The Ultimate Fighter 10 episodes 7-9 ranking

Seventh episode

Previously on TUF: Matt Mitrione gave up his team’s fight picks and further tested Rashad’s patience with a nagging shoulder injury. And Darrill Schoonover responded to Rampage’s harassment with a first round submission over Zak Jensen. Now four fighters have yet to be tested. Can Marcus Jones and Scott Junk claim victory for Team Rampage or will Mitrione and Mike Wessel preserve Team Rashad’s perfect record? Who will move on to become The Ultimate Fighter?

– That was one of the longest recaps. And surprisingly, they did not mention Kimbo Slice once. I think it’s safe to say he is done for good this season. How long will it be before they change the dang theme song? And there are a lot of x’s besides Rampage’s Confessional Count section.

– Rampage has more losses in a row than Shamrock. Nobody has had six consecutive losses to start out the season.

– Rashad impersonates Rampage being beat up by Wanderlei Silva in PRIDE. Then Rampage impersonates Rashad being knocked out by Machida. It was a really good impression. I am impressed.

– Rashad and Rampage talk about the current records.

– Fight Announcement time.

RAMPAGE: Gayshad Evans.
RASHAD: Whampage, the whining b—-.

I think the maturity of Jeremy May exceeds the maturity of these coaches. The first grade insults never cease to amaze me on TUF.

RASHAD: You’ve been knocked out more than I’ve been knocked out.

– Matt Mitrione versus Scott Junk. I don’t understand why the final fight isn’t announced, but whatever. Dana talks about how Mitrione is an unknown in MMA thanks to a career in the NFL. He knows Scott Junk because he has fought in the UFC. Dana views him as tough standing and on the ground. He strongly believes Junk will win. Junk shrugs and shimmies during the staredown. It’s about as weird of a staredown since Jeremy May.

– Rashad does indeed make the final fight announcement. Mike Wessel versus Big Baby. Dana views it as David vs. Goliath. It’s a major size difference.

TIKI: The darkness.

RAMPAGE: You treat me like a girl.
RASHAD: Treat me like a girl.
RAMPAGE: Who you think?
RASHAD: You’re not gonna treat me like a girl.
(JUNK breaks it up for a second.)
RASHAD: I’ll make you quit like you quit this competition. And you quit in the finals.
RAMPAGE: I ain’t quittin’ in the finals. My team has quit in the cage. I’m not in the cage.
RASHAD: I win and you talk. That’s the difference.
(Incoherent rambling continues.)
RAMPAGE: You’re so full of yourself.
RASHAD: You’re so full of yourself you can’t focus on the competition.You’re not coaching.
RAMPAGE: I’m not a coach.
RASHAD: He quit on y’all from day one. Remember that.

– McSweeney thinks it has gone past the point where they are trash-talking just to build up a fight.

RAMPAGE: Why you have one shoe on and one shoe off?
RASHAD: Because I was ready to break your mothaf—ing a–.
RAMPAGE: You feel froggy, jump!

You. . .feel. . .froggy. . .jump? What the heck is that.

– Rampage begs for Rashad to take off both shoes and jump him. They continue on some more. Mitrione holds Rampage back. Rashad calls him soft ten times until the door closes. Rampage claims he was close to knocking his teeth down his throat. Yeah, right.

– Morning at the House. Mitrione tucks a note away in his shorts. Junk tells a couple of his teammates that Mitrione showed him the note. It said that Mike was too scared to fight Junk, and that’s why it’s Junk vs. Mitrione instead. Junk doesn’t believe it, and told Mike about the note. Mike thinks it is dumb.

– Mike hopes Mitrione’s family is watching to know how big of a d-bag is. Everybody, regardless of team, thinks it is stupid.

– We are introduced to Mitrione’s personal life. He talks about his NFL career, and views MMA as a symphony. Rashad is happy with how he matched up the fighters. McSweeney thinks Mitrione lacks technique.

– McSweeney tells Rashad about the note. Rashad thinks it is a projection of Mitrione’s own fears. The real reason should be that Mitrione was too scared to fight Marcus.

– Mitrione is called into the office. Rashad tells him how stupid it was but will coach him regardless. He tries to get him focused on winning the contract. I bet Mitrione doesn’t feel

– Mitrione is talking to Schaub. He claims he has demons and voices in his head that he fails to silence. He thinks fighting is peaceful. Say anything to get airtime. Or too many concussions in the NFL.

– Sims finds it amusing that there is an infestation of rats in the house. Perhaps Team Rashad’s spirit will be broken?

– Junk says there is a difference between fighters who go for the win versus fighters who fight to not lose. Wouldn’t that mean they win? MMA fighters really need to take logic courses.

– Everyone on Team Rampage wants Junk to beat up Mitrione and make it like a fourth of July.

JUNK: Technique is out the window when I scrap.

Then why go into a six week training camp where you learn techniques? Jesus.

– House time. Mitrione and Jon have had conflict all season. Mitrione makes a pan of bacon. He proceeds to take a glass of Jon’s one gallon orange juice. Jon is in the kitchen at the same time and asks Mitrione if he asked. He didn’t and thinks it is “a family sized orange juice”.

I can drink two litres of chocolate milk in three hours. Nothing family sized about a one gallon orange juice in a household of sixteen people.

MITRIONE: I don’t think we need to ask.
MARCUS: I asked.
MITRIONE: Jon is a condescending d-bag. He acts like he knows everything and is always right, then everyone else agrees because they don’t know what they’re talking about.

15 vs. 1 in an argument? And Mitrione is the 1? Yeah, I’d say Mitrione is right in that situation.

– McSweeney told Mitrione about the comment where Jon wanted to slap him as he left the room.

– Rashad training session. The assistant coaches tell Mitrione to go sixty percent in the first two minutes. Mitrione goes one hundred percent right away. Jon eventually steps off the mat.


– The coaches have to escort Mitrione to the locker room. Rashad is in disbelief that this is why Mitrione is angry.

RASHAD: Why are you so concerned that he is threatening to slap you when he is on your team and you haven’t fought your first fight yet?! Please tell me why?! Save it for your fight in a couple days! You want to rest your shoulder but you want to blow it out on your teammate!

– Mitrione flexes and seems like he wants to fight Rashad. He is in disbelief he is that stupid. Mitrione continues freaking out in the kitchen.

– Rashad is laughing hysterically in the locker room with his coaches. Mitrione barely lifts his arm for a week then the first time he can lift his arm he directly challenges a teammate.

– House time. Mitrione is playing basketball alone. Everyone else is on the patio together. McSweeney comes up with a new pool.

MCSWEENEY: What day will the rat snap?

SIMS: When a superhero is needed, he calls for a pawn.

– Somebody is dressed up in a gi. It’s Sims. He goes through the bushes and is hiding in the basketball court. Mitrione is ridiculously oblivious. Again, the NFL concussions. Everyone is laughing loudly. How can Mitrione not see this? Is it a set-up by production? The cameras must be right there.

– Sims grabs Mitrione from behind as Mitrione exited the court. Shivers knows Sims won’t quit this until Mitrione breaks. Sims and Mitrione play pool. Mitrione insists for Sims not to touch him. Everyone giggles as Sims tries to do anything to enrage him. Mitrione quits billiards and sits outside with a beer.

– Booze and conflict. Sims sits down in his ninja outfit. Mitrione walks away again.

– Next morning. Fight Day. A “What Day Will the Rat Snap” is posted on the fireplace with a sign that says “Do Not Remove”. If you pause it, you can see that Rampage signed up for a day too. Mitrione sees the paper but doesn’t blow up.

– Junk is eating a power bar.

– Rashad observes that Mitrione is in a good mood.

MITRIONE: I talked to my wife.
RASHAD: Oh, you got a phone call.
(MITRIONE points to his head.)
RASHAD: This boy’s cheese has fell off its cracker.

– Rashad putting up with Mitrione reminds me of Mir putting up with Junie. Both fighters keep going on about how they believe they will win.


JUNK: Keep your mouth shut Matt, cause you’re a f—ing dummy.


MITRIONE: I’ve already beat Scott Junk six or seven times in my head.

At least they’re getting creative with their trash talking lines.

– We rewind back to a scene where Rashad tells his team to have their eye on the prize. If they don’t, they’ve already lost. It’s like the editors forgot to include a scene and decided to insert it right before the fight at the last minute.

Personally, it reminds me of the tips from the early seasons of The Apprentice. You know, where Trump shows a montage of himself closing a deal and trying to teach the viewers at home a lesson? Rashad’s first lesson is “keep your eyes on the prize”.

– Dana introduces the fight. Rosenthal is our referee. They prance. Junk misses a leg kick. Mitrione lands a jab. They never touched gloves. Mitrione drops Junk with a couple punches. Mitrione refuses to enter the ground game and lets Junk stand up. Both trade. Mitrione lands a wicked punch that drops Junk again. What happened to Junk being the best guy in the house?

– Mitrione misses a couple of ugly punches and kicks. Junk tries to rush in. He fires a leg but Mitrione grabs it and takes him down. Junk comes back up. Junk falls to the ground again for no reason. Mitrione comes in with big swooping punches and a couple knees to the ribs. He has hit the back of the head a couple times.

– Rosenthal signals Junk back up.  Both land a jab. Mitrione lands a kick that drops Junk. Rosenthal signals Junk back up. Mitrione connects with a leg kick. So does Junk. Mitrione goes back on the offense with punches and kicks. Junk blocks most of them. Junk goes down and hugs a leg but Mitrione gets out easily.

– Junk is back against the cage. Mitrione resumes the offensive tactic. Neither of them are doing anything. Mitrione keeps pushing the pace with more punches to the head. Both look exhausted. Those punches look like they are in slow motion.

– Both are connecting with numerous punches. None of them are being blocked. Junk has Mitrione against the cage. Some dirty boxing by Junk. Junk goes with hugging Mitrione against the cage. Mitrione breaks away and they punch and kick in the centre of the octagon. Mitrione keeps landing. Junk starts charging but few are connecting. Both swing for the fences. Junk is getting the better of this exchange. A ton of the punches are landing on Mitrione’s chin. Mitrione can take a shot. Nothing must be left in those punches because nobody is going down and they require a big wind-up. End of round.

– Round two. Mitrione starts the action with a few jabs and a leg kick. Three more jabs. Junk starts trading with Mitrione. I will be amazed if this doesn’t go to decisiion. These guys have zero gas left in the tank. They continue with more jabs. Mitrione is the only one throwing kicks.

– Mitrione keeps up with the slowest jabs. There isn’t a universe where these should be landing. Junk goes for a takedown. . .and SUCCEEDS! He is in Mitrione’s guard. Junk throws five punches in thirty seconds. Mitrione is doing the most damage from the bottom. Mitrione and Junk start trading.  Junk has zero interest in advancing position. They continue trading. A couple warnings from Rosenthal. Rosenthal finally breaks it up.

– They’re up. Mitrione was very close to kicking the groin. Even if he connects it wouldn’t do damage. Mitrione is landing four jabs on Junk’s chin. These are by far the slowest sequence punches I have seen. I think Sakuraba and Gracie had more energy after eighty minutes than these guys did after five.

– Both fighters WALK AWAY from each other. Rosenthal reminds them to finish strong. The fighters turn around and throw slow looping jabs. Junk is doing nothing except stumbling around like Leben after too many drinks. He eventually charges into Mitrione against the cage but gives up. Mitrione throws more jabs. Both fighters land a leg kick. End of round. Ugliest round of MMA I have seen.

– Dana tries to sell the fight as those two throwing bombs. I don’t know if they qualify as bombs. We have come to a decision.

– 19-19 for one judge; 20-18; and Cecil Peoples scored it 20-18 for Mitrione. Rampage thought it should go another round. His favourite fighter lost.

– Rampage goes NUTS. He throws a water bottle like Matt Hughes in TUF 2 except this one shatters against the ceiling. He proceeds to kick and punch holes in the door. He massacres it. The door is shattered. Pieces everywhere. That’s how it ends.  No elimination confessionals, no fight recaps. Nothin’. That’s it.

Next Time on TUF: Marcus Jones loses his cool. Darrill Schoonover stands up to Rampage. The final preliminary fight. Can Marcus Jones defeat Mike Wessel and prevent a Team Rashad sweep? And the quarter-finals are announced. Who will become the next Ultimate Fighter?






Rank the Fights

1) Demico Rogers vs. Brendan Schaub (Unusual positions were used in this fight. It was quick but there was non-stop action on the ground. The unique anaconda choke on the ground is the biggest highlight thus far as Rashad is up 4-nil.)

2) Wes Sims vs. Justin Wren (Sims submitted into unconsciousness by an arm triangle? Well, I can’t say he didn’t live up to my expectations. The strikes they traded on their feet was impressive.)

3) Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson (Big names who end up finishing the fight before it goes to the lousy judges? Sadly it’s the best one after three episodes.)

4) Wes Shivers vs. James McSweeney (It was a very average affair.)

5) Matt Mitrione vs. Scott Junk (The most pathetic stand-up affair. Even worse than Jay London’s stand-up. Those wind-ups into their punches were slow-motion and seemed to have zero power behind them. The only good thing about the fight is that it triggered Rampage’s reaction to smash a water bottle and collapse a perfectly fine door. 7-0. Pass the Sugar Rashad!

6) Zak Jensen vs. Darrill Schoonover (It was a very sloppy affair. Early triangle choke by Darrill. Fatigue and lack of jiu jitsu knowledge dictated the outcome of this fight.)

7) Abe Wagner vs. Jon Madsen (It will be a shame if this isn’t the worst fight of the season. A cut so deep that we saw the bone in Abe’s forehead, though. I can’t recall seeing a fight with three stand-ups in one round.)

Eighth episode

Previously on TUF: Marcus Jones unleashed his power and raged at practice. Michael Wessel was outraged by a note that said he was afraid of Scott Junk. In the seventh preliminary fight, Matt Mitrione went toe-to-toe with Rampage favourite, Junk in a brutal slugfest. He took the win in a controversial decision. Next, Jones is Rampage’s last hope as he takes on Wessel in the final preliminary fight. Who will move one step closer to becoming the Ultimate Fighter?

– Intro time.

– We recap Matt’s majority decision win. Rampage recaps how Junk being dropped really threw off his game. Junk admits Mitrione had power. Justin thought Junk trained at ten percent of his potential because he has never looked that bad.

– Schaub recaps how two sloths fought in the second round. Mitrione says it was the toughest opponent he faced. Rampage thought it should have gone to a third round. Junk has a nasty bruise under his eye.

– We see everyone and the cameras gathering to watch Rampage break the door.

DANA: Worst part about that is it shows how cheap our doors are. They look like egg crates.

DANA: The last thing you want to be on TUF is a door. There is no future being a door here.

One of the funniest remarks Dana has ever made. I’d love to see a TUF montage of doors being broken.

– Rashad thinks Rampage was being a clown tearing out a door.

– Rampage is huffing and puffing in the locker room.

RAMPAGE: It was embarrassing. A temper tantrum. The door didn’t do anything to me. I should’ve apologized to the door.

I have a feeling he did it as a joke.

– House time. Junk is icing his bruise. He can’t see out of his left eye and the other eye has blurry vision. Junk knows others wouldn’t have recovered, but he wants to keep up fighting. Mitrione enters and feels his brain rattled so he goes to sleep right away.

– Pool time.

SIMS: When you win a fight, you deserve a reward. We’re going to throw Matt a party. Is he asleep? We’re gonna wake him up. Every party has a pooper, but he can’t be the party pooper because the party is for him.

SIMS: Matt got the holy hell beat out of him. Junk may have lost the battle, but I think he won the war.

Uh oh, Sims. Looks like somebody may be kicked out of the house.

– McSweeney feels that Mitrione is not faking his current pain and is hurting more than Junk. The music escalates.

– Sims wants to celebrate and enters his room firing silly string as he yells “Celebrate!” over and over. Mitrione tells him to get out. And that’s the end of that. I wish Sims would have taken it a step forward to make Mitrione get a taste of his own melodramatic medicine, but sadly it ends here.

– Rampage thinks about how seven soldiers have fallen and how Big Baby is their last hope. He tries to psych Marcus up, and dare I say goes into ‘coach’ mode for once as he personally trains with Marcus during the training session. Marcus thinks he could win this competition. For whatever reason, Marcus reminds of a guy I know named Schenk. Just the way he talks and his demeanour. I dunno.

– House time. Marcus screams while laying on a couch. There’s a bug on the floor. Justin is trying to kill it as Marcus keeps freaking out. Marcus initially saw it when he stepped on the floor to go to the bathroom. He tries to remember if he screamed or not.

MARCUS: You can cut the part out where I screamed. I thought if I scream loud enough, it would deafen the creature and let someone else sneak up on it.

Yeah. Sure, Big Baby.

– Justin raises the “scorpion spider” and pretends to put it in front of Marcus. He is highly amused that the most intimidating guy in the house is afraid of bugs. Marcus runs away when someone puts the spider on the couch. Everyone couldn’t be more amused.

– On the other side of the spectrum, Michael Wessel talks about his wife who has surgeries and cancer. He teas up in the confessional. Michael sends her a card every day to make her laugh and make her feel better. Well that segment was a bit of a downer.

– Michael Wessel tells us that his first fight in the UFC was on the Rashad-Griffin card where he fought Anthoni Hardonk. He tells us how Marcus will be the biggest guy he will ever face in the UFC. Rashad’s gameplan is for him to use his overhand right and avoid takedowns.

I thought it was UFC 92. Turns out I was right. That’s scary. I don’t remember Wessel, but I guess being defeated via strikes in round 2 for being far down the heavyweight ladder will not be memorable. I love how he references that fight as if everyone commends him for his heart when really he downright lost.

– Wessel wants the win because he wishes to be respected, legitimized, and to be viewed as a ‘crazy son of a b—-.’ He doesn’t believe the big man doesn’t always win. Well, that’s how UFC started.

– Random clip of Rampage being shoved by an assistant coach with another guy kneeling behind him to ensure the fall. Uh, okay.

– Rampage training session. He wants to challenge Marcus to a fight jokingly but Marcus wants to respect him. Marcus tells us about how he never became a student of NFL despite loving the competition aspect. In MMA, he is obsessed. More obsessed than me who has watched 2, 000 matches in the past twenty months. Marcus trumps this by claiming he wakes up at 300am to watch some cards.

MARCUS: Man I could watch this every single day 24 hours a day. I wake up at three o’ clock in the morning to watch some old fights sometimes. One of those things where I literally cannot get enough of it. It’s like being fed ice cream. If you love ice cream every single day, all of a sudden you wake up and see two more tubs.

I was not expecting that analogy.

– Rampage knows Marcus is hungry (for ice cream?) but doesn’t know if he has the skill. He comments on how Marcus does a huffing laugh whenever he learns something. Suddenly we see a bunch of tape that proves this. They laugh too because they have never seen somebody so excited to learn techniques. Rampage doesn’t do the greatest Marcus impression. He finds himself cracking up as he continues his Marcus impression.

– Marcus says he would feel sick if he missed out on this. He no longer wants to be remembered as an ex-NFLer who tried to cross over. Marcus insists he does not have any sort of MMA background.

– Marcus accidentally punches Rampage on the chin instead of his hands. It turns into a comedic effect as Rampage pretends to collapse.

– Rashad’s team draws a “Coaches Wanted” sign for Marcus Big Baby/The Darkness.

“The Darkness sucks balls.”  McSweeney refuses to tell the camera who added the “sucks balls” line. Schaub drew everything else in the picture. There are three talking bubbles surrounding Marcus’ face.

1. “I ❤ jiu jitsu”.
2. “I wanna roll with you n—er.”
3. Sorry, someone else’s hand writing that is illegible.

– McSweeney assumes that everyone on Team Rampage, including Marcus, will take it as a joke.

You do know why he has the nickname Big Baby, right?

– Marcus’ face falls when Junk tells him about the note. Marcus takes down the notes instantly. He curses out everyone else loudly because his family will be watching from home. Marcus insists he can’t do that crap no more so he sits alone at the basketball court.

The basketball court has really turned into a Loner’s Court over the years. Anybody who takes time alone always sets their feet on the basketball court.

– Schaub knows Marcus has every right to be upset, but thinks it was blown out of proportion.

SCHAUB: Let’s not blow it out of proportion here. It’s a freaking drawing.

Tell that to a Danish cartoonist.

– McSweeney jokes that a seven foot Black man wants to. . .I can’t understand his accent. Wessel admits he wrote the “sucks balls” line.  He thinks it is ridiculous that everyone has a sense of humour but Marcus pouted for over an hour when someone wrote “sucks balls” on a drawing.

If Marcus finds out, I’d hate to be the guy in the octagon with him the next day.

– Marcus asks McSweeney who wrote it. McSweeney says whoever did it is a man and will admit he did it. Marcus intends to rip the arm off of whoever did it. Luckily he will be in the octagon with that man, so he can legally rip his arm.

– Kimbo and Marcus discuss not being able to contact home. What is this? Day 31 clip of a season of Survivor?

Yeah, Day 31 is almost always the family visit.

– Rampage wants to make up with Darrill. Of course he doesn’t call him Darrill. He shakes his hand. They hug.

RAMPAGE: If I didn’t like T-tties, I could’ve called him B—- T–s.

– They play around for a bit and both are smiling.  Rampage squeezes one of Darrill’s t-tties. Rampage has the biggest grin on his face. The only thing that could escalate the homoeroticism is if Rampage liked to lay and pray in the octagon.

– Darrill doesn’t like this and smiles before shoving Rampage. They come face-to-face as a fight is about to work out. Rashad’s team has to hold back Darrill. Rampage is still giggling. Schaub is still laughing.

TIKI: Did you motorboat him?
RAMPAGE: I wouldn’t motorboat t-tties.

Then what would you motorboat?

RAMPAGE: I thought it was cool and I grabbed his t-tty, but that wasn’t pretty. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like me grabbing his t-tty.  Felt good though.

Seriously, Rampage is way too fixated on t-tties.

– Rampage apologizes for everyone else in the gym to hear.

RAMPAGE: I was wrong. I should’ve never grabbed his t-tties. When I’m wrong I admit it.

RAMPAGE: I was wrong grabbing his t-tty. You should never grab somebody’s t-tties if they don’t like it.

Rampage talks about t-tties more than the cast of Big Brother Canada.

– The second official weigh-in. No sponsour. Wessel weighs in at 260. Kimbo talks about Wessel being referred to as the White Mike Tyson or the Juggernaut because he comes forward and swings from his pockets. Meanwhile, Marcus is The Darkness. Like Charlie Murphy.

KIMBO: Once he gets ahold of you, you are done dolla.

Done dolla? Good luck figuring that one out.

– Justin thinks this is a scary fight for Mike. We see how big Marcus’ hands are as he stares into Mike’s eyes and has his giant fists nearly touching Mike’s face. He is huge.

– Fight Day. The most boring part of the episode. Dramatic drumming up music. Mike’s wife says she hates the way Mike looks prior to each fight, according to Mike’s wife. Marcus missed his child’s birthday for this. Marcus wants to prove himself in the octagon. Good thing the octagon is known as the ultimate proving ground.

– The first pair of gloves don’t fit Marcus. They request more gloves. A pair finally fits Marcus. Both players practice in their octagons.



– Another random scene. They have been doing this for the past several episodes. I hope this trend stops because it would be annoying as a TV viewer. Rampage tells Tiki about how he was too busy laughing while grabbing T-tties’ t-tty that he wasn’t prepared to be charged by him in the gym.

RAMPAGE: I thought there would be muscle but it was all tissue.
TIKI: Who doesn’t like t-tties?

– The tale of the tape for the episode while it aired is from Call of Duty. The later episodes always have an increase in sponsours. Although nobody sponsoured the official weigh-in.

– Dana introduces the final preliminary fight. It is Rampage’s last chance for victory.

– Rosenthal is the referee.

– Mike circles. He charges in with a couple punches. Marcus attempts to clinch but Mike keeps breaking it up. Mike refuses to escape the next clinch and is taken down by Marcus. He pulls guard. Marcus works a wrist but Mike spins. Unfortunately Marcus takes Wessel’s back.

– He has the hooks in. Mike rotates to be on top in Marcus’ guard. As soon as he does this Marcus grabs his wrist and a submission happens right away. Wow. Quickest and best fight yet. Short and sweet. Some of the other fights have been short, but they usually involve poor technique.

– Fight recap. The only interesting bit from it:

RASHAD: Mike gets on top and thought ‘time for some serious ground and pound’. Wrong. Big Baby pulls off the quickest armbar I have ever seen. I still don’t know where it came from. I don’t even know where he grabbed the arm. Next thing I know our guy is tapping. That was quick. Big Baby is no joke.

Clearly Ronda Rousey hasn’t entered the MMA world. Marcus has set the mark with an armbar in less than fifty seconds.

– Rampage almost screamed “like a little girl”. Dana made fun of him. The fighters on the side think the arm was broken, but Mike says it wasn’t broken. However, it looks deformed and nothing like it should be. Everyone is impressed with Marcus’ jiu jitsu.

– Rashad is not fazed by a loss. He’ll take 7-1. It’s a record regardless. We would love a Koror-like sweep to happen in TUF 10 to draw the parallel to Survivor 10, but we’ll take it. Future seasons aim for the sweep feat. All you need is the opposing coach to pick the fourteenth or fifteenth best fighter as their first pick.

– Rashad tries to console Wessel but Wessel breaks away immediately. Who’s the Big Baby now?

– Wessel is disappointed for his wife and cries in an interview well after the fight. He cries and cries and cries. Meanwhile, Marcus is stoked in the locker room. He followed through with ripping the arm of the guy who told him he sucked balls.

– Marcus is grinning and shouting in the interview. Junk is icing his eye. What the heck happened to him? His eye is still that bad four days later? Wow. That’s horrible.

– Rampage says everyone on his team wins if Marcus wins. Dana interrupts the celebration to grab Rampage then Rashad. Because the fight ended early and there wasn’t more footage to show, Dana and the coaches interview the quarter-finalists to ask who they want to fight.

– McSweeney asks who his choices are. Everyone on his team except Mike. Team Rashad starts eating their own.

MCSWEENEY: Darrill, Justin, or Matt.

RASHAD: So it’ll be a while before you get to call somebody in, huh Rampage?
RAMPAGE: . . .
(DANA chuckles.)

JON: Matt.
MATT: Jon or Marcus.
SCHAUB: Darrill, Matt, or Marcus.

– Darrill walks in.

DANA: Who do you think is the easiest guy here that could get you to your next level?
RAMPAGE: Everybody choosin’ you, they think you suck. I think you should pick Marcus.
DARRILL: Best bet would be to give me Matt.
RASHAD: And who else?
DARRILL: Marcus under that.

– Roy walks in.

DANA: You came here to win this show?
ROY: No, I just came here to dance.

– Dana asks who Roy matches up well against. Roy takes the sheet of all the names and says:

ROY: Darrill, James, Matt, Justin–

DANA: Roy Nelson rubs me the wrong way. I can’t explain it to you. He just comes out and talks all cocky. So I ask him who he wants to fight and says ‘anybody, I match up well with anybody here’. He starts telling me what everybody is good at. I didn’t f—ing ask you what everybody is good at.

– Conversation gets heated.

DANA: I’m gonna be honest with you. Your last fight wasn’t the most exciting fight.
ROY: It was.
DANA: You’re telling me everybody’s style while you’re not blowing my socks off.
ROY: But that was Kimbo. If it was this fight, we’d be bangin’. Because the thing is I have to win THREE to make it to where I gotta go. Let’s do it safe. Let’s get it done. Let’s get the W. So that’s why I’m saying ‘Justin, Darrill,’ those would be the safest bets because they’re not gonna hurt you.


– Have you been looking at the confessional counts for these episodes? Is there a name that has surprised you for how much they have been ignored?

Of course. The only guy who has above average success after 2009 ends: Roy Nelson. Sure, Schaub and Mitrione have fought in the UFC (Schaub just fought on the Rousey card and Mitrione fought at the TUF 16 finale), but Roy Nelson fought extensively leading into TUF 10 and fights frequently afterwards. I assume you know he is a coach for TUF 16.

Whoever has a big reputation, gets far in TUF, and is expected to do well after TUF, always has the most consistent and one of the highest percentages of airtime. Leben, Koscheck, Sanchez, Griffin, Evans, Bisping, Hammill, Kendall, Matt Serra, Nate Diaz, Danzig, Damarques Johnson, Ryan Bader, Soszynski.

Roy Nelson easily trumps many names on that list. But how in the world can Roy go four episodes without a confessional, and only one confessional in the fourth episode? Since the storyline of his clash with Kimbo ended in episode three, it’s like the editors have gone out of their way to avoid showing Roy. In addition, his only scene since then is the scene we just saw where he is insulted by Dana.

All we know about is that he is cocky, a loner, and arrogant. I bet that is why he has a lack of airtime rather than being viewed as too boring to air on TV. Anybody who makes it deep into the competition needs more time invested into their storyline unless it is a season with Matt Serra or your name is Tommy Speer.

Two-thirds of the way through the season and we are introduced to a quarter-finalist with one of the most negative edits we have seen.

– DANA: Rampage, get Marcus.
RASHAD: Get your lone fighter, please. He’s such a baby.
DANA: I feel like I’m driving my kids to f—ing school with you two. Leave Dana alone. Dana shut up. Don’t say that to him. Do you want me to pull this car over?

– Marcus and Rampage enter.

DANA: Who do you want to fight?
MARCUS: I’ll let coach pick for me.

This wouldn’t be an option for Rashad who would have to do this for all seven of his guys.

RAMPAGE: It’s up to you. I’d like to see him take out T-tties.
DANA: Nothing personal.
RASHAD: I think you should pick the opposite of him.
MARCUS: If that’s what coach thinks I will go with Darrill.

– Dana chuckles. I can’t recall anyone who didn’t say Darrill or Matt.

– Quarterfinal announcements. Suspenseful music plays.

JAMES vs. MATT (Matt is wearing pyjama pants).

– Rashad isn’t happy that Dana let Rampage pick his one fight.

– Rashad asks Dana how in the world he can train seven guys to fight each other. So he asks people from Team Rampage to train with him. Nobody is willing to speak up. Kimbo is asked to jump, but refuses. Apparently nobody sees the logic in this situation.

KIMBO: Ride or die.

– Rashad tells them that Rampage told them he gave up on them. Rampage’s team leaves right away. Rashad assumes that Rampage is here to make money. Rampage thinks Rashad is full of himself.

RAMPAGE: It’s called The Ultimate Fighter not The Ultimate Coach.

– Rashad asks Rampage to break another cardboard door. Rampage asks Rashad if he was ready for Machida but threw only one leg kick. McSweeney comes between the two again. They come closer and closer in the hallway. Both claim that each other is fake. Rampage boos him several times. I cannot follow this conversation.

RASHAD: You’re a sucker.
RAMPAGE: I’m a sucker? Treat me like a sucker.
RASHAD: Imma treat you like a sucker.
RAMPAGE: Come lick on me then.

– Rampage laughs hysterically in the locker room.

Next Time on TUF: Matt Mitrione is sent to the hospital. Will Kimbo Slice get a second chance? Then in the first quarterfinal fight, Rashad’s teammates collide as cage veteran Roy Big Country Nelson takes on Young Gun Justin Wren. Who will move on to the semis and one step closer to becoming the Ultimate Fighter?

Confessional Count





Rank the Fights

1) Marcus Jones vs. Michael Wessel (The precursor to Rousey Mania. It is the quickest and slickest armbar I have ever seen. Wessel learned what happens when you make Big Baby angry. Sadly, this is the best fight thus far.)

2) Demico Rogers vs. Brendan Schaub (Unusual positions were used in this fight. It was quick but there was non-stop action on the ground. The unique anaconda choke on the ground is the biggest highlight thus far as Rashad is up 4-nil.)

3) Wes Sims vs. Justin Wren (Sims submitted into unconsciousness by an arm triangle? Well, I can’t say he didn’t live up to my expectations. The strikes they traded on their feet was impressive.)

4) Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson (Big names who end up finishing the fight before it goes to the lousy judges? Sadly it’s the best one after three episodes.)

5) Wes Shivers vs. James McSweeney (It was a very average affair.)

6) Matt Mitrione vs. Scott Junk (The most pathetic stand-up affair. Even worse than Jay London’s stand-up. Those wind-ups into their punches were slow-motion and seemed to have zero power behind them. The only good thing about the fight is that it triggered Rampage’s reaction to smash a water bottle and collapse a perfectly fine door. 7-0. Pass the Sugar Rashad!

7) Zak Jensen vs. Darrill Schoonover (It was a very sloppy affair. Early triangle choke by Darrill. Fatigue and lack of jiu jitsu knowledge dictated the outcome of this fight.)

8) Abe Wagner vs. Jon Madsen (It will be a shame if this isn’t the worst fight of the season. A cut so deep that we saw the bone in Abe’s forehead, though. I can’t recall seeing a fight with three stand-ups in one round.)

Episode nine

* Per usual, TUF episodes are the weakest part of my blog. Quicker summaries with little summary and an absence of screen caps. Perhaps that caters to your tastes.

Previously on TUF: Matt Mitrione was rattled in his win over Scott Junk. Marcus Jones gave Team Rampage their only victory. Now the quarterfinals are set. First up: Roy Nelson takes on Justin Wren. Can the Kimbo Slayer claim his next victim? Or will the kid who put Wes Sims to sleep pull off another upset? Who will become the Ultimate Fighter?

– Intro time. How long before this theme changes? I can’t believe I am approaching the 130 episode mark.

– Scenery of Vegas. A bunch of lions. Casinos. Pyramids. Mermaids. Tall buildings. Trains. A mix of the contemporary and the Wild Wild West landscape.

– UFC 105 is advertised briefly. Or as I like to say, when Joe Rogan finally shuts up about Vera being the first guy to win in two weight classes. That’s what happens when you enter the octagon to the Black Eyed Peas.

– Opening dialogue is Rashad once again bragging about his 7-1 preliminary record. His dilemma is to train seven of his teammates who all must fight each other.

Doesn’t Mr. Sugar know this would be the scenario no matter what from the beginning? He must have been thinking about this when Rampage picked Kimbo first.

– He sits his team down in the gym. The deal is that he won’t train any of them too much. It’s merely to improve their skills. No new fancy moves.

– Justin describes the experience of training in the same room as the guy he will fight in a couple days. Roy jokes with Justin about helping him in any area that he is struggling with.

– Roy speaks! He wants to shoot the crap with Justin after it’s over. English expressions never really make sense.

– Matt complains about his eye, head, cat, dog, brain, lack of orange juice, no PVR, he lost his Jason Thacker’s DVD, and that Barack Obama took sixty percent of Jeff Kent’s Survivor prize money. He repeats how he is sensitive to light.

– Justin repeats that Matt took hard shots from Scott. In the van, Matt pretends to fall out of the seat. He coughs to himself. Sways back and forth. Everyone else discusses cayenne pepper and cheesy broccoli. Did you know Bush Sr. refused to eat broccoli at the White House? Yeah. My goodness he is desperate for airtime. Darrill thinks he is dehydrated. Justin assumes he is milking it.

– Matt claims he never suffered from a headache before. He may be the first ex-professional football player to make that announcement. Brendan sees Matt vomiting in the House bathroom and is certain he has a concussion. Dry heaving.

– What does this trigger? You guessed it. Brendan assumes Kimbo will fight and goes to his bedroom to congratulate him. Dana confirms that if Meathead can’t fight that the coaches will come together to figure out who will be brought back.

In other words, it’s Kimbo. Spike producers will not allow otherwise. Kimbo is the only reason why this season has the biggest ratings since. . .the previous heavyweight season (the worst TUF season ever–TUF 2. Incidentally, Sugar Rashad won that season along with Joe Daddy).

– Rampage and Tiki talk about Kimbo, and how he is the greatest striker in the world. Both are excited over the idea of Mitrione not being able to fight.

KIMBO: I am a fight contractor. I am adding more tools to my belt. So when I need to build a foundation, I have every tool to build a solid fight foundation.

You’re really going too far with those analogies.

– Tiki yells at Kimbo to keep moving then walks away. Gotta love heavyweight stamina. I am sure Kimbo’s stamina will not be an issue by the next time he fights.

Yes, that was a joke.

KIMBO: Once I get these haymakers on you, you’re a done dolla. Buh’lee that.

Isn’t this the third time he has said that? How many done dollars can one have in their wallet?

– Mitrione stayed overnight at the hospital. McSweeney tells his team at the gym that Mitrione was whining about brain damage before he left. Rashad hopes he will be okay, but is excited for Kimbo to have another chance. Except there isn’t a smile or any enthusiasm when he said it. That confessional was definitely coached. Phil Nurse is genuinely happy that Mitrione was taken into the woods against Scott Junk.

– In the parking lot, Rampage rants about Rashad’s cockiness after each win. Because they are cocky, they put cocks in their cars. Er, chickens. The doors are magically preset to be unlocked and puts chickens in every car.

RAMPAGE: We fed those chickens a lot of food the night before so they’d crap a lot in their cars. And those chickens smell funky. I love chickens, but these chickens smelled funky.

– Rampage and Tiki sits in Tiki’s car. The camera and sound operator are in the backseat. Rashad’s assistant coach makes the discovery. The assistant coaches and Rashad are laughing as they see the prank. Everyone is hysterically laughing.

RASHAD: Not only are those chickens smelly and nasty. . .but they crapped all over my car!

– The chickens escape. All of the coaches chase the chickens. Apparently this is Chelsea in Survivor: One World or Tom Westman in Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains all over again.

– Rampage is pissed that Rashad’s team was happy with the prank.  He is disappointed it didn’t upset them. Rashad and another coach each took a chicken with them home.

RAMPAGE: They’re happy. The chickens crapped in their cars so they’ll get spackin’ new cars. . .we just can’t win here.

– Slow hip suspenseful music plays. Mitrione opens the door to see Sims at the kitchen table. He says nothing as he retreats to his bedroom.

MITRIONE: He rattled my brain.

– KIMBO: Do I think Matt’s gonna pull out? Matt’s already got sand in his —-. You know what I’m sayin? He already has sand in his —–. You know what I’m sayin? Even though he already pulled out by going to the hospital. You know what I’m sayin? He ain’t goin over night. You know what I’m sayin? By doing what he did he pulled out already.

Who is he? J-Rock from Trailer Park Boys? He has used an excessive amount of ‘you know what I’m sayin’s.

– Wes thinks it isn’t fair for Matt to still be in. It’s like fishing with dynamite, according to him.

– Rashad couldn’t bring himself to eat the chickens. So like the Poultry Moses that Rashad is, he let his cocks go. They’re free. The coaches watch the chickens eat grass. How lovely. Next to them, the Diaz brothers are smoking the grass.

– Dana enters the House during the night and greets the other fighters. Including Mitrione. Dana asks Mitrione if he will fight. Mitrione will fight if the doctor clears him UNLESS he feels light-headed during cardio. Junk makes a joke in front of Dana.

JUNK (with raging black, blue, and purple eye): I can fight. This doesn’t hurt.

Good luck finding a Nevada State Athletic Commission that will clear you, Junk. I hear there’s plenty of Nevada State Athletic Commissions to choose from.

– Dana tells Mitrione that he won’t get his brain rattled in one fight. He gets a verbal agreement from Mitrione that he will fight if the doctor clears him. Mitrione agrees.

– Mitrione intentionally screws up Junk’s name in a confessional. Ugh.

– Rashad training session. McSweeney adores both fighters and thinks Justin’s mix of jiu jitsu and wrestling will give him the win. We see a montage of both fighters training. Kimbo comments on Roy’s foundation and that Justin is like a fat kid who eats donuts out of a refrigerator but gets caught by his mom while jelly donuts drip from his cheek. His words not mine.

I personally think Roy would be the kid eating donuts and Justin with the solid foundation, but hey, Justin could’ve been a former fatty.

RASHAD: Did you waste four weeks here to not be the Ultimate Fighter?
ROY: I can’t. I have brain damage.

– Roy practices a Bret Hart-like sharpshooter on Kimbo. Kimbo doesn’t tap. For whatever reason they have a pro wrestling discussion.

– Weigh ins.

DANA: I know Roy. Roy loves Roy more than anybody.

Maybe Sims didn’t step into a pool of Jensens but rather a pool of Nelsons.

– Dana was impressed with Justin but not with Roy. Marcus finds Justin to be cute and likable, and refuses to pick a winner.

– Fight Day. Roy thinks that Justin looks up to him. They drive in the same van to the gym. They really needed some of Rampage’s guys to swap with Justin.

ROY: I need to get two more wins or my wife is going to be pissed off.

– We see a mini clip of Justin waxing a part of his leg. Everyone else in the room giggles. Now let’s get to the freakin’ fight.



– Dana introduces the quarterfinal fight. Two rounds blah blah blah sudden victory. This is so going to be a decision.

– Roy and Justin touch gloves. They circle. Justin fires a combination.  Justin and Roy both feint. They miss with their punching combinations. Roy barely lands one.

– Justin lands a couple punches on Roy’s chin. They circle each other. Both land punches on each other’s chins. They clinch. Roy has Justin clinched against the cage. Where are the Marco Ruas footstomps?  Roy fires a few inside knees. And another. Rosenthal separates them.

– Roy and Justin feint once brought back to the centre. Justin lands a couple of wicked punches on Roy’s chin. Roy quickly  clinches to land a knee. Back to centre. Roy blocks a punch with his first. He punched away a punch. Justin lands a couple more jabs. Justin misses a huge overhand. Justin charges in some more while Roy retreats. Back to centre. Roy lands a couple punches.

– Justin misses a combo. Roy lands a straight right. Roy lands one more. Roy lands a leg kick. Oh the diversity of strikes.

– They clinch. Roy fires an uppercut in the clinch. Justin lands a couple jabs when the clinch breaks. Roy tries a combination that is defended. Roy throws a huge overhand. So does Wren. Nobody is landing. Justin’s body is red as he huffs and puffs. Justin continues to chase. End of round.

– Darrill is assigned to Roy’s corner while McSweeney is assigned to Justin’s corner. No coaches involved.

– Rampage is too busy focusing on Arianny. I almost typed Lariani again. No idea why I do that.

– Start of round two. They touch gloves. Justin tries to charge but instead just runs into Roy’s fist. He backs away. Justin charges again. Justin lands his first leg kick of the match! Repertoire is expanding. Roy lands a couple jabs. Both fire some punches. Roy tries to throw hooks but Justin defends. Justin aims for the belly. The fat defends well. Roy lands a body shot.

– Justin attempts a takedown but switches to a clinch. Roy pushes him away and almost sends Justin to the ground. Justin tripped but scurries away. Both are out of breath. Justin keeps going for clinches but Roy is ensuring Justin cannot do anything. Roy fires two quick uppercuts before clinch is broken. Back to centre. Roy fires a leg kick.

– Justin chases Roy after Roy swings for the fences and catches nothing but air. Roy retaliates with a legkick. Roy lands a clean jab. Roy tries to throw some punches but Justin counters with powerful strikes of his own. Roy lands three consecutive left jabs. Some more. Justin is absorbing these hits.

– Roy lands a powerful bodyshot and headshot. Justin tries to swing for the fences. Justin’s hands are completely down. He legkicks. Neither knows how to check a legkick. Justin drops his hands again. Justin lands a jab. So does Roy. Justin throws some haymakers but Roy ducks. They clinch temporarily. Roy lands an uppercut. Roy closes in on Justin. End of round.

– Everyone anticipates a third round. Rampage chants for one more round. What the heck? Keith Jardine is here. Rashad is in disbelief that there is a decision.

– Fight replay. Really? Dana believes that Justin destroyed Roy in the first round. He thinks Roy’s life-saving clinch prevented him being knocked out. Rashad noticed Justin’s fatigue in the second round and punches that hit nothing but air. Roy picked it up. I personally think it should have been a sudden victory round.

– 20-18, 19-19, 20-18, winner by majority decision is Roy Nelson.

DANA: Roy squeaks out another win in a fight that should’ve gone to the third round. I don’t know if Justin could’ve gone to a third round, anyway.

– Roy brags he landed more shots than Justin, and controlled the fight with jabs and hooks. Roy believes he won by a KO or TKO in the third round. Him and Justin hug. Justin is disappointed but feels he is on the right track.

ROY: I tried to make it a little entertaining for you.
DANA: Congratulations. Good job.

DANA (confessional): Yeah, you got the s— beat out of you by Justin in the first round and that made it exciting. Trust me, the day we see Roy Nelson in an exciting fight that he made exciting, I will give him my props. *eyerolls and licks lips*

Next Time on TUF: Mitrione is not sure if he can fight, and all camera operator’s eyes are on Kimbo Slice. Rampage and Rashad go head-to-head in the Coach’s Challenge. Then in the second quarterfinal fight, forgotten participant Jon Madsen takes on former NFL player Brendan Schaub. Who will become the next Ultimate Fighter?

Confessional Count





Rank the Fights

1) Marcus Jones vs. Michael Wessel (The precursor to Rousey Mania. It is the quickest and slickest armbar I have ever seen. Wessel learned what happens when you make Big Baby angry. Sadly, this is the best fight thus far.)

2) Demico Rogers vs. Brendan Schaub (Unusual positions were used in this fight. It was quick but there was non-stop action on the ground. The unique anaconda choke on the ground is the biggest highlight thus far as Rashad is up 4-nil.)

3) Wes Sims vs. Justin Wren (Sims submitted into unconsciousness by an arm triangle? Well, I can’t say he didn’t live up to my expectations. The strikes they traded on their feet was impressive.)

4) Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson (Big names who end up finishing the fight before it goes to the lousy judges? Sadly it’s the best one after three episodes.)

5) Wes Shivers vs. James McSweeney (It was a very average affair.)

6) Matt Mitrione vs. Scott Junk (The most pathetic stand-up affair. Even worse than Jay London’s stand-up. Those wind-ups into their punches were slow-motion and seemed to have zero power behind them. The only good thing about the fight is that it triggered Rampage’s reaction to smash a water bottle and collapse a perfectly fine door. 7-0. Pass the Sugar Rashad!

7) Zak Jensen vs. Darrill Schoonover (It was a very sloppy affair. Early triangle choke by Darrill. Fatigue and lack of jiu jitsu knowledge dictated the outcome of this fight.)

8) Roy Nelson vs. Justin Wren (This felt more like a training session than an actual fight. Justin tried to finish the fight while Roy was aiming for a decision victory. It is the least versatile fight I have seen. Jabs and hooks are the only two skills these guys know. I think there were ten leg kicks and a couple clinches the whole fight.)

9) Abe Wagner vs. Jon Madsen (It will be a shame if this isn’t the worst fight of the season. A cut so deep that we saw the bone in Abe’s forehead, though. I can’t recall seeing a fight with three stand-ups in one round.)

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