“Hey Racers, Just One More Thing. . .”
MALAYSIA – SRI LANKA – PHILIPPINES – NEW ZEALAND – AUSTRALIA – INDONESIA – SOUTH KOREA – SINGAPORE
Previously on TARAsia: Ten teams set off from Penang, Malaysia. Ethan & Khairie were the first to arrive at Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia, but paranoia set in.
After teams played hardball at the airport, Ivan & Hilda were left behind at the airport.
At the snake ceremony, Yani fell apart. A difficult water task saw five teams face a four hour time penalty.
Yes, a task that involved one life and no continues as if it were a task inspired by Dick Tracy for NES.
After making waves at the Roadblock, Ivan & Hilda raced the Richards to the pit stop for first place.
And Yani & Nadine come in last.
Nine teams remain; who will be eliminated next on The Amazing Race Asia?
EDITOR’S NOTE: I guess Hussein & Natasha escaping dead last by a couple minutes in back-to-back rounds was not a big enough story.
TEAMS MENTIONED IN THE PREVIOUSLY ON SEGMENT TALLY
SUNAINA & DIMPLE: 1
– Allan introuces us to Kampung Tanjung Aru in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. Say that ten times fast.
– Yeah, Allan insists upon this being a race around the world.
I was recently informed that the word ‘around’ could really just be going into or many places throughout.
But how many people travel to Eastern Asia, Australia, and New Zealand to say “oh yeah, I raced around the world”.
Everyone is bound to quiz you on countries in Europe, Africa, and the Americas. They are bound to be disappointed that all you did was hang out in Sri Lanka and Malaysia for half of your trip.
– Ivan & Hilda, who were the first to arrive at 5:00pm, will depart at 5:00am.
Yes! Two rounds in a row where teams rest for twelve hours. Not even TAR 12 did more than two or three legs in a row of sticking to the twelve hour schedule.
– Ivan reads the clue. Guess where they have to go?
What? You mean you can’t read that? It very clearly says
AXIATA TELECOMMS CONTROL CENTRE
KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA
What were they thinking?! I have never seen a route info subtitled on screen where they try to cram every bit of information possible. Usually in TAR if there is a temple with a long name they will just say “TEMPLE” or “GARDEN BRIDGE”.
This would have been easier where the font used for TAR 1-13 was bigger, but now that Asia 4 is copying the style used for TAR 14-22, the size shrinks because more and more viewers have big televisions.
I say screw that because I doubt anybody with a regularly sized TV set could read that.
It would be like trying to type the name Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón on a grave. I feel bad for the Mexican guy who had to do that back in the 1800s.
And why are they doing ANOTHER route marker in Malaysia? Furthermore, why are they going back to the FREAKIN’ starting line?! This is like Peter Griffin organizing a scavenger hunt.
This is almost as bad as TAR 14 where they spent three consecutive rounds in China. Thankfully we will be going to a new country by the end of this round.
But no, the network wants to be greedy and do another task involving commercial integration.
– Once at the centre teams must scan a series of images on nine international monitoring stations until they find one that shows a golden Buddha.
And no, not the one that gets its face touched in the TAR 25 intro.
– Using this image they must identify their next destination to receive their clue. If they are wrong, they receive a four hour time penalty.
You’re out, Seattle Space Needle.
I don’t know how this screen is supposed to reveal their next destination.
The only non-mactors in TAR Asia 4.
– Oh yeah. It’s not a four hour time penalty. It is just a two minute time penalty if they get it wrong.
But would it surprise you if it was a four hour penalty after what happened last round? Why would screwing up at this task produce only a tiny delay in time while messing up at a puzzle force you to be screwed over to the point you will be behind in the next leg?
This format is making zero sense to me!
– We hear dogs bark as Hilda (shocker) runs! Richards depart second at 5:03am.
Do you remember in TAR Asia 1 how departure times made zero sense when teams would show up to the airport and book a flight that would fly out before the time they were shown departing?
Well, we have another case of editors not caring any less about accuracy because the Richards are leaving three minutes after Ivan & Hilda. You know, because getting to the mat being inches away from first was a three minute gap.
Maybe they meant Richards checked out at 05:00:03am rather than 05:03:00am. That would make much more sense.
See? I’m not making this up.
Come to think of it, who came up with the rule that teams who arrive seconds apart or simultaneously must reset and depart exactly one minute after the other anyway?
I know the tiebreaker rule came into effect because of three teams claiming a 7-day cruise at the start of TAR 4 (we saw peeks of it in TAR 11 and Asia 3), but why was the solution “regardless of the number of seconds you arrive after the other team, you must wait a full minute to start the next leg”.
Anytime in recent seasons where we cut to a few teams on the mat suddenly being shown as 3rd, 4th, and 5th respectively, I have always assumed that they did a tiebreaker off-screen and left it out of the episode intentionally to avoid confusing the increasingly dumb television audience.
TAR Asia’s departure times are as glitchy as a game of Superman 64.
– Okay. Back on track. Richards know the airport will be closed, but hail a taxi and head there anyway. They want to put themselves in a good position. Ivan & Hilda are slow to hail a taxi as they are behind the Richards. Hilda does the strangest cackle laugh in the cab. I did not understand the last few words she said before the cackle.
Maybe that cackle is her dragon call. Beware, Richards!
– Sunaina & Dimple depart in third at 5:15am. Sahil advises Manas to be careful opening at the clue at 5:20am.
– Sunaina decides to make a tradition of something you would never expect to be a ritual for a team on The Amazing Race.
SUNAINA: Sleep deprived? Yes. Tired? No. Hungry? No. Happy? Yes.
It would be funnier if Sunaina progressively adds more and more to the list at the start of each leg as the race goes on.
“Sleep deprived? Yes. Tired? No. Hungry? No. Energetic? Yes. Horny? A little. Indifferent? No. Thinking of Zac Efron? Yes. Fan of Twilight? No. Happy? Yes. Annoyed? Sorry.”
– Manas & Sahil discover the airport counter opens at 6:05am. Or maybe that is the next flight.
– Richard Herrera says “Su”(naina) & Dimple are always trying to think ahead, and need to have an eye kept on them.
Much like how Sunaina & Dimple keep an eye on Dominatrix.
And I have to refer to Toquechard as Richard Herrera because he is no longer wearing a toque, but Bballchard is! Do these guys have any consideration for the audience?!
Why is a shot of them surfing the Internet supposed to reinforce they are a strong team? They could be checking Facebook or Reality Fan Forum for all you know.
This free Wifi moment was brought to you by Mcdonald’s. Buh duh buh buh bai I’m surfin’ it.
Malaysia and Singapore certainly love McDonald’s in their airports.
– Ethan & Khairie depart fifth at 5:56am. Khairie knows exactly where the route marker in Kuala Lumpur is. What a ridiculous advantage.
– Herrera says the penalized teams make up a little bit of time as the flight to Kuala Lumpur flies out.
FIRST FLIGHT: RICHARDS; SUNAINA & DIMPLE; MANAS & SAHIL; IVAN & HILDA
– So far only Richard Herrera has spoken in a confessional format. What a hog.
This is called TAR Asia, but yet the lone American racer is the one who gets to talk all of the time.
– The flight length is 1, 600 kilometres according to Wu.
– Alan & Wendy start in sixth at 7:20am. Claire squints at the clue as they start at 7:30am. Both teams get into taxis and head to the airport. Whoa, now at the airport.
CLAIRE: 7:25? Can we get that flight?
WHAT THE HELL?! How were they at the airport at 7:25am if the flight does not leave until 7:30!
What time did their flight head out at?
SECOND FLIGHT: ETHAN & KHAIRIE; MICHELLE & CLAIRE; ALAN & WENDY
Ugh. So Michelle & Claire left at 7:30, ran around to get a taxi, went to the airport and got there by 7:25, booked tickets, went through security, boarded the flight, and took off by 8:01am.
Are producers even trying to be truthful with departure times this leg?
– It is 9:33am. Hilda refuses to run because of her leg that may or may not be twisted. Her and Ivan believe nobody else knows to use the KL Express. The joke is on them because the Richards, Sunaina & Dimple, and Manas & Sahil are all on it. Hilda and the Richards share a good laugh.
– Lots of fist bumping and handshakes as we see the Richards interact with everyone except Sunaina & Dimple.
– It is tough to screencap of anything because the edit is moving really fast. Teams are all sprinting up steps and outdoors searching for the tower. Hilda repeatedly says she cannot run anymore. They fall to fourth just like that.
Hilda is the only one moving slow enough for me to screencap. Her and Ivan should stop for a falafel sub.
– Richards are in the tower. They are searching for a big golden Buddha. Herrera says he saw the flag for Thailand. They block Manas & Sahil from seeing their choice. It’s wrong. Two minute penalty.
– Okay. They do not receive the clue after two minutes. Harden says they will go with Herrera’s next choice. If not, they will look for a golden Buddha.
In other words, do what the clue asks.
– Manas & Sahil luck out with the correct answer after not knowing how the touch screen worked. Manas picked a random one.
They completely lucked out. Both combine for the weirdest laugh I have heard in TAR history. It is like seven ghosts sharing a chuckle.
– They read that they must head to Colombo. The city is located 2, 500 kilometres away. It is home to 21 million people. Once here they must travel by taxi to Gangaramaya Temple. This building is over 1, 200 years old.
Teams must receive a blessing from the monks before receiving their next clue. Ever since TAR 6, a Sri Lanka visit always results in a Buddhist ceremony.
– Jess & Lani start in eighth at 9:42am. Hussein & Natasha are last at 9:48am.
If Yani & Nadine hit the mat before Jess & Lani but were out due to the 30 minute additional penalty, they must have barely lost to Hussein & Natasha.
– Natasha is allowed to speak as she says the gap between the first and last team is really big. Yeah, thanks Miss Obvious.
Without the four hour penalty, Hussein & Natasha would have been only 42 minutes behind Ivan & Hilda. That is a very narrow margin for nine teams to check in. This is why I hate equalizers more than halfway through the round. Not to mention everybody could only spend fifteen minutes or less at the Roadblock.
Khairie’s second attempt at the Roadblock put them 56 minutes behind Ivan & Hilda. That would have been a slightly less crappy way to go out compared to Yani & Nadine’s 4.5 hour penalty.
– Jess convinces a man to let them cut in line.
Why is it that Jess & Lani are shown manipulating a man to get ahead? When will there be a female pilot or a confused woman standing in line at the airport? I understand the whole “former strip club manager knows how to work the fellas”, but this is getting ridiculous.
– Hussein & Natasha are waiting in line at the airport. Both are engaged socially.
For instance, Hussein has made his friend on the race–a map of Kuala Lumpur.
– Natasha tears into him for refusing to ditch the sh–ty map.
I wonder if it was sold from a sh–ty apartment.
NATASHA: This map is not good, right? You’re still trusting it?
HUSSEIN: At least we can get some information we can get.
NATASHA: . . . . . . . .
VIEWERS: . . . . . .
Yeah, that is as interesting as things get between Hussein and Natasha.
Why do father/daughter teams end up having the most boring interactions at times?
You know what? This is round three, and Hussein & Natasha may have a chance to be ranked the most boring team I have ever blogged about.
See, after TAR 13 there were certain mactor teams cast who were either underedited or not part of the narrative of the season, but Hussein & Natasha have been provided with enough airtime so far. It’s just that all of their interactions have proven to be really boring.
We know Natasha was a mactress, and I think producers wanted to cast Natasha. However, the only partner she could run it with was her dad, and producers thought they could hype the season as featuring the first Asian father/daughter team.
But it is blowing up in their faces big time.
Their relationship is very subtle and too passive for television. Hussein is a naturally quiet man, and Natasha respects her father too much to be overly expressive or argumentative.
This is a great cast overall, but Hussein & Natasha have been a momentum killer whenever I see them on-screen.
– Back to the tower. Hilda randomly touches a button. It’s wrong.
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo, time penalty.
– By clicking that button for Cambodia, a gangsta rap song plays in Axiata. The Richards really dig it.
Yeah, just kidding. But I wish Ice Cube and Axiata had some sort of partnership.
– Sunaina & Dimple enter the elevator and head to the top. They try it and get it right. East Indian teams are kicking everyone’s butt right now. TAR Asia’s reputation is reversing.
I think Dimple cheated because she switched bodies with Tania for this task.
– Hilda asks Ivan to “look, look, look” rather than punching something in there.
– The Richards make their next guess. Amazingly enough, they guess Iran.
HARDIN: I know it’s not Iran. Iran don’t even Buddhas.
Incorrect. There are indeed Buddhists in Iran.
– Ivan picks the right one. He says he “knew” they were going there even though he got it wrong the first time. Needless to say Hilda is extremely excited about going to Sri Lanka.
– Hilda complains about her leg when walking down steps.
– Manas & Sahil refuse to say anything to Sunaina. They tell Sunaina they are going to India.
– Richards have their clue. They were probably wrong four more times before getting it right.
– The second flight lands at 10:34am. Ethan & Khairie, Alan & Wendy, and Michelle & Claire all have cabs.
FINAL FLIGHT TO KL: JESS & LANI; HUSSEIN & NATASHA
The flight does not depart until 11:39am because of a ninety minute delay. Bummer for Jess.
– Alan & Wendy, Ethan & Khairie, and Dominatrix are at the Tower. The soundtrack plays dopey music.
Everybody is looking around for monitors, including Alan. He sees invisible monitors at the other end of the room, and leads Wendy out of frame.
I love how the monitors cover half of the room, but Alan managed to miss it.
– Ethan & Khairie brag about picking “Dialog” on the first attempt. Better than Khairie using a key. Their advantage for 2.5/11 legs is finally over. Both celebrate even after leaving the building.
– Dominatrix has it next. No penalty for them from what we have seen. Alan & Wendy succeed too. They are in seventh.
– Airport time (again). Yes, two airport scrambles shown in the same round.
Come to think of it, we had two airport scrambles last round too. Penang to Kuala Lumpur, and Kuala Lumpur to Kota Kinabalu.
– Richards and Sunaina & Dimple are at the counter booking tickets.
– Alan & Wendy are in a taxi as Wendy teaches Alan the pronunciation of Sri Lanka.
ALAN: We’re going to Sree–
WENDY: To Sri Lanka!
ALAN: Shreee Lanka? That’s how you pronounce it?
WENDY: Yes, Sri Lanka. Say it again?
ALAN: Sch. . .Schwa Lanka!
Close enough, Alan. The confusion and amusement on his face says it all. I am not sure how ‘Sri’ ends up sounding like ‘Shruh’ either.
I do find it funny he used the word Schwa which is a linguistic term. He mispronounces the word linguistically by using a linguistic word.
I wish Paul Anka performed a concert in Sri Lanka.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Huh. He’s Canadian. This guarantee is void in Tennessee.
– The third flight lands in KL. Hussein & Natasha and Jess & Lani are here. Hussein & Natasha make the mistake of hiring a cab. Meanwhile Jess & Lani take the metro express like everyone else. I should add the only people on the express with them are three young men.
Yes, you can imagine where this is going.
JESS: Hey, do you guys have any money you can donate to us?
C’mon. Who are you?
Heather & Eve?
– There is no way this will work. Nobody is just going to empty their wallet and hand it over to complete strangers.
You’ve got to be kidding me. The guy hands over his entire wallet. They could take his credit cards as well! I should note it is not a one hundred dollar bill. It is a 100 Malaysian Ringgit note which is equivalent to about thirty US dollars.
It is called a Ringgit because Malaysians formerly bartered Ringette equipment as currency. Because, you know, Malaysia has lots of ice and snow.
You know what? I always thought Ringette was an outdoor game. Usually one of my female friends would say “yeah, I played Ringette when I was younger” and assumed it involved throwing rings at a target outdoors.
Or was similar to Mcwhipit Lacrosse.
But no, because of TAR Asia, I have now learned it is entirely indoors. So how the heck is it different from ice hockey?
Go ahead and read for yourself. Ice hockey is my least favourite sport despite being Canadian, and was completely lost reading this article.
Yes, I needed a new Malaysian currency joke for this season. Sorry, Sega.
– So what does Lani think about somebody handing over a wallet?
LANI: Somebody threw a wallet at me and I’m not one to turn down an open wallet.
– Jess states they are taking one hundred Ringgits each. . .aloud.
Hold a second, fella. You mean a strip club manager manipulated you into giving up sixty US dollars, and you did not disapprove of this until -after- the fact?
In the words of Penn Jilette from Celebrity Apprentice, “a lesson has been taught”.
– Hussein & Natasha get there before Jess & Lani. Maybe the cab was smarter. Both look stumped. Jess & Lani bid the fellas a good holiday and will catch up with them later.
– Natasha inputs a guess. It is correct.
Dance-off, my friends!
– Natasha rolls her tongue when reading the clue. Jess & Lani take notes from the monitor and have the clue. They discuss how their frowns were turned upside-down because of interacting with those guys.
LANI: I love talking to random people.
. . . .
– Richards and Dominatrix ‘wuzzup’ each other. Herrera instructs Dominatrix to head to the counter because they had been stuck searching everywhere. We witness all of the teams booking tickets for a 4:25pm flight. The plane has a four hour stopover in Singapore. Because we haven’t been to Singapore enough in TAR Asia.
– Only Jess & Lani are stuck. The only option is an 11:25pm flight.
– Commercial break. We resume. Jess & Lani are awarded a direct flight to Colombo which miraculously has them land simultaneously with the other eight teams.
Yes, the wonders of flying direct.
– Jess describes how everybody had their blinkers on to stop anyone and everything once in Sri Lanka.
We call it the Tony Vlachos method.
I wonder if locals knew TAR Asia was flying into the airport ahead of time?
We are now 17 minutes into the episode. This ends a streak of spending 110 consecutive minutes of airtime in Malaysia.
– Hilda ran a little. All of the teams are in taxis. Ethan is enjoying the adrenalin rush. Natasha thinks Alan & Wendy are behind as Jess & Lani pass every cab. The Richards have a driver who is going over 110 kilometres in city streets.
HERRERA: This guy was nightmarishly fast. He was MANILA fast.
That’s great. Just like in TAR Asia 2, Manila cab drivers are described as speeding maniacs. Awesome.
– Other teams are also concerned about how fast their own cabs are going. Lots of weaving in and out. Michelle looks like she is ready to vomit from the speed.
Screw you, slow van. You were only going ninety kilometres.
Michelle holding on for dear life.
Forget that crossing in TAR Asia 2’s Japan leg. This may be the place where you would lose a game of Frogger 99% of the time.
– Wendy is stressed. Richards comment on how the driver slows down and moves smoothly by the cops.
– You know how I said that Ethan is the one who looks like Curtis from BB 2000? Well, it’s actually Khairie. I have mixed up their names up to this point.
Producers really need to learn to be consistent with who stands from left-right at the mat and in the intros, and in what order Allan says their names. They have been much better this season, but we could not get through the first three rounds without at least one incident. This is the same crew that thought they could handle a team where both are named Richard. -_-
There. Much better. Ethan is the one who sucks at keys and looks like Collin from TAR Asia 2, and Khairie is the Curtis Big Brother 2000 clone.
– The hours of operation is not stated, but all teams are scrambling to pull numbered tags from the gate.
MANAS & SAHIL – 1
ETHAN & KHAIRIE – 2
RICHARDS – 3
SUNAINA & DIMPLE – 4
DOMINATRIX – 5
JESS & LANI – 6
ALAN & WENDY – 7
HUSSEIN & NATASHA – 8
Hussein accidentally grabbed the ninth tag, but put it back.
IVAN & HILDA – 9
Men -> Women -> Co-ed.
– Natasha reads that if they are not at the fence by 7:00am, they will lose their number in line and will go to the back of the line.
– Teams decide to sit on the streets of Colombo. Ivan is pissed, but Hilda asks him to sit down because they are here for a blessing.
Hooray for team interactions.
Oh, and one more thing. . .
They have to sleep here too.
Just before dawn. Colombo does not have chickens, so they rely on those calling dogs to wake up local farmers.
– It’s morning. Manas & Sahil see an elephant through the fence. The hours of operation claim the ceremony starts at seven.
Epic Halloween costume. Is it supposed to be the pro wrestler Goldust?
– Richards and Manas & Sahil enter for the ceremony. Ethan & Khairie are there as well. I assume three teams per ceremony given there are nine teams left in the race.
“What?! Three of us are wearing the same outfit. Two of us have to change.”
– It’s a Detour. Teams must head to the commercial centre (Pettah) and choose between Count or Carry.
And unlike TAR 25’s Malta round, both options are provided with a Wuxplanation.
– In Count, teams head to the fish counting station. Once they count the correct number of Batu Caves steps–er, I mean fish, they will receive their next clue.
Yes, the judge for the counting task possesses the Oliver TAR Asia 3 pose.
That looks like the most boring fish ever for consumption. It is like the Hussein of fish. What fisherperson feels it is necessary to have 9, 900 of these to sell? Are they that widely consumed in Colombo?
And is fish counting such a popular local sport that it receives its own point in the city?
– WU: The endless hustle and bustle of the crowded market could make it difficult for teams to get down to the guts of the task.
20 minutes and 23 seconds into the episode before Allan successfully spewus out a pun. I am just glad he didn’t pun prematurely for once.
“Do you even pun, bro?”
I love how the man in the pink shirt is disgusted by Allan’s pun.
– In Carry, teams must carry twelve blocks of ice. Each weighs roughly twenty kilograms. They must deliver it to Stall 65 in the marketplace.
ALLAN: Manoeuvring these huge chunks of ice through the crowded sea of people could weigh teams down.
Laziest Pwun ever.
– Teams are all cramming into tuk-tuks. Even in tuk-tuks they speed through the streets.
Not only does Sri Lanka have the fastest taxi and tuk-tuk drivers in the world, but also the least number of traffic cops per capita.
– The one monk starts throwing things at Claire’s head.
– The three all-female teams have their clues. I believe all of them have chosen to count.
– Manas is stunned when he is told the tuk-tuk ride was five hundred rupees. Dimple is told the same number. Richards have picked Carry.
Which includes the ugliest ice blocks that I have ever seen.
– The co-ed teams have the clue. Hilda initially thinks it was a Roadblock. Although I think Ivan is going to do most of the task regardless if it was a Roadblock or Detour.
– Ethan & Khairie have chosen Carry. We cut back and forth between them and the Richards. Herrera claims it was like playing in an opposing team’s arena because of how confusing the overall layout was. Fish are laying everywhere.
This is rough on the back.
– Manas & Sahil and Sunaina & Dimple are doing Count. Hilda yells at locals until somebody directs her to the fish count. Hussein has a Michael Naylor-inspired counter.
Ivan gets to count while Hilda tells him what increments to count the fish in because we know how helpful it is to hear numbers while counting.
I bet Hilda is not counting because of what happened in the first Roadblock.
– Richards are done and have their clue. They read that they must head to the Station Road Nugegoda and sell twenty peanut bags for fifteen Rupees apiece.
Shashikala Peanuts: The official peanuts of The Amazing Race Asia!
– Commercial break. We resume.
– Hilda repeats each number Ivan says aloud. Sunaina & Dimple have the correct number, and are done the Detour in second. It is a rainy day in Colombo.
Tuk-tuks need that extra push when accelerating on muddy roads. No wonder drivers are too afraid to slow down.
– Ethan & Khairie deliver cracked ice. Because of this, the judge rejects bad ice. Ethan proposes they switch Detours.
ETHAN: We’re good at counting. We’re not dumb.
Says the guy wearing a shirt where an alien with a gigantic head is sitting in a bathtub.
– Hilda announces she has lost count. Or rather, lost count of Ivan’s count.
Manas & Sahil suppress the distraction.
– Ivan sees this as a lost cause as he switches tasks. Will Hilda work a bit harder knowing they are behind?
Hilda and the rest of the crowd watch Ivan working hard at the task.
– Richards pick up the board of peanuts. They have a hard time.
HERRERA: Two loud-mouthed White guys selling overpriced peanuts in Sri Lanka is probably not the greatest profit making strategy I’ve ever heard.
Compared to rich businesswomen on a reality show attempting to sell M&M bars in skirts. Which of them do you think was fired because she took off her skirt, and still managed to lose in the process?
– Sunaina & Dimple are there selling peanuts. Dimple said they used their charm, begged, and pleaded to start selling peanuts. It must help that they do not sound like a stoned American from Colorado like Richard Herrera.
– Manas & Sahil switch to Carry which they should have done originally. Jess & Lani count to 1, 100 and are now in third. Ivan finishes the ice task as the crowd cheers, and has the clue in fourth.
– Alan & Wendy submit a wrong guess as they argue over who counted wrong. Elsewhere Dominatrix has the proper count.
1107–license to count fish.
Ivan using wind to power up the Tuk-tuk.
– Ethan & Khairie start putting on sad faces as they plead with him that they do not have enough money, and bargain for a lower fare. Round three and they already have money troubles.
Recall that Sri Lanka ended a 25-year civil war about a month before TAR Asia 4 was filming. I think the locals will have a tough time feeling sympathy towards a couple of Malaysian dudes on a reality show.
Fun fact: Canadians and Sri Lankans have had murky political ties because of media coverage regarding former Tamil Tigers within our borders.
– Hussein & Natasha have the correct count, and are currently in seventh. Natasha yells at Hussein for reading the clue too loudly.
LOL, Hussein’s fisherman outfit is back. I cannot figure out whether to comment on the vest, the jacket, or the wristband first. He looks like he is ready to go fishing on a lake near Merritt.
Yes, Merritt. Some annoying country town in the middle of BC that nobody cares about. My family only goes there for a rest stop located on the highway. It is the last rest stop for you to use it before you are in “hold it until we get there” territory.
– Dimple asks a local how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in the local language. Alan & Wendy get into a HUGE fight because Wendy wants to take time reading the clue while Alan wants to move. Alan gets his way. Wendy is pushing a cart of ice in front of him, but he runs into her and triggers a crash.
Experiencing relationship woes, Alan?
– Now for everybody’s favourite segment: The Return of Megan Rickey’s Camera Operator!
The camera operator zooms in on Wendy’s chest. I wonder if Alan saw this episode from home, flew to the camera operator’s hometown, and punched him out.
Also note this is why editors and camera operators should never be 95% male in their field. Shots like this happen.
– Sunaina & Dimple receive the clue, and it is an instant Roadblock.
ROADBLOCK HINT: Who can reap what they sew?
– Teams must head to Trendy Connections. They must make a shirt from a patterned cutout using a professional sewing machine. Once the judge approves, they will receive their next clue.
Yes, this is the same Trendy Connections featured nearly four years later in TAR 24: “All Stars?!” (II).
ALLAN: Teams will need to be a cut above the rest if they hope to seal together a victory in this leg.
Allan paid the woman behind him approximately fifteen cents to make his shirt. Hey, fair trade!
– That’s it for this clue.
Oh wait Dimple, one more thing. . .
It is a Yield. Yes, our first Yield in the TAR English-speaking franchises since TAR Asia 3.
In case you have forgotten about the Yield since TAR Asia 3 or TAR 11, this is where a team can choose any other team to stop racing for a pre-determined amount of time (fifteen to thirty minutes). The yielded team must flip the hourglass and wait for the sand to run out before they can continue on.
ALLAN: This is the first Yield on the entire race. Teams must choose wisely because they can use the Yield only once in the entire race.
WIKIPEDIA: This is the ONLY Yield on the entire race.
Huh. The first and last. Phil Keoghan treats Fast Forward explanations.
“You can only use it once, and this is the only time it will appear. Better choose wisely!”
– Richards are told to go away by a woman who claims to not have any money. Ethan says Khairie sucked at the task because he would do nothing other than say ’peanuts’.
In other words, Khairie was like a vendor at an American sporting event.
– Manas & Sahil are done loading ice. They are currently in eighth. Alan commands Wendy to stop yelling at him as he lifts the ice.
– Richards return to the stall to receive their next clue. Hardin asks if Herrera can sew. Herrera does not give much of an answer, which I suppose is what Hardin interprets as a ‘yes’ response.
– Sunaina & Dimple are at the Yield. I have always maintained that you should not use a Yield or U-Turn until it is the last one of the season, and when alliances are no longer advantageous.
In other words, do not be Louie & Michael.
– Apparently the Yield mat is stationed in front of the Trendy Connections.
So if you are confused like I was, here is how the tasks are setup:
Go to peanut stall. Sell peanuts. Receive clue at peanut stall. It is a Roadblock hint. The Roadblock location is only a few feet away. The Yield is stationed in front of the entrance.
Yeah, continuity fail on part of production.
Sunaina & Dimple fail to listen to my advice because of their personal grudge against the Dominatrix. What possible reason could they have for yielding such a young and innocent team? Why rebel against the rebels?
– Michelle says she has never said the word ‘peanuts’ more in her life. They joke about it. Michelle even pretends to cry and moan to earn sympathy. She sounds like an eight year old who has been denied ice cream.
“But I don’t wanna go home! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
Michelle’s reaction to when she sold peanuts to somebody who had a peanut allergy. Unless their name was Todd Margaret.
Claire getting told to “f–k off” by an elderly woman. She don’t want no stinkin’ peanuts.
– Richards hit the Yield mat. They are taken aback that nobody else can do anything for the twist.
– Hardin and Dimple start sewing. Dimple thinks it is impossible. Alan & Wendy load the last block of ice before receiving their clue.
See, Hilda? Women are capable of helping men at a physical and/or mental task!
– Wendy has to scream the clue because the crowd is yelling too loud for the sound operator to pick up Wendy’s audio.
– Ethan & Khairie are third to sell peanuts and arrive at the Roadblock simultaneously. Khairie will do the Roadblock.
– Hilda snaps at a local because he is trying to sell her his peanuts. Ethan convinces a local driver to continue helping them out.
Look at the tough guy look Ethan puts on as he grabs onto the local’s wrist. That move can form his own posse in no time.
I can assure you that all Canucks would be kneeling before Ethan. We’re all a big bowl of weaksauce.
– Alan & Wendy run into some classic tuk-tuk issue.
At least two workers are waiting there to help the driver out with filling up the tuk-tuk. Unless Rachel sees there is a green placard on the front windshield.
– So the driver is at the gas station to get gas, right?
Nope! He takes an immediate dive to the left. Perhaps he is buying a bag of peanuts at the snack bar. This is even worse than being Niroo & Kapil’d.
Just my Luk.
– Commercial break. We resume. The driver returns. Who knows where he went. Jess & Lani are selling peanuts to who they say are handsome men.
– Dimple catches on that she did not stitch it correctly. She was trying to undo it. Hardin thinks this is the toughest challenge to date. Natasha is having an easier time selling peanuts than Hussein. She really sweetens up her voice.
– Ivan & Hilda are done.
IVAN: Who can reap what they sue?
A lawsuit on TAR? Who are you?
Blake & Paige?
– Jess & Lani leap to fifth as they enter the Roadblock. Lani is doing it. Michelle is putting on her crying eyes before she successfully ninjas her way out of a frame.
– Manas & Sahil are next to the peanuts task. One issue, though. The ride was 3, 000 Rupees.
I bet taxis and tuk-tuks are expensive because the drivers burn so much additional fuel when driving over one hundred kilometres through the streets. Unlike the grandpa-like drivers who go from Sweden to Denmark in TAR 25.
– Manas & Sahil try to sell the twenty bags for 500 Rupees altogether. Yes, teams who had a tough time selling one bag for fifteen apiece (a total of 300) probably cannot comprehend why Manas & Sahil are nearly doubling the price.
MANAS: We’re looking for rich people on the road.
Yes, I am sure Sri Lanka is full of rich Sugar Mamas ready to waste their cash on young men.
– Michelle & Claire finish the task in sixth. Claire volunteers herself. They read the Yield message.
MICHELLE: Oh sh-te!
Yeah, Michelle knows who is in first at the moment.
– Ivan grabs the ‘4’ tag for the Yield. Hilda is annoyed because she never lets him grab it.
Ivan Evetovics: Tag Hog.
– Manas (the dude in the black shirt) kisses a man on the cheek after he agrees to buy the rest of the peanuts. I presume he gave a kiss because of the inflated price.
So this is HD, eh?
– Manas is doing the Roadblock. They are not looking forward to the Yield.
– Michelle & Claire are at the Yield. Cursing ensues.
CLAIRE: Oh my goodness, you did not just do that.
Yeah, you did not use the word ‘goodness’. What did you say, again?
CLAIRE: F–k you, we didn’t do anything you stupid sluts!
Yeah. Michelle starts swatting the air as if she is physically incapable of giving The Finger.
Or maybe she is swatting a bug. I dunno.
– The episode is getting serious now. Alan & Wendy begging to sell their peanuts. Hussein & Natasha finish the task in eighth. Hussein decides he will do it.
– The Yield results in Hussein & Natasha and Manas & Sahil casually passing by them. Claire asks Natasha to U-Turn them if the opportunity is presented. Khairie is not enjoying the Roadblock.
This is why I love Yields. Teams can walk by in a relaxed manner as if Michelle & Claire are Aaron & Arianne stranded on the side of a Spanish highway.
“How ya doin!”
– Alan & Wendy are done the task. It was merely peanuts. Wendy instantly wants to do the Roadblock. Michelle & Claire’s hourglass has run out.
– Whoa! A word is not bleeped out!
WENDY (looking at Yield board): Oh sh!t! Michelle and Claire!
Whoa! The Yield mat is the only censorship free zone in TAR Asia. This is probably why Alan & Wendy live in Hong Kong rather than anywhere else in China.
– Herrera sticks with his full-time position as narrator as he says the dudes will have a tough time with this task.
– Ethan is rejected.
– Dimple’s shirt is approved! She was paid zero cents, and her clothing was sold for thirty dollars in a charity auction. Goalllllll. The pit stop is Independence Square. Of course, it was erected in 1948.
Probably because that may or may not have been when Sri Lanka gained independence. Why I was mouthing the words ‘1948’ before Allan revealed the year is shocking. Do I really know that much about the country formerly known as Ceylon?
a) It looks more like a rectangle than a square
b) Since when is pit stop only one word?
Yeah, I’m talking to Wu.
– Sunaina & Dimple enter their tuk-tuk, and Sunaina says the dumbest thing I have heard all season.
SUNAINA: We need to go really very fast.
Do you know how F–KING FAST CABBIES IN SRI LANKA ALREADY GO?! That means you will be driving 270 kilometres instead of 140! You are bound to be killed quicker than Mary & Peach in the Langa Township.
– We immediately cut to the next team that finished the Roadblock.
“Hi, I am an old person. Therefore, I know how to sew.”
Even Peter Griffin took longer to watch a movie.
– Natasha recaps her dad’s performance in a boring way.
– It is a race to the pit stop. Sunaina states they gave their tuk-tuk driver the rest of their cash. Hussein & Natasha exit their cab too. It is a manipulated race on foot by the editors. Who will be first to the mat?
Let’s just say the one that Allan and the greeter are facing is a woman who comes from a country that starts with the letters “IND”.
– Allan congratulates the first place team, and because they have been racing too hard to see Sri Lanka, their prize is five-day four-night vouchers at the five-star Hilton with Ultra Deluxe (not making that up, I listened to this line three times) group accomodations. Include pampering massages, and Allan reveals the total comes to $3, 000 US dollars.
Which is coincidentally the price of this outfit.
Since when are all tours and hotel vacations given a total retail cost?
FIRST PLACE: SUNAINA & DIMPLE
Oh yeah, and that first place team was Sunaina & Dimple.
SECOND PLACE: HUSSEIN & NATASHA
And with that, some emotion pours from Hussein. Who knew a sewing task would make an old man more giddy than a kid in a candy store.
Not to be confused with a store in the town of Kandy which is located in central Sri Lanka, and used as a route marker in TAR 6.
Nor Kandi, the female rapper. Is she from Sri Lanka? No idea.
Yeah, just like the Sonic reference, I have used Candy Kong as a punching bag too much in my blogs.
What was with the transformation of Candy Kong over the years in Donkey Kong Country, anyway?
“Hi, I’m the girl next door!”
“So she’s finally here. . .performing you!”
“Hi, I am an aspiring super fitness model from Brooklyn! Also, Rare decided to remove the implants from DK64.”
Like, what the hell, Candy?
– Allan officially declares that they were second-to-last to show up at the Roadblock, but second to the pit stop. He asks Natasha if she is proud of her father. She replies by asking Allan if he can see her smile. Wu mocks her by smiling even wider in return.
Okay, guys. Enough.
– You know what my favourite part about this is?
Louie & Michael, who thought they were going to be the most dominant team in TAR history, finished ninth, eighth, and eighth after three rounds. Now even Hussein & Natasha’s average is better than theirs by this point.
– Hilda begs Ivan to focus. Michelle encourages Claire that she can do it. She repeats it which makes her sound like an Asian version of Rob Schneider. This is broken up due to Hilda accidentally shoulder-bumping Michelle as she shouts gibberish.
Hilda and Michelle’s only interaction to date.
– Khairie finishes the task.
EDITOR’S NOTE: When I was in the eighth grade, everyone had to take a class called CAPP 8 (Career and Personal Planning). The CAPP 8 program was divided into several components for the eighth grade. This included cooking, keyboarding, drafting, career planning, and sewing.
Needless to say I absolutely bombed Sewing. I received 18% for that unit, even with me being the only student who had to come in during lunch hour and repeatedly attempt to finish the three projects in twenty-two days. I couldn’t even finish the first one. -_-
It was the only time I ever failed a unit in high school or university. In fact, ninety-five percent of all courses I would score 80-100% as my final grade.
In other words, I would not be doing this Roadblock.
– ETHAN: You rock, Khairie. Seriously. You rocked that challenge.
Just imagine what Khairie would do at elevator concerts!
– Lani is done the Roadblock next. She and Jess pass Ethan & Khairie because Ethan & Khairie do not have the money to pay their tuk-tuk driver. This escalates quickly.
I think he is trying to give Ethan a Sri Lankan Burn.
– Commercial break. We resume. Ethan does not have money. Guy wants money. Ethan does not have money. Guy has money. Ethan & Khairie hug the guy, shop around for a really low priced tuk-tuk ride. Maybe they used the same dude. I am amazed they pulled it off after producers would have witnessed Ethan’s arm twisted in half.
– Claire is done the task in sixth. Dominatrix indeed. Manas & Sahil are seventh. Hardin is done the task in eighth. Herrera would wear it out to the nightclub. Major tuk-tuk showdown on the streets.
– Michelle is uber pissed that she lost her favourite pin to the wind. Because it is a tuk-tuk, the pin flew outside the window.
– Alan thinks Wendy will be more relaxed and do better now that the other teams are gone.
“Oh right. I am an idiot. Nevermind.”
– Jess & Lani’s driver complied with the original price of 1, 000 Rupees. They are now at the pit stop location, and the price has tripled to 3, 000. A man manipulating -Jess- for money? Now this is a role reversal.
JESS: You’re ripping us off.
The driver is not afraid to get his hand into Jess’ face.
Well, this is going to backfire.
JESS: You’re an EVIL EVIL MAN!
“WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND!”
– Jess shoves the money into the man’s hand.
JESS: Don’t touch me. Rot in hell!
– THIRD PLACE: IVAN & HILDA
How do they keep doing this?
FOURTH PLACE: MICHELLE & CLAIRE
They were sixth to the Yield but yet improved their position by two spots.
– Allan questions them about the targets on their head. Michelle was pissed.
ALLAN: You still came fourth in this leg. You two are a strong team whether you like to hear that or not.
– Wendy finishes the Roadblock a couple minutes before Luke. Alan tells Wendy to not give up as he carries her bags. All of the other teams hired tuk-tuks to get to Independence Square.
A bus? They are taking a bus when they are in last place? Wow, they must have been ripped off by every driver along the way because there is no way you should be taking the bus if you can afford a cab.
– Ethan & Khairie, Richards, and Manas & Sahil are dropped off at Independence Square. Both teams settle their low bills with the driver. I do not know how Manas & Sahil could afford it.
FIFTH PLACE: ETHAN & KHAIRIE
SIXTH PLACE: RICHARDS
TEAM NUMBER SEVEN: MANAS & SAHIL
Who knew young all-male teams would not do well at a sewing task.
– TEAM NUMBER EIGHT: JESS & LANI
ALLAN: You -just- made it.
I don’t know. I doubt it was that close considering the last place chose to take a freakin’ city bus in the mad scramble.
– Another story is forming.
The Nahasapeemapetilons are join the fray.
Sahil goes over for a friendly hello, but Allan calls them back to the mat.
– Allan cannot check Manas & Sahil in officially until the dispute with the driver is settled.
Manas explains it in a confessional.
MANAS: I don’t understand. They’re saying that we gave them the money, we paid them, not the full amount, but we paid them. And they gave us the ack(now)ledgment glance that also it’s fine.
What was the glance by the way, Manas?
Yeah, I doubt they made that face. That looks more like they are confused as to why you are paying them 2, 800 Rupees less than Jess & Lani’s fare.
I love how Sahil is silently plotting the death of the taxi drivers during Manas’ confessional.
– They ask the drivers if they want more money. Manas runs away to find more money.
“Excuse me while I find a sword to cut through bushes and weeds in the fields to find Rupees!”
– Jess & Lani are summoned back to the mat.
ALLAN: Lani & Jess, thank you for returning to the mat.
Lani & Jess or Jess & Lani? Pick one and stick with it! And as if Jess or Lani could have said “f–k you Allan, I’ve been here once today and will not return to you again until next round”.
SEVENTH PLACE: JESS & LANI
“Yay! This changes absolutely nothing!”
– Alan & Wendy exit the tuk-tuk. Of course there is no way a bus ride where they are lost to the point that they ask other passengers to tell them when to get off will work out.
– What is Manas’ plan, anyway?
Why, ask the other resting teams for money, of course!
Usually we see teams whisked off to the hotel or resting area in seasons 1-13, or directly to sequester away from other teams in seasons 14-present.
But here? This is the second leg in a row where teams are just chilling outside about a hundred feet from the mat.
I never knew this was allowed. If Manas was begging money from locals of a third-world country, Alan & Wendy would have a chance. But because he could borrow directly from other racers, this issue is resolved instantly.
In fact, Jess gives away the rest of her money. I see a couple of other teams pitch in too.
– Sahil offers up his shirt and jeans in addition to the Rupees. The man declines this offer.
Yes, I am sure the guy wants your shirt and jeans that you have been wearing for 36 straight hours, and spent that time sleeping outside on concrete or running through humid streets without a shower. Forget your bracelet worth at three Rupees too.
– The bill is settled. Sahil thanks the man twenty times. Alan stops running as he is drained from carrying both bags. Wendy encouraged him to stop. I bet three rounds in ultra humid locations must be exhausting.
EIGHTH PLACE: MANAS & SAHIL
ALLAN: Let this be a lesson to save up money for the rest of the leg.
A lecture by Allan? How embarrassing.
– Sad music plays. It reminds me of the elementary school music from EarthBound.
LAST PLACE: ALAN & WENDY
Haha, pwned. They suck.
– ALLAN: I am sorry to tell you that you’re the last team to arrive. I’m here to tell you two that this is a pre-determined non-elimination round.
ALAN: Wuhhhhhhhhhh. Wa-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-haaaaaaaaaaa.
Wow. I am stunned. Two non-eliminations in the opening three rounds? I did not see that coming.
– The Marked for Elimination penalty is in effect. Wendy says they need to stay calm during challenges, but know they always suck at doing that regardless. She wishes they could work together more.
– Yikes. We only have one non-elimination for the next eight rounds. This season will have a very fast paced finish.
Next Time on TAR Asia 4: More proof of TAR 24’s plagiarizing efforts, and a Fast Forward at a bus station of all places.
P.S. I wish producers told us at the end of the season that they intentionally underfunded teams for this leg knowing it would be impossible to meet costs of taxi rides. That would be incredibly mean.
Rank the Legs
1) Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia -> Colombo, Sri Lanka
Yes, round three is our first clean round of the season.
What was with the Axiata route marker in Kuala Lumpur before heading to Colombo? Was it just a way for the trailing teams to have additional time to catch up and show up to Colombo together? But the temple was an equalizer anyway.
Yeah, this had to be just for the sponsour money.
I am glad they decided not to be complete morons by having a two minute penalty that lets you try again at the Axiata task rather than the “one ten minute life and no continues” method of the round two Roadblock.
Other than that the only complaint is that the Detour had a counting task which we already saw in the premiere. It is a bit too early to cycle through similar tasks in a season. TAR 16 had a few counting tasks too so I really am getting sick of them.
I enjoyed seeing the Yield revived. I dunno why but I like it when vintage twists are acknowledged by the franchise.
The ice carry (in Sri Lanka of all places), the sewing Roadblock, and selling peanuts were all good tasks. Also the task of surviving the lethally fast taxi drivers or the lethally priced fares for the cab rides.
Watching Manas & Sahil’s approach of asking other teams to pay their own cab was intriguing to watch because that had not happened since the mugging non-elimination penalties in the American version. Yes, Asia 2 used that penalty but Henry & Terri somehow did not need money from other teams after they protested at the mat.
Also, I wish I had Jess & Lani with me whenever someone tried to rip me off.
My favourite part is how surprised I was that it was a non-elimination round. Outside of TAR Asia 1, TAR 3, TAR 5, and TAR 6, this is the first time in a while where a non-elimination surprised me. Nobody had opened the season with two of their three non-elimination legs being used in the first three rounds.
It means teams will be eliminated rapid fire for the remainder of the season. And that’s not such a bad thing compared to other American ones.
In conclusion, the Yield did nothing to the Dominatrix and Hussein is a sewing beast. The end.
2) Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia -> George Town, Penang, Malaysia
Running backwards up a narrow staircase at the starting line? Counting steps at Batu Caves? Driving yourself to a route marker that was aired just a few months ago in the US version, and directly acknowledging it?
Refusing to properly explain a soccer penalty shootout task?
Creating a Detour where ten teams all pick the same Detour where one member pretended to clean a window and the other took a picture?
All of the teams finishing within an hour of each other?
Sorry, that was Bethany Hamilton ranking this leg.
I am glad nobody was eliminated because nothing really happened this round. I applaud producers for trying two unique tasks and a unique visual for the starting line, but re-using Kuala Lumpur and Penang so soon again made it feel stale.
Not to mention my ears burn from hearing Amazing Grace. By the way, did teams ever start forming relationships with each other? I feel like we learned almost nothing about everyone other than a few occupations and country of origin.
Nothing very laugh out loud funny either other than Hilda becoming the new Terri and Jess picking up locals that do NOT like being used.
Losing in your home town is always fun to watch, but seeing you finish in first place for that round comes off as boring as Tammy & Victor. Sorry Ethan & Khairie.
Maybe I just have something against having any more rounds in that whole peninsula. Los Angeles, northeastern China, and the Malay peninsula will always be under fire in these blogs.
I will praise them for doing a Roadblock and a Detour in the season premiere. Lots of tasks squished into one episode, come to think of it.
3) George Town, Penang, Malaysia -> Kampung, Malaysia
What a dumb round design.
An equalizer halfway through the leg?
Give a lousy twenty minute advantage for a team eating 275 chicken balls knowing that failure to complete one of the tasks will automatically give five teams a four hour penalty?
Petting the anaconda looked dangerous.
The underwater puzzle Roadblock was complicated.
The Detour was on par with most tasks in TAR history. Adventure task versus coordination.
Self-drive legs are always what TAR is all about.
But a four hour penalty for a team failing to complete the underwater puzzle Roadblock within ten minutes? Four hour penalties should only be assessed if a team QUITS a task.
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!
Allan never explains this crucial detail before the task starts. We just see Claire be led out of the water being told time is up fifteen minutes later, and the screen displays a four hour penalty for her. Viewers are led to believe that producers made up this penalty on the spot, but we know there is no way this can be true.
Maybe Allan said it aloud and producers replied “no, when you say it aloud, the twist sounds stupid”.
Well, if it sounded dumb when Allan says it then maybe the idea is REALLY STUPID IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Following TAR 16’s unnecessarily high levels of nastiness towards each other, it is nice to watch a season where everybody gets along. The closest thing to a rivalry is Sunaina & Dimple simultaneously hating and loving Michelle & Claire who they nicknamed Dominatrix.
Lastly, the Richards should be given ten bucks just for spooking Hilda twenty feet from the pit stop mat. Classic.
And screw you TAR 24 for copying half of the round and ruining any good task that occurred for this leg. Shame on you.