THE AMAZING RACE ASIA 2 RANKING
SINGAPORE – PHILIPPINES – HONG KONG – NEW ZEALAND – JAPAN – SOUTH KOREA – GERMANY – CZECH REPUBLIC – HUNGARY – SOUTH AFRICA
Alright. I haven’t exactly been blogging the TAR Asia seasons as they appear in the TAR timeline.
TAR Asia 1 took place right after TAR 10. It was a success in terms of ratings. How do I know this?
Because TAR Asia 2 and 3 aired during the hiatus between TAR 12 and 13. Two seasons were filmed within eight months. Clearly AXN Asia was banking on TAR Asia to continue being a hit throughout Asia.
TAR Asia 2 was probably the peak of the series. The route is the biggest of the entire series. This is perhaps the final season of any TAR franchise to utilize a thirteen round format. It is also the last to implement five non-elimination rounds in a season. In other words, it is as excessive with saving teams as much as TAR Asia 1 where we had four out of the last five teams being rescued from a last place finish at least once.
Guess what? This season had fifteen episodes. Not only were the thirteen episodes aired individually for thirteen weeks, but they had two specials: Racers Revealed and Memories.
Racers Revealed is where executive producer Michael Mackay sat down for an hour long episode one week before the premiere date to justify his reasoning for casting each of the ten teams. We saw an extended look at audition tapes and make each of the ten teams distinct in our minds. This was not done in season one.
Memories is a repeat of the post-race special that they did in TAR Asia 1. This is a recap of what happened during the race along with a couple of interview segments with the other teams about what occurred behind the scenes. The episode ran one week after the finale. This is the closest thing to a reunion show that any TAR franchise has until TAR Canada had theirs about five months ago.
What TAR Asia 2 does really well is that it incorporates classic and newer elements of TAR that were present at the time. Detours, Roadblocks, Fast Forwards, Yields, Phil’s mugging, Marked for Elimination, and Intersections are all present.
You forget about ME, mothaf—a?
That’s right. No U-Turns of any kind is present for TAR Asia 2.
I wish more seasons were like this where they had pick various aspects from the overall library of the series and incorporate them into the race. This seems more logical than just limiting each twist to a specific era.
Now onto the cast. You know how TAR Asia 1 used a fair amount of mactors and rich contestants? You know, like how a person working in the TV industry of Kuala Lumpur won TAR Asia 1 which was produced out of Singapore?
Well, this season takes it to a bit more of an extreme. Virtually every contestant is well-known, attractive, and appear to be wealthy. This is excessive because more than 2, 500 teams applied to be on the race. I doubt all five thousand who applied were celebrities.
However, the improvement upon the previous cast is that there are teams from North America and more Asian countries. The days of Filipino, Hong Kong, and Malaysian domination like last season’s cast is over.
One team is Asian-Canadian, Asian-American, Malaysian, Filipino, Hong Kongians, Singaporeans, Vietnamese, Aussies, and Japanese. The Japanese casting is surprising because people from Japan were ineligible to apply for TAR Asia 1. I do not know why the restriction was there in the first place. Singapore-Japan rivalry? Odd, I know.
So what about this season’s route? Last season they were in Asia and Oceania. Granted teams from Oceania were cast for TAR Asia 1 so it made sense. The difference with this season is that we not only go to Asia (duh) and Oceania, but also add a few rounds in Europe and (South) Africa.
Clearly the budget was greatly expanded from TAR Asia 1 to maintain thirteen rounds but travel to everywhere in the world except the Americas. Do not get used to it because the routes for TAR Asia 3 and 4 have tighter budgets. The shrinking budget continues until production moves to China and makes four seasons of an exclusive China-based race.
What is perhaps the neatest thing about this season is that the American franchise would need another two years before reaching Czech Republic. It would not be until TAR Australia where a smaller franchise would visit a country before the main franchise was able to do so.
The reason why I held off the TAR Asia 2 blog until after I finished TAR 14 is for the following reasons:
1) I figured what better way to follow up the first Asian-American winners than to do TAR Asia 2.
2) TAR Asia 2 was -really- the first season to have a deaf contestant cast. Luke Adams is not the first contrary to popular belief.
3) Going onwards to TAR 15 means I would be blogging about Tiffany & Maria. I am not ready for that trauma yet.
4) TAR 13 and 14 were seasons labelled as having two of the most dominant teams in TAR history. TAR Asia 2 will take this to an extreme as one of the teams is the closest thing to being the Team Gypsy of TAR.
5) Many teams from TAR 14 were mactors and “celebrities”.
6) Japanese contestants = anime and video game references galore!
And that is about it for me. The only other thing I wish to mention is that Kynt & Vyxsin applied for this season following their stint on TAR 12. I am curious why producers did not want Kynt & Vyxsin considering all of the other mactors and “celebrities” they were already casting. I guess we will never know.
Oh, best part from the Racers Revealed special prior to the season?
The stereotype continues.
The blog is waiting. . .read it in a safe place. . .go!
Previously on TAR Asia: Zabrina & Joe Jer were the first all-female team to win in franchise history. Sadly no one outside of Asia was aware of this, and thus ninety percent of TAR fans act as if an all-female team has never won.
– We see the opening shot. Allan introduces us to Singapore.
Ah yes. Singapore. According to TAR Asia 1, it is the land of cars that need to be washed. How else do they keep the streets so clean?
Spiderman would hate Singapore. He would commit suicide if not for the tense-breaking chewing gum that he relies upon!
ALLAN: Singapore–the smallest country in southeast Asia.
Really? A country that consists of just one city is the smallest country within a limited geographical area? Heck, isn’t Singapore one of the top ten smallest countries on the planet?
– The mouth of the Singapore River is where it was transported from a fishing village into the city it is today.
– Allan gets straight to the point by introducing us to the ten teams.
Paula & Natasha.
Paula and Natasha’s parents met as friends during World War I. No, they are not siblings. Each of their parents met each other. The friendship between the two sets of parents is why they have known each other their whole lives.
Wait. Paula & Natasha look like they are twenty-something. World War I is ninety years before this was filmed. I imagine she meant their grandparents.
No wonder she cannot do math. She is too busy being pampered at a spa.
– Paula says their friendship will give them an advantage over other teams.
NATASHA: The race isn’t just about brawn. It is also about common sense and logic. We’ve got a lot of common sense and logic.
Common sense? You just mixed up World War I and World War II!
– Who is next up?
They must be wealthy considering that they are playing Golf Cart Polo.
ALLEN: Rovilson and Marc. TV sports show rivals from the Philippines.
Sports show host rivals? They have sports in the Philippines? And why are they on a team together if they are rivals?
What is it? A Filipino version of Pardon the Interruption?
– Marc says that Rovilson is a race horse and a mule who will always have his back. Marc says physical fitness is not everything.
ROVILSON: Ultimately, it is really all about luck. What’s our saying?
MARC & ROVILSON IN UNISON: You live and die by the taxi driver.
Their whole intro is pretty much just them finding a convenient scapegoat in the event that they do miserable in this race.
– That is it from them. Who is the third team?
Sisters from Malaysia. And they got attitude.
– They talk about how they will fight, and have known each other since Pamela was three years old. These two are looking forward to doing this together because they will go on to their own separate lives afterwards.
A bit scary when you are as flexible as a Pussycat Doll.
Hey! No splashing on the race!
I have a feeling they cannot share clothes when one loves wearing black and the other loves pink. It is like Kynt & Vyxsin but without the whole ‘screaming for attention’ visual.
– So who is our fourth team?
Adrian & Collin. Gym buddies from Hong Kong.
– Adrian is doing things with his hands. . .oh. He is signing. He tells us that his buddy Collin was born with profound deafness in both of his ears.
Wow. Collin is super buff and deaf? That muscle tone is one feature that he whoops Luke Adams in and we have barely even started.
And look at those sick shades!
COLLIN: 2 LUKE: 0
– I should note that Adrian volunteered when he was younger for a place that has him work with deaf youth. That is why he knows sign language very well. Because we cannot interpret sign language, Collin’s words are put into subtitles.
What is amazing is that Collin can speak rather clearly. He is Asian and deaf, but somehow speaks clearer than everyone on Team U.K. from season nine of The Ultimate Fighter.
During the Racers Revealed special, Collin told us that he had travelled to China, Mongolia, Japan, and a couple of other countries.
COLLIN: 3 LUKE: 0
Collin says that their gestures and sign language is their secret weapon.
– Moving on. . .
ALLAN: Singaporean Sophie and French-born Aurelia. Ex-roommates who had a falling out, but now living separately in Hong Kong.
Yikes. I think divorced couples on the race have a more cooperative dynamic than this mess.
If the one on the left is not French-born Aurelia, then I will gladly vote myself out of this blog. Crazy earrings, Erykahbadu inspired headwear, and an exposed middriff all contribute to being a Parisian.
Look at the way she obsesses over the shoe as she holds it in that red-and-white shirt! How is she not French-born Aurelia?
SINGAPOREAN SOPHIE: We have an advantage over the other teams because we do not have an investment into our relationship.
Well that is nice to hear.
– Singaporean Sophie has the clean Singaporean accent. We go to French-Born Aurelia who talks so rapidly that she is required to have subtitles.
And judging by their facial expressions, they are in for many more conflicts.
– Singaporean Sophie says they will have to think so fast and compromise to stay in the race. She says that is a great thing for them in the race.
You mean great thing for us to watch. I have a feeling it will not play out so well for you.
I knew it! It’s Asian Joseph Gordon Levitt! I have heard of stunt casting, but this is ridiculous!
– BRETT: Even though she is a bit of a celebrity. . .she’s in movies. She’s in TV commercials. She’s still really humble.
-She- is the celebrity? Since when has she been in TV commercials or movies?
What is this? The Vanessa Morgan Effect?
– I should note that in Racers Revealed that all Brett talked about is how oh so famous Kinar is. The peak of her fame that was referenced multiple times during the interview?
She won an episode of Fear Factor Indonesia. Yep. A small market gameshow in a country that is not known for having a world recognized TV industry.
KINAR: I want to be like him. Where I can just control everything without being like. . .BAHHHHH!
WHAT THE F—! She just randomly screams during the introduction. It came out of nowhere.
Kinar says Brett loves his family, she loves her family, and she loves him.
– Next up?
ALLAN: Ex-Navy vet Henry, and wife Terri from the Philippines.
HENRY: We have a lot of fun. But there is also things that trip us up.
Season after season of TAR and Survivor we always have an African-American contestant who cannot swim. Are the casting agents racist or is it really true that ninety percent of African-Americans cannot swim?
Look how low that jacuzzi is! It is not even up to his waist.
Although his fear is balanced out by how freakin’ big it is and the expensive alcoholic drinks in their cups.
– Our ninth team?
A team that discards the notion of having a bullseye on their back, but rather a bullseye on the front.
Edwin & Monica. They are dating Chinese-Canadians for ten years. Now in Hong Kong.
Oh yeah, Monica was Miss Chinese International 2009 in Toronto or some obscure award like that.
Edwin & Monica share a mirror as they brush their yellow teeth. You know, because they are defending against cavities? What? You thought I was being racist?
How do I know Edwin is such a Canadian?
He listens patiently without speaking as his girlfriend talks to the camera most of the time.
His idea of a good audition tape is to sit and watch TV with his girlfriend while wearing his best hat for the occasion. Picking out your best hat for bed is a 20 year old male Canadian past time.
And when he talks it is a slow, deep, and calm voice as if he finished getting high about twenty minutes ago.
EDWIN: It is a challenge for them to see if things can work out because they have not done that in uh. . .Long time.
MONICA: Long time.
LOL! They said ‘long time’! Not ‘a long time’. Just ‘long time’!
2 Live Crew was right all along.
– Speaking of ‘Me So Horny’, we are introduced to our final team. . .
ALLAN: Dancing moms from Malaysia!
In the Racers Revealed show, they were referred to as the “Yummy Mommies”, or as they are known off-camera, the “MILFinators”.
Need we play more?
Kim Kardashian called. She wants her makeup back.
– They talk about being moms and how they combat sleep deprivation, always running around, and wishing to grab once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.
– Okay. Onto our final team:
ALLAN: Brother-sister team–Daichi & Sawaka from Japan.
Whoa. The Japanese are allowed to race on TAR Asia now? And his name is Daichi?
Yikes. There is already an anime based on Daichi made. That was quick.
– Sawaka says other people are jealous of their relationship because of how well they get along. Except for the part where Daichi secretly married a woman in Mexico without telling anyone from his family.
Here comes Sawaka’s kick. . .
Daichi attempts to block. . .
Sadly it ends in an unintentional planking. The ball only got by him a little. Just a little.
– Daichi says that he hates how Sawaka sings all the time. Immediately Sawaka begins to sing (she is a singer and songwriter).
We are going on The Amazing Race
To find ourselves
And discover our fate
I really hope she finds her own songwriter when she hits it big.
– Instead of doing the speech and letting racers be on their own for a minute, Allan takes us straight into the intro.
ALLAN: Who will be the best? Which team will fall by the wayside? Who will withstand the pressure of racing around the world? Let’s find out as we prepare to race on Amazing Race Asia.
That’s her full name? Kinaryoshih? But it is shortened to Kinar?
What did Yoshi ever do to Indonesians?
– ALLAN: In a few moments. . .you will begin. . .the race of a lifetime.
What is wrong with Mr. Wu? Is he out of breath or instructed to be overly dramatic?
Unless you are Jonathan Baker. In which case you are jumping up and down.
– Allan explains that there will be seven eliminations along the way.
ALLAN: And let me warn you. . .the first round could be one of those eliminations.
Look at the expression on his face. He is dead f—ing serious.
The first round could be an elimination? Timeout, Coach.
Oh, confused why Allan would warn the first round could be an elimination? Because in TAR Asia 1, the first round was a non-elimination which saved eventual finalists Sandy & Francesqua.
Also, TAR Asia 1 is the only season until TAR 15 to have a non-elimination in the opener.
– Everyone applauds the number of winning 100k if they cross the finish line first.
ALLAN: Is everyone ready?
F—ing tease. Just say ‘go’ already!
It looks like spirits going right through him!
– Teams cross each other’s paths to reach the nearby bags. They are told to head to the location of the enclosed photograph that is in their clue.
I will shoot myself if that is the Petronas Towers AGAIN.
– We are told that they have forty-six dollars for this leg of the race. Dang, everything is cheap in Asia.
– The clue is more complex. Once at the location, they have another photograph inside that shows a souvenir. There are a series of taxis in a parking garage. On the dashboard there is a souvenir. Match the taxi’s souvenir with the souvenir depicted on the photograph. They will then exchange it with the driver for their next clue.
That may be the most complicated clue in series history. Even moreso than TAR 1’s opener of “go to the smoke that thunders”.
Wouldn’t that be the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino?
This is the clearest shot of the souvenir that we see. Why could it not be from the driver’s point of view?
– Wu also tells us that the photograph points to the Asian Civilizations Museum in Singapore. The taxis are located within a three hundred metre radius of the building. That would be like the area of a park outside of a high school.
– Teams struggle to find cabs. Natasha thinks she sees the museum. Singaporean Sophie yells at French-Born Aurelia to follow her. A bunch of teams are following each other. Brett & Kinar scream for a taxi because of how nervous they are.
– Pamela & Vanessa are first to find the driver. They get the clue before heading inside of the cab.
– If you are familiar with TAR 3, you can likely guess their next location.
Yep. Mount Faber.
ALLAN: Teams may lose a lot of time looking for this specific merlion located at the top of Mount Faber.
See how they match?
– We finally get a glimpse of the real merlion that they need to find on Mount Faber.
Fun fact: This merlion at Mt. Faber was imported from Sacramento.
– Pamela thinks Vanessa can be stuck up while Nessa thinks that Pamela will always want to be right. Edwin & Monica are running through the streets. Edwin is carrying Monica’s bag for her. Edwin begs Monica to run faster. She dropped some stuff in the street.
Less than two minutes and Nessa is already picking up dropped money and route info from the ground. Does she not have a fanny pack to use?
– Edwin & Monica say they are equal when it comes to decision making. Monica’s cardio is terrible. She may have well won Miss Asian Smoker.
– Singaporean Sophie and French-Born Aurelia are second to have the clue. Aurelia reads the clue but translates “monument” to “moneymoneyomoneymont”. Wow. Her franglais is going to be a major challenge this season.
– Marc & Rovilson are third to the clue.
MARC (about to cry): Dammit, that took so long.
Marc tells us he is super competitive, and at times does not realize it until after the fact. He knows Marc is extraordinarily competitive too.
– Marc & Rovilson enter the cab.
MARC: Sorry sir, but I did not get your name.
DRIVER: Mister Low.
MARC: Mister Low?
DRIVER: How Low can you go?
Mr. Low? He even tells his name in the form of a limbo chant? Who is this guy? Hermes Conrad?
A merlion ate his manwich!
Wow. He isn’t joking. She is a good ten seconds behind him. The camera operator has to be enforcing the thirty foot rule. You know, the rule where a team cannot be more than thirty feet apart.
– Edwin & Monica express that they have strong personalities that can clash. This surprises me because a Canadian with a strong personality is contradictory by nature.
– Collin says that they will not be undermined by their disability, but rather that they will feel threatened by it.
I should note that Adrian pronounces ‘threatened’ with a hard ‘T’.
Which word do you think he is signing here?
– Natasha comes out of nowhere to be shown her confessional about her amazement with Adrian & Collin’s signing.
– MILFinators have the clue. Paula & Natasha are right behind.
– Brett & Kinar stand on the street as Brett casually points out a cab with the souvenir. Kinar sees it and does a fist pump for the driver.
– Ann has a suggestion but Diane shoots her down as she meditates inside of the cab. Ann tells us that she is the one who is more excited.
– Daichi & Sawaka are in a cab. Daichi tells Sawaka to be excited. Edwin complains he cannot move while Henry & Terri are yelling at each other.
SINGAPOREAN SOPHIE: Poor Ed was carrying two bags and looking quite lost too. Hopefully they are lost.
Judging by that stance of loneliness, I would say yes.
Like any good American citizen does when he needs directions, he draws a football play on the ground before making their next move.
– Henry loves Terri’s spontaneity.
TERRI: I am a box of chocolate. You never know what’cha gonna get.
Laughing at your own jokes–a great American past time. Henry looks like he could die of laughter from a Forrest Gump reference.
HENRY: We haven’t been here.
TERRI: We’ve been here!
– MARC & ROVILSON (inside of the cab): You live and die by your taxi driver!
*Camera pans to Mr. Low.*
No double homicide in the works for Mr. Low.
– Pamela & Vanessa begin running. So do Adrian & Collin, S Sophie and FB Aurelia, and Marc & Rovilson.
– Pamela & Vanessa have the clue. Pamela pauses to breathe as she reads the clue. So what do they have to do?
Guide your taxi to the next clue with only the aid of a Nokia N95 GPS Navigation system that will be released into Southeast Asia coming this autumn. They will then find their next clue.
– Adrian & Collin, FB Aurelia & S Sophie, and Marc & Rovilson all run up the hill together.
Screw the stairs, says Rovilson.
– He actually gets ahead of French Born Aurelia this way. The four teams are all in taxis as we see them use the GPS. They tell all of their drivers that they are following the GPS. The GPS talks aloud.
Oh, the gadget itself. Collin misses out on the robotic voice that drops the James Bond aura that it may possess otherwise.
– MILFinators are next to Mount Faber. They are currently in fifth.
ROVILSON: It’s radiant like life. “Marc, take a shower you filthy pig.”
ROVILSON (still impersonating GPS): Rovilson, don’t date her. She’s foul.
Oh right. In Racers Revealed, Marc & Rovilson said they will talk to any competitor who has a pretty face. They are sort of like Asian Eric & Jeremys but with a lot more fame than they do.
– Rovilson says that life is primarily on the bottom, and that you need that comedic light to get over the situations. Marc assumes they are at the back of the pack, and hopes a team is still looking for a taxi.
– Edwin & Monica and Henry & Terri are still walking on the street. Edwin & Monica are not moving.
EDWIN: Am I gonna carry your bags like this every day?
MONICA: Baby, I promise I will throw out everything. Everything. It will be like an empty backpack. Who needs shampoo?
I do not know who needs shampoo, Miss Chinese International 2007?
This is a team that is going nowhere fast.
– We cut from the Canadians to the Americans.
HENRY: We’re gonna find this thing and be happy mothaf-happy happy happy.
Good save, Henry.
– Brett & Kinar stop at Mount Faber. Natasha opens her mouth inside the cab as she sees them. However, Paula is not happy with Natasha possibly yelling out information.
One voice? How about No Voice?
– Daichi & Sawaka show up at the route marker. Brett & Kinar have it in sixth. Paula & Natasha are seventh. Daichi & Sawaka are eighth.
PAULA: Do you have the camera?
Uh oh, Nokia is not going to like that. Know their product, dammit!
See? Teams can get clues without pushing and shoving when close together.
Luke could learn a thing or two from the Asians.
– Pamela & Nessa are told by the GPS that they are at the destination. It is Suntec City. Seeing how they already visited the Good Luck Fountain in TAR 3 and TAR Asia 1, I doubt we will see that place visited for a third freakin’ time. Adrian & Collin and Marc & Rovilson are present too. Rovilson spots the clue. It is a Detour.
Dare or Stair.
In Dare, teams take an elevator to the top floor of the building. Then they will traverse to the adjacent building. Once finished, they will receive their next clue.
Yikes. The buildings are 181 metres tall.
– In Stair, teams must climb forty-five floors to the rooftop of Tower Three. They must then return to the lobby and head to Tower Four where they must climb forty-five floors to receive their next clue.
Ninety flights of stairs?! They, uh, really want teams to do Dare.
– Obviously, the three teams are choosing Dare. They search for the nearby Tower Three. Sawaka is under the assumption that she is last.
– Adrian & Collin successfully grab the ‘1’ as they outrun and box out Marc & Rovilson
They called my son a monster!
– The three teams suit up. French-Born Aurelia has the Detour clue. She makes fun of the idea of running those flights of stairs without an elevator. Pamela wished it was a quick descent but rather it is a slow traverse across.
– Edwin & Monica and Henry & Terri find the cabs -finally-. Terri yells at Henry about common sense. Eight out of the ten teams are now at the Detour. Sawaka nearly misleads Daichi inside of a building, but luckily he looked two inches to the left.
Sawaka needs to open her eyes a bit more if she is going to be able to spot clues.
Yep. Eight teams doing Dare.
– Rovilson yells at Marc to not check out the women waving on floor thirty-four.
We love your sports show!
– I should note that the first member across has the option of pulling on the rope to have their partner go faster. Some teammates freak out when this is happening. The instructor has to cut in to stop the pulling.
– Edwin & Monica each grab a clue. . .
Wait, they each grab a clue? Edwin yells at Monica to put the extra clue back.
But what if we lose one, Edwin? Isn’t it best to be safe?
– Henry & Terri are shown reading the clue in contrasting shots with Edwin & Monica, but yet both teams are never in the same shot. Odd.
– Now it is a montage of eight teams traversing across the towers. I have a feeling first and eighth are no more than thirty minutes apart. Natasha nearly orgasms on the course.
DAICHI: I have a phobia of heights. I can’t even cross small bridge.
– Commercial. Yep. The “I am afraid of heights but will do the task anyway” is the lead-in to the commercial break for the millionth time.
– We resume with Daichi beginning to cross the gap.
Look at him wincing in fear as he traverses to the next building.
Probably because he saw a death clip of himself falling from the top of Suntec Tower.
Daichi even mocks how he crosses the rope.
– Diane closes her eyes and sings an Asian adaptation of “I Will Survive”. Brett tells Kinar to start moving up. He motivates her by tapping her on the booty.
– Marc & Rovilson are back at the base of the tower to read their clue.
ROVILSON: Make your way to Manila in the Philippines.
And then he. Jizzed. In. His. Pants.
– Teams will now fly to Manila. Once there they must find Asian Promenade Park CCP Complex.
I should note in TAR Asia 1 that all they did was stay in Kuala Lumpur for the whole round. The main tasks were to descend a floor of a mall and do some go-karting. Needless to say this has been a huge step up thus far.
– Rovilson says the highlight of the round was seeing that they were heading to Manila. French Born Aurelia is the only other person who expresses excitement over heading to the Philippines. Kinar’s fear is erased by thinking she is last. Sawaka says in Japanese that having fear only in your heart means you are strong-hearted.
– Vanessa decides to show off her muscles inside of the taxi.
No better time to flex than the present.
– Marc & Rovilson express their love for the cab driver as they enter the airport.
– Edwin is annoyed with the slowness of the cab driver. All eight teams have now completed the Detour. Marc & Rovilson joke they are buying tickets to Paris before saying they are going to Manila. Great joke.
– EDWIN: The Japanese team is right there!
At least he did not say they are Chinese.
– No mystery over why Edwin & Monica and Henry & Terri are tied for last. Neither team can see the clue.
TERRI: That’s what it said, go ahead. LOOK FOR A GODDAMN THING RIGHT NOW.
Terri is my favourite.
– Monica asks somebody inside of the tower to point out the clue box to them. He points at it instantly. She screams at Edwin to follow her.
Why are you pointing at Edwin? Oh! He is standing right next to the clue. Edwin!
TERRI: WE’RE ALREADY DEAD! RESTING!
– Both teams decide Dare. Paula tells us that she never looked down. Sawaka makes fun of Daichi’s expressions. Diane says there was no pain in the task because she has gone through labour multiple times.
– Various teams run into the airport. It is a mystery what flights they are signing up for. Somehow Henry & Terri have pulled the ‘9’ ticket ahead of Edwin & Monica. We have no idea how Henry & Terri are ahead. Monica complains of fatigue as she pulls Edwin’s rope as fast as possible.
MONICA: I was pulling that rope like there was no tomorrow.
Wow. How many more abused Canadian cliches can you use, Monica?
That is being calm by her standards.
– Daichi & Sawaka, Paula & Natasha, and Brett & Kinar are at the airport. Everyone is on the 1:25pm flight. Brett says there are only three minutes to make the flight.
Outside. . .
Inside. . .
– All eight teams are on the 1:25pm flight. The last two teams show up as we see a ‘Gate Closed’ sign. The agents tell them there is no more space.
– Allan narrates that the eight teams are traveling 2, 394 kilometres from Singapore to Manila.
Wah wah wah waaaaaah.
– Allan tells us that Edwin & Monica and Henry & Terri are on the second flight at an undisclosed time.
– Evening in Manila. The eight teams are all shown going into taxis. Rovilson tells us that he thinks the other teams will be taking a busier route to the next clue box wile they are taking a route that will avoid significant traffic. Marc says the Philippines are the heart of the tropical isles.
And this Heart is saturated because there is even a KFC in the distance.
– Kinar asks driver for the best route. Paula & Natasha are guessing where to direct their driver. Marc & Rovilson run into the torrential downpour and have the clue first. Pamela & Vanessa are seconds behind. They read that they must find a balut seller in Plaza Miranda.
A balut seller, eh? I am sure whatever task they will make them do with a balut seller will be a breeze.
Unless you ask Bobby Jon, of course.
– Once there they read that they must eat eight balut each. Eat eight balut each. Eat eight balut each. The infamous Filipino delicacy that is an unfertilized duck egg.
ALLAN: Some people refer to it as an aphrodisiac.
Wanna get Quacked?
– The leading two teams get back into two taxis. Kinar squeals at the driver to go faster. The high-pitched squeal goes on for two seconds longer than necessary. Marc describes the appearance of a balut.
– Other teams are on the street looking for the clue. The MILFinators forgot to bring a jacket.
She could free up those hands if she was willing to turn that tarp into a cape.
– Diane & Ann are third. They beg to be in a taxi. Adrian & Collin are fourth into a cab. Collin is visibly pained by the idea of having to eat balut.
– Natasha wonders why Brett & Kinar and Daichi & Sawaka are running across the street to take clues.
– Diane does not want Ann to talk about what they will be eating to the point that she plugs her ears.
La la la if I’m not listening it means I don’t have to eat it. . .
– The teams talk about their strategies to eat the balut. Paula & Natasha and Singaporean Sophie & French-Born Aurelia have the clues too. All eight teams are in cabs.
BRETT: Do you know what an aphrodisiac is?
BRETT: Aphrodisiac means it gives you a bit of a sex drive.
Kinar’s face lights up.
“Great! Because we really need to spice up our relationship!
KINAR: Oh really? Like if you eat. . .
BRETT: Oyster or tiger p—s.
Wow. This is supposed to be a family show yet here we are with Brett giving us a lecture on all of the foods that can excite you sexually.
KINAR: Or lamb.
BRETT: Yeah. Lamb.
Well, we know what excites Kinar now. Waiter, let’s order up some lamb! Chop chop!
– Paula & Natasha read up about the balut. Ann asks the driver to go faster in a polite manner as she points out the cars passing him.
– Pamela & Vanessa show up to the stall. Time for a fistful of balut. It is raining cats and dogs. Vanessa starts dancing away as she chews.
A bit of Mrs. Heidik in her.
– Marc & Rovilson show up.
ROVILSON: You’re on top of the world then all of a sudden it comes crashing down when you see another team in front of you.
Jesus. You are second out of ten teams.
– Pamela makes fun of how well she and Vanessa did compared to Marc & Rovilson who are struggling. They read that they must head to Fort Santiago. It is the pit stop for this round of the race.
Wow. Just one task then off to the pit stop? I guess it could have been worse by being an equalizer and have it all come down to a taxi or balut.
– Marc & Rovilson are done. They do not know how to get to Fort Santiago. Marc decides it would be bright to hire a jeepney.
Yep. The same type of WWII military vehicle that we saw in TAR 5.
– Adrian & Collin consume balut. MILFinators show up next. Adrian silently picks up the clue.
Look at the crowd that has formed. Tropical rain does not stop them from watching foreigners (and a few locals) eat balut.
– Marc describes Pamela & Vanessa as being inhuman. Rovilson is embarrassed. Pamela describes the crunchiness of the beak.
– French-Born Aurelia does not know what an embryo is. Singaporean Sophie explains what it is to her.
– MILFinators Diane pukes out some of the balut. Brett & Kinar eat alongside them. He coaches himself and Kinar to drink water between bites of balut.
Luckily not as much as Jen.
– MARC: We love clues that say ‘find your way’ because we will find ANY way.
ROVILSON: We will crawl, we will skateboard, rollerblade, bungee jump,
MARC: We will get on the back of an old granny and say ‘yee haw!’
Uh, how about just taking a taxi? Stop trying to re-invent the wheel.
I feel bad for the sound and camera operators who have to fit into that as well.
– Pamela & Vanessa have exited the cab. Pamela accidentally hit her ear as she closed the door. They start running. Marc & Rovilson can taste it as Rovilson runs alongside the motorcycle. Not sure what good it is doing as Marc exits and they run towards the pit stop.
FIRST: PAMELA & VANESSA
Why, a pair of Nokia phones of course! Vanessa talks about the start of the round when she said that she -knew- she would win this phone.
– Marc & Rovilson hit the mat.
Filipino Rocky dance.
Rovilson prepares to flip off Allan if he is not team number one.
SECOND: MARC & ROVILSON
They are disappointed, but take the second place finish.
– We are shown the airport. Henry & Terri and Edwin & Monica each have taxis. Terri plugs her ears when Henry talks about being last.
– Brett keeps saying the word ‘aphrodisiac’ as Kinar finishes. Their pit stop “rest” period will be interesting. Kinar has a cab. Adrian & Collin finally have one of their own. So do the MILFinators.
– Daichi & Sawaka are lost. Sawaka thinks she sees a church.
– Commercial break. Daichi & Sawaka get all the commercial lead-ins to themselves.
– We resume. Sawaka laughs about being lost. French-Born Aurelia talks and chews throughout the task as she describes the atmosphere and the taste. Singaporean Sophie makes fun of her for being able to talk and chew simultaneously like no one else before.
FRENCH BORN AURELIA: I thinkz I needz zum water unless you want me to puke the rest of eet up.
– French-Born Aurelia requests some cake as they have the clue. She celebrates when she sees Fort Santiago on the clue because they have already seen it.
– S Sophie and FB Aurelia are listed as being seventh after reading the clue. That does not make sense because Paula & Natasha and Daichi & Sawaka are behind them. Then there is Edwin & Monica and Henry & Terri at the back of the pack.
– Paula & Natasha are at the task. They struggle to swallow it. Wow. A super vomity sound effect is heard when Natasha swallows it.
Even my own esophagus wants to reverse when I hear that sound.
– Natasha informs Paula that it is Japanese tea. Right on cue Daichi & Sawaka show up.
– Adrian & Collin try to communicate with their driver. Somehow they are back at the airport. Adrian tells us that they wasted twenty-five minutes because of that error. You live and die by the taxi driver.
– Natasha tells the crowd to cheer. They are motivated.
ONE MEMBER OF THE CROWD: C’mon baby, chill!
– Natasha is amazed that they are in a new country only earlier that afternoon. Paula says she has never been so introverted as she zens out to complete the task.
– Daichi jokes it is delicious. Sawaka rejects that notion. Henry & Terri find the clue box. Edwin & Monica get directions to the complex. Then they ask for the location of the clue. From there they must take a taxi to the balut task.
MONICA: Eat eight ballot eggs.
EDWIN: What are ballot eggs?
A ballot egg being held.
– Natasha calls for one more cheer as they finish. Paula thanks the crowd as they have the clue. Daichi & Sawaka are done seconds later.
NATASHA: Taxi metre! Taxi metre! Taxi metre!
– Singaporean Sophie yells at her partner in the taxi for non-stop talking.
That is not happening, it seems. Well, whatever ‘neckered’ means.
– Several taxis in the cluster drop the teams off. They are all running.
THIRD: DIANE & ANN
FOURTH: BRETT & KINAR
FIFTH: SINGAPOREAN SOPHIE & FRENCH-BORN AURELIA
– Paula & Natasha and Daichi & Sawaka are shown being in a taxi race. Not sure why we are seeing a race for sixth.
– Henry & Terri show up to the balut stall. Henry thinks the other players view him and Terri as the old team. He does not really care, and will ensure he will do every task no matter what other racers say.
They are feeding each other balut. How romantic.
For whatever reason, this woman is disgusted.
– Henry takes the clue. He coughs loudly before reading the clue. Edwin & Monica are at the task. Terri shouts at Henry for not being able to flag down a taxi. They argue over where to stand according to the word of a man.
– Monica is uttering vomity burps. Terri continues to scream at Henry because she will not walk with him further up the road. Henry kicks the air in frustration.
– Adrian & Collin finished the task in third, but yet are still circling around the city in a cab. Daichi & Sawaka’s driver does not know the location as the driver gets out to ask.
If Japan still had control of this country, they would speak our language!
– In Paula & Natasha’s cab, Paula pumping her fist up and down between her legs makes it look like she is performing a crude act.
That is as much as I am willing to show.
– Paula & Natasha are running on the streets.
SIXTH: PAULA & NATASHA
They are stoked to be sixth.
– So how are Edwin & Monica doing after the task has ended?
So she takes the bucket with her!
– Henry & Terri are in the cab.
HENRY: The strategy of BADUBUBUBUB. Mellow mellow at first!
TERRI (plugging ears): MELLOW MELLOW MELLOW.
TERRI (confessional): Even if they pulled my teeth and told me not to talk for two hours, it’s not gonna happen.
Dang, you’re gonna kill Henry’s ears with your constant jabbering at that rate in no time.
– Edwin & Monica have a cab. She does not have her bucket with her. I assume it was against the rules to take it from the premises.
I don’t know why, but whatever Edwin wiped from his mouth is freaking him out at the moment.
– Two more teams exit the taxis.
SEVENTH: ADRIAN & COLLIN
– They are not impressed. Remember how Luke won the first leg of TAR 14?
COLLIN: 3 LUKE: 1
Ladies and gentlemen, it is anyone’s game after round one.
EIGHTH: DAICHI & SAWAKA
– The last two teams are shown leaving their taxis even though it has to be at least twenty minutes apart.
NINTH: HENRY & TERRI
Suck it, Edwin & Monica!
LAST: EDWIN & MONICA
ALLAN: I am sorry to tell you, you’re the last team to arrive. I have some more news for you. . .This is a pre-determined non-elimination round.
Edwin is too stoned to react.
ALLAN: However, there is a flipside. You must be first at the pit stop at the next leg. Otherwise you will incur a thirty minute penalty which will put you in last place. Do you understand?
EDWIN & MONICA: . . .
ALLAN: . . .No?
– Monica says things cannot be worse than this round. Edwin agrees.
No kidding. You finished last. How can you be worse? Will an eleventh team be introduced?
Next Time on TAR: More sponsours as we travel deeper into the Philippines.
SINGAPOREAN SOPHIE.FRENCH-BORN AURELIA 3.2
Rank the Legs:
1) Singapore, Singapore -> Manila, Philippines
This was ten times better than the opening round from TAR Asia 1.
Go-karting and descending a mall is replaced by eating balut, flying to another country, no equalizers, and a wicket 181 metre high tower traverse. I should also note that the teams are a bit more compelling and more extraverted than the crowd gathered for the first season. No Sahil & Prashants or Sahrans.
The only slight con is that Marc & Rovilson occupied more than a quarter of the airtime while the first place team, Pamela & Vanessa, were shown half as much as them.
Oh, and the tricky non-elimination in the opening round for the second season in a row was a nice fakeout by production. We also see the introduction of the TAR 10/11 non-elimination penalty being introduced to the East.