TAR 11 introduction part 3 the rest

TAR 3
—-

Florinka Pesenti & Zach Behr (1st place): I’ve covered it a million times. Flo is the prototype of the worst racer you could possibly have with you as a teammate on the race. Zach is the prototype of the best racer you could possibly have with you as a teammate on the race. Flo was great TV. Zach was not. Flo dated extremely attractive Drew. CBS asked for Flo to race with Drew. Flo pulled a Reichen and said she would only race with Zach. CBS hung up.

We will miss Flo never being in a format where she has to complete five additional roadblocks.

Teri Pollack & Ian Pollack (2nd place):

teri ian celebrate first place finish

Awesome. Amazing casting job. An older team that truly evolved during the course of the race. Older teams tend to fade or barely scrape by. Teri & Ian initially scraped by but after the midway point they became a team to be feared. They never finished last on a non-elimination leg. In fact they won legs 11 and 12, but finished only two minutes out of winning the million dollars and the game.

That’s a team who can overcome age. Ian also had an extremely dynamic edit. And unlike other older teams where the wives don’t express much agency or personality, Teri has an equally fireball personality. I can’t comprehend how they have been married for almost 30 years given how much they’ll bicker on the race.

Usually middle-aged and older bickering teams are the least likable teams outside of generic young dating couples, but for some reason this works for Teri & Ian.

Plus Ian was on the verge of changing as a new attitude came out of him once he was forced to re-visit Vietnam. From then on him and Teri went into these legendary competitors that couldn’t be stopped.

Add in being born in a generation where they were raised to be ten times resourceful than younger teams (remember how they escaped the clutches of Dieselgate compared to the other teams?) and you have an extremely strong and dynamic team worthy of the All-Star spot.

P.S. They are my Skype profile picture for the past year.

Ken Duphiney & Gerard Duphiney (3rd place): Sad panda.

In every freakin’ interview after TAR 5, Phil would always say he wants to see Ken & Gerard to return. What made it more promising is that Phil would exclusively mention them for several seasons. It was as if Phil didn’t care about the other 111 teams who have been on TAR. I was preparing for Ken & Gerard to come back.

But nope. Not even honourable mentions once All Stars was announced. What the crap? Why were they excluded? They went from being weak in the first round to being uber feared navigators. I doubt we have had a team as savvy as Ken & Gerard when it comes to maps. Look at their strings of finishes. It’s what made TAR 3 such a great season. Teams like Teri & Ian and Ken & Gerard can dominate. The young bucks absolutely bit the dust except for the worst player possible.

These two were hilarious, cutthroat, competitive, likable, hilarious, hilarious, engaging, and had an intriguing brotherhood. Plus they were gifted narrators regarding other teams. Why the heck weren’t they cast?!

It made my soul hurt. Their cut is ten times worse than Brian & Greg, and about five times worse than Jon & Al. There was no reason why these two shouldn’t be cast. They were one of the original entertainers of the series. I don’t care how many dating couples need to be cast. Ken & Gerard were more important.

Derek Riker & Drew Riker (4th place): They have nice teeth. Derek, the older brother by about ten minutes, treats Drew as if he is the older brother by about five years. Drew meanwhile courts Flo on the race to ensure an all-star spot. Derek screams some more but falls on deaf ears. I’m curious how long Drew could handle Flo on a race before voluntarily quitting and dumping her.

John Vito Pietanza & Jill Aquilino (5th place):

john vito jill

Yuh huh. Perhaps the second most surprising team to be cast for All-Star edition if you lived on the west coast or abroad.

During TAR 3’s airing, they were very popular. I would say they were the most popular team in the race in their final legs before being eliminated. For some reason Ken & Gerard lost their fan favourite status at this juncture. The juncture of course where five teams remain for three consecutive episodes.

John Vito & Jill were implied to be cast for the connection to 9/11. Jill and her brother applied for the first season of TAR. They were turned down. A few months later Jill’s brother died in the Twin Towers terrorist attack. She met John Vito. They started dating. Applied for TAR 3 which took place less than one year after the 9/11 attacks. Somehow they were magically cast.

We can argue all day if this story was an inspiring romantic tale or production taking advantage of a horrible tragedy. In any case, these two were viewed as the most bearable young dating couple in any of the first few seasons and found themselves universally well-liked. They weren’t dynamic nor performed well, but liked.

Despite pursuing grandchildren before having children, Jay Vee and Jill broke up. Production called because they saw a young dating couple the audience remembered and had the New York story to them that prompted them receiving another call. I guess Phil must have enjoyed hosting them. For whatever reason, the exes were willing to do it regardless of being broken up. Wow. They must be on the best non-sexual terms of any exes ever.

I understand the casting job, but they do seem a bit out of their element when we see the teams they are competing with. But whatever. Sometimes teachers bump up a B+ to an A- in high school.

Andre Plummer & Damon Wafer (6th place): A team whose nickname was 9-1-1 but about ten times less liked than John Vito & Jill. These guys had a negative edit. After struggling for the first few rounds, Andre & Damon paid the leaders to ride their coattails. An unusual strategy that has never been employed since. What we see is racers paying taxi drivers to follow them. Never would you see racers paying OTHER RACERS to follow them.

Just think of how bizarre that would be for newer fans to watch. If I were a leading team, I’d slowly increase the fees each round.

Uchenna & Joyce begged for money at the finish line to pay for a cab before they checked in to win the game. Andre & Damon begged for money at the finish line to pay Ken & Gerard before they checked in to win the game.

I don’t know if it’s karma but after this plan went into effect they were detained by Moroccan police for several hours followed by a connecting flight that closed down for ten hours followed by a nap on a train where they missed their stop. Okay. The nap is one hundred percent their fault.

No matter how many times Damon tried to make the audience listen, he still couldn’t get the fan base that he wanted.

Gold & Silver/Wil & Grace (7th place): Maybe it is because this season aired in 2002, but whenever I see these two I think of the TV show Wil & Grace. It doesn’t help they are both from New York. They had a very strong and charismatic personality. However, insulting Michael & Kathy, their stupid Twin Hunt, and Aaron crying on the side of the road because he refused to figure out a way to fix his problem shattered what would have been a strong all-star candidacy. Even their first three rounds were top notch. But it was that fourth round where the whole game was shaken up.

Too bad Flo & Zach betrayed them in the course of the Twin Hunt.

P.S. Aaron stumbled upon a TAR 6 pit stop that was in the process of filming while backpacking. Did Phil check him in, I wonder?

Michael Ilacqua & Kathy Perez (8th place): My favourite young dating couple of all time? Uh, yes. Michael is awesome. Michael is hilarious. Michael is a great narrator. Michael calls other teams names from 90s hip hop East LA lingo. Chicken Heads. And he’s got the mad swagger and the mad strength. And self-proclaimed mad cooking skills. Odd and gruesome metaphors for the race including Death Row Records being involved. He guaranteed the audience was able to see both Detour options in a given round (or as Grace likes to say, “the slow road”).

Unfortunately Michael’s reserved nature led to a car not being repaired for over twelve hours. That was the only thing missing from Michael’s game–a bit more of thinking on his feet and not settling for a passive style of play.

Heather Mahar and Eve Madison (9th place): The most satisfying elimination in TAR history? I think so. An elimination so satisfying that I brought it to my sixth grade classroom to watch the following week. No need for me to rehash that story out again.

I have a new piece of information to share with you:

These two were alternates for All-Stars. That’s right. They were likely replacements for Dustin & Kandice or Charla & Mirna. Really? Really?! REALLY?!

I don’t get it. The only person other than Flo who I wouldn’t want to be on my team would be Eve. She refused to do anything the whole game. She couldn’t freakin drive a stick and crashed her car. Eve complained about her bag being too heavy but refused to throw anything out. Heck, Heather was carrying half of her stuff because Heather was too strong for TAR and needed to have more of a challenge.

Luckily these two couldn’t read and denied it by accusing production of tricking them to take a cab. Whose word do you take? Heather & Eve’s or Production’s? Yeah. I know.

If these two were on TAR 14, I bet they would’ve been cast for their reading mishap. Luckily production were only lunatics to the point of casting them as alternates and we never hear from either of them again.

Seriously, Eve was whinier in three rounds than Flo was during that span.

Dennis Hyde & Andrew Hyde (10th place): It wasn’t until the past year I discovered that them using the Fast Forward and being eliminated in the same round was controversial. What the heck? You want a team who was nearly a full day behind to use the Fast Forward and survive? That means if Aaron & Arianne used the Fast Forward that round they would be checking out of the pit stop before other teams arrived.

Andrew was actively blogging for several years after appearing on this season. In fact, he blogged for All Stars.

Wish Dennis had more than five quotes all season.
“You’ve been very helpful Margarita.”
“We’re going to be talking about this when I’m 90.”
“You get to swim with the dolphins!”
“Andrew, close your pack. Andrew! Please close it.”
“We have issues. . .with his sexuality.”

Tramel Raggs & Talicia Raggs (11th place): Their age gap is virtually the same between me and my sister. I’m a decade younger than her. Tramel & Talicia are my favourite team to be booted so dang early. Granted they were not really shown in the second episode so their heavy focus in the premiere is all we have. It’d probably be what would happen to me and my sister on the race.

Read Tramel’s biography on CBS and you will understand that he was not taking it seriously. No wonder he did so terrible on the race. It’s too bad he got lost on his way to Chaka Khan Park. Why couldn’t they call cities Detroit? At least Tramel got to pee though.

They were too dang heavy for those jet skis. Better off kayaking.

Tramel & Talicia’s pit stop entrance in the season premiere is to this day my favourite entrance of all time.

Dang. TAR 3 had such a great cast. How many times have I used the word ‘favourite’ in this section? Can we just redo this season and see what happens?

Gina Diggins & Sylvia Pitts (12th place):

GINA: Fear no man. Be terrified of soccermom.
*proceeds to finish last*

SYLVIA: We were holding this kid and it reminded me of my kids at home. We have to win this race.
*proceeds to be first out of the race*

I’ve seen TAR 3 too much. Thank god they were out early because the soccer mom schtick got old after the first hour. I wish they could have taken Eve with them to Elimination Station.

Biggest Snub of the Season: Ken & Gerard
2nd Biggest Snub to Only Logan: Michael & Kathy

TAR 2

Chris Luca & Alex Boylan (1st place): The only reason Alex would be cast for All Stars is if he managed to survive Tara for five years. Something tells me Alex snapped out of it and did not pursue the relationship after the finale.

I doubt these two would have ever been remembered by the casual audience if it wasn’t for the closest come-from-behind finish in TAR history. Chris & Alex for about five episodes were viewed as a weak and unlikable version of Rob & Brennan as they harassed a Church pastor and became the first person to date somebody else who was already a member of a dating couple.

Isn’t that as low as you can possibly go on the Race? The only reason why Alex wasn’t receiving the super duper evil edit is because Tara & Wil made America hate them more than any other reality TV contestant in the spring of 2002.

People would have been outraged that they were saved by non-eliminations TWICE much like how people were outraged that Flo was saved by non-elimination two out of three times and won.

This was back when your stuff wasn’t taken away, you had to wait 30 minutes, or do a special task. You got a free pass during the first four seasons.

So Alex gets away with non-eliminations, yelling at a pastor, and proactively trying to break up a relationship.

They were never liked but were certainly the lesser of the two evils in the alliance. Heading into the finale it is safe to say 99% of the audience wanted Blake & Paige to win. Sadly, Blake & Paige lost a bit of ground.

Tara & Wil were at the finish line and had a lead. The idea of a team being overtaken at the finish line seems ludicrous after 21 seasons. What makes it more amusing is that this is the only season ever where there was a long run to the mat. Basically it was one bad joke being played on Tara’s asthma. With seconds to go, Chris’ only pair of jeans on the whole race and Alex passed Tara, then Wil for the crushing blow, and became. . .heroes?

Following TAR 2, Alex would partner up with Burton Roberts. Another man who people didn’t really like. So you have Burton and Alex making. . .a bunch of G-rated travel show? He participated in his own show called Around the World for Free. It is exactly how it sounds. Travel to sixteen countries relying upon the kindness of strangers. Alex was stuck doing this for 160 days.

A guy who appeared to use his face just to get himself on TV did something worthwhile with it and seemed to care about the world. What the heck?

P.S. I bet they would have cast Alex & Tara if they stayed together for five years. Did Chris ever speak during TAR 2?

Tara Lynch & Wil Steger (2nd place): They were as dominating as they were hated. I thought these two would be cast because they were the ORIGINAL hated team. I think the only team who was simultaneously hated and dominant was Colin & Christie. . .but I think Colin & Christie had a few fans. Tara & Wil had none. Perhaps that is why they weren’t asked back.

Their loss at the finish line has been played over and over and over again on TV. During All Stars it was the first All Star Moment that they mentioned, if I recall correctly. Wil refusing to stop running after Tara announced she had been passed will stay with me. Or Wil exiting the cab at Baker’s Circle thinking he is tricking the other teams. Or Wil picking fights with Blake. Or Wil making fun of locals. Or Wil bragging about all of the places in Thailand that he has been on business. Or the tasks Wil was too afraid to do.

Tara came off as downright evil and abusive.

I think Wil coming to the conclusion that his relationship with Tara is over after they were divorced for several years ended their storyline. And I bet neither of them would volunteer to race again. Unless you gave Tara a better puffer.

Blake Mycoskie & Paige Mycoskie (3rd place): Ah yes. My oldest brother and sister on the Race. They were nice. They were the most likable team on the season. Blake may be a bit too zany at times and impatient. But overall, a solid team. Blake was too busy selling shoes to be on TAR 11. Noble of them to be involved in charity work.

Plus they make a cameo in All Stars which is appropriate for them. I would have loved for them to be the sibling representatives, but as touched upon earlier, TAR All Star was prejudice against siblings. I have a feeling they would be the first siblings cast for TAR 11 if there was a slot.

Oswald Mendez & Danny Jimenez (4th place):
oswald danny

An unexpected casting choice. That’s not to say these guys weren’t memorable. . .it was just unexpected. They ran a very unique and independent race which does not boast any marquee moments. All of the conflict and major moments were limited to the top three teams of this season. Can you remember a big moment involving Oswald & Danny besides haphazardly showing up to a route marker one minute before the gates opened?

They managed to do some shopping at the ritzy stores and had a freakin’ Mercedes driving them around. It was like a reward you would see on Big Brother.

Outside of having the Cha Cha Cha nickname. . .there’s not much else to say about these two. They had their own sense of humour, and much like John Vito & Jill, were picked to represent the sanity of the cast. The idea of Oswald & Danny being the indicator of what is sane in All Stars is an amusing idea on its own.

Gary Rosen & Dave Lepeska (5th place): Gary was an editor for TAR 5 so they were ruled out on legal grounds alone. Plus people either really loved their sense of humour (like myself) or they really hated it (like half of the audience). Some people thought they were acting a bit too much for the camera. I doubt it. These two were comically gifted and brought laughs that other teams weren’t capable of bringing. Wil’s was cringeworthy, and Oswald & Danny had their own metro charm. Gary? It was very Simpsons like. If it weren’t for smelling so bad, I would assume Gary & Dave’s nicknames came from being like Simpsons characters.

Their indecisiveness at the Coober Pedy detour is what I will remember most. Just pick a task, dangit.

Mary Lenig & Peach Krebs (6th place): The first all-female team to win a round of TAR without the aid of a Fast Forward. Odd for a team who failed at using the Fast Forward twice during the race.

“I’ll get my nails done and you go get a beer”.

Mary was billed as the older sister who was responsible and took care of herself in the real world. Meanwhile Peach was a princess who relied heavily on her parents, whiny, and possessing zero life experience. Princess Peach. Really? We’re going down the video games path, editors?

This is the first all-female team that I endorsed. TAR 1 had three all-female teams that were annoying for different reasons. But Mary & Peach were a pleasure to watch.

“If you go there, they will KILL you!”
“Uh. . .thanks.”
“Here’s my sunglasses.”

Peach toughs it out on one of the biggest uphill climbs ever witnessed in TAR as she plays through a sore ankle. They cheer thinking they will take the Fast Forward that round only to have Oswald & Danny go there for the fancy drinks. . .oh, and because of Danny’s injury.

Knees and ankles get hurt a lot in TAR’s early years. Probably why less running on sand dunes and plateaus are the way to go for the more recent seasons.

Who knew a round that involved finding Phil’s Junk would eliminate the last remaining all-female team in the race.

Cyndi Kalenberg & Russell Kalenberg (7th place): I hear they are religious. If God loans himself to TAR on a season-by-season basis, he was definitely assigned to Cyndi & Russell for this season. My word. The only non-religious things to occur involving these two was Russell making out with Fat Maria, Cyndi stumbling uninvited into Christian Bale’s Bat Cave, and Russell refusing to make a decision about how to navigate the confusing and overwhelming nature when he steps into Bangkok.

Phil’s Junk to Bangkok. This blog is real classy.

Shola Richards & Doyin Richards (8th place): Prior to the James & Abba days, this team was one of the strongest contenders for unluckiest team ever. Nothing went smoothly for these two. It all started with one of them getting their ankle rolled upon by their own taxi driver. It was a fate that even James & Abba avoided. Add in a car getting stuck in the sand dunes and you have a fourth round elimination of a team who also burned through their Fast Forward.

Nothing went right. It’s too bad because this team is the nicest, kindest, smartest, and most physically fit team to ever be cast. It is a type of team that does not come close to being cast in the modern TAR era.

P.S. At least they went to the homeland of their Sierra Leonean father in Cape Town.

Peggy Kuhn & Claire Jinks (9th place):

peggy claire

I am so stoked that these two are going to be in All Stars. Seriously, how can you go wrong with them? The Gutsy Grannies. Fear no man, but be terrified of Granny. Everything was a series of unfortunate events. Perhaps the unluckiest team ever? Show up to a Fast Forward and Shola & Doyin are there. Miss a connecting flight by mere minutes.

Their departure was premature. They were in line to win the whole dang race. These two made Meredith & Gretchen and Don & Mary Jean like droopy eyed armless children.

Peggy’s enthusiasm for the Race was undeniable. While watching you knew she was enjoying every minute of it. Russell saw this and that’s why he gave them such a sweet farewell.

Beware Rob & Amber, Gutsy Grannies are on the scene and they will beat you down!
.
.
.
.
/sarcasm

Hope Davis & Norm Davis (10th place): Did they really  check in ahead of Blake & Paige at the second pit stop? We’ll never know. Blake insists it happened while CBS denied it. These two were invisible in the first round and only shown in round two because of their relationship to Blake & Paige. In fact, I would say the only way you mention Hope & Norm is if you bring up Blake & Paige.

Now I have Paige Davis in my head. That’s what happens when you talk about 2002 reality TV shows that share names with a star who was ignored after 2002.

Deidre Washington & Hilary Washington (11th place): The estranged mother-daughter team who weren’t all that estranged. Hilary lived with her father, Freddie, for several years. And who can blame her? Freddie Washington was the greatest Sweathog to ever live. Take that, Vinny Barbarino.

Apparently their estranged relationship wasn’t entirely truthful because they reconciled by the end of the first episode. Take a flight to Brazil, kiss a tree, go see Christ the Redeemer statue, and get beat by Grannies can heal a relationship instantly.

Biggest Snub of the Season: Tara & Wil. Possibly Blake & Paige and Shola & Doyin.

TAR 1

Rob Frisbee & Brennan Swain (1st place): You know it’s the 21st century when people root for lawyers to win a reality TV show. Or because the other two teams were that big of jacka—es. One of the two.

The team that took the first Fast Forward of the very first season of the very first round in TAR history.

They were the original winners. After a rough start where they wasted their Fast Forward in the opening round, Rob & Brennan found themselves in alliances that betrayed them. However none of this mattered once it got to leg nine when they shared nearly a whole day’s lead with Frank & Margarita. They won a million dollars back when a million dollars was truly life changing.

While Rob talked ninety percent of the time during the episodes on TV, it was Brennan who had all of the attention on him after the season was done. I can remember him appearing on the Rosie O’ Donnell Show and announcing he was indeed in a relationship with Emily. Brennan currently writes TAR recaps and analysis for a random website. It is neat to think over eleven years later that Brennan’s passion for TAR continues to live on.

They were probably avoided because they were not captivating enough and viewed as too strong of a team.

Frank Mesa & Margarita Mesa (2nd place): I have a feeling Margarita’s last name has changed since then but oh well. Why does TAR never get sick of casting separated couples onto the Race? Probably because they have proven to be the craziest each season. You have Frank & Margarita to thank for this precedent.

Frank & Margarita had a child of their own but separated for several months. From the first round you can see why. Both have very strong personalities. Endearing, but strong personalities. Their competitiveness translates into why they were ridiculously successful throughout the season. Margarita is one of few women in co-ed teams to consistently perform roadblocks until the roadblock rule came into effect.

They were the biggest quotes machines of the season. The way they fire each other up and diss each other as well as everyone else led to reactions where you can’t help but crack up.

“I need your brains not your emotions!”

Yeah, wonder why that relationship did not work out.

Perhaps the biggest moment for Frank & Margarita is their overboard level of confidence in the final leg when they discovered it would be played out in their hometown. Not only was it their hometown of New York City, but in the same burrough where they lived most of their life. For them they could not have asked for a better situation. For viewers, they were ready to stir up the biggest public outcry that could have effectively ended the series.

Luckily, we get one of the most iconic images ever as Frank & Margarita point out the houses where they grew up in on the way to the finish line, smile as they run, see Rob & Brennan, and proceed to frown as they hold hands and jog to the mat.

If I were Frank & Margarita, I would have been equally cocky with my advantage. Only one other team in the running and they have never visited the million dollar city? It’s a no-contest.

However, as we learn with subsequent seasons, the idea of a team having an advantage in their home city or a place they know well does not seem to help one way or the other. In fact, the conclusion of TAR 21 is the biggest deal made out of a home field advantage since the first season. Viewers forget that Josh knowing New York for twenty years but not living there full time is nowhere near Frank & Margarita playing out the end of the race in the twenty blocks that they live 99% of their lives.

Again, I doubt these two would have agreed to race together as a team. Despite being the original crazy couple.

Joe Baldassere & Bill Bartek (3rd place):

guidos

Joe & Bill were portrayed as the original villains. Go ahead and laugh.

But believe it or not, they were. Much like Richard Hatch, Joe & Bill were the middle-aged gay men who were portrayed as villains.

I don’t understand why middle-aged gay men get to be the first villains of these TV programs, but we just have to accept it.

In my primitive ranking of the first season, I reflect on how the Guidos weren’t villains. They were funny. Ended an alliance after one round was evil. Racing independently was evil. And negotiating ferry tickets was evil. And an off-camera shove of Nancy that we never see was evil.

Because of this, every team hated them as well as the audience. That’s right. 50 year old gay men whose nickname originates from the name of their puny dog. After the race they are so enthusiastic about TAR they frequently call up Phil Keoghan and talk to him about the show and his fashion choices (turtlenecks were no doubt a topic).I have not heard one bad word about the Guidos after season one ended. Friendly guys who enjoy every moment of TAR? So evil.

They took five weeks of humiliation rather well as they found themselves laughing in Alaska when they opened a clue to discover the race ended in New York. Villains should be angry and frustrated by today’s standards, but they laughed it off and let the locals fling them into the air on blankets.

Oddly enough their day one alliance that they betrayed on day two ended up being the top two teams of the season.

Thanks to their complex villain edit, their upbeat personalities for older men, these two were auto-cast. They desperately needed redemption from one of the most humiliating storylines in TAR history. Never has a team screwed up the use of a Fast Forward so badly.

Kevin O’ Connor & Drew Feinberg (4th place):

hot dog stand 1

If Joe & Bill were the first villains, Kevin & Drew were the first heroes. They had this unusually rivalry with the Guidos. These teams could not break up from one another. They did well in the same legs but proceeded to be humiliated in the later legs together. Their battle to see who could lose the race for 24 hours stretched across multiple episodes.

Part of me feels like Kevin & Drew wanted to outlast Guidos more than they wanted to win one million dollars.

So why were they so dang well-liked? They defended Nancy & Emily’s honour as they threatened to get into a physical altercation with the Guidos after Nancy was supposedly shoved. Kevin & Drew yelled at each other. They helped Nancy & Emily for most of the race. They were emotional at the right times. And they threatened to beat up Joe & Bill every ten minutes.

If I had to compare Kevin & Drew’s relationship to Joe & Bill, I would say you should take out your VCR and pop in the movie Grumpy Old Men.

The two most well-known teams who despised each other were bound to be brought back. The original heroes and the original villains were bound to draw in the old school audiences

P.S. This is Kevin & Drew’s third appearance on the race course. They handed out a clue in TAR 8 at the Frank stand. Granted, nobody has PLAYED the race three times, but Kevin & Drew have made it into the show in three separate seasons.

Nancy Hoyt & Emily Hoyt (5th place): Thank goodness all of my harsh comments regarding Nancy were made before she died. If I did it now, I would come off as extremely insensitive. I really don’t need to rehash all of my reasons for not liking Nancy.

Lenny Hudson & Karyn Jefferson (6th place): Broke up after the race but reunited to do TAR 1 commentary together. There is only one reason to bring back this team–

LENNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
LENNYYYYYYYYYYYY.
LENNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
LENNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
LENNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
LENNYYYYYYYY.
LENNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
LENNYYYYYYYYYYY.

Paul Alessi & Amie Barksy (7th place): An interesting couple. You could never determine whether they liked each other or not. Amie was prone to whining and complaining, but Paul would threaten to quit which infuriated Amie. No wonder they were the fifth team out of the race. Somehow they finished out a round where Amie was incessantly vomiting. Production told them to keep the car.

These two stayed together and married. What we saw on TV made this news quite the shocker. They delivered enough in their short run, but they might be ranked around 60th before being requested for an all-star season.

Dave Groark & Margaretta Groark (8th place): The money exchange rate killed them. They would have ousted Lenny & Karyn, and who knows what happens from there. I bet they finish in sixth no matter what after that.

The first old couple to play. Compared to a large number of other old couples to be on the race in 21 seasons, they did reasonably well. Oh wait. No they didn’t. They incorrectly completed a task in round two and a task in round three. This team is the reason for why roadblocks and detours have such strict guidelines for completion in the future. I think Andre & Damon are the last team to screw up a task and not penalized until the following leg. Other than that, teams are flat out told to re-do the task or are given a time penalty right there at the task.

Again, the exchange rate killed them.

Speaking of killed, Margaretta was the first TAR contestant to die.

Pat Pierce & Brenda Mehta (9th place): The first team to use a Fast Forward and be eliminated later on in the race. I hear they are moms.

Kim Smith & Leslie Kellner (10th place): The original TAR b—es. Invisible in the first round but became absolutely hated with their tactics and comments made in TAR 2. They go after Amie, who is probably the smallest person on the race besides Guido hiding in Joe’s backpack, and bullied her for no reason whatsoever.

A very satisfying elimination.

Matt Robar & Ana Robar (11th place): Wow. This team was unlikable. I think it is appropriate that the first team eliminated from TAR is the most unenthusiastic team ever. They hated communicating with locals from other countries and would much rather be anywhere in America than traveling to foreign lands and exploring the world.

It would have been hilarious to see these two brought back as the Biggest Trivia Question of All-Time. They are the Sonja Christophers, the Will Megas, the Manuels, and the David of competitive reality television. Way to join the Hall of Fame, Matt & Ana.

53 pages later, and the TAR 11 intro is done! Let’s get to the show already!

Biggest Snub: Frank & Margarita

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