The Amazing Race 15 episode four rankings

Fourth round

“Don’t Forget Your Passport”

coby archa

vietnam maria tiffany 7

Coby, I lied. I’m not really a non-profit worker who helps troubled youth. I am a poker player.

don't forget your passport

We’re heading to Cambodia in this week’s episode of. . .

don't forget your passport 2

Don’t Forget Your Passport!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0395052/board/thread/78250614

JAPAN – VIETNAM – CAMBODIA – UNITED ARAB EMIRATES – THE NETHERLANDS – SWEDEN – ESTONIA – CZECH REPUBLIC – UNITED STATES

Yes, this is the second of only two visits to Cambodia for the TAR franchise. They visited Cambodia just one year earlier for the fifth round of TAR 13 (also a race that traveled westward). We return here for the fourth round of TAR 15.

I don’t know why exactly, but Cambodia is visited twice in three seasons, but ignored for the five years that have elapsed since then.

Previously on TAR: Ten teams raced from Cai Be, Vietnam to Ho Chi Minh City. Marcy reflected while Lance & Keri battled. Zev & Justin crashed at the Detour. As Flight Time & Big Easy tasted victory. Lance’s smashing success at the Roadblock kept him and Keri in the race as Marcy & Ron fell short.

Nine teams remain; who will be eliminated next?

– Intro time. Yes, The Amazing Race did have an intro every episode for its first twenty-three seasons. Not just in the season premiere and finale.

– Phil introduces us to Ho Chi Minh City. He is hanging out in Red Circle. It becomes a Vietnam War lesson again.

cambodia tank

Tastes like. . .burning.

– Flight Time & Big Easy who were first to arrive at an unspecified time. . .

CHEYNE: Dammit!

Heh, I love they re-aired Cheyne’s “Dammit” when Globetrotters’ victory was announced.

. . .will depart at 6:53pm.

cambodia globetrotters

Early sunset. Suspiciously early sunset. Did they really leave at 6:53pm?

– Flight Time reads they must fly to “Nome Penh, Cambodia”. Yeah, it’s really Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A gong plays when Phil introduces the city.

Yes. All Southeast Asian countries west of Vietnam receive a gong.

cambodia colgate

I wonder if that Colgate truck is heading to the Floating Dentist from TAR 13 in Cambodia?

cambodia monkey

Yep, they really did show a monkey scratching itself in hyper speed.

cambodia scenery

Such cool scenery in Cambodia.

– Once in Phnom Penh, they must take a taxi to the Foreign Correspondents’ Club and find the assignment editor. Then they must speak in a whisper asking for their next assignment to receive their next clue.

cambodia editor 2

Shhhh. Don’t disturb them.

cambodia editor

He looks like the shifty-eyed dog from the Mel Gibson film.

cambodia editor 3

Judging by his paper, he speaks French.

cambodia newspaper

India is not the only country on The Amazing Race capable of hiding clues in newspapers.

cambodia fcc

eminem

The FCC won’t let me be
So let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me.

– Flight Time & Big Easy run off to a taxi. Big Easy says the reason they get along so well is because they are already on a team together.

FLIGHT TIME: This is already an experience I’ll never forget. I found myself last night cleaning Big Easy’s socks and underwear. So if that’s not something that has bonded us closer, then I don’t know what is.

cambodia globetrotters 2

Flight Time and Big Easy?
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.
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More like Flight Time and CLEAN Easy!

– Big Easy wants to stay in top three or top five for this round.

– Megan & Cheyne depart second at 6:54pm. Gary & Matt begin third at 6:58pm.

GARY: Matt is larger than life. Matt’s colour has been every colour in the book, and it drives me nuts. But I am learning to appreciate it.

MATT: I bet this place has a hoppin night life. . .

GARY: . . .Oh yeah (chuckles).

cambodia gary tomljenovich

Currently deciphering what “hoppin” means.

– Brian & Ericka start fourth at 6:59pm.

BRIAN: We figured out that the theme for The Amazing Race this year is a jungle theme. We’ve had ducks, we’ve had zebras.

ERICKA: Team Jungle Fever lives on.

BRIAN: Team Jungle Fever literally!

cambodia brian kleinschmidt

I’d rather not know what is on his finger.

– Brian claims it is a Ho Chi Minh Humming Bird that was in his eye. Ericka sees them all over her pamphlet.

cambodia brian kleinschmidt 2

Yep. All brown dots are Ho Chi Minh Hummingbirds.

– Sam & Dan begin fifth at 7:06pm. He promises his driver lots of money if they move fast.

cambodia taxi

You’re on, pal!

– Maria & Tiffany snag a taxi at 7:16pm.

– Globetrotters and Megan & Cheyne are at the airport. They enter Vietnam Airlines. No flights today, and no other airlines go to Cambodia. Everyone will be on the 12:25pm flight.

– Mika & Canaan depart seventh at 7:25pm. Canaan reads the clue. Mika promises to connect and speak in a whisper. Yet again we pass by them without a confessional.

– Zev & Justin depart eighth at 7:31pm. Justin explains that him and Zev attended the same camp when they were younger and have been friends ever since. Zev responds that Justin is a great human being who looks out for people and has been good to him, and was taken into Justin’s group of friends.

– Now it’s time for Zev & Justin to re-enact a FRIENDS joke.

JUSTIN: I don’t even know how to say where we are going.
ZEV: Phonh Penh?
JUSTIN: Nam Penh?
ZEV: Sean Penn?
JUSTIN: Sean Penn, Cambodia.
ZEV: We’re going to Sean Penn, Cambodia.

cambodia zev justin

You stole the same joke from FRIENDS! Chandler dates a woman who thought the capital of Cambodia was “Sean Penn”.

chandler bing

“Are you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought the capital of Cambodia was Sean Penn.

chandler bing 2

The only guy to find FRIENDS funny.

– Lance the Lion Hearted & Keri depart last at 7:32pm. Lance flashes the Nixon symbol when he hails the taxi.

cambodia lance keri

“I’m not a lion!”

– Lance says they are getting married after the race, and believes the race provides five years of marriage stress. He knows their communication sucks, and needs to listen more. Their plan is to follow the other teams at the airport.

– Several teams show up to the airport. An edited sound byte of Maria yelling “go go go” when her and Tiffany are barely moving in the parking lot does not matter much.

– Zev & Justin hit bad traffic while all other teams are at the airport. They need a lifeline.

cambodia zev justin 2

Justin uses his Phone a Friend.

– JUSTIN: Move around that car.
ZEV: Or I’ll call your motherrrrr and you’ll be in trouble.

The car passes a car thanks to Zev’s threat.

I love Zev & Justin’s unique sense of humour.

– Zev & Justin show up to the airport.

JUSTIN: Even Lance & Keri are here.
LANCE: Our goal was just to beat you guys. You are currently in last place.

cambodia zev justin 3

*NOTE: REMEMBER TO HAVE THE ‘CURRENTLY IN LAST PLACE’ ICON SPLICED IN THERE.*

Lance does the editor’s job.

– Many teams are booking tickets. Mika & Canaan are last to purchase tickets for the first flight. That’s right. Seven of the nine teams are on the first flight.

cambodia vcr

I don’t know why the agent is printing a VCR though. Didn’t we just recycle several of them last leg?

– The 12:25pm flight is full. Lance & Keri and Zev & Justin are on the second flight. 2:15pm.

cambodia reaction

Lance’s voice drops to the point that you think his mother and cat were simultaneously ran over by a semi-truck and were caught by all eighteen wheels.

LANCE: that’s not really good but mufflemuffle what are you going to do.

– Then something shocking happens that has not happened since the start of the second round.

cambodia mika canaan

A Mika & Canaan confessional! Two episodes is a long time to go without a confessional!

brenda lowe

Oh. Sorry Brenda. Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.

CANAAN: We made it by the skin of our teeth.

And that is it for their confessional. Their time in the public eye is more short-lived than Jordan Croucher’s music career.

jordan croucher

At least he does not look quite as homeless as Jay Bizzy. What an odd fellow from the Maritimes.

– Lance & Keri are first on the waiting list for the 12:25pm flight. Zev & Justin are second on the waiting list.

– Nightfall. A unique 8 Mile inspired song plays as we see Zev & Justin rest in the airport. I do not believe they ever use that soundtrack again.

– Teams board the bus to head to the terminal. Oh my god, Canaan gets another confessional. He says the bus doors are closed which means neither Lance & Keri nor Zev & Justin will be accepted onto the 12:25pm flight.

MARIA: It’s ninety-nine percent sure that Zev & Justin and Lance & Keri are going to have to take the next flight.

That number may or may not be accurate. Editors are finally fed up with Tiffany as much as I was back in ’09 because we have not heard from her yet this round.

– Teams are now on the flight. Zev & Justin are at the counter as they ask for tickets. So do Lance & Keri. Blunder music plays when the agent informs Lance that no seats remain. I should note at least three of the agents are wearing the face masks.

cambodia mask

Is this a clinic or is the Vietnam Flu spreading?

– Both teams are told there are not enough tickets remaining despite numerous pleas.

– Commercial again.

– We resume. Justin has a bad feeling. Zev’s repeated sentence of “we need to be on the flight is played”.

– Both teams are accepted onto the flight! Justin is also given a compliment.

cambodia justin kanew

Justin friendly with the locals.

cambodia keri morrione

lil mama

Those tickets are poppin. . .they’re poppin. . .

– Lance wastes no time taunting people from the bus. He is even doing a loud evil laugh. Such a Lance thing to do.

cambodia lance keri 2

A lion emerges from the shadows.

arm and hammer

Why does his arm look like the Arm and Hammer logo? Ridiculous.

– MATT: Oh. It’s them.
LANCE (jumping off bus): No cheap win, bitches! No cheap wins!

cambodia lance layne

Lance Layne is the mothaf—in name
Brian, he loves the jungle theme?
Well, you ain’t got no pride
Cause I’m the Lion King
Of the Vietnamese
Tina asks for bigger planes
These guns BUILD bigger planes
You protest?
Well my street smarts will take you to trial
Prosecute me all you want
But the verdict is in
Your honour has slammed the gavel
Lance Layne: Ace Attorney just put you racers in a tailspin!
And your sentence:
Kissing my toned white Lion Ass!

– Lance admits the other teams are great and a two hour disadvantage would have killed them. Zev & Justin do not even address their lucky break.

cambodia zev justin 4

“Sean Penn, Cambodia, here we come!”

Yep. Still hung up on the FRIENDS joke.

cambodia flight

Today’s flight path brought to you by Google!

cambodia monks

Monks wearing the coolest school uniforms ever.

– So teams land in Cambodia. Guess who is first?

cambodia zev justin 5

chip no way

No way, man!

– They hail a taxi.

JUSTIN: Very fast, okay? Like the cops are chasing you but safely?

Like cops are chasing the driver safely?

– Megan & Cheyne are second, Sam & Dan are third, Brian & Ericka fourth, Globetrotters fifth, Gary & Matt sixth, Maria & Tiffany seventh, Lance & Keri eighth, and Mika & Canaan last.

– Gary & Matt may have the best driver possible.

cambodia taxi 2

Too many American movies for that guy.

– Maria does not understand personal space.

cambodia maria ho

Right in the fellow’s face.

– I find it amusing that Lance & Keri are back in the same position as they were at the start of the round.

– Zev & Justin like being in Cambodia. They ask the cab driver to stay with them for the day.

JUSTIN: You stay with us. Or I’ll call your mother.

– Zev’s repeated “Let’s go!” audio clip from last round is played. They enter the FCC with Megan & Cheyne. Sam & Dan enter too. Sam & Dan speak in a whisper to advance ahead.

cambodia picture

cambodia picture 2

Back-to-back creative clues? Where is this TAR coming from? This is the same season that eliminated a team at the starting line and had them equalized at a Japanese Gameshow studio, yes?

cambodia hotel le royal

The hotel they need to find is Hotel Le Royal. There they must search until they find the original picture in the hotel.

– It is revealed to be a picture of Jacquelin Kennedy.

cambodia hotel le royal 2

This is the man we have hired to protect the photograph? He looks more like a Mongolian troop than a bellboy, in my opinion.

– This was her only official visit to Cambodia, and it was in 1967. I am curious what she did on unofficial visits.

– When they find the photograph, they will receive their next clue. Zev & Justin are first to the cab driver. The driver knows it instantly like he was Heidi Strobel.

cambodia king

I like how the driver could not care less that an American figure is in the photograph. It makes me feel better that he recognized it for a national figure rather than a foreign leader’s spouse.

– Dan asks the driver if he knows the woman. He responds that it is the picture opposite the Royal Hotel.

cambodia dan mcmillen

Why is that so shocking, Sam?

cambodia megan cheyne

Megan finds herself in a crowd of Sri Lankan tuk-tuk drivers when she asks about the picture. What they have in mind is not pretty.

– Brian & Ericka are at the FCC. Globetrotters pick up the paper but Flight Time does not know how to whisper. Lance & Keri, Gary & Matt, and Maria & Tiffany all retrieve the papers.

Here are the ways to retrieve the clue:
“MAY I HAVE MY NEXT ASSIGNMENT?”
“What is our next assignment?”
“Psssst. May I have my next assignment.”
“CAN WE HAVE OUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT?”

But Mika & Canaan, much like the way they danced in front of the golden dragon water puppets, do not bother with directions once again.

cambodia mika canaan 2

May I have my next task, please?

cambodia mika canaan 3

May I have my next task, please?

All you had to say was please. . .er, assignment.

– Gary & Matt are told it is a hotel by the palace. Canaan takes a new approach.

cambodia mika canaan 4

He tries to level with them. Man-to-man. Eye-to-eye.

“Can I have my next task, please?”

CANAAN: I wasn’t getting the clue because I kept saying ‘task’ instead of ‘assignment’. So sometimes little details. Reading the clue, yeah.

cambodia canaan smith

Reading? Not his thing.

– Globetrotters are taken to Hotel Royal. Maria & Tiffany follow.

– Much like when the blunder music played with Gary & Matt, Brian & Ericka are also told it is a hotel by the palace.

cambodia brian ericka

Ericka practices her pageant wave as she is rewarded with deceiving information.

– Lance & Keri pick up a local who identifies Jacqueline. He enters the cab with them. Because they are from Boston, Lance knows it is Jackie Onassis.

KERI: I didn’t even look at the picture.

Way to contribute to the team effort, Keri.

cambodia lance keri 3

I think Lance will ditch Keri for The Cambodian Temp.

– Mika & Canaan are given the correct information. Justin realizes the photo is of Jackie Kennedy. Gary recognizes it too, but refuses to give credit to any other racer.

GARY: I bet -I- was one of the few to recognize it.

cambodia gary matt

Get it? Cause I’m old? Nudge nudge.

– Now we play a hilarious game of. . .

WHY DID THE AMERICAN EDUCATION SYSTEM FAIL YOU?

cambodia mika canaan 5

CANAAN: Queen Elizabeth?

cambodia flight time big easy

“It’s one of the queens from around here.”

More like Flight Time and Big Fail.

cambodia mika canaan 6

MIKA: It was definitely somebody of Cambodian descent. I mean, it looked like the people of Cambodia.

Oh god. Mika saying it with absolute certainty is what kills me. I also love the fact that the second half of her answer makes zero grammatical sense.

– Sam & Dan enter a guess, but at least they make it sound like a guess rather than fact.

cambodia sam dan

“It’s a queen or a princess. . .

– But Mika & Canaan still aren’t done.

cambodia mika canaan 7

CANAAN: It is someone significant to Cambodia.

cambodia hotel le royal 2

Yep. The First Lady has nothing to do with American history.

– We move on from humiliating Americans as Zev & Justin are first to the hotel. Justin tells Zev he was right as they arrive at the Kennedy suite. It’s a Detour. Cover or Wrap.

– Teams must head to a helmet stand and choose four motorcycle helmets. Then, using only their powers of persuasion, the teams must sell the helmets for ten dollars to a family of four consisting of two adults and two children. Once they give the money to the helmet shop owner, they will receive their next clue.

cambodia motorcycle

I feel bad for the son.

motorcycle

Motorcycle. . .m-m-motorcycle. . .

cambodia helmet

Nice helmets.

cambodia owner

The helmet shop owner next to a bunch of recycling.

– In Wrap, teams must find the Russian market and locate stalls 980 and 981 where the shopkeeper will hand over an intricately patterned silk scarf. Then they must search this confusing corridors of the market for a woman wearing an identical scarf. If they correctly match up the scarves, they will receive their next clue.

cambodia scarf

That poor woman chose the wrong scarf to wear today.

cambodia three rivers

I wonder if she has ever seen Three Rivers? I know I haven’t.

– Zev & Justin choose Wrap. Justin high-fives the local before heading to the market.

cambodia justin kanew 2

Very nice driving. High five!

JUSTIN: Terry, you are the smartest man in Cambodia. After the night we had we deserve this. I’m going to name one of my kids after you. Probably my eighth.

cambodia zev justin 6

cambodia taxi 3

Rumpeleighthskin?

– Gary & Matt and Brian & Ericka are at the Royal Palace. Both teams show up there simultaneously.

cambodia royal palace

A hotel that you can’t go inside? Why would the locals think Americans would want to see a blue wall? Strange.

GARY (to BRIAN): Did you know it was Jackie Kennedy?
BRIAN: No.

I love how Gary rubs it in.

– Brian & Ericka ask a driver if he knows the Kennedy Suite. Gary & Matt follow. Both teams choose a rickshaw.

– Justin asks Terry if he knows karma.

JUSTIN: Do you know karma? If you do something good, something good comes back to you, you know?
ZEV: Or bad.

cambodia zev justin 7

Thanks, Zev.

JUSTIN: So if well them to go to the wrong place, is that bad karma?
TERRY (laughs): Yep.

But Terry is not done.

cambodia zev justin 8

Terry would be a great player for The Amazing Race Cambodia.

– Zev & Justin are at the Russian Market. They and Terry journey to Stall 980. The driver is the one who asks directions for them.

– Sam & Dan are second to the hotel. Zev & Justin have a big lead. Globetrotters, Mika & Canaan, and Megan & Cheyne ask Sam & Dan if they have found it.

cambodia sam dan mcmillen

Congratulations Sam & Dan, that may be the most unnecessary lie told outside of Maria & Tiffany covering up their poker playing profession.

Seriously. Teams just have to go inside, and turn left to see the Kennedy Suite. Just tell the freakin’ truth when they are two seconds from the clue box next time.

– Sam & Dan choose Wrap. Sam proclaims he has good eyes. Globetrotters and Megan & Cheyne choose Wrap.

CANAAN: Wanna try and sell?
MIKA: Don’t think so. It’s out of our control. We should do Wrap.

I think every salesperson in America would disagree with you there. Selling helmets to locals sounds like an Apprentice task for Donald Poy.

– Zev & Justin already have their scarf. Neither of them see any women in the market. That applies to their real life.

– Maria & Tiffany have the clue and choose Wrap. They are sixth. Zev & Justin split up in the market.

– Lance & Keri, Brian & Ericka, and Gary & Matt are at the hotel. Somehow Brian & Ericka and Gary & Matt have caught up to Lance & Keri in a single taxi ride. How did that happen?

cambodia clue

Where the heck did Lance & Keri go? Did they seriously miss a super obvious clue AGAIN?! This is horrendous. They both need glasses pronto.

– How long does it take for Lance & Keri to backtrack?

cambodia taxi 4

Long enough for Brian & Ericka and Gary & Matt to return outside and drive away!

– Lance & Keri pick up a clue. They ask their driver if selling helmets will be easy. He insists it will be.

– Zev & Justin find the woman in the purple scarf.

JUSTIN: Grab her! Grab her!

cambodia scarf 2

Uh oh. This woman is in a world of trouble.

cambodia scarf 3

And that scarf is the only trace of her left behind.

– Zev reads they must travel on foot to Wat Toul Tom Pong where they will search for their next clue. Their driver knows where it is located. Justin tells the taxi driver to drive slowly as him and Zev run behind him. Brilliant.

– Sam & Dan are second to the Russian Market. Sam grabs the scarf from the shopkeeper and in a voiceover says he saw a lady wearing the same one. They make their way through it and have the lady right away. Wow. Easy Detour.

– Globetrotters ask for directions to Stall 980. They found two young women from Pennsylvania hanging out in the market. They enlist their help.

cambodia globetrotters 3

Win a tour of Cambodia with the Harlem Globetrotters!


FLIGHT TIME: I would love to say they helped us out because of our good looks.
BIG EASY: I mean, I’m 6’9″ and he’s six-fo.
FLIGHT TIME:  Six-nine and ugly ass, I’m six-three and good looking.

cambodia globetrotters 4

I mean. . .yeah!

– Megan & Cheyne are given a purple scarf.

– Maria & Tiffany are stuck in traffic.

MARIA: Are we almost there? I don’t understand why it’s taking so long.

cambodia maria ho 3

Really? You don’t?

– Zev & Justin are at the route marker.

JUSTIN: Roadblock–who is ready to go bananas?

– We then get a really bizarre monkey sound effect accompanied by a guy in a monkey suit.

cambodia monkey 2

PHIL: In Cambodia, monkeys are so revered that the royal family even employs a royal monkey master who trains dancers to behave like monkeys.

cambodia monkey 3

Thank goodness I was not there for the ‘Learn How to Scratch Yourself Like a Chimp’ lesson.
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And are we seriously ignoring the clowns on stilts?

It’s hilarious to hear Phil say the word ‘monkeys’ or the phrase ‘monkey master’ in such a serious tone.

PHIL: In this Roadblock teams must learn how to be a monkey and quite literally go bananas.

cambodia phil

gwen stefani hollaback girl

This Roadblock is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

– PHIL: Wearing a mask and a tail that person must complete three monkey maneuvers as demonstrated by their monkey masters. If they can keep up their simian act during the maneuvers, the monkey master will hand them their next clue.

cambodia monkey 4

Wow. Culture shock.

mother 3

Monkeys are not referred in the Mother universe. A culture shock completely of their own.

– JUSTIN: When he started putting on the costume, I thought this is fantastic. Because everyone I know would love to see Zev in a tail and mask at all times.

cambodia zev justin 9

Zev disagrees.

cambodia zev glassenberg

darth maul

Zev is looking more like Darth Maul rather than a monkey.

– Lance & Keri are at the helmet shop. Their Bostonian accent is amusing in the streets of Cambodia.

– Globetrotters and Mika & Canaan travel together. Canaan notices his scarf is a different colour from the Globetrotters. No kidding.

MIKA: You’ve gotta look, Canaan.
CANAAN: I’m looking at every woman.

One of the few times your girlfriend wants to hear you say that.

– Cheyne says the scarf task was difficult because the market is confusing. He compares it to finding a needle in a haystack but that expression should only be reserved for luck-based tasks.

– Cheyne hels Brian & Ericka find stall 980. It seems like they have a loose alliance. Guess who is the third team to finish the task?

cambodia brian ericka 2

According to the edit, they have a gap of less than four seconds between when Brian & Ericka receive the scarf and identify the correct lady. I think it is dumb for producers to have some ladies positioned so close to stall 980 in a large market. I feel bad for the team who has to find a lady in stall 001.

– Big Easy spots her.

cambodia run

In the woman’s defense, I doubt she sees too many 6’9″ African-American men in the streets of Cambodia. He probably looks like Godzilla to her.

– Maria confirms with a motorcyclist if they are at the market.  Tiffany insists it is as they go inside. Globetrotters have a clue as they nearly hit the scarf lady.

cambodia woman

Fun fact: She is above the average national height for Cambodians.

– Justin tells us that Zev has the body of an eighty year old man.

cambodia zev glassenberg 2

Most eighty year old men naturally walk at that angle.

JUSTIN: Bending over on the log is not in his bag of tricks.

tony vlachos

Did someone say bag of tricks?

– Sam & Dan show up. Dan is doing the Roadblock. Justin announces their presence. Zev slips on the final maneuver a couple times as he wants Justin to stop yelling/talking to him. He claims to be in the process of passing out. Dan is done two manuevers. Zev does a Coach-like dramatic collapse.

cambodia zev glassenberg 3

Goo.

– Commercial break.

– Zev claims in a confessional that he had a mini panic attack at the time.

JUSTIN: You gotta focus up. You can do this. I know you can do this.
ZEV: Please!

Justin is such a supportive partner.

– Dan is done all three maneuvers. They read they must race through the city to find Wat Phnom. A Buddhist shrine more than six hundred years ago. It is the tallest religious structure in the city. Awesome location.

cambodia wat phnom

Looks tall enough.

– Sam & Dan get into a taxi.

CANAAN: The market was definitely, uh, unexpected.
MIKA: It was very small, hot, tight, and very crowded, and it’s just really hard.

cambodia mika canaan 8

Yes, Canaan. She really did just say all of that with a straight face.

– Maria picks up a scarf as she points the correct way for Gary & Matt to stall 980. Maria & Tiffany love their all male teams.

Wait. Maria & Tiffany want to be last women standing? This really is no different from the way they approach poker.

– MATT: Growing up on a farm, we can tell things from far away. We can instantly tell the difference between a male pheasant and a female pheasant. So we thought spotting a scarf in a sea of people would be easy.

Funny thing is that this very morning a bird ran out in front of our car that I had never seen before.

LOGAN: That looks like a turkey.
MY DAD: It’s a male pheasant.

And my dad never grew up on a farm.

cambodia gary matt 2

You don’t have a monopoly on any skills in TAR directly because of your livelihood of growing up on a farm. Especially when it involves scarves which are rarely seen in Montana.

– Lance & Keri keep attempting to sell the four helmets. For some reason the blunder music is playing. I think Keri should wear those helmets to protect herself from Lance. You never know when the lion will maul its pride.

– Speaking of Darth Maul, Zev passes the task.

cambodia zev glassenberg 4

darth maul

Bow before your master.

– Justin tells Zev to bend his knees and he succeeds. Justin reads the clue as they run off.

– Flight Time volunteers himself for the Roadblock. I wish Big Easy did this.

– Brian & Ericka are fourth to the Roadblock. Ericka is going to do this task.

cambodia culture

lol culture

cambodia monkey 5

I never thought I woulld see a TAR graphic that would display “Monkey Maneuvers”.

cambodia zev justin 10

Monkey see Zevvy sweat. . .and monkey wants us to watch Three Rivers.

– Zev plops his head down on Justin’s shoulder and wants Justin to quit yelling.

cambodia zev justin 11

O.D.’ed on potassium.

cambodia flight time

More like Simian Time & Big Easy.

Look at how much bigger Flight Time is than the Monkey Master.

And doesn’t that mask look more like a pig rather than a monkey?

cambodia unicycle

Fun fact: I saw a unicyclist riding on the streets for exercise a few weeks ago. I had never seen a unicycle on city streets before. He was not performing. It was a teen just traveling like nobody’s business. Funniest part is that it was absolute pouring rain. He picked the worst time in the past ten years during summer to ride his unicycle.

Good times.

I want the unicyclist and Terry to do TAR Cambodia together.

– Ericka and Flight Time both pass their first monkey maneuvers.

cambodia band

The band goes wild.
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.
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Wait, something is off about this band.

cambodia eminem

Yep. Seems about right.

And somebody really thought that was worthwhile to put on the net?

– Ericka does this weird thing where she rocks back and forth with her hands curling over.

cambodia ericka dunlap

Like this.

– Megan & Cheyne are in the Russian Market and find the lady with the matching scarf.

MEGAN: We have to take her back.
CHEYNE: Oh baby, yes!

Cheyne a little too excited about Cambodian women.

– Mika snaps at Canaan for moving too fast through the market. He defends that he simply wants to cover ground. Gary & Matt match scarves.

I wonder if the scarf belonged to Jackie Kennedy.

– Lance & Keri sell the helmets. Keri tells them that she wants to see them wear it. Weird. I would just take the money, give away the helmets, and run. She even yells ‘yay’ when the mother wears it.

cambodia helmet 2

Does not understand why people orgasm over helmet safety in America.

– Lance & Keri are seventh to receive their clue. They have moved up a spot.

– Sam & Dan are angry they have the slowest cab driver in all of Cambodia.

– Zev meanwhile makes monkey faces as Justin comments on the task.

cambodia zev justin 12

Uh, that’s nice Zev.

– I like how Big Easy just calls him “Flight”. Not Herb. Not Flight Time. Just “Flight”.

– Flight Time and Ericka are both done with their monkey business.

black eyed peas monkey business

– Brian & Ericka have a taxi.

– Megan is a monkey. Cheyne proclaims she is a monkey.

CHEYNE: Bend over, baby. Yes baby, that’s it. Yeah, that’s it. Stay relaxed. That’s it girl.

cambodia megan rickey

Not what either of them expected to be the context for the first time one orders the other to “bend over”.

By the way, in Pokemon X you can name your character Ben Dover. Fun fact.

CHEYNE: Megan is a monkey and a half.

Uh. Where does the half come from?

– Gary is doing the Roadblock. He finishes shortly before Megan. Gary was born to be a monkey.

– Lance & Keri open the clue. I’m sorry Lance, but your Bostonian accent makes this one of the funniest audio clips ever.

LANCE: Who’s ready to go banan-AH?!

cambodia lance keri 4

This visual will never do the audio justice.

– Megan is about to retrieve the clue. But first she must celebrate completing the Roadblock with dignity.

cambodia megan rickey 2

I bet this is exactly what Mika & Canaan need to see to take their relationship to the next level.

– Megan & Cheyne exit the Roadblock in sixth.

– Keri begins doing the Roadblock. The first task appears to be very easy.

– Maria asks locals for help.

cambodia maria ho 2

She decides to be Little Green Riding Ho.

cambodia anchor

It would be funnier if there was a boating company named Anchor Wat here.

– Tiffany finds the correct woman. Mika & Canaan spot the matching scarf too. They are eighth and last respectively, and by quite a large margin too.

– Zev & Justin pull up to the mat.

cambodia zev justin 13

Zev even wears his monkey mask onto the mat.

cambodia lady

Paula Taylor from TAR Asia 2 checks them in.

FIRST PLACE: ZEV & JUSTIN

cambodia zev justin 14

And that ladies and gentlemen is a day where the perfect taxi driver and doing reasonably well at all tasks gives you an enormous lead on the competition. They caught every lucky break possible as they could have been two hours behind if not for the waiting list miracle.

– So what do they win for this round?
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uhf nothing

Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

cambodia phil keoghan

Phil Keoghan’s smile is a big enough prize as it stands. What a bunch of BS for Zev & Justin. When is the last time a team did not receive a prize for winning the round? Like TAR 6 or 7?

cambodia zev justin 15

Although another prize is high five’ing Paula Taylor.

– Sam & Dan exit their cab and run onto the mat. Dan is wearing his mask too.

SECOND PLACE: SAM & DAN

– Phil sees Flight Time & Big Easy seconds behind.

cambodia globetrotters 5

Disco Chimp.

PHIL: Flight Time and Big Easy, you’re team number three.

Yep. CBS fined Phil five thousand dollars for calling them Herb and Nate in the previous round.

THIRD PLACE: HERB AND NATE

Aaaaand I just lost five thousand dollars.

– We go back to Zev & Justin. The last time a first place team was shown after other teams checked in was back when Mai & Oliver were on the verge of quitting. The other time involved Heather & Eve’s drive versus walking penalty which put them out of the race.

In the words of David & Jeff in TAR 4 when approaching the South Korea-North Korea border, “this can’t be right!”

JUSTIN: The ups and downs. We go from last to first to lose our passport.

cambodia zev justin 16

don't forget your passport

What did I tell you?

ZEV: When we came into the pit stop today, Phil told us we were number one. We were overcome with emotion. We were on the high of highs. We left the interview with Phil and realized my passport was missing.

cambodia zev justin 17

Justin not impressed.

cambodia justin kanew 3

Dear Russell,

The women are going to vote you out. Take this passport. Use it on yourself. Get out of Samoa. From there we will work on getting ourselves to the Final Three.

xoxo,

BFFs forever

Justin Kanew

– And now here comes the semi-staged part.

PHIL: Uh, what’s going on guys?

cambodia zev justin 18

Funny you should ask. . .

ZEV: We lost our passports.
PHIL: What happened?
ZEV: Your guess is as good as mine.

cambodia phil keoghan 2

I. . .see. . .

– Phil then pauses before breaking out into his hosting voice.

PHIL: Zev & Justin. . .you do not have your travel documents. You need those for foreign travel. Unless you find those documents, you’ll be out of the race.

cambodia zev justin 19

Back away Phil, back very far away. . .

sean penn

The wrath of Sean Penn is about to reign down upon his streets.

– Commercial break.

– We resume. Phil repeats what he just freakin’ said.

PHIL: Have you searched thoroughly through your backpacks?
JUSTIN: We haven’t checked them.
PHIL: You should check them.

cambodia zev justin 20

This is the first time I have seen Phil directly help a team. What if they find both passports in their backpacks? Phil will get all of the credit.

And hey, if things don’t work out, I hear there will be an assignment for Zev & Justin in eighteen months.

cambodia passport

One down, one to go.

cambodia passport 2

But after littering half of the temple with their belongings, it looks like that will be the extent of their success. Justin’s passport is retrieved. Zev’s is not.

PHIL: Pack up your stuff, go back out on the course, and find your documents.

PHIL (voiceover): You have to be back here with your passports before the last team arrives or you will be eliminated.

– Phil bids them good luck. Justin thinks it fell out of Zev’s pocket or it was in Justin’s black bag and came out when he pulled something out. In short, they have no clue.

cambodia zev justin 21

What a rare sighting for the TAR franchise.

– Back to the Roadblock.

LANCE: Keri, take your shoes off.
KERI: Shut up!
LANCE: You have to mimic him. You’re trying to do your own thing. Just get down and follows what he tells you to do.
KERI: Shut up!

Awesome job, Keri.

– Maria & Tiffany are at the Roadblock. Maria is doing it. Keri has two maneuvers complete.

– Zev & Justin think it might be in Terry’s cab. They borrow a security guard’s phone to contact Terry’s taxi. They get ahold of Terry and convince him to return to the pit stop. They will drive around Phnom Penh.

– Keri is done. Lance & Keri are done the task in seventh.

– Tiffany uses the word ‘monkey’ as often as possible.

– Mika & Canaan are last to the Roadblock. Canaan will be the monkey.

– Zev & Justin are reunited with Terry. Their first stop: The Roadblock.

– Tiffany coaches Maria to be monkey-like like a monkey. Maria fails the final maneuver. Tiffany tells us that Maria is not athletic nor a dancer type. So glad this is all we hear from her. She sounds like a four year old when telling Maria to be like a monkey.

cambodia band 2

Cambodians can be such blowhards.

FOURTH PLACE: BRIAN & ERICKA

cambodia brian ericka 3

Interracial high five!

Er, and really their standing is:

THIRD PLACE: BRIAN & ERICKA

– Canaan completes the Roadblock.

cambodia canaan smith 2

No more monkeying around for these racers.

– Maria & Tiffany are all that remain. Tiffany coaches Maria to not get frustrated. Maria finally finishes.

FOURTH PLACE: GARY & MATT

Gary is drenched!

cambodia gary matt 3

Maybe there was an unaired water balloon fight.

– Zev & Justin backtrack their steps.

JUSTIN: We  were running through the airport. We got in this cab. We sat in the cab. Did you hand it to me?
ZEV: I have no idea.

cambodia zev justin 22

It might just be me, but don’t you think Terry has been a little TOO helpful during this leg?

– Cheyne makes monkey noises as he does a Donkey Kong run onto the mat.

FIFTH PLACE: MEGAN & CHEYNE

– Maria is out of breath as she wishes she could have been a better monkey for her teammate. Both of them are having troubles breathing.

– Lance & Keri are at the pit stop. But not without some theatrics.

LANCE: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cambodia lance keri 5

Roundhouse!

cambodia phil keoghan 3

Why TAR has never returned to Cambodia.

cambodia lance keri 6

Look at Lance’s intimidating pose. I love how his primary goal of being on The Amazing Race is to induce Phil Keoghan into a college wrestling match or karate duel.

Phil’s response is the best.

PHIL: Oh man. You’re scaring me now.
(LANCE nods vigorously.)

SIXTH PLACE: LANCE & KERI

– Now to the depths of despair. Zev thinks they would have won.

cambodia zev justin 23

Perhaps describing your passport as a little piece of paper may be the reason why you lost it.

SEVENTH PLACE: MIKA & CANAAN

– Maria & Tiffany slowly walk onto the mat.

PHIL: Maria & Tiffany you’re the last team to arrive.
TIFFANY (like a pig): No, Phil!

cambodia maria tiffany

So painful.

TIFFANY: And?
PHIL: . . However, one team arrived at the mat without their travel documents. That means you are both still in the race.

cambodia phil keoghan 4

Even Phil himself is in disbelief. A team has come in dead last on two out of four rounds but survives once due to an unprecedented opening non-elimination round, and now the first time that a team finishing above last is the one that loses their passport.

TIFFANY: I wish we had this much luck in real life. We’d be billionaires.

cambodia maria tiffany 2

Maria is temporarily stunned.

cambodia maria tiffany 3

Shut your mouth, Tiffany. This is exactly what you wanted. The team you hated is being eliminated despite all of the viewers’ wishes.

– Justin blames himself for the error because he is prone to carelessness. He starts crying.

JUSTIN: I feel like I let him down.
ZEV: Nah. No letdowns. Just a freak thing that happened. We don’t know why, we don’t deserve it. Nobody deserved it.* It just happened.

cambodia zev justin 24

Zev just pwned that confessional. Just his expression of ‘nah, you’re wrong’ is what kills it.

cambodia zev justin 25

They wear their best Becky Lee expressions.

JUSTIN: No matter what happens, I love you man.
ZEV: I love you too. Awe.
PHIL: Any ideas where this passport is?
ZEV: No.
JUSTIN (quietly): I understand you’ve gotta do what you gotta do.

– They return to Phil. Both of them are eliminated. Both are disappointed but had a great run. Phil points out how good of a friend Justin is.

– Zev has learned that he no longer has to lock into a daily routine. Their friendship is stronger too and Justin said it will be an experience he shall never forget.

What a rough way to go out.

cambodia zev justin 26

They lost their passport after finishing first and lost to Maria & Tiffany? Somebody took our Blunder Crown? Ha ha!

guilin margie 4

Zev has Asperger’s and she’s LAUGHING AT HIM! And that’s just rude!

Next Time on TAR: Teams travel to Dubai and face extreme heights which frightens Mika, extreme speed, extreme heat, and a winter wonderland.

*Except Maria & Tiffany.

cambodia sam dan mcmillen 2

We’ll never know what Sam & Dan won for this round.
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Okay, they won a pair of motorcycles. Thanks, Wikipedia!

CONFESSIONAL COUNT

BRIAN.ERICKA 1.0
LANCE.KERI 4.1
MARIA.TIFFANY 2.2
ZEV.JUSTIN 7.10
MIKA.CANAAN 3.6
FLIGHT TIME.BIG EASY 3.2
SAM.DAN 0.1
GARY.MATT 2.0
MEGAN.CHEYNE 0.2

Team Averages

Bulls— Round One/Starting Line Eliminations
Eric & Lisa N/A
Bilal & Sa’eed N/A

— F minus–
12th Debra & Steve 12.0
12th Gina & Sylvia 12.0
11th Preston & Jennifer 11.0
11th Anita & Arthur 11.0
11th Ari & Staella 11.0
11th John Vito & Jill All Stars 11.0
11th Vipul & Arti 11.0
11th John & Scott 11.0
11th Ryan & Chuck 11.0
11th Team Seinfeld/Avi & Joe 11.0
11th Dennis & Erika 11.0
11th Deidre & Hilary 11.0
11th Matt & Ana 11.0
10th Edwin & Monica 10.0 (Only team to finish last for the first two rounds of the race.)
10th Neena & Amit 10.0
10th Lisa & Joni 10.0
10th Kevin & Drew All Stars 10.0
10th A Black Family 10.0
— F +–
10th Anthony & Stephanie 9.5 (Why them?????)
10th Megan & Heidi 9.5 (Wow. They sucked.)
11th Garrett & Jessica 9.5
10th Kate & Pat 9.0
9th David & Mary All Stars 9.0
9th Peggy & Claire 9.0
10th Meredith & Maria 9.0
10th Dennis & Andrew 9.0 FF
9th Marianna & Julia 8.33
10th Russell & Cindy 8.33
8th Don & Mary Jean 8.2
10th Kellie & Jamie 8.0
10th Kim & Leslie 8.0
8th Danielle & Dani 7.8 – Yielded
8th Marisa & Brooke 7.75 – Sucked.
9th Marcy & Ron 7.67 – Bald.
9th Isaac & William 7.5
9th Jim & Marsha 7.33
8th Aiello Family 7.0
8th Singaporean Sophie & French Born Aurelia 7.0 (French Born Aurelia sadly does not know the English words for ‘team averages’. :/)
–D minus–
8th Tom & Terry 7.0
8th Dave & Margaretta 7.0 R.I.P. Margaretta
9th Lena & Kristy 7.0
10th Hope & Norm 7.0
7th Niroo & Kapil 6.75
9th Rogers Family 6.5
8th Susan & Patrick 6.5
6th Henry & Terri 6.44 Used Their Yield; Finished last on a non-elimination round THREE times. R.I.P. Henry.
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43
9th Brett & Kinar 6.33
8th Pailin & Natalie 6.33
9th Wanda & Desiree 6.25
7th Aja & Cabbie 6.2
7th Paul & Amie 6.2
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF
6th David &Mary 6.13 FF
–D+–
9th Zev & Justin 6.0 Passport lost.
10th Ernie & Jeena 6.0
11th Amanda & Chris 6.0
6th Andre & Damon 5.86
7th Daichi & Sawaka 5.83
7th Dave & Lori 5.83
5th Kami & Karli 5.8
8th Michael & Kathy 5.8
7th Cyndi & Russell 5.8
7th Shana & Jennifer 5.8 Used U-Turn
9th Heather & Eve 5.75
5th Nancy & Emily 5.67 R.I.P. Nancy.
6th Gaghan Family 5.5
10th Alison & Donny 5.5
6th Tian & Jaree 5.43 FF
8th Sahil & Prashant 5.4 FF
–C minus–
4th Meredith & Gretchen 5.36
7th Monica & Sheree 5.33 FF
7th Marshall & Lance 5.33
9th Debbie & Bianca 5.33
7th Gus & Hera 5.29
6th Joe & Bill All Stars 5.25
8th Bob & Joyce 5.25
8th Lorena & Jason 5.25 U-Turned
3rd Andrew & Dan 5.18
7th Silver & Gold 5.17
6th Kelly & Christy 5.14
7th Ray & Deana – 5.0 FF
7th Melody & Sharon 5.0
9th Steve & Josh 5.0 – FF
9th Pat & Brenda 5.0 – FF
9th Mark & Bill 5.0 – Wah.
5th Fran & Barry 4.89
6th Howard & Sahran 4.88
–C + —
3rd Lyn & Karlyn 4.85 – Yielded
5th John Vito & Jill 4.8 – FF
6th Mai & Oliver 4.8 – In a car
7th Teri & Ian All Stars 4.83
7th Schroeder Family 4.75
6th Lake & Michelle 4.71 – Used Yield
6th Brian & Greg 4.71
5th Erwin & Godwin 4.70
3rd Adam & Rebecca 4.69 FF and Used Yield and Yielded
9th Duke & Lauren 4.67
5th Lori & Bolo 4.6 – FF
2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF
5th Paula & Natasha 4.45
5th Uchenna & Joyce All Stars 4.33 – FF
8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF
–B minus–
3rd Ray & Yolanda 4.23
3rd Nicolas & Donald 4.18 FF and U-Turned
4th Linda & Karen 4.17
3rd Charla & Mirna All Stars 4.15
6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.)
5th Paolo Family 4.13 FF and Used Yield
5th Lynn & Alex 4.11
5th Andy & Laura 4.00 – Yielded
3rd David & Jeff 4.00 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny 4.00 – FF
2nd Pamela & Vanessa 3.92
4th A.D. & Fuzzie 3.90 – U-Turned
5th Gary & Dave 3.89 – FF
2nd Kelly & Jon 3.85
1st Zabrina & Joe Jer 3.77
2nd Sandy & Francesca 3.77 – Used Yield
4th Diane & Ann 3.75 – Yielded
4th Jon & Al 3.73
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71
–B+–
3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF
5th Kynt & Vyxsin 3.63 Used Yield
1st Eric & Danielle All Stars 3.62 – Yielded Twice
4th Mardy & Marsio 3.58 FF
6th Jonathan & Victoria 3.56
3rd Ida & Tania 3.54
4th Joseph & Monica 3.50 – Yielded
3rd Andrew & Syeon 3.46
1st Freddy & Kendra 3.46 – Used Yield and Yielded
2nd Ronald & Christina 3.45
4th Nathan & Jennifer 3.40 – Never finished in 1st
1st Chris & Alex 3.38 – FF
1st Chip & Kim 3.38 – Used Yield
4th Kevin & Drew 3.36 – FF
3rd Brandon & Nicole 3.31
5th Terence & Sarah 3.25
1st TK & Rachel 3.18
4th Godlewski Family 3.18
4th Dustin & Kandice 3.17 – Used Yield
–A minus–
7th Peter & Sarah 3.17
9th Aubrey & Jacqueline 3.17
3rd Weaver Family 3.15 – Yielded Twice
1st Reichen & DK 3.15 – FF
1st Uchenna & Joyce 3.15 FF
4thToni & Dallas 3.10 Still in Russia
4th Derek & Drew 3.10 – FF
2nd Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 – Used Yield and U-Turn
2nd Rob & Kim 3.08 – FF
3rd Ron & Kelly 3.00 – Yielded
6th Azaria & Hendekea 3.00
4th Hayden & Aaron 2.92
2nd Dustin & Kandice All Stars 2.92 – Used Yield
2nd Bransen Family 2.85
1st Linz Family 2.77 – Used Yield
3rd Joe & Bill 2.76 – FF
–BEST OF THE BEST–
5th Henry & Bernie/Bunn-Eh 2.75 – Yielded
8th Rob & Amber All Stars 2.75 – Used Yield
1st Flo & Zach 2.69 – FF
3rd Ken & Gerard 2.69 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny All Stars 2.67 FF x2 and Used Yield
2nd Ken & Tina 2.64 FF
2nd Colin & Christie 2.54 – FF and Yielded
2nd Tara & Wil 2.53 – FF
1st Rob & Brennan – 2.46 FF
1st BJ & Tyler – 2.46 FF and Used Yield
1st Vince & Sam 2.45 FF
1st Nick & Starr 2.45 FF
1st Tyler & James – 2.38 FF
2nd Frank & Margarita 2.38 – FF
2nd Kris & Jon 2.38
2nd Rob & Amber 2.31
1st Adrian & Collin 2.23 FF
2nd Eric & Jeremy 1.69 FF
lol 3rd Marc & Rovilson 1.46 Used Yield and Yielded

Combined Team Averages (Repeats Only)

11 legs David & Mary 6.91 FF
11 legs John Vito & Jill 5.36 FF
18 legs Danielle 4.78
19 legs Teri & Ian 4.63 FF
13 legs Kevin & Drew 4.38 FF
20 legs Charla & Mirna 4.00 None
21 legs Joe & Bill 3.71 FF
22 legs Uchenna & Joyce 3.64 FF x2
*31 legs Eric & Danielle 3.48 FF
23 legs Oswald & Danny 3.30 FF x3!
25 legs Dustin & Kandice 3.04 None
26 legs Eric 2.65 FF
17 legs Rob & Amber 2.41 None

* I determined Eric & Danielle’s average in this last section by adding up all of their individual points from TAR 9, then adding up their total points in All Stars and dividing it by 31.

Rank the Legs

1) Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam -> Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Where to begin with this round?

I am not sure how much production intervened to ensure all nine teams were on the same flight, but hey, sometimes you have to give them benefit of the doubt, right?

Cambodia is a rare location for the series, so visiting a place like Cambodia earns big points right there.

Two unique clues were also used in this episode. The opening made teams speak in a whisper like a 1970s foreign journalist as they entered a cafe to receive their next  clue. The costumes the journalists wore were amusing. So was Canaan’s refusal to initially read the clue.

The following clue being a picture of Jacqueline Kennedy which also is hanging at her suite on the opposite side of town was really creative. I thought that was really neat.

The Detour of Matching Scarves Like TAR Asia 3’s Handbags versus Selling Helmets to a Family of Four seemed relatively easy. But hey, the leaderboard did shift which means teams were better at it than others.

Although Brian & Ericka got freakin’ lucky.

The monkey Roadblock was really easy for the first two maneuvers, but the final one was difficult enough to shake up the leaderboard a bit too. I just think the first two tasks took a total of thirty seconds to complete. I wish it was five to ten maneuvers. Perhaps the scorching heat that day is what discouraged producers from pushing them.

The pit stop location was neat too, and interactions with taxi drivers and locals were fun.

Then the huge blunder for the leg. Zev & Justin rallied from dead last to make the first flight thanks to standby tickets. They were first to clear Customs, and hail the best taxi driver in TAR for years.

Everything went smoothly for the rest of the day minus Zev’s Roadblock performance, but the taxi driver made up a ton of time and arrived at the pit stop first.

Once there, and undoubtedly told about the prizes they won off-screen, Zev & Justin only find one of two passports. It was depressing to see the most well-liked team (unless you count Maria & Tiffany’s perspective) kick absolute butt on that leg, but find out they made a bigger blunder than Toni & Dallas.

Keep in mind Dallas lost their passports and money in TAR 13, but he was choking so much at each task that I can guarantee you him and Toni would have been eliminated no matter what.

In Zev & Justin’s case, I was expecting them to hit Final Three or Final Four of this season, but Justin misplacing crucial items for the second time in three rounds led to their elimination.

Cambodia has not been re-visited since despite being a great location in TAR 13 and 15.

P.S. Who can forget monkeys, unicycles, the band, and Lance challenging Phil to a fight after him and Keri missed ANOTHER clue?

2) Cai Be, Vietnam -> Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

No equalizers. They started out the day by traveling a couple hours via taxi to Ho Chi Minh City. The chaotic nature of Ho Chi Minh City and its ties to American history on an American program is always neat to see.

The Teri & Ian moment for this season came through Marcy whose experience became a side story for this round. Perhaps if she made it further her and Ron would have had a more dynamic edit.

The tasks were fine. Disassembling VCRs saw a shift in the leaderboard which means there was some skill to it. Same with the Child’s Play Detour with hauling the heavy animals across a few blocks to collect balloons.

Lance & Keri have officially taken the crown from Fran & Barry. Like, Lance & Keri missed the post office clue, the pit stop, lost on the way to the Roadblock, the lady holding the clue at the end of the Detour, and MISSED THE CLUE THEY WERE HOLDING IN THEIR HANDS!!!

Never before has a team screwed up on every single route marker during the leg.

And somehow they still survived.

The locations were fun. The interaction with locals was necessary after ignoring locals for the first two rounds. Doing a labour related task within the community was great.

I have no complaints about this round except why Marcy & Ron were silly enough to choose Word Play which looked really tough on paper.

The premiere was awful. The second round was passable. But this round? Now we are finally back on track with what Amazing Race is supposed to be like.

P.S. I enjoyed the uniqueness of grabbing the bullet from a dragon’s mouth, needing to open the bullet, and seeing the picture of the post office inside. I thought that was a nice way to start the round.

3) Tokyo, Japan -> Cai Be, Vietnam

Producers must have known it was going to be a two-hour two round season premiere beforehand, because there are very few tasks this round.

Placing mud against fruit trees, walking to a farmer’s festival to herd ducks, and walking to the pit stop were the only things they did.

Yes, there was a flight and bus scramble, but none of that mattered as all teams were on the same plane and all teams were equalized at the docks.

The best part about this round is that editors went back to traditional TAR 1 style of editing. There were few tasks, and were crammed into the end of the episode. Their focus was instead on ten of the eleven teams. I say ten because Marcy & Ron were rarely shown for the whole episode.

A surprising amount of focus was on Maria & Tiffany and Sam & Dan. The Globetrotters may go on to play three times, but they were really near the bottom for airtime. Zev & Justin stole the show for their rollercoaster ride as Justin choked with losing the clue but Zev not only gave away his jacket to a stranger but made up a ton of time at the duck herding task.

Maria & Tiffany could have been the first team in TAR history to play two rounds of TAR and finish with a 11.0 average, but the Roadblock being a duck herding task which Tiffany did when she was a kid may be the biggest miracle they could have hoped for.

We learn about Tiffany’s identity because, well, she flat out revealed it to a stranger with teams within earshot, and made the episode about her. God she’s so selfish.

Oh, and the Speed Bump was super easy as usual. People have been complaining that the Country Singers had it too easy with Speed Bumps in TAR 24, but viewers forget that easy Speed Bumps date all the way back to TAR 15. Serving soup or transporting a typewriter?

Even with the faults of this round, it was still ten times the first round. Because instead of it being a cheap game show, this round truly felt like we were watching The Amazing Race.

Oh, and Garrett & Jessica were eliminated. How tragic.

4) Los Angeles, USA -> Tokyo, Japan

Oh god. Where to begin? The design for this round is worse than I remembered. I fully understand now why I quit watching TAR until TAR 20 after this episode aired.

Nothing makes sense. I know this world cannot function without a few idiots in the mix, but did all of them need to be working on the design for The Amazing Race 15?

Every decision they made needs to be followed by a chorus of “Why?!”

Why did they need to eliminate the first team at the starting line?

Why did we need a task at the starting line? What does searching for license plates have to do with the city of Los Angeles or Tokyo?

Why not let teams drive to LAX and determine their own order for flights?

Why do a task at the starting line when you can only do two tasks in Japan?

When the starting line task is essentially in a studio, why did we need the Tokyo task to be in a studio too? What does a game show inside of  a Japanese studio have to do with Japanese culture?

Why make it an equalizer at the Roadblock to negate any reason for putting teams on separate flights?

Why make it a randomized order of who eats the wasabi rolls rather than the order of when they arrived?

Why have those unique graphics that make it look like they are meant for a Nickelodeon or YTV game show?

Why have the pit stop immediately after the Roadblock?

Why couldn’t Maria & Tiffany keep track of their tourists?

Why have a non-elimination in a round where you eliminated somebody at the starting line? That is extraordinarily insulting to Eric & Lisa.

What a waste for an awesome location like Tokyo.

I will go on record to say that this is the worst leg design in the history of The Amazing Race. It was awful from start to finish.

P.S. Not only did Eric & Lisa skip out on Elimination Station, but they also refused to be at the Finish Line. It was their stance against putting up with this awful twist which prevented it from appearing ever again.

Rank the Teams

1) Zev & Justin

2nd to 5th to 8th to 9th over the course of four rounds? Are they really all around weak racers?

No, because that ninth place finish when they are eliminated is a bit misleading.

Zev & Justin did quite well all season. The reason they finished eighth because Justin lost a ton of time when he forgot their route info. The reason they finished ninth is because they lost their passport after WINNING THE ROUND!

This is one of the biggest elimination blunders ever. You could say it ranks right up there with Heather & Eve taking a taxi instead of walking to put themselves out of the race.

I would say Kisha & Jen are number two, but given what Jen did, I would say they are number one.

Toni & Dallas, as I have stated earlier, were doomed to finish last in Russia regardless of being the first to lose their passports. Zev & Justin? They had already won the round when they figured it out, and were well on their way to being in the thick of it with competition.

Zev being the first mildly autistic racer was given the Luke treatment at times, but we did get a feel for him having an all around personality rather than CBS exploiting it. And Justin definitely did not come anywhere close to act like Enabler Margie.

Zev & Justin’s friendship may be one of the most endearing ones to be showcased in the twenty-four seasons of TAR.

It was tough ranking them ahead of Garrett & Jessica, but I feel like I made the right choice.

2) Eric & Lisa

Perhaps the only team from California this season that may have been cast as mactors, but had a worthy enough personality that you can understand why they have been cast.

You can see they thought being eliminated was as dumb as we all assessed it to be too.

I can only imagine how they watched from home seeing teams get approved by luck alone. . .and see a team be saved by non-elimination in the very first round.

If only they could have been numero freakin’ uno. They join Bilal & Sa’eed in the Super Duper Screwed teams in TAR history. Both teams would have been interesting to see go further, and both were robbed of a journey they worked so hard for.

Oh well.

3) Marcy & Ron

Not as great as the potential of Eric & Lisa, but heck, a monkey could get a higher ranking than Garrett & Jessica at this point.

Editors did not pay much attention to them. Ron was bald and Marcy was fearless for round one. In round two they were ignored. In round three we learned Marcy’s dad was a Vietnam vet. And considering they were eliminated at the site of where the Vietnam War ended, their elimination was practically tailor made. A bit spooky considering this will be the third of only four visits in twenty-two seasons of TAR, and the only one to go to the Reunification Palace.

Marcy was funky and fun. You can tell she is wound up with high energy. Ron’s face never recovered from being slapped with the clue. I also love how Ron ignored her ninety-nine percent of the time.

They were not long for the race given they finished really low in rounds one and two. The whistle did not help them.

Why they chose to do a really tough Detour (Word Play) while all other nine teams chose the other one (Child’s Play) is beyond me. The route info for Word Play had to be three times as long.

But hey, as long as they had a great bald time, right? Ron’s old cap should be proud.

4) Garrett & Jessica

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

That’s what you would be saying if it were not for my blog. I tried my best to make Garrett & Jessica entertaining for you. The most electrifying team in reality entertainment, Jessica as Colombiana, and Garrett’s Undertaker eyes.

They could not be a more boring team. Okay, maybe not as boring as Kris & Jon from The Amazing Race 14. . .wait, is that their real names? Ah, fudge it.

If I were a producer, these two would never be cast. Garrett sucks the energy out of a confessional. Jessica is not a great speaker either. If I was the person interviewing them in casting and after both pit stops, I would question my reason for living. I would beg to interview any other team.

Heck, I would beg to interview a blade of grass. I would hate to know who was the 13th team cut in favour of Garrett & Jessica to be on the show.

Garrett proposes to Jessica at Elimination Station. You can tell how healthy that marriage turned out.

In any event, you’re welcome, Garrett & Jessica. Because if it were not for me, nobody on the planet would remember you on The Amazing Race.

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