pants. Yes please.

I don’t know why, but I find this statement slightly cringeworthy.

45) “First rule of : always read the clue twice before starting out.”

Is that the first rule? What about “don’t pack too much”, “communicate well with your partner”, or “don’t talk about the Express Pass because then editors will obsess over its irrelevant nature in the episodes”, or “that Hayley from last season was an uber bitch because I judge somebody instantly solely by the sound of their voice which is something they can’t control”.

Seriously. Somebody is going to come up with an alternate “first rule” for The Amazing Race next week.

46) “Stop dragging the meat!

Was that a Tanner & Josh quote at the pit stop?

47) “Ugh if I have to keep hearing how these cheerleaders are athletes…shut up we get it!

I know. They need to shut up about something they mentioned a couple times while filming a TV show four months ago. Why won’t they stop talking about it?!

48) “ U turning equals bad karma. If knows the race they know this.”

U-Turning equals bad karma?

dhaka u turn 6

Tell that to Nat & Kat.

gino jesse canada

Or these guys who did it TWICE.

ernie cindy

Or these guys.

dave o' leary crutches funny

Or these guys.


Or them.

tyler laura

Or them.

49) “”What do you mean no?” He means you f-cked up American!

Somebody really doesn’t understand Justin’s sense of humour.

50) “So are eliminated. I’m gonna cancel my feeds!!!!! Wait. Wrong show.

I can’t imagine what live feeds would be like for The Amazing Race.

jeff jackie

Particularly at Elimination Station.

51) “I have never wanted anyone to win more than I want Ernest and Jin to win.”


52) “I really can’t stand Justin is the biggest douche sayin he studied each season at least 3 times

I know of bigger douches. Much bigger douches.

sukhi jinder

For instance, Sukhi & Jinder said they watched the first season of The Amazing Race Canada over one hundred times. Would that break the Douche-O-Meter scale?

53) “The winners of tonight’s leg of the just won a holiday in Cambodia.

Isn’t that the joke frequently made about the Philippines? If you are going to put in the effort to make offensive remarks regarding stereotypes, at least get it right.

54) “So the best team names the producers came up with for two teams is…the states they live in??

#MetroBroSexuals and #UnacceptingMother just wasn’t going to catch on as hashtags.

55) “ is so gross sometimes. Thanks for the dead animals!”

You’ll love the roadkill in the form of baboons in the Zambia leg. As a vegetarian, I know I will be looking forward to it.

P.S. Did you know hundreds of millions of Americans eat dead animals every single day? Ew. Americans are disgusting!

56) “What a waste of meat.

Just because James Earl doesn’t “use it” will not result in him “losing it”. That was a myth perpetuated by Steve Carrell and Judd Apatow.

57) “Genuinely bummed are out. They had more fun than some of the uptight / wealthy teams.

A measure of one’s wealthiness can be determined by how uptight they are on a regular basis, didn’t you know?

58) “Everytime I argue with my husband from now on, I’m going to channel the calm and saintly James Earl “

And then your husband will show up at your work and tell you how to do your job in front of the boss, even if you told him he is not allowed to do so.

59) LOGAN: “They didn’t show us stopping in a chocolate shop to ask for directions and getting free samples!

Now this is the first rule of The Amazing Race.

60) “Not an for the ages… predictable boot, Ernest & Jin didn’t seem very invested, and challenges weren’t exactly nail biting.”

But. . .but. . .dogs. . .and whipping nae naes.

61) “there are 54 countries in Africa – it is not a country – pretty disappointing for a tracker show

All because Phil said “teams are heading to Africa” during the preview at the end of the episode? You do know people regularly say “I am heading to Europe/South America/Asia” regularly, right?

62) “Though sometimes it appears that they are not too far behind, the difference in sunshine vs clouds told me they were far behind

That’s the same method my podcasting partner Michael uses. Look to the skies to estimate how much a team lost by in each leg of TAR.

63) “3 fun teams have already been eliminated and we’re left with a few bores..

Kelly & Shevonne were fun?

64) “Wow, the dancers got so much more airtime than some of the other lame teams, I’m surprised they didn’t get saved

Welcome to the era of reality TV where editors intentionally over-expose specific contestants because they know the production of another returnee season is inevitable.

65) “ Who let the dogs out? Woof woof woof woof woof”


baha men

Now to transition to a serious point of discussion. The Baha Men have tried really hard over the past fifteen years to come up with a new hit since Who Let the Dogs Out. They never wanted that to be the track which defined them, but sadly their wish has yet to be granted.

But hey, at least they didn’t come up with a song about whipping nae naes. Hold up your head high.

66) “I’d be so great on the bc I speak 3 languages, am always early in airports and spent the last 22 years racing from my issues”

Oh man. You’re going to be as nervous as hell when you have to be willing to risk it on tight connections to the next route marker.

And you think speaking three languages is impressive?

mirna mug

Try speaking six languages. . .sorta.

67) “I’ve never watched until recently. I started with season 16 and wow I’m hooked.”

Well, I guess it is good to start with TAR 16 to ensure you will have near rock bottom expectations for subsequent seasons.

68) “I’m sitting here surrounded by several pillows and blankets, actually shaking. Tonight’s episode is extremely stressful!

One of the slowest episodes in recent memory had you stressed? I think we need to dispatch an ambulance to your house on finale night.

69) “Attention cast…my tweets about the show are sarcastic and snarky. If you can’t handle my tweets please unplug and disappear.”


I have heard of craving attention, but this is ridiculous.

70) “I’m amazed none of the racers have stepped on dog poo.

argentina dog

Stray dogs have to absorb every nutrient they can. Quite frankly, there is just no doo-doo for racers to step in.

71) “ Alabama penzalized. You da man, Phil. Thank you.”

Yep. Phil is not only a host, but also is an all-powerful being who imposes his penalizing will upon every racer who steps onto his mat.

72) “it shoulda been dat bitch ni–a Justin. Hate dat bitch ass ni–a

notorious big juicy

I don’t think anybody has called Justin the N-word since the 9th grade when he attended junior high with a student who was going through a Notorious BIG phase.

73) “”I GOT THE ASS, YOU GET THE FRONT.” omg Denise f-cking DELIVERS.”

Why are Denise’s boyfriends commenting on this?


Oh. This is what they meant.

74) “Why is the mom on amazing race such a troll?

Because all mothers are trolls.

china margie 3


75) “Denise rocking back and forth waiting out that penalty made me really uncomfortable.


Can’t sleep. Phil will eat me.

76) “I’m gonna need the cheerleaders to be, like, 47.6 percent less… cheerleadery.

I’m gonna need you to be, like, 47.6 percent less…prone to comma splices.

77) “Oh, lord, Josh and Tanner think God has nothing better to do than help them win a reality show.

Hey, he got all of his other chores done on the day. He has the chance to get around to those other little things that weren’t a priority.



79) “So watching — am i getting this right? The is there so producers can artificially make sure they can decide winner”

Yep. It is all filmed in a CBS studio designed to look like a town in rural Argentina. A team’s ¬†success was contingent upon putting their meat on display in such a way that pleased producers, and let them proceed onwards.

80) “Ugh, TeamTexas just doesn’t like them because they are similar to themselves – cocky and arrogant. Funny how that works. I’d be happy if both teams be gone.”

karate kid

Last time I checked neither team broke out into song singing “You’re the Best Around” as they point to themselves.¬†

I guess one is cocky and arrogant on TAR if you are constantly finishing in first or second place.

81) “hope that the texas team is next so that god can focus on feeding the hungry rather than helping them win a race.”

Focus on feeding the hungry? I guess the locals will have to accept the meat dragged on the ground throughout the Roadblock.

Which is I assume what would have happened. I presume that meat would be perfectly fine for consumption if prepared properly. I doubt they are as picky as us North Americans are when it comes to food standards.

82) “Both teams are getting too cocky. At least Green is focusing on the race and not another team. Really getting annoyed with the mother and son’s whining.”

What’s with the constant discussion of meat, cocks, trolls, and how mothers treat their sons this week? Are we in some alternate Freudian TAR universe?

—> “Its not the son its the mother thats annoying.”

The son was trying to be annoying, but then Denise interrupted him and told James Earl how to successfully complete the task of being annoying. It cost them them in the end. :/

—> ” I find it interesting that the team claiming to be “bathed in God’s love” seems to be the most hateful, bitter, backstabbing team this season. That hamstring pull was the perfect example of the Laws of karma.”

Fun fact: They are washed in suds of blessedness, and rinse it off with a gentle spiritual aura daily.

—> “I would never wish physical harm on a person who is just competing.It is disgusting when I see comments on it is karma is why he is hurt.If they were cussing flipping off the Green Team and then talking about their faith in God,I would think the same thing.I am just sad for people that thinking an injury that could affect a young man for the rest of his life is perfect karma.And they are not cheating like so many teams in the past have.”

Who cheated? 

And who wouldn’t wish physical harm on a person when competing? When I am in my competitive long distance running, I pray for injury to competitors because it is the only way I know I can win the race.

And why does swearing matter?

There are much more douchier things one can do than simply swear at somebody (e.g. mooning somebody, spread nasty rumours, poison their drink at the pit store, push Diana’s bra off the ledge when it is drying, shove each other while yelling “Get out the way!”, etc.)

—> “It was a simple muscle pull. Get over it! He was jogging with it the next episode. What’s disgusting is people like them portraying themselves as these “Children Of God” with so much love in their hearts and then show their true colors…. tapping their foot in bathroom stalls and then arrested for lewd conduct….. A State rep fabricating a gay sex allegation to hide affair with a female State rep. and the list goes on. If you’re so concerned for Team Texas….say a prayer for them.”

buster bluth

buster bluth 2

michael bluth

Well no one’s going to top that.

83) “Green team? More like BLUE team! Ha!

(Get it, blue, as in always sad lmao)”

australia phil keoghan 6

We’ve got a badass over here!

84) “Denise is so rude to her son….”

I know. She’s such a bitch. What mother struggles with listening to input from their children, tends to make the decisions when their kids around, and unintentionally help them when they are in trouble even if it is against the rules?

85) “Are Team Texas gays?”

I don’t know, but I think there are some people who know the answer to this.

—> “Yes. They have fabulous hair.”

Fabulous hair is the primary criteria? Geez. I have been misidentifying myself all of these years. . .

nina sky

. . .My dream of being in a polygamist marriage with both Nina and Sky since I was a teenager may not be what I wanted deep down after all. ūüė¶

—> “Not surprised. Their comments about how good they looked in the their tight polo pants plus several other comments gave them away. They are also acting a bit more pesky about the Green Team than necessary. They should just concentrate on themselves.”

Yeah. The attention they give Justin is because they are totally gay for him. Protect your man, Diana! Otherwise Tanner will be pulling something other than his hamstring!

—> “no they dont , they both have girlfriend”

Blow-up dolls from sex shops in downtown Dallas and smuggled over the border from Ciudad Juarez into El Paso does not count.

86) “It’s a sad world when someone knowledgable is called cocky.”

—> “It’s an opinion- get over it.”

She was just stating the truth. Get over it. You asshole.

87) “Horrible nasty Team Texas!”

Nasty as in. . .

chip nasty

“That bowl of caviar Chip was nasty” or. . .

finale adrian collin 16

finale rovilson fernandez 9

“Maaaan, the way Adrian pwned Rovilson at the final Roadblock of TAR Asia 2 was nasty, bro!”

Until then, whether this is a compliment or a complaint remains a mystery.

88) ” Whoa! Whoa! We are 2 fit strong young men but we are scared of the skinny, bold middle age man & his girlfriend. We can’t enjoy the race, we are so stressed out because we are afraid of the skinny bold middle age man & his little girlfriend whoa”


diana bishop

Look at how scared that French woman is when she interacts with Diana during Fake Amazing Race. She is shaking in her beret-wearing boots!

89) “I don’t care how they do it, as long as they do. Justin is super annoying. I mean, REALLY, REALLY annoying. Can’t stand him. Probably trying to parlay this into his blog or whatever bs pretend job he has.”

Radio host.

Pretend jobs include blogging, podcast co-hosting, and social media expertising.

—> “He works in radio that is why he talks a lot. You find that annoying?”

—> “He’s an a-hole”

You suck at answering direct questions.

—> “Rightyo, well, if you can gauge that from watching 120 minutes of TAR…with him on maybe 12 minutes of it in total, you must be a great and quick judge of character!”

Quick to judge one’s character? That’s how humans do!

—> “Actually I am pretty good. My gut instinct has only been wrong once. . Btw, I’ve watched more than 120 minutes and he’s been annoying for every single second he’s been on the screen. Can’t wait for them to be eliminated.”

I am curious enough to ask “When was the one time your gut instinct was wrong?” but I’m afraid their answer will be something irrelevant like “I love cookies” or something.

For anyone reading this, when was the one time your gut instinct was wrong? Remember. It was wrong only once. Ever. 

stephen colbert

As my friend Stephen Colbert would say, that’ godlike levels of truthiness. All truth comes straight from the gut.

90) “I find Jason hilarious and quite entertaining in the approx. only 120 minutes/ 2, oops, 3 episodes / maybe 12 minutes of screen time he’s gotten. I wish they would give him and his lovely 6th grade teacher fianc√©, Diana even more air time.”

Jason lol.

91) “What good little “christian” boys they are!”

alex trebek 2

Note that “Christian” is in quotations.

—> “Remember its television.”

—> “I doubt their rude and mean behavior is “scripted””

92) “douches vs aholes. drama drama drama..on with the show, where to next?”

australia nzl

TAR Australia 3 had “Australia vs. New Zealand”.

tar 27

TAR¬†US 27 has “Douches vs. Aholes”.¬†

What a contrast.

93) “I hate the green team after he called the Gaucho “mi amigo estupido” he called the man stupid, no respect for other people at all.”

He actually said “Stupid Americano” and referring to himself for being not-so-great at the Roadblock.

michael skupin research 2

Do your research.

94) “[Ernest & Jin]¬†They’re like the Cowboys and Globetrotters of this season. I’m so bummed”

You mean they hate gay people and follow other teams around all while struggling with word puzzles?

95) “Have you two ever considered trying out for So You Think You Can Dance?? That competition could really help you pursue your dreams! You’d be seen by some very important people in the dance world. Keep jamming!”

ernest and jin lao

Yeah Ernest & Jin, why haven’t either of you considered auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance? If you want to dance, that’d be the type of show for you. Are you guys that stupid to the point you thought TAR would help your career more than SYTYCD? What dumbasses.

been there done that

Oh, they’ve been there and done that already? Thanks, Dre.

96) “Just curious…. Is Britain, Canada and the states the only countries that care about animals ? There seems to be tons of stray dogs wondering around and some look injured….”

You do know this episode was filmed in rural Argentina, right? Have you been to a farming community before? Lots of dogs wander around everywhere, and casually return to their owners at nightfall.

Don’t confuse relaxed and casual with abusiveness and reckless.

97) “Finding the show very boring this season, enough with the dance challenges and costumes, we know contestants are in another country, they don’t need to dress up.”

But TAR is trying to cling to the 0-7 age demographic who find funny faces and costumes hilarious. They need every viewer they can get!

And you think the tasks were boring? There was an unaired task, a Fast Forward to be exact, where teams had to find the last Nazi war criminal hiding out in Argentina. Ernest & Jin attempted this, but unfortunately did not succeed and could not make up for lost time.

98) “the meat thing almost made me barf. had to fast forward.”

It should be noted this person tried to Fast Forward, but they were blocked from doing so when they tried to attempt it. They really really wanted to Fast Forward through it, however it proved to be a gigantic waste of time.

They were better off just watching it on normal speed in the first place.

99) “I wanted them to win as opposed to the snoit nosed green guy, or the couple where both are Drs. What do they need the money for?”


Jelleestone put it best–Money Can’t Buy Me Happiness. . .nor having stray dogs follow you around, travelling to about a dozen countries across the world consecutively, and being able to take an extended time off from work to do this before they have kids (presuming they want kids).

cindy rick

Or maybe Chac Attack hates kids. Who knows.

100) “Is there a donation site set up for the brothers?”

Step 1: Message them on Facebook.

Step 2: They give you their PayPal.

Step 3: ?????

Step 4: Dance! Er, I mean profit.

101) “Thanks to
Amazing Race team!
I was in charged of one location at San Antonio de Areco, Argentina and was great working with all of you!!!”

That’s wonderful, but no one cares. Stop trying too hard for your fifteen seconds of stardom.

—> “Great to see someone from the town here.

Are they really that many stray dogs there? Felt sorry for them, especially the one that was limping a little”

The local showing their face on the Internet was their first mistake!

—> “Spaying and neutering are the only solution. TRAGIC!!!”

bob barker 2

Forget funding Ernest & Jin’s PayPal accounts. Let’s put all of our resources into getting Bob Barker to fly to Argentina ASAP!

But seriously, Jesus. Don’t leap to conclusions about this town.¬†

102) “Anyone else notice how many dogs were in this episode!?”

Perfect timing. You win.

—> “Yes! I was cracking up at how many dogs the camera men or women were focusing on. Theres a lot of dogs in that country.”

The funny thing is that there are no female camera operators in reality television. 


There are about as many female camera operators as there are UFC ringmen. 

—> “They are feral dogs and it is TRAGIC!!! SPAY AND NEUTER!!!!!!”

Calm down. Breathe.

103) “I am just curious does Amazing Race help those who are selected to obtain their passports? I am just curious because the dancers where stating they were homeless and a few other teams in previous seasons where down on their luck as well. I am sorry the dancers were eliminated and wish them well. They were so funny and really ran a good race.”

Seeing as how they mention dancing internationally at the start of the season, I have a feeling they have passports.

jason bourne

Unless they were secretly trained by Jason Bourne and sneak their way into other countries using master dancy stealth.

—> “Just because one is homeless doesn’t mean they sleep on the streets. One of them lived in his car which to me means he had enough money for a passport.”

It’s true, in a sense. My close friend from university, Dan Vineberg, has done extensive travel internationally. Everyone always grills him about how he can afford to always head outside of the continent.

And he pretty much says the same thing that this person hints at: He is not rich. He works hard, saves as much money as he can, lives with his parents whenever he comes back to Canada, doesn’t have his own car, and researches the cheapest plans available.

If you are chasing a specific lifestyle or career, sometimes you just have to re-structure your whole life and live drastically different from everyone else.

104) “A race I could have won hands down! It was killing me seeing them put the saddle on backwards and improperly wrap the legs!”

You would have won with your hands down? Are you the Brazilian volleyball pros of horseback saddling?

105) “I was so sad to see the dancers go.¬†¬†I pray someone who has the means saw this and gives them a chance at a new life with a job opportunity to put their dancing to a good paying job so they can have a place to live. I knew they aren’t the only ones in need but they put themselves out there and seemed, in the short time on the show, to have a good attitude and outlook on life. Good luck guys!”

ms havisham

I hear Ms. Havisham needs new tenants.

106) “What was with all the stray dogs running around?”

Are they stray?

—> “I dont know. I felt so bad.i just didnt know if it was natural for their country. I feel helpless

I am curious how far the effort went into finding out if rural Argentina has lots of stray dogs.

PERSON ON COUCH: Oh my god. There’s dogs following teams everywhere. Something needs to be done about this! If only I knew for certain what the explanation for this was. . .

(COMPUTER sits ten feet away; LIBRARY is five blocks away.)

PERSON ON COUCH (casually glancing at computer screen, then looking at their shoes by the front door with a long look on their face): Eh. No bother.

107) “How about an entire season done in the US. Like Amazing Race – United States something like…
1. Pike’s peak: Cog railway to Barr Trail, then 6.8 miles to Barr Camp. One episode, but they can overnight at the camp before continuing to the summit (5.8 miles) Elimination Pit Stop. Rental cars waiting at the top to carry them to Colorado Springs Airport. Flying to Fayetville, NC – a challenge itself, since flights can have from 1 to 3 stops and take from 7 to 10+ hours.
2. First challenge of the day is at the historic Putt-Putt Fun Center (Suggest you rent the place from closing at 9pm Sun-Thurs or 11pm Fri-Sat.) You must play 18 holes using 36 or fewer total strokes. (Par). If it takes you more than two strokes on a hole, you must start over.

Second challenge is Zipquest at Carver’s Falls. Everyone does the Waterfall Treetop Adventure. Each team must choose: they can do it in the daytime AND must also do the Swingshot. OR they can do the Treetop at night.
Pit Stop at Airborne & Special Operations Museum.”

howard sleep

I zoned out when I saw mini golf as a suggestion for an active route info.

108) “I’m unhappy, my three favorite teams are already gone! I hope the next ones gone will be the big-mouthed homophobic mother and her whiny son.”

Is there a single team in the race with significant airtime that viewers do not believe is whiny?

—> “I think the son acts the way he does because the mom is so awful. Too bad he can’t team up with justins girlfriend lol.”

Hold up. You’re blaming how the son ‘acts’ on his mother? Oh my word.

And if you are proposing that James Earl pairs up with Diana (a.k.a. Justin’s “little” girlfriend/other non-flattering nicknames), then that means Justin would be with Denise.

justin diana

“As a student of the game, I know we will be receiving a thirty minute penalty because you helped me with the Roadblock.”

—> “I agree the problem is the mama. May not be fun to watch, but maybe we’ll get to see her transformation into somebody who can accept her son for who he is.”

May I interject here? Out of the three episodes shown thus far (okay there has been four but shut up), is there any indication other than what James Earl said in pre-season confessionals that Denise does not accept his homosexuality?

Because I don’t see these homophobic conclusions being drawn upon from any of Denise’s actions or from any behind-the-scenes stuff.

109) “Please give Ernest & Jin a second chance, like maybe in a “Second Chance” version of Amazing Race (see Survivor). And if you’d consider a Father-Daughter/Mother-Son version of the Race, where half the teams are Father-Daughter and the other half are Mother-Son, I’d be happy to offer myself and my daughter as Guinea pigs.”

They already did that. It’s called The Amazing Race 18: Unfinished Business.

110) “Shocked this wasn’t a non-elimination leg. They never left the country and the show had already eliminated 2 out of 11 teams. So now a double U-turn with only 8 teams? SO SAD to see the brothers leave. But ya gotta have that competitive spirit for this show!”

Alright. Let’s address the notion that Ernest & Jin “gave up” during this leg.

While the departure times showed Ernest & Jin only being minutes behind, their bus was more than two hours behind everyone else.

My friend Ben looked up where they traveled all throughout this round, and realized how small the area was for the leg. Everything was within a three or four kilometre radius, and likely every task could be done within 2-3 hours of arriving in town.

Essentially, Ernest & Jin were out of the race before they even got into town. They didn’t see anyone at the Roadblock, nobody at the Detour, and no one on the way to the pit stop.

Have you ever been in a situation when playing a game where you are ridiculously far behind? Well, people tend to relax and be more at ease. The intensity goes away until they see their competition and the adrenaline picks up again.

So no, I don’t think Ernest & Jin lacked any sense of competitive spirit. I just think the adrenaline wore off and didn’t act like everything was coming down to the wire.

It’s all about human nature, and Ernest & Jin were simply following the trend.

111) “Let me first say that I am NOT a vegetarian. I just thought that was a disgusting waste of meat/food! They were dropping it on the ground, wiping sweat off their brow and touching it etc. Was it then going to be sold? Also, focusing on the stray dog situation was sad.”

I don’t know if you have heard of this concept, but people tend to cook food before they eat it. :/

—> “Hope they at least fed that meat to all those stray dogs!!!!!!!!!!!”

Nah, the stray dogs feast on the weakest gaucho in the herd. They stalk their prey in its most vulnerable state.

—> ” i’m sure someone ate it.”

The order of who was offered the meat:

Local businesses -> Gauchos -> The poor -> Stray dogs -> My dad.

112) ” The mother/son team is a very sad display. If that was my mother, I would smack her! She is rude, degrading and her son just goes along with her so he doesn’t have to hear her flap her jaws.”

Now I am picturing James Earl slapping his mother like she is Mrs. Peacock from Clue.

clue scream 2

“I had to stop her from helping!”

—> “Yes, mother has A LOT of work to do…so much for trying to be her son’s “hero” again *rolls eyes*”

Denise isn’t going to be able to replace James Earl’s previous hero?

enrique hero

No offense to Denise, but topping Enrique as James Earl’s hero is a pretty tough sell to pitch.

113) “I loved Ernest and Jin– I was so bummed there was no way for them to catch up. The 2 teams I liked are now gone– the two of them and the cousins. Team TX is getting ultra annoying with their fixation on Justin and “I prayed for you to finish first and you did”– high five! God has more important things to take care of right now, I’m quite sure. Justin is still annoying and I’m tired of the cheerleaders boasting about how athletic they are. And the mom from Alabama…let me just say that I feel so sorry for her son– he puts up with a lot!! I honestly don’t know if there’s anybody left that I like. How sad.”

Tiffany & Krista aren’t athletic?


Even during a Roadblock, Tiffany finds time to pull off master squats. Try to trump that.

—> KRISTA: “well aren’t you just a bundle of joy. We said it once. It’s called editing. Calm down over there you seem a little worked up over a tv show”

No. The Amazing Race is love, The Amazing Race is life. The Amazing Race is all I have left in this dark and empty world!!!! Don’t try to take that away from us, Krista!

—> “Krista In case you hadn’t heard, it’s called an ‘opinion’. And isn’t that what this post is for afterall…otherwise, there would be no room to comment.”

A terrible opinion, but yes, this person is right. . .somewhat.

—> “Krista And you’re quite the little bundle of joy yourself with your condascending remarks.”

According to casual fans of TAR:

It is cocky and arrogant to be knowledgeable and skilled.

It is condescending to disagree with someone else.

It is homosexuality if you have fabulous hair.

—> KRISTA: “It’s nice to be “opinionated” about people that you don’t know while you’re sitting on your couch watching an edited TV show. You don’t know Denise¬†nor her relationship with her son James Earl. I didn’t know you knew¬†Justin¬†personally either so keep your opinions to yourself. You’re talking about others and just made a judgmental comment about half the racers. Enjoy the season! ¬†I’m athletic”

I do know everyone. Well, after stalking them on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and even their old MySpace pages. So yeah, I kinda do know what I’m talking about.

—> “Krista– hypocritical much? You’re doing something that you condemn [the initial poster] for – judging someone that you don’t even know, based on a tiny snippet of their life.”

Except what the person posted was an unedited remark that could not be manipulated or spliced together by someone at CBS. This is a portrayal that is 100% accurate.

—> KRISTA: “It stinks doesn’t it? Now you know the point”

france andy samberg

Boom. Roasted.

—> “Krista Simmer down, sweetheart. Like [some idiot]¬†said, it’s an opinion. We all have them and we’re free to express them here.”

Not exactly. The Amazing Race Facebook page can delete whatever comments they want without facing any criminal charges. Free speech does not exist when you express your opinions on privately operated property.

—> “Krista It’s a “reality” show…have you never watched one before because that’s what the audience is supposed to do– form opinions on what we’re watching and decide who we’d like to see win. Seriously, what is up with you?? You’ve watched TV before right?”

Krista is under the age of 30. Of course she wouldn’t have a TV. It’s called Netflix or Shomi, people.

—> “I totally agree with you! You were spot on about all of them. The mom is the WORST! It’s unfair that I disliked her from the beginning when her son said after he “came out” they didn’t speak for a long time…but her big mouth last night just confirmed my dislike for her. And justin is making a complete fool out of himself. He never SHUTS UP! OMG…how does his girlfriend stand him? The texans get on my last nerve and when one of them hurt his hamstring I was like…”that’s what happens when you’re not grateful for just getting to the pit stop but have to win first place.” And I don’t need someone elses opinion on my opinion and hopefully she will take her own advice and keep her opinion to herself.”

Why does everyone refer to Diana as Justin’s girlfriend? Viewers know they are engaged and poised to be married, right?

And I love how she hates everyone who has been given prominent airtime. I have a feeling people believing Justin does not shut up is because they are unaware it is due to him being granted more screen time than everyone else.

And we’re getting opinions on another person’s opinion?

This is becoming surprisingly meta.

—> “Krista do you personally know these people? because otherwise, I can’t understand why you’re becoming so offended.”

Yet you guys are kinda freaking out someone is telling you to not be overly douchey. 

When is Michael Jackson going to get here with my popcorn?

michael jackson

Get your ass out of bed and bring me some damn popcorn, MJ!

—> KRISTA:¬†Yes I do they’ve become like family to me because of the show and I see the other side, the side that others don’t get to see of them. So things that are said about them that are not true, will affect me. Enjoy the rest of the season.”

Enjoy? Nah. I will watch each episode and rant for hours and hours about how awful people I voluntarily set aside time to see on television is on social media.

—> “If you check out her FB profile, it looks like she’s a contestant – one of the cheerleaders!”

san francisco carol brandy 5

Great sleuthing.

—> “Krista Well, then it makes a little more sense but that doesn’t change the fact that we are all allowed to have our opinions and share them here. When your ‘family’ signed on for this they knew this would be part of it.”

Actually, only Justin knew. Being a student of the game, he read through social media reactions of each season at least three times. 

clueless alicia silverstone

Everyone else is as clueless as Alicia Silverstone.

—> “Krista..we are giving an opinion as to what we see on our screens. If you don’t like what people say about them…don’t ATTACK others for the opinion of what they are doing on the show. Defend them all you should be…but when you attack the are no better. Just makes you a hypocrite for doing what you don’t want others to do. But if you just defend them…maybe you can get others to understand and not bash them as much.”

Hold up hold hold up. You guys said contestants are either being annoying, loud, rude, obnoxious, arrogant, or THE WORST. All Krista said is that those criticisms were a bit extreme. She didn’t say anything about you guys being any of the qualities you assigned to her.

—> “Ha!! Now it all makes sense.”

Yep! The jig is up!

tiffany krista

Your simultaneous hair flip can’t save you now!!!!

—> KRISTA: ” Attacking is a harsh word.”

Indeed. This is right after the same person said she was being defensive. How can you attack and be defensive simultaneously? I don’t know.

—> “And Krista….”not true”? We saw it on the show. They said and did what we heard and saw.”

liz the mole 5

—> “Krista LOL You didn’t make a point. You were just being a hypocrite.”

I think she did, but something tells me you guys may or may not be listening.

—> “Krista, now that we know you’re a contestant on the show, and therefore not exactly an unbiased observer, let me ask you this: have you NEVER watched a reality show and expressed an opinion of someone on the show -negative OR positive – based solely on what you see on the program? Unless you NEVER watch reality tv, I doubt you’ve never done exactly what you’re condemning others for doing.”

She¬†is¬†a contestant, though. Doesn’t that make her the most unbiased observer of them all since she is exposed to a thousand times more information than you are?

—> “Exactly! I’m sure she has watched this show in the past and formed opinions about the contestants so she is being unfair. And to say that it is all “editing” is wrong because these are the words that came out of their mouths (from team TX and the cheerleaders).”

na onka

a) A sentence a contestant states has been spliced together from as much as three or four different confessionals before.

anthony stephanie intro 3

b) Not all contestants watch The Amazing Race before they are selected to participate.

—> “Did she delete all of her comments or block us? lol”

Considering you guys called her hypocritical and stupid. . .which option do you think she chose?

—> “Lol, she blocked us! She should NOT be reading comments about this season if she is that sensitive. Wow.”

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to interact with viewers who call her useless, annoying, and hypocritical. She may or may not have better things to do during the day than pay attention to over-the-top negativity.

—> “I wish she could still see my comments because when I made a comment about Justin that was negative he laughed and said “this is great.” Maybe she could take a lesson from his book. It actually made me like him a little more.”

Justin isn’t laughing with you–he is laughing at you.

—> “.I have seen contestants do that on Survivor and Big Brother. They aren’t able to talk about the show but will attack posters who give an opinion (cuz we are To be fair…the other “athlete” was more annoying than krista on the show…but she made up for it in here lol.”

Yep. That teaches Krista for defending herself and others against constant public ridicule!

—> “She really did…I like her even less than before…last night I just thought she was annoying but not as bad as team TX or Justin… Now I just don’t like her at all.”

jose canseco

You are saying she has entered Jose Canseco levels of likability?

—> “Well now I’m rooting against the cheerleaders. LOL”

As if you were cheering for them in the first place.

—> “Lol these contestants should not be on here reading about how we feel about the teams if they can’t take the criticism. Justin was on another thread getting all bothered by what was being said about his crying.”

Maybe because contestants are curious what fans are saying about them, and want to be engaging with them because they think it would be fun.

Sadly, a lot of the contestants haven’t been apart of the online community like I have for the past ten years, and are only learning now that the fan posts break down as follows:

Twenty percent who are relentlessly positive but not understanding anything about the show.

Seventy percent who are relentlessly negative and do not understand anything about the show.

Nine percent who want to suck up to the alumni as much as possible because they need to be accepted by people they have only seen on TV due to the lack of fulfillment they have in their own lives.

And lastly, the remaining one percent who can be critical, witty, analytical, and know what the hell they are talking about.

seoul brook claire 20

Which category do you think I fall under?

—> “I agree…they knew what they were getting into when they signed on for this– the commenting comes with the territory. And as seen above, now more people dislike the cheerleaders because of her comments. I only found them slightly annoying before now– after today, I won’t be rooting for them at all.”

Oh! I am sure Tiffany & Krista are so hurt you won’t be rooting for them.

—> “Looks like a lot of jealous people out there!”

Jealous, but at least they are unbiased.

114) “Have you signed up BB17 Liz and Julia, Shelli and Clay, Meg and James or James and Johnny Mac yet?”

—> “Not if they want their ratings to drop more.”

—> “GOOD GOD!! The crossover shows are STUPID!”

—> “Nooooooooo please……couldn’t take them again ever on tv,..especially Liz and Julia’s voice!!!!!”

115) “During last nights showing, I just kept thinking about “Jet and Cord”.”

116) “We need fewer pretty couples and fewer celebrity couples and more real people. America loves the teams like these guys or the Kentucky teams. The casting crew needs to do a better job. Hope these guys make back to play again.”

117) “Bring them back for All-Stars.. Or maybe “Fan Favorites” or “Second Chancers” JUST BRING THEM BACK”

118) “I was wondering how they got so muscular for a couple of homeless dudes…”

119)¬† “It’s the same ol same ol teams.. The professionals.. The cute girly team.. The parent and child team.. The dating team.. So boring .. Vanilla Vanilla VANILLA”

—> “are you saying that only poor people can go on the race?
The Amazing Race should be open to anyone no matter what their monetary earnings are because the race is more about the experience than the money.`

—> “The Amazing Race is not and should not become a charity organization. If you think it should, please open a donation box somewhere so I can improve the quality of the show. I prefer ordinary people racing since I can relate and cheer for them more, but the lack of VARIETY in teams is what’s most staling. We’ve had health care teams for at least five seasons in a row and sports stars (pro and collegiate) for at least six consecutively. Mix up the cast! Bring in teams that are mostly fans and are natural. That’s what made TAR great from season to season before Unfinished Business. Nobody needs a sob story or silly scenario to be race-worthy.”

120) “I was very disappointed in how this leg was set up. The brothers had no chance to catch up and were eliminated as soon as they started. I am surprised that the producers did not include a bunching point at the ranch (like say the ranch didn’t open until a certain time to make sure that all the teams were there and given a fair chance). They have done this before when a team got an early flight and would have been 12+ hours ahead of everyone. They had to wait until the next day for everyone to catch up.”

121) “Maybe [Ernest & Jin] will get on Ellen!”


Actually, that might not be possible. Ellen is after them because, and I quote, “bitches better have my money”.

Yeah, Ellen DeGeneres is an underworld card shark. There is nothing Generes about her at all–it’s Ellen DeBreakYourLegs.

122) “It always seems like the South American legs are designed with no opportunity for teams to catch up. The really interesting teams are gone for me.”

susan patrick intro 3

petrohue monique shawne 2

A lack of equalizers in South American rounds have lost us great teams over the years like Susan & Patrick and Monique & Shawne.

123) “Maybe somebody will be kind and give them a job and a place to live.”

Actually, Ernest’s car was repossessed because he failed to make a payment on it while he was filming this season. :/

124) “These two are great guys with a heartbreaking story!! Any negative comments about them just shows the characters of the people that left them!! Heartless and cl√†ssless and who cares about the opinions of people like that anyway!!! ROCK on guys!! You’re ALREADY winners!!”

How can I respond to you in a way you will understand?

They don’t HAVE a heartbreaking story!! Few people are saying NEGATIVE comments ABOUT them, but probably making jokes about how over-the-TOP and melodramatic editors made out their storyline to be!! I like THESE guys, and I found them TO be hilarious!! They were eliminated in NINTH place, which means they’re ALREADY losers!!¬†

125) “They brought me to tears when they said they have no home to go to, may almighty God open up more ways for them”

Nah. God is too occupied with helping Tanner & Josh win this season. Hey, they asked first. It is only fair!

126) “Producers could have made this a non-elimination leg!!!!!!”

They couldn’t have. It is all pre-determined before the race even begins. Welcome to non-rigged reality television! Where the viewers don’t matter, but integrity does (for once)!


Well, that does it for this edition. I intend to be caught up with week 4’s complaints by Friday night. It is a busy week for people like me when Trudeau is your new Prime Minister, Blue Jays are in the playoffs, and Big Brother Canada audition is due this weekend.

Thank you for enjoying my comedic writing. I wouldn’t still be discussing TAR on my blog after all these years if it weren’t for you guys always being there laughing along with me every step of the way.

Week 4 Complaints and TAR 18 episode 2 rankings are on the horizon! Logan out!

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