TUF 10 episodes 4 to 6 ranking

Fourth episode

– Previously on TUF: In the most anticipated showdown in TUF history, Roy Big Country Nelson took out Kimbo Slice. But is this really the end for Kimbo? Former first round NFL draft pick Marcus Jones reveals his sensitive side. Up next the fourth preliminary fight. Who will move one step closer to becoming the ultimate fighter?

– Intro time. A lot of shirtless men and sweaty pecs. The same freakin’ theme. Although TAR kept the same theme for thirteen seasons and I prefer that one much more than their current theme. Survivor remixes their theme each season for better or for worse.

– I wonder why they wanted a golden logo this season?

– For the first time in a while, it’s a complete fight recap from the previous episode. Scott Junk speaks again? He must fight this episode. I am banking on it. Matt, Darrill, and Scott speaks again! And again! Holy crap, we’re recapping it round by round. This is overdoing it. Scott has four confessionals? I guess nobody on Rampage’s team were too enthusiastic about the fight. Matt notes that Roy rubbed his belly at the end.

– Roy walks up to Rampage.

ROY: I lost count after ten.
(ROY hugs RAMPAGE. RAMPAGE pushes him away. ROY smiles.)
RAMPAGE: What the f—. . .Don’t be cocky. Can’t stand that fat mothaf—a.

– Rampage says he really had to hold himself back. We’re in the locker room. Rampage promises Kimbo that he will still work with Kimbo, and him along with the other coaches tell Kimbo that he did an excellent job. They say he got maneuvered by a wrestler who barely squeaked out a win.

That may be a slight exaggeration. I think Roy conserved his energy for future rounds, but it’s true that it wasn’t exactly the type of domination we were expecting.

– Kimbo promises that he will fill in for a guy if he gets injured. The next day we see Kimbo telling Abe that he is up to fight as soon as possible. Abe is pissed that he is here to win three fights but couldn’t win one. Kimbo looks to be much more optimistic as he shows off his rocky biceps to the camera.

– Marcus bends over preparing to vomit in the kitchen. There is an ad for TUF in the corner where all we see is Kimbo. Marcus is super sweaty. Marcus sits down with a blanket against his back. He is light-headed as he is drinking water. Shaking and sweating.

– Brendan enters the room regardless of being from the opposing team. Everyone is a fan of Big Baby. Brendan claims that he has been fighting to pay bills while he views it as a hobby for Marcus. Marcus is only adjusting to it and it is a shock to his system. Kimbo jokes that Marcus won’t be able to fight. Marcus perks up and laughs at Kimbo’s ploy. He sneaks in a granola bar to end the scene. Kimbo wants back in really badly.

– Rashad training session. Coach wants to make sure he has enough one-on-one time with each fighter. Rashad defines Matt as being super athletic, and imagines him to be a force in the competition. He likes Justin because he speaks softly and is unassuming. Other invisible player Mike Wessel is defined as an athletic force too. Rashad thinks Brendan is peaking. A sweep of the preliminary round is on the horizon.

– In the locker room, Rashad’s coaches tell “humble and unassuming” Justin that they want to fight Rampage’s top guy–Scott Junk. That’s right. Scott Junk has never been discussed in the first three episodes, but suddenly he is spiking in airtime with first and third person perspective.

– In addition, coaches discuss throwing up Brendan against Demico because he is Rampage’s second best guy. Brendan will “beat the piss” out of Demico. Rashad informs Matt that he will be fighting Marcus. Matt is unsure if he can handle Marcus, but is willing to go with it.

– Justin re-enters the room. He tells Rashad that he is bedmates with Junk and isn’t too keen on fighting a guy who he didn’t want to face until the finals. Oh god. Not another Pierce. Rashad understands. Justin says he is willing to fight anyone else. Okay. I won’t brand him as a Pierce. Not even close. I should note that Rashad told everyone to not speak about it.

– Rampage is three down just like he was in season seven against TUF 1 winner Forrest. Roy lightly slaps him as Rashad “and his spies” exit the room. I’m waiting for Rampage to pull out a silly string net trap. He discusses Scott Junk and how Junk doesn’t know his own strength. Rampage is worried that Marcus will rip somebody’s arm off from arm bars. We see several people grimacing as they hold their arms. Rampage is impressed with Demico because he is well-rounded. In fact, Rampage sees him as a mini-Rashad. Everyone nicknames him Rashad.

– Rampage attacks Demico with a foam log as Demico takes him to the mat. Why’d you keep your hands up Rampage?

– House time. Justin and Junk talk about the conversation Justin had with Rashad. . .but yet Justin wasn’t the one who brought it up. Somebody leaked the info. The info came from Matt. Junk calls Matt a meathead. He just doesn’t think before he says things. Talented fighter, but doesn’t think.

– Kitchen time. Justin whispers to other players about how Matt leaked. Everyone is pissed by ruining the strategy. I suppose the strategy is that the opponents cannot prepare specifically for a fighter if they aren’t certain they will be picked. Matt doesn’t thin kit’s a big deal because they can change all of the fights. McSweeney figures out that Matt did it to avoid fighting Marcus. I personally agree.

– Van time.

BRENDAN: Not to beat a dead horse, but what were you thinking?

Everyone brands him as a snitch. Matt claims he is indeed an a–hole. Matt proceeds to apologize to Rashad.

RASHAD: Matt Mitrione is acting like a meathead.

Production is encouraging the meathead nickname, and Rashad is confident that Matt tried to avoid fighting Meathead. Brendan steps up and says he would like to fight Junk because it would be a battle. It doesn’t seem like Justin will fight Junk anyway.

– Rampage’s coaches meet in the BUSHES. Rampage knows nobody will be able to defeat Junk. But Brendan could defeat Demico. They want Demico to ground and pound. Tiki presumes Marcus will freak out and kill whoever is in the octagon with him.

– Fight Announcement time. It’s Brendan against Demico. Oh. Junk’s airtime is preserved. Rashad knows both are athletic, and that skill will be triumphant. Dana knows Brendan is nowhere near as big as Demico. Rashad of course assumes Demico will have the better skill.

– Rampage knows they will have control back. What happened to what he said ten minutes ago?

RAMPAGE: I want to get back control and beat Rashad so I can avoid going to prison. . .I have really bad thoughts. I’m ashamed of the thoughts I am having.

He is ashamed? Why? Is he thinking of spanking Sugar Rashad Evans?

– Apparently not. His thoughts are to punch Rashad in the face until he collapses on the ground, spit him on the face, then kick him in the testicles.

I don’t think there’s any shame in that.

– Both coaches are chatting in the parking lot. Rampage drives away in a car while nodding and talking on his cell phone. That would be a hefty fine in 2013. Speeding + distracted driving.

– Rashad training session. Assistant coach tells Brendan to believe in his jab. We see Brendan sparring with a variety of people. Rashad tells us that Brendan trains with him and Greg Jackson outside of the competition. He listens, is technical, and takes direction well. Sounds like a Jackson fighter to me. Er, Greg Jackson. Not Quinton Jackson.

– Rampage training session. Tiki tells Demico that Brendan will use his stand-up, kickboxing, and boxing against him. The game for Demico is to use his wrestling to take Brendan down. Submissions are being practiced too.

– Demico and Tiki pound it.

TIKI: Rock it, pound it. . .you didn’t explode. /sadface
DEMICO: I’ll explode tomorrow.
TIKI: Explode on his face.

So that’s why casual fans think the ground game in MMA has homoerotic tendencies.

– Fight Day. Tough music. Rampage’s coaches went somewhere to eat. Demico and Brendan sit in their respective locker rooms. Rashad’s coaches train Brendan. Brendan yells randomly.

– Demico and the other players are sitting down. They casually sip drinks. Brendan is still shadow boxing. Kimbo is pissed that the coaches haven’t shown up. They can hear Rashad’s coaches through the wall. Brendan shouts. Rampage’s coaches arrive. They agree that Brendan is overdoing it before a fight.

DEMICO ROGERS
27
6’4″
82.5″
4-0
RENTON, WASHINGTON

BRENDAN SCHAUB
26
6’4″
79.5″
4-0
DENVER, COLORADO

– Brendan imitates the Tito Ortiz jumps in the octagon. Rashad whispers to have bad intentions.

– Dana introduces the fourth preliminary fight. Josh Rosenthal is our referee. Rare. Both feint. Demico leg kicks. Demico shoots in for the worst takedown ever but somehow succeeds. Brendan flips him over and gets back to the feet. They clinch for two seconds then break. Both throw wildly. Demico jabs. They exchange.

– Demico succeeds in another takedown but Brendan has another headlock. Lets the headlock go. Full guard. Breandan keeps circling. Demico fails to throw any punches. Finally throws one after a failed passing of the guard. He has Brendan against the cage. He stands up over Brendan but does nothing. Demico charges in but doesn’t connect. Back into full guard. Brendan circles away from the cage. Demico nearly shoves his fingers into Brendan’s face.

– Demico passes into side control. Launches some elbows. A big punch to the noggin. Full mount but it is bucked off. Suddenly Brendan is in Demico’s full guard. He throws some punches before standing over Demico. He presses down Demico’s leg and passes into side control. He throws down some elbows. Demico rotates but Brendan puts him into a headlock. He flips Demico over again.

– Demico is flat on his stomach. Brendan uses the headlock as Demico goes to his knees. Brendan rotates Demico into forming a letter ‘L’ with their bodies. He still has the headlock. It’s a choke as Demico rests his back on the mat. He taps instantly. Wow. Demico had very little talent.

– Rampage is wondering what the heck Demico is doing. He refuses to enter the octagon. In an interesting twist, Rashad and his coaches enter the octagon and cheer on Demico to get up. Rashad of course uses this to take a shot at Rampage in his confessionals. Rashad encourages Demico despite Demico being disappointed. Rampage is in disbelief that Demico tapped out to such a position.

– Rashad continues to encourage Demico and that he can be built back up. I would say Rashad is legitimately pissed that Demico was left alone in the octagon. Rampage shakes Brendan’s hand and claims he is only bad at his boy.

– Once Demico exits the octagon, Rampage tells Demico that nobody should be caught in an Anaconda choke. He is more pissed that Demico had the round won if he didn’t try passing the guard.

You do know that an inactive fighter on top would be stood up by Josh, yes?

– Rampage rounds up his coaches for a meeting. Awkward silence as Demico apologizes. Dana knows Rampage is being bothered by going down 0-4. He is guaranteed to only be even at best.

– Rampage tells his coaches that they should’ve kept him grounding and pounding.

RAMPAGE: It’s too much for me, man.

What about the 100k you are being paid to coach this show for six weeks? 200k?

– Brendan whines that he was too slow against Demico as he slumps into the chair. Rashad encourages him saying he did fine. Brendan is happy that he is not injured whatsoever which was his greatest fear in his confessionals.

– Rashad is halfway to a sweep. They are more confident than ever.

– Next time on TUF: Matt Mitrione injures his shoulder increasing the rift between him and his teams. There is a black sheep in the house and the hazing is relentless. And Rashad calls out Rampage for not supporting his guys. Then will Team Rashad keep their streak alive in the fifth preliminary fight? Who will move one step closer to becoming the next Ultimate Fighter?

Confessional Count

RAMPAGE TEAM

ABE WAGNER 0x
DEMICO ROGERS 4
KIMBO SLICE 3x
MARCUS JONES 2
SCOTT JUNK 5
WES SHIVERS 0x
WES SIMS 0
ZAK JENSEN 0

RASHAD TEAM

BRENDAN SCHAUB 7
DARRILL SCHOONOVER 2
JAMES MCSWEENEY 1
JON MADSEN 1
JUSTIN WREN 3
MATT MITRIONE 6
MICHAEL WESSEL 0
ROY NELSON 1

New Storylines:

Matt Mitrione is receiving a very negative edit. He is the new Sam Hoger. A season-long villain but must be cut before the season finale to ensure the fans will take it seriously. He is the Hoger, the Browning, the oddball.

Junk is a silent mammoth. Again, Junk never talks about himself. It is from the perspective of others. A Luke Cummo edit? Not so sure.

Justin is considered weak because he refuses to put friendship over competition.

Several fighters bring up the aspect of ‘who wants it more’ and ‘who does this professionally versus as a hobby’. In other words, anyone who is intending to do this for fun or not taking it seriously as a profession will be frowned upon.

A window for opportunity will be presented for Kimbo. Mitrione’s injury likely opens it up.

Rampage is being depicted as a goofy coach who does not show up on time for Fight Day and does not encourage his own fighters. Rashad is shown reaching over the aisle to help opposing fighters. Rashad has yet to be portrayed negatively. In fact, he has the most positive edit of any coach to date. Nobody has critiqued a single decision he has made outside of irrational Rampage.

With the current record of 6-2 held by Team Liddell in season 1 as well as a couple coaches in later seasons, this season has been emphasizing each episode that Rashad’s streak will not be threatened.

Rank the Fights

1) Demico Rogers vs. Brendan Schaub (Unusual positions were used in this fight. It was quick but there was non-stop action on the ground. The unique anaconda choke on the ground is the biggest highlight thus far as Rashad is up 4-nil.)

2) Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson (Big names who end up finishing the fight before it goes to the lousy judges? Sadly it’s the best one after three episodes.)

3) Wes Shivers vs. James McSweeney (It was a very average affair.)

4) Abe Wagner vs. Jon Madsen (It will be a shame if this isn’t the worst fight of the season. A cut so deep that we saw the bone in Abe’s forehead, though. I can’t recall seeing a fight with three stand-ups in one round.)

Fifth Episode:

Previously on TUF: Zak was left last for the team pick. Oh right. There’s a Zak Jensen on this show. He has been visible enough to stay out of my radar, but not invisible enough to be marked as an invisible player by me. Matt Mitrione spilled the match-ups forcing Rashad to change team tactics. In the cage, Brendan Schaub submitted Demico Rogers by anaconda choke pushing Team Rashad to a 4-0 lead. Will Team Rampage get shutout? Or will one man prevail to become the Ultimate Fighter?

– Intro time.

– Rashad training session. Upbeat music. Rashad came from a season where a division for each coach swept 4-0, thus making it a 4-4 split. We see Matt clutching his shoulder. Clearly in pain. He has the football mentality where he has to suck it up until he gets a cortisol shot to reduce the inflammation.

– Rashad thinks it is a stupid idea because it will only last him a short amount of time, and he hasn’t had his first fight yet. There’s still four weeks left. And Rashad adds that the damage he will do to it in the process will put him out of the competition. Matt says that they do it all the time in the NFL.

MATT: It’s sore.
RASHAD: Is it sore or is it injured?
MATT: It’s just really, really, really sore.
RASHAD: Then if it’s really really really sore then–
(MATT proceeds to punch RASHAD’s shoulder to imitate the pain.)
RASHAD: Do you need a massage or do you need to ice it?

– Rashad tells the camera that Matt is stupid, and that he is too dangerous for his own good.

– Van time for Rampage. Marcus really wants to fight. Kimbo tells him to have the Rampage-like laugh behind it. Marcus proceeds to do a good impression of the laugh.

– Marcus enters the kitchen. Rashad invites him to the team. Marcus leaves the room immediately. I guess that’s a ‘no’. Marcus returns to tell Rashad that he is ready to fight.  Coaches agree as a joke. Marcus points and says they are now a man of their word. He runs away from the room. Rashad tries to call him back. Marcus assumes he will be fighting now.

– Rampage training session. Rampage moans about losing four fights. It is messing with his personal and sex life.

RAMPAGE: I barely have a sex life as it is!

It’s true. Have you seen this?

– Rampage coaches others what to do when they are against the cage. Violently push someone’s head to the side. We see Zak on his back defending against Kimbo. Zak can’t trump Kimbo in the ground game. Yet Zak is a wrestler. Rampage makes fun of this instantly.

I would too.

– Zak admits he needs to work on his ground game and doesn’t know what to do off his back. Junk likes him but was annoyed initially when Zak bragged about how good he was but has “turned into a turd at practice”. Rampage has a pep talk with Zak to make him wall walk.

I’m guessing Rampage is frustrated at 0-4 because it really means 0-5.

– Sims was looking forward to a good shower, but this morning he rolled his ankle. He is on the balcony with others yelling at Zak sitting on a chair at the pool down below.

WES: Next time I get into the shower and I ever step on a family of Jensens, when I get in the shower, I don’t care what team we’re on, we’re going to scrap.
ZAK: What are you talking about?
WES: Don’t tell me you didn’t turk Mr. Happy when you’re in the shower.
ZAK: I didn’t.
WES: You were in the shower before me!

Whoa. Are we really discussing the M-word on cable TV? At least it’s not in our fruit.

WES: It’s nasty to reflect on it. I stepped on a pile of fermented mayonnaise.

Please let this scene end.

WES: I’ll be on you like a bad hyena if you do that again.

ZAK: I only blew my nose.

Ah yes. White mucus. Moving on. . .

– McSweeney thinks it is no big deal and they’re all adults and would laugh about it. James uses the “schtick he gets about his accent and London” as an example, and would follow it up with a comeback. But Zak mopes around his room and doesn’t take these things very well.

WES: What does he put in his journal? “Day seven got caught j—in’ off. Ain’t this a b—. I am so embarrassed”.

– Brendan doesn’t think he should be here.

– Rashad training session. Matt’s shoulder feels better today. He gets wrapped with his left arm stuck to him He shadowboxes with one arm. Rashad thinks Matt is a drama king and an attention seeker. Matt pleads to fight on Monday to Rashad as he runs on the treadmill. He keeps going on about how he wants to prove themselves, and doesn’t want to be viewed as a b—-. Rashad says he needs to prove himself in training before proving himself in the cage.

– Rashad discusses with his coaches. The assistant coaches think Matt wants to be here but not here to fight. Their goal is to ensure he is here to fight.

– Rampage training session. Shivers tells Rampage about how Zak was caught yesterday. Rampage wonders why Zak wouldn’t clean it up, and understands how embarrassed he would feel.

– Sims and Zak are in the middle of grappling and. . .Zak is passed out. We catch this in real time. They flip Zak onto his back. I thought wrestlers hate being on their back? Zak is still passed out. His right arm is still up. Zak awakens. He tapped out too late or didn’t tap out at all.

– We see Zak wearing an oxygen mask.

– Wes Sims says the smartest win in reality shows versus the strongest. We see him clutching plates and throwing random stuff. Kimbo thinks Wes livens up the mood and adds fuel to the fire. He stirs the pot. That’s it for that scene.

– Someone is in the pool alone playing basketball. It’s Matt. McSweeney makes fun of Matt always complaining about his shoulder. Suddenly Matt is playing basketball and tossing a football? Everyone assumes he wants to fight last and is using the shoulder as an excuse. Mainly Mike Wessel.  Matt brags that his shoulder is fine. He shows off each position. Roy and Brendan are at the kitchen table joking about Matt. Everyone respects him about as much as Zak Jensen. Perhaps pit Zak and Matt against each other?

– Roy and Matt sparr in practice? Matt rotates to take Roy’s back and suddenly complains. One of the coaches shows off his messed up shoulder. He was out for six months. Now THAT is an injury.

– Matt wants to put ice on it. Rashad stops to pause and insists he is fine. Matt refuses to believe his own shoulder is fine and walks away.

RASHAD: Ice AFTER practice! Not right now. F—.

MATT: My shoulder is getting tired sore.

– We see the worst punches against a punching bag. Rashad is not impressed. Matt confronts Rashad that he was being a baby. Rashad wants to know if his shoulder is sore or injured.

– Matt claims he will work through his shoulder injury. He will cut it off and stick somebody else’s on there like a he-man figurine.

MATT: Like rah-man. His arm on there. Or Cringer. Cringer had really strong arms. He was battlecat when he was strong though.

– Matt is ridiculously taped up and iced on his shoulder. He is clearly playing for airtime. And sadly, it’s working.

– Rampage van time. The M-word and Zak is brought up again. Zak wants to be picked to fight to settle the score.

– Fight Announcement time. Marcus assumes he will be fighting. Justin Wren will fight Wes Sims. Sims is much taller. Rashad knows Sims has a lot of experience but doesn’t have enough talent. That is the epitome of Wes Sims. Wes plays around with the coaches and Wren.

– Marcus is frowning and looks like he will murder someone. Rashad tries to touch Marcus but Marcus walks away without acknowledging anyone. They all use the nickname Big Baby then proceed to call him Marcus.

MARCUS: You gave me your word, man.
RASHAD: No, I didn’t. You’ll get your chance, Big Baby.

Why does it matter if you fight this round, next round, the following round, or the last one? It’s not like you’re being cut from the cast. My god. Why is this always such a big deal?

MARCUS: I’m not sensitive. I’m pissed off.

Oooooooo. Way to masculinize your emotions. Swift move if you knew what ‘sensitive’ means in the first place.

– Rashad training session. Introduced to Justin. He works out of Lutter’s camp. Discusses Sims. We see him punching a punching bag. Sims is supposedly a ground guy but Justin thinks his ground game is better.

Personally I think Sims is weak in all areas.

– Kimbo thinks it’s a good fight because Sims will only lose if he taps.

KIMBO: Justin is a. . .Greco-Roman wrestler. . .whatever the f— that is.

It’s not an Olympic event. That’s what it is. It’s a thing of the past. Ancient.

KIMBO: I’M GOING TO FIGHT AGAIN! I’M GOING TO FIGHT AGAIN!

Be funny if he didn’t.

KIMBO: I’m curious what are the options to get into another fight before we are done here other than fighting in the House. Let’s say you walk upstairs and twist your–
WES: You’re not going to shove me down a flight of stairs if I say ‘yeah,’ right?

– Rampage training session. Wes has a very Napoleon Dynamite attitude. He brags he trains with world class wrestlers in the Hammer House. That’s when you know a guy is a veteran. Have they accepted a new member in the past ten years? Wes thinks Justin may be a world class wrestler but his Hammer House group has prepared him. Wes shows off his stomach to the camera and flexes his muscles.

He is a wild man.

– Wes intends to please the fans. He wishes to win viciously or lose davastatingly. Yeah, Sims is so cool he makes up his own words.

– Wes and Kimbo tell Zak to improve his eating habits. Wes is trying to toughen him up. Kimbo is trying to teach him to shank somebody.

WES: I don’t know what those skills will do for you in the cage, but. . .whatever.

– Official weigh-ins. Justin is wearing pink polka-dot briefs. Rampage immediately makes a confessional about it. He comments on how small they were. Wes jumps onto the scale in a speedo. Everyone is smiling and giggline except Rampage.

RAMPAGE: I have never seen a bunch of men be so happy and excited for two men in their panties.

– Dana thinks Sims will win because Sims is a true heavyweight while Justin should be one weight class below.

– Fight Day. Both say generic stuff. We see someone sweeping the octagon. That was unexpected. Justin talks about the anticipation. Wes proceeds to claim that he looks good.

WES SIMS
39
6’10”
81″
22-12-1
LANCASTER, OHIO

JUSTIN WREN
22
6’3″
75″
8-1
FORT WORTH, TEXAS

Age, height, weight, reach, and experience advantage is all in Sims’ court for once. Justin is not looking good here. He hasn’t had the luxury of two of his losses coming to Mir. Although nine fights is impressive prior to TUF.

– Dana introduces the fight. Herby is our referee.

– Justin tries to touch gloves but Sims takes the opportunity to jab. Rampage has enforced his No Touching rule. They clinch and Sims is against the cage. Plenty of Marco Ruas foot stomps from both fighters. Sims’ feet must be huge. Sims connects with a knee. They break the clinch while throwing wild punches.

– Sims throws a front kick that connects. But Justin clinches and takes Sims down against the cage. He passes into side control. Sims spins away from the cage. Justin is in full mount and flips to side control with a darth choke. Sims is awfully red. His left hand is preparing to tap as Sims’ face is a deeper red. Herby lifts his left hand once and almost motioned assuming Sims was out.  He does it again while Team Rashad claims he is out. Herby lifts the hand up once more, but unlike in pro wrestling, it falls limp to the mat. Fight is over.

Justin wins a match-up where he was viewed as an underdog.

– Fight recap.

RAMPAGE: Fight started off good for a couple seconds.

Isn’t that the story of each Rampage fighter all season?

– Rampage comments on Herby doing the pro wrestling thing and was waiting for the Hulk Hogan thing on the third lift, but it didn’t come. Dana jokes wondering what has happened to Sims since the last time he fought in the UFC. He is impressed with Wren as Sims is told to stay down.

SIMS: If I could remember it, I’d tell you.

RAMPAGE: Am I cursed? I never thought in a million years that Justin would submit my buddy Wes Sims in an arm triangle in a million years.

– Rashad goes into the cage to check in on Sims. He wonders why Rampage continues to refuse to check in on their fighters. Rashad is adopting fighters like he is the Angelina Jolie of MMA.

SHIVERS: One thing you’ve gotta know is that Rampage isn’t a coach–he’s a fighter.

Uhhhhhhhhh.

– Justin feels great to have the win and extending the streak to five. He wants to be the youngest champion to date. Him and Roy Nelson bump bellies.

– Rampage retreats to his locker room cursing under his breath. Him and his coaches joke that they can’t fight for them. He thought Sims had it.

– Dana tries to weigh in on this. He says under no circumstance should a coach walk away from the octagon without checking in with their fighter. Dana doesn’t know if the coaches and fighters aren’t connecting. It is reminiscent of Ken Shamrock’s coaching stint.

– Rampage and Rashad talk. They shake hands. Rampage congratulates Rashad on the good work he is done.

RASHAD: You’re not coaching–
RAMPAGE: I’m not coaching anyone. I’m not a coach. I’m not coaching nobody. I don’t get involved–
RASHAD: Tiki, just cause Rampage isn’t going in the cage, you don’t have to not go in the cage either.
RAMPAGE: You keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll do what I’m doing.
RASHAD: Yeah it’s working for you.
RAMPAGE: You do what you’re doing, I’ll do me.

Zak did himself too.

RAMPAGE: You have no idea, man.
RASHAD: What do I not know about it?
RAMPAGE: You’re gonna learn really soon.
RASHAD: I can fight with your style and still beat you.
RAMPAGE: We know how to beat the (—–), idiot.
RASHAD: You don’t know how to beat the (—–), IDIOT.
(RAMPAGE retreats to some choice words by RASHAD.)

I didn’t understand half of that exchange to be honest.

Next time on TUF: Non-stop jabs from Rampage push Darrill to the breaking point. Zak becomes a target at the House. And an injury to a fighter could put Kimbo back in play. Who will break and who will press on to become The Ultimate Fighter?

RAMPAGE TEAM

ABE WAGNER 0x
DEMICO ROGERS 0x
KIMBO SLICE 3x
MARCUS JONES 3
SCOTT JUNK 1
WES SHIVERS 1x
WES SIMS 9
ZAK JENSEN 3

RASHAD TEAM

BRENDAN SCHAUB 2
DARRILL SCHOONOVER 0
JAMES MCSWEENEY 2
JON MADSEN 1
JUSTIN WREN 5
MATT MITRIONE 3
MICHAEL WESSEL 1
ROY NELSON 0

Rank the Fights

1) Demico Rogers vs. Brendan Schaub (Unusual positions were used in this fight. It was quick but there was non-stop action on the ground. The unique anaconda choke on the ground is the biggest highlight thus far as Rashad is up 4-nil.)

2) Wes Sims vs. Justin Wren (Sims submitted into unconsciousness by an arm triangle? Well, I can’t say he didn’t live up to my expectations. The strikes they traded on their feet was impressive.)

3) Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson (Big names who end up finishing the fight before it goes to the lousy judges? Sadly it’s the best one after three episodes.)

4) Wes Shivers vs. James McSweeney (It was a very average affair.)

5) Abe Wagner vs. Jon Madsen (It will be a shame if this isn’t the worst fight of the season. A cut so deep that we saw the bone in Abe’s forehead, though. I can’t recall seeing a fight with three stand-ups in one round.)

Sixth episode

Previously on TUF: Rampage has harassed Darril Schoonover since day one. Zak Jensen struggled to hold his own at practice and struggled to hold his own at practice. Then in the fifth preliminary fight, Justin Wren choked Wes Sims out cold with an arm triangle. Up next two more heavyweights collide in the cage. Who will move one step closer to becoming The Ultimate Fighter?

– House time. Bacon. Orange juice. Darril wakes up with a hangover. We see him holding three beers at once. That is a lot of liquor being poured. Zak says he wants to fight the guy who is drinking and acting like an idiot. Probably the only guy he is capable of beating.

– That is a tall glass of liquor at eight in the morning. Darril doesn’t want to practice but Matt ensures he will. Wow. Hundreds of dollars in free booze may be more profitable than the time and energy put into training.

– Rashad training session. He brings in a guy who coached GSP/anyone else at the Greg Jackson camp. I guess they couldn’t afford to bring in GSP this season. We see the fighters practice jumping pattycake. I’m serious. They jump up and high five. Rashad feels happy about the 5-fight win streak.

– Rashad notes that Darril is hitting a wall while boxing with Brendan. He isn’t committing to punches and jumping all over the place. I imagine this is manufactured. The other fighters tell Rashad about him drinking in the morning. Rashad sits down with Darril in the locker room. He gives him the conditioning talk.

“You can’t be here just to be on TV!”

That’s Kimbo’s and Mitrione’s job.

– Darril promises to keep his drinking to a minimum until the end of the show. Rashad finds him to be a diamond in the rough because they don’t respect him.

(DARRIL looks through his own bag during the preparation for Rampage’s practice.)
RAMPAGE: What are you doing here, t–ties?
DARRILL: I’m looking for my s—.
RAMPAGE: Why are you hiding around, t–ties? Why are you spying on us, t–ties?
DARRILL: You’re not gonna win.
(DARRILL walks away.)
RAMPAGE: You ain’t gonna win nothin’, t–ties. He might win a wet T-shirt competition.
DARRILL: I’ll come down to 205 and kick your a– too.

– Rampage wants T–ties to drop down to 205. Darrill defends that Jackson has the big mouth. Darrill tells him he has a big jaw and looks forward to knocking him out. He wants a sparring session. It used to be fun according to Darrill but now it’s outright trash talking.

DARRILL: I’m trying hard to restrain myself. I would’ve normally headbutted him, but a street fight is different from a cage fight.

– Fight Announcement time. Rashad is here to pick once again.

RASHAD: We pick Schoonover.
RAMPAGE: T–ties!
DARRILL: F— you.
RASHAD: To fight Zak.

I love how Rashad didn’t acknowledge what transpired.

– Everyone hesitates before clapping as Zak and Darrill pose. Rampage tries to break the pose.

RAMPAGE: We’ve got milk t–s. You’ve got milk.

DARRILL: F— you, motherf—er.
RAMPAGE: F— you.
DARRILL: F— you.
RAMPAGE: F— you more.

Well this is redundant.

(DARRILL walks closer.)

DARRILL: I’ll kick your a–, b—-, c’mon.
RAMPAGE: I’m supposed to be scared of you? I’m supposed to be scared of you t–ties? Walk up on me again and you’ll be in trouble, mothaf—a. Walk up on me again and you’ll be in trouble.

(RASHAD’s crew holds DARRILL back.)

– Rashad knows Darrill will go into Rampage’s face, so he goes into Rampage’s face to diffuse the situation.

RAMPAGE: He’s taking up for t–ties because T–ties got t–ties and he ain’t got no t–ties. Rashad wish he had some nipples so he got some t–ties to play with.

If I have to hear another comment that uses androgynous characteristics as an insult. . .

– Rampage wants Rashad out of the gym so his team can train. It doesn’t matter because Rampage will waste his time anyway. Rashad wants to know if Rampage would like it if he was called d—face every day. Rampage would think it’s funny. Rashad’s point is failed to be seen and takes his team out of the gym.

– Dana doesn’t think it would be wise for Darrill to pick another fight with Rampage. I agree. We can’t have more of these lame t–ty jokes.

– Kimbo is now calling Zak as Linderman from now on for no reason.

KIMBO: If Shrek had a little brother, it would be him. And it would be Linderman.

Why Linderman?!

– Wes asks Zak why he was sniffing his shorts at the pool. Either Sims makes up strange lies or Zak is a strange person.

Both are likely true.

WES: Linderman is like that puppy. You  can squirt him, you can kick him in the rear end, and he just keeps coming back for more.

– Zak refuses to drink for the entire duration of the show. Abe compares him to Piggy from Lord of the Flies. Well MMA fighters at least make it to the ninth grade. McSweeney thinks Zak has shed blood which has triggered everyone else to be blood hungry.

– Wes wants Matt to pick a day. Why? It’s a pool for which day Zak will flip out on the rest of the House. Sims proposes to the viewers to pick a day but hurry up because they are pushing up. There is a sign-up sheet. We see Zak laying on a bed as everyone else is in the room signing up on Sims’ sheet.

– Brendan doesn’t know what the prize will be from Sims. Matt expects Zak to shut down. Even though he likes him, he picked a day. Holy crap Zak looks miserable as he writes in his journal.

– Darrill has the creepiest tattoos on his right arm. It’s a clown taking out a girl’s head. Primarily her eye. It was done during a drunken experience. Rashad labels him as a weird person. Serial killer weird. Too bad he doesn’t have Dexter looks.

– The assistant coach tells Darrill to not feel bad about how others treat Zak. Training session for Darrill. Strategy is to put Zak up against the fence and use his hands and power. Couture’s dirty boxing style to wear Zak down because Zak is not mentally strong. Darrill could lose enough weight to be down to light heavyweight.

– Rampage training session. Locker room time. Tiki unveils a poster with Team Rashad as “Team Cocky”. Rampage alludes to his A-Team stint as he talks in a Mr. T voice and discusses the cartoon characters on the poster. He comments on Darrill’s bra. Marcus warns Rampage that Darrill will go crazy if he sees it. McSweeney has a really long nose and some of them have long necks or are in drag.

– Rampage tells Shivers and Marcus to sparr with Zak. Kimbo doesn’t think Zak has confidence. Rampage jokes with Zak if he wants him to call his mom. He isn’t the most supportive of coaches. Hence the 0-5 record. Marcus likes Zak while Shivers doesn’t seem to as much.

– Zak looks much more worn out than Shivers during sparring. Knowing how Shivers’ energy was drained really quickly in the octagon, I think Zak must have the worst cardio of all sixteen. As Zak takes Shivers down, he gets kneed in the side of the head. It is HORRENDOUS! Split wide open on the eyebrow as blood pours out. Kimbo raises his arms up and cheers.

– It’s a nasty gash. Kimbo proceeds to thank god. He is convinced he will be taking Zak’s place. Tiki tells Kimbo to keep training. Kimbo thinks his prayers are answered. Zak can still train because the doctors clear him. Kimbo realizes he should have kept his cool. The assistant coaches undoubtedly gear him towards a cut. Zak doesn’t care that it’s blood and proceeds to train some more. Now the edit is ‘we are proud of Zak’.

– Zak is told to move his head as he trains with Marcus. He takes down Marcus. His team goes wild. They smile and cheer. We see a montage of Zak doing well in the stand-up. He intends to prove people wrong. Intense war music plays throughout this scene. It’s corny.

– Rashad trains early alone with Phillip Nurse. Phil tells Rashad to look up at what is on the wall. It’s a Team Cocky poster. Rashad is genuinely amused. Him and the assistant coaches know they will have to sit down Darrill prior to the fight.

RASHAD: If they know they can’t beat us, they may as well as make fun of us.

– Rashad decides to take the poster down and hide it behind a couch in the locker room before the rest of his team arrives at the gym. Dang Rashad works hard. Does Rampage train alone?

– Rashad meeting. He tells them he threw away a poster that contained images to throw them off focus. Rashad tells them the real joke is on Rampage because it’s 5-0. He explains that Rampage is losing because he is too focused on pranks. Then he gives the “I was here but now on the wall” speech.

– Keith Kizer is here to weigh in the two competitors. Abe thinks it is a toss-up who will want to kill three people in their sleep before the fight. Rampage tells Darrill to take off his bra before the weigh-in.

DARRILL: 251.
ZAK: 263.

Zak really needs to lose some weight. Both do. Dana thinks Zak is the weakest person overall. Junk wants to see Zak win because of how much everyone has insulted him over the past couple weeks.

– Fight Day. Darrill informs everyone that he is fighting on his birthday for the second time in his life. Matt makes the worst joke in the world that Darrill will have a beard like him. In the pool, everyone endorses their fellow teammate on both teams. Kimbo is convinced that Zak will release all of his insanity in the cage.

– Rampage arrives early (that’s a first) to draw a dot in the O’s in Schoonover. To make their point crystal, they write the word ‘t–ties’ on there. Darrill sees it. They put red tape over the word.

– RAMPAGE: Fight like it’s your wedding day. Except there’s no sex.
TIKI: But you’ll get some t–ties.

Please let this episode be over? Zak doesn’t laugh at the joke.

– Marcus asks who vandalized Darrill’s door. Nobody fesses up. Not even Rampage. He claims he can’t spell ‘t–ties’. He is really trying to exploit the uneducated Black man image. Rampage keeps telling Zak that a guy with t–ties is no fighter.

RAMPAGE: Is he happy? He’s not happy he has t–ties. Would you be happy with t–ties?
(ZAK casually shakes his head.)
RAMPAGE: Of course not.

Rampage is really a One Trick Pony when it comes to comedy. I really hope this episode was filmed in the space of 2-3 days. If I recall correctly, filming lasts around the same length as Survivor (39 days). Production must be encouraging Rampage to keep up with these jokes to maintain entertainment value. Until Kimbo is brought back for another fight, anyway.

– Both fighters warm up. I’d like it if one fighter didn’t train at all in the locker room and instead just ate a bag of chips. More t–ty comments as we prepare to fight. Zak hands over the least enthusiastic trash talk as he shows off an essay of tattoos on his back.

ZAK JENSEN
26
6’4″
80″
7-2
263
HOPKINS, MINNESOTA

DARRILL SCHOONOVER
24
6’2″
76″
10-0
251
COPPERAS COVE, TEXAS

– We see Lariani’s t–ties.

– And the editors put it together so it sounds like Rampage is pointing them out. Classy.

– Dana introduces the fifth preliminary fight. Mazzagatti is our referee.

– Darrill hits him with jabs. Both have too much fat. They clinch. Darrill has Zak against the cage. Zak wraps his arms around Darrill. Darrill has Zak against the cage again. Zak misses a stomp. Zak uppercuts him in the clinch. Darrill fires a knee and a series of numerous punches that connect.

– Zak goes for a leg and succeeds in the takedown. The wrestler is on top. Darrill has his legs around Zak’s head. It is close to a triangle. Zak continues to jab. Rampage screams for Zak to pass. I thought he hates passing the guard?

– Triangle is locked. Zak’s face is awfully red. Zak continues to hammerfist. Darrill makes the triangle tighter. Zak punches some more to the head. Darrill tries to make it tighter. Zak is dripping blood like crazy. Darrill tightens the choke some more. Zak continues to punch. Zak is unconscious. Fight is stopped. Ovuh. That was an all around ugly fight.

– Fight recap. Everyone is impressed with the fight except Rampage. He is pissed and refuses to enter the octagon because he thinks Zak knew how to get out of the triangle.

– Darrill hopes he is shown some more respect. He doesn’t expect any difference from Rampage. He wants those two additional wins. Some of Rampage’s coaches are impressed how much pain Zak took. Zak cries into his shirt and blames himself for not following the game plan.

– Rampage brings the poster to Team Rashad who are in the kitchen. They must’ve had another copy. Rashad’s team laughs. Rampage is disappointed by their reaction. He will go for a harsher prank that will ensure nobody on their team laughs.

RAMPAGE: It’s not over til the Fat Lady sings. And T–ties hasn’t sung nothin’ yet.

Next Time on TUF: Team Rashad turns on Mitrione. And Mitrione snaps. The final two preliminary match-ups are announced. Will the coaches finally come to blows? And it’s the seventh preliminary fight. Which heavyweight will come one step closer to becoming the next Ultimate Fighter?

RAMPAGE TEAM

ABE WAGNER 2x
DEMICO ROGERS 0x
KIMBO SLICE 4x
MARCUS JONES 1
SCOTT JUNK 1
WES SHIVERS 0x
WES SIMS 2x
ZAK JENSEN 5

RASHAD TEAM

BRENDAN SCHAUB 1
DARRILL SCHOONOVER 7
JAMES MCSWEENEY 3
JON MADSEN 0
JUSTIN WREN 0
MATT MITRIONE 1
MICHAEL WESSEL 0
ROY NELSON 0

Rank the Fights

1) Demico Rogers vs. Brendan Schaub (Unusual positions were used in this fight. It was quick but there was non-stop action on the ground. The unique anaconda choke on the ground is the biggest highlight thus far as Rashad is up 4-nil.)

2) Wes Sims vs. Justin Wren (Sims submitted into unconsciousness by an arm triangle? Well, I can’t say he didn’t live up to my expectations. The strikes they traded on their feet was impressive.)

3) Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson (Big names who end up finishing the fight before it goes to the lousy judges? Sadly it’s the best one after three episodes.)

4) Wes Shivers vs. James McSweeney (It was a very average affair.)

5) Zak Jensen vs. Darrill Schoonover (It was a very sloppy affair. Early triangle choke by Darrill. Fatigue and lack of jiu jitsu knowledge dictated the outcome of this fight.)

6) Abe Wagner vs. Jon Madsen (It will be a shame if this isn’t the worst fight of the season. A cut so deep that we saw the bone in Abe’s forehead, though. I can’t recall seeing a fight with three stand-ups in one round.)

P.S. Apparently it’s Arianny and not Larianni. I’ve been spelling it wrong all these years.

P.P.S. Rampage is keeping up with Shamrock for worst overall coach ever. Shamrock was able to pull out a couple wins as coach. If Rampage cannot rally with Marcus and Junk, he may take the title for good.

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