Funniest Complaints About The Amazing Race Canada 3 Week 6 Edition

I am certain of one thing this week: Sudbury is the lamest and dullest city I have seen incorporated into any international version of The Amazing Race, but luckily it isn’t contagious and affected the hilarious and absurd nature of this week’s Funniest Complaints.

People had plenty to say about Nic & Sabrina as they walked out of the race, but that didn’t stop viewers from creating a new subject of hatred.

Oh, and nobody complained about teams having to eat meat at the Fast Forward this week. For some reason, “inexperienced hands” milking a cow is barbaric, but devouring half of Kratt’s Creatures gets a free pass.

THE COMPLAINTS

1. “That was horrible last night. Opening scene, whatever idiot hung the Canadian flag sideways should get fired. What an insult to Canadians”

Now you know how Germans feel when they visit Belgium.

2. “So happy to see this couple go, no longer do I have to hear her say Love this and Love that! She always sounded condescending to him, like his big sister or his mom!”

Yet fans complain about racers who approach each task with “f–k this” and “f–k that”.

I s’pose each team is only allowed to like things to a moderate extent.

And you act as if Sabrina treating Nic like she is an older sister or mother is an unattractive trait. Did you know in Italy that this is what most Italian women tend to strive for in order to seduce young Italian men?

3. “Jon Montgomery – nice chest! You can go shirtless anytime you like!”

Geez. You don’t have to be sarcastic. Leave Monty’s ailing ginger body alone!

4. “But where did Alex go after the father daughter team that moved him? Why wasn’t he there for the other teams? It was a great episode! Love it!”

I have come up with a couple of possibilities.

a) He needed to get home in time for Matlock re-runs.
b) The City of Sudbury ran out of money and couldn’t pay Trebek’s hourly rate.
c) He pooped himself.
d) Being around Jon Montgomery was really uncomfortable, and found him to be a bit of prick and/or boring.

I personally think option D is most likely to occur. It isn’t the first time Jon Montgomery has been ditched by a 75 year old man.

5. “i hope the boys threw up those worms and crickets!!! Well done in that leg of the race.”

We can only hope.

6. “Forgive me if I missed something, but how come Simi and Ope didn’t have to complete a speed bump? Nothing against them, but isn’t that usually what happens when you get saved by a non-elimination leg?”

Sigh. Join the club. This is why I hate Keep on Racing legs. It is like the old school NELs where the whole round turns out to be redundant. Even more so this time because of multiple equalizers at the start. Suddenly those four hour penalties and Kristin’s wheelchair are meaningless.

7. “Don’t really care for [Brian & Cynthia]- kinda full of themselves & nasty!”

beyonce champagne

Yes. Brian & Cynthia are nasty. Just like Beyonce Knowles are a little N-A-S-T-Y while dancing around in a champagne glass.

pharrell notorious

Heck, you can go even further back to the late mid-90s when Notorious B.I.G. wrote a song called Nasty Boy to start this trend which was then remixed ten years later in a version called Nasty Girl and scored a lot of mainstream success.

But seriously, Brian & Cynthia are the first crude couple I can recall being cast for TAR. It makes sense. They have been together for a long time, and both hold jobs where they strictly interact with adults and/or criminals most of the time. It’s not like they are running a daycare.

Furthermore, they live in a remote area (according to their audition tape) and do not have children of their own. Therefore, they are rarely in an environment where eyebrows are raised when they speak. It is likely why production cast them. They probably said some stuff to each other which took producers by surprise.

By the way, Nasty Girl marked the last time Jagged Edge were relevant in music.

—> “Im with you. I don’t understand what advantage they get by not telling other members they are cops. It seems silly. Cynthia seems mean.”

Fun fact: Cynthia will be replacing Lisa Lampanelli at the Comedy Central Roast.

—> “Nasty?! They had the option to u-turn anyone and chose not to, losing first place that leg.”

—> “As a general rule they are nasty, definitely not my kind of people! Pretty smug too!”

As a general rule? Is there a quantitative or qualitative aspect to them which makes them nasty by default? I have never been to Manitoba, but I guess this is what you are talking about, and then the crude language they pick up hanging around other cops must not help either.

daphne and celeste ugly

N-A-S-T-Y,
You’re a Manitoba cop with no alibi,
You nasty! You you
You nasty!

—> “Lol, wasn’t it sweet when Cynthia bragged that she was a paramedic before she was a cop and then failed that CPR challenge and took a few tries to actually do it correctly? And then gives a lameass excuse that she didn’t have to do compressions very often when she was a paramedic? Oh that was good karmic tv watching”

Yes, a big bowl of karma was served when Brian & Cynthia finished just two spots behind the team who claimed this week’s Fast Forward.

8. “I hope Brian & Cynthia go home this week”

—> “Me too lol”

—> “I can’t stand these two.”

—> “I am with you. The husband thinks that he is funny, whereas the wife thinks that she is smart…I hope they will pack as soon as possible and bon débarras!”

You know what would be much worse? Meeting somebody who mistakenly believes they are funny AND smart! I bet that guy would be a real douchebag.

And what the hell does bon debarras mean? This is Amazing Race Canada! Not Amazing Race France. Have you cast a curse upon us all?

NOTE: Upon further research, bon debarras is French for good riddance. I was hoping it was something funnier and/or smarter.

—> “Nope Winnipeg is one of the best teams there who cares what u guys think about them I think that they are going to go far love yea Winnipeg”

. . .Do you happen to be from Winnipeg?

—> “Drama Queen lol”

9. “do you REALLY need a tie for Sudbury, Alex??? Welcome to Canada anyway.”

He just wants to keep Sudbury classy. When he lives in the US for years at a time, that classiness can often be forgotten. I mean, it’s a mining town. You need Trebek to return and remind everybody what it’s like to be fresh.

And what do you mean by “welcome to Canada”? You do know the City of Sudbury didn’t just randomly hire Trebek to be the pit stop greeter, right?

—> “His hometown is Sudbury”

You should go on Jeopardy!

—> “but the dress code is casual:-)”

—> “It’s his trademark look.”

I thought the moustache was. 😦

—> “Alex is class all the way.”

Until the cameras are off. Then he’s a real jerk. The guy is such a diva. He ordered poor Devon Soltendieck around like the rightful squire he is for Monty.

In fact, Jon Monty told Trebek all of the ins and outs as to how to properly train Devon and make him a loyal servant for the Hosts of the Knights Table.

Just last week he was allowed to ride a horse for the first time.

10. “Why do folks who can’t swim or have a fear of water apply for ARC….”

Fun fact: All three minority teams this season cannot swim.

Therefore, you could potentially be promoting the discrimination of minorities by having the “You must know how to swim well” requirement. Believe it or not, every single minority in North America cannot swim as well as Jaison Robinson from Survivor: Samoa.

It’s strange when you think about it, but a barrier like that could very well hamper the participation of minorities on The Amazing Race without intending it in the first place.

Wait. Did I just give a serious and intellectual answer? No sarcasm anywhere? Geez. What’s wrong with me?

11. “Most BORING host ever.”

Phil Keoghan, stop being jealous.

12. “Sad to see Nic and Sabrina go. I love how supportive she was of him in this last episode. All the best to you both. Hope you have a wonderful, happy life together.”

13. “Nice run, Nic and Sabrina! Sad to see you go”

Complaints that involve being disappointed Nic & Sabrina are no longer on our TV screen? Something ain’t right here. Have I influenced the casual fans over the past five weeks?

—> “They should have been gone a long time ago. Very lucky to get as far as they did.”

—> “The reality still is they DID get as far as they did regardless.”

Phew. That was close.

14. “Being able to swim should be a prerequisite for the race!”

It should, but it isn’t. The producers were kind to us as we get to be teased with somebody possibly drowning on The Amazing Race.

And if everybody had to be strong swimmers, we wouldn’t have the awesome pairing of Duckie and Petrie in Amazing Race: The Great Valley. Flyers like Petrie would be petrified of having to dive into a pool of water.

petrie ducky

“Petrie sucks ass at swimming–yep yep yep!”

But as long as they keep Petrie from the aquatic Roadblocks, and Ducky doesn’t do anything which involves heights, I think they would make for a pretty dynamic duo.

longneck

Longnecks don’t even have to worry about drowning or learning how to swim. No pool of water on The Amazing Race will be bigger than those guys.

15. “How amazing to see Alex connecting with th racers!!!”

—> “I wish he had stayed for all of them though”

I wish Trebek stayed for every team too, but something tells me Trebek just didn’t care. He probably doesn’t even remember any of the team’s names. They are a bunch of reality TV nobodies. They are below him and his lavish lifestyle.

16. ” I agrée why race if you cant swim”

Why is there an accent above the first ‘e’ in agree? Did someone happen to temporarily trigger the French setting on their keyboard? Tragically, I do that all of the time.

—> “they seem to be doing fine, i mean, overcoming a fear of dying in water is a piece of cake right?”

As long as that piece of cake is produced by Dairy Queen during TAR Canada, yes.

—> “One thing I realized tonight, wasn’t one of the clauses in order to participate in the show to be able to swim?? I seem to recall that when I applied…”

Do you seem to recall that? . . .or did you just make that up on the spot?

17. “When a team is saved by a non-elimination leg, I thougth that this team would get an extra task to perform in the following leg. Why I didn’t notice any yesterday?”

I swear there needs to be a PSA at the end of the last episode or the start of this episode to have Jon Montgomery clearly explain the rules regarding Keep On Racing legs. The audience would be less confused if you did that.

18. “Anyone else frustrated that taking a penalty isn’t really a penalty… The 2 father daughter teams caught up to the other racers at the ferry… As if a penalty didn’t matter at all.”

You can apply that to any team who really sucked at the end of the previous round on The Amazing Race Canada.

For some reason, producers (and Air Canada’s promotional limitations) love to prevent anything a team did in the previous round to be relevant in the subsequent round.

At least in TAR Asia 2 they had a pretty consistent pattern of equalizers occurring after a pair of eliminations were complete.  

The American version has held to this pattern in recent years as well due to TAR 13 creating the concept of having two legs play out back-to-back in the same city. While absolutely nobody remembers the second round playing out most of the time and its true purpose is to save on the budget, it does temporarily suspend equalizers.

P.S. I prefer an equalizer if we don’t have to put up with two rounds in Moscow in a row or two rounds in Delhi in a row.

19. “Does Simi know how to do anything without complaining?”

Do you know which one Simi is?

—> “I thought she was rather supportive and encouraging of her father…what show are you watching? Nic and Sabrina are the complainers…was happy to see them go!!”

—> ” “Are you sure you can’t swim?” at the CSI detour was complaining and she should consider herself very fortunate to have the opportunity to be on the Race when some applicants like my mother and I haven’t gotten the chance.”

You and people like myself need to accept the fact we weren’t cast for TAR Canada 3. I didn’t take it personally (mainly because I know it means they never watched my audition tape). The thousands of us who failed to be cast for the show in 2015 need to put our hands together and just let it be.

—> “They waited for the challenge to become available due to her father’s fear of water…after racing back and forth between both detours, I’m sure it was very stressful to stand there and wait. She was extremely supportive when they were crossing the lake and they had a lovely touching moment on the mat. I personally think they are very respectful and encouraging of each other. If you and your mother ever make it to the race, I’ll be routing for you. Good luck applying for the next race.”

Amen.

20. “Had trouble watching last night’s episode, particularly since some of the competitors had to eat worms!”

Do you have a worms phobia?

21. “Gino and Jesse nick and matt and Brian and Cynthia should be the final 3 teams competing in the championship final.”

—> “as long as Brian and Cynthia don’t get any better than 3rd place.”

The championship final? This is what bugs me about TAR Canada viewers. They all treat it like it is some sort of sporting event. TSN tasks, James Duthie involvement, and random Olympians giving out clues in Alberta and BC.

22. “Sudbury looks nice and all (300 lakes?? Sweet!), but I was a little bummed out on a couple challenges. I am the biggest fan of this show, having watched all seasons of the U.S., Norwegian, Asian, Australian, and Israeli version. With few exceptions, challenges/tasks in those versions have something to do with the area they are in.

The nickel mining task and the Big Nickel were perfect for Sudbury. Unfortunately, I felt the Detour and Roadblock were both too generic. They could’ve been done in any city in Canada. There was nothing that really screamed “This is totally a Sudbury thing!” Mind you, if Sudbury has the best CSI school or is the home of the Canadian Synchronized swimming team, then I will retract. I just feel they could have found more unique tasks to highlight Sudbury.

This is also highlighted with the upcoming leg in my home city of Saskatoon. Trampoline? That’s not unique and Saskatchewanian. Again, a task that could be anywhere. Though the other tasks in the preview are at least relevant to the area.

This is the main reason I hope in later seasons the show leaves Canada more. There’s only so many unique tasks one can do in one country.

That said, editing this episode was awesome, casting is top notch, and the camera work is beautiful. Not too mention Alex Trebec is all sorts of amazing. Just gotta make the challenges more relevant to the location. Please and thank you”

You’re hired!

23. “Eating those bugs, yuk
Soooo gross.
It was nice seeing Alex, such a great Canadian.”

connery

He disagrees.

24. “Why didn,t Alex Trebex stick it out to the end? Did he have to go home for dinner or early to bed?”

—> “give the guy a break, he’s not exactly a youngster and what purpose would it have served for him to stay until the wee hours…the early finishers got the bonus of meeting him”

—> “he doesn’t want to get more emotional, I saw him cry after the daughter and father arrive”

Alex Trebek retreating to his hotel because he was inconsolable after interacting with Simi & Ope is an amusing image.

MONTY: Alex, where are you going?

TREBEK (crying like Amber from Big Brother 8): This is. . .this is just too much, Monty.

MONTY: Oh c’mon Trebek. The viewers on The Amazing Race Canada fan page will tear you apart if you leave like this.

TREBEK (nostrils flared): That is EXACTLY why I have to leave, Monty! If my tears carry over to the arrival of other teams, that asshole named Logan will be all over it. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me at an emotional moment. He’ll probably say something like “if only IBM could install a chip so Trebek can be as composed as Watson” or “This game show host is a crybaby–Who is Alex Trebek?”

MONTY: I’ll just distract him by sending him pictures of every puppy I saw during the course of the race or tell him an embarrassing story about Devon–

TREBEK (throws up hands as he storms off): No! F–k this! This is over! And find some goddamn wrestlers who can paddle a canoe and not sully the waters of Ramsey Lake.

25. “Boggles my mind how many contestants go on this show and do not know how to swim. You know darn well a good portion of the challenges involve water.”

It’s called producers knowing how to make the race hilarious for viewers.

26. “I couldn’t imagine going on the show if I had a fear of water and couldn’t swim, but I give huge kudos to Ope for doing this, pushing forward and standing up to his fear for his daughter’s sake. I felt his horrible fear while sitting in that canoe. Hat’s off to Ope!”

ope

And sombreros!

27. “Really? Who is [the lead musician of the orchestra]? Oh right. You didn’t introduce the musicians.”

I didn’t even think about that. Monty talked about the three musicians before any of the teams entered the pit stop. Alex Trebek’s appearance ruined their big break onto the Sudbury orchestra scene.

orchestra

“Yay! Our orchestra and us as individuals will be introduced to three million viewers! Hooray!”

alex trebek

“An orchestra? Bah! What is “Trebek is here and taking over”, biatches?”

28. “I was confused by the title of the episode “who is Alex trebek” I thought that maybe there was a team who didn’t know who he was and asked on air but that never was aired. Guy is looking old and frail these days!
The episode itself was awesome! Glad to see nick and Sabrina gone, couldn’t stand that useless couple, just as bad as the brother sister combo from last season, whining and complaining about everything.”

The moustache is old and frail too. He didn’t even have one this week. Trebek without a moustache is like Andre 3000 without Big Boi. 

—> “Have you ever watched Jeopardy…the categories are the answers, the contestants respond with the question “Who is…, What is…” etc…get it now, “Who is Alex Trebek?”

—> “Ahaha now that makes sense lol”

. . .Did I just read somebody needing to explain the concept of Jeopardy! on a TAR Canada fan page?

29. “@GreaterSudbury paid the producers of the #AmazingRaceCanada a substantial amount of money to be filmed in #Sudbury. Fix our roads first.”

The money is gone, buddy. Time to move on.

30. “TIL there is a big nickel in Sudbury Ontario. Is this meant to be common knowledge in Canada? #AmazingRaceCanada”

Allow me to explain that.

Every single team left in the race except Simi & Ope either live within Ontario or in one of the neigbouring provinces (Manitoba and Quebec).

Essentially, the route marker just happened to be in a region where nearly all remaining teams have to live.

In other words, people like you and me have never heard of the Big Nickel before, and quite frankly, it’s not a piece of information I intend to be fighting to preserve in the near future.

31. “[Nic & Sabrina] should have been eliminated on the first episode!!!!!!!!”

Sadly, the only time a wish like this is ever granted is during TAR 12.

32. “She was so annoying!! Not her place to be on that show, like me!”

You know what? I don’t mind this complaint. It is an honest one. Usually people will say “those teams are so weak and shouldn’t be on there, but I know I would be awesome at it”.

This is the first time somebody has said “that person sucks as much as I would!”

33. “A “soccer” player can’t do a soccer challenge when everyone else succeed .”

As Trebek would say, “note that ‘soccer’ is in quotations. . .because it wasn’t soccer at all. #Blindfolds

I really wish Trebek competed against Nic in the blindfold soccer challenge and only take instructions from Sabrina.

Or comment on those random women from Newfoundland who might have been on this season as they investigated the Purse Lady in Argentina.

—> “Neither could the hockey players do the hockey challenge last year. 2 kids who had never been on ice skates before did the hockey challenge faster than 2 gold-medal olympians”

—> ” point taken. Just because you’re a “professional” don’t get cocky.”

—> “He wasn’t cocky, all he said was that he used to play professional soccer in the past…not like he was repeating it every second saying the challenge would be a piece of Cake..”

Why am I craving cake all of a sudden?

And yes, somebody needs to do an additional PSA and warn viewers that audio from confessionals can be repeated multiple times.

A lone light that is flashing yellow or telling David to not let go quickly comes to mind.

—> “I think that sometimes when you do something on a professional level, you have it stuck in your head that there is only one “right way.” Maybe it was hard for him to adjust because it’s not how he usually plays.”

I can assure you that those of Italian descent are stubborn. We really are set in our ways.

34. “Sorry but I didn’t like this couple . She was so annoying”

Apology accepted.

35. “Nic and Sabrina seem like a very sweet couple, but they were really hard to watch on the race. They quit the FIRST challenge instead of staying with it and watching the other teams to see how to get through it! On the run to the mat, she asked Nic to SLOW DOWN!! And he couldn’t do the lobster challenge because he’s afraid to put his face in the water. Come on – look at Ope. He’s terrified of water, but he is facing his fears head on. That’s what the show is about. You don’t go on this show a)without getting in better shape than you’re in and b) thinking you won’t have something you’re afraid of doing. I can’t say I was disappointed when they got eliminated last week. But, I have to say this: when you see a whiny, weak, irritating team like this, you have to wonder what the producers were thinking. But the producers did their job – they managed to pick a team they knew would bug a lot of people!! Well done, TARC, well done. I wish them well in their future – they may have been annoying as hell on the race but their relationship seems really loving and solid – and that’s all that matters!”

futurama original

CAN’T TELL IF THIS IS A COMPLAINT

.

.

.

OR A COMPLIMENT

NIC: “Thank you for thinking of us as sweet. Our relationship and love is solid, so great for you to have understood that. However, the first challenge on the show was unlocking bicycles and we didn’t quit there. Actually we didn’t quit anywhere. Penalties are there for a reason and are meant to be used and if used properly can be a strategic advantage for a team.
I think all teams wish that the legs of the race were 44 minutes long, unfortunately some last rather long and after a long day and maybe a sprained ankle or strained muscle here or there I expect there to be some slow down moments, after all we are not bionic, unless you might know some who are.
Yes, I’m extremely afraid of water. A near drowning experience as a child made me very scared- so forgive me for not diving head first into a tank of lobsters. However, Sabrina is afraid of water too but she tackled the obstacle course head on without stopping and completed it. Sure it was difficult, and as Sabrina is human and has emotions she cried, because that is how some people react, we can’t all be perfect now can we.
I’d like to ask you how long you really think the teams have before they get officially cast. Because other than being contestants, we do have lives that require us to go to work every day or school, I’m sure you know all about these sorts of commitments. Your comments about us being whiny, weak and irritating show us more about you than it does about us. Because if only you knew half of our life story those words would never come near to thought. The teams picked on the show are selected based on personality, not level of irritability- in case you were wondering. I hope you don’t instill these values of judging people to your family, specifically your kids or grandkids because that is a sad, dark and rather bully-like mentality to grow up with. My mom always told me, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all- you’ll live longer that way and collect less grey hair in the process.
Thank you for your less than constructive comments throughout the season. I hope you thoroughly enjoy the rest of the show!”

TL; DR

—> “Nic, I am sorry I hurt your feelings – this was not an attack on you or Sabrina; they were my observations as you presented yourselves on the show. I am sorry about your past near-drowning experience as a child, but I stand by my comment about facing your fears as being a huge reason to go on the show. Again, my comments were based strictly on what YOU put out there in public. In a world of social media reaction, you need to have a thick skin for stuff like this. I know this because of the job my two kids do. I would never speak to your off-screen personality because that’s not what we saw. Again, my apologies for hurting your feelings, and I do wish you and Sabrina many happy years together.”

Oddly enough, I suspected Nic and/or Sabrina had a traumatic experience in the water.

And yes, I am just hearing this for the first time. She made it sound like Nic just talked about it in his essay. Oh well, it was too long for me to read anyway.

36. ” I was hoping they’d be eliminated earlier. Almost stopped watching the show because of them. They are perfect for each other. Screening process needs some tweaking.”

Nic & Sabrina: The reason why TAR Canada was canceled and went off the air. Canada’s most successful program in the history of television gone down the drain because of a pair of Italian aquaphobic quad-lingual lovebirds that love baking cookies. Such evil resides within them.

aqua

For the record, this is the only form of Aquaphobia that I suffer from. It creeps the crap and also the bajeesus out of me.

If you’ve ever heard the Dutch punk version of this, it is even more uncanny.

37. “I think some of these comments are harsh and unjustified. Unless you all saw a different show, they were nothing but nice to each other, they did every challenge the way they needed to. It is very easy to sit behind a key board and judge. They played the game smartly. Yeah, she was not so fit but none of the rest are either less two teams and one was eliminated leg 2. Its not all about fitness. You have to be strategic and that they were. Please remember the show is edited and we did not see everything. They filmed 48 hours to play one hour’s worth. That is a lot of cutting out of stuff. Not only for them but other teams. I am certain this couple will make it. I wish them lots of luck. You did Montreal very proud.”

Blah blah blah this isn’t the place to be the voice of reason.

38. “My family was so happy when they were eliminated! All she did was complain !!”

I guess it’s one way to get over the Wednesday hump.

SABRINA: “when did i complain? did you watch the same show i was on? i was scared of the first challenge, that’s were it ended and i cried….yes i cried cause i was so scared…..are you scared of anything or are you superman?”

superman 64

Yep. The guy who loves flying through 64-bit rings has plenty to say about your performance on TAR Canada, Sabrina.

.

.

.

However, I do think he might have had trouble with the horse riding challenge in Quebec. :/

—> “Thank you Sabrina for proving my point.!”

NIC: “Actually she addressed your poorly misjudged conception of what was represented on the show. Seems like you’re the one who did more complaining than anyone else”

—> “Ha ha ha ha….wow this just made my day. Can’t wait to show everyone I know that you guys are exactly how the show portrayed you.”

(RANDOM FAN enters their workplace with a printout of the screencaps of this conversation.)

RANDOM FAN: Hey Ted, look at this!

TED (sigh): Bill, is this about that couple on that reality show again?

RANDOM FAN: Nic & Sabrina? If so, yes.

TED (sighs again): Yeah, Nic and. . .whatever the hell her name is. What is it this time?

RANDOM FAN: So I was talking about them on Facebook last night and Sabrina–

TED (walks into the employee’s bathroom): Don’t care, Bill!

(RANDOM FAN shrugs, and peers into the break room.)

RANDOM FAN (putting the screenshots on the table): Hey Judy, you’re not going to–

JUDY (texting on her cell phone): I don’t have cable, Bill.

NIC: “Take as many screenshots as you like, it’s only normal that people you associate with will think like you, if ones ability for cognitive reasoning is of a certain level you can’t expect much, can you.
Don’t expect to say something about someone and then when that someone writes back you elude to your framed perception of them as your answer.
I do not suggest a career path that involves logic and/or reasoning. You might have some trouble with that.”

Geez. Nic can speak all four languages fluently. 

—> “For the record, I’m [his] wife and I do not share my husband’s views. Congrats to the two of you on a great season!”

Burn.

39. “People who write positive comments are all fake profiles”

And all were created by Nic, Sabrina, Shahla, Nabeela, Rex, and Bob.

40. “They were too emotional”

jonathan victoria intro

adam wood 1

You’ll love TAR 6.

41. “Rats! This is a major spoiler for me! I was going to watch this tonight.”

You posted this six days after the episode aired. C’mon, did you expect everybody to observe a week of silence? Was Nic & Sabrina’s elimination really that tragic?

In other news, it was a sled, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, and M. Bison is still alive.

42. “Man Nic and Sabrina seem to be on this thread full force trying to defend themselves against people who didn’t like them. Get over yourselves cause nit every one is going to like you. And guess what? That’s ok not every one has to be in love with you. Yeah people found you whiney. Maybe you should just brush it off cause thats life”

But that wouldn’t make this Funniest Complaints blog entertaining this week. Much like the show, Nic & Sabrina’s presence is what pushes everything around them to the next level.

NIC: “The fact that you think we need to get over ourselves is the exact reason why we have been posting. I was raised knowing that if someone addresses you, it is common courtesy to respond back. We definitely are not expecting all fans to love us but we definitely did not ask for us as people to be insulted.
Someone insults your child or bullies them, I really hope you don’t tell them to get up and brush it off because that’s life.”

And that’s why Brian & Cynthia don’t have children–they can be mean and “nasty” to everybody they like without repercussions down the road!

—> “I think you’re forgetting that this is the internet. Where people are going to say harsh things. What you don’t know is I was harshly bullied as a child so I learned when to let things go and when to stand up for myself. You need to know that this is one of those times”

NIC: “Out of anyone then you should understand. You’re saying we should brush it off yet you mentioned standing up for one self?
Some people are not as strong as you, good on you that you were able to get on with your life, not everybody can. I mentor kids who get bullied and the get up and brush it off attitude cannot be applied universally, regardless whether bullying is done via the internet or in elementary schools.”

This discussion. . .went surprisingly smooth. I commend you all.

43. “Yes. [Nic & Sabrina] were very committed to each other. Best wishes to the rest of the teams. It would be nice to see one of the father/daughters win for a change and there are not any female teams left.”

There hasn’t been any all-female teams around in TAR Canada for a long time. In fact, three weeks since they went through their own sixth mass extinction.

And do you really want a father/daughter team to win? Haven’t you seen Hussein & Natasha in TAR Asia 4? Ugh.

44. “Although no one else that I watch the show with actually liked these two, I did. And I pretended not to like them for the sake of everyone else in my family… So sad to see them go. They weren’t my favourite team because Nick & Matt exist, but they were up there at the top. You two were great and it really sucks to see you go (especially since Dujean & Leilani [ugh] were ALMOST eliminated).”

Replacing a diss with another diss. Could DuJean & Leilani become the new Nic & Sabrina?

45. “Pfft those 2 seriously shouldn’t be together , she’s such a b**** , Nic , break up with her and find a decent , younger woman lol”

He is 22. How much younger do you expect him to go?

SABRINA: “lol i didn’t know we knew each other personally….you should learn to have a bit more class when you speak…watch your mouth.”

The twist: She does!!

But seriously, a fun game would be for TAR fans to play matchmaker and decide which contestants truly belong together. I would personally pair Cynthia with Nick!

NIC: “For the sake of what is seemingly your child in your profile picture I hope you don’t instill the same values you’re showing us.
Great parenting! Maybe one day a stranger will call your child or children (in this context I really do hope it’s only child) a bitch, or bullies your child or even physically or psychologically messes with them. I’d like to see how you would react. I hope they and you may never go through something like that. For the development of your child I really do hope that this is not the type of atmosphere they are exposed to.”

Either Nic is being sarcastic or I am suddenly very concerned.

46. “Sabrina go to get another boyfriend… I wish the best for you if you marry this poor guy.”

The Montagues want Nic to dump Sabrina, and the Capulets wish for Sabrina to ditch Nic. No matter how hard you try, their love shall not break!

—> “I feel sorry for him . When your girlfriend can’t run in a “race”. Wtf.”

dave o' leary crutches funny

It wouldn’t be the first time.

47. “Gotta say, I hate how the last 2 legs were structured. I hate continuation legs in general because the last place team doesn’t have to do a speed bump. But to them bunch everybody up again, it’s like the previous leg never happened. 2 teams took FOUR HOUR penalties and the only ones actually punished were the 2 teams that wasted their U-turn ability because they foolishly thought the leg counted for something.”

The previous leg never happened. Just like how we’ve always been at war with Eurasia.

In other news, TAR Canada allows you to use the U-Turn an infinite number of times. You are absolutely right. The only thing the Quebec round affected is overall team average statistics which the hardcore TAR nerds keep track of on a weekly basis.

48. “The cops need to stop bragging and start doing the tasks as good as they have been doing”

Bragging? They said “we are cops and could probably do this task and the CPR task well”, and comedic smugness when pretending they are not cops.

—> “Promoting [Gino & Jesse/VoldeMussolinis], way too much. Make it fair, not everyone’s favorite, for sure.”

It’s called editing teams to create a long term storyline. You have to give viewers teams to root for regardless if the team is super lame.

shanghai jet cord mccoy 4

Yeah, I’m looking at you TAR 16. . .and 18. . .and 24.

49. “Amazing Race Canada contestants are so very different from the ones on Amazing Race USA. they share, are polite, kindhearted & don’t blame others for their mistakes. But then they are CANADIAN!”

—> “You do realize that 98% of Americans are nothing like the contestants that are cast, and then edited, for drama. Hopefully, TAR Canada will have 26 seasons. I’m betting we’ll see some people that aren’t too nice there, too.”

—> “I realize how a ‘reality show’ is done, I just like the Canadian show better & we’re seeing lots of Canada that we had no idea about.”

Wow, it only took one year for viewers to “forget” about Pierre and The Michels.

It should be noted in TAR US that we had Tara & Wil, Frank & Margarita, Matt & Ana, Kim & Leslie, and Chris & Alex (a bit) as of the end of the third season in terms of mean-spirited teams being edited.

50. “any chance of the Amazing Race Canada coming to Vancouver Island in BC? we do have lots to challenge someone, especially the Bathtub race every July.”

They did. Last season. Two rounds.

shahla kara 2

And it delivered.

estonia shawn king

And it popped.

Tragically, the bathtub race didn’t make the cut. Too bad TAR Canada is restricted to filming in April and May!

51. “Can I get tickets to After the Race?”

lol no. James Duthie can’t handle a crowd. And if he did, he would give everybody jerseys from a sports franchise struggling to be relevant. We’d get Expos jerseys or something like that.

52. “I’ll take a box of tissues for $100, Alex.”

I never knew somebody liked Alex Trebek that much.

53. “Can’t believe person who can’t swim could pass the amazing race audition. By the way, I always thought amazing race Canada should call amazing fitness Canada lol”

bodybreak 2

KEEP FIT

AND F–K OFF was indeed the TAR Canada 1 slogan. They are the pioneers of TAR Canada fitness.

54. “I’m not sorry to see Nick and Sabrina go – they were pretty much the dumbest team in this season and were not able to maintain equanimity in the face of stress and pressure.”

At least the person from earlier was apologetic.

And have you ever tried to say the word ‘equanimity’ aloud? It’s a tough one. In the words of Bill Nye, “go ahead–try it!”

55. “Pretty weak sauce for a fast forward in my opinion”

Welcome to Sudbury. And yes, the Fast Forward was rather lame. I agree with all sincerity.

56. “I’m clearly in the minority in not liking the twins. Hate seeing young, fit, 20-something male/male teams on the race as they’re practically a shoo-in to win. Would rather it be anyone’s race to win.”

I hereby decree all teams in their 20s who are both men can no longer apply for The Amazing Race Canada. In fact, we will only cast unskilled teams to ensure everything is equal. Everyone’s average finishing position will not deviate more than a point away from 4.30.

57. “I’m afraid to vote [to fuel for my favourite]! I don’t want any more of my faves to be eliminated”

—> “Vote for Kristin then….. She annoys the hell out of me”

Well played.

58. ” I kinda laughed at [Brian & Cynthia] cause they were so sure they were gonna ace this roadblock and “faking” not being cops, it made them look beyond stupid….. funny how others got it before them especially the wrestlers!!”

Because the wrestlers are beyond stupid when it comes to backyard CSI mini games created by a few pimple-faced first year university students?

—> ” I think that is called being hoisted on their own petard – couldn’t happen to two “nicer” people. Their initial comments set the stage for how they view themselves.”

We don’t even know how they view themselves. Did Brian & Cynthia go through an extensive on-air self-assessment that we are unaware about?

All they said is that being cops taught them the importance of preserving the crime scene. Preserving the crime scene wasn’t apart of the task–plotting dots on a page like you are using a Stats computer program was.

—> “They are full of themselves…In other words: Ils sont des idiots parfaits.”

I love parfait! Peanut buster parfait, in particular.

—> “also, that she could “ace’ the CPR because she was an ex-paramedic–oh, oh. I hope they don’t win it all !!”

—> “Don’t like em.”

—> “i can assure you, they dont give a s–t what you think”

—> “Just like I don’t give a s–t what you think.”

I swear I couldn’t write this stuff myself.

—> “Just play the game. Some of the things you bragged About didn’t quite work in your favour”

Note to self: Whenever I get cast, I really don’t want any task which relates to my profession. It’s a lose-lose situation. Either I will be expected to do the best out of everyone, or I will be humiliated and automatically labelled as somebody who thought could excel at the task.

59. “I don’t hate anybody, but after Nic & Sabrina, Brian & Cynthia are my least favourite – ever since the way she treated Hamilton at the Mentos challenge!”

—> “Actually they helped Hamilton, they had been there for several hours before he showed up, they gave him a pen… Also why not hate on nick… He was working with Cynthia.”

Neil. All big athletes look alike.

—> “I don’t blame her. They ha already done all the work, why make it easier on him and possibly give them a huge advantage”

—> “I already said I didn’t “hate” anybody- he didn’t ask Nick for help, just Cynthia. I was surprised she didn’t help cause Hamilton still had the express pass to give away. Just my opinion!”

Neil. Neil.

—> “But she was working with Nick. What was Hamilton going to do, tear the pass in half? I didn’t see Nick offering any help, either. There was no fair way to give out the pass. Jmo, also.”

NEIL! Dammit, guys.

—> “No one hammers on Neil for not helping because ARC edits and portrays them in a glowing light”

You didn’t see the complaints blog last week, did you? He was supposed to kick Kristin’s ass, but failed as a father.

60. “[Brian & Cynthia] are too cocky!!!! They think that they are some type of Super heroes”

—> “they are”

Indeed. Their powers are as follows and not limited to: Drinking a glass of beer in one chug, knowing every piece of trivial information about Monty Hall, cracking coconuts with their butt, pleasing bulls, and spotting route markers from far distances.

—> “Is it too soon to say “losers”?”

Seeing as how they are still in the race and not yet eliminated at the present moment. . .yes.

—> ” I was getting a good giggle that their high egos and bragging to the viewers just made them look ridiculous.
Hope that knocked them down a little to become more humble
They were shown up by Nick and Matt (woohoo boys) for two things they were professionally trained for!
Like I said before…what you do for a living is meaningless during this type of challenge”

The Woohoo Boys sounds like a great new tag team name for them. Ditch “Hate Machine” Nick & Matt, Woohoo Boys has been your true identity all along!

And I am sure the two dogs they live with in rural Manitoba will sense their humbleness upon returning home, and gain a bit more respect for their masters.

61. “loved the way that played out! served them right for being “full” of themselves. then look at what happened with the CPR! all I can think is that for a former paramedic there was no excuse for failing that task! thank God no family member needed to rely on this “expertise”!”

62. “I was never bothered by  [Brian & Cynthia], they weren’t my favourite but they didn’t drive me crazy either but after the last episode, omg! First all the talk about how they are cops this detour will be a breeze, took them 4 trys? And then again at the road block, her being a paramedic for 13 years and it took her 4-5x to do chest compressions, I wont want them to investigate a crime for me or save me lol. I think they need to do a lot less talking and not come across so full of themselves because they made themselves look stupid last episode.

#TeamGinoandJesse”

Your opinion no longer mattered the second you hashtagged support for the VoldeMussolinis.

63. ” i dont like her…..she never smiles, and she doesnt seem to enjoy the race. i would be smiling just to be among thode people. how about being proud your from winnipeg”

—> “Actually if you watch the show, the give props to Winnipeg lots. Milk challenge with the Prairie girls rock comments for example”

I measure my fandom for a team by the number of shoutouts they give to the Okanagan.

For instance, Susan & Sharnjit just came through my town for a wine tour a couple weeks ago. Just like that they top the list, and I didn’t even pay Chevrolet to cut them off mid-sentence.

—> “My only real issue I have is that there just doesn’t seem to be any real enjoyment on their part. A smirk isn’t a smile, no laughter, no…oh my… this is beautiful here, and guess what? Include a smile. It takes less energy to smile than it does to frown…and you feel wonderful when you do it!”

They don’t smile for you in the limited footage shown? That’s your beef with them?

massari smile for me

The only time you are supposed to smile for me is if you are paid by Massari and Loon in a music video.

—> “how the f–k do you know what they feel. they have 5 mins of dialogue a week and they are gonna waste it by saying random bull s–t to make you believe they are having fun? yeah ok”

A bull’s s–t is not exactly Brian’s area of interest.

—> “Lol do you kiss your mom with that mouth? Your right?five minutes of dialogue each show, how many episodes have there been so far…..I think I’ve seen half a smile so far….you should have taken their place…your much more entertaining than they are..at least you show some emotion”

india kelly christy 4

Even Frowny McFrownersons from TAR 13 managed to squeeze in a smile.

—> “they have a dry sense of humour, not sure how you cant see that in the episodes, clearly they are having fun with all the witty remarks being made. I’m glad they aren’t annoyingly loud like kristen”

Does no one know how to spell her name correctly? Anyone? Perhaps they need to change their team name to “Nick & Kristen”.

—> “The wrestlers are so funny too but at least they all seem to be having a great time….”

—> “I really think they are edited that way… One thing about them I’ve noticed is they control their emotions well… Until next week… Looks like Brian gets “vocal” lol”

—> “Making Winnipeg look bad…and I dont mean these two….smh.”

Oh man. It’s getting real, now!

64. “They don’t have to be open about what they do for a living. No one else has really come out with what they do. So what’s the problem.”

You know it’s 2015 when Transgender people have an easier time coming out about who they are than a pair of cops.

jon montgomery nova scotia

I guess Monty won’t be hugging Brian & Cynthia and commending them for staying true to who they are when they get eliminated.

65. “Disappointed… show started off great. Wish there were more international destinations.”

Preach it! You mean Sudbury isn’t the reason you watch The Amazing Race? Think about the turtles, dangit!

66. “I’m from Sudbury and basically laughed so hard cause the very next day it aired we had an emergency Nitrogen Dioxide leak from the main mine chimney and a part of Sudbury was on lock down and people had to stay in doors and keep their windows shut and loud sirens was going off for a couple hours. It was like a morning apocalypse… So ya…sudburys great. Come live here and breathe our fresh air. Lol”

At least the episode would have been more interesting. I can already picture the headline:

trebek

BELOVED GAME SHOW HOST DIES IN NITROGEN DIOXIDE LEAK–THREE MUSICIANS STILL AT LARGE

67. “I think Thunder Bay is far more outdoorsy, however I may be a little biased.”

Gee, I wonder why. I hear Sudbury is to Thunder Bay what Wullerton is to Dog River.

68. “I thought ARC was better than this. If I would want to watch ppl eat gross things I’d watch old reruns of Fear Factor.”

allan wu fear factor 11

And if you DO decide to watch old reruns of Fear Factor, please watch the episode where Allan Wu competes before he becomes famwus as the host of The Amazing Race Wusia.

One of my friends from the online community showed me his episode on my birthday and it was the best birthday present ever.

69. “Why isn’t there a team from PEI? Disappointing”

And we’re right back where we started on day one. Beautiful.

***

Alright guys. It’s only fitting that Nic & Sabrina’s elimination turned into a Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in terms of complaints length, and I seriously hope there are fewer complaints in the next few weeks because this took hella long to get through.

Thanks to everyone for being good sports whenever I write about TAR and reality TV in general–the community has been (mostly) good to me over the past few years.

Remember to be kind and respect those around you. Peace!

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But if you want to be extra kind, listen to the weekly podcast I co-host for YATNcast each week. If the season is in English, we’ll be talkin’ about it!

Click here to listen to my voice and my awful impressions–unfortunately you cannot see my man bun. My sincerest of apologies.

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One Response to Funniest Complaints About The Amazing Race Canada 3 Week 6 Edition

  1. We can always update your picture with one of your man bun being visible!

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