Big Brother Canada episode seven ranking

Episode seven

VOICEOVER: Tom “outsmarted” his fellow houseguests to become HoH. There wasn’t any doubt to who was in control of the house opening old wounds and pushing Suzette to her breaking point.

suzette objection

I was having a bad day so you better shut your f—ing mouth!

VOICEOVER: Suzette stayed in Tom’s crosshairs along with Gary. Topaz awoke from her slumber and pleaded to Tom to save Gary. Alec opened up to Emmett and made cracks appear in the newly formed Quatro alliance. Tom put up Gary as a pawn against Suzette.

VOICEOVER: Tonight! We show you our biggest highlight of the episode so you’re under the false impression that it’s better than it actually is!

suzette swear

Logan, you haven’t stopped criticizing this show since day one so you better shut your f—ing mouth!

VOICEOVER: Critical PoV pushes tensions higher than ever. Will a power hungry Tom jeopardize his alliances? Are there new showmances on the horizon? Find out on BB Canada.

Wait, we needed MORE showmances? Isn’t three enough? Good lord. How hard are they trying to emulate the American version?

– We recap the nominations and Suzette’s giggling.

TOM: This nomination ceremony is complete.

Adjourned. Adjourned. Adjourned.

– Suzette believes that everyone thinks Tom is getting his way so that nobody has to hear Tom complain about Suzette anymore. We are shown it’s day 18. Gary agrees to join forces with Tom for the time being. Topaz thinks she has put herself at risk by exposing her close friendship to Gary. She knows holding friends dear to her will likely cost her the game.

– Tom has intended to put up Suzette since her blow-up following the HoH competition.

suzette swear

I only broke down for ten minutes so you better shut your f—ing mouth!

– Tom discusses how every showmance and Quatro are up for sending Suzette home. Oh, and AJ.

– Suzette has only one goal in this game:

suzette curse

Yep. Show him what an a–hole he is. Er, I mean a ?)_!*##$>”{\,/: he is. NRTC has funky rules compared to the FCC.

– Suzette doesn’t want to go down easily or make life easy for Tom. Tom is already pissed by Suzette’s snickering during the nomination ceremony. He is steaming as he heads outside. Emmett follows him because he worries about Tom’s emotions straying from the plan.

TOM: She is snickering like a little b—-.

Suzette uses a rural slur against Tom while Tom has the decency to avoid an Indigenous slur against Suzette. I never thought I would say this, but Tom is still the classier one.

Yeah. I know.

TOM: She’s making it her vendetta to send me home. Well I’m gonna make it my vendetta to send her home.

Does anybody know what vendetta actually means? I feel as if it is being used too loosely.

– Gary tells Suzette that he thinks he will go home if he doesn’t win PoV. He pulls out Aneal’s tears. Him and Suzette are alone on the couch while everyone else has dispersed. Suzette tries to comfort Gary.

GARY: I’ve taken my life by the balls to make myself secure and know who I am.

Gary is actually being literal. As soon as he grabbed someone’s balls, he knew who he was all along.

SUZETTE: They’re scared cause they don’t have the security and confidence that you have. They don’t even have the confidence to love themselves. You do. You have the confidence to love yourself.

GARY: I do love myself.

SUZETTE: You love yourself a lot.

divinyls

He loves himself a lot, according to her. Gary listened to this song on MuchMoreMusicRetro ALL the time.

– Gary brands Tom as the king of the castle.

GARY: But the king of the castle needs to be slaughtered soon.

– Peter thinks the power has gone to Tom’s head. Wait, people are worried about Tom? Isn’t he an obvious goat who people think will challenge whore his way through the game but stand zero chance of winning this game? And he’s HoH anyway.

ALEC: Tom is going through a power trip who thinks people are eating out of the palm of his hand.

Isn’t that exactly-what-you-want?

– Tom takes off his tie. Topaz agrees with Tom’s power trip. Emmett too. Tom goes out onto the balcony and throws his hands into the air.

tom arms

This is my house!

troyzan island

And this is his island.

– We are shown it is now day 19. Peter and Liza eat Doritos and drink Pepsi on the couch. Liza labels Peter as the most interesting person she has met in her life.

I don’t think Liza hangs around many interesting people.

– She admits to never having any interest in dating Tom in real life.

Hence why it’s called a showmance. That’s what they’re for.

– Peter tells us that his relationship with Liza is the most complex relationship he has had in or outside of the house. I would think so because any relationship that is created in a non-cooperative game is usually the most complex moment of your life.

– As a 21-year-old virgin who has never dated anybody, even I can figure out that the moves Peter is implementing would make anyone feel really really weird.

peter rub

Like that. What the heck is that? The thumb-bumb rub? And Liza looks like she is responding to it. By the way, I love Peter’s ability to maintain eye contact the whole time.

– Peter thinks the authentic and inauthentic moves by Liza really turns him on. He noticed they were holding hands and they break it knowing everyone else in the house would bust them on the quadrillionth showmance. He finds it fun but dangerous. Who does he think he is? James Bond.

– Peter informs Liza that he enjoys watching people crumble. Liza agrees. Peter thinks that Liza is the only one who understands the game as well as him.

So what about that showmance she has with Tom that makes her a huge target? Cause, you know, if Tom is nominated and wins PoV, I wonder who in the world would be put up in his place?

– Liza breaks out the worst British accent I have heard as she describes her and Peter as two diabolical minds. People enter the house including a shirtless and pantsless Tom who plops down beside Liza.

tom block

I call it a Tom Block.

– They sit in complete confusion and silence. Tom is oblivious as he stands up and walks away. Liza gets up and moves elsewhere. Peter wants Tom to be removed very soon.

– AJ gets an exclusive scene. . .from Alec’s perspective. We see AJ work out. Alec believes it is the funniest thing he has seen.

What an exaggerator.

– AJ does jumping jacks while holding onto weights, and sets up an obstacle course.

ALEC: It’s like he watched a cartoon and got a workout from what the mouse was doing.

AJ (lifting weights over his head): Yeah baby!!!! Yeah!

Because AJ doesn’t have any fans interested in him, he must create fictitious fans cheering him on in his head. And talk like Austin Powers.

aj parquor

Parkour!

PETER: He is endlessly entertaining.

Hence why we haven’t been introduced to him until episode seven.

aj creepy

Also endlessly creepy.

aj pump 1

The first time I am mentioned in five episodes?

aj pump 2

YES!

– Of course, his eyebrow raises during his eviction ceremony is mentioned. They accompany it by Trevor Boris-inspired sound effects.

aj spit

He is shown spitting more than he speaks. AJ probably spat all over his mic. Finally things are being explained.

And is he seriously doing a Triple H impression?

– That’s it for AJ. He never got to speak himself.

– Andrew goes into the storage room. There are beds set up in the room. The phone rings. His assignment is secret. He must make the worst meal possible.

How to succeed? They must compliment him on the meal. If he succeeds, they receive pizza and beer.

– So Andrew walks around tugging at his hair wondering how to make a meal. He tells everyone in the kitchen that it would have been his dad’s seventieth birthday.

JILLIAN: What are we gonna do for it?

ANDREW: A carbanera pasta that he always loves it.

I assume that’s how you spell it. Never heard of it. Ethnic Greek/Italian music plays.

– It is revealed to be true that he makes cabanara pasta for himself all the time. Except this one would be special, but not special in the sense that Stephen Hyde and the cast of That 70s Show consider ‘special’.

– He puts in honey, cayenne pepper, sugar, and humus. He picked the worst smelling fish sauce to put in it. Nutmeg, cinnamon and mustard are in there. Cream too.

I’m curious how many of the ingredients were coached by producers? How terrible is terrible? Couldn’t he hold back on nutmeg or cinnamon? I mean, Andrew wants to achieve this mission, right? Would producers intervene at the end and say “this isn’t terrible enough?”

JILLIAN: What do you do with the cream? Let it simmer?

ANDREW: Yeahhhhhhhh.

– Jillian/Lorelai Gilmore gives us a babyless confessional. She is slowly redeeming herself.

JILLIAN: Are you sure that’s enough cream?

Heh.

– Jillian comments how disgusting it looked. Andrew worked hard to make the dish very disgusting. Other people pretended to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over it.

– Liza assumes it is a secret family recipe from the east coast. We see her wash down her entire glass of alcohol after the first bite.

Hear that east coasters? Nobody is surprised that the food tasted atrocious.

– Talla volunteers to cook a Persian meal in the future. Subtle criticism.

PETER: Andrew’s meal reminded me of vomit with chunky bits of noodle in there.

REMINDED? REMINDED?!

– Gary tells us the meal was gross. He burps in the confessional, and comments how his burp was so terrible that it made him want to vomit.

GARY: That burp was so disgusting it made me wanna vom.

Oh sorry. Two syllables is too long. Vom. Not vomit. #Vom

That would have made for good TV.

– Tom compliments Andrew on the meal. Straight face.

See? Suzette is the one without a soul.

– Andrew is pumped. Tom’s compliment won pizza and beer for the house.

Am I the only one amused that a Canadian task involved someone being polite as the challenge? Andrew creates a meal worse than a Whisper chocolate bar and still gets complimented. If this were BB USA there is no way Andrew would have succeeded.

– The phone rings immediately. Aneal and Talla sprint to the phone. Aneal beats her to it. The phone is for Andrew. Production tells him he has passed. Pizza and beer for all. Andrew explains how terrible he made the food.

TOM: Because I didn’t know what was in it, it tasted good. Mind over matter sometimes.

Tomorrow we will take Tom to a fancy restaurant where he will order burger, fries, and water. The burger and fries came from McDonalds and the water came from a hose spouting out back. I wonder if he has ever contracted food poisoning.

– Peter doesn’t drink beer because he finds it disgusting.

Did you know your fellow blogger has never tasted alcohol? Everyone has told me I HAVE to drink beer but everyone says it is absolutely terrible.

– Before I have a chance to comment on the possibility of Talla and Tom having another argument, Andrew says that Talla can be fired up at the whiff of alcohol. As if she isn’t crazy enough.

– She lap dances for Aneal. Like it’s full out. It’s like Vanessa Ferlito and Kurt Russell in Death Proof. Everyone else is in disbelief.

PETER: Aneal of all people! Why him? There’s plenty of straight people in this house who would enjoy it more!

TALLA: Do you think my mom will see this?

EVERYONE ELSE: NO!

You know what I love about BB Canada? No family segments. They are irrelevant and all it does is turn ten minutes each week into a clip show.

– It’s time for PoV competition picks. Gary is taking this much more seriously than Danielle

Tom draws Topaz.

topaz sleep

I like how she is the only one in sleeping gear. Topaz is concerned if the PoV competition will cut into her 23 hours of sleep per day. Consider your sleeping cycle disrupted!

Suzette picks Liza. Liza intends to support Tom. Topaz wants to win to save Gary.

EMMETT: I hope I can start winning some competitions.

Wh-wh-wh-wh-why? So you can become a target? Isn’t your strategy with Tom to ensure he wins everything and HE is the target?

Gary picks Aneal. He acknowledges how he miserably failed in the snow one.

– I think Talla will be the host. Sure enough Tom picks “6 and a half pounds” of Talla.

– Tom feels nobody else will be able to compete. He thinks the responsibility entirely lies with him.

You do know it’s -SUZETTE- you’re worried about winning a physical challenge, yes?

– Gary has another alter ego. Gerald. He likes athletics and women. Gary finds him funny.

So Gary is present to acknowledge Gerald? They both exist at the same time?!

GARY: Gerald is a straight a– straight man who comes out before competitions.

GERALD: I need some f—ing tomatoes. I need to take a piss.

GERALD: I like this girl Lisa but she keeps telling me it’s Liza.

– Tom puts on headphones in HoH, stretches, and does positive reinforcement.

Tom shirtless

Look at my bulging muscles! And my fashion sense is enhanced by my toque and headphones. Don’t I look like an Albertan version of Slim Shady?

TOM: I will win the Power of Veto. I will win the Power of Veto. I will win the Power of Veto.

Always say things in three. Nothing obsessive about that.

SUZETTE: Tom hates me. I need this PoV. I’m on the block. I’m not feeling good lately. I feel like the classic underdog.

Classic underdog? Yeah, annoying, stupid, selfish, upset, lucky, underdog, all the same thing.

– Liza relieves Tom’s stress by reducing his fired up nature. Relax him.

– It’s a hockey rink. Everyone is in hockey jerseys. They go one step further with Talla’s outfit.

talla tooth

That’s why I never watch ice hockey. In other news, Talla is capable of dominating TAR 22.

TALLA: Welcome to the Big Brother Puck Off!

GARY: Puck Off!

Yes Gary, that was the joke.

– Gary thinks he is amazing at ice hockey because he has played it half of his life.

What a waste of youth.

– Each player will take a shot at a player’s tile. Whoever is the last player to have a tile intact wins the Power of Veto. To earn a shot you must correctly answer a trivia question. Gary cringes when he hears there will be trivia involved.

– Tom proclaims himself as an ice hockey player because it is his favourite sport.

What is wrong with you people? Can you pick a sport that’s, you know, bearable?

#1: ow many minutes they were handcuffed to their partners. The correct answer was 465 (Gary guessed 3000!). Wasn’t it supposed to be 24 hours? Eight is close enough.

– Aneal is closest with 333 so he gets the shot. He says he has never played ice hockey in his life. Aneal aims for Suzette but instead wipes out Gary. Gary is not impressed with the faux-Torontonian.

– Aneal is happy he eliminated somebody who was on the block regardless.

#2: How many total apples were shot in the ‘Dem Apples’ challenge? Correct answer was 61. Topaz answered 50. She aims for Suzette but instead took out Liza.

#3: How much total weight in pounds do all the free weights in the backyard add up to? Correct answer is 550. Suzette answered 500 so she gets the next shot. She was prepared to do it. Warming up before the shot. Tom is convinced he will be gone. Suspense builds.

– Suzette takes out her own picture. Tom celebrates and pumps his fist in front of Suzette.

SUZETTE: Tom you get your wish you f—ing redneck.

Tom not cool

Not cool.

TOM: Holy crap, Suzette.

EMMETT (to SUZETTE): Seriously? This is going to air on national TV.

Everyone is in shock. So this is why Suzette doesn’t have any allies. Everyone looks down uncomfortably.

– I love how Tom thought he needed to win this competition all by himself but so far Aneal took out Gary, Topaz took out Liza, and Suzette took out herself. Tom hasn’t lifted a finger.

– Tom tells us for the tenth time this season that he is fired up. Is that an overused Canadian expression?

TALLA: Uh, I know I’m not the coach but please uh, uh, keep it civil.

LIZA: ‘Puck Off’ was the perfect name for this game.

Ziiiing.

– Gary hopes Suzette goes on a longer tirade to increase her target.

#4: How many total calories of slop were put into the house during the first week? Correct answer is 65, 550. Tom gets a shot by answering 25, 000. That’s a lot of calories. Tom shatters Topaz’s target while falling down in the process. Everyone gets a good laugh over it. Talla applauds the good sportsmanship.

#5: How many balloons fell in the Power Popper challenge? Correct answer is 2, 243. Aneal answered 3333 (he always does that) while Tom answered 280. He obliterates Aneal’s target, thus declaring himself the winner of PoV.

tom pose

As if his ego needed to get bigger.

– Gary worries as he has no choice but to trust Tom. Suzette regrets her stupid comment during the challenge.

Holy crap. Is Suzette. . .redeeming herself? I don’t know how I feel about this.

– Tom enters the HoH room. He fist pumps some more as the monkey on the bed looks on.

tom monkey 3

So Bubbles, how do you feel about my challenge sweep for this week?

– Tom talks about how much he needs the money and how hard he works. Liza, Talla, and Gary all come in and congratulate him on not only his performance but handling Suzette’s remarks. Suzette creeps up to the HoH room as everyone scrambles outside.

– Suzette requests to talk to Tom alone. Request granted. Suzette apologizes and sits down beside him. They reconcile. . .somewhat. Suzette admits she is disgusted by herself.

At least we agree on that. Okay, too harsh.

– Tom and Suzette hugs it out. He is fine with the apology, but doesn’t change the fact he wants her gone. Suzette is hoping she can salvage whatever votes are left.

– It’s laundry day. Gary is washing all of his clothes (on day 20?!). He has never used a washing machine before.

Gary and I are the same age and HE has never used a washing machine? I thought I had the least amount of skills for anyone my age.

– Tom plays teacher. He cannot figure out what’s ‘colour’ and what is ‘white’. So laundry day for him.

– We see AJ going to the HoH room.

AJ: AJ’s name has been flying around as a possible pawn this week.

AJ speaks! Not in first person as of yet, but yes, he speaks!

– Tom asks AJ to be a pawn knowing it is a certain 10-0 vote. He wants to remove Gary and put up AJ.

TOM: AJ’s a nice kid. He’s horrible in challenges. Not doing well physically. He has been a huge floater up to this point.

AJ is a kid? Isn’t he several years older than Tom?

AJ: AJ is very very confident this will be a 10-nothing vote.

– AJ agrees and tells Tom that the pawn typically follows up with a HoH win. Tom knows he has to repay AJ in the future. Unlike Danielle who assumed Jillian would owe her one in the future.

– AJ crowns himself the safest pawn in Big Brother history. He is only worried about his hair and clothes for the ceremony.

I would contest that the pawn against Jase in BB5 following the PoV was the safest one in BB history.

– Peter and Alec converse atop the stairwell because they can see anyone who is remotely close to interrupting their conversation. They discuss their distrust for Tom. Alec’s plan is to win HoH and put up Gary/Aneal. Win veto and put up Tom in one of those spots. In other words, backdoor him.

– Tom’s ego is referenced for the 100th time this episode. Quatro and The Shield are dropped into the conversation.

– Peter is certain that he can get Liza to vote Tom. Leave it to the UBC Psychology major, Alec, to tell him that will not be the case.

Peter is great defensively and lining himself up in good alliances, but he is not good at recognizing when he is being played by people such as Liza.

– Alec recognizes Liza as manipulative. The red flags are being raised. They flash a Shield to end the conversation.

– Jillian runs up to the HoH room. She wants Gary to remain on the block. Two-week vendetta. She hates talking game and rarely does, but feels it is necessary in this case. She tells Tom that she kills Suzette with his eyes. She wants him to eliminate Gary because he will be a major competition threat down the road.

Yes, this storyline is being rehashed. But again, what isn’t when you air three episodes per week?

– Tom knows that Jillian feels threatened by Gary while he thinks he can use Gary to oust Jillian later on in the game. In other words, Jillian’s intentions are made quite clear.

It’s surprising that Tom believes that Gary will truly work with him after Danielle was eliminated. And the fact that Tom is the only one in the way of Tom winning challenges.

– Tom examines the really high Memory Wall. AJ thinks Tom vetoing his own nomination is suspicious.

Then why did you VOLUNTEER YOURSELF TO BE ON THE BLOCK?!

– Tom hosts a PoV ceremony for the second time. Each person pleads their case. Suzette says her attitude change is worthy of staying. Gary’s speech isn’t compelling.

– Tom is using the PoV on Gary. Is that a first? Someone vetoing their own nomination? I can’t recall it being done. Tom’s replacement nominee is AJ.

I think AJ failed in the hair and clothing department in preparation for the ceremony.

– AJ hopes he proved he had guts to the other players by going on the block. No idea what his goal was supposed to be.

– Arisa interrupts the end of the episode by revealing one of the worst twists ever created in BB.

ARISA: It’s the Chevrolet Power Shift. Save one houseguest using your fantasy points. Whoever is saved will be replaced by a new nominee.

Should I skip episode eight because of the dumbest idea I have ever heard? Sooooo manufactured. What’s the point of even playing BB when crap like that occurs?

So the episode ends on an exceptionally sour note. On the other hand, we were introduced to a new houseguest in the form of Gerald.

Confessional Count

AJ 7

ALEC 7

ANEAL 4

ANDREW 7

EMMETT 3

GARY 12

GERALD 1

JILLIAN 3

LIZA 8

PETER 10

SUZETTE 9

TALLA 3

TOM 27

TOPAZ 4

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