Are you one of my readers who is here strictly for the stats and rankings?
Well, here are all of the finale stats and rankings in part two: https://thesupacoowackiestblogintheuniverse.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/the-amazing-race-asia-4-season-finale-rankings-part-two/
If not, then keep reading!
Final Round Ever
“Where WuMazing Happens”
MALAYSIA – SRI LANKA – PHILIPPINES – NEW ZEALAND – AUSTRALIA – INDONESIA – SOUTH KOREA – SINGAPORE
This is a sad day, folks. It is the final round in the history of TAR Asia.
After TAR Asia 4’s season finale airs, two things occur:
1) Allan Wu moves to China and proceeds to host four seasons of the China Rush series, and returns to take over an overwhelmed host for TAR China Celebrity Edition.
2) The production crew for TAR Asia relocates to Australia, and produces the first two TAR Australia seasons. TAR Asia was not exactly in a poor state regarding sponsours or ratings.
My friend Eamon, who is friends with Pamela & Vanessa’s brother, told me that logistics was a big enough issue to restrain the series. Do you know why so many teams in the Asia series have dual citizenship? Such as teams from the Philippines in the past all hailing from the US, Australia, or Canada for the most part?
Well, that is because teams would use their Western side of their citizenship in order to travel to all of the necessary locations. Certain countries in Asia have enough of a restriction on traveling to certain places that TAR Asia producers were ultimately planning routes with one arm tied behind their back.
You’ll notice that this season repeated a lot of locations from the first three seasons. The American TAR series did almost nothing original in TAR 4 in terms of travel, but TAR Asia producers knew nothing was going to change in the near future. Just think of how difficult it must be to plan a race for teams who need to meet the following requirements:
a) Live in Asia
b) Have a passport that allows them to travel
c) Speak fluent English
d) Be a compelling team If I was a producer, this would be a massive headache.
They clearly wanted a change, and explored everything they could with this series. Do I consider a four-season run to be a failure? Absolutely not.
I recall the story of how Survivor was created. When Jeff Probst was interviewed to host the program, he took a look at the overall concept and thought “wow, this show will be a huge hit. I could see it lasting about four seasons”.
You read that correctly. A four-season run is viewed as being a huge hit for a television show. As of 2015, The Amazing Race is on the verge of cancellation as season twenty-freakin-six prepares to air. Survivor is on season thirty and will do plenty more, and Big Brother is gearing up for season seventeen.
Include foreign versions of TAR and Big Brother here in Canada and Australia, and you have a genre that everybody is stunned to have lasted this long.
Hell, TAR Canada is the most successful Canadian television show in my nation’s history. Big Brother Canada 2 smashed record ratings on a lesser known channel, and is being promoted to our biggest station in the country. Canada is truly taking over this genre. But hey, we’ve got a while to go before we discuss TAR Canada. We only have. . .
Eight more seasons to go. Prepare for 2017!
So, watch this finale not with the mindset of depression due to it being the end, but be happy that we were able to have forty-eight rounds of TAR’s first English-speaking spin-off series.
NOTE: Next week I will do a special bonus package where I rank all forty TAR Asia teams in a single list. From there we move on to TAR 17.
Previously on TAR Asia 4: Four teams set off from Lombok, Indonesia and traveled to Pohang in Korea. Answering questions about each other left no doubt as to who was the least favourite team. At the Detour, Jess & Lani continued to be target practice.
Jess & Lani were the only team not to hire a cab driver as a guide, but their choice not to spend money left them at the back of the pack.
Three final teams Wumain; who will win The Amazing Race Asia?
– Intro time.
TEAMS MENTIONED IN THE PREVIOUSLY ON SEGMENT TALLY
SUNAINA & DIMPLE: 4
IVAN.HILDA: 4 –
Allan introduces us to the pond. One final history lesson.
Since this is the final Asian blog, I will finally speak up for the first time in a while.
IT IS NOT A RACE “AROUND” THE WORLD!!!!! YOU ARE NOT CIRCUMNAVIGATING S–T! JUST SAY “IT IS A RACE THROUGHOUT ASIA AND THE AUSTRALIAN CONTINENT”! STOP. F–KING. LYING TO US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, let’s move.
– Hussein & Natasha, who were the first team to arrive at an undisclosed time, will depart first at 1:00pm. They read that they must fly to Singapore. Once there they must make their way to Cavenagh Bridge where they will find traditional lion dancers. The lion dancers will give them their next clue.
I wish the lions knew how to line dance.
HUSSEIN: Singapore is where I was born!
GREAT! No one cares.
She has dreamed of this since she was a child.
– Hussein asks the driver if he speaks English.
NATASHA: Just tell him airport, Dad! Geez!
You mean non-English speaking taxi drivers know what the word ‘airport’ means?
C’mon, you have to be fluent in English to know that! It’s not like taxi drivers deal with English speaking tourists all of the time!
**DISCLAIMER** Because teams are traveling to Singapore, it is mandatory that I remind you that gambling hurts. Take a look.
“Who do you think will win The Amazing Race Asia? I think it will be Hussein & Natasha. They will carry their momentum to the end.”
“I hope the Richards win.”
“My dad bet all my savings on them.”
His dad may be a TAR oracle if things keep up. Or maybe his dad is from RFF. Who knows.
– Richards are second to depart at 1:10pm.
HERRERA: For the final leg we’ve been trying to think of ways to run faster and be more efficient.
Which begins with myself and Hardin staring at that purple scarf on Herrera’s left arm. – Hardin borrows the taxi driver’s cell phone.
Sunglasses and spacing out? I think somebody had a bit too much fun on Saturday night.
– Herrera tries to jog his memory about Singapore. Hardin mentions Herrera was there two years ago.
So, to summarize: 1) Hussein was born in Singapore.
2) Herrera visited Singapore recently. And three. . .
“West Singapore: Born and raised!”
Claire mimes a crystal ball in front of her, and foresees her own victory.
– Claire feels everything coming down to this final leg.
They are so excited that they split off in different directions. Calm down, rebels!
Michelle and Claire’s advantage is not as big as we thought it was going to be.
After a routine “cleaning”, of course.
– All three teams are on a flight to Gimpo. However, Michelle & Claire are on standby for the flight from Gimpo to Singapore.
– Allan informs us that once in Gimpo, teams will need to take taxis to the international airport and make connecting flights.
Fun fact: Gimpo is the city known for creating a free paint program!
– Remember how Allan repeated several times in the ‘Previously On’ segment that the last leg took place in South Korea? And how teams started at a pond here in South Korea? And how teams are on a domestic flight to Gimpo? Oh, and how we saw the words ‘South Korea’ numerous times on the map?
Just in case you forgot.
– Hussein & Natasha get into a cab. Natasha says it is 6:30pm, and they need to be on their flight in thirty minutes. Michelle & Claire are second into a cab and see the Richards about to enter a cab behind them.
– Richards are having one of the worst experiences I have seen.
HARDIN: We need to go now.
HERRERA (to taxi driver): Leave me alone.
HARDIN & HERRERA: Let’s go.
(TAXI DRIVER says something in Korean.)
Never trust a person wearing salmon.
If this guy was Victoria from TAR 6, the trunk would have scrunched her fingers by now. HERRERA: Leave me alone.
TAXI DRIVER: Too-too-too-too.
(HERRERA closes trunk.)
HARDIN: We have to go now sir.
HERRERA: Leave me alone. I’m in a hurry.
“No one -dares- to close Mr. Lee’s trunk!” But seriously. This situation does not make Richard Herrera look good so far. I would have a tough time telling a driver ‘leave me alone’. At the first sign of resistance, I would have scrambled to find another driver.
I understand the Richards are under a massive time crunch to make this Inchon flight, but this is definitely making for some uncomfortable television. The taxi driver does not understand English, and he is not being given any time at all to communicate with them. Not to mention two big and bald American dudes may be intimidating for a Korean taxi driver.
Herrera treated the passenger door like a basketball. He lightly guarded the taxi driver, and swooped in front of him when the driver was least expecting it. I guarantee you Richard Herrera does not do this in ninety-nine out of one hundred situations on the race. This is essentially a $100, 000 taxi drive to the airport.
Oh! That makes much more sense. They were fighting with a local who really wanted that taxi too. This is far better than fighting with their own driver. Hardin was impressed with how Herrera handled it, and how the man was trying to shove Herrera.
HERRERA: Can’t let guys who wear pink shirts get in our way if we want to win.
Salmon. He was wearing a salmon shirt. Huge difference.
– Hussein & Natasha are first to the airport. Michelle & Claire are right behind the Richards. Same order.
– Richards recap that Hussein & Natasha are on the direct flight to Singapore. The Richards decide not to go on standby for the flight, and change to a definite flight which will get them in four hours after Hussein & Natasha. Trust me, a four hour advantage is not a big head start for a team like Hussein & Natasha.
It is the equivalent of having the Gutsy Grannies begin on leg three while the other ten teams are at the starting line in Nevada. The Gutsy Grannies will be eliminated by round five regardless.
– Dominatrix beg and state they “need to go back to Singapore”. The agent informs them the whole flight is full. Michelle puts on her whiny voice. Nothing changes.
FIRST FLIGHT (4 HOURS AHEAD OF THE SECOND FLIGHT): HUSSEIN & NATASHA
That’s right. We are entering the final destination city, and Hussein & Natasha of all people have a four hour lead.
– Allan informs us that their flight does not get into Singapore until midnight. In other words, the first route marker will be an equalizer and render their lead meaningless.
MICHELLE: Please. We have been begging here for the past ten minutes.
I bet the ticketing agent mumbled “really? It feels like forty.”
CLAIRE: We told them “Singapore Airlines is our airlines. We want to go back to Singapore.”
Jess & Lani’s torch of #CryingNotHarassing is passed on to Dominatrix.
“Hey captain, we have this K-Pop teen punk group harassing us to let them on your plane. I think they are called Dominatrix. You know them?”
– SECOND FLIGHT: RICHARDS (4:00AM ARRIVAL) – Michelle & Claire keep switching check-in counters.
CLAIRE: They said to come to you! So you tell me it’s there and you say here? Do any of you speak English?!
It might be a hint if every check-in counter keeps redirecting you to a different one in the airport. Almost as if they do not like you or do not like your attitude for some reason.
CLAIRE (throws something to the ground off-screen): JUST GO OKAY?! ALL OF YOU GUYS ARE F–KING STUPID.
I never thought the stress of the final leg would lead to the Richards and Dominatrix creating enemies with every citizen of South Korea.
– Claire is close to giving up. Yikes. She says that producers will come to them in the airport and inform them the race is over before they get on a flight out. – Commercial. We resume.
MICHELLE: You can’t assume. In this game you can never assume. Don’t give up, okay?
– Michelle & Claire are -still- in Korea as Hussein & Natasha arrive in Singapore. They get into a taxi to Cavenagh Bridge. No equalizer yet as they find a lion dancer.
Of course. The inside of the lion’s mouth. I’m gonna eat your fingers, Hussein. Nom-nom-nom. **TAR 25 Duplication Alert!**
– They read they must head to the Red House Seafood Restaurant and extract one kilogram of chilli crab. It is a delicacy. Once they have done so, they will receive their next clue.
Thankfully the word ‘chilli’ is thrown in there or viewers would be raising their eyebrows. Oddly enough, this task would be repeated in TAR 25 as a Detour option.
Just swap in super fitness dentists and a ridiculous costume into the mix, and you have a remake.
– HUSSEIN: That’s a lot of crabs.
“You’re telling me!”
– Hussein & Natasha show up to the restaurant.
Heh. Burn. Just like a chili crab.
– Hussein & Natasha contemplate what to do for the night. Do you pick a hotel room or sleep outside? Natasha wants a hotel room. Hussein wants to sleep outside. Who will get their way?
Father knows best.
Also, I am jealous of Natasha’s leopard pyjama pants.
– Richards get into Singapore four hours later. They run to grab the clue from the lion, and re-enter their taxi.
– Michelle & Claire eventually book a flight. It will get into Singapore at 10:25am. I must note the Richards look exhausted. I am not sure if trying to sleep on a plane is much better than sleeping outside on the equator. Talk about luck being on their side. They are ten hours and twenty-five minutes behind Hussein & Natasha, but will only lose about seventy to eighty minutes once in Singapore.
– Richards show up to the restaurant. They say they have three and a half hours to wait before it opens. – Richards are happy to see Hussein & Natasha once the sun rises.
May I point out that Hussein looks like a homeless person when he is sleep deprived. . . . Yes, I am trying to get in all of my leftover Hussein jabs before the season is over.
– Hardin is happy to know that the gamble to take a later flight and rely upon an hours of operation occurring has paid off.
Bballin’ fist bump.
– Herrera is wondering where Michelle & Claire are at the moment. They point out a random plane in the air and assume it’s them.
– The task begins. Everybody puts on an apron except Hardin.
No, don’t EAT the crabs, Chuck!
You don’t want to crush those crabs with your bare hand, Hussein!
Otherwise your wife might nickname you “Too Hot to Handle” after an embarrassing incident.
– Hussein tries to use the tool as a crusher rather than inserting the crab in the centre of the tool. He decides to use the tool how it was meant to be used.
“In the States we don’t even get educated about crabs in the classroom! If only I went to school elsewhere!”
– HARDIN: Steaming hot crabs. Big crabs. Hard to get through. Very difficult challenge. My hands are still burnt up.
Richards are making these jokes as easy as her.
FUN FACT: Parvati Shallow is only mentioned in these TAR blogs whenever there is a crab related task. A joke that needs to be retired in the eyes of my veteran readers, but a fresh set of jokes for my new followers!
Wow. I was making a joke earlier, but somebody is eating the challenge. Hussein, how the heck do you expect to reach one kilogram if you are eating the very crabs that you need to crush? Are you hoping to gain its powers?
Maybe he is comparing it to the time he was Maverick Hunter and defeated Bubble Crab to gain the Bubble Splash abilities.
Next thing you know he’ll turn into one, and will eat everything he sees in sight.
It’s Hussein in the membrane!
– Dominatrix land in Singapore Changi Airport (that is why the Chingy reference was made in TAR 16). – Herrera says the crab task was not pretty.
HERRERA: They didn’t give us a lot of crabs to work with, so you needed to get everything out of each crab. Yes, this is truly a difficult task. I think harder than TAR 25 where I believe they were given more than enough crabs.
– Richards and Hussein & Natasha take turns weighing their bowl. Michelle & Claire find the clue with the lion dancers.
– Richards complete the crab task before Hussein & Natasha.
The grunting paid off.
– Richards read that they must travel by taxi to one of four Caltex stations. TAR Asia 1 had teams wash a car at a Caltex station as the lone task in Singapore for the season. I am glad producers kept this sponsoured tradition alive!
How many Caltex route markers and tasks total have we had in TAR Asia history? Let’s count.
TAR Asia 1: 2
TAR Asia 2: 2
TAR Asia 3: 4
TAR Asia 4: 2
Out of forty-eight rounds, Caltex had a route marker, a buoy, or an active task in ten of them. This is not including the times where we see teams stop at a Caltex to ask for directions or have the Caltex logo in their provided car.
– Each of these four Caltexes has one vintage car parked in the parking lot. If the vintage car is no longer there, they must travel to one of the other three service stations. This is a classic task format of the “rich(ards) getting richer and the poorer getting poorer”.
What do I mean by this? Every once in a while TAR has a task where being at the route marker/Roadblock/Detour first increases your probability of doing the task the fastest. Teams who arrive later have a lower probability of succeeding, and will most likely take longer.
e.g. First three teams to show up to the easier side of the Detour can do that task, while later teams will be rejected upon arrival and must switch Detour options.
e.g. There are ten clues hidden amongst 17, 000 haybales. The team who shows up second may have only one of nine clues to find amongst 16, 500 haybales.
I never thought the final round of TAR Asia would be partially inspired by The Godfather films. Look at that car! It’s straight out of the flippin 30s.
– It would suck to show up to an empty parking lot where the Richards took a car, and have no indication that it is gone. A vintage car is a relatively vague description. What makes a car vintage? Eh, whatever.
Phew. At least they give teams a ‘Taken’ board so they are not aimlessly running around the gas station. Along with the board is a picture of some random American guy. I have no idea who that is.
– Hussein & Natasha are approved. Hardin says he has to use speed right now. It may be illegal, but hey, anything to make yourself more efficient and faster.
– Richards walk by a vacant taxi. Hussein thinks the Richards have it, but Natasha insists it is still empty. She repeatedly states that the Richards are still on the road looking for a cab.
NATASHA: Dad, they’re not even in a taxi yet!
HUSSEIN: You sure the Richards didn’t get–
HUSSEIN: Where are they?
NATASHA: They’re there.
HUSSEIN: Yeah, okay okay.
NATASHA: Dad. Next time listen to me. Spoiler alert: Next time Hussein does not listen to her.
Welcome to every parent-child relationship!
– Richards hire a cab. Hardin explains they walked right by a taxi in the corner that Hussein & Natasha picked up.
HARDIN: But that’s okay because we’ve got the fastest driver, right?
Heh. Hardin simultaneously playing up for the camera and the driver. Efficient.
Herrera blows on his sunglasses out of nervousness.
And because it is the final Detour, this is Allan’s final opportunity to show off his Wuscles! **TAR 25 Duplication Alert!**
The cast of The Mole 2 will be hesitant to choose “Stay Up” once more.
– In Stay Up, teams must ride the waves for a cumulative time of two minutes at the Sentosa Wave House.
NOTE: Yes, it is the same freakin’ wave house where Allan Wu did his ALS Ice Bucket Challenge AND where TAR 25’s infamous Fast Forward took place which sent Kym & Alli home. In fact, two minutes was the exact same length required to win the Fast Forward too.
Yes, two minutes is indeed a long time.
This man has a Detour of his own regarding his chest. Wax or Shave?
Maybe TAR Asia is ending because Allan is running out of his trademark pwuns.
– In Add Up, teams must head to the Gmax Reverse Bungee at Sentosa. Once flung in the air, teams will have ten seconds to add up a series of numbers that will be called out to them in the air by the host. Once correct, they will receive their next clue. Now -this- is a creative task.
“One thousand two hundred twelve! Three hundred seventy-seven! The square root of forty-four! Eleven factorial!”
ALLAN: Teams that can add it up while free falling in reverse will propel themselves to the top of the Final Three.
Look at how quickly and how high this thing launches! I would -love- to put my neighbour’s cat in this contraption. Think you can just defecate in my front yard, Snowflake? Into the Gmax you go!
– I must point out that it is not known how teams yell back the answer when they are hundreds of feet in the air for the host to hear, nor is it clear if teams are allowed multiple guesses and an infinite amount of time.
– Richards show up to Hussein & Natasha’s Caltex. Singaporean Les informs Hardin that they are too late. Back into the taxi the Richards go. That’s right. We are two tasks away from declaring Hussein & Natasha the winners of the final season of The Amazing Race Asia.
– Dominatrix are at the crab task. Claire drops a F-bomb when she sees the two used stations. She knows the other two teams have come and gone.
CLAIRE: That sauce has been there for a long time.
MICHELLE: If we saw the hours of operation it would have given us so much more motivation but we didn’t.
Excellent. They believe they are over ten hours behind. Excellent.
And love lamp.
– Michelle stars screaming “YUCK YUCK YUCK” when she splits open a crab. F-bombs. She starts moaning and crying like it is a wichetty grub all over again.
You ain’t got no alibi You Yuck-eh!
You know this TAR blog has been around for a long time if we are resorting to Daphne & Celeste references. Daphne and Celeste for TAR 27!
– Richards have their clue. Herrera chooses Add Up.
Wow, it is a bit crammed. I think tuk-tuks have more space than a vintage car. Wait, teams do not drive themselves? There is a pre-arranged driver?
I guess the car was too valuable. I call schenanigans if the drivers do not have a pre-determined path to each route marker.
Correction regarding the surfing option. Teams just need to have a -total- of staying afloat for two minutes. This is different from TAR 25 which instructed both team members to balance for two minutes -each-.
– Natasha thinks the surfing house is new. They are welcomed to the flow house by some guy named Jeff.
“Hi Jeff!” The look of terror on their faces is hilarious. Hussein is nervously clenching his own arm.
Natasha is at Jeff’s mercy.
Time will never start because Natasha is too terrified to let go of the rope. What happens when she finally does?
Natasha washes up on shore two minutes later. Oh god, please tell me Hussein will have a go at this.
Oh my god. . .he’s gone.
I take everything back that I said about him. This is tragic.
– Hussein is shown standing as Natasha falls once more.
– Richards are at bungee. Hardin does not like heights, but he is here to face them.
HARDIN: No matter what it could not have been worse than New Zealand.
But you said you conquered your fears. . .?
– We are re-shown the full clip of Richard Hardin jumping for the fourth time this season. Once in the New Zealand episode, a second time in the ‘Previously On’ segment, a third time in the Race Wumories special, and now here for a fourth and final time. Yes, they even replayed him grunting.
– The host (who looks a lot like Marc from TAR Asia 2) explains to them how this will go down. Right before launch he will give them three numbers. They will be launched into the air and spinning upside-down, they must give the correct answer. Then they will receive their next clue.
I am surprised he resisted the temptation to yell out “Base!”
That looks like two of the least comfortable seats in the world.
THE NUMBERS: 154 + 26 + 68
Dangit. The numbers could have been meaner. They are all even. It is 248. But these guys are ballers, and who knows if they paid attention to basic mathematics in school.
– They reach 180. . .
– . . .before the host announces time is up. For some reason we are not told about the time limit.
The sun appears to be brutal.
Hardin is preparing to throw up all over again.
“I can’t stop to think about three numbers. . .it’s too dangerous!”
I am surprised he didn’t, to be honest. Especially when he is suffering from lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of hygiene being with Herrera, and a not-so-lack of chili crab juice.
Too bad, you have to humiliate yourself some more!
They are better off going back to the ski hills in New Zealand.
– Richards are on their second attempt.
The numbers are smaller, but at least they have two odd numbers this time. 27 + 86 + 9 = 122.
– The Richards nail it. Hardin was prepared to lose his guts. Herrera vows to never do a task like that again.
– They read that they must travel to St. James Power Station where they have two minutes to successfully unlock their handcuffs while performing an escape illusion taught by J C Sum and Magic Babe Ning.
Now you see her.
Now you don’t.
Oh my god. How did she do that?!
**TAR 24 DUPLICATION ALERT!**
Yes, this is yet another task that TAR 24 directly copied from TAR Asia 4. You thought David Copperfield was the first magician to be featured on TAR? Try J C Sum (which is so close to being a sexualized name) and Magic Babe Ning.
“F–k you and your plastic surgery, Copperfield!”
Ever wanted to see a clip from one of his acts?
There’s no way that guy is taller than 5’2″.
All we need is Gob in TAR Canada 3, and we’ll have the perfect trio of TAR illusionists! – Herrera comments that Hardin was dizzy in the Gmax. Hardin confirms he is still dizzy as they sit inside of the cab. We see Hardin shake his head back and forth for about fifteen seconds.
And here I thought Richard Herrera would thrive at this because he is a G to the Max. This was the perfect location for him. Absolutely none of the finalists are keeping composure this round. I have never seen a less composed Final Three.
– We watch Hussein & Natasha keep falling. Commercial. We resume.
Even if you do a 180, it counts as long as you remain balanced on the board.
The time is very slowly adding up. Hussein even balances for a few seconds. He tells Natasha that they are at a minute total.
Use a towel. So rude!
MICHELLE: That was a crabby experience.
– Dominatrix head to a Caltex station. Yeah, a vintage car has been taken.
– Hussein & Natasha complete the task. It makes you realize how ridiculous Kym & Alli were for thinking they could both balance for two minutes together without slipping once. – The Richards are at St. James Power Station.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0OJUcxdL24 As opposed to the St. James Soul Power Station.
– Richards show up as they stand in the aisle while J C Sum and Magic Babe Ning perform.
MB NING: It’s very important that you watch every step we perform.
J C Sum proceeds to handcuff his lady.
Wow. This got kin–, uh, er, I mean, “interesting” real quick. What’s next? He whips her as the Richards have no choice but to watch?
Hardin fears for her safety.
“We saw her emerge once. There’s no way she can escape mortal peril from J C Sum TWICE! Maybe chili crabs will jump out as the reveal this time.”
Ning ning ning! We have a winner! She’s okay!
Forcing the Richards to run the rest of the round in handcuffs would be a neat challenge, though. I feel like this task is missing some music.
A magic task AND it is the final episode in TAR Asia history? This could not be more fitting.
In this case, it would be The Fwunal Countdown by Wurope.
Herrera shows off his prized weapon. ‘Tis time to bind your partner. The Great Hardiscape shall soon be underway!
That box is not designed for a 6’4″ basketball player. It is designed for freakin’ 5’3″ Magic Babe Ning. This could be tougher than expected.
Although given the Richards’ earlier reference of the rhythm method, it may not be the first time that Hardin has had to squeeze into a tight box.
Herrera slams Hardin’s head into the box.
HERRERA: I think we were more concerned with looking good than pulling it off, and it showed. We were terrible.
– Herrera attempts to tip the box. Hardin yells he is stuck. He climbs out and claims he is too big for the box.
– Michelle & Claire enter a vintage car. Remember how the Richards were crammed into the vintage car?
Yeah, the “Tiny Singaporeans” as coined by Allan do not have the same problem. They have plenty of leg room.
– Dominatrix are at the Wave House. Want to see them fall to complete the collection?
CLAIRE: Once I saw the rapids I knew we were screwed. So screwed.
Claire lasts a total of one second.
Now that’s how you tear an achilles.
– MICHELLE: We got face splat and poke in the water.
– Richards are on their second attempt as Herrera tries it. Fails. Hussein & Natasha are present. J C Sum kick the the Richards to the sidelines as Hussein & Natasha are make their first attempt.
– Hussein puts Natasha in the box. He tries to act, but is all fidgety and laughs at himself over his poor showman skills.
NATASHA: He’s usually a good one. Especially on the stage in a performance. He loves to show off.
I wish Hussein was the one trapped inside the box, and someone threw away the key.
– Natasha screws up. It’s a fail.
– Hardin thinks seeing Hussein & Natasha motivated he and Herrera to step up their game.
“I shall send this series to the depths of Hell! To the resting place of Jodi Wincheski you go!”
Magic Babe Ning protects Richards from the fiery depths of TAR Hell.
– Richards read it is an Insta-Roadblock.
*TAR 25 DUPLICATION ALERT!**
– Teams must travel to Marina Bay Sands Hotel. One person must perform the postman’s walk. This tightrope walk is fifty-five stories above the ground. Starting from Tower 1, teams must retrieve their clue from Tower 2 before returning to Tower 1.
Yes, this is the Roadblock task where Jim Raman was too heavy for the equipment, and he nearly fell down all fifty-five stories. I wonder if The Save would have resurrected him once he collapsed onto the ground? . . . . Wait. We didn’t see Allan. There was no pun. He is not even shown on screen. HOW CAN YOU FINISH THE TAR ASIA SERIES WITHOUT A FINAL PUN FROM ALLAN WU! DAMMIT!
“Thumbs up for creating finale suspense,” says Magic Babe Ning.
NATASHA: “Who’s prepared to go out on a limb”? You want to do it?
HUSSEIN: On a limb? Okay. I’ll do it.
Oh god. Natasha realizes what she has done. The entire outcome of the race is dependent upon her father’s success at a task.
HUSSEIN: When we open it up it says 55 stories and I hate heights.
NATASHA: I don’t think they’ll make you go on a one length rope, Dad. It’s too windy up there.
The reaction of someone whose race is weighing on the words of “we’ll see”. Scarier than a tightrope could be.
– Herrera tells Hardin to not look down even though Herrera will be the one doing the Roadblock.
Michelle is showing off to the extreme that her board is half-grinding on the edge of the rapids. Who does she think she is?
Claire rebels against physics.
I bet Kym & Alli would feel much better if they watched Hussein, Natasha, and Claire all repeatedly wipe out way worse than they did during TAR 25.
– (Mostly) Michelle & Claire finish the surfing task and receive their clue. Claire sums up her skills appropriately.
– Richards see the flag inside of the hotel and ride to the top.
HARDIN: He is an X-Game Man; a daredevil.
As long as that daredevil is not Ben Affleck, he should be okay.
– Herrera begins the traverse.
He weighs about sixty pounds less than Jim. Not to worry, Hardin.
– HERRERA: The rope was really flimsy.
Yeah. We learned.
– Hardin is terrified just watching but refuses to voice his fright.
HARDIN: You halfway there! Ain’t no thang! Good cover.
– HERRERA: It was ungodly high.
C’mon, it’s not -that- high.
Okay. Maybe it is.
Oh, please Hussein. That is all an act. We know you are going to pretend that you will be too scared to do it, but then you will venture out and crush this task.
– Hardin sees Hussein & Natasha suit up. Herrera is not yet halfway. Now he is. Herrera begins making his way back. Hussein is scared.
HARDIN: Use that core, boy! He would make for a great fitness trainer.
A plane is flying UNDERNEATH the hotel.
– Claire spins the box and checks for Michelle.
“Magic is supposed to be FUN!”
MICHELLE: F–king hot! Can you take me out? F–KING TAKE IT OUT!
– Michelle describes it was painful and it could not come off. She claims she was close to losing it, but just wants to get ‘er done.
It’s a trick handcuff, Michelle. You are trapped inside of the Power Station. . .forever!
– Commercial. We resume.
– Hardin coaches Herrera (“let’s go boy! Breathe! Let’s go boy!”). Herrera makes it back.
Hardin reads they must travel by marked elevator to Sky Park Marina Sands Swimming Pool where they will be tested on their memory of the race.
Once they have correctly answered seven multiple choice questions by using coloured rings, they will receive their next clue.
Now for the obvious question: Are they confirmed if they are right or wrong after each individual question or is there no confirmation until they answer all seven? And are they told which ones are right and wrong in that scenario?
I must say that a memory challenge taking place on a 600-storey high outdoor swimming pool may be the coolest location of a final task in TAR history. And no, the ‘coolest location’ was not meant to be a replacement pwun on Wu’s behalf. I am above water-based pwuns.
– Hussein tells the instructor that he is afraid of the heights and cannot do it. The instructor convinces Hussein to take a look. Of course, this look is downward which is the absolute last place you want to look.
Hardin’s impression of Hussein.
“Can I switch with my daughter?”
– Hussein & Natasha stand awkwardly. I am sure all it takes is a little bit of encouragement, and the editing that is being presented will no longer trick us, right?
Every freakin’ season whenever there is a heights task they always do the whole “this person will refuse to do this task, but after a commercial break they will do it anyway because we needed to create suspense for you!”
NATASHA: You always taught me–
HUSSEIN: No, not this one.
He would rather poke his own eye out. Wow, Natasha’s speech taken straight out of a classic film is shut down instantly.
HUSSEIN: I told you I cannot do this.
INSTRUCTOR: Do you want to have (another) look?
HUSSEIN: No, I can’t do this.
The plea in Natasha’s eyes.
– Commercial. We resume.
Okay, the jig will be up and we can go back to making this a contest again–
HUSSEIN: I’m taking the penalty.
No way. He is going to do it. This will be one of the craziest comebacks in TAR history. A team which started off extremely weak will come back and win this race.
INSTRUCTOR: Talk to your dad what you’d like to do.
– Hussein admits he was not focused. Natasha agrees. He was also discouraged that the Richards are ahead.
They may need some counseling.
– Want to re-consider this decision, Hussein?
Such a casual way of stating it.
Who knows, four hours later and Richards may still be on the rooftop if they suffer from amnesia.
– We head back to Michelle & Claire trying to complete the Roadblock. Michelle has freed herself and they receive the clue. Michelle will do this task too. If only Natasha did the same thing.
Singaporean Tears. Hussein is finished, but not in the way you think he is.
They might disagree on all three accounts.
CLAIRE: I’m proud of what I’ve done. It’s tough because we’re doing the darndest we can to stay in the race. There’s nothing we can do no matter how fast we run because everyone else had a ten hour head start on us.
Please no one inform Dominatrix that they are close to catching up. This rounds needs more crying as if there was not enough to go around already.
– Hussein is back on the tower. Has anything changed?
What coconut rope?
You mean this?
NATASHA: This is different. This is nothing like last time, Dad!
INSTRUCTOR: Different. This is very different.
HOW THE HELL DOES THE INSTRUCTOR KNOW? WAS HE IN SRI LANKA DOING ROPE SAFETY TOO?!
NATASHA: Dad. Please. HUSSEIN: I cannot, okay? I–I–I–I–If I try we lose anyway. Why should I–
NATASHA: Why? Why?
Look at the crowd which assembled to watch this meltdown.
HUSSEIN: Because they are so fast!
HUSSEIN: It’s not worth it to go and chase em up.
Holy Batman. Natasha is directly challenging her father’s desire to quit.
HUSSEIN: What dignity? I don’t want to fall.
“YOU’RE NOT GONNA DIE!”
Sorry. I really wanted to make a Cliffhanger reference ever since I mentioned Jim’s TAR 25 performance on the tightrope.
HUSSEIN: I know. Of course I would not fall. It’s not worth it.
Hussein debunked his own argument in seconds. Holy crap.
I do not believe Natasha is overreacting. Your partner quitting with the finish line literally upstairs must be a recipe for the most frustrating possible situation to be thrown into on TAR.
Now you know how Zach feels. Imagine if Flo had to do this before the finish line? Teri & Ian win no problem.
“Why do you want to blow our chances of ensuring we lose The Amazing Race!”
NATASHA: Oh my god. Everything.
HUSSEIN: But I mean if we’re number one we’re going to fight for it but–
NATASHA: That’s the wrong ????, Dad. I want to finish this the right way. I just don’t want to give up, okay?
This might be the most uncomfortable scene I have seen on The Amazing Race in a long time. It is not uncomfortable in a comedic way like Wil and Alex drunk and yelling at Russell in TAR 2.
Heck, this is even less funny than Margie’s “LAUGHING at them!” statement in TAR 14. Why, there was comedic context for Jonathan shoving Victoria in a dark way.
But this might take the cake. Natasha is helpless as they were likely only ten minutes behind the Richards at the most, and Hussein is throwing in the towel after 10 3/4 legs out of 11.
They are 98% through all of the tasks and the finish line is a hundred feet above their heads. I am even screaming at my screen for Hussein to do this task, and I can assure you that I -rarely- get emotionally invested into a competitive reality TV scene.
NATASHA: That’s like giving up on life! C’mon Dad, please!
Natasha would pay a hypnotist to hypnotize her father into doing this. Maybe J C Sum has created the ultimate illusion and the rope course is in reality just ten feet above the ground.
NATASHA: God, it’s just–it’s just–
– Cut to a confessional of Natasha explaining that it was what her father thought of her shattered.
Just think that this is their first set of confessionals after the race was over. It has to be super duper awkward.
– Natasha makes one last attempt that any child does while in a grocery store when they do not get the chocolate bar they want
NATASHA: Please don’t make me cry.
And to buy a Culture Club CD, evidently.
– Commercial. We resume.
– Richards are at the swimming pool. If Hussein & Natasha have indeed quit, this might be the biggest lead in TAR history at a final task.
Wow. That’s a tough question. You have to remember the precise spelling from a round that happened six rounds ago. I love it. MY GUESS: Cagsawa Herrera is sure it is pink (Cagsawa) too.
They place it on the clue box. It is shown as being correct on screen.
– Okay. NOW the jig is up. The instructor promises to coach Hussein through it.
I think Dick and Danielle from Big Brother 8 will have a closer relationship than Hussein & Natasha if Hussein quits this task. That might be Hussein’s only true motivation for doing this Roadblock.
– I should note the instructor has an Australian accent.
He looks as if he is preparing to cry.
INSTRUCTOR: Right now–
NATASHA: Dad, please!
INSTRUCTOR: Let us try this!
“Please don’t make this a foregone conclusion!”
HUSSEIN: No, Natasha! Please, I don’t want to do it.
NATASHA: Dad, please.
Hussein may be quitting this task for the twentieth time, but this time it is from the helmet cam!
Not even Rex and Bob quit as much as Hussein.
NATASHA: Just try. Don’t look down. Look at the view, Dad!
The soundtrack slows. REM comes out.
– This discussion is still not over.
NATASHA: Dad, please–
HUSSEIN: It’s okay. I’ll BE A BIG CRYBABY BUT I WON’T DO IT!
lol. Okay. I can say there is some comedy in there.
NATASHA: I just hope you don’t regret it after all this.
HUSSEIN: I won’t regret it.
NATASHA: Yes you will.
HUSSEIN: No I won’t regret it. No I won’t regret it.
NATASHA: No one’s gonna watch. I’m pretty sure you can do it Dad it’s just that you’re not willing to try.
HUSSEIN: I don’t want to try, okay?
I am so over this scene. How much longer is it going to take?
HUSSEIN: That’s it. I can’t.
Well. . .you beat Flo’s record. I doubt she would have matched that first foot, let alone two.
This conversation is one of the most monotonous and repetitive things I have sat through in TAR history.
NATASHA: After all that we’ve been through–
HUSSEIN: I know. I can’t do it, okay?
I cannot believe it. A team takes an official four hour penalty at the very last location on the final Roadblock of a season.
“Hussein is not as tough as you think, ladies.”
– Michelle & Claire show up to the hotel. They are stunned. Claire figures it out because she saw Hussein fall during the Sri Lanka Detour.
CLAIRE: I’m so glad you’re doing this right now. I suck at this s–t!
“Just like how you suck at wichetty grubs, balancing on surfboards, and unlocking handcuffs too, yes?”
– I know it is Claire’s way of encouraging her.
CLAIRE: If I had to do this like the canopy walk, I would take until tomorrow.
Ah. That’s true. Michelle was the fastest during the coconut tree Detour in Sri Lanka. Dominatrix have a shot at this.
MICHELLE: I told myself I -better- get this thing done before they finish their time penalty.
Yeah, I don’t think that is too much of a concern.
– Natasha cheers on Michelle in the saddest voice possible. Michelle feels she is in a different place altogether when she does the Roadblock. Claire freaks out about it being a long way down.
Who knew I would have to wait twenty minutes before seeing someone happy on The Amazing Race.
This. This is what Natasha meant.
“What view?” says Hussein.
Geez. I would pay two hundred bucks for an experience like that.
– Claire excitedly cheers on Michelle as she makes it halfway.
What’s the point of coming back to it? Are you going to magically remember if it was Perang Topat instead of Kerang Topak? I personally think it is B.
Or D: Phillip Sheppard versus Steve Wright.
Too easy of a question. B.
– Richards figure it out and pick the orange buoy. They keep going.
– Hussein & Natasha watch as Michelle starts getting tired on the ropes. Claire was scared of saying anything when the wind blew because she was afraid Michelle would fall.
She’s not that light, Claire. It is not like she is Kate Moss and would fall through a crack in the floor.
Claire mimes Michelle’s fall to her death.
– Michelle makes it back. Now she starts freaking out over what she has done.
Michelle makes her Michelle Face.
– Dominatrix read to go to the elevator and shake Hussein’s hands on the way out.
Yes, Natasha is crying. We cut back to the Richards.
Ah yes. The start of when teams needed to pay attention to locals at the pit stop. My guess is C.
Much tougher than remembering the order of elimination.
I can recall the order of elimination for TAR Asia 1-4, TAR 1-16, TAR 18-25, and TAR Canada 1-2. Why did TAR 16 have such a lame memory challenge?
But hey, whatever it takes to manipulate the edit and make it seem like a difference of seconds rather than hours.
– Michelle reveals she has been jotting down every single thing they went through on this season.
Yes, they are allowed to use notes.
Rebels don’t take notes! – It’s B. Galle. Dominatrix have it. So do the Richards when Herrera guesses.
They let Michelle & Claire read the peanuts question. If anyone recalls that incident, it would be them. I believe it was A. 20. Nah, 40. Claire knew the answer.
Well, it has to be C. Remember my awful kangaroo jokes? Kangaroo Point is the pit stop. Herrera and Claire both get it.
Cromwell Peak? Is there a British historian or a fan of actor James Cromwell on the production team? Coronet Peak. B.
I believe everyone has muscle memory of the skiing incident. The only two questions a team should struggle without notes for in this task is the two name swapping questions referring to obscure route markers.
Perhaps you need a second guess on the peanuts question. The other four should be easy to remember if you experienced it all in three weeks.
– Richards return to the rice war question. They choose Kerang Topak. The lifeguard says they are wrong.
HERRERA: Switch the first one.
– Commercial. We resume. . .for the last time.
Does he even lift, bro? I would say this lifeguard does.
NOTE: There is no way Michelle & Claire are doing this task at the same time. This is all editing room magic.
– Richards read to travel on foot to Sky Park Observation Deck. The first team to check in will win one hundred thousand dollars.
– Allan confirms this is the eleventh and final pit stop. First team to check in will win the game.
I see why he is not making puns today. He is wearing his fancy suit. It is all bwusiness for Allan today.
He needs to close this series in style.
HARDIN: When we got out of that pool and saw that I don’t even–a surge of energy came through me. I could have jumped off this building, landed on the ground, and ran to another pit stop. I was so pumped.
He is dead f–king serious.
– The toughest part about this task for Michelle? It ain’t the memory.
She’ll be the first person to drown during a memory task! Teams didn’t even drown during the final task of TAR 22. Heck, the Richards -walked- in the swimming pool for this task. Is Michelle really that short?
– Dominatrix get it right on their first try.
There is no way producers made them wait out the four hour penalty. I bet they waited about an hour before directing them to do the final memory task for fun. You know, so Natasha could feel like she finished the race.
Richards, Michelle, and Claire will all need to fall off a side rail and be killed upon impact if Hussein & Natasha are going to win this season. This will easily be the most awkward task to watch Hussein & Natasha complete.
– We cut to the finish mat, thank god.
Allan stands alone at the finish line. Was production too cheap to fly in the eliminated teams from Elimination Station?
Nevermind. They are showing the eliminated teams being brought to the finish line. This has never happened before or since. Because we watched Hussein tell us he was quitting for ten minutes of airtime, I am inclined to believe that producers were scratching their heads as to what footage could be added to fill the forty-three minute episode.
Alan & Wendy still not on best of terms.
– Richards are close to the finish line. However, there is one last obstacle.
If Richards get passed by Michelle & Claire because Hardin had to tie his shoes, I am officially calling this the weirdest season finale ever.
– Hardin not only ties up his shoes, but ties up first place as he and Herrera run onto the mat.
Sunaina got her way.
Geez, these two guys are a lot alike. Both close their eyes and have hands on hips. They prepare to soak in the news that Allan will give them. This is their wish.
Your wush is my command, Richards!
ALLAN: After traveling fifteen cities, flying to eight countries, racing over 38, 000 kilometres. . .
Just give it to them.
Richards win, but yet Ethan manages to grab our attention despite being barely in the frame.
– Allan awards them the cash prize too. Richards high five everyone present. Lani will tragically miss out on these high fives.
You know these guys have played sports their whole lives when they elect to high five all of their opponents like it is the conclusion of a little league baseball game. All they needed to do was say “good game, good game, good game” to everyone as they high five.
Yes, high five the coaches too.
Oddly enough, the one person who receives a hug instead of a high five happens to be the one team who the Richards picked to be in a foursome during the Perfect Match challenge.
– HERRERA: They were all so competitive and so fast. We were looking over our shoulder the entire race.
Yes, Manas & Sahil. You too.
– Hardin starts wildly pointing at everybody when Herrera mentions the ‘over the shoulder’ part.
This is just odd.
– Herrera credits luck for getting him here to the end as well. I wish viewers and fans overall understand that the winners of each season always deserve their win, but excessive good luck should never rob a winner of being called deserving.
And no. Luck was not the factor in their situation. There’s a difference between luck and indirect tilting of the table. HERRERA: We are proud to have represented the Philippines, and have something we can talk about for the rest of our lives. Tell our kids about.
Kids with their current respective partners, I should clarify.
Good game, fellas!
– Dominatrix enter the mat. It is noticeably later.
Because Hardin had enough time to change and put on one of his douchy hats. Remember when I called Hardin “BBallchard” and Herrera “Toquechard”? I have come a long way.
SECOND PLACE: MICHELLE & CLAIRE
– Allan congratulates them. Michelle is ready to cry.
Michelle is crying here too. Allan has a plan for resolving the tears of Michelle on the mat.
Alright, alright. . .that’s enough.
Meanwhile, on Depression Island. . .
– Hussein & Natasha have their clue, and begin running to the mat. Hussein yells for Natasha to slow down.
Natasha’s Revenge. She leaves him behind.
Neat shot of all nine happy teams minus Lani.
Hardin would make for a good co-host. Allan informs Hussein & Natasha that they are the third and final team to complete the race.
Prepare for more hugs. ALLAN: Are you proud of yourself?
For what? Quitting the final task minutes before the finish line when the victory was in sight? What’s Hussein’s response?
Well, uh, that answers that question.
– Racers in the background are saying “oh, c’mon” to not make Hussein feel bad. Natasha interjects that she enjoyed racing with her father. Hussein interrupts her as he addresses the other racers.
Where did this comedic sign of Hussein come from? Why couldn’t he have been this fun during the race while I was forced to talk about him for eleven rounds?!
Hussein is the life of the party. . .apparently.
– Natasha cries in a confessional about their ups and downs. She could not ask for a better man to be her dad.
HARDIN: I’m still in shock right now. I don’t even know what to do right now. I am so happy. Such an awesome experience. So great and amazing.
***END OF SERIES***
That’s right. The final word of the TAR Asia series is the word ‘amazing’.
O no editors di’int.
Wu put him up to it. I know he did.
In other news, Hussein’s final word was one sentence away from being ‘no’ which would have been fitting. But seriously, congratulations to the Richards for winning the final season in TAR Asia history. The PBA approved of this victory by creating their own banner in partnership with TAR Asia.
The Team Averages, Rank the Teams, Rank the Legs, and Rank the Seasons are all in part two.