The Amazing Race Asia 3 episode seven ranking

Seventh episode

“Macau–The City of Yields”

How many food challenges does this season need? They ate baked scorpions and beetles in round one, they ate stinky tofu in round four, and last round they had to eat up to three hundred fortune cookies.

That is terrible. I would hate to do that many disgusting food eating tasks on The Amazing Race Asia. What type of producers would make you eat that much food against your will?

weird al eat it

Don’t you know models in Thailand are starving so. . .eat it!

thailand natalie pailin intro 3

weird al eat it 2

Just eat it! Don’t care if your stinky tofu gets cold, re-heat it!

taiwan stinky tofu

weird al eat it 3

Open your mouth Kapil, and eat it! I don’t care if your key got stuck and in the transmission it’s jammed! Don’t make me repeat it!

taiwan niroo 3

weird al eat it 4
Even if you puke out the scorpions, you can’t send it back!

thailand kapil asrani

Eat it!

– And welcome to the second half of The Amazing Race Asia 3. Five teams remain as we have two more non-eliminations to go in the next four episodes before we reach the season finale. Last episode was a non-elimination where Ida & Tania’s funds were taken away. We assume this was done because Marked for Elimination only occurs in TAR Asia if the very next episode is an elimination.

The five teams remaining are by far the most able teams that are apart of this season’s cast. Virtually every team eliminated with the exception of Mai & Oliver have been fodder.

Especially Isaac & William. Most boring team ever?

COUNTRIES VISITED

THAILAND – VIETNAM – TAIWAN – CHINA – INDIA – OMAN

Previously on TAR: Five teams set out from Taipei, Taiwan and flew to Hong Kong.

fei long

The home of Fei Long.

– In Hong Kong, A.D. & Fuzzie continued to amble through the race. At the Detour, Henry chose to gut fish while the other teams preferred to bite through hundreds of fortune cookies. Matching handbags at a market was a challenging task for Sam in his hometown, but they were first to the pit stop again.

Ida & Tania were unable to make up for lost time in the previous leg and were last to the pit stop. They were saved from elimination but had all of their money taken away from them.

– Five teams remain; who will be eliminated next?

– Intro time. Wow. We went from a five minute recap down to fifty-eight seconds. They must have some interesting footage to show this round.

– We are introduced to Hong Kong. Sam & Vince, who were the first to arrive at 5:47pm, will depart at 5:47am. Oh, it is charity time again!

macau vince sam

Sam & Vince have a present for Ida & Tania!

VINCE: Ida & Tania, we know you’re down on luck right now so we’re going to donate.
macau vince sam 2

100 Hong Kong Dollars courtesy of Standard Chartered! Where did the money come from? Teams only receive US dollars at the start of each leg. I assume they exchanged for it at airports, or Standard Chartered needed that advertising spot.

One day I wish a team would leave Monopoly money for a team who was saved by a non-elimination in the mugging format.

– Vince & Sam read that they must take a taxi to the Mong Kok Goldfish Market. Once there they must collect two goldfish. Then they will deliver their fish to an aquarium to receive their next clue.

macau woman

Plastic bags courtesy of Standard Chartered.

And we go from Chinese Junk to a place called Mong Kok? How much innuendo can we cram into two rounds?

– Sam says they are not feeling too comfortable with their position and feel threatened by all other teams. They have their goldfish.

macau vince sam 3

Sam having too much fun with the goldfish.

-They show up to the aquarium. The goldfish are about to go through a painful experience.
macau hours

Yep. They will be sitting in a plastic bag for a while.

VINCE & SAM: Eight hours to kill!

Huh?

macau hours
macau vince sam 4

Either production is lying like it is TAR Asia 2 all over again or Asians are bad at math after all.

Therefore, the former must be true.

– Vince & Sam claim they did not sleep earlier at the pit stop. 6:53am is here which means Henry & Bernie depart second. Henry recaps that every team has strengths and weaknesses. Bernie believes her relationship with Henry has improved because they can read each other’s minds.

Developing telepathy around leg seven? Sounds about right.

– Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 commence in third at 7:12am. Geoff 26 pulls a page out of the abusive/unappreciative boyfriend scriptof “I know Tisha 31 doesn’t deserve to be treated like that,” blah blah blah.

Tisha 31’s modesty goes out the window when she says “I -know- I don’t deserve it. So. . .I’m waiting for him to change.”

– Geoff 26 asks the driver what the speed limit is. The driver says 50. Geoff 26 says he is doing a good job of driving.

GEOFF 26: Sorry to be annoying. . .but I was born this way.

lady gaga

macau geoff tisha

GEOFF 26: The first heterosexual man to quote a Lady Gaga song on The Amazing Race.

– A.D. & Fuzzie start in fourth at 7:24am. Fuzzie says his racing philosophy is continuing as he is not racing for first but rather fighting to survive the round. Henry & Bernie pick up their fish and do a zoom-in of the Standard Chartered cash to pay their taxi.

macau cash

This was definitely re-shot after the fact. Otherwise the camera operator must not find taxi drivers or Henry & Bernie to be entertaining at all.

– A.D. & Fuzzie are third to the fish. Fuzzie is not interested in the fish because he cannot eat it. Henry & Bernie show up to the aquarium. They sit along the building’s wall. Bernie yells at Henry for shaking the bag and traumatizing the fish.

macau henry bernie

Bernie has never failed at giving lip service to PETA.

– Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 have slipped as they are just collecting the fish. Geoff 26 repeats multiple times for Tisha 31 to powerwalk to their taxi. A.D. & Fuzzie join Henry & Bernie. Henry jokes that Fuzzie’s bag is leaking. Vince & Sam show up about something costing one hundred dollars. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31join the powwow.

– Ida & Tania depart last at 9:57am. My guess is that last round took no more than four hours for each team to complete once in Hong Kong. Ida reveals that each team gave them one hundred Hong Kong dollars each for a total of three hundred dollars. We assume Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 did not donate.

macau wiki

Huh. Whatdoyaknow. Hong Kong dollar really is the currency for Hong Kong.

TANIA: Only one team did not give us money, but that’s okay.

Yeah. It had to be Geoff 26 & Tisha 31.

andrew big brother canada

Or this guy.

– Ida & Tania say they have no money and that they will figure out a way to get some cash.

Uhhhhhh. . .you have three hundred Hong Kong dollars if I am not mistaken.

macau ida tania

They waste no time begging a lady for money. Look at the blockade they have surrounding her. Sound operator behind the lady, camera operator to the right, Ida in front of her, and Tania to the left. They are ready to pounce.

– We see a montage of them collecting money.

IDA: I don’t think half of them knew what we were going on about.

The plan works well.
macau ida tania 2

A little too well.

– Tania said that they ended up with more money than what all of the other teams were given for this leg of the race.

– The aquarium opens. A Hong Kong Hippie hands them the clue.

macau aquarium

For the first time in the aquarium’s history, eight people stand outside of its doors all night bearing bags of goldfish to give away.

macau hippie

I would be amazed if this guy was capable of being awake before eleven to open a store.

SAM: Travel by ferry to Macau. Knew it.

No you didn’t. You clearly didn’t. Not once did you say last round “Oh, I bet we will be traveling to Macau by ferry”. You’re a f—ing liar, Sam.

macau henry bernie 2

Henry is a bit too excited for Macau.

– They read they must travel by ferry to Macau. Once there they must travel by pettycab to the fountain in Senado Square where they will receive their next clue.

macau cow

That’s muh cow.

method man redman
Method Man and Redman love visiting Ma-CAU!

– Vince & Sam think it will be faster to walk. Everybody else gets into a taxi. Vince explains that cabs do not necessarily mean you get ahead.

hong kong population

It’s tough to get anywhere in a place with over seven million people.

– They say running from the aquarium to getting on the ferry took only fifteen minutes.

– Ida & Tania nearly get run over crossing the street with their newly collected goldfish. The other three teams are on an 11:35am ferry. Tisha 31 notices an 11:30am ferry. Geoff 26 swaps tickets with a random guy to be on the 11:30am.

GEOFF 26: See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

– Henry & Bernie and A.D. & Fuzzie see Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 boarding an 11:30am ferry.
macau local

I bet the local only agreed to Geoff 26 & Tisha 31’s request because of the camera staring back at him. If I were him, I would hope it would be a Good Samaritan Gameshow and win free tickets. Plus a five minute difference is not really going to ruin my day.

macau ferry

These ferries have a difficult time sticking to a schedule.

– Geoff 26 doesn’t want to gloat, but Tisha 31 answers “yeah, right”. Geoff 26 repeats to the camera that he REALLY turned it on. Yeah, a whole five minute advantage.

colin christie

You would think he was Colin & Christie finding a 2:35am Air France flight while everyone gets in at 2:25pm or later.

– Commercial.

– We resume as teams get on their respective ferries. Geoff 26’s other reason for getting on the 11:30am ferry?
macau geoff tisha 2

What do you mean? You race on your own. Other racers cannot affect you.

– Ida & Tania show up to the aquarium. They make the mistake of taking a taxi, although Tania claims her bag is too heavy to walk.

– Sam & Vince are in Macau. They hire a pettycab. Geoff 26 claps his hands to hail a pettycab of his own.

macau pettycab

I love the hat. It makes him look twenty years older.
macau pettycab 2

And what’s the point of this camera angle? Do we have to watch his feet use the pedals?

– Vince & Sam have the next clue. They read that they must head to Macau Tower and search the grounds for their next clue. Caution. . .

macau yield

Wuield ahead!

Even though TAR 12 had aired on TV months before TAR Asia 3 began filming, TAR Asia 3 has kept the Yield twist. This trend will apply to this same production crew when they end the Asia franchise and relocate to Australia. We have seen nothing but U-Turns for the past thirteen seasons in the American franchise, but the Yield is very much alive in the Asia and Australia franchise.

ALLAN: This is the first Yield on the entire race.

Yes, this will be the only one too. Two episodes ago they said the same thing for the Fast Forward as it being “the first one of the season”. Why not just say it is the only one? There is no need for them to be a Twist Twease.

twistos twease

This is the Twistos Twease of the Season.

– Do I really need to tell you how the Yield works? You yield a team and they flip an hourglass as they must wait for the sand to run out.

– Vince & Sam have a team in mind for who they want to Yield, but refuse to say the name aloud to the camera. They say it would not be advantageous to yield them yet.

– Did you know Natalie, Tisha 31, and Sam Wu are all Canadians?

– Ida & Tania make it to the boat after running around frantically. Tania maintains the sexiest pose I have ever seen.

macau tania

That’s not how you sit in a chair. . .

– Henry & Bernie and A.D. & Fuzzie hire pettycabs in Macau. Neither of them are in a hurry.

macau driver

Why models are not pettycab drivers.

– Vince & Sam step onto the Yield mat.

macau vince sam 5

Showing off that they are still number one.

– They choose not to Yield and open the clue. It’s a Roadblock.

VINCE: Who wants to climb the ladder of success?

– Macau Tower. Remember this from TAR All Stars when it was used as the biggest and baddest jump in The Amazing Race history?

skyjump

macau allan wu

You know what we want, Allan. Don’t fight it.

macau tower tall

We’re ready to see racers fly, right?
macau climb

Psyche! You can only climb it. You have to climb to the very top to receive your next clue, and take the long way down.

twistos twease 2

I was not expecting a Twistos Twease again so soon!

– Vince volunteers to do the Roadblock. I really hope Fuzzie is doing this Roadblock. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 open the clue to a crowd applauding their arrival. They must be TAR fans. Geoff 26 cheers along with the audience.

macau fountain

It is not every day they get to see cyborgs in Macau.

– Geoff 26 attaches a note to the clue box. It is money he is leaving for Ida & Tania. If this were round two or three, Geoff 26 would never do anything to help them, but now he has turned around his opinion of them.

macau note

Little does he know that Ida & Tania currently have more money than any other team in the race.

– Geoff 26 hopes that Vince & Sam have yielded a team other than them. Vince grabs a number. He is taking the elevator to a higher floor before he has to use the ladder. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 grab the Yield number. What will they do?

– This is the exact same location in TAR 11: All Stars where a Yield was located. So who did Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 yield?

macau eric danielle

eric danielle yield

eric scream

ERIC: WE GOT YIELDED AGAIN?! YOU GUYS ARE PIECES OF S—!

eric finger

ERIC: Hey Cyborgs, I got somethin for ya!

– Just kidding. Eric & Danielle weren’t Yielded in Macau again.
macau henry bernie yield

Bernie never failed at not being yielded.

– Tisha 31 apologizes but feels Henry & Bernie would have yielded them. Geoff 26 feels other teams are stacking up on him. He then does something very un-cyborg like.

macau geoff tisha 5
“Get off my sister!”

I didn’t know cyborgs could be bisexual.

– Geoff 26 starts swinging his hips and waving his arm when Tisha 31 reads the clue.

macau geoff tisha 6

I love how Tisha 31’s first instinct is to look away.

GEOFF 26 (in Lady Gaga voice): I’m climbing in Macauuuuuu!

Yeah, he added lyrics to his five second dance as well. Tisha 31 does not crack a smile nor acknowledge what occurred. Great. It may be a contender for the worst dance in TAR history.

tramel

Yes Tramel, your record will never be broken.

jaime cara intro 2

You would think Geoff 26 was trying to challenge Jaime & Cara to a Cheer Off.

– Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 inform Vince & Sam that they made the decision to Yield. The four of them celebrate. Tisha 31 awaits being ganged upon in the waiting area.

macau geoff
GEOFF 26: It’s raining too. Wouldn’t you hate to be sitting in the rain while you’re being yielded?
macau geoff 2

GEOFF 26: F—!

A F-bomb being dropped as he does that stupid dance move? That has to be the two most random things to occur simultaneously in the history of The Amazing Race. I wonder if he snorted cocaine at the pit stop courtesy of Standard Chartered because Geoff 26 is maximizing his randomness.

– Henry & Bernie and A.D. & Fuzzie both have the fountain clue. They do not sound too enthusiastic when they read about the Yield. Meanwhile Vince and Geoff 26 continue the climb.

macau vince

sahran cry

A Roadblock not designed for Sahran.

– Sam was not aware of Vince’s phobia of heights and is proud of him. A.D. & Fuzzie stroll onto the mat. They see who is Yielded.

A.D.: Oh. Yikes-ee!
FUZZIE: . . .This is going to be interesting.

So non-chalant of them.

– Henry & Bernie show up to the Yield mat.

HENRY: I knew it. Geoff & Tish of course.

Uh, again, no. You didn’t know it.

HENRY: Being yielded by Geoff & Tish hurt a bit more because he is so fake. The Yield was the excuse I need to not be pleasant anymore.

macau henry

Henry using his deluxe drawing skills. I think you can guess what he is doing.

macau tisha

Tishstache.

macau geoff 3

He has a bluenose like the boat.

It would have been much funnier if they drew genitalia touching each of their mouths. Although I think that is why they switched to electronic boards in recent years.

U-Turns prevented teams to have any spare time to doodle on a team’s face. Furthermore, Blind U-Turns made it downright impossible to know who to insult. Why oh why must races be less mean-spirited?

BERNIE: I am stronger than she is.
HENRY: And I am much smarter than he is.
macau henry bernie 3

They really get absorbed by their own egos, eh?

– Geoff 26 admits he is getting scared once the climb becomes outdoors.

macau geoff tisha 4

Geoff 26 may not find much peace after using the Yield.

– Fuzzie is doing the Roadblock. Yes! He comes up with the greatest analogy ever.

macau ad fuzzie

FUZZIE: My heart is beating. . .faster than it normally does.

So poetic.

– Henry & Bernie’s hourglass has run out. Bernie is going to do it. Oh god. Fuzzie is doing the Roadblock. He starts breathing heavily. Vince reunites with Sam. He reads they must head to the Dragon Boat Pier. Once there they must paddle around a buoy and return to the pier.

macau caltex

This buoy was brought to you by Caltex!

– They have really given up on the label of this being the toughest season ever. Geoff 26 returns to the bottom, but Henry & Bernie enter the room with Tisha 31 beforehand.

macau tisha 2

macau tisha 3

macau tisha 5

macau tisha 4

“Did I do that?”

macau henry tisha

Awkward.

– Geoff 26 wanted to say no hard feelings but decided to hold off until later. Him and Tisha 31 walk away but not before Henry utters an insult under his breath.
macau henry 2

HENRY: Scum.

And that is that.

– Tisha 31 knows where Dragon Boat Pier is. She seems to be familiar with Macau as well. Henry warns A.D. about the bad smell. He feels that Bernie can do this task and -might- pass Fuzzie.

macau fuzzie

macau fuzzie 2

Might.

macau fuzzie 3

Well, seems like we could be stuck watching this for several minutes. One of those odd lulls in the TAR universe.

macau fuzzie pickles

macau fuzzie pickles 2

macau fuzzie pickles 3

macau fuzzie pickles 4

macau fuzzie pickles 5

macau fuzzie pickles 6

macau fuzzie pickles 7

macau fuzzie pickles 8

macau fuzzie pickles 9

macau fuzzie pickles 10

Ah. I have been waiting all season to make that reference.

– Vince & Sam are at the Dragon Boat Pier. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 show them shortly afterwards. Both boats are moving slowly.

macau drum

Hong Kong and Macau are the only places on Earth where a drummer receives the most attention in a band.

– Ida & Tania finish their pettycab ride and open the clue at the fountain. There is a huge crowd surrounding the clue box now.

macau ida tania 3

macau ida tania 4

I wish production would tell the locals that a sixth team is coming. It would be hilarious to see them camped out for several hours as they await to ambush another pair of racers.

– Ida is not happy to see that a Yield is ahead. We go back to rowing. Vince looks miserable. Geoff 26 is coaching Tisha 31 how to do it. Vince pretends to be upset with Sam.

macau vince sam 6

macau vince sam 7
Yes, they are having a mock argument over the meaning of ‘pump it up’ with some StepheMe LaGrossa vocabulary mixed in there.

– Bernie never fails at being boring. She reaches the top of the indoor portion and thinks her fear of heights has returned. Fuzzie is FATigued. He says the legs were fine, but the shoulders are burning. More paddling. Vince & Sam have finished the task. It’s a Detour.

Dance or Chance.

– In Dance, teams must complete a lion dance routine and get every movement correct before receiving their next clue.

macau lion

ALLAN: Teams that can master these lion steps quickly will make a quick step to their next clue.

Even Wu’s puns are lazy. That was not a pun at all.

– In Chance, teams must dress up in proper attire and play Blackjack against a dealer. They must win nine hands before receiving their next clue (after each hand won, they will receive one letter of the word COMPLETED until the word is completed).

dj

You know you know you know you’re bad when you are copying a task that was played in Family Edition.

ALLAN: Teams will need the right combination of luck and skill to ace the dealer and have this task completed.

macau detour

There is a lot of skill in Blackjack when you are not gambling any money or double downing. It takes a ton of skill to know you should hit with 14 or less, stay with 16 or higher, and have 15 up to your discretion. Any monkey can do this task.

austin powers

Unless you like to live dangerously.

– And how did they pick nine as the number of hands that you need to complete the task? It is a random number. What is more random is how you collect a letter at a time until you spell the word COMPLETED. Who came up with this?

50 cent in da club

They may as well say “You will earn a bullet for each hand you win until you reach nine bullets because that is how many times 50 Cent was shot”.

– Vince & Sam decide to do Chance. How long does it take to win nine hands, really? Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 finish rowing and decide to do Dance. Geoff 26 yell out to Vince & Sam and ask what they are doing. Vince & Sam shout what they are doing.

– Ida & Tania are at the Roadblock. Tania volunteers as both of them sound out of breath.

– We see the beginning of each of the Detour options.
macau geoff 4

That move may be tough.

macau geoff 5

This task is great for Geoff 26 because he desperately needs some new dance moves.

– Ida & Tania join Henry and A.D.

HENRY: How are you surviving without money?
TANIA: We begged, borrowed, stole.

Two of these are lies, and one is the truth.

– Sam & Vince are at the casino and up to no good.

macau detour 2

They switch the name tags for Henry & Bernie’s outfits. Henry now has to wear the dress and Bernie is wearing the suit.

macau detour 3
tim danny

Tim & Danny do not approve.

– Vince & Sam stay on 17.

austin powers blackjack

austin powers blackjack 2

They really needed Number 2’s x-ray vision.

– It is a montage as we cut between the two leading teams at the Detour.

macau detour 4

That looks a bit off balance.

– Back to the Roadblock. We see a sweaty Bernie finishing her descent.

BERNIE: I am Lara Croft–Tower Raider.

macau henry bernie 4

Not Tomb Raider.

lara croft

Tomb Raider.

budapest pamela chong 2

Tomb Raider, La.

–  Henry knows where it is. We cut to Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 rehearsing the dance in the outdoor pouring rain.

macau geoff tisha 7

Jump!

macau geoff tisha 8

Slide!

macau geoff tisha 9

Bail!

macau geoff tisha 10
Fail!

macau geoff tisha 11
Toughest Dance Ever.

– They get back up and restart rehearsing. Vince & Sam are at COMPL. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 attempt to perform. Vince & Sam have another Blackjack.

VINCE: Blackjack in the Sack.

Wow. That’s not even a saying.

– Tania is going up the ladder as fast as she can. Remember how it is pouring rain and dark outside?

macau ad ida

A.D.: Holy. . .

macau lightning

Our friend Mr. Lightning has come out to play.

– Commercial break. We return to teams climbing up the tower as it is dark outside and a lightning storm is in progress.

doc brown

We also join Doc Brown who has just found a solution for sending Marty back to 1985.

doc brown 2

And is amazed that he was able to repel off the Macau Tower.

– Fuzzie has yet to come back. A.D. does not know why Fuzzie is taking so long. Of course we know Fuzzie is in no hurry to complete the task. He inches his way outside and is told something unprecedented. . .

macau fuzzie 4

. . .

macau fuzzie 5

You get the clue without doing fifty percent of the required task! No penalty is assessed. This is the first time in the history of the TAR franchise that some teams have to do a task as normal while other teams are told by production that fifty percent of it is cut out for them.

Other seasons have had entire rounds relocated in the past. Belize in Family Edition is a good example. Other seasons have hyper extended pit stops like in TAR 1 when teams were stuck in Tunisia until the sandstorm went away.

But to have two teams gain time on three other teams because production cut out fifty percent of a task for them due to weather is unprecedented.

I wonder if production did anything to fix the arrival times at the end of this round. Would A.D. & Fuzzie and Ida & Tania’s departure delay next round correspond to the average it took for Geoff 26, Vince, and Bernie to do the outdoor portion of the climb?

I will be keeping an eye out for it because I would be pissed if I was the other three teams in the event that nothing is done.

– Henry & Bernie enter the Dragon Boat Pier. Henry is impressed with the Master/Drummer because he is drumming at the pace Henry wanted for paddling. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 complete the dance. Geoff 26 asks if he can keep the pants as he does a terrible Bruce Lee impression.

macau geoff tisha 12

Uhwahhhhhhhh.

– They read that they must take a taxi to the Ama Cultural Village. Well, they mumble the clue, really. Vince & Sam finish the Detour seconds later. They hire a taxi too. A.D. and Ida wait together as Fuzzie struggles to make the descent. Finally Fuzzie appears with the clue.

A.D.: We’ve got to move fast, I’m sorry.

Spoiler: They don’t move fast.

macau ad fuzzie 2

Since when does the KKK make their own line of raincoats?

– Tania has her clue and makes the descent. A.D. & Fuzzie start paddling. They agree A.D. would have finished the task much faster. Ida & Tania’s taxi heads in the wrong direction as Ida repeatedly orders it to turn around. Fuzzie’s arms burn as they paddle.

– Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 head to the clue box to read their clue.

macau geoff tisha 13

This has to be one of the worst rainy days in TAR history.

macau geoff tisha 14

So rainy that Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 re-enter their cab for the sole purpose of reading the clue.

– They read that they can head to their next pit stop. It is on-site through the gates at the top of the stairs.

julie chen

But first. . .
macau zodiac

They must arrange the lanterns into the order of the Chinese Zodiac. Once the decorative lanterns are put in the correct order, the gates will open and they will check into the pit stop. A vacation provided by Thai alcohol is on the line.

– Vince believes he is first right now because he thinks cabs would be more familiar with a hotel rather than where the dancing was located.

GEOFF 26: Farm animals are together for the majority of the time.

That’s his reasoning for his order of the Chinese Zodiac?

Oddly enough, their first guess is wrong.

– Ida & Tania are dropped off at the wrong lake. They are most likely on the wrong side of town. So much for catching up. A.D. & Fuzzie complete the paddling task and have their clue. I imagine they are a minimum of an hour ahead of Ida & Tania. Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 repeatedly fail.

– We can barely see anything on A.D. & Fuzzie’s or Ida & Tania’s cameras because of the rain.

macau rain

This tropical storm is more bearable than what teams went through in round five.

– Ida & Tania run until they see A.D. & Fuzzie exiting the pier. They pick a boat and begin paddling. Good luck seeing the buoy.

– Henry & Bernie arrive at the Blackjack task. He refuses to believe that he must put on the dress.

– Vince & Sam arrive at the Zodiac task.

macau sam
rihanna

Just ignore the Jay-Z part. I love hip hop and rap as much as the next person, but Jay-Z has consistently been one of my least favourites out there.
.
.
.
And I have never really liked the Brooklyn Nets. But then again, who does?
macau henry bernie 5

Sadly, Henry did not elect to perform this task in drag.

– Vince & Sam, even with their Chinese background, fail to put the Zodiacs in the correct order. Geoff 26 makes a swap before stepping onto a mat.

macau geoff tisha 15

I love that teams must stand and wait on a mat after each guess as if the gates have a mind of their own and are evaluating the lanterns.

sorting hat

macau gate
Harry Potter has the Sorting Hat, but The Amazing Race Asia has the Lantern Gate.

– The music playing reminds me of the overworld map of Final Fantasy IV.

macau gate 2

Gryffindor!

– Geoff 26 & Tisha 31 run through the pouring rain and onto the mat.

macau pit stop greeter
In TAR 24, the budget is so low that Phil has to share an umbrella with the pit stop greeter. Here they each get their own.

– Geoff 26 hears he is first and yells ‘VICTORY’ as he copies Marc & Rovilson’s dance by spinning.

FIRST PLACE: GEOFF 26 & TISHA 31

macau geoff tisha 16

village people ymca

Geoff 26’s flamboyancy really came out in this leg.

macau allan wu 2

ALLAN: You have won more than just one leg. . .

amazing race amy daniel

“You’ve won two legs!”

macau geoff tisha 17

Tisha 31 looks uncomfortable as Geoff 26 kisses her on the cheek. She flat out tells him to stop a second later.

– Their prize?

macau sony

They have each won a 40 inch Sony television and a Playstation 3.

macau playstation

I hear the games offered for Playstation 3 are superior to System Rush.

macau geoff tisha 18

In 2007, winning a Playstation 3 was treated as a big freakin’ deal.

– Mat chat ends right there. I bet the rain ended virtually every mat chat early. Vince & Sam enter another guess and the Lantern Gate approves. The rain is REALLY loud on the audio.

SECOND PLACE: VINCE & SAM

It took a game of Blackjack to dethrone them. Sam is being punished for tattoos and gambling.

– Ida & Tania finish paddling and decide to gamble. Surprisingly, A.D. & Fuzzie show up to the Blackjack Detour. I guess choreography in pouring rain is not Fuzzie’s thing. Fuzzie freaks out when he sees he has to wear a dress. Did Vince & Sam switch their name tags too?

– Commercial break.

– We return. Fuzzie says he has not worn a dress since he was eight because he feels uncomfortable and stupid in them. Which makes sense because, I mean, most men don’t wear dresses. A.D. is putting on a dress too. I don’t get it. Vince & Sam did not switch their name tags then.
.
.
.
.
Oh my god.

macau ad fuzzie 5

macau ad

They have been women the whole time. How did that get by me for seven weeks? Did they have a sex change at the end of last round and I failed to notice? I don’t know, but I feel awkward right now.

– A.D. & Fuzzie are in a nightmare as they take forty-five minutes to understand how to put on a dress. They both admit it has been the toughest task of the season. Both of them enter the room and repeat to Henry & Bernie that they are not allowed to comment on their dresses and waddling on high heels.

macau fuzzie 6

macau ad fuzzie 4
Again, so awkward.

big rhonda

Big Rhonda felt less awkward in dresses than A.D. & Fuzzie.

– Henry & Bernie and A.D. & Fuzzie play Blackjack together. Tania prays for the twentieth time this round as she wants God to be with her as she gambles. Henry & Bernie finish the task as Bernie light-heartedly taunts them. Henry begs a couple locals to jump the line. They have annoying voices as they respond that they have been waiting a long time for their cab.

– Ida & Tania and A.D. & Fuzzie are at separate tables. The magic of editing because I doubt there are multiple tables. Henry & Bernie successfully jump the line, but the driver refuses to take them to the Cultural Village. Henry returns the cab to the kind locals.

– A.D. & Fuzzie finish the task. Henry & Bernie hail a taxi. Ida & Tania look like they are in pain as they run into a bad streak of hands.
macau ida tania 5

TANIA: If this was a casino I would have left this table minutes ago.

– Ida pulls out a “c’mon girlfriend” on the dealer.

– A.D. & Fuzzie are third to the Cultural Village. They are somehow ahead of Henry & Bernie. A.D. does the Asian Riff as the gate opens. Apparently it only took them four second to arrange the lanterns correctly.

THIRD PLACE: A.D. & FUZZIE

ALLAN: A.D. & Fuzzie. . .
A.D. & FUZZIE: Allan. . .

Never gets old.

macau ad fuzzie 5

After Fuzzie’s performance at the Roadblock, third place was definitely not what they were expecting.

macau allan wu 3

Allan always likes it when teams are in for a pleasant swuprise.

– Henry & Bernie are fourth to the Cultural Village. Ida & Tania are back at the hotel doing the Detour. Tania begs for a kiss from Ida when they have the Detour COMPLETED.
macau ida tania 6

Focus on the race, ladies.

– Ida & Tania enter a taxi. Henry & Bernie continue working on the lanterns. Henry keeps telling Bernie to be quiet and let him focus on the correct order. They step onto the mat and it opens.

FOURTH PLACE: HENRY & BERNIE

Henry is disappointed because he assumed they were third.

ALLAN: And you have a target. Watch your back. Stay in front.
HENRY: But you know what they say?

macau henry bernie 6

ALLAN: What do they say? Tell me.

macau allan wu 4

I love how Allan is visibly impatient and frustrated because he does not know what “they say”.

HENRY: Never cross Henry. Never cross Bernie.
BERNIE: HAHHAH.
ALLAN: Together or separated.
HENRY: And we’ve been crossed today.

– Ida & Tania are at the Cultural Village. Tania shushes Ida as she calculates the years in her head. The rain stops for a moment but picks up again when they hit the mat. The umbrellas are gone.

ALLAN: For the second consecutive leg you are the fifth and final team to arrive. I’m afraid this could be the end for the race for you. Well Ida & Tania, I am here to tell you. . .

macau allan wu 5

angry video game nerd 2

Allan’s “I am dead f—ing serious” face.

ALLAN: . . .I am telling you now that this is a pre-determined non-elimination round.
IDA: You want our money again?

macau ida

Ida’s morning brunch at the five-star Hotel Macau is slipping away. . .

ALLAN: I like to consider myself compassionate, so I’m not going to take any money from you. However, you must come first on the next leg or else you will incur a thirty minute time penalty, and see your team in last place again and eliminated.

– Ida & Tania are stoked to still be in the race. Ida knows that they want to always have fun doing it, but realize that they have to physically race. Although Tania still wants to stop and enjoy themselves.

Next Time on TAR: Back-to-back non-eliminations are over. Only one non-elimination to go in the final four episodes. Will Ida & Tania finish last for a third consecutive round and be out on three strikes, or will a change of scenery in India shake up the game? Only four episodes to go as we enter the final stretch of the TOUGHEST. RACE. EVER!!!!!

CONFESSIONAL COUNT

IDA.TANIA 3.5
VINCE.SAM 5.5
A.D..FUZZIE 4.6
HENRY.BERNIE 6.5
GEOFF26.TISHA31 10.7
LADY RUNNING INSTITUTE OF THE BLIND 0

Rank the Legs

1) Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam -> Hue, Vietnam

The Amazing Race 24 episode 4 just finished airing when I blogged for this week. Oh my word. Comparing the two seasons is like night and day. TAR Asia 3 looks like a real season of TAR while TAR 24 has been designed for babies.

A brutal twenty-five hour bus ride opens up the episode. Most teams were crammed onto the bus without air conditioning. In Hue, they had to get down and dirty to repair a Jeep in the hot sun. Next they had to do a Roadblock that required lots of walking, focus, and concentration in the heat. The Detour was the easiest part of the episode as most teams were happy to sit down and do some artistry with incense.

But then came the Cyclos. Henry & Bernie’s crash may be one of the most brutal things I have ever seen. All that they needed to do was land wrong and they could have been medically evacuated. Other teams crashed too. Fun times.

No subjective tasks nor any video games integrated into the episode made for a brutal race course. Granted, far fewer tasks than the previous 90 minute episode that aired a week earlier, but the 25 hour bus ride and a full day spent in the heat appeared to zap everybody.

The round ends on an unusual note as Natalie repeatedly sabotaged her and Pailin on purpose to guarantee their elimination from the race. Other racers knew that Natalie had signed up for the wrong show. Her initial goal of breaking the supermodel Miss Universe stereotype instead solidified as Natalie declared the idea of traveling into third world countries and not staying at five-star hotels as being an experience for less than humans.

Yes, she can eat scorpions. But doing typical things that most people do when traveling or repairing their cars at home is something that she believes no human should experience. I doubt she has ever camped in her life.

Oh, and how can we forget Mai & Oliver repeating what the other person says? Niroo & Kapil arguing? Henry abandoning Niroo? And everyone hating Geoff 26’s antics? This was a great episode overall.

But yeah, if it weren’t for the Cyclos, the ending would have been dull. I am assuming this is why they did not announce Natalie’s penalty until only eight minutes of airtime remained.

2) Hue, Vietnam -> Taipei, Taiwan

Everyone ended up on the same flight. I guess that is bound to happen when an airport is closed until all seven teams catch up to each other. They were bound to be on the same flight.

Of course this was more entertaining than usual thanks to Ida & Tania wasting their money on a hotel and fancy breakfast while the other six teams slept outside of the airport in Hue.

And what’s even better? It was a full night leg in Taipei with no equalizers. Furthermore, Ida & Tania wasted all of their money on comfort, food, and hiring taxis all to finish first and receive two. . .phones as their prize?

The Detour was neat as teams went through a neat miniature museum and it was a rare appearance for tangrams in the TAR universe.

The Institute of the Blind hosting a Braille task may have been another charity sponsourship for Caltex/Standard Chartered/Sony/Nokia/whoever else sponsoured this round, but I do think it was a great task to decode Braille which incorporated teamwork.

Lastly, a Roadblock that produces the second food eating challenge in four rounds was brutal. This one could not have been easy considering everybody except A.D., Henry, and Vince vomited. Although A.D. did burp about 200, 000 times in the process. I imagine he vomited in his mouth a little.

Even though Taiwan was used as a location just months earlier for its debut in TAR 12, they did not overlap any of the locations or tasks. That was awesome. In addition, while teams used public transit in TAR 12, teams here in TAR Asia 3 had to drive themselves through the confusing streets and freeways.

The only thing left to be desired in this round is that no particular event stands out other than Niroo & Kapil struggling with the most unique way to get yourself eliminated from the race, and Kapil forfeiting a food challenge within seconds.

I will miss Niroo & Kapil yelling at producers and arguing with each other. Their elimination marked the worst race average for any seventh place finisher in TAR franchise history.

3) Chiang Mai, Thailand -> Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

Depart in the middle of the night. Wait until a flying fox canopy tour opens.

Then go to a plantation. Dodge paintball snipers.

Then go to the airport. Fight for flights to Vietnam.

Then play a F-Zero knock-off where you may actually screw up and lose 90 seconds of time.

Then head to a flower stall where you may have to sleep outside until morning.

Then load up baskets of chickens or do an impossible rowing task before you switch to catching chickens and transporting them.

Then go to a post office to help out a charity for a couple of hours (or minutes if you were in Miss Universe).

Then head to a pit stop via the local zoo.

Include being transported by long bus rides for some of these tasks on top of that.

No wonder why this episode had to be hyper-extended. Even at the end the pit stop check-ins felt really rushed. Production wanted to induce vomiting in round one, but decided to drain teams of all energy by round two. The rests at the canopy tour and flower stall were just a few hours rather than a full night. No way teams slept for more than a couple hours during that 40-48 hour period.

By the end of this episode you had a really good sense for every team excluding Isaac & William who remained to be bland until their elimination. You understand why everyone hates Geoff 26. Ida & Tania are suddenly your favourites. Henry cries as much as Henry from last season. Natalie comes off as a super spoiled brat. Oliver may be the most serious and humourless person ever seen.

This episode did several things right. Although no one chose to do a rowing task because paddling without sleeping for 40 hours is impossible due to the amount of concentration required.

But what it did wrong irks me. Teams were assigned to different charities. Some of them you could be done in a matter of ten minutes while others looked like it took well over an hour. I like that TAR Asia regularly does charitable donations, but you have to keep in mind that it is a race. Teams know not to be big enough jerks to say “hurry the heck up” during this.

And did watching teams play System Rush Revolution urge anyone to buy a Nokia phone as soon as they watched the episode? Although it did lead to Geoff 26 showboating. So I guess it was worth something.

And how many paintball snipers were there? Did they roam or were they set in a fixed spot? Because some of the snipers could have gone rogue and just chased down the same player over and over again. I mean, it was not like the players could fire back and kill the sniper. They were defenseless. I wish production would reveal how they tried to make that task fair.

Other than that, I was shocked that a 68 minute running time did not drag at all.

4) Hong Kong, China -> Macau, China

The only real equalizer this round was the one at the aquarium, and that managed to be small enough to put Ida & Tania at a disadvantage.

The flaw with taking a team’s funds was shown as we enter a long established etiquette since TAR 7 where teams almost always donate money to the team with empty pockets. However, that backfired as Ida & Tania ended up with more money than other teams as they were more than willing to beg on the streets.

Although I think the metropolitan streets of Hong Kong will find rich people much easier than, say, Egypt in TAR 5, Soweto in TAR 7 or Senegal in TAR 6.

Seeing a Yield being used was probably the perfect twist needed to put life into a season that would suffer from too many non-eliminations being bunched together, and also with too few teams left to entertain the audience.

A crowd of TAR fans huddling around a clue box in Macau reminded me of TAR Canada tasks. It shows you how great producers are when they shoo away fans 99% of the time, but Canadian producers are too lazy to do anything about it.

The Roadblock was great in concept. We have seen it countless times. In fact the next season to air was TAR 13 where climbing Auckland Tower was a Fast Forward. Here it was a Roadblock that was met with outrageously bad weather. Fuzzie and Tania were trailing the other three teams when the bad weather hit the tower, but were given a huge break as they did not have to do the outdoor portion of the task because of the lightning storm.

Good camera work was clearly tough to come by for the last fifteen minutes of the episode because of the challenges the lightning and rain posed for production.

Rowing a boat around a buoy is now a long established tradition in TAR.

The lion dance was entertaining. I will pay money to see a half-Canadian and her cyborg boyfriend slipping on a phantom banana peel. That Detour option was fine.

But it was the other one that sucked. Sure, I love an excuse to make an Austin Powers reference, but waiting around to win nine hands of Blackjack without needing to use chips is one of the lamest tasks to date this season. Is that what the people of Macau do? Play Blackjack for fun at hotels without money on the line? And they play first-to-nine?

As I said before, you know you have a bad task when it was used for seven year olds in Family Edition.

I have no complaints about the Lantern Zodiac task at the pit stop. If anything it provided good comedy with the all-knowing inanimate gate approving teams, and deciding to open itself on its own.

Lastly, we had another predictable non-elimination because of how non-eliminations were structured in TAR Asia 2.

Thank goodness a rivalry was finally exposed. It is Geoff 26 & Tia Carrere–er, Tisha 31 vs. Henry & Bernie.

Henry & Bernie need this late game rivalry because their personalities are not captivating on camera. They belong on the Mogo Mogo tribe.

5) Bangkok, Thailand -> Chiang Mai, Thailand

Thailand makes a rare appearance at this point in the TAR franchise. Only the fourth appearance total for a relatively safe country at the time.

Tuk-tuks may be the least flattering way to take teams to the starting line. Unless production will be going for a gritty and rough motif all season long, tuk-tuks go against the epic nature of TAR’s opening cinematography.

This has to be the most disgusting opening task to a season. It should be a difficult task halfway through a season. I find it odd that it is not only a food eating task, but results in half of the teams vomiting. I think Pailin & Natalie did so well because they had not eaten any food since the conclusion of the last pageant.

Then we were glued to the buses for half of the round. The idea was executed so poorly that after a complicated formula for departures, seven out of ten teams were on the last bus together. Neena & Amit finished fourth on the Buddha Search task but had to wait hours for the trailing teams.

The Detour was original. Well, not doing an eight kilometre ATV course. But putting together those rice balls had never been done before, and seemed brutal on your back and hands.

The shortened hose at the gas station was hilarious, and it was really bizarre to see a first place team preparing to quit on the first leg. That has to be one of the more unbelievable things I have ever seen.

“You just won five THOUSAND dollars!”
“F— your VISAS, we quit.”

So yeah, a really tough premiere compared to the wimpy premiere in TAR 24, and it provided more than enough entertainment.

6) Taipei, Taiwan -> Hong Kong, Hong Kong

All of the teams are exhausted. They needed a leg of mercy after being pushed to their needle in a haystacking and food eating limits.

Thankfully, they gave them a much smaller haystack and a much smaller pile of food to sift through this round.

A direct flight and a journey through Hong Kong did not take more than ten hours from the beginning of the round to when the last team checked in. This has to be by far the easiest round of the season.

By the way, going through the rugby team to receive your next clue was one of the lamest things I have ever seen.

Lastly, the only reasonable task was matching the handbag at the Ladies Market.

I have absolutely nothing else to say about this round. Did anything happen at all except for the long awaited return to a Chinese junk?

7) Taipei, Taiwan -> Taipei, Taiwan

Most of the time staying in the same city means the round is lame, short, and is the worst round of the season.

I can safely say that one out of those three is true.

Let’s review the locations. A shopping mall, a coal mine, a shopping mall, an itty bitty portion dedicated to a temple, and then a building downtown.

Let’s review the tasks. Searching through 1, 000 Blu Ray discs for one clue. Searching through hundreds of kilos of coal for a clue. Playing a twenty second crane game or the one team who went to a cool temple to lift a bucket. Then an astrolog–er, astronomical museum. Well, the outside of the museum.

Because Vince & Sam finished the disc task first, they went for the only Fast Forward to get bland tattoos and finished the episode about eight hours or so ahead of everyone else. Their lead was bigger than Colin & Christie’s. Yeah, never thought that would be possible.

Three teams were stuck at the Sony Store for hours upon hours. In fact, the task was impossible to the point that Mai & Oliver were kicked out of the store! They started the task at the very beginning of the round, and were the third team to show up. Can you comprehend just how long it took if they could not succeed at putting discs into a Blu Ray player after eight or nine hours of doing so?

lena sweden 10

Lena would rather unravel hay bales again if she played in TAR 15 rather than do the Blu Ray task.

Ida & Tania did not celebrate or look happy when they found the coin in the coal. The happiest team in the whole season did not bother to smile. That’s when you know you have gone too far.

Ugh. There is a difference between making tasks that are so tough that teams will quit compared to tasks that hinge upon luck to the point that you have to kick them out.

The latter was true. Is it really the toughest race when I have ten thousand hay bales, and only six of them have a clue? No, that’s just called being an asshole.

I feel horrible for Mai & Oliver. They should not have been allowed to go through an experience like that. In addition, I know for a fact that this was supposed to be a non-elimination round, but how many freakin’ penalties would Mai & Oliver have to take to finish the round in a reasonable amount of time? The Roadblock, the Detour, and then traveling to the pit stop?

Furthermore, what would Mai & Oliver’s reaction be when they see the Roadblock was another needle in a haystack task? They would quit on the spot. Mai’s body could not handle a shovel, and Oliver would want to knock himself out with the shovel too.

A non-elimination format that I assume was supposed to be 6-6-5-5-4-4-3 for the last seven episodes or 6-6-6-5-5-4-3 or 6-6-5-5-5-4-3 had to be thrown out the window. That has to be the first pre-determined non-elimination in history to be cancelled.

Now we are stuck with three non-eliminations in what will most likely be a span of four episodes. And the locations are about to get exciting again. Ugh.

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