Big Brother Canada episode nine ranking

Episode nine

Previously on BBCanada: As HoH, Tom finally had his chance to settle it old school after crossing a line at the PoV challenge. Suzette wanted to make things right with Tom, but Tom was drunk on power and her efforts made no difference. Liza brought out the jealousy in Tom. His own alliance began to question his loyalty. Then a shocking twist. The debut at home to veto one of Tom’s nominees. Tom was forced to make a snap decision. With little time to react, Aneal found himself on the block and was the third houseguest to leave the Big Brother house. At the HoH challenge, Tom’s closest ally, Emmett, finished first giving him the title of Head of Household.

There is so much bias in this recap it is unbelievable. Suzette is portrayed as a victim who tried to redeem herself while Tom is this bully who is filled with evil and hatred? Liza bringing out jealousy in Tom is framed in a positive manner, and the *shudder* Chevrolet Power Shift twist that screws up Tom’s plans is supposed to be hailed as a victory? You know what my reaction to all of this is?

Tom not cool

Not impressed.

Tonight–Tom’s personal vendetta against Suzette grows stronger than ever. But Emmett has much bigger targets. Then in a shocking scandal, a twist will be revealed which will shift the balance of power again. See it all now on BB Canada!

talla addams family

And watch as Talla auditions for the next Addams Family film!

But seriously, do we need another twist? Didn’t we just have one that corrupted one round of the game? Unless it has something to do with Emmett and a bunch of people using their hands in HoH, I will likely go on another tirade. Boy do I love tirades.

suzette swear

Like this one.

-By the way, I should note Peter talked the entire time during the ‘coming up tonight’ portion. I am guessing the producers really want him to go far this season and be a fan favourite?

– Intro time. Producers are really using Tom’s Slim Shady image effectively.

– Black and white time. We see Emmett win again. He has a really flat personality. His tone celebrating his victory in the diary room is the same as when he was nominated on premiere night. Tom is stoked for Emmett’s win too.

– Suzette thanks Canada and acknowledges she would have been eliminated if that twist had not occurred.

SUZETTE: And all the people that like voted, you know, like–

LIZA: The fact that Canada voted to pull Suzette off the block leads me to believe that the only person in the House less likable than Suzette is AJ. UGH!

Again, no laws govern Internet voting. Although this is the one time I feel a vote was legit considering it is indeed AJ that we’re talking about.

aj creepy

AJ is sorry that Logan feels this way. But AJ will do better.

– Tom wants Emmett to put up Suzette right away to send a message to Canada. Tom starts cursing at the camera. He voices his frustration alone with Liza. He thinks his trust lies with Emmett to the Final Two. But Liza tells him that he played Emmett’s game like “a puppy”. We see a recap of Emmett and Tom strategizing in the storage room following the announcement of the twist.

– Emmett does not feel threatened by Suzette. He does not let emotions get in the way of his game. Clearly because Emmett does not have emotions of his own. He could not seem less interested in Jillian when they are alone together. It’s like creating a showmance is a mandatory rule set up by production.

emmett tattoo

“If I’m going to have a showmance, may as well be with a flexible yoga expert. That’s my best move.”

-Tom said he would have put up Andrew but didn’t want AJ to go because of the promise. Liza agrees that it was in Emmett’s best interest to send Tom’s bromance out the door. Liza knows she cannot control Emmett, but feels her two barriers are Tom and Peter.

– Suzette joins them in the Sauna Room. Tom and Liza continue their talk with her presence. Tom criticizes Liza for wearing such a short outfit in the cold.

liza cold

I think Michelle from Big Brother 4 remembered to cover up more than her.

michelle towel

Who knew a lettuce bikini wouldn’t cover her. Er, I take my statement about Liza back.

– Tom distrusts Liza. He only knows to trust himself and Emmett. At least one of those two choices was right. Emmett pulls Tom aside in the storage room to talk. How does Tom start the conversation.

TOM: Look! I’m drinking pop!

How. . .how nice.

tom pop

Tom does not normally drink pop, but when he does it’s Pepsi Max.

– Emmett tells Tom that Talla, Liza, and Aneal had a pact to go after Emmett. Tom is furious. Emmett looks into Tom’s eyes and forces him to keep this knowledge from Liza.

EMMETT: I’m not even going to tell Jill this!

Ohhhhhhhhh. Big stakes, Emmy Boy.

TOM (confessional): Liza really needs to be one hundred percent honest with me because I have been honest with her except for hiding quatro.

And Liza has been honest with you except for hiding her deals with Peter, Aneal, and Talla. Why that’s three people. I think this is called karma, Tom.

– Emmett says the only threats are the women but that no men can beat them. Jill walks in, rolls her eyes, and exits. Tom will eliminate Liza if she goes after Quatro. Emmett tells Tom that he understands he wants her in the jury house, but she needs to be cut loose early.

– Tom goes into the backyard alone. Liza feels distant from Tom which is her worst case scenario. She wants to make a move quickly to reel Tom in.

Dang. Liza picked up on the signs quick. Although for once she is the one telling the truth (sorta) while Emmett is much more scheming against Tom’s favour.

LIZA: Alpha males tend not to listen to their pretty little ladies.

Since when has that ever been the case on reality TV?

– So Liza makes her move.

liza tom

Well this is really breaking gender barriers. Tom’s hands in pockets indicate he has nothing but bromance on his mind.

liza tom 2

Success! Well, feminism takes yet another hit in reality TV, but at least Liza gets Tom back on her side.

– Tom continues to express his confusion of Bromance vs. Showmance.

TOM: Liza is my Nomance Showmance.

– Tom instructs Liza to have a good relationship with Emmett because he trusts both him and her. Liza is safe and says she was not upset over Aneal’s elimination.

– Gary is cooking. Master Chef is interrupted as Emmett invites everyone to his HoH room.

grapes and chocolate

Purple grapes and chocolate milk? It looks like my HoH room more than Emmett’s. Everyone expresses their surprise of seeing chocolate milk.

cow

Last week was Year of the Monkey but today is Year of the Cow. The cow of course was an ode to Emmett’s farming background just in case you couldn’t figure out why he was cast.

The good ol’ country archetype. We see more pictures of cows and crates. Thank god I am a suburbanite.

LETTER TO EMMETT: The cows miss you and sending you lots of moos.

– Letter tells him to be courteous. He tears up as he reads the letter aloud to everyone. Everyone giggles at the mention of showmances. Emmett’s mom likes Gary. Be strong, be a role model, and savvy according to Emmett’s father. Cry-cry-cry as piano music plays. They clap.

Am I the only one who gets bored by Emmett as HoH?

– Emmett and Jillian instantly make out. This is exactly the boredom I was just talking about.

– Commercial. Only four people have talked after the first thirteen minutes. This is just ridiculous.

– Day 23. Andrew and AJ sit together. Somebody walks through the front door. It is a leprechaun along with two other leprechauns. It’s St. Patrick’s Day.

leprechaun

Oh. Leif from Survivor: One World is visiting the BB house. Or is that Verne Troyer? Or is the cast of Little People, Big World? Yeah. I am certain it’s Verne Troyer.

– They all dance in green and march throughout the house. AJ approves of the new women. We see some of them drink. The houseguests love the short-lived parade.

leprechaun 2

Hey. Willy Wonka called. He wants his flute back.

leprechaun 3

Looks like my brother on St. Patrick’s Day. Drinkin Ain’t Easy.

leprechaun 4

Even Gary has glitterized and altered his hair to celebrate this liver-slaying day.

LEPRECHAUN (upon exit): Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I. . .I don’t get it. Was that supposed to be funny?

– Talla dances. Topaz, for no apparent reason, announces to everyone that this must be a competition. She clarifies the answers for everybody. Luckily she will not be at risk unless the Chevrolet Power Shift is “Do you want Topaz evicted tonight?”

As Clay Jordan would say, “no s— Sherlock”.

– Houseguests are told to head into the living room. Everyone uses this opportunity to be intimate with houseguests they have yet to communicate with.

peter topaz

Well Peter can scratch Liza and Topaz off the list. Peter is really taking the opportunity to explore his sexual taste in the BB Canada house. From Orange Crush to Chocolate Milk, it’s all good in the BB house.

P.S. I took a break from this blog and went to the theatre to see 42. I love that this is where I left off. A racial reference. By the way, it is an awesome movie. You should check it out.

suzette strangle

Can’t. . .breathe.

VOICEOVER: Four of you were caught breaking the bee’s knees competition thanks to our fans on Twitter doing a better job of observing the contestants than our producers.

GARY: We get punished for that?

TALLA: Oh s—. That doesn’t make sense. No. No.

ALEC: I bet it was me.

JILLIAN: We’re the have-nots for the week.

TOM: Don’t speculate. Let him finish. Don’t speculate. Let him finish.

JILLIAN: We’re have-nots.

jake vienna

Please stop speculating!

I need to be shot for making a Jake Pavelka reference. No wonder why Bachelor Pad couldn’t get past a third season.

– We get to see the footage. Alec cheers. The ‘No Hands’ rule that they were called out on during the live broadcast is re-shown.

– Talla’s foul is shown first followed by Jillian. The houseguests couldn’t be more entertained. Jillian did it twice.

– Then Alec. And. . .

emmett foul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40

For once, that red circle in the screen cap was NOT something I drew.

– We see Emmett cheat twice more. Emmett, Jillian, Talla, and Alec are all declared guilty by the voiceover. Talla begs to not be a Have-not.

VOICEOVER: The results of yesterday’s challenge no longer stands. Emmett. . .you have lost your position as Head of Household. Today’s Have-Not competition will instead be the new HoH competition.

But don’t they compete in teams for Have-Nots? I bet the challenge had to be thrown out completely.

– In addition, Talla, Emmett, Alec, Jillian, and Tom will not participate. Tom views Liza as his only hope. Poor Peter. Nobody has faith in him to win any competitions.

– VOICEOVER: Oh, and you are this week’s Have-Nots.

– Peter found it to be hilarious because Alec has been on slop the whole season. Tom will host the competition. He complains about not being able to compete. Does he not understand that this is the new HoH competition all over again?

VOICEOVER: AND IT BEGINS NOW!!!! AND I JUST SAVED A BUNCH OF MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO.

– It’s a questionnaire based on the Leprechaun Tour. Gary starts dancing in the booth. The game is called “Remember That?”

Do I really need to explain the challenge? True or false question based on their visit. Get it right you get a point. Highest number of points wins. Peter fully intends to throw a challenge once again.

irish king john

He looks like an Irish King John. Triple the taxes!

#1: There was a guy wearing a hot pink flower? Answer is true. Suzette scored a point.

#2: Feather in the fourth person’s hat was orange? Answer is true. Suzette, Liza, Gary, and AJ score.

#3: There were two people wearing sunglasses? Answer is false. Suzette, Gary, AJ, and Topaz score.

SUZETTE: Do I want to be HoH? Do I want targets on my back?

Haven’t you forgotten the 10-0 vote that was in place to send you home for a week? You’ve had a bullseye on you for quite some time, Suzette.

#4: Last person in the parade held the cane in his left hand? Answer is true. Andrew, Gary, AJ, and Topaz score.

– AJ, Suzette, and Gary tie for points. Everyone else is eliminated. Liza hates it. AJ takes the opportunity to refer to himself in the third person.

GARY: Right now I feel like if AJ wins HoH. . .God knows WHAT will happen cause Tom will be right in his ear.

– Chalkboard time. How many seconds did the parade last from start to finish? Price is Right rules in effect of course.

AJ: 320

GARY: 180

SUZETTE: 400

ANSWER: 235 seconds

– Gary hits his head. He jumps up. Screams. Screams for TEN CONSECUTIVE SECONDS IN THE DIARY ROOM. Suzette hugs him. You know what Gary’s drawn out victory scream reminds me of?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkIGO2UA-u8

 

PETER: Gary kept it quiet. He took it like a champ. No outward outburst of emotion. He really is a great winner.

TOM: I got Gary off the block. He is indebted to me. I feel the luck of the Irish baby. I feel like horseshoes are coming out of my butt.

Some would say that last part would be unlucky.

– Suzette likes the glitter power. She thinks Gary will support her. Uh oh. Gary finds himself on the spot.

– Emmett and Jillian kiss a couple more times before Emmett packs up his belongings and walks out the front door. . .of the HoH room. Cheesy piano music plays as Emmett sits down to re-read his letter alone and feels like he let his family down.

emmett letter

“Dear Emmett, the women are all aligning to get you out of the game. I wouldn’t waste your time or mine if I didn’t think it was true. Enclosed is the idol. Write down Liza’s name and save yourself. See you in the finals. BFFs Forever n e n e, JT.”

– It’s like he feels the shame of shoving a syringe full of steroids into his butt before heading to the pitcher’s mound. This is ridiculous. He heads to the Have-Nots room and sleeps alone.

snoopy

So sad.

– There is alcohol. Orange and feathers everywhere. And this time it’s a. . .

gary luxury

Dog named Luxury. From cow to monkey to dog. This is getting out of hand.

– Another stupid tearful letter. Blah blah blah. I’m not doing this crap twice in one episode. I like how he reads it covered in glitter. Glitter is said three times in the letter.

The shower drain is cleaner than it has ever been. Glitter free.

– Gary requests to chat with Alec. He invites each person to individually chat with him on the couch. Gary asks everyone to say who they want gone. Liza tells Gary to nominate AJ and Andrew. Tom is feeling great because of Gary’s word. He reiterates it in his deal with Gary. Tells him to smile, dance, and enjoy his night before making the best move for himself.

– Tom asks Liza’s biggest fear. Her biggest fear is that Gary is much smarter than he has been letting on. Tom believes the only person Gary should be listening to is him, and that him and Liza should be the safest.

– Gary asks Peter for names. Peter is hesitant to reveal names. Gary reveals to Peter that he wants to be the first to make a big move. He knows Peter is trying to play it cool but pressures him to be more specific than “target the pairs”.

– Topaz wishes to talk to Emmett in the have-not room. She admits she has never talked strategy with him. Emmett assumes Liza wants to divide the showmances. Oh Emmett. You couldn’t be more wrong. Peter joins the conversation. Peter exposes to them that they intend to target Emmett and Jillian. Peter thinks he convinced him to do otherwise.

– Topaz counters that knowing it is a lie because everyone has been discussing Peter’s possible secret alliance with Liza. I wonder if production coached them in the diary room to wonder about a possible relationship between Peter and Liza? Because that knowledge has not been revealed between the others in earlier conversations. It’s like bam! your goose is cooked.

– Peter pretends to accept that Liza is using him because he is a dork. Topaz and Emmett thinks Liza is using Peter because he has the most pull in the house. Peter tries to add to it by stating that he is not used to women being attracted to him.

– Gary asks Jillian who she would nominate. She says she would throw up random names like Andrew and AJ. Gary tells her to try again. Jillian does indeed try again by throwing Liza’s name under the cliched reality TV bus.

That bus really needs to hire a new driver. He has been working this genre for thirteen years.

– Gary mocks how scared and serious Jillian tried to act. He loves how much information is being revealed to him Juicy gossip,I s’pose.

ANDREW: Gary and I have a special relationship. I am the oldest player and he is the youngest player. We’re like chalk and cheese.

1) You’re 38. My dad is nearly twice your age.

2) If 38 is the oldest person in the house, holy crap casting did not try very hard.

3) Chalk and cheese? What the heck does that even mean? How do they have a special relationship? Is this a Newfoundlandie expression I don’t know about?

– Andrew finds Tom and Emmett’s attitude to be disrespectful and how they feel like they are running everything. He comments on how strong Emmett and Jillian are in this house. He adds Tom to the trio.

– Gary says people did not talk to him last week but suddenly everyone wants to speak to him. Next up in the hot seat is Alec.

GARY: Can you take me seriously if I wear these glasses?

gary glasses

This is the guy who is in control of the house this week? Uh, is it too late to ask the Chevrolet Power Shift to come back again?

– Alec proposes a risky plan to put up Liza, but Tom as well as a pawn. Gary reveals his promise to Liza. Alec explains to Gary that Liza is going after himself and Topaz. Gary instantly gets protective. Alec frames Liza as the biggest threat to Topaz’s existence.

– Liza is alone in a bedroom. She finds herself super intuitive, and thinks the vibe in the house sucks. So uh, gonna turn it around?

– Gary thinks the first three people being evicted were evicted for being “different”. Wasn’t he the one who hated Aneal? Tom and Alec feel good. Liza does not like that Tom feels good. She feels vulnerable.

– The Veto ceremony. Where I have the least amount of material to work with out of anything that happens each week.

GARY: PETER

PETER: TOPAZ

TOPAZ: SUZETTE

SUZETTE: TALLA

TALLA: ANDREW

ANDREW: EMMETT

EMMETT: ALEC

ALEC: AJ

AJ: JILLIAN

Tom not cool

eminem

He’s burned pretty bad, Gary.

– Gary informs Tom is nominated because Liza is his real target. The consensus is that it was Liza. He reveals he will win PoV and take him off the block. Gary says he was going to nominate her no matter what.

With a flick of his feather boa, the nomination ceremony is complete.

– Tom feels blindsided. He taps Topaz on the shoulder. He intends to oust her and Gary. Liza saw her nomination coming but not Tom’s.

Who will win PoV and win the right to change the nominations? With Tom betrayed by his own alliance, will he seek revenge? And with the house divided, who will be spared? And on Thursday there will be a double eviction. Lovely.

CONFESSIONAL COUNT

AJ 2

ALEC 2

ANDREW 2

EMMETT 7

GARY 9

JILLIAN 0 – Hooray!

LIZA 14

PETER 8

SUZETTE 5

TALLALALALALA 0

TOM 12

TOPAZ 3

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