BIG BROTHER CANADA EPISODE SIX RANKING
Previously on BBCanada: “Jillian won the first ‘real’ HoH challenge”.
Even production acknowledges that the phone booth wasn’t a legit HoH competition.
Rest of recap: Gary surprised everyone by using his physical prowess to win PoV after him and Aneal were nominated. Also, Aneal’s tears were fake. Gary took himself off the block, and Jillian put up a willing pawn in the form of Danielle. The Quatro alliance made a pact with Aneal to oust Danielle
DANIELLE: F— all of you guys. You’re all f—ers. F— all you guys.
Danielle is a class act, ladies and gentlemen!
End of recap: Tom won a trivia challenge to become HoH.
Since when was Majority Rules a form of trivia? Everyone kept picking ‘A’ until everyone made an uneducaed guess regarding the number of litres in Batter Up. I bet most of the players still measure liquids in gallons. Especially Andrew.
P.S. You know Tom is a physical threat when his first two wins have been a puzzle and a Majority Rules competition. Yet he has lost a tree-hugging challenge.
VOICEOVER: How will Suzette react to Tom running the house?
What the heck? Since when has Suzette been relevant? In fact, since when has Suzette and Tom had any form of interaction?
SUZETTE: This f—ing redneck has to win.
Suzette. Go home.
Squishy squishy eye eye.
VOICEOVER: Can Gary survive another week? Who will be the Have-Nots? And who will be nominated for eviction?
In a BB first, they preview scenes that are about to air in the episode? What is this? ABC with their ‘coming up next’ clips every other minute?
– We see Tom’s reaction to winning for the tenth time. He is pumped. Peter is fine with being second so Tom can get blood on his hands for the week.
– Gary feels screwed. Tom is embracing this role much more than Jillian. He thinks eighty percent are happy with his win while twenty percent aren’t.
Let’s see. There are twelve people in this game. Eighty percent of twelve is. . .yeah, the math doesn’t quite work out. Unless you discount AJ and Topaz. Topaz is the reality TV sloth judging by how much she sleeps. How does she do diary room entries if she sleeps all the time?
– Tom celebrates in the most obnoxious way possible in the kitchen in front of everyone.
TOM (hugging LIZA): Give me some steak and sugar baby!
I think the approval rating just dropped.
– Suzette can’t stand being in the same room as Tom. So she goes to her happy place. . .
Going into the storage room and laying her eyes on as many brand name bags of chips as possible.
– She cries aloud in the storage room that she doesn’t want to spend one more night here. Hopefully there is a PoV phone call this round.
– Suzette wants to stay in her room all week. Topaz joins her. She tells her that Tom has it out of her because she nominated him in the opening week.
SUZETTE: That is so stupid.
Yeah. Beause everyone should not nominate the person who originally targeted them just two weeks prior. Suzette isn’t the most self-reflexive person out there, eh? Ugh. Did I just say ‘eh’? I swear I’m only doing that because it’s BBCanada.
– Aneal enters the storage room. Suzette hates Aneal’s company because she finds him to be a backstabber, and that he is the last person she wants to see in the midst of crying. Aneal couldn’t be more friendly.
Has Suzette forgotten that SHE CAMPAIGNED AGAINST ANEAL?!
What it’s like listening to Suzette’s logic since the premiere.
ANEAL: I just think that you’re such a positive representative of the First Na–
SUZETTE: Aneal, you’ve been backstabbing me the whole damn week so you better shut your f—ing mouth!
ANEAL: You weren’t even there for me when I was (fake) crying! I was on the block! You voted me out!
So she disowned the only person besides Gary who was prepared to flip this game around? Suzette may go down as one of the worst players in BB history. Plus I love how she blew up on Aneal when he made one of the most heartwarming statements possible.
SUZETTE (to ALEC and TOPAZ): I have no safety in this house because I’m not sleeping with anybody, cuddling with anyone, holding people, I have nobody here.
Alec and Topaz must love hearing you say that to their face. Gary’s feelings would be hurt if he heard Suzette’s speech.
– Peter comments on Tom’s thunder being taken away because of Suzette’s outburst.
I don’t think Tom has ever been in a situation where somebody acts more over-the-top than him. Besides Gary, of course.
– Alec tries to express empathy to Suzette. Gary joins in on the conversation. Alec keeps telling Suzette to not give up. He acknowledges that he must evict her eventually, but feels bad because she is a person with feelings.
– Tom is preparing to evict her. Emmett knows they could evict her or Gary. It’s time to check out Tom’s HoH room. Suzette agrees to check out the room because she wanted to save what little face she has left.
– What does his room look like?
Amusing thing is that I have a monkey in my bedroom too. It’s an alpha male thing.
Good ol Pepsi Max advertising spot. Tom cheers over seeing Pepsi Max. There is plenty of protein powder too. Tom passes around the photos as if people were genuinely interested.
TOM: I wanted the contestants to see the soft side of me. I know I come off hard, but I am a sensitive guy.
Liza knows that the ‘hard’ statement is false.
– Pictures of Tom with his papa.
TOM: He’s a sly looking devil.
LIZA: I’ve had the pleasure of already getting to know a softer side of Tom.
See? Although she managed to associate ‘pleasure’ with ‘Tom’ in the same sentence with a straight face.
– Tom passes around the photo of his puppy named ‘Baby’. It broke him down. He washes down this moment with alcohol. I hear it’s a healthy way to deal with all of your sorrows.
TOM: I expect to see each of you up here this week. No bulls—. Just chill.
Suzette of course takes the opportunity to say she will not do so.
– Gary and Suzette talk in their room.
By now Gary’s glittery face is so normal that at first I thought nothing of it. That is A LOT of glitter.
– Suzette calls Tom a ‘redneck’.
Derogatory terms FTW? Meanwhile in a Vancouver Island newspaper. . .
– Gary is happy because Suzette had the outburst to preserve his safety.
SUZETTE: I am the oddball out.
– Tom listens to some music and studies his photographs. His mom is his source of inspiration. He has never told anyone that his mom is going through breast cancer. He kisses both pictures like they were his biceps.
– Emmett joins him. Tom says the only way for Suzette to not be a nominee is for her to apologize. She would’ve been safe otherwise, apparently. Emmett wants Gary to be on the block right away. He wants a tie between Gary and Suzette so he has the power to send Gary home.
-Alec and Emmett are in the hot tub together. Alec admits that he doesn’t like Tom because he is volatile and impulsive. Emmett pretends to not react to Alec’s honesty. Alec tells Emmett that he looks to him to keep Tom under control, and knows they need Tom to keep being himself to maintain him, Emmett, and Peter in the shadows. Tom absorbs the target. Alec wants Tom to continue to act as being superior.
– Topaz and Alec chat in the make-up room. The more he trusts Topaz, the more he feels like he wants to keep Topaz around. Topaz talks with Alec in the red circular bedroom.
– Plan is to put up Suzette and Aneal. However Topaz was told that Tom wants Gary on the block. Alec wants to push for Gary to stay because he knows he will go within the first four weeks. Topaz admits she has a connection with Gary that is beyond this game.
– Topaz is worried that Gary could win a series of veto competitions and put them in serious trouble. Alec knows Topaz may seem like she is sleeping and doing nothing, but she is focused on the game despite her wanting to keep Gary around. Yeah. She was pointing out all of the ways that Gary could stay.
– Topaz went against Tom’s advice and went up to HoH room to tell Tom that she trusts Gary. She is nervous doing so, but wants to keep Gary. She admits she trusts him, Gary, and Alec.
TOPAZ: You are the biggest threat in this house. More than Emmett.
This conversation is pure suicide. You may as well turn your cards around as if you are Vanna White.
– Topaz tells Tom that if he is up on the block again that players will vote him out first opportunity because he may never be vulnerable in the game again.
TOM: Who do you want to leave next week?
TOPAZ: Suzette. Because Gary is not gunning for you. Suzette is coming after you because she knows everyone will be coming after the biggest threat–you.
Who would Gary target then? Just out of curiosity.
– Topaz points out that Suzette will be motivated to compete until she eliminates Tom. True. Topaz’s brutal honesty may have worked out. She thinks she cemented the trust with Tom. No beating around the bush when it comes to Topaz.
TOM: If this doesn’t work out and Gary makes a move against me, you’re sleeping with me in the HoH room tonight.
Slow down, Tom. One showmance at a time.
So there you go. Topaz is known for being something besides Alec’s showmance partner. She has her own distinct strategy and personality in this game.
– Time for Have-Nots competition.
Tom puts on one of Emmett’s favourite childhood outfits.
– Liza is attracted to the outfit. Emmett thinks Tom looks like a pig farmer. Really? I couldn’t have made that distinction.
– Talla has been on slop for. . .just one week. Talla and Peter comment on hating slop. So does Alec.
– The team of Andrew, Gary, Emmett, and AJ are the only ones to not have any previous slop victims. Everyone on the blue team knows they will win because Gary has blue glitter power. Andrew and AJ embrace the glitter. Gary wrestles with Emmett before putting glitter on him.
– Competition: Dem Apples.
GREEN: Jillian, Topaz, Aneal, Alec.
– Jillian returns with her baby voice. Glad she is irrelevant to the storyline this week. Come to think of it, Jillian has a very Lorelai Gilmore way of carrying herself. I’m sure I’ll run with this reference more throughout the season.
– One at a time one person will put a big apple into a slingshot. They must shoot it over the hedge. Players on the other side of the hedge wear a basket that will attempt to catch the apples.
A visual to give you an idea of what’s going on.
– Red team consists of Peter, Suzette, Liza, and Talla. They’re so screwed. Last team will be the crabapples and be on slop for the week.
– Peter views Suzette as a liability as best, him and Talla have no energy from being on slop, so it’s all on Liza.
– I should note that the slingshot requires 3 people to operate while only one basket catcher.
– Peter and Andrew can catch apples. Jillian can’t get it over the hedge for Alec to catch any. Andrew has caught six. Then eight. Then ten. That’s it. The blue glitter takes credit for the success.
– Peter has nine. Talla says her coaching was just screaming Peter’s name the whole time.
– Alec still only had one apple. He is on slop for another week. Not impressed.
ALEC: Nobody will want to be on my team because I lose everything.
You do know it’s only been two competitions, right?
– Slop for this round is beaver tails and poutine. It would suck for me because I am vegetarian/borderline vegan. I’d prefer slop. The green team celebrates over the poutine being awarded by the viewing audience.
ALEC: It’s like a beautiful poutine dream.
Said no one outside of Quebec ever.
I should note the first time I tried poutine was two years ago. It tasted awful. Truly awful.
– Tom tells Emmett about his conversation with Topaz that Suzette will be the wiser nominee. He is focues on ousting Suzette now. Tom intends to tell Gary he will nominate him, win PoV, then take him off to put up AJ.
– Production calls the house to the living room couch. They are told someone has been tampering with the camera, which is apparently a serious offense under the laws of Petoria. Everyone will be punished. Daggers are tossed around the room.
PRODUCER: Be ready for one hell of a night.
It’s funny because I am watching this on April 1st. He may as well have said “April Fool’s! This is just a guise for a sleep-deprived veto competition.”
– Jarring alarm goes off. Everyone must rush to the living room so they can be given a task. Their first task is to form a human pyramid. Talla accidentally kicks Aneal in the testicles.
It’s unbelievable how much she reminds me of my friend Karrina.
This is the lamest assignment I have ever seen. It’s like a sixth grade camping trip.
– The alarm goes off again. Talla found it to be unbelievably loud.
– Everyone is instructed to get into one of the two showers and have the water on for five minutes. Well no wonder Canada has a large ecological footprint.
– Tom and Andrew are in one shower while everyone else is in the other show. Suzette looks at Tom then goes into the shower that already has eight or nine people. I bet they wanted Suzette to be logical, but oh well. It’s only temporary.
– It’s 8 vs. 5 in terms of shower distribution. Plus Suzette is one of the eight so it’s really nine. Gary just finished straightening his hair and hates
ALEC: I’m getting an erection!
This shower just got a whole lot more interesting.
– 2:31am. Alarm goes off. Talla was doing her nails and screams loud by even her standards. I think Talla’s scream may be louder than the alarm. She probably goes into Screaming Championships with twelve year olds.
This is why you don’t paint your nails at 230 in the morning.
– Easiest challenge was brushing each other’s teeth. Peter claims him and Aneal had a really good system. Tom, Gary, and Suzette had to work together. I would say Talla’s retainer was a highlight.
I think the parental guidance rating just bumped this up to 18A.
– 344am. They have to do fifteen jumping jacks outside before submerging themselves in the water.
– 421am. They have to do a dance party in the living room. Talla wore her bra outside her shirt. Andrew was the drunk guy at the wedding. They sit down.
Emmett redefines the meaning of bedhead. I applaud you sir. Gary took five minutes to come out which upsets everyone else because they had to hear it the whole time until everyone was in the living room. Not cool.
– The task was that everyone had to be on their knees except one person. In addition, they had to make a circle of objects from the kitchen. Furthermore, they must be ranked from smallest to largest. Gary slept on a cushion as the challenge played out. Everyone notices.
– Challenge is complete.
GARY: Glitter shame on whoever tampered with the camera.
Mariah Carey experienced Glitter Shame long ago.
– Peter had fun because he would never have the opportunity to do something like this again. I am in the same boat as Peter. Once in a lifetime experience. He enjoyed seeing everyone else be miserable.
– Topaz and Gary strategize in the hammock. They discuss Tom and Liza’s tightening relationship. Gary wants a secret fake alliance with Tom at Topaz’s request. Topaz asks Gary what their alliance should be.
Secret Wedding Alliance. That’s what they’re calling it. Yeah. They’re really running out of alliance names in these shows. At least it isn’t Four Horsement for the tenth time.
– Gary and Tom converse in the HoH room. They agree to cooperate. Gary says he is neutral and wants to do Tom’s dirty work. Tom requests him to get closer to Topaz and Liza.
– All that’s left is the nomination ceremony. He stares at portraits and keys. Suzette must be up. Tom views Gary as his only competition. We know who one nominee is, but the other nominee will probably be someone random like AJ.
Gary and Suzette are nominated. Suzette laughs. Tom applauds Gary as a fighter and respects him, and sees him as a threat. Clearly he’s the pawn.
TOM: I was going to do this calmly until you started snickering. Straight up, you’re a liar and that makes me mad. I told you straight up I would not backdoor you. I kept my word.
And I bet Suzette still has zero clue.
SUZETTE: You put up a plus-sized woman who is 30-40 pounds overweight. . .
Let’s not be generous here.
SUZETTE: . . .And a mom of three on the block. That’s your big strategic move as HoH? Real big game move.
I believe yours was “nominate the two people sitting the furthest to my left”.
– Gary doesn’t feel safe knowing he is an unofficial pawn. I mean, look at Danielle.
VOICEOVER: Who will win the Power of Veto? Will Suzette be saved from elimination? Or will the house flop and evict Gary? And in an eviction twist, CANADA votes to save one of the nominees.
CANADA VOTES?! NO! NO! NO! NO! This is NOT BIG BROTHER 2000! THIS IS NOT BIG BROTHER 8 WITH AMERICA’S PLAYER! NO! NO! NO! NO! THE VIEWING AUDIENCE ONLY SEES A LIMITED AMOUNT OF FOOTAGE! THEY’RE BIASED! WHAT’S THE POINT OF PLAYING WHEN THE PLAYERS CAN’T PLAY! NO! NO! NO! I DON’T WANT THE WINNER TO HAVE AN ASTERISK! NO!
P.S. I will not reference Mariah Carey anymore. I’m sorry. There just isn’t too many things to reference when it comes to glitter, and in the words of Jimmy T, I can’t not NOT be heard when I see a person with a Chronic Glittering Disorder! Maybe AJ will perk up and do something worth blogging about.