The Amazing Race 13 episode 4 ranking

bolivia mark 2

Still catching his breath from the last round.

Previously on TAR: Nine teams excluding Anthony & Stephanie set out from Fortaleza, Brazil to La Paz, Bolivia. Before the leg began Christy levelled an accusation at Starr that carried into La Paz.

At the Detour Christy took a tumble, and rivals Nick & Starr made an offer to Aja & Cabbie that wasn’t well-received.

At the roadblock Mark struggled with the high altitude while Aja spilled the beans about Nick & Starr. In the end Ken & Tina came in first and Mark & Bill came up short. Eight teams remain. Who will be eliminated next?

– Intro time. Nick & Starr’s dance during the intro gets increasingly dumber as the season goes on.

nick starr intro 2

Ugh.

– We are introduced to La Paz, Bolivia after some music pulled straight from 3 Ninjas or Karate Kid.

miyagi lesson one

Miyagi tired of being referenced in American reality television.

– We are reminded it is 13, 000 feet above sea level. It’s the world’s highest capital. Now that’s neat. A hilltop park was the third pit stop in a race around the world.

hilltop hood

As opposed to a hilltop hood.

– I know what we are all expecting: To be heading to Europe or Africa right now. When TAR heads to South America, we either head to Brazil for two rounds and one other country before venturing eastward or a pair of Argentina rounds compared with two rounds before heading eastward.

So because of this 12-season precedent, it’s time to head east.

flight of the conchords

The one time I make a pop culture reference that nobody will get. I saw these guys in concert four years ago. True story.

PHIL: All teams arrived at the end of the last leg for a mandatory rest period, and while most of the teams caught their breath. . .

bolivia mark

PHIL: . . .Kelly & Christy confronted Nick & Starr.

CHRISTY: And we were like ‘Starr, we know you asked Cabbie & Aja to U-Turn us.’

new zealand aja cabbie

The rat.

new zealand kelly christy

And we know that being the first team to cause all of this drama at each pit stop for the first time since TAR 2 will get us on the next all-star season.

STARR: I tried to talk to her and see if I could mend anything.

new zealand kelly christy 2

Hrm, no.

CHRISTY: If you want to play the game like this, we are not going to be nice to you. So don’t try to fix it.

I doubt Kelly & Christy haven’t been terribly nice to other teams anyway.

new zealand kelly christy 3

I refuse to believe Kelly frowns this often. Maybe she always puts a sour candy in her mouth?

STARR: Now things are even worse.

new zealand nick starr

Who knew Kelly & Christy would bully us once we pushed their sports bra out the window and publicly asking other teams to U-Turn them!

new zealand kelly christy 3

CHRISTY: You don’t even know what you just opened.

A window to let some cool air in but accidentally let a sports bra fall out. :/

– Once again we return to a land of teams that behave normally and are remotely likeable.

Well not that likeable considering the first team we see is Ken & Tina, who arrived at 1233pm (apparently from newspaper to the pit stop mat was no more than six hours), will depart at 1233am.

Ah the good ol’ days when teams consistently left twelve hours after checking in.

new zealand ken tina

Tina’s forehead alone has proven to be a better kisser than Terence.

fortaleza ken

Ken will never live that one down.

– Tina must have to jump at least a foot to kiss Ken’s mouth.

– Ken & Tina read that they must fly more than 6, 900 miles to Auckland, New Zealand

paolo intro 2

Good thing Mama Paolo is wearing Depends as she watches from the couch.

amish 7

Okay, okay! It was just a joke.

amish 8

I bet the Paolo Family cranks up the volume to ’40’ when they watch The Amazing Race because they spend too much time screaming over each other about their favourite kind of lasagna and about phone books.

cho bros shirt

We’re off to New Zealand! Chos are ready to ambush and claim their reward.

– Once in Auckland, a town already visited during TAR 2, teams must drive themselves to Gulf Harbour. Once there they must untie a Gordian Knot.

new zealand gordian knot

This would be my nightmare task. Except for TAR Costa Rica where you have to sell yourself on the street to fifty year old American male tourists.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordian_Knot

Yeah. I had to look it up. The impossible knot.

james miller

James learned this in the Navy.

coach warrior

It’s as impenetrable, unbreakable, and unyielding like me.

– Once they untie the knot they will receive the clue inside.

– Ken says they turned a corner last leg. Turned a corner? You matched your first place position from last leg. You stayed the exact same. He thinks they are doing much better at taking care of one another.

– Toni & Dallas. 1259am. Okay, Dallas really sets himself up here.

DALLAS: I think my mother sees me more and more as an adult throughout the race and that I can make smart decisions.

new zealand toni dallas
And they could very well be husband and wife.

colby

There’s no law in Texas that’s stopping them!

– DALLAS: I don’t even know where New Zealand is.
TONI: Why didn’t I pay for Geography class!

How do you not know where New Zealand is! It’s west of Australia. C’mon.

TONI: He’s got brains. I know they are in there somewhere.
DALLAS: I am college educated.

new zealand toni dallas 2

Eh, I don’t think we have to worry about a lack of geography knowledge when on The Amazing Race. Just know your history and you’ll be good to go.

stalin

Oh crap.

DALLAS (interrupting voiceover): Well we’re looking good!

eric japan tunnel

The voiceover reminds me of Eric & Jeremy’s dubbing of a Japanese action flick. It feels so out of place. You may as well ask Yau-Man to talk about lemon trees.

– Ken & Tina show up to the airport. They know everything will be closed except for Internet. They find a 355pm flight.

new zealand mayo

There’s gonna be mayo on this flight? Bonus!

But seriously, do you notice how Ken saying the flight leaves at 355pm doesn’t quite match up with 17:00 on the 24 hour clock shown on screen?

– 104am. Terence & Sarah.
– 105am. Marisa & Brooke.
– 106am. Aja & Cabbie.

Guess which of the three teams had a facially expressive reaction?

new zealand sarah

And you would be correct. Am I the only one who wishes that the pit stop stand would start talking to the teams? Just one of those things could be electronic and freak out the other teams once in a while.

marsha the moose

A bit like Marsha the Moose from Big Brother Canada. Oh Trevor Boris.

– All three teams flag a taxi.

– 107am. Nick & Starr.
– 108am. Andrew & Dan.

– Holy geez. Five teams departing one minute after the other? I can’t recall the last time that teams checked in one minute apart. For some reason a part of me would like to say that more than five teams checked in one minute apart during the second round of TAR 4. Someone out there ought to do the research.

– Sarah says her and Terence have adjusted to each other’s styles.

(new zealand terence sarah)

Translation: Sarah has adjusted to Terence’s (hair) style.

SARAH: We need to buy a book on New Zealand.
TERENCE: We’ll see.

Sarah’s reaction is priceless.

new zealand sarah 3
new zealand sarah 2

Best. Glare. Ever.
simpsons lenny

We’ll see? That always means no.

– Marisa is excited for New Zealand. They exhale in a cheesy fashion.. Brooke thinks that her and Marisa are realizing that if you can push yourself then you can do anything.
new zealand marisa brooke

Except be declared something more than “Southern Belles” in terms of occupation.

MARISA: I wonder if they like blondes in New Zealand.
BROOKE: I’m sure they have blondes. We’re not like rare.

maori

Blondes are indeed rare. We sell you for thousands of dollars on the Green Kiwi Market! Oh-ah-ha-ha-Oh-ah-ha-ha.

– AJA: Dating long distance–

Oh great. Another confessional about dating long distance. It’s not like we’ve heard that for the past three episodes in a row.

michael kathy

At least this couple was allowed to have more confessionals outside of referencing their long distance dating. In fact these two served as narrators.

Unfortunately for Aja & Cabbie, it’s long distance dating or a brief cameo during the fight between Kelly & Christy and Nick & Starr.

– Aja says every minute is exhausting now that they are closer together.

AJA: We’re trying to find the thin line between pushing the person and pushing them hard and not pushing them hard to hurting their feelings.

new zealand aja

Oh, a solo confessional for Aja. A first for this season. She pretty much looks down the whole time.

– CABBIE: You know last time we definitely followed the pack which bit us in the butt.
AJA: I swear if you say ‘bit us in the butt’ one more time I might jump off a cliff.

new zealand aja cabbie 2

That is such an unexpected saying to become too repetitive for someone to handle.

– Starr says her and Nick are pushing each other and don’t take anything personal while on the race.

new zealand nick starr 2

Starr, purple top on top of dark blue top on top of light blue top with a grey coloured-eyebrow bandana is a hideous fashion choice.

Nick, what’s with the camouflage and yellow 60-year-old-fisherman’s ball cap? And I hope you get kicked off the theatre company that puts on The Book of Mormon musical.

Hey, you said you wouldn’t take anything personal.

– She goes on to say her and Nick have formed an adult relationship.

colby

Now I’m not here to judge anybody, but I think that’s crossing the line.

– Starr freaks out about needing maps at the airport.
laura map

holly and brett

Dammit! How are they already there?

– Dan says that his desire can be mistaken for frustration. He wants to take over as a leader so much and that he has an equal opportunity partner on the race.

new zealand dan

cochran
Dan’s shirt makes Cochran’s sweater vest look fashionable.
new zealand andrew

I look like a cross between Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen. Shouldn’t that get me airtime?

ANDREW: This isn’t the Dan Show. This is Andrew & Dan on The Amazing Race.

Actually it’s The Amazing Race featuring Dan. And I guarantee you Arizona State Baseball is a beer league if Andrew is a member.

new zealand dan

DAN: New Zealand. I know Phil is from there and they are into kiwis.

new zealand taxi

Oui oui, kiwi?

– Dallas complains about his slow cab. Terence & Sarah kiss upon passing mother-son’s slow cab.

Hopefully Toni & Dallas’ cab doesn’t overtake their cab and lead to a Toni-Dallas kiss.

– 120am. Kelly & Christy depart in dead last. Okay, it’s hardly dead when five of the other seven teams began twelve to seventeen minutes before you. Heck, Ken & Tina must have had a flawless run if their twenty-six minute lead on Toni & Dallas is more than the distance between Toni & Dallas and Kelly & Christy.

If Mark & Bill didn’t have that penalty, I bet they would have been starting at 109am and keep this ridiculous streak. Hopefully this round teams are more spread out.

– KELLY: We really like all the teams. The only team we don’t like is Nick & Starr.

Then why don’t you smile once in a while and prove it!

massari

For starters smile for him.

loon

What’s the sense in brushing your teeth if you ain’t gonna smile?
I know you hate Starr’s bein’ bad,
but you gotta love how this race is wild,

massari sidekick

After all these years I still don’t understand who this guy is.

massari sidekick 2

And here he is in ANOTHER music video! Who the heck is this guy?! Why is he riding in the passenger side of his best friend’s ride? What a scrub!

STARR: We want to see them go home.

Who is ‘them’? Crafty editing, producers.

– Terence & Sarah are second to the airport. They ask for Internet access. Aja & Cabbie and a ton of other teams all show up.

– Dandrew borrowed somebody else’s laptop. This does not go unnoticed by Nata–Marisa & Brooke.

– Dandrew says the one team they bonded with happens to be Marisa & Brooke.

ANDREW: The one team we have bonded with the most has to be Marisa & Brooke.

DAN: I don’t think they’re one of the stronger teams so I don’t mind keeping them around. And it doesn’t hurt that they’re cute either.

vanessa celina

You rang?

new zealand andrew 2

It’s two o’ clock in the morning. Dan, let’s drag them to a club, get a few drinks, use the money to rent room then–

japan r kelly

Take it to your room and —– somebody!
new zealand marisa
Not happening.

– Kelly & Christy giggle at the back of the line as they can observe everybody on the Internet in front of them digging up flight numbers.

TINA (to STARR): If somebody copies us I’m gonna be really pissed.

– I guarantee you that Kelly & Christy will complain about how other teams don’t do their own work.

– Aja feels everyone will be battling for the 355am flight. She wants to wait in line. Cabbie sits on the Internet. She wants to do her own thing. Cabbie says they can’t do their own thing when she keeps fighting him and her attitude.

cabbie

Just have a Kit Kat Chunky and everything will be fine.

– He says her mood changes come into play when she’s frustrated. Cabbie eventually gives in.

CABBIE: Okay, Leader. Okay, Fidel. I’ll call you Fidel Castro.

– Nick and Dan talk. They both briefly sum up that everyone will be on the 355am flight. Meanwhile Aja & Cabbie’s fallout continues.

new zealand aja cabbie 3

Look at the LONG DISTANCE between their seats, and the LONG DISTANCE between them and the camera.

– They have an argument about her attitude. She admits her attitude causes problems when something doesn’t go her way. Somehow they make up.

new zealand aja cabbie 4

Face palm.

new zealand aja cabbie 5

Aja hands out her next order.

new zealand aja cabbie 6

She follows it up with a right hook to the stomach.

CABBIE: Why? Because you’re a dictatin’ to me to give you a hug?

Cabbie follows it up with a stellar line.

new zealand aja cabbie 7

Unfortunately you cannot get those shirts directly imported into the United States. You can pick them up in Canada or Mexico, though.

– Morning arises. Kelly tells us that everyone got on the same flight because Tina arranged for a bigger plane.

– Ken complains that his half hour lead is lost. Jesus. It was one o’ clock in the morning when you got to the airport and the teams were close together. At least Mark & Bill took the equalizer like champs. Do you know how rare it is for thirty minute leads to pay off?

new zealand ken

Ken goes from kissing Terence in the airport one round to scratching his butt in front of the other teams in the following round.

This guy is really comfortable with himself.
.
.
.
Too comfortable.

– Everybody proceeds with their UFC hype about how it will be an all out war once they land.

– It’s night time in Auckland. Terence & Sarah first into a car. Sarah recaps the task for us. Dandrew are second thanks to their seats. Ken & Tina are next into the cars right behind them.

DAN: We are in a Terence & Sarah and Ken & Tina sandwich right now.
fortaleza ken

Not a sandwich I wish to picture beyond this image.

– Tina says to follow the other teams.

– Kelly & Christy are fourth.

CHRISTY: We’re gonna get our next clue and kick some a–heiney!

Nice recovery.

– Nick & Starr are fifth in their vehicle.

NICK: I just want to get there. I don’t care where Kelly & Christy are.

Unless they’re ahead!

– Aja & Cabbie sixth. She reminds him to drive on the left side of the road.

Everything is so backwards in New Zealand. Can’t even drive properly.

– Toni & Dallas seventh with Marisa & Brooke on their tail.

– Terence asks Sarah for some love as he drives. He asks her to touch him.

Wow. Needy. It’s like two o’ clock in the morning. Give it a rest.

new zealand andrew

You’re even worse than Andrew. You already have a girlfriend. Andrew is just looking to break a 23-year virginity streak.

– He asks Sarah to play with his hair.

bolivia terence sarah 2

Very few people have the honour of touching Terence’s devil horns.

– Ken & Tina pass Dandrew on the road to move into second.

new zealand ken tina 2

I hear she tells great Halloween stories.

And I bet she traded in her eyeballs on the plane for bigger eyeballs.

DAN: They passed us bad.

nick brown

He passed Dandrew bad. He passed Dandrew pretty bad, Terry.

– Nick figures out they are going in the wrong direction. Starr goes inside a gas station to ask for directions. Aja sounds dead tired as Cabbie pulls alongside with Toni & Dallas. Dallas initially drives on the wrong side of the road much to the amusement of Cabbie and Toni.

– This is the first round of the season where teams have been forced to drive themselves around. It is the first true test of navigation for all of the teams this season. I always prefer teams driving themselves as opposed to luck-based taxis.

– Marisa & Brooke pull over and ask for directions.

new zealand marisa brooke 3

I think I know what he’s saying. . .

– They are given directions by a man who imparts some wisdom regarding his own words:

new zealand marisa brooke 2

– Sarah directs Terence to go to the marina on the right. Terence disobeys Sarah because he sees a sign pointing straight.

– Ken & Tina and Dandrew both turn right. Probably the first turn in all of Auckland.

– Terence notices both teams turned. Suddenly he follows Sarah’s lead.

SARAH: Make a U-Turn.

u turn

Only time you can use one on the race. Be careful!

– Cabbie recaps how arguing is not beneficial. They hear him run over something on the road. Cabbie hops Spiderman-like to check out the tire. He doesn’t know how to change a flat tire. Toni & Dallas and Nick & Starr pass them. Aja goes out onto the street to flag down for help. No cars stop yet.

new zealand flat tire

That’s not so bad. . .
ken gerard flat tire

Compared to this.

– We see Cabbie stare at the tire for ten minutes.
new zealand aja cabbie 8

The only guy in all of Michigan who doesn’t work well with cars.

– We come from commercial where a truck finally pulls over. He does all of the handiwork himself.
new zealand man

Looks like Mark Yturralde’s uncle based on his “hair”.

– Dandrew and Ken & Tina are first ones to the harbour. Ken works through the knot. Terence & Sarah suddenly show up. Sarah wonders why they are doing this in the first place. Sarah does all of the work.

– Dandrew is done. They read they must drive themselves to the top of Mount Eden which happens to be a dormant volcano. They must find its highest natural point to receive their next clue.

new zealand mount eden

Weird city design.

– Ken & Tina meanwhile read the Fast Forward clue. How could that possibly fit within the knot?

new zealand

The two pieces of route info must be a kilometre long.

– In this Fast Forward teams must head to the tallest structure in the southern hemisphere–The Auckland Sky Tower. Make their way to the top and retrieve an item to receive the clue.

sahran cry

Sahran’s personal favourite task from TAR Asia.

– Phil notes there are only two Fast Forwards on the entire race. I wish one day they would bring back the classic strategic format of having the Fast Forward on each leg. Otherwise whoever is in the lead will always go for it because there’s only one or two all season.

– Ken & Tina are in the lead and going for it. So are Dandrew. Terence asks Sarah if she wants to do the Fast Forward. She shoots it down for obvious reasons.

– Kelly & Christy begin on the knot. Christy shoots down the Fast Forward too. Toni & Dallas show up and reject Fast Forward. They start driving.

DALLAS: This person is on the wrong side of the road.
TONI: Are you sure you’re on the right side of the road?

andy smile

I wouldn’t drive on the wrong side of the road. C’mon, I know I wouldn’t be that reckless.

new zealand toni dallas 2

There’s brains in there. . .somewhere.

– Nick & Starr show up in sixth.

– Ken & Tina follow the signs to Sky City. Dan pumps Andrew up for a foot race. Ken & Tina park ahead. Andrew parks beside an elevator. Ken & Tina take the ‘#1’ ticket. Dandrew sees the marked car and they drive back.

– Nick & Starr done the knot. Aja & Cabbie are incoming as they leave.

– Tina confirms she cannot fall off, and repeats her fear of heights. Yeah, just like the task in TAR Asia.

– Terence sees the clue box. Sarah is annoyed because he hasn’t parked the car on Mount Eden. They get out and get the clue. It’s a roadblock.

– All about Maori culture. Except Phil pronounces ‘Maori’ in a weird fashion.

new zealand phil

But seeing how he is from New Zealand, he probably knows how to pronounce it properly.

new zealand maori

All Maori must know how to cup themselves.
joe onosaijoe onosai 2
And know this dance.

– In this roadblock they must choose an image on a board and match it up with the facial tattoo of one of the Maoris in the haaka/haka/hakaa demonstration.

It’s pretty much a redux of a the roadblock in TAR 4 episode 2. Once they match it up they will receive their next clue. If not, he will take it and run away.

new zealand maori 3

The first sighting of a Jewish Maori!

new zealand maori 2

No idea what this means. Do you receive the clue or not when one of the guys does this?

– They’re all dancing and yelling. Terence is frightened. All it took was a guy waving a staff. Sarah instructs Terence to go up and down the rows in an orderly fashion. Terence offers up a board. The guy takes it and runs away.

– Aja & Cabbie are finished the task. Cabbie has faith in them as a team. We see Ken & Tina doing the roadblock. Terence offers up the board for a second try. They receive a clue. Sarah tells Terence to do something familiar.

new zealand sarah 4

THIS is why Terence didn’t want to interact with other teams in the first place!

new zealand terence

Mover over Ken, Terence ain’t no Heismann Trophy Wife.

– They read they must drive into Auckland and find the City Life Hotel. The clue awaits on the rooftop of this downtown building.

– Now this is perfect. Terence talks about how crazy it was.

TERENCE: That was nuts! It was the craziest thing I have ever done!

The camera pans slightly upwards from Terence’s car to a sight from the summit of Mount Eden. . .
new zealand 2

I think Ken & Tina may have one-upped Terence’s game of Maori Tattoo memory.

– Dawn is approaching.

dawn meehan

Now’s the time to get off Twitter.

Just for the record, I think Brenda was a huge jerk for doing this.

– Kelly & Christy couldn’t find access to the summit. So they decide to park at the base and go for a jog.

new zealand kelly christy 4

Time to go for a morning jog before the kids wake up for school. Something our husbands wouldn’t let us do when they were controlling us!

– Dan tells Andrew that they must drive up. Toni & Dallas reach the summit. Toni is doing the easiest roadblock thus far.

DALLAS: When I saw my mom with those Maori warriors, the first thing I thought was “please don’t eat my mom”.

If you said that to a First Nations group here in Canada, it would make national headlines.

– Kelly & Christy run up the road that could fit a car.

– Toni giggles when her face touches the Maori’s face.

TONI: You’re beautiful!

She even mothered the Maori warriors. Classic.

– Terence & Sarah reach the top of City Life Hotel.

SARAH: Gnome spotting.

Ah, time for TAR’s longest running sponsour! The only acceptable form of sponsourship in reality TV is if it is based upon tradition. Just like car rewards in Survivor.

– They must scan the area outside the hotel using binoculars to see a gnome sitting on a chair.

new zealand gnome

Sitting on a chair drinking wine? This is the craziest thing I have ever done!

PHIL: They must find a gnome doing New Zealand wish list activities.

New Zealand has its own official Wish List? What a pointless thing to be made official.

new zealand binocular

A dream teamer points himself out to his friends.

– On the bottom of the gnome is their next clue. Therefore they must take the gnome with them.

bill gnome

Don’t break it, Bill! There isn’t an exemption inside these ones!

– SARAH: Let’s do it in a systematic way.
TERENCE: Let’s start with the parking lot.
SARAH: I say do it in a systematic way and you go sprinting off in the other direction. You’re seriously killing me.

sandlot

You’re killing me Smalls!

– It gets windy. Ken points out that the tower is swaying much to Tina’s dismay.

– Marisa & Brooke show up last to the marina. Forgot about them. They pass by the Gordian Knot. In broad daylight. Seriously. All other teams did it when it was pitch black. It couldn’t be more light out if the sun tried.

new zealand marisa 2

The knot is impossible to tie because you can’t see it in the first place.

– We go to commercial. They find the knot and begin untying.

– Kelly & Christy run up to the summit. Dandrew drive alongside them. Marisa & Brooke finish the knot.

ANDREW: Why are you running? It said drive.
KELLY: We decided to walk.
ANDREW: Okay, cool.
DAN: ‘We decided to walk’? Hahaha.

new zealand dandrew

Wanna lift?

– It’s all uphill too so Kelly & Christy are going to be absolutely drained.

– There is a Travelocity Stationary Gnome as they reach the top. Ken retrieves it. He is touched by Tina.

– Christy and Andrew are doing the roadblock. She says she’ll have nightmares about the warriors.

new zealand maori 4

lickitung

He’s like a human Lickitung.

new zealand maori 5

ymca

You know you’re having fun when you’re hangin’ with the M-A-O-R-I

– Christy succeeds.

KELLY: She got it already?

Must have taken seconds. They need this lead because they have to run all the way back down.

– Andrew succeeds. He hesitates to touch noses with the warrior. They have the clue. Apparently Kelly & Christy preserved the lead.

– Sarah spots a gnome on the top of another rooftop. That is probably the furthest gnome away because you can’t even see it on screen from the hotel. Toni & Dallas find one right away that was already on the chair.

– Ken & Tina have finished the Fast Forward. They can now skip all tasks and head directly to the pit stop–Summerhill. They will ride by helicopter.

– Terence & Sarah enter an elevator. Terence asks Sarah to trust him. Toni & Dalls enter an elevator and aim for the 17th floor. They enter a parking garage.

phua chu kang

More confusing than his apartment building.

– Terence & Sarah scale a ladder and reach the rooftop. For some reason they use suspense music for such a random task in the middle of the episode between two leading teams.

– Sarah reads they must drive themselves to Puke Whakatane and find Kiwi 360 degrees.

kiwi

I thought it would be Phil Keoghan in a room full of cameras. Or a report by Anderson Cooper. Oh well.

– Starr is doing the roadblock. She fails the first time.

– Dan asks Andrew if he knows the gnome from the commercial. Andrew spots it on a bench. They pass incoming Kelly & Christy.

– Starr succeeds at the roadblock. Aja is now doing the roadblock.

– Dandrew have the gnome.

– Kelly & Christy and Nick & Starr have a heavily edited showdown at the binoculars. They don’t even talk to each other. It is the most oddly spliced scene with voiceover that I have heard in my life. Nick & Starr beat them at the task.  Kelly & Christy soon follow. Aja is done the roadblock. Ken & Tina enter the helicopter.

helicopter

Only way to see New Zealand.

– Ken & Tina keep talking about their relationship.

– Brooke is doing the roadblock. She plays with the warriors.

– Nick brags about being behind Kelly & Christy before passing them.

– A warrior kisses Brooke after giving them their clue.

– Kelly & Christy read the clue in unison. Aja & Cabbie see the gnome in a hot air balloon.

new zealand gnome 2

Oh, you got me just before takeoff.

brandon bino 2

Twice as effective as Brandon’s binoculars.
new zealand gnome 3

The binoculars do the job.

– Ken & Tina emerge from the helicopter.

john keoghan

They see a pit stop greeter who matches Phil’s height. And relatively same weight. Same length of feet. He looks a bit fancier. Same skin tone. Huh. Strange. I guess all Kiwis look alike.

new zealand ken tina 3

There is no build-up. We Ken & Tina run for half a second before our jaws drop to the floor. Here is the most random TAR cameo of all time:

john keoghan 2

GREETER: Hi, I’m Phil’s dad. Welcome to New Zealand.

It would be so much better if he said “You are the first couple I have ran into today.”

You know, to trick teams into thinking that the Keoghans welcome everyone into their home in the order of their arrival.

1ST: KEN & TINA

We get a random shot of a sheep.
new zealand sheep

“Hey guys, I think it’s Phil’s dad!”
“Shut up, Greg. Move along.”

john keoghan3

I guess today was Bring Your Daddy to Work Day.

family 1

Most unnecessary use of a family member on TAR since Amazing Race: Family Edition.

– They have won a trip for two to Rio de Janeiro. Yet another visit to Brazil. It’s seven nights. Tons of snorkelling and a trip to Sugar Loaf Mountain.

NOTE: Ken & Tina have won three legs in a row. I am surprised we weren’t shown mentioning this feat considering it ties the record for best winning streak with Colin & Christie, Romber in All Stars, BJ & Tyler, Tyler & James, and Bransen Family.

Some of these teams have won four out of five legs, six out of nine legs, four out of six legs, etc. but nobody has yet to put together a four leg winning streak.

And so far, Ken & Tina were going to certainly pull it off now that they began the season by finishing 2nd-1st-1st-1st.

Only Eric & Jeremy has matched such a strong start to the season.

There is absolutely nothing that they have done wrong up to this point. Nobody has proved themselves to be as well-rounded as they have been. We over a third of the way through the season and the audience agreed that this is Ken & Tina’s race to lose.

– Aja & Cabbie have their gnome.

– Marisa & Brooke show up to the hotel.

– Sarah reaches the clue box. Terence asks her to wait for him. They open the clue. It’s a Detour. Sarah attempts to open the clue.

TERENCE: Babe, you can’t open the envelopes. You’re very bad at it.

lol. Even micro-managing envelope opening skills. It’s like Charla & Mirna all over again.

new zealand phil 2

In this Detour, teams need to choose between two tasks each with their own pros and cons:
Pick Up My Groceries or Entertain My Dad.

In Pick Up My Groceries, teams must go to the local supermarket to pick up groceries for a dinner I am preparing tonight with the Keoghan Family. They will pick up:
1 dozen eggs
1 five pound bag of potatoes
1 large jar of mayonnaise
1 small jar of mustard
1 bag of red onions. . .

In Entertain My Dad, teams must pick him up from my front lawn where he is currently hovering around me in an annoying fashion. Teams can take him out bowling or, I don’t know, watch a rugby game. Once the day is over they will receive their next clue.

john keoghan3

JOHN: Are you sure they’re team number three, son?
PHIL: Yes, dad. They’re team number three.
JOHN: I could’ve sworn you were four. Hey, can you go ask your mom if we have to hang out with the Montgomerys for Cards night? Oh how I hate the Montgomerys. Did you know Peter invested all of his money into–
PHIL: Dad, I’m trying to do my job here.
JOHN: I know, I know, I know. I’m just saying IF there’s time–
PHIL: Dad.
JOHN: Okay.
PHIL: . . .
JOHN: Maybe after the day is over we can go out for drinks. You know, me and you–
PHIL: Dad!
JOHN: Alright, I know, you’re busy.
PHIL: God.
.
.
.
.
Okay, I’m just f—ing with you. In this Detour teams must choose between a Matter of Time or a Matter of Skill.

– In a Matter of Time, teams must drive themselves to a kiwi orchard where they must crush enough kiwi to make enough kiwi juice.

kiwi

Not the greatest texture.

new zealand al
At least nothing will be as disgusting as Al’s hairy size fourteen feet making the juice.
new zealand al 2

That’s right, I mentioned you Al.

new zealand al 3

Woo!

– Once they fill the basket with their foot-stomped kiwi juice, they will then consume one glass of their footmade juice to receive their next clue.

– In a Matter of Skill, teams must drive themselves to Blow Kart Heaven and assemble a pair of Blow Karts. Then they must sail the Blow Karts for three laps around the track.

– Terence wants to crush kiwis. Sarah says that twelve quarts is a lot (dang Imperial measurements). I’ll take her word for it. Toni & Dallas opt to stomp kiwis.

– Toni, Terence, and Sarah use the word ‘babe’ six times in ten seconds.

– Terence & Sarah show up to the orchard. She squeals repeatedly. Terence instructs Sarah to check the spout is not jammed. Toni & Dallas are next to the orchard.

SARAH: Bucket is lined with a layer of jagged rocks then there were these hard stubborn kiwis.

bolivia phil
Refuses to change his mind about anything.

– Dallas complains about his feet being cut up.

– Marisa & Brooke spot the gnome. I am curious if they were screwed because only one gnome was available.

– Toni & Dallas’ spout is clogged. He cannot see what is clogging it. Marisa & Brooke have their gnome. Sarah points out kiwis hurt.

TONI: This seemed so much easier when Lucy did it.

kris lucy

Yep. This is the grape stomping task from TAR 6 where Kris mentioned Lucy as well and proceeded to make the Lucy Face.

news fall reporter

Sadly no one knew about her until after TAR 13 aired.

– Terence & Sarah are done. They drink the kiwi juice. Sarah reads they must drive to Summerhill, a 1, 000 acre sheep farm. It’s the pit stop for this leg of the race.

– Toni is shocked that Terence & Sarah are done. They decide to switch the Detour.

– Dandrew decide to crush kiwis because Dan states they both have big feet. They pass an outgoing Toni & Dallas.

DAN: How is it, guys?
TONI: It’s a lot of fun.

new zealand toni dallas 2

There’s a liar in there somewhere. We know there is.

– Nick & Starr want to stomp.

NICK: I have always wanted to stomp the s— out of a bunch of fruit.

– Kelly & Christy opt to crush kiwis too.

2ND: TERENCE & SARAH

– There is a slight pause at the mat.

new zealand phil 3

PHIL: Say your f—ing line, dad. ‘Welcome to New Zealand’ just like we went over a thousand times.
.
.
.
JOHN: I’m Phil’s dad.

new zealand phil 4

Oh. How. . .nice.

new zealand phil 5

This is why I went to work in American television.

– A couple squeals from Sarah and they are done.

PHIL: Terence & Sarah. . .
TERENCE: Yes, Phil. . .and Phil’s dad.

new zealand phil 6

PHIL: You’re team number two. . .I’m going to go shoot myself.

– Toni & Dallas start putting the karts together. Nick and Dan complain about the pain in their feet.

DAN: Why did I wear pants today!

Dan says that statement on a daily basis.

– Nick & Starr and Dandrew both switch tasks. Kelly & Christy ask NICK for directions. He tells them because he wants them to suffer and be cut up.

– Backfires. Kelly & Christy say the kiwis are tension relieving.

CHRISTY: These kiwis are exfoliating our legs and like tension-relieving balls underneath our feet. It was fun.

new zealand kelly christy 5
Who knew a conversation about balls would be the first time we see Kelly smile all season.

– Nick & Starr see Toni & Dallas. Starr tells Dallas that his feet better be as cut up as hers. Toni & Dallas’ Blow Kart is put together.

new zealand kart

That looks like fun.
karts 1

Maybe we’ll see it in Mario Kart 9.

new zealand kart 2
phil kart

Linda Weaver is terrified because her husband died in a Blow Kart accident.

chamillionaire
new zealand kart 3

johnny depp
The New Zealand Blow Kart Kingpin.

– Dandrew has done the switch. Dan complains he is mechanically challenged. Starr is shocked that Kelly & Christy haven’t switched.

– Kelly & Christy are done the task. Toni & Dallas are finished 3 laps. Aja & Cabbie show up to the Detour.

DAN: I’m not a mechanical guy. I look like an idiot right now.
new zealand andrew 3

DAN: Give me sports trivia and I’ll beat everybody!

kellie schwab 2

Shaking in his boots as we speak.

– Instructor tells Nick & Starr to not put their hands out. And they’re off.

new zealand starr

tobias

Starr Spangler, you blow hard!

– Aja & Cabbie are crushin’ kiwis. Cabbie counts how many teams have done it as they run along the stations but Aja interrupts him loudly and says it’s not important. He doesn’t want her to raise her voice.

– Marisa & Brooke choose to crush kiwis because they like Kiwis.

3RD: KELLY & CHRISTY

– Dan tries to coach Andrew but he shushes him like the Gracie Films credit.

You know you have watched too much TV when you say “I’ll shush you like a Gracie Films credit”.

– Nick & Starr finish first lap. Starr is on to level two.

new zealand starr 2

This is so much fun, Nick!
new zealand starr 3

Weaver’d.

new zealand starr 4

You alright?

new zealand starr 5

STARR: It hurts so bad. I think I broke my arm.

Now that’s just funny.

– Starr cries in the exact same tone as Rachel Reily’s laugh. Now this is hilarious.

4TH:TONI & DALLAS

new zealand toni dallas 3

colby

YES!

– Nick & Starr finish the 3rd lap. Dandrew struggle putting together the Blow Kart. Nick examines Starr’s arm. What’s worse is that she’s the driver.

new zealand starr 6

It looks pretty cut, Terry.

new zealand starr 7

Driving with one arm should be fine.

– Dandrew are done the first lap. Aja & Cabbie are in agony as they keep squeezing the kiwis. Starr cries about the pain. Surprise, surprise, she gets Nick to drive. She continues Rachel laugh-crying in the backseat.

– AJA: I’ve never been so discouraged in my life.

Needless to say they switch Detours.

– Dandrew are done the third lap. Andrew says it is the turning point because Dan knows he needs him moving forward.

5TH: NICK & STARR

Phil points out that Starr is nursing her arm.

– Aja & Cabbie start putting together the Blow Karts.

6TH: DANDREW

PHIL: Andrew & Dan, you’re team number six.

DAN: Sixth?! I didn’t even think we were seven!

ANDREW: Thank you, Phil’s dad!

new zealand andrew 4

You think after four rounds of racing that Andrew’s beer belly would be gone.

– Dan is equally excited about Phil’s dad.

new zealand dan 2

DAN: I love you, man! You’re my dad, too!

Phil pulls a rare breaking of the fourth wall.

DAN: It’s our best finish!

new zealand dandrew 2

DAN: This is our best finish!
Best finish is sixth after four rounds?

don mary jean intro

Still ain’t got nothin’ on Don & Mary Jean.

– It’s night time as Marisa & Brooke is crushing kiwis. Cabbie’s Blow Kart is vetoed because of an incorrect knot. It’s still incorrect. Marisa & Brooke are halfway. The Blow Karts are approved. Wow. It wasn’t even dark when Dandrew checked in. Now it’s pitch black. They must be several hours behind.

– Editing attempts tricking us by showing both teams finish simultaneously. Now it’s a road race. Aja and Marisa & Brooke insist they are thinking positive.

new zealand 3

A bunch of Andre & Damons stand in front of Phil & John.

– Suspense music.

7TH: AJA & CABBIE

They are relieved. Aja praises God. . .

new zealand aja cabbie 9
LAST: MARISA & BROOKE

MARISA: We’re just two girls from South Carolina trying to get around the world.

And they sucked at it.

new zealand joe

Is this what they call. . .a blonde?

– John Keoghan has some impure thoughts on his mind.

new zealand joe 2
JOHN: I think these two girls deserve a hug.
PHIL: Dad. Don’t.
JOHN: Sorry Phil, it’s not every day that a Kiwi gets to touch a Southern Peach.

new zealand joe 3

JOHN: So this is what you call fuzzy peaches from across the pond, eh son?
PHIL: Dad. . .you’re embarrassing me. Why did I ever let you do this. . .

Next Time on TAR: Terence gets in trouble with the law. And Kelly & Christy’s behaviour becomes a nuisance.

CONFESSIONAL COUNT

TONI.DALLAS 2.4
NICK.STARR 1.2
KEN.TINA 5.2
AJA.CABBIE 3.2
MARISA.BROOKE 1.2
ANDREW.DAN 3.4
KELLY.CHRISTY 2.5
TERRENCE.SARAH 0.3

Rank the Legs:

1) La Paz, Bolivia -> Tauranga, New Zealand

This was by far the greatest designed round from the first four episodes of the season. It wasn’t a five hour day once you entered the country like the first three rounds.

Teams started before dawn and didn’t finish until just before or just after dusk.

That made the round a big grind. Dandrew, Starr, Aja & Cabbie, and Marisa & Brooke all suffered from the attrition of the round. Heck, Starr was hysterical by the time she hit the pit stop with what she thought was a broken arm.

This was easily the toughest gnome finding task of the season. Teams appeared to take several minutes before spotting a gnome several blocks away. Remembering its location and figuring out how to get there once you left the rooftop seems much more difficult than simply searching for it in a hole or around a Lithuanian house.

The roadblock irked me because it took no longer than a minute total. Too bad Amanda & Chris weren’t around to take forty minutes.  The only thing to make up for the task’s easy difficulty is that the Maori warriors intentionally messed with the minds of contestants.

I loved how Starr had to pay the price for what she did in the previous round and once again couldn’t get Kelly & Christy off their back. What’s even funnier is that Nick pretended to help them when really he wanted them to suffer. Then Kelly & Christy end up demolishing the task to make Nick’s diabolical plan blow up in his face.

Given that Detour tasks have seemed really easy thus far, it is no wonder why so many teams switched out from the kiwi crushing to the Blow Kart racing. I think Blow Kart racing was neat because I never knew vehicles like that existed in the first place. New Zealand is truly the capital of adventure sports.

Also, I enjoyed the task of undoing the Gordian Knot. No idea why it had to be done in New Zealand specifically but it was neat regardless.

And lol @ Kelly & Christy running up the entire summit for no reason.

All in all it was a fun round. Sadly the last fifteen minutes of airtime plays out really rushed when you watch it. You’ll notice the choppy commentary in my episode blog for this round but that is because we switched scenes every four seconds. No joke.

Plus. . .PHIL’S DAD!!!!!

2) Salvador, Brazil -> Fortaleza, Brazil

Funniest round of TAR in a long time. Everyone delivered.

a) Tina’s sense of entitlement and telling everybody and their mother that they single-handedly increased the size of the plane even though it was really because Kevin Smith was on board

b) Terence being such a mixed bag of right and wrong and crybabyitis. This leg was all about Terence & Sarah from start to finish. He is simultaneously hated and loved by every team.

c) Kelly & Christy continue their quest of inspiring everyone on this season to make horribly dumb decisions. Oh, and did you know they are divorced?

d) Nick & Starr play such an antisocial game because Nick’s sphere of caring does not lie outside of Ken, Tina, and Starr. Also, forcing Starr to kiss seamen is downright amusing.

e) Anthomania. Anthony’s obsession with failed cars.

f) Marisa & Brooke pretty much acting like twelve year olds as they run through the race. I mean, handing out candy and squealing whenever they saw nudity on the beach.

g) The Detour was fairly creative. Even if one of the options was a mirror of a Detour from eight seasons earlier.

The only issue I had was the lacklustre roadblock. But seriously, the huge errors and personality quirks that the teams suffered from makes this an incredible episode from start to finish.

3) Los Angeles/Where else? -> Salvador, Brazil

The least memorable tasks in a premiere ever? I forgot about baristas, churches, military base, boats, and the descent.

Heck, the only memorable task before I watched this episode was Dandrew crawling up the steps, but that’s because Dandrew can make anything they do memorable. Even if they eat a bowl of Cheerios they would be more interesting than any other team doing anything except Anthony & Stephanie.

But seriously, Dandrew isn’t the only redeeming factor to balance out the uninspired and rehashed tasks this task. There was a lot of hilarious moments of foreshadowing and character interactions that are downright entertaining. In fact. that essentially takes over the episode.

Perhaps the reason why the competition aspect doesn’t engage us is because all eleven teams check in within a space of about eight minutes.  It was far too chaotic for the viewer to follow. That’s what happens when the pit stop is barely a minute away from the end of the Detour. If I was an editor I’d have a tough time making it cohesive on screen.

Get used to appreciating the characters while they last. Anita & Arthur are a fitting first team to be eliminated and made enough of a contribution to the series.

Lastly, this episode receives a major positive boost because Anthony & Stephanie survived, and frankly back when this season originally aired in 2008, that is what we all only cared about.

4) Fortaleza, Brazil -> La Paz, Bolivia

(The round was too short. Seriously. We needed ten minutes spent on Sports Bra Gate. At the time it seemed relatively minor, but in the grand scheme of things we never knew it would forever change the series. After this season teams would no longer be able to mingle with each other at the pit stop.

It’s funny because Christy could have slammed a door too hard, or the wind could have picked up to blow away the sports bra. If Starr really did it, she should have her house egged for making pit stops seem extremely bland for these past five years and making teams estranged from one another.

Newspaper reading wasn’t original given that we saw it as a task just six episodes ago.

The Musical Marching seemed rather bland for a Detour option. I hated that the speed of the musicians was not a fixed speed and differed from crew to crew. They should have been forced to keep up with the speed of the teams.

I can see why Phil Keoghan and Bertram both hyped up the fast wooden bikes. That looked like by far one of the most dangerous tasks in TAR history. I was expecting a team to get med evac’d. Christy is very lucky to escape with a few scratches and bruises.

I am curious how much more exhausted Mark & Bill would have been if they stayed in the high altitude longer. Despite being given a drink to deal with the altitude, teams really had a tough time with being focused or handling the physical tasks.

The roadblock was neat. It is one of the few times where judging was objective. You either fit the criteria or you didn’t. The funny capes and costumes must have been a hoot to wear.

It is too bad that the round ended on a bummer of a note as Mark & Bill check in seventh but a time penalty allowed Fan Least Favourites Kelly & Christy to pass them.

Oh, and did we mention this is the round where Nick continues his quest to be the first edited sociopath in the history of TAR? Prepare to watch TAR’s equivalent to Lord Heidik continue to go through the race.

P.S. lol. Nobody used the U-Turn despite all of the hatred being present.)

Rank the Teams:

1) Anthony & Stephanie

So awesome. So incredible. So amazing. Anthony inspired all of Brazil to become car mechanics after the opening two rounds. Brazil celebrates Anthomania on an annual basis.

And Stephanie sure loves thinking about her s–ty apartment and finances. Also, she likes putting things in perspective.

2) Mark & Bill

You know how I said at the start of the season that the long-term cast has far less likeability than TAR 12’s high standard?

Well, Mark & Bill’s premature elimination is a big reason why. Just think of all the big stars so far after three episodes. Nick & Starr? Kelly & Christy? Ken & Tina? Terence & Sarah? NONE of them had any fans at the time.

The only other team shown as much as them after three rounds? Mark & Bill. I can tell you that Mark & Bill had ninety percent of the viewership while Nick & Starr picked up the remaining ten percent (primarily the youth flamboyant demographic at the time).

If there was a 39 Day Survivor Challenge for TAR and the category was ‘Most Disappointing Early Exit’, I can safely say that Mark & Bill would be in the top three vote getters. Bilal & Sa’eed and Lena & Kristy would round out a top three if I was evaluating upon the thirteen seasons we have re-watched thus far.

If Jodi Wincheski was on TAR 13 instead of 14, there is no doubt in my mind that she would have brought back Mark & Bill for Unfinished Business.

It’s a shame that Mark & Bill are in high altitude and screw up reading a clue in a round where the whole round played out within three hours of the newspapers being dropped next to Simon Bolivar.

If you can get your hands on their elimination episode, note Phil’s reaction when he eliminates them. It’s one of the few times where Phil adds in his rare ‘sorry to see you go’ on top of eliminating them. When Phil says that it is a good indication of his personal favourites as well as production discreetly liked.

Unfortunately a bad hour of gameplay can send your favourites to the rail.

Much like the elimination of the Gaghan Family in TAR 8, the season takes a sharp change in tone from this point forward. Because Mark & Bill’s “straight edge” attitude is taken away from the equation, it is now a battle of the goofy and incompetent teams against a group of bland sharp racers.

Recalling how bummed out my mother and sister were when Mark & Bill was eliminated is one of the few things I remember from TAR 13 that doesn’t involve marching. And if you were watching TAR 13 at the time, I can guarantee you were bummed out as myself and the other teams were.

It’s too bad Kelly & Christy chose to learn how to read that round.

3) Anita & Arthur

You know those friends you have who say they are hippies just because they go camping every once in a while and have picky tastes? Expose them to Anita & Arthur if you want to shut them up. Hippies in the truest sense. Their two jobs all occur outdoors in the wilderness. Self-reliant. Old school. Probably have run more than one grow-op in their day.

I must admit they look a lot like my uncle did for several decades. Facial hair and, well, regular hair is the best of anything I have seen in TAR, Survivor, and Big Brother.

Unfortunately they don’t have a personality that would captivate enough of the audience on TV. I remember watching a deleted clip online where they lost their clue for two minutes as they search between the seats and their fanny packs in the taxi. They did it in a calm manner, found the clue, kissed, and moved on.

That’s why it was a deleted clip.

Super nice people and big fans of TAR. I am happy that production cast them. It is probably one of the few non-mactor teams that will be most remembered for their looks.

4) Marisa & Brooke

Natalie White and Brooke. Candy. Funny expressions. Least competitive racers. Only reason they were accepted onto the show is because Joe Keoghan was a casting director for this season.

This is the drawback to casting a team without any life experience. Neither of them demonstrated any abilities or attributes that could tell producers that they could be competitive on the race.

Sure enough this oversight by producers led to a 10th-9th-4th-8th run for this team. It’s not their fault. I would go on a trip around the world for four rounds even if I knew I had zero skills. Production clearly wanted “two blondes” to be put on the race. They were a less flirtatious version of Danielle & Dani from TAR 9.

If Marisa or Brooke dated Nick or Dallas, they could be the next TAR All Star winner by Danielle’s criteria.

Team Averages

Bulls—
Bilal & Sa’eed N/A
— F minus–
12th Debra & Steve 12.0
12th Gina & Sylvia 12.0
11th Anita & Arthur 11.0
11th Ari & Staella 11.0
11th John Vito & Jill All Stars 11.0
11th Vipul & Arti 11.0
11th John & Scott 11.0
11th Ryan & Chuck 11.0
11th Team Seinfeld/Avi & Joe 11.0
11th Dennis & Erika 11.0
11th Deidre & Hilary 11.0
11th Matt & Ana 11.0
10th Lisa & Joni 10.0
10th Kevin & Drew All Stars 10.0
10th A Black Family 10.0
— F +–
10th Anthony & Stephanie 9.5 (Why them?????)
10th Megan & Heidi 9.5 (Wow. They sucked.)
10th Kate & Pat 9.0
9th David & Mary All Stars 9.0
9th Peggy & Claire 9.0
10th Meredith & Maria 9.0
10th Dennis & Andrew 9.0 FF
9th Marianna & Julia 8.33
10th Russell & Cindy 8.33
8th Don & Mary Jean 8.2
10th Kellie & Jamie 8.0
10th Kim & Leslie 8.0
8th Danielle & Dani 7.8 – Yielded
8th Marisa & Brooke 7.75 – Sucked.
9th Jim & Marsha 7.33
8th Aiello Family 7.0
–D minus–
8th Tom & Terry 7.0
8th Dave & Margaretta 7.0
9th Lena & Kristy 7.0
10th Hope & Norm 7.0
9th Rogers Family 6.5
8th Susan & Patrick 6.5
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43
9th Wanda & Desiree 6.25
7th Paul & Amie 6.2
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF
6th David &Mary 6.13 FF
–D+–
10th Ernie & Jeena 6.0
11th Amanda & Chris 6.0
6th Andre & Damon 5.86
7th Dave & Lori 5.83
5th Kami & Karli 5.8
8th Michael & Kathy 5.8
7th Cyndi & Russell 5.8
7th Shana & Jennifer 5.8 Used U-Turn
9th Heather & Eve 5.75
5th Nancy & Emily 5.67
6th Gaghan Family 5.5
10th Alison & Donny 5.5
6th Tian & Jaree 5.43 FF
8th Sahil & Prashant 5.4 FF
–C minus–
4th Meredith & Gretchen 5.36
7th Monica & Sheree 5.33 FF
7th Marshall & Lance 5.33
9th Debbie & Bianca 5.33
7th Gus & Hera 5.29
6th Joe & Bill All Stars 5.25
8th Bob & Joyce 5.25
8th Lorena & Jason 5.25 U-Turned
7th Silver & Gold 5.17
7th Ray & Deana – 5.0 FF
7th Melody & Sharon 5.0
9th Steve & Josh 5.0 – FF
9th Pat & Brenda 5.0 – FF
9th Mark & Bill 5.0 – Wah.
5th Fran & Barry 4.89
6th Howard & Sahran 4.88
–C + —
3rd Lyn & Karlyn 4.85 – Yielded
5th John Vito & Jill 4.8 – FF
7th Teri & Ian All Stars 4.83
7th Schroeder Family 4.75
6th Lake & Michelle 4.71 – Used Yield
6th Brian & Greg 4.71
5th Erwin & Godwin 4.70
3rd Adam & Rebecca 4.69 FF and Used Yield and Yielded
9th Duke & Lauren 4.67
5th Lori & Bolo 4.6 – FF
2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF
5th Uchenna & Joyce All Stars 4.33 – FF
8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF
–B minus–
3rd Ray & Yolanda 4.23
3rd Nicolas & Donald 4.18 FF and U-Turned
4th Linda & Karen 4.17
3rd Charla & Mirna All Stars 4.15
6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.)
5th Paolo Family 4.13 FF and Used Yield
5th Lynn & Alex 4.11
5th Andy & Laura 4.00 – Yielded
3rd David & Jeff 4.00 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny 4.00 – FF
5th Gary & Dave 3.89 – FF
2nd Kelly & Jon 3.85
1st Zabrina & Joe Jer 3.77
2nd Sandy & Francesca 3.77 – Used Yield
4th Jon & Al 3.73
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71
–B+–
3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF
5th Kynt & Vyxsin 3.63 Used Yield
1st Eric & Danielle All Stars 3.62 – Yielded Twice
4th Mardy & Marsio 3.58 FF
6th Jonathan & Victoria 3.56
4th Joseph & Monica 3.50 – Yielded
3rd Andrew & Syeon 3.46
1st Freddy & Kendra 3.46 – Used Yield and Yielded
2nd Ronald & Christina 3.45
4th Nathan & Jennifer 3.40 – Never finished in 1st
1st Chris & Alex 3.38 – FF
1st Chip & Kim 3.38 – Used Yield
4th Kevin & Drew 3.36 – FF
3rd Brandon & Nicole 3.31
1st TK & Rachel 3.18
4th Godlewski Family 3.18
4th Dustin & Kandice 3.17 – Used Yield
–A minus–
7th Peter & Sarah 3.17
9th Aubrey & Jacqueline 3.17
3rd Weaver Family 3.15 – Yielded Twice
1st Reichen & DK 3.15 – FF
1st Uchenna & Joyce 3.15 FF
4th Derek & Drew 3.10 – FF
2nd Rob & Kim 3.08 – FF
3rd Ron & Kelly 3.00 – Yielded
6th Azaria & Hendekea 3.00
4th Hayden & Aaron 2.92
2nd Dustin & Kandice All Stars 2.92 – Used Yield
2nd Bransen Family 2.85
1st Linz Family 2.77 – Used Yield
3rd Joe & Bill 2.76 – FF
–BEST OF THE BEST–
8th Rob & Amber All Stars 2.75 – Used Yield
1st Flo & Zach 2.69 – FF
3rd Ken & Gerard 2.69 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny All Stars 2.67 FF x2 and Used Yield
2nd Colin & Christie 2.54 – FF and Yielded
2nd Tara & Wil 2.53 – FF
1st Rob & Brennan – 2.46 FF
1st BJ & Tyler – 2.46 FF and Used Yield
1st Tyler & James – 2.38 FF
2nd Frank & Margarita 2.38 – FF
2nd Kris & Jon 2.38
2nd Rob & Amber 2.31
2nd Eric & Jeremy 1.69 FF

Combined Team Averages (Repeats Only)

11 legs David & Mary 6.91 FF
11 legs John Vito & Jill 5.36 FF
18 legs Danielle 4.78
19 legs Teri & Ian 4.63 FF
13 legs Kevin & Drew 4.38 FF
20 legs Charla & Mirna 4.00 None
21 legs Joe & Bill 3.71 FF
22 legs Uchenna & Joyce 3.64 FF x2
*31 legs Eric & Danielle 3.48 FF
23 legs Oswald & Danny 3.30 FF x3!
25 legs Dustin & Kandice 3.04 None
26 legs Eric 2.65 FF
17 legs Rob & Amber 2.41 None

* I determined Eric & Danielle’s average in this last section by adding up all of their individual points from TAR 9, then adding up their total points in All Stars and dividing it by 31.

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