The Amazing Race 13 episode 1 ranking

THE AMAZING RACE 13
—-

COUNTRIES VISITED

BRAZIL – BOLIVIA – NEW ZEALAND – CAMBODIA – INDIA (AGAIN, SADLY) – KAZAKHSTAN – RUSSIA – USA

– And welcome to a brief introduction of The Amazing Race 13 before we dive into the episodes with funny observations and screen caps.

Does that list of countries look really short to you? Well, it should because this season visits the fewest countries other than Family Edition. Granted this is only one of two seasons to have as low as eleven legs, but it holds the record regardless.

On paper this season looks like it has a near identical format and casting as with The Amazing Race 12. However, all of the teams are a weaker version of what we saw in The Amazing Race 12, and slightly less dynamic people. No Goth couples, grandparent-grandchild, surprisingly strong father-daughter team, and over-the-top dating couples who have their eye on the prize.

Much like TAR 6 looking like TAR 5’s casting leftovers, TAR 13 has TAR 12’s casting leftovers.

There are two things that are pioneered in TAR 13:

a) Permanent September-December slot for odd-numbered seasons, and permanent February-May slot for even-numbered seasons. Look at the season airdates for each of the first twelve seasons. No pattern is maintained for more than a year at a time. TAR 12 ended in January. Because of TAR not finding solid ratings until TAR 12, the show never had the security that Survivor has had for its 27-season run.

But yes, starting with TAR 13, the rotation is set in stone. Was it because of TAR 12’s awesome ratings?

Yes and no. The break between TAR 12 and TAR 13 is roughly eight months. In fact, the time between TAR 12’s premiere date and TAR 13’s premiere date is just under a year. So the ratings really did nothing to bring out a new season anytime soon.

So what did? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the writer’s strike of 2008. For people who love reality TV, this was a dream come true. Why is that?

Because all scripted TV shows were put on hiatus. Your favourite dramas and comedies either had shortened seasons or were cancelled for a year altogether. No writers means you can’t produce those shows. Every major network on television was affected. So what is the solution to this huge cut in programming? Order several more reality TV shows or additional seasons of course!

This led to such things as Big Brother 9 having a winter season that did nothing more than fail an oxycotin ring, and revived the only civilian season of The Mole that has aired since 2001 in North America. The biggest explosion of reality TV shows since 2001 was in full effect during 2008. Of course many of these shows didn’t gain a foothold simply because the reality TV explosion already had its day. Scripted shows that needed a break after a decrease in writing quality would return after the strike as the writers had a full year to think of brilliant plots and storylines (season 7 of 24 namely comes to mind).

Following the writer’s strike, The Amazing Race has failed to lose momentum ever since. The Amazing Race 23 is only weeks away as the pattern created during the writer’s strike is maintained.

And what is the other thing pioneered?

b) This is the only season to do it, but teams go on a South America-Oceania-Asia-Europe-North America trajectory. TAR 10 is the only other westward season, but they went straight for Asia. TAR 13 is another westward season that will become increasingly common in the future, but never before had they gone into South America before journeying across the Pacific. Three of the seven countries visited outside of the US makes this season have a very strange race route that will likely not be repeated ever again.

– I keep saying TAR 9 – TAR 13 is the transitional era. Last season I established that every twist invented in TAR 12 becomes permanent. Every formatting change occurs because of TAR 13’s decrease in popularity and for the random incidents that occur.

a) You remember in the first few seasons of the series how teams were shown interacting at the pit stop or begging for money during TAR 5 and 6? Because of how weird it looked in the episode t show teams at the pit stop, and because it is dang expensive to record every single moment in long twelve hour pit stops, they haven’t been shown for the past few seasons. Heck, in TAR 12 Phil edits out the fact that teams mingle with each other at the pit stop.

So what’s the big change?

One team damages another team’s property at the pit stop. It is an ugly incident as the rivalry was at its peak between the two teams. Production made the decision after TAR 13 to never let teams talk to each other or see each other at the pit stop. I am guessing the complaints received by the team whose property was tampered with was enough to scare production to let anything like this happen again.

And no, Russell Hantz was not on TAR 13.

b) The intro music. Gone after this season. From TAR 14-present, the intro music is remixed with a harder rock sound. I didn’t like the change because I don’t find the remixed theme as pleasant to the ears. It definitely has a contemporary sound, but the arrangement doesn’t work as well.

c) The intro shots. Yep, that changes after this season too. Synchronized head swings just didn’t cut it anymore. Mild spoilers are the way to go when we see clips of racers on the race course during the intro after this season.

d) Font of the clues. After this season that changes too. Again, a font that looks more digital-ish. No comment there, really.

e) End of the 11-leg experiment. TAR 1-11 had 13 legs each season. TAR 12-13 dropped down to 11 legs. After this season production decides finding a compromise at 12 legs is the way to go. We’re very close to having more 12-leg seasons than 13-leg seasons.

f) Since TAR 10, production realized how dumb To Be Continued legs are. They give a major advantage to the team who came in last on the previous leg by not punishing them whatsoever. After TAR 13 we will see To Be Continued legs return every other season.

g) If you thought rounds that last only seven or eight hours was short, think again. TAR 13 takes it to a new extreme as some teams complete a full round from pit start to pit stop in. . .less than ninety minutes. This likely left little material for editors to use and decided rounds need to be longer than 90 minutes after this point.

h) Last season to show travel route without the aid of Google Earth. TAR always did it with their own map. After this season the classic map is replaced by a more detailed one. I thought Google Earth stopped being cool after 2006 or 2007, but TAR decided to get in on the Google Earth craze.

i) The last season to not add any additional layers to the permanent twists created in TAR 12.  The U-Turn will be tampered with next season. In the following seasons a couple more twists will be added to the franchise.

j) The first season since TAR 4 to make ZERO format or twist changes from the previous season. 5 brought in new twists, 6 brought in equal roadblock distribution, 7 added in harsher non-elimination penalties, 8 brought in families, 9 squashed family twist and introduced epic final tasks, 10 did a bunch of crap, 11 did all-stars, 12 re-formatted everything, and 13. . .did absolutely nothing new.

What’s left for me to introduce? The cast and the overall season itself before we get into the episodes and have a bunch of random jokes thrown in?

Why does the TAR 13 cast feel like leftovers from TAR 12? The cast is overall less intelligent compared to TAR 12. They are not as self-aware or as bright as they go through the race course. I know it’s not flattering, but this season is plagued by stupid mistakes and slow competitors from start to finish. Some of the banter between teams gets flat out ugly (as you will see with the pit stop incident that changes the series forever) and makes you feel like there aren’t many teams to cheer for. TAR 12 had the most likable cast in series history. TAR 13? Not so much.

How unpopular and weak is this cast overall? Well, it was one of seven seasons that could send a team to the next all-star instalment. Eleven teams from seven seasons. But guess what? TAR 13 is the only one of these seven seasons to not send a single duo to an all-star. Granted there was at least one team that should have been in all-star, but producers felt comfortable to ignore this season.

If TAR 12 is known as the season with likable teams and pre-game underdogs end up being dominators until the very end of the game, TAR 13 is known for the opposite.

The pit stop incident, the shortest rounds ever, and bizarre eliminations aren’t the most memorable things to come out of this season. So what are the general highlights that grabbed the headlines?

A couple of ‘meh’ teams will dominate ninety percent of the season. Neither team is interesting nor entertaining. The most dominant team ends up being a common trivia question that will be brought up until their record of domination is broken several years later. This is like a far less interesting version of the duel between Eric & Jeremy and BJ & Tyler, but with that duel BJ & Tyler slipped several times along the way. This is a case of two boring teams just slaughtering the competition.

There is one other highlight for this season that persists to this day: One team makes such a huge blunder that it overshadows the ending to the season. The mistake is so shocking that everyone at home universally face palms as they see it play out. What is incredible is that this major blunder will become shockingly common over the next several seasons.

The new countries and a good chunk of the tasks are great. That’s what redeems this season. Another redeeming factor is that the two most likable teams end up making a surprisingly deep run into the season. In fact one racer is declared the funniest racer of all time which is a great way to contrast with the largely unlikable crew that was assembled.

Is it a great season? No.
Is it a good season? Yes.
Will you be disappointed with it? Not necessarily. If you like bizarre moves and tasks, and love the stupidity of racers this season, you will love it regardless of who crosses the finish line first.

Out of any season to air after All-Stars, this is probably the lost gem of the series. It didn’t have the buzz of TAR 12, but doesn’t have all of the contemporary visuals, newer twists, and music that start with TAR 14 to the present. And because of  its exclusion in the next all-star edition, some could declare it to be underrated. It’s like the Survivor: Guatemala of the TAR franchise.

Unlike TAR 12, I have virtually zero personal memories to share before I sign off here. The only one I can think of is that this was my peak of watching the exclusive online clips that aired on CBS’ website.

Why do I bring that up? Because Phil does a pre-season clip of TAR 13. I remember his head hanging low as he says:

PHIL: The Amazing Race 13. Thirteen. Can’t believe I just said that.

This is a statement from exactly ten seasons ago. It’s funny to remember Phil and the rest of us in amazement as a franchise in its eighth calendar year has made it to a thirteenth season as if it is an unbelievable feat.

Fast forward to the present where the franchise is in its thirteenth calendar year and twenty-third season. We are exactly one year away from TAR 13 being the midway point of the series. For some reason the fact TAR has made it to season 23 now is nowhere near as impressive when thinking about TAR making it to season 13 back in 2008. I think the only way we’ll be in awe like that again is if we have a third-time racer or the series actually ends.

P.S. Los Angeles is the starting line for the second round in a row. And will continue to be the starting line for several more consecutive seasons.

First episode

dexter

Tonight’s the night, and it’s gonna happen again and again and again. I love endlessly blogging about The Amazing Race franchise. Celebrating reality TV’s past, those annoying creatures that have appeared on our screens over the past decade, and the not-so-good food that everyone is forced to devour. . .

And welcome to yet another season of blogging The Amazing Race.

Previously on TAR: Oh right. This is the first episode. Sorry, I did it out of habit.

griffith

TAR has started in LA so many times that their first shot is now the Griffith Observatory. They’re running out of LA landmarks. Keith Palmer is wired!

– Old school 1930s instrumental music plays as Phil introduces LA. I have never heard this soundtrack before. Epic.

la car

Last season teams rode 50s convertibles through L.A. This season teams ride in cars borrowed from Rockstar’s L.A. Noire.

la coliseum

The LA Coliseum is our starting point. This is where the final shootout from the second season of 24 was filmed.

– What’s so special about LA Coliseum?

PHIL: It is the only stadium on Earth to host the Olympics. . .twice!

And by TAR 25 will be the only stadium to host the starting line of TAR. . .twice!

la driver

The drivers all exit the cars in sync. Sadly these drivers will not have a surprise reunion.

– So it’s time once again for me to take two hours to introduce you to our beloved teams.

toni dallas intro
Toni & Dallas. There’s a noticeable age difference.

PHIL: Mother and son.

Mother and son team? Dallas must be gay then. In fact, the only parent-child team to not have a gay child is Christina from last season and Marsha from TAR 5.

But seriously, this is the second mother-son team in the franchise. Dallas must be gay.

toni dallas intro 2

james miller

I mean, look at those muscles! Working out at the gym all the time. . .

– They’re from northern California. I never knew a mother-son team would be mactors.

– Toni says she has been a single mom for all of Dallas’ life. She split up from her spouse right after Dallas’ birth because he was sent to a military base in Germany, and forgot his passport to return to the United States. He has been stuck in Germany ever since.

toni dallas intro 3

Nothing is worse than your mommy beating you at basketball.

– Toni is proud of the person her son has turned out to be. Dallas understands the sacrifices his mom has made for him.

toni dallas intro 4

Cheese and mayo sandwich? All you need is some maple bacon jam and you’re all set!

– Dallas says he will give every ounce of energy to ensure he does not disappoint his mother.

– So we’re done with one set of mactors. Onto the next?

nick starr intro

Something tells me they’re not in the military.

– This is Nick and Starr.

joey furby

Not Nick.

todd herzog

Nick after 39 days in the wilderness and putting on magic underwear.

– They are from New York and Texas. Siblings. Starr says her and Nick have a close personal bond.

nick starr intro 2

Who wants to be on Gleeee Club?

STARR: We usually get it.
NICK: We always get it.

nick starr intro 3

Mactor says smile?

– Who’s the next team that is shown running across a field?

ken tina intro

They love green.

PHIL: Ken and Tina. Separated husband and wife from Tampa, Florida.

Oh no. Separated couple? They always get along, right?

tara wil

Video quality has improved a lot since 2002.

ken tina intro 2

“Let me just pull this football back so I can show off my top-notch abs. . .”

– Ken says he was a pro football player for seven years.

ken tina intro 3

Tina wishes she auditioned for Survivor, be UTR1 for a few episodes before being eliminated, then come back for a second chance with her separated husband.

Instead she has to settle for one reality TV appearance.

KEN: I’ve made some bad decisions. I cheated on Tina.

nate jenn swimsuit

What does this remind me of?

ken tina intro 4

I love how editors intentionally pick the shot of them looking away from each other.

I can’t tell if it’s sand or snow on the ground. Something tells me they would dress like that regardless of sand or snow outside.

– TINA: After this race we’ll clearly know if we want to move forward with saving the marriage or go our separate ways.

Okay, robot.

– And that’s it for them. Who’s our next team?

aja ty intro

Oh my god, it’s Cabbie on the Street and his girl!

cabbie

Where’s his man B and his other man D?

PHIL: Aja and Cabbie! Dating . .
ME: from Michigan?
PHIL: Long distance.

I guess the fact they wore Michigan shirts requires no explanation in terms of where they are from. Well, how can they be long distance? Michigan isn’t that big of a state. One of them must be on the opposite side of the country or at least a couple states over.

aja ty intro 2

Get it? They’re long distance because we can’t show them together? Instead we resort to a 24 split screen and ask them to sing the lyrics to ‘Kiss Me Thru the Phone’.

– AJA: Being long distance proves you are stronger as a couple.

aja ty intro 3

What? Didn’t they just get off the phone a second ago?!

And long distance proves you are stronger as a couple?

michael kathy

Well, long distance couples haven’t done too well in the past. But it usually makes you a favourite in Logan’s books!

– Cabbie says he loves her and claims they are made for each other.

EDITOR’S NOTE: They break up within a couple years after TAR 13 is filmed.

aja tye intro 4

Such sweet sorrow.

– So who’s next on our list?

marisa brooke intro

Like oh my god, it’s a team wearing hot pink!!!1111<3333334444555.

PHIL: Southern belles from South Carolina.

Southern belles? That’s their occupation? Maybe they ring the Southern Bells at one of those fancy Bible Belt churches? Maybe the bells are below the belt? I don’t know.

But I’m guessing saying you’re a southern belle is a fancy euphemism for ‘unemployed’.

marisa brooke intro 2

jamie foxx

She take my moneyyyyy

– Prepare yourselves for the most random attributes ever promoted in a TAR audition tape.

BROOKE: Marisa and I we’re very classy. Always wearing purrrrrls.

marisa brooke intro 3

BROOKE: We’re into fashion. . .

BROOKE: And we like to bake cupcakes.

In two years this will become a popular game on your iPhone. Who knew making cupcakes could be so addicting outside of the electronic world!

marisa brooke intro 4

A sense of fashion and cupcakes. Such a deadly combination of skills to have entering the race.

winter is coming

Brace yourselves! The southern belles are coming!

goldberg

Who’s next!

Patience Goldberg.

dandrew intro

– Dan & Andrew. Fraternity brothers from Phoenix. The first team so far that don’t appear to be mactors or Californians. Dan is the one wearing a shirt that says ‘GIRLS’ (whether southern belles counts as girls is a mystery) and Andrew is wearing a yellow bandana taken from a NBA Jam collectible.

– The first thing we see from their audition tape?

dandrew intro 2

Two women also applying for TAR down the road. They aren’t virgins.

dandrew intro 3

And certainly didn’t lose it to either of them. I think it’s the first time Dan has taken his shirt off all summer. How is that even possible in a place like Phoenix is beyond me.

DAN: We’re fraternity brothers. That means we are into parties, girls, and booze.

dandrew intro 4

Read the shirt for future reference.

fez

Even the guy on the right has lost his virginity before these two.

ANDREW: The six-pack we focus on is the cooler not the stomach.

dandrew intro 5

That story checks out as Seth Rogen dumps him into the pool.

– Now for our next team.

anthony stephanie intro

This is Anthony & Stephanie. They will rank as one of the top ten teams in terms of personality all time, so you better get used to seeing these two faces.

PHIL: Dating four years from Los Angeles.

Moar mactors!

What do you need to see after a clip of them running in the coliseum?

anthony stephanie intro 2

Why, running on a beach with a dog of course!

– Stephanie wants to get married soon.

anthony stephanie intro 3

Anthony gives the camera a nice cold hard stare. You can’t see it, but the lens quivers in fear.

– ANTHONY: Stephanie tries to make things happen her way. . .or the high way.

anthony stephanie intro 4

Failure to commit to marriage? That’s a paddlin’.

– And that’s it from those two. Their saga has just begun.

anita arthur intro

Oh for god’s sake. This team screams ‘MACTOR’ with a capital ‘M’.

PHIL: Anita & Arthur. Mayor and his wife from Cherryville, BC.

tommy chong

Where did Anita & Arthur go, man? They’re missing out on a single-camera circle.

tommy chong 2

You mean they have shows with more than one camera, man?

kristen darren

Anita & Arthur have taken the hippie stereotype to a whole new level. Makes these two look like amateurs. Heck, Kristen & Darren are probably their kids.

– Anita & Arthur are married beekeepers. Beekeepers. The first and last beekeepers to ever be cast on TAR.

anita arthur intro 2

Their inability to remove a single strand of hair on their body is because they use none of their bee’s wax.

This audition gets better.

anita arthur intro 3

Modeling their new line of beekeeping clothes.

anita arthur intro 4

Roar! People that are lumberjacks always do well on reality TV!

timber tina

Well. . .at least they’re funny people, right?

red green

Er. . .maybe not.

anita arthur intro 5

This was their application video for Family Edition. They quadrupled Rupert Boneham’s hippieism.

– Now get ready for the shortest team intro in TAR history. It’s less than ten seconds. Heck, only one gets to speak. Somehow there are three frames I could pick up.

kelly christy intro

PHIL: Kelly & Christy. Friends from Texas who are recently divorced because their ex-husbands both said they were a b—- non-stop

kelly christy intro 2

And why is Christy shoving a camera down her cleavage? That’s just weird.

croatia vyxsin

I thought that only applied to Vyxsin.

kelly christy intro 3

Needless to say that Kelly is the more conservative one of the two.

kelly christy intro 4

What’s more impressive than them being in four outfits in less than ten seconds? How about the fact that Kelly frowned wearing all four of them, and Christy always looked crazy in each one.

Get used to that combination.

– Almost there.

terrence sarah intro

Terrence & Sarah. Newly dating from New York City. Athletes/mactors. Sarah is like a slightly more attractive version of Sarah Silverman.

SARAH: Terrence is the most quintessential free spirit I have ever met.

terrence sarah intro 2

He looks like a younger looking Skupin.

skupin

Yep.

– Sarah slaves away at the office while Terrence is paid to coach runners in New York City.

You coach people how to run? New Yorkers really throw their money away on anything.

terrence sarah intro 3

Run like a bike messenger? What does that even mean?

– Sarah says their differences will help them or kill them.

– So who’s last to run onto the field?

mark bill intro

PHIL: Mark & Bill. The only two big enough nerds to read this blog from San Diego, California.

I don’t understand the hats either.

– Mark says they are indeed the comic book geeks who you assume live in their parents’ basement, but wears the nerdiness like a badge of honour.

dave lori 2

They know this all too well.

mark bill intro 2

MARK: Seen a naked woman yet, Bill?
BILL: Nope. Seen a naked woman yet, Mark?
MARK: Nope. Seen a naked cyborg yet, Bill?

mark bill intro 3

“Bark at the Moon on Expert can kiss my ass! And I don’t even have carpel tunnel yet.”

mark bill intro 4

BILL: Guitar Hero is awfully tiring Markonius. It is time for us to play some Chess before we make our arduous journey to the apartment two floors down for a night of Dungeons and Dragons.
MARK: I don’t know Bill of Hyrule, but I think Logan is counting the number of freckles on your arm.

mark bill intro 5

BILL: The Amazing Race is the ultimate game on the biggest game board you can imagine.

What about Mortal Kombat? You can still play in the Underworld and uppercut each other into places in a parallel universe.

– Phil asks if teams can handle 33, 000 miles of stress, and who will come up with the classic combination of brains, brawn, and teamwork to win The Amazing Race. He says these questions are in a queue to be answered.

– Phil gives his usual speech.

la coliseum 2

They look so tiny!

– He talks. They cheer. He talks some more. “Does everyone understand?” “The world is waiting. Travel safe. Go!”

– Phil says the bags are on top of several steps. It looks like they get to drive a Mercedes to the airport. Nice. Not advertised, though.

la toni

Toni already attempts to embarrass Dallas.

rupert

And it hadn’t even started yet!

– Phil utters the two-letter magic word.

– They read to fly to Salvador, Brazil. There are only two flights to Salvador from American Airlines. Teams start scrambling to their cars.

la nick starr

How. . .? It’s only been ten seconds.

– Teams all pull out of the Coliseum in a long line.

la dandrew

la toni dallas

Eh, that will all change very soon.

TONI: Dallas we’re on the freakin’ Amazing Race.

– They proceed to sing “We’re goin’ to Brazil” before the almighty classic intro starts up for its final season.

Although I think the title screen is slightly different.

amazing race

Looks right to me.

– Rest of the intro plays. Savour the music, dammit!

maori

The first Maori member of KISS. I recognize him from somewhere though. . .

maori 2

Oh yeah. The Survivor: Samoa intro.

– When do they start putting subliminal messaging into the intro?

– Nick & Starr head south. Terrence says he grew up in LA and says traffic is awesome. I bet the race started early in the morning. Dandrew go to south. Andrew worked in the airline industry while in college.

– Toni says racing Dallas has taught her patience. Sounds like Dallas was a brat growing up.

– Tina orders Ken not to let anyone pass him. He obliges.

– Tina talks about how Ken cheating on her was a traumatic thing for her.

TINA: I have not let go of the past issues. I have forgiven but not forgotten.

Not letting go does not equal forgiveness.

brazil tina

“Even when I ordered him ‘do not cheat on me’, he did anyway.”

– Anita is driving. Arthur strokes his beard in the backseat.

la anita
How many influences do you think she’s driving under?

– Terrence is happy because he does not see any teams behind him. Sarah is slightly worried but trusts him.

– Tina orders Ken to pass Toni & Dallas. Then Tina orders him to pass Dandrew. He does. Aja tells Cabbie to get in the car pool lane.

brazil cabbie

See? That’s his real name.

– Nick makes an observation about the car next to him.

brazil mom and dad

Evidently, Nick is desperate for a parental figure because he chooses the separated parents. I bet Nick probably has divorced parents too. No wonder he identified them as ‘mom and dad’.

anita arthur intro

Or maybe it’s because it was either them or these two as Nick’s desired parental figures. Something tells me that neither of Nick & Starr’s parents dodged the draft into ‘Nam.

– Starr says her and Nick aren’t as well-travelled as some of the other older couples. All two of them.

– Tina orders Nick & Starr to pass. Suddenly first. Starr is initially frantic but Nick calms her down. Aja & T–Cabbie pass Ken & Tina on the road due to the wonders of the car pool lane. The teams all follow each other.

– ANDREW: We’re following the cute chick and the guy.

Andrew couldn’t admit Nick was cute?

– Aja & Cabbie search for American Airlines 252 flight. She doesn’t see a flag anywhere as they get in line. Mark & Bill are second with Ken & Tina and Kelly & Christy in the shuttle. They all search for a marked counter. Tina announces it must be flagged. They keep running.

– Mark & Bill identify the elusive flag. Tina instructs Ken to keep up. Bill finds out he is first. Tina jumps in excitement.

– Dandrew joins the unmarked line with Kelly & Christy and Aja & Cabbie.

– Cabbie is told by an agent that he is in the wrong line. Meanwhile Terrence & Sarah are third. Everybody freaks out over the unmarked counter. Suddenly they all scramble. It’s mayhem in the airport. Anthony decides to make a good first impression.

brazil anthony

I’ve always wanted to shove a Southern Belle.

– Nick & Starr fourth. Aja & Cabbie fifth. Kelly & Christy sixth. Dandrew seventh. Dan makes fun of his own stupidity. Everybody introduces themselves to each other. Ken socializes with the teams as Tina has eyes straight ahead.

– DAN: The flight could be delayed due to thunderstorms in Florida.
CABIE: Don’t put out that kind of negative energy.
DAN:  The United flight could be even more delayed. I’m just trying to balance it out. I worked in the airline industry.
NICK: He hasn’t worked in customer relations.

– Ken hugs the hippies.

FIRST FLIGHT: AJA & CABBIE; NICK & STARR; KEN & TINA; TERRENCE & SARAH; MARK & BILL; KELLY & CHRISTY

SECOND FLIGHT (3 HOURS LATER): TONI & DALLAS; DANDREW; ANTHONY & STEPHANIE; MARISA & BROOKE; ANITA & ARTHUR

– Dandrew was last to sign up for the first flight.

brazil dandrew

The banana bandana comes off in agony.

– Nick & Starr gather with Ken & Tina. Starr says she wants a loose alliance and reveals Ken & Tina as Mom and Dad. Ken approves of the alliance because the Kids are athletic.

– Phil announces who is on which flight, but too bad I rock and already beat him.

– I like the sombre music as teams board the second flight.

– When teams land in Salvador they must find the sandwich shop known as O Rei Do Pernil.

– The first flight is delayed from Rio de Janeiro to Salvador. The United flight could get in first.

– Nope. First flight maintains its lead. Terrence comments him and Sarah are running at the perfect pace. Christy also talks about a good pace. Maybe that’s why her marriage failed.

– Tina yells at Ken for not knowing how to speak Spanish in Brazil, and scolds him that it was his job before the season began.
.
.
.
.
.
lol, that Espanol will sure come in handy in Brazil. Oh good lord. We’re not even close to facepalms that will leave a bruise on our faces yet this season.

– Nick & Starr’s cab trails their parents. Mark & Bill are first to the sandwich shop. Count on them to be first at a place where you eat.

brazil clue

Take this clue and vote for Pedro.

– They read they must become an old school barista. They will take a cart through the old streets of Salvador to Praca da Se (missing some accents). They will deliver it to Inio who you will hand them their next clue.

– Mark knocks a bunch of boxes over. They come up with a solution how to transport the cart.

brazil mark bill

The problem.

brazil mark bill 2

All you need is a makeshift tarp.

russell swan 2

No you don’t.

russell swan

If only I picked a tarp.

– Mark believes he has good intuitive skills and can come up with a good plan.

– Kelly speaks! She says her and Christy went through bad divorces. Still frowning.

– Terrence & Sarah have the clue. He asks for help from Sarah with a ‘babe, I love you’ prefix.

– Mark describes it as driving the worst shopping cart in the world.

– Ken & Tina and Nick & Starr work together.

– Terrence freaks out because he doesn’t understand Portuguese coming from the lady who is directing Sarah while Sarah understands Portuguese.

– Ken & Tina tip boxes. What are the boxes anyway?

brazil blong

anita arthur intro

Beekeepers! That says ‘bLong’. BLong. No circle time yet.

brazil sisqo

Sisqo, cease those cartwheels immediately! It’s just a blong-buh-buh-buh-blong.

– Mark & Bill show up to the funicular. Terrence & Sarah laugh as they join them. Nick & Starr lost Ken & Tina while moving the cart. Tina whines that Ken is not moving fast enough. Ken randomly brings up the fact he cheated in a confessional.

– Terrence & Sarah are first to hand in their cart. They read they must head to a military base where they will spend the night. Yep. The tradition hasn’t changed. Show up and sign for one of three departure times to check out the following morning:

brazil sign

Looks like they brought the same sign-up ledger from Ireland.

900am
930am
945am

More teams at the back of the pack = a tighter race for last place to the pit stop!

– Terrence brags and tells Sarah to get in his groove.
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Shouldn’t Sarah be the one to tell Terrence to get in her groove?

brazil knuckle

This is what he meant by groove, by the way. The grooves between his knuckles. Romance at its finest.

– Mark & Bill finish second. Ken kicks away more boxes. Nick & Starr are one funicular ahead of them as they see Ken pick up boxes just short of the funicular.

NICK: Hate to say it but at least we’re ahead of Kenny & Tina.

NEVER CALL YOUR PARENTS BY THEIR FIRST NAME!

– Terrence & Sarah show up to the military base. She asks if she is first. The officer nods.

brazil sarah

What a healthy celebration.

brazil sarah 2

Whoa. This is. . .excessive.

Still better than how she celebrated at the Bluth Family Picnic.

brazil sarah 3c.

Take a good look cause it’s the last time you’re gonna see her referenced in this blog. Her resemblance to Sarah is downright hilarious.

– Sarah squeaks as she hugs Terrence. Can’t understand a word she said.

– Mark & Bill complain about traffic. Nick & Starr are second at the military base. Clearly they didn’t hit traffic.

– Kelly & Christy are dropped off at the wrong place. They stand alone in the warmth of Salvador.

– Second flight lands.

– The teams trailing are all frantic.

ANITA: Bees are so much calmer than all of this!

– Anthony & Stephanie are seen last after we hear from Toni & Dallas, Dandrew, Marisa & Brooke, and the beekeepers multiple times.

STEPHANIE: Geez, get us there already.

Someone loves world travel!

STEPHANIE: The most important thing on the race is to win money.

It’s not about the people you meet, the fact you are on TV, sharing an important experience, heck, sharing a once in a lifetime experience, doing crazy s—, seeing crazy s—. Just money. It’s what everybody says in their exit speech at the end of each episode right?

But c’mon. They’re in the heat of the race. All of the excitement is starting to show, right?

brazil anthony 2

“How much longer is this gonna take? I’m just gonna go ahead and check out my girlfriend’s rack that I have seen a thousand times. I’m so glad she put out on our first date. I’m missing the Dodgers game. Wonder if Kemp is doing well.”

– Kelly & Christy have their clue. Dandrew have theirs. They find a local to help. Andrew says it’s all about putting the pedal to the medal.

– Ken & Tina round out the 900am group. Aja & Cabbie are frustrated to see they are suddenly thirty minutes behind.

– Anita is thoroughly enjoying the barista task.

900AM: TERRENCE & SARAH; NICK & STARR; MARK & BILL; KEN & TINA

– Kelly & Christy enter the funicular without Dandrew.

– Toni & Dallas, Anthony & Stephanie, and Marisa & Brooke have the clue. Toni keeps knocking over boxes. Dalls offers to take her bag.

– Kelly & Christy and Dandrew are finished the task. Andrew admits he is stressed.

– Beekeepers and Toni & Dallas have their clue. Anthony & Stephanie are magically tenth ahead of Marisa & Brooke.

CHRISTY: We’re number six and pretty pecked off about it.

Never heard of that phrase.

930AM: AJA & CABBIE; KELLY & CHRISTY; DANDREW

– Dandrew is thrilled that they beat out all of the other teams on the second flight to the military base, and is even better because they are the only team from the second flight who gets to check out at 930am.

KELLY & CHRISTY: Yay Superbad.

I prefer Dandrew, but considering my Seth Rogen reference earlier I can definitely see it.

– Night time hangout session. Dallas has no shirt. Starr finds Dallas to be the most attractive guy on the race. She does not expect flames.

brazil dallas starr

Removal of Dallas’ shirt is totally a coincidence.

I hope Starr and Dallas don’t hook up. Not because of their own sake but because of my sake when I am 99.9% sure what everyone will say when they hook up:

dallas stars

Nick looks forward to being a popular wingman for the Dallas Starr–a much better team than any mediocre NHL franchise!

– Sarah socializes with the other teams. Everyone is friendly and having a good time. Terence points this out.

TERENCE: As soon as we got here Sarah was talking to the other teams, and here I am. I want you to hold me, I want you to connect with me but yet she’s engaged with them and that was very frustrating for me.

brazil terence 2

He is SEETHING. Like he is ready to kill anyone who talks with her. It’s probably someone like Dallas, Nick, Ken, or Anthony hitting on her that makes him angry right?

brazil arthur

She’s talking to the F—ING BEEKEEPERS! How can you be jealous of a sixty-year-old beekeeper that looks like my uncle from Cherryville?! Jesus. Wouldn’t you want to talk to a guy who looked like that during the race? I would! Why is he so concerned?

ARTHUR: Hey Sarah, me and Anita have had an open marriage for so long. How about you tell your man there to buzz off as I give you the beesiness.

brazil terence

Nervous. Doesn’t like his girlfriend to socialize with others. He overreacts to situations already and lets his girlfriend do most of the work. Also, a goofy hairstyle. I swear we’ve seen this on TAR before. . .
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Searching. . .
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Searching, please wait. . .
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MATCH FOUND:

adam wood 1

Ah! Perfect.

– I love how Sarah couldn’t seem more disappointed in him bashing her during a confessional. Especially when Terence sounds like the whiniest A–hole on the planet.

– After Terence’s bout of crybabyitis, Phil recaps who is departing when.

900AM: TERRENCE & SARAH; NICK & STARR; MARK & BILL; KEN & TINA
930AM: AJA & CABBIE; KELLY & CHRISTY; DANDREW
945AM: ANTHONY & STEPHANIE; MARISA & BROOKE; ANITA & ARTHUR

brazil anthony 3

Anthony laughs at Stephanie’s choice of makeup.

brazil arthur 2

It’s 60s Santa Claus!

– 900am. They have their clues. The teams read they must take a taxi to Pelourinho. Once here they must locate a church where they will find their next clue.

– Nick yells at Ken that they will work together later. Teams fail to find or claim a taxi. Nick & Starr and Terence & Sarah both have one. Nick & Starr struggle to communicate with a driver. Tina instructs Ken to use his whistle.

charla backpack

Oppa Charla Style!

– Starr yells go a million times.

NICK: Starr, stop yelling. You said ‘go’ a million times.

Yep. See?

– Mark & Bill have a cab. Nick instructs the driver to follow Mark & Bill.

– Sarah said she tried to get a conversation with Nick & Starr about a taxi. We see a black and white flashback. What? This moment is worthy of  a black and white flashback?

brazil black and white

Remember that time where I talked to you about how it is tough to find a taxi, but you were so focused on the race to the point that you didn’t hear me? Craaazy!

TERENCE: This is not a popularity game. Sarah wants people to like her and be friends with her. I don’t care. Nobody speaks to me. I don’t need friends.

– 930am. Dandrew pass Aja on the road who is suddenly carrying nothing. Kelly & Christy have a cab followed by Dandrew and Aja & Cabbie.

– 945am. The last three teams all run on the road.

– Terence & Sarah run into the church. Ready for another case of Whiny McWhinerson?

brazil whine

brazil whine 2

brazil whine 3

brazil whine 4

Sounds like a sore loser who isn’t used to being defeated in a foot race.

And since when has he been lapped? Is Salvador in the shape of a circle? It’s not adding up.

– Sarah apologizes to shut him up.

– Terence & Sarah enter the wrong building.

– Nick & Starr run into the same building.

brazil clue 2

See? Nick & Starr truly run the race with blinders on.

– Mark & Bill follow them into the building too. All three teams have the clue. Detour.

– Hard Way Up or Soft Way Down.

– In Hard Way Up, teams head to a place knowing they must answer a mystery question. They will take a spiritual pledge as locals do by climbing the entire stone staircase on their hands and knees.

Once at the top they will be asked by a samba drummer how many stairs they climbed. The difficulty is taken away because they are allowed to look behind them.

brazil drummer.

Look at that drummer–he is stairing into your soul.

You wanna know how many steps? You got it, Mr. Drummer.

– If they are correct, they receive their next clue. If they are wrong, they must walk around the city streets and try again.

– In Soft Way Down, teams make their way to an outdoor elevator. They must climb down a precarious cargo net 240 feet below.

brazil cargo

Also known as “a helluva long way” by locals.

– Once they are at the bottom, they will receive their next clue.

– Sarah reads only three teams can be on the net at a time. All three teams choose to climb down the net. Sarah hates Nick & Starr a lot.

– Mark & Bill are still debating over 240 feet as they process that distance. Meanwhile Ken & Tina show up and have the clue.

– Nick & Starr are about to enter an elevator with Terence & Sarah. Nick orders her to a screeching halt because he reads there is a marked door. Nick is obsessive over following clues. He backtracks and they find the marked door. Terence & Sarah’s lead is gone.

– Nick instructs Starr not to look down. Of course that’s the first thing she does. Terence has yet to correct their mistake. Ken & Tina see the marked door.

NICK: Don’t look up and don’t look down. Just be safe.

How about just get the f— down?

KEN: We’re gonna get you, Nick!

brazil ken

“If I spit right now, what are the chances it will land on Starr’s head and she freaks out and quits the task?”

– Starr cheers for Mom and Dad.

– Ken tells Tina to go fast. His first instruction all season.

TINA: Kenny, I’m scared of heights. Just be glad I’m doing this and be quiet.

Yeah, Ken can handle orders but not Tina.

– Bill loves that TAR is the only time where he could climb 240 feet down a cargo net.

– Terence sees the marked door. They’re too exhausted to beat themselves over it.

brazil bill

Look at the sweat on his forehead! And remember these confessionals are filmed after the round is over. So Mark & Bill have been tricked into being on The Biggest Loser. I can’t imagine how much sweat we would see if they lifted their arms.

– Ken & Tina are about a minute behind Nick & Starr. Nick realized Mark & Bill are on top of the wall without Terence & Sarah to be seen.

– Nick has the clue. He reads that they must head to the pit stop at the Forte Sao Marcelo. It’s a floating military location.

– Starr asks to flag a cab. Nick wonders if they need a cab. He flags down one. Ken & Tina instantly have a cab and are first off. Nick has a local. He says they don’t need a taxi.

– Ken & Tina are dropped off. Tina kicks herself because she knows it would be faster to run than flag a cab.

– Shockingly, Mark & Bill don’t have the best cardio. They let Terence & Sarah pass them three-quarters of the way down on the cargo net.

SARAH: Can you believe we’re doing this?
TERENCE: You can’t climb and talk. I can!
SARAH: Apparently I can’t talk to you because I can’t stand and talk.
TERENCE: I’m gonna talk while she climbs. This is really amazing guys! She says she’s really happy to be part of this.

Wow. Sarah is not gonna be happy with Terence much longer. His phrasing could be that she is forbidden to climb and talk while he can. It just came out wrong. He is being a jerk regardless of what he meant, but still.

brazil net

MARK: Don’t you think he’s a bit of a d—-bag, Bill?
BILL: Yes, Mark. Isn’t it amazing that we can have a task using a net in Brazil that has nothing to do with soccer?

brazil pit stop

What is with Brazil and floating pit stops on TAR? And this is minute 36 of 43 for the premiere. This is what happens wheren there is only one task and the teams are within 45 minutes of each other in one day.

brazil pit stop 2

Look at the size of the tumour on the pit stop greeter’s head!

brazil pit stop 3

Nevermind. It was just a kid juggling coconuts.

FIRST: NICK & STARR

PHIL: Nick & Starr. . .

brazil nick starr

“Yes Phil? Notice our overpriced hats?

brazil phil

Uh, you’re team number one! And is my neck finally getting a tan?

brazil nick starr 2

TIME TO CELEBRATE THE ONLY VICTORY WE’LL EVER HAVE! And see this Mark & Bill? Not a single drop of sweat under our pits!

– Phil congratulates them. They have won a trip for two from Travelocity to Belize.

brazil phil 2

And you two better buh-leeeeeze dat.

– Snorkelling. River tour through Mayan caves. Nick says the balance of power is what makes them great.

SECOND: KEN & TINA

– Dandrew’s cab misses the church and had to drive back. They see teams from the 945am departure already at the church. They are ninth unbeknownst to them.

THIRD: TERENCE & SARAH

– Beekeepers are last to the clue box. The only team not shown was Anthony & Stephanie.

– Kelly & Christy see Toni & Dallas above them on the cargo net.

– Toni says Dallas has always been an athlete and has never had the chance to be on his team.

brazil dallas starr

Really? Dallas has always been an athlete?

– Even if Toni was an athlete, I doubt Dallas would pick her in a school yard pick. The only way she would be on his team is if she Erin Collins’d it.

erin

You can pick me last as long as I’m not the one bit by a stingray.

– Dandrew are the only team doing Hard Way Up. Count on two fraternity boys to do a task that makes them feel hard rather than soft.

FOURTH: MARK & BILL

– Both sound winded.

brazil dandrew 2

While Dandrew does the task, several people walk up the staircase the traditional way–upright. The “spiritual journey” is a joke that they play on foreigners.

– Kelly & Christy declare themselves to be spiderwomen as they land on the ground. Aja comments on the craziness of the descent.

– Marisa & Brooke prepare to go down the net. I can’t even tell them apart yet because of how little they have been shown. Marisa (or Brooke) utters a funny quote.

brazil marisa

billy water

It’s cool to pee your pants!

– Toni & Dallas finish. Dallas commends Toni for doing the task.

– Dandrew make it to the top. They are blindsided by the question. The drummer asks them to write it down on a small chalkboard. Andrew is responsible for counting. He is frantic to the point that he blurts out “forty”. Shockingly, Dan blindly follows. For some reason he had no interest in double-checking Andrew’s three second count.

– Dan writes ’40’. It is incorrect. They must try again.

– Anthony & Stephanie and Anita & Arthur run through the streets. Dandrew are back at the start. They count the steps in sync.

FIFTH: KELLY & CHRISTY

– Anthony & Stephanie begin the descent. Beekeepers are starting to get anxious as they find the marked door.

SIXTH: TONI & DALLAS

– Aja & Cabbie finish the descent. They have their clue and run off. Dandrew keeps counting. Anthony & Stephanie see the Beekeepers/hippies above them.

– Anita & Arthur say they love each other at the top of the descent.

– Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie finish the Detour. Anthony & Stephanie join Marisa & Brooke as they agree to stay together. They’re going to look silly if beekeepers pass them to the mat and suddenly it comes down to a foot race.

– Dandrew make it to the top and write down their new guess. Last time it was forty. I assume they were only one or two steps off one way or the other?

brazil 53

It is correct. How in the world did Andrew calculate the steps the first time? He missed it by twenty-five percent. So off to the pit stop. The mystery is now the distance between each Detour location and the pit stop.

– Anita & Arthur suddenly finish the Detour. There is still five teams that need to check into the pit stop in less than two minutes of airtime. Oh my. The crowd applauds as Anita & Arthur step off the platform.

– Dandrew see Aja & Cabbie running on the streets.

– Marisa & Brooke and America’s Sweethearts Anthony & Stephanie run together on the street. Marisa asks if there is button for a crosswalk behind them. Brooke reminds her it isn’t America.

– A buff dude on the street direct the hippies to walk. At their speed they should really take a taxi because they refuse to run.

– Andrew screams and cheers as he sees Phil.

SEVENTH: DANDREW

*Seconds later*

EIGHTH: AJA & CABBIE

– Andrew decides to celebrate with Cabbie.

brazil andrew

And what better way to make a new Black friend than to rub his hair. I love how the storyline from the airport conversation continues.

brazil andrew 2

Notice that Cabbie hasn’t wrapped either of his arms around Andrew. I think Andrew tries a bit too hard to find an ‘in’ with the brothas.

– The three remaining teams continue to slowly walk on the street. None of these teams seem to have much willpower. Suspense is built considering two teams are together while the other team is alone. Will it be a last second foot race or a foregone conclusion?

– Suspense continues.

brazil coconut

Greeter juggles to pass the time.

brazil anthony 4
NINTH: ANTHONY & STEPHANIE

The All-American couple ensures they beat the team they worked with to the mat. Ninth is theirs. We hear nothing from them except a few claps.

TENTH: MARISA & BROOKE

As you can see, Marisa & Brooke finish about twenty seconds behind Anthony & Stephanie judging by this photo finish.

– Anita & Arthur quietly enter the mat all alone.

LAST: ANITA & ARTHUR

brazil last

PHIL: Anita & Arthur, you are the last team to arrive. . .I am pleased to tell you however that this is a non-elimination round. Next round we’re flying to India where you will encounter a Speed Bump–now, I’m not saying whether or not you have to shave off every ounce of hair attached to your face and head–but expect to be turned into the FBI if we find out that you guys have been harbouring Draft Dodgers in Arthur’s beard.
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Just kidding. They’re gone.

– Anita giggles at the news. They’re smiles. They gave it all they had minus any desire to run to the mat. Arthur rambles on about duct tape.

– And they’re gone. Their hair must tangle so much when they get intimate.

Next Time on TAR: Mark & Bill look for some charity. And an alliance begins to ruffle feathers. And by feathers, we mean Terence’s hair.

CONFESSIONAL COUNT

TONI.DALLAS 4.1
NICK.STARR 3.3
KEN.TINA 3.2
AJA.CABBIE 1.1
MARISA.BROOKE 1.1
DAN.ANDREW 2.4
ANTHONY.STEPHANIE 1.2
ANITA.ARTHUR 2.3
KELLY.CHRISTY 1.1
TERRENCE.SARAH 4.2
MARK.BILL 2.2

Rank the Legs:

1) Los Angeles/Where else? -> Salvador, Brazil

The least memorable tasks in a premiere ever? I forgot about baristas, churches, military base, boats, and the descent.

Heck, the only memorable task before I watched this episode was Dandrew crawling up the steps, but that’s because Dandrew can make anything they do memorable. Even if they eat a bowl of Cheerios they would be more interesting than any other team doing anything except Anthony & Stephanie.

But seriously, Dandrew isn’t the only redeeming factor to balance out the uninspired and rehashed tasks this task. There was a lot of hilarious moments of foreshadowing and character interactions that are downright entertaining. In fact. that essentially takes over the episode.

Perhaps the reason why the competition aspect doesn’t engage us is because all eleven teams check in within a space of about eight minutes.  It was far too chaotic for the viewer to follow. That’s what happens when the pit stop is barely a minute away from the end of the Detour. If I was an editor I’d have a tough time making it cohesive on screen.

Get used to appreciating the characters while they last. Anita & Arthur are a fitting first team to be eliminated and made enough of a contribution to the series.

Lastly, this episode receives a major positive boost because Anthony & Stephanie survived, and frankly back when this season originally aired in 2008, that is what we all only cared about.

Rank the Teams:

1) Anita & Arthur

You know those friends you have who say they are hippies just because they go camping every once in a while and have picky tastes? Expose them to Anita & Arthur if you want to shut them up. Hippies in the truest sense. Their two jobs all occur outdoors in the wilderness. Self-reliant. Old school. Probably have run more than one grow-op in their day.

I must admit they look a lot like my uncle did for several decades. Facial hair and, well, regular hair is the best of anything I have seen in TAR, Survivor, and Big Brother.

Unfortunately they don’t have a personality that would captivate enough of the audience on TV. I remember watching a deleted clip online where they lost their clue for two minutes as they search between the seats and their fanny packs in the taxi. They did it in a calm manner, found the clue, kissed, and moved on.

That’s why it was a deleted clip.

Super nice people and big fans of TAR. I am happy that production cast them. It is probably one of the few non-mactor teams that will be most remembered for their looks.

Team Averages

Bulls—
Bilal & Sa’eed N/A
— F minus–
12th Debra & Steve 12.0
12th Gina & Sylvia 12.0
11th Anita & Arthur 11.0
11th Ari & Staella 11.0
11th John Vito & Jill All Stars 11.0
11th Vipul & Arti 11.0
11th John & Scott 11.0
11th Ryan & Chuck 11.0
11th Team Seinfeld/Avi & Joe 11.0
11th Dennis & Erika 11.0
11th Deidre & Hilary 11.0
11th Matt & Ana 11.0
10th Lisa & Joni 10.0
10th Kevin & Drew All Stars 10.0
10th A Black Family 10.0
— F +–
10th Megan & Heidi 9.5 (Wow. They sucked.)
10th Kate & Pat 9.0
9th David & Mary All Stars 9.0
9th Peggy & Claire 9.0
10th Meredith & Maria 9.0
10th Dennis & Andrew 9.0 FF
9th Marianna & Julia 8.33
10th Russell & Cindy 8.33
8th Don & Mary Jean 8.2
10th Kellie & Jamie 8.0
10th Kim & Leslie 8.0
8th Danielle & Dani 7.8 – Yielded
9th Jim & Marsha 7.33
8th Aiello Family 7.0
–D minus–
8th Tom & Terry 7.0
8th Dave & Margaretta 7.0
9th Lena & Kristy 7.0
10th Hope & Norm 7.0
9th Rogers Family 6.5
8th Susan & Patrick 6.5
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43
9th Wanda & Desiree 6.25
7th Paul & Amie 6.2
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF
6th David &Mary 6.13 FF
–D+–
10th Ernie & Jeena 6.0
11th Amanda & Chris 6.0
6th Andre & Damon 5.86
7th Dave & Lori 5.83
5th Kami & Karli 5.8
8th Michael & Kathy 5.8
7th Cyndi & Russell 5.8
7th Shana & Jennifer 5.8 Used U-Turn
9th Heather & Eve 5.75
5th Nancy & Emily 5.67
6th Gaghan Family 5.5
10th Alison & Donny 5.5
6th Tian & Jaree 5.43 FF
8th Sahil & Prashant 5.4 FF
–C minus–
4th Meredith & Gretchen 5.36
7th Monica & Sheree 5.33 FF
7th Marshall & Lance 5.33
9th Debbie & Bianca 5.33
7th Gus & Hera 5.29
6th Joe & Bill All Stars 5.25
8th Bob & Joyce 5.25
8th Lorena & Jason 5.25 U-Turned
7th Silver & Gold 5.17
7th Ray & Deana – 5.0 FF
7th Melody & Sharon 5.0
9th Steve & Josh 5.0 – FF
9th Pat & Brenda 5.0 – FF
5th Fran & Barry 4.89
6th Howard & Sahran 4.88
–C + —
3rd Lyn & Karlyn 4.85 – Yielded
5th John Vito & Jill 4.8 – FF
7th Teri & Ian All Stars 4.83
7th Schroeder Family 4.75
6th Lake & Michelle 4.71 – Used Yield
6th Brian & Greg 4.71
5th Erwin & Godwin 4.70
3rd Adam & Rebecca 4.69 FF and Used Yield and Yielded
9th Duke & Lauren 4.67
5th Lori & Bolo 4.6 – FF
2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF
5th Uchenna & Joyce All Stars 4.33 – FF
8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF
–B minus–
3rd Ray & Yolanda 4.23
3rd Nicolas & Donald 4.18 FF and U-Turned
4th Linda & Karen 4.17
3rd Charla & Mirna All Stars 4.15
6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.)
5th Paolo Family 4.13 FF and Used Yield
5th Lynn & Alex 4.11
5th Andy & Laura 4.00 – Yielded
3rd David & Jeff 4.00 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny 4.00 – FF
5th Gary & Dave 3.89 – FF
2nd Kelly & Jon 3.85
1st Zabrina & Joe Jer 3.77
2nd Sandy & Francesca 3.77 – Used Yield
4th Jon & Al 3.73
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71
–B+–
3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF
5th Kynt & Vyxsin 3.63 Used Yield
1st Eric & Danielle All Stars 3.62 – Yielded Twice
4th Mardy & Marsio 3.58 FF
6th Jonathan & Victoria 3.56
4th Joseph & Monica 3.50 – Yielded
3rd Andrew & Syeon 3.46
1st Freddy & Kendra 3.46 – Used Yield and Yielded
2nd Ronald & Christina 3.45
4th Nathan & Jennifer 3.40 – Never finished in 1st
1st Chris & Alex 3.38 – FF
1st Chip & Kim 3.38 – Used Yield
4th Kevin & Drew 3.36 – FF
3rd Brandon & Nicole 3.31
1st TK & Rachel 3.18
4th Godlewski Family 3.18
4th Dustin & Kandice 3.17 – Used Yield
–A minus–
7th Peter & Sarah 3.17
9th Aubrey & Jacqueline 3.17
3rd Weaver Family 3.15 – Yielded Twice
1st Reichen & DK 3.15 – FF
1st Uchenna & Joyce 3.15 FF
4th Derek & Drew 3.10 – FF
2nd Rob & Kim 3.08 – FF
3rd Ron & Kelly 3.00 – Yielded
6th Azaria & Hendekea 3.00
4th Hayden & Aaron 2.92
2nd Dustin & Kandice All Stars 2.92 – Used Yield
2nd Bransen Family 2.85
1st Linz Family 2.77 – Used Yield
3rd Joe & Bill 2.76 – FF
–BEST OF THE BEST–
8th Rob & Amber All Stars 2.75 – Used Yield
1st Flo & Zach 2.69 – FF
3rd Ken & Gerard 2.69 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny All Stars 2.67 FF x2 and Used Yield
2nd Colin & Christie 2.54 – FF and Yielded
2nd Tara & Wil 2.53 – FF
1st Rob & Brennan – 2.46 FF
1st BJ & Tyler – 2.46 FF and Used Yield
1st Tyler & James – 2.38 FF
2nd Frank & Margarita 2.38 – FF
2nd Kris & Jon 2.38
2nd Rob & Amber 2.31
2nd Eric & Jeremy 1.69 FF

Combined Team Averages (Repeats Only)

11 legs David & Mary 6.91 FF
11 legs John Vito & Jill 5.36 FF
18 legs Danielle 4.78
19 legs Teri & Ian 4.63 FF
13 legs Kevin & Drew 4.38 FF
20 legs Charla & Mirna 4.00 None
21 legs Joe & Bill 3.71 FF
22 legs Uchenna & Joyce 3.64 FF x2
*31 legs Eric & Danielle 3.48 FF
23 legs Oswald & Danny 3.30 FF x3!
25 legs Dustin & Kandice 3.04 None
26 legs Eric 2.65 FF
17 legs Rob & Amber 2.41 None

* I determined Eric & Danielle’s average in this last section by adding up all of their individual points from TAR 9, then adding up their total points in All Stars and dividing it by 31.

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