Ranking the Recappers of The Amazing Race Canada 3 Week 5 Edition

Well it’s once again time to critique and judge my absolute FAVOURITE people on the Internet.

NOTE: There are four Amazing Race Canada recap blogs that are ranked based upon arbitrary criteria. The highest scorer for each week scores four points. Second place receives three points while third place gets two points. The lowest scorer earns just one point.

STANDINGS AT THE END OF WEEK FOUR

GORD AND WAYNE: 14 pts

SUE’S REALITY CANADA: 12 pts

RHAP: 9 pts

YOUR REALITY RECAPS: 4 pts

We’ll lead off with RHAP first this week.

1) RHAP

Likes:

– Being pro-Double Battle.

– Did research on Magdalen weather.

– “Complete and total lack of facing off” was a quote which amused me.

– Hamrotz LaMillion shoutout!

– Copied my Swedish hay bale joke in the screen cap. Yay!

– Didn’t talk down to the readers as much as The Temp’s Temp did.

Dislikes:

– While the twist may be a failure from a production standpoint, it had a huge positive reaction from the audience. Neil & Kristin even said they want to start their own kayak hockey league, and they didn’t even play in the challenge!

– Why does Neil receive kudos for looking after Kristin’s health? Wouldn’t it have been funnier if he just left her there?

– Weird page formatting. A rarity for RHAP recaps.

– Teams did get their feet wet, though.

– Not criticizing producers enough for how many mistakes they made with planning this leg.

– I couldn’t tell if Brent & Sean were being praised or dissed for not using their irrelevant Express Pass this week.

– As my brother would say, gaining/losing momentum in a sporting competition is a false concept. An illusion, if you will.

– Missed that RHAPpy punch.

– Praising the VoldeMussolinis for getting their mojo back.

– Too many teams were ignored or not mentioned in the recap

2) Sue’s Reality Canada

Likes:

– The recap title being “How to Milk a Bull and Live to Tell About It

– “The REAL Face Off seemed to be shooting off one-liners among the teams”

– Acknowledging Hamilton & Michaelia had no chance

– Specified the weather even more so than RHAP.

– LESLIE NIELSEN!!!!!!!!!!! I made a Wrongfully Accused joke during episode one when Nick was in contact with Cynthia inappropriately on the net.

– “This isn’t good for guys. Or anyone really.”

– I also made the Nicholas Cage/Travolta movie joke. Imagine if Sabrina and Nick/Matt switched?

– Calls out production for not giving the precise amount of time for the pre-determined penalty.

– lol at the bull commentary.

– Explains the unfair distinction between NELs and KORs.

Dislikes:

– The Phage will give me nightmares.

– Ew. Star Trek.

– Spelled Kristin’s name wrong. 50/50 shot!

– I wanted to know more about surfboard soccer.

– Thought Nic/Sabrina should have been given a penalty. I’d like to think Nic/Sabrina more of winning their duel by default. The other team just happened to forfeit in advance.

– I disagree with the W-Turn being used in a non-diplomatic fashion. Before the episode started, I thought this would be the most acceptable W-Turn outcome for the audience and the other players. Absolutely nobody was angered by how it all went down. Nobody was “innocently” U-Turned.

– Of course the VoldeMussolinis had to receive a free year of gas. I mean, the prize was to fly anywhere within Canada. Do you know how lame that travel prize is?

– Did Brent & Sean really have a great performance? The only teams they beat were two who took a four hour penalty and Sabrina who had to do a Roadblock.

– I think the quotes used at the end could have been integrated into the earlier portion of the recap in an amusing fashion.

3) YOUR REALITY RECAPS

Likes:

– “Divide an concur” is followed up by “the Kin of the castle”.

Dislikes:

– An awkward sentence and a typo within the first three sentences.

– Too much summary.

– The same complaints I had from the previous four weeks: Too rushed and needs more analysis. Siiiiigh.

– No pop culture connections or references to other seasons of TAR.

– Opts to be very specific when it comes to details surrounding Brent & Sean’s progression in the race.

4) GORD AND WAYNE

Likes:

– Acknowledging the Double Battle history.

– Telling producers to not suck as much as TAR US when it comes to designing tasks.

– Incorporating the term “object permanence” into the blog.

– Importing the Yield hourglass would have been amusing.

– Shares my terror of anything to do with TAR 6.

– Yes, also references the milk comment as well.

– Magdalen Islands are north of Halifax? Huh. Whadayouknow.

– There’s one joke in there that I don’t want to repeat.

– “Come on guys, it’s a race not a date” amused me. Boom. Roasted.

Dislikes:

– How was it old school TAR? There was just a bunch of crazy twists that happened. Isn’t that what newer TAR is known for?

– Much like all other blogs, nobody attempted a Borat impression like I did. So sad. I guess I have the best Borat impression by default!

– I don’t care about what would happen if you two played at the beach.

– The IB boys = The Italian Boys. . .boys?

– Spelled Kristin as “Kristine”. Can nobody get her name right?!

– You may not have been confused by the editing, but I bet the casual viewers were.

– Are mines really that cool?

– Gord didn’t know the Double Battle/Face Off is a staple in most international versions.

– Gord and Wayne both said they would have taken their kids to the hospital if they were in Kristin’s condition. Geez, didn’t you see my complaints blog, guys? Neil is just reinforcing his daughter to be WEAK!!!!!!

– What does Gord’s wedding anniversary have to do with anything?

***

WEEK 5 RESULTS

It was a showdown as this may not have been the strongest week for recaps, but I do think somebody did something to make them the favourites for this week.

FIRST PLACE: SUE’S REALITY CANADA

This competition would be no fun if Gord & Wayne ran away with it, eh?

While Sue may not reference other TAR seasons as much as her Albertan and American counterparts, but her recap once again balanced between analysis and summary.

She wasn’t quite on fire as much as other weeks, but the truth of the matter is that nobody else was either. When there are too many twists to cover in a single episode, I understand this is bound to happen.

What ultimately put her on top this week was the Leslie Nielsen cameo. If you know anything about me, pop culture references are somewhat my specialty when it comes to discussing TAR. . .or anything in general, really. Intertextualization FTW!

Oh, and Sue tends to take inappropriate jokes one step further than the other recappers. I think that is becoming a trend as well. Considering my nickname for Diane & Ann from TAR Asia 2 was “The MILFinators”, this may not come as much of a surprise, sadly.

So good job Sue, and you continue to close the gap. . .or slowly filling the hole, depending if you want to keep referencing last week’s episode.

SECOND PLACE: GORD AND WAYNE

Ah. The silver medal is once again yours!

Nothing went particularly badly for you guys this week. The only major note of criticism I have is that Gord’s recap is too long. I think the length can be preserved, but you have to pack in either the occasional analytical or comedic punch to keep the audience engaged.

It is like the formula to Gilmore Girls. Sure, there is A LOT of dialogue and story each episode, but you need at least a joke per minute to keep it alive for the audience.

This is of course coming from a guy who has had zero literary achievements while you two are taking over the Albertan landscape. Oh, and I hear people love being lectured by those who are more than half of their age.

In other words, my opinion may or may not mean very little.

THIRD PLACE: RHAP

The Temp’s Temp ended his short-lived two week reign, but Jess may need an additional week to get back in the saddle.

For the first time ever, the page wasn’t formatted the same way as it was in all of the other weeks. This threw me off.

Also, I am glad there was no mention of Dana & Amanda being a surprise elimination this week. Phew.

Overall, there wasn’t that ending knockout which I typically see at the end of most blogs, and that is what Sue was able to accomplish this week. I think that sharp wit hasn’t been fully restored yet. Perhaps it is simply your reputation of past actions which puts my expectations of the recap at a slightly higher bar than anyone else.

For instance, this summer is the first time I have communicated with Sue on social media. I had no idea what to make of her, and her material is pleasantly fresh.

FOURTH PLACE: YRR

For the fifth week in a row, YRR are stuck in the cellar. Same old same old. You know the story by now.

Feel free to be optimistic and expect them to be firing on all of somebody else’s cylinders, and succeed by pulling a reverse Drake (that is, starting out awesome but then becoming terrible later on in your career and ruining the whole Canadian hip hop genre in the process).

So, let’s total up the points and update the standings.

GORD AND WAYNE: 17 pts

SUE’S REALITY CANADA: 16 pts

RHAP: 11 pts

YOUR REALITY RECAPS: 5 pts

***

Alright. Episode six of TAR Canada airs on the west coast here in just over an hour.

1. You already know about my TARstorian blog. My coverage of each episode of TAR is one of the most insane reality TV blogging projects anyone has ever witnessed.

2. You already know about my weekly Funniest Complaints, Predictions and Editing Analysis, and Ranking the Recappers blog.

3. But what you probably didn’t know about (along with my Okanagan blog on a separate WordPress website) is that I talk about each episode of TAR Canada as they air. This is a weekly podcast I co-host as part of YATNcast.

Do you fancy a listen? Click here.

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