TUF 8 episodes 10 + 11 + 12 ranking

Tenth episode

Previously on TUF: Vinny proved he was for real when he submitted Jules with a world class jiu jitsu move. Phillipe Nover made the other lightweights take notice by dismantling Dave Kaplan. And Krzystof easily handled Kyle showing how he is the favourite to win the contract. Up next the final preliminary bout. Lightweights John Polakowski and George Roop fight for the final spot in the semis. Who will emerge victorious and move one step closer to becoming the ultimate fighter?

– Fight recap. A lot of clinch wars. Plenty of groin strikes before Kyle took Krzystof down. Junie thinks his sister could have caught Kyle in an armbar. Mother, sister. . .Browning’s siblings are a family of fighters.

– Van time. Shane Primm believes John is illegally insane. If only that were a real term. Eliot snickers at John’s constant hugging and affection. Junie describes him as a nut. We see a montage of John hugging various members of the house. John says people don’t hug properly anymore. It’s important to squeeze on the hug to show you care about the person. Phillipe draws something that says “FIRE THE CANNONS” at John’s request. John wants to always be filled with energy.

– George has bad intentions against the nicest guy in the house. We see him ferociously punch and kick a punching bag. George had a rough upbringing as a skinny white boy in Tucson. Aren’t all boys in Arizona skinny and white? George learned how to fight and didn’t get picked on anymore. At the age of eighteen he started fighting for a living. George loves proving wrong to all the people who doubted him or picked on him and never thought he could make something for himself.

– George sparrs and appears to have broken a couple knuckles. Mir tells us that a couple fingers are visibly hyperextended. Ouch. It’s swelling up like my broken pinky toe. George can’t close his hand and make a fist. Not good. George sleeps in the gym as his hand is in a tub of ice. How can you fall asleep as one hand is frozen is beyond me.

– House time. John wore a pirate hat and announces to fire the cannons. He usually wakes up groggy and consumed some cereal. He hates how the Mir team is f—ing with him and is pissed off for once. He curses out Mir’s team for eating his Lucky Charms. Why must Mir’s team always be after his Lucky Charms?

– At the gym John doesn’t even hug Eliot. Mir’s team tries to provoke him some more.

ELIOT: Holy cow. The happiest guy in the house gets pissed off over f—ing marshmallows.

SHANE NELSON: You can piss in his fruit, talk about his mom, but don’t f— with his Lucky Charms.

– Eliot hugs and shakes John a few times. They all laugh because John’s reaction is the same as when other fighters are hugged by John against their will.

ELIOT: Say it. “They f—ed with me Lucky Charms.”

– John plans to go inside of George after his kick. Well, you know what I mean. Phillipe questions if John has the killer instinct. Big Nog says John has the heart of a champion. This statement would carry weight if Big Nog hadn’t already said this about all of the other fighters.

– More ice for George’s hand. Anything to reduce the swelling. My word. I can still see the swelling. Mir labels George’s damaged hand as a fear factor. What’s worse is that George is right handed and his right hand is injured. The new plan is for George to take down John because John is known for having the worst jiu jitsu in the house.

– Weigh-ins. John is massaging Mir’s shoulders and hugging him and playing around with him. John is bleeding out of his head. Dana warns us not to take John’s goofiness lightly as a fighter. Big Nog acknowledges that George is much better than John on the ground. I can understand why John beat Olaf twice because Olaf’s game has less groundwork than John.

– They weigh in. At the square off John hugs George a couple times.

– House time. The fighters are eating dinner. Suddenly Big Nog enters the house. I swear Big Nog pops in at the house at least once per episode. You’re lucky to have any other coach show up more than once per season. Big Nog likes to play around with George Roop because he is a cool guy. He pretends to choke George Roop for a few seconds and teases George that John will beat him. Big Nog claims that George’s next opponent will be Big Nog himself. I doubt this can happen unless it were in an open weight class tournament a la PRIDE rules. Big Nog hugs John before departing.

– Fight day. In the morning George and John discuss if they will hug at the start of the fight. John says a hug but no touch of the gloves.

– Mir instructs George to visualize beating John’s red-headed a–.

GEORGE ROOP / TUCSON, ARIZONA / 8-3 / (ROLI DELGADO)
JOHN POLAKOWSKI / SAN LUIS OBISPO, CALIFORNIA / 2-1 / (WESLEY MURCH)

– It is the fourth preliminary fight. Steve Mazzagatti is our referee. They touch gloves then hug in the centre of the ring. A long hug. John whispers something into George’s ear. They back away and are ready to go. George head kicks but misses. John lands some punches. George lands a head kick. John rushes in with more punches. George knees John in the head and misses another head kick. John rushes in but misses. George connects with a body kcik. John sets up a combination but George counters well with jabs and kicks. Left jabs I should note. John comes in for some more strikes. George goes down low and succeeds with the takedown. He is in full guard. He punches and elbows John with his left hand. George punches with his right hand once. John is trying to grab onto anything but George passes into side control. He has almost complete control of John’s movements. George elbows John in the gut. John spins and wizards to put George in his full guard. John is scrunched against the cage. Half guard. Punches and elbows from the top by George. John flips but George takes John’s back. Punches. He has both hooks in and has John’s stomach pointing to the sky. John turns into George and is on top. He punches George in the face. George holds John close to him. George elbows from the bottom. John elbows a bit from the top. Action is stalling. Both are striking each other quite well. John works in some strikes before the round is called. End of round one.

– Shameless booty and breastage shots of the ring female. John questions Big Nog if he did indeed win the round.

– George runs across the octagon and clinches John to knee him in the chest. John and George trade some nast punches. George is hurt and runs away from John but John chases George to clinch him. George is looking to drop. John connects with some strikes right on the button. Some knees in the clinch. He nearly makes George tumble with a punch on the chin. George has nothing when he front kicks. George and John both land a punch on the chin. George is swinging for the fences. John shoots in with a punch but misses. They clinch. George knees John in the face. John punches George’s face a few times. George knees John in the face again and again. George shoots in and gets a takedown. Side control. Just when this fight was a foregone conclusion. John spins into full guard. George scrunches John against the cage. He opens up John fairly well. John tries to get up but George rotates to take John’s back. John’s nose is very bloody. George has the arm around the throat but John defends. George has a body triangle on John. John ain’t going anywhere. George elbows John in the kidney. I can feel the pain. More elbows to the kidney followed by punches to the face. George maintains the pattern. He goes for a choke but John prevents him from doing so. No 5k for Roop. End of round and possibly end of fight. Actually I imagine it’s the end of fight.

– There is a decision.

STEVE: Damn good fight guys.

Whoa. Did Steve just offer his opinion on a fight? I thought he was meant to be a mediocre referee who didn’t enjoy MMA in the least. This is a first.

– Fight replay. George recalls the uniqueness of the hug. John remembers the great exchanges. George saves the right hand for the second round. Mir says George had one hand and two legs while John had two arms and no legs because he was afraid of going to the ground. First round goes to Roop. In the second round Mir thought it was over when John was on the verge of knocking out George. Dana comments that Roop did zero damage after he put John in the body triangle. So it should be a tie.

– Winner by unanimous decision is George Roop. I guess none of the judges cared that George didn’t do any damage in the second round. Dana hates when fighters get robbed because of a bad decision. Everyone agrees it should have gone to a third round. John walks out and enters the locker room. He knows the risk you take leaving it in the hands of the judges.

– Mir’s locker room is stoked that they won the series 5-3. They triumphed over Big Nog’s family dinners and togetherness. While they on the other hand kept it strictly professional. John wants to celebrate the night.

– House time. They all drink and Team Nog throws stuff at Team Mir in the pool. This sets off none other than Junie Browning. Really loud cursing and anger comes from Browning as he stands up in his speedo. Not only does Junie have an anger problem but he has fashion issues as well.

– Junie runs up the stairs. Other fighters chase after him reminding him he is in the finals.

BROWNING (shuts door over and over frantically as it is shut so hard that it busts open): SHUT UP PRUNES! SHUT UP PRUNES! GET F—ING OUT HERE!

– Junie says he can’t control it. Yeah. You definitely need anger management.  Team Nog and Krzystof shout at Junie to lighten up. John stands up in the centre and makes a speech that he is for peace.

– I guess that’s the end of that because we head straight to a coach’s meeting with Dana. Time for semi-final selections. Dana makes his usual speech that they end up with the best guys in the semis. He expects good fights. First up is Bader.

BADER: Marshall. He called me out in the cage after fighting Primm.
MARSHALL: I wanna fight Bader because he has the best ability to fight everyone here.
KRZYSTOF: Best bet would be Bader because he would be the easiest one to fight. He has wrestling and that’s it.
VINNY: Krzystof because he’s been talking s— about me.
PHILLIPE: I’ll take on Roop. George Roop. Because he is the weakest.
ROOP (eye swollen shut): Nogueira has been calling me out the past couple days. You know, Phillipe of course because he is a tough opponent. Maybe Junie is the weakest because of his cardio.
JUNIE: Bader. No, no, no. Efrain.
EFRAIN: Junie Browning. Junie is probably the weakest.

– The fights are announced.

RYAN BADER vs. ELIOT MARSHALL
PHILLIPE NOVER  vs. GEORGE ROOP
KRZYSTOF SOSZYNSKI vs. VINNY MAGALHAES
JUNIE BROWNING vs. EFRAIN ESCUDERO

– Dana claims it’ll be fun.

Next time on TUF: The semi final fights kick off. In the first light heavyweight match-up it’s jiu jitsu black belt Eliot Marshall of Team Mir finally gets his wish as he takes on Team Nogueira’s number one pick Ryan Bader. Then in the first lightweight semi final Team Mir’s Feel No Pain Warrior George Roop takes on Team Nogueira’s number one hitman Phillipe Nover. Two fighters will emerge victorious and move on to the live finale at The Palms. Who will become the next ultimate fighter?

Confessional count

TEAM MIR

LIGHTWEIGHT

DAVE KAPLAN 0
GEORGE ROOP 9
JUNIE BROWNING 4
SHANE NELSON 1

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

ELIOT MARSHALL 4
KRZYSTOF SOSZYNSKI 1
TOM LAWLOR 1
VINNY MAGALHAES 0

TEAM NOGUEIRA

LIGHTWEIGHT

EFRAIN ESCUDERO 1
JOHN POLAKOWSI 7
PHILIPE NOVER 2
ROLI DELGADO 0

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

JULES BRUCHEZ 0
KYLE KINGSBURY 0
RYAN BADER 3
SHANE PRIMM 1

Rank the Fights

1) Ryan Bader vs. Tom Lawlor (Excellent control of all aspects by Bader. To top it all off he managed to knock a guy out from half guard. I applaud your work, Bader.)

2) Efrain Escudero vs. Shane Nelson (A triangle choke from full mount??? Is that even possible? A very good technical match in the latter half of the fight. Junie Browning’s WWF-like entrance following the match only boosts its honourable (or dishonourable) finish to the episode.)

3) Wesley Murch vs. John Polakowsi (These guys fought hard. Great battle. Wesley continues to fight on a knee worse than the broken leg that Olaf tried to fight with in match #2 with John Polakowsi. Wesley was completely out of his mind to attempt a flying knee with his hurt leg. Best match in the round of 32.)

4) Mike Stewart vs. Krzystof Soszinski (A memorable fight in the round of 32. I never thought a guy could defend in such a terrible manner on their feet. Krzystof punched through Mike’s barrier which resulted in one of the strangest stoppages I have seen. I didn’t know a guy covering up on his feet could lead to a referee ending the fight.)

5) Dave Kaplan vs. Phillipe Nover (Phillipe may have put on the slickest minute of striking and maneuvering into full mount that has been witnessed on the show in a really long time.)

6) George Roop vs. John Polakowski (The biggest striking war that is seen from any of the preliminary fights all season. John refused to go to the ground while George refrained from using his right hand until the second round. It makes for a very unorthodox fight.)

7) Junie Browning vs. Jose Aguilar (What a beatdown by Junie. Jose ain’t stand a chance, naw what I mean?)

8) Ido Pariente vs. Efrain Escudero (Great reversals by Efrain to accomplish his game plan.)

9) Shane Primm vs. Sean O’ Connell (Great coaching and one of the neatest moves I have seen makes it one of the best Round of 32 fights.)

10) Eliot Marshall vs. Shane Primm (Why not?)

11) Krzystof Soszynski vs. Kyle Kingsbury (A guy who lost easily once ends up losing easily again? Who saw that coming?)

12) Dave Kaplan vs. Fernando Bernstein (

There was some flying knees in the air that fight
The kicks and strikes
Then choke Fernandooooo.)

13) Joe Duarte vs. Phillipe Nover (An unfortunate groin strike but the fact Phillipe was able to cause major damage while his back was taken is rather impressive.)

14) Eric MaGee vs. Jules Bruchez (Eric’s ground game sucks. Nothing much else to comment on this pre-house fight.)

15) Ryan Lopez vs. Tom Lawlor (This is ‘Rank the Fights’. How can this be classified as a fight?)

16) Vinny Magalhaes vs. Jules Bruchez (Nothing to report on this fight.)

Eleventh episode

Previously on TUF: Light heavyweight Ryan Bader crushed Tom Lawlor with an impressive first round knockout. Eliot Marshall let victory go to his head after choking out Shane Primm. In the lightweight bracket, George Roop defeated John Polakowski in a brutal two round war. And Phillipe Nover caught Dana White’s eyes by literally beating early favourite Dave Kaplan into submission. Now it’s time for the semi-finals. First up Bader versus Marshall. Then get ready for a highly anticipated lightweight battle. Phillipe Nover tries to live up to his huge potential against tough as nails George Roop. Who will become the ultimate fighter?

– Intro time. Is there really another SEVEN seasons that use this song in the intro? That is complete utter bull of BS.

– Weigh-ins. Yep. That means both fights will go a while. Dana finds Bader and Eliot to be an interesting fight. Bader is a great wrestler. Big Nog thinks Bader is both a better striker and wrestler while everyone else views it as striker versus wrestler. Dana thinks Eliot has a good chance of pulling out a sick submission in the fight.

– Team Nog training session. We see Bader sweat those abs. Bader likes how great the training has been going. It’s Nogueira’s lone light heavyweight representative in the semis. He goes hard training with Nogueira.

Not that hard.

Dang. He punches Nogueira fairly hard.

– Team Mir training session. We witness Eliot on the ol treadmill and punching Krzystof. Brazilian jiu jitsu is Eliot’s bread and butter. Find the ol’ open door. Eliot and Mir shout as they punch each other in the dressing room. Boy are they fired up.

ELIOT MARSHALL / BOULDER, COLORADO / 5-1 / (SHANE PRIMM)
RYAN BADER / TEMPE, ARIZONA / 7-0 / (KYLE KINGSBURY, TOM LAWLOR)

RYAN: I’m looking forward to this and fight looking forward.

He has a strong sense of direction.

– Rosenthal is our referee. They touch gloves. Both feint. Bader leg kicks. Eliot fires in but Bader counters. Eliot nearly catches Bader’s leg. Bader misses a punch. So does Eliot. Head kick by Eliot. They dance around each other. Eliot accidentally groin kicks but it’s a quick apology and they continue. Body kick by Eliot. Bader lands a combination to the face. Bader fires a leg kick but quickly retracts when Eliot attempts to snag it. Eliot comes in but is unable to connect. Bader dances in and does some weird grabbing that does nada. Bader keeps coming in with combinations. They exchange punches but both are doing a good job of dodging. Bader misses. Defensive sense is strong in this fight. Bader catches a leg and arm to put Eliot onto the ground. Full guard. Rosenthal wants he will stand them up. Bader has Eliot up against the cage. Maybe four short elbows thrown all this time? Eliot shoots a short elbow from the bottom.  Bader returns with some elbows of his own. Bader stands up over Eliot. End of round. Bader’s nose is cut.

– They touch gloves again. They circle each other. Bader comes in with a combo. Eliot returns with a punch and kick combo. Bader rushes but misses. Eliot faints. Both look like they are ducking. Eliot tries a head kick but Bader snags it and uses it as leverage to take Eliot down to the ground. He works Eliot into the cage. Both hold each other very close in Eliot’s full guard. They slowly turn away from the cage. No strikes have occurred. Bader throws a couple elbows. Eliot attempts an unorthodox triangle but Bader holds onto him and slams him into the mat. He holds Eliot against the cage. Eliot spins nearly to his back as Bader elbows him hard. Eliot rotates back to where he was. Full guard continues. Rosenthal calls for a clean break. They touch gloves. Both are out of breath. Both connect with punches to the chin. Bader ducks and holds Eliot down. Junie Browning will go ballistic. No strikes. No submission attempts. One elbow from Bader because Eliot wants to scramble. A short elbow from each fighter. End of round. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

– They touch gloves. Bader comes in with a strike but Eliot backs away. Bader attempts a leg kick but Eliot catches it. Bader renegotiates and takes Eliot down to the mat. He is in Eliot’s full guard. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I’m not anti-ground game but advance position for crying out loud. Eliot has a leg! Bader is holding the cage but Rosenthal warns him to let go. Holding the fence for half a second works well enough for Bader to be in full control. Clean break. Bader fires a leg kick. Eliot lands a punch to the face that is countered by a takedown. A couple hammer fists by Bader. It’s the most active he has been. Eliot goes for Bader’s right arm but Bader picks him up and slams him. Eliot lands some elbows from the bottom. Clean break. Eliot misses a head kick. Bader comes in with a punch. Eliot connects with a leg kick. He fires a looping head kick but Bader ducks. . .and takes Eliot down. One minute remains. Full guard. Same old same old. This is like watching Rashad fight in TUF 2. Short elbows. Bader does some weird trampoline flop onto Eliot’s body. Ten seconds. Eliot strikes from the bottom. End of fight. What. A. Snoozer.

– Fight replay. A little bit of striking while Bader holds Eliot down. Dana thought Eliot refused to take any risks. Mir compliments Bader on winning the fight as a wrestler rather than a fighter. He complimented it as a great wrestling match between the two.

– Bader wins by unanimous decision. Eliot hates that other fighters make excuses when they lose and they would win 100 times out of 101. He accepts he lost and concedes defeat. Bader won by lay and pray. Nothing else to it.

– Weigh-ins. Dana laughs about Phillipe’s original nickname of Fainting Phillipe. I highly doubt George’s swollen eye and broken right hand can defeat a very fresh Phillipe Nover. This one could be quick.

– Team Nog training session. Phillipe intends to throw some devastating strikes and body lock him. He guarantees a first round victory. Wonder what happened to the last guy who guaranteed a first round victory. . .

– Team Mir training session. Holy crap George’s right eye is REALLY swollen. It’s like Two Face from Batman. Mir thinks George is training harder because he is injured. Isn’t that the worst thing you want to do? If you don’t fight you don’t eat.

– Nover intends to subtract all emotion and be completely animalistic. He is the tiger and has to eat cause he’s hungry. He’s the tiger and you’re dead, Roop.

GEORGE ROOP / TUCSON, ARIZONA / 8-3 / (ROLI DELGADO, JOHN POLAKOWSKI)
PHILLIPE NOVER / BROOKLYN, NEW YORK / 4-0-1 / (JOE DUARTE, DAVE KAPLAN)

– Rosenthal is our referee. They touch gloves. Both come in and swing each other hard. Suddenly Roop is on the ground and Phillipe is in half guard. They do somersaults on the ground until Roop is on top. Phillipe is locked onto Roop’s left arm. Phillipe has Roop’s right leg trapped. Roop works to be on top. Roop shoves Nover into the cage. Phillipe has a tougher lock on Roop’s left arm. It is being bent back quite far. It is fully flipped over. Roop tries to roll over but Phillipe has Roop’s legs locked. Roop inevitably taps.

– Call of Duty Fight Replay. Big Nog says Phillipe and Anderson Silva are the same. Phillipe is one bad dude. Dana found the fight to go the same way as he predicted it would. Phillipe worked for the kimora for over a minute. Nearly broke Roop’s arm. His good arm at that. Tough to get out of a lock using a broken hand. Much quicker and more exciting fight. Big Nog insists Phillipe to not faint. The Fainter is in the final. Dana observes that Phillipe is one of the most talented kids he has seen on TUF ever. Big Nog loves helping make their dreams.

– Roop sits alone in the corner of a boxing ring. He wanted to win and it sucks to lose. He gives Phillipe all the respect in the world. He’ll come back, be healthy, and become twice the fighter that he is today.

Next time on TUF: Two have made it to the finals. Two spots are left. They both shredded their way through the competition.  Now teammates Krzystof Soszynski and Vinny Magalhaes will clash in the octagon. Then it’s the fight “everyone” has been waiting for. Hot headed smack talker Junie Browning versus Efrain Escudero. But on the eve of the fight Junie goes berserk. Again. Dana must decide if he has a future in the UFC. Is this finally the end of the road for Junie Browning? Who will face Bader and Nover in the finale and get their shot at becoming the next ultimate fighter?

Confessional count

TEAM MIR

LIGHTWEIGHT

DAVE KAPLAN 0
GEORGE ROOP 6
JUNIE BROWNING 0
SHANE NELSON 0

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

ELIOT MARSHALL 6
KRZYSTOF SOSZYNSKI 0
TOM LAWLOR 0
VINNY MAGALHAES 0

TEAM NOGUEIRA

LIGHTWEIGHT

EFRAIN ESCUDERO 0
JOHN POLAKOWSI 0
PHILIPE NOVER 5
ROLI DELGADO 0

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

JULES BRUCHEZ 0
KYLE KINGSBURY 0
RYAN BADER 5
SHANE PRIMM 0

Rank the Fights

1) Ryan Bader vs. Tom Lawlor (Excellent control of all aspects by Bader. To top it all off he managed to knock a guy out from half guard. I applaud your work, Bader.)

2) Efrain Escudero vs. Shane Nelson (A triangle choke from full mount??? Is that even possible? A very good technical match in the latter half of the fight. Junie Browning’s WWF-like entrance following the match only boosts its honourable (or dishonourable) finish to the episode.)

3) Wesley Murch vs. John Polakowsi (These guys fought hard. Great battle. Wesley continues to fight on a knee worse than the broken leg that Olaf tried to fight with in match #2 with John Polakowsi. Wesley was completely out of his mind to attempt a flying knee with his hurt leg. Best match in the round of 32.)

4) Mike Stewart vs. Krzystof Soszinski (A memorable fight in the round of 32. I never thought a guy could defend in such a terrible manner on their feet. Krzystof punched through Mike’s barrier which resulted in one of the strangest stoppages I have seen. I didn’t know a guy covering up on his feet could lead to a referee ending the fight.)

5) Dave Kaplan vs. Phillipe Nover (Phillipe may have put on the slickest minute of striking and maneuvering into full mount that has been witnessed on the show in a really long time.)

6) George Roop vs. Phillipe Nover (Read above.)

7) George Roop vs. John Polakowski (The biggest striking war that is seen from any of the preliminary fights all season. John refused to go to the ground while George refrained from using his right hand until the second round. It makes for a very unorthodox fight.)

8) Junie Browning vs. Jose Aguilar (What a beatdown by Junie. Jose ain’t stand a chance, naw what I mean?)

9) Ido Pariente vs. Efrain Escudero (Great reversals by Efrain to accomplish his game plan.)

10) Shane Primm vs. Sean O’ Connell (Great coaching and one of the neatest moves I have seen makes it one of the best Round of 32 fights.)

11) Eliot Marshall vs. Shane Primm (Why not?)

12) Krzystof Soszynski vs. Kyle Kingsbury (A guy who lost easily once ends up losing easily again? Who saw that coming?)

13) Dave Kaplan vs. Fernando Bernstein (

There was some flying knees in the air that fight
The kicks and strikes
Then choke Fernandooooo.)

14) Joe Duarte vs. Phillipe Nover (An unfortunate groin strike but the fact Phillipe was able to cause major damage while his back was taken is rather impressive.)

15) Eric MaGee vs. Jules Bruchez (Eric’s ground game sucks. Nothing much else to comment on this pre-house fight.)

16) Ryan Lopez vs. Tom Lawlor (This is ‘Rank the Fights’. How can this be classified as a fight?)

17) Vinny Magalhaes vs. Jules Bruchez (Nothing to report on this fight.)

18) Eliot Marshall vs. Ryan Bader (TUF 2 heavyweight flashbacks.)

Twelfth episode

Previously on TUF: Number one pick Krzystof Soszynski forced Kyle Kingsbury to tap. Jiu jitsu Vinny Magalhaes submitted Jules Bruchez with a masterful maneuver. Up next the two Mir teammates will clash in the semis. The winner will face Ryan Bader in the finale. And then it’s the fight everyone has been waiting for. Efrain Escudero versus Junie Browning. After Efrain beat Shane Nelson, Junie jumped the cage and threw down the gauntlet. But Junie’s lacklustre victory over Roli Delgado did not impress Efrain. The two are set to face off but will Junie throw in the towel before he ever sets in the cage? Up next the semifinals are finally here. Who will become the ultimate fighter?

– Last time I get to see this ruddy intro for a while. My fingers are tapping the keys in rhythm to the song.

– Fight day. Krzystof is shooting hoops alone. He is fighting a teammate not only on the show but from the same camp. Striker versus grappler. Neither are afraid.

KRZYSTOF SOSZYNSKI / TEMECULA, CALIFORNIA / 16-8-1 / (MIKE STEWART, KYLE KINGSBURY)
VINNY MAGALHAES / TEMECULA, CALIFORNIA / 2-2 / (JULES BRUCHEZ, LANCE EVANS)

– Steve Mazzagatti is thereferee. They touch gloves. Krzystof has the unorthodox stance. Deals a right leg kick. Krzystof tries to come in but misses. Vinny runs into Steve. Vinny throws a headkick but is blocked. Krzystof is circling and closing in. Reminiscent of Chuck Liddell. Muay Thai clinch. But Vinny hops up and takes Krzystof to the ground. Major vulnerability to the oma plata. Krzystof shakes out of the super tight choke. He lets Vinny up. Steve orders him up. Krzystof closes in on Vinny and circles his right fist. Straight left that Vinny backs away from. Vinny lands a leg kick. Krzystof lands a couple leg kicks. Two more. And another. Vinny ain’t blockin’ nothin’. And another. Vinny barely lands a punch and a leg kick. Krzystof lands leg kicks of his own. And some more. Vinny comes in with a gut punch and both are slipping all over the place as they punch and kick each other. Vinny keeps falling to the ground hoping to bring Krzystof with him. The technique fails twice but on the third attempt Krzystof is brought down. It is airtight. Legs and arms are trapped. Krzystof has barely enough room to tap as his right arm is ready to break.

– Dana said both came up with the perfect game plan in the fight replay. Krzystof is disappointed but he will move on. He will practice his jiu jitsu some more. Dana congratulates Krzystof. Vinny and Bader square off in the octagon. Big Nog hopes to have one more guy in the finals (Efrain).

– Team Mir training session. Junie just wants to keep focused. He feels like he has gotten worse since he’s been here because of how little he has been able to spar and train. He curses and says he doesn’t even want to fight. He tells Mir he doesn’t want to fight. He asks if Shane can fight for him. Mir won’t argue anybody into being a fighter.

– Mir informs his assistant coach and Krzystof about it. He is pissed off about the situation. The assistant coach refuses to encourage Junie to stay in the fight. Mir thinks Junie is extremely talented but needs another year if he wants to be there mentally. Mir concludes Junie isn’t ready for it.

– House time. The are outside on the porch on the couches. They discuss some of the possible match-ups. Junie doesn’t care if he wins and will be the most successful out of anyone regardless if he wins the show or not. Primm doesn’t like his own team being trash talked as well as Big Nog so Primm speaks up for them and defends them.

JUNIE: Trust me I will be the most successful fighter in the house f— f—ing f— curse curse.
PRIMM: Remember what I said at the beginning. I’m from the Show Me State. You don’t gotta tell me. Just show me.
(JUNIE throws a glass cup at Primm’s head. It shatters against the wall. JUNIE is right in Primm’s face and throws some strikes. PRIMM gets up and pulls his fighting stance. JUNIE throws a couple punches.)
JUNIE: I’m tired of your s—.
PRIMM: Come here. Talk to me like a man. I wasn’t being a b—-. I was just talking to you.
JUNIE: I f—ed up. Big time.

– So after Junie’s random outburst everyone is certain Shane Nelson will fight. We see an instant replay of the glass shattering against Primm’s knee. Dana White shows up that very night. He signals Junie over and they talk alone (with cameramen) in the basement.

DANA: So what’s f—ing wrong with you? I can’t figure out if you’re retarded, bipolar, or one of these dudes who is afraid of failing? Why did you ask Mir not to fight today?
JUNIE: I was just pissed. This place is a f—ing lot of pressure big time. Being here from Kentucky f—ing f—.

– They chat. Junie hates the house and says he has never done anything like this in real life. Although his Wikipedia page tells a different story. Dana reminds him throwing a glass at somebody in real life would throw you in jail. He asks Junie what he should do. Dana reminds Junie that he could have kicked him off the show three times already.

DANA: Reality stars are idiots. Yeah. So you’re wrong. You’re a great reality star. The question is are you a f—ing great fighter? So what are you? I don’t know what to do here. I can’t reward a guy who reacts the way you f—ing act. I’m gonna go upstairs and talk to the guys to see what they think.

– Dana explains to us that he is doing this for the first time ever in the series. He wants the other guys to decide so it’s not like Junie is shown to be Dana’s long lost cousin and exposing unbelievable favouritism compared to how fighters have been kicked out in previous seasons. He has a feeling they will let Junie stay just so someone like Efrain can beat him up.

– The fifteen fighters are with Dana on the porch.

DANA: So here’s the situation. This guy could have been kicked off the show a f—ing long time ago. This kid is a f—ing nutjob. He is a fruit loop. Here’s my one problem–here’s why I’m talking to you right now. He wants me to kick him off the show. It’s the easy way out. It’s the easy way out. He is afraid to f—ing lose on national television and what he can do is go home and say “I would’ve won that f—ing show but they f—ing kicked me off because I was the baddest mothaf—a there and this and that”. So you guys f—ing tell me. I’m f—ing sure you want to beat his a–, right? This ain’t f—ing Survivor and s—. You beat him off.
.
.
.
DANA: That didn’t sound good did it?

(All fighters break out in loud laughter.)

DANA: So you tell me? That’s the deal? He’s in. Deal guys? Okay.

– Dana returns to the basement. He informs Junie of the verdict. He tells him he will fight and to get his f—ing act together. Dana hopes justice will be served the right way and that Junie will grow up a bit. This is the point when you find out if a guy is really tough. Junie thanks Dana for allowing him to stay.

– After this mess it’s fight day. Junie says if he doesn’t win that he won’t fight anymore and doesn’t deserve to be in the UFC. Wow. Back to the same ol Junie by morning. He promises he can beat Junie up. Efrain knows he ain’t no Delgado and is looking forward to hurting Junie.

JUNIE BROWNING / LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY / 2-0 / (JOSE AGUILAR, ROLI DELGADO)
EFRAIN ESCUDERO / SOMERTON, ARIZONA / 10-0 / (IDO PARIENTE, SHANE NELSON)

– Junie sits down in the octagon prior to the fight. Mazzagatti is our referee. They touch gloves. Junie bend sover and stretches. Then they close the distance on each other and dance. Both fire leg kicks. Lots of taunting.  Efrain misses a leg kick. Both trade leg kicks. Hands up by both fighters. They exchange jabs. Efrain fires back-to-back leg kicks. Junie throws an overhand but Efrain ducks and takes Junie down. Efrain punches Junie in the head before Junie scrambles and they are back on their feet. Both are moving at a fast pace striking. Efrain lands a punch on the chin. Junie goes underneath but Efrain body locks Junie. Efrain is against the cage. Efrain dishes out elbows to the head. Several. Junie still has a leg. They work their way to a hug position. Junie goes underneath but Efrain has a guillotine. Junie gets his head out as the body lock continues against the cage. Efrain and Junie both fire out knees to the belly. They break voluntarily and are back at the centre. Junie looks drained. Leg kick then head kick by Junie. Efrain misses a straight left. Front kick by Efrain. And a leg kick. Both miss counters. Junie misses an overhand. Light leg kicks and dance by Junie. Looping leg kick misses. Junie stretches his arms before progressing. Head kick by Junie. Junie lands a jab. So does Efrain. Junie lands a leg kick. Junie is staggering as he dances. Junie leg kicks. More dancing by both fighters. Leg kick by Efrain. Junie lands a jab and a leg kick. Another leg kick. Misses a gut punch. Efrain waves Junie on to strike some more. End of round after a quick flurry by Junie.

– They touch glvoes. Efrain delivers quick elbows. Junie lands jabs. Spinning back fist fails to connect by Junie. Efrain leg kicks. Both strike each other. Junie shoots but Efrain elbows from the top. Junie has Efrain against the cage for two seconds before Efrain runs away back to the centre. Junie jabs and punches. So does Efrain. They aren’t landing anything solid. Leg kick by Junie. Junie lands a big punch on the chin. Both exchange some more strikes. Junie misses a combo. Junie is breathing with his mouth wide open. Efrain dances around in a Rashad Evans manner. Probably picked that up from defeating his brother Lance in the opener. They tangle and Efrain crashes on top of Junie on the mat. Strange guard by Junie. Half guard. Efrain elbows the kidney. Efrain is working for a darth choke. He just needs to switch his legs out of the guard and onto the side. Elbows to the calf by Efrain. Efrain elbows the kidney some more. Junie’s arms are nearly flat but is working to get up.Efrain slaps on a choke from side control. Junie taps. Efrain does a celebratory backflip. End of fight.

– Efrain is picked up by Big Nog. Junie runs away into the locker room and slams the door hard.

– Call of Duty fight replay. Dana thought Junie sitting in the corner was unusual. Efrain heard from Junie that he is a one-dimensional fighter so Efrain wanted to prove he could do the stand-up fight. Mir says after about a minute that Junie refused to listen anything he or the other fighters on his team would say. Mir gave up and sat down. If you won’t listen to Mir’s corner then he will sit down and enjoy the show. He won’t be your cheerleader.

– Mir knows Junie could have gotten out of that choke. It would have been easy. So he let his head get sucked down and tap out. Mir said a part of him enjoyed watching Junie tap out. Dana said justice was served because Efrain got to beat up Junie on national television as opposed to disqualifying Junie.

– Efrain’s hand is raised. Dana Whit applauds the performance. Bader and Nogueira toss up Escudero into the air.

JUNIE: Efrain’s not as good as what I thought. But also I’m not as good as what I thought. I’m in the wrong sport completely.

Half humble? Maybe we’re getting somewhere with Junie.

ASSISTANT COACH: Junie where were the three strikes man?
JUNIE: I couldn’t do nothing. If I was back at home training I would have–
ASSISTANT COACH: Stop that s—. All you had to do was listen to us.
JUNIE: I can’t breathe. I have no endurance whatsoever. I couldn’t throw any punches.
ASSISTANT COACH: What did we tell you to do? Go in there and fight. If you would have thrown those three punches bro you would have knocked him the f— out. You landed one clean one. You didn’t follow up with a third.
JUNIE: It wouldn’t have worked.
ASSISTANT COACH: F— you dude. There’s nothing in you bro. There’s been nothing to say to your white a–.
JUNIE: I’m done. This was my last fight. If I can’t beat him I can’t beat nobody. A waste of three years. I need to make some money somehow. Fighting ain’t gonna be the way to do it.

– Dana sits alone in the octagon. He tells us that if Nog’s guys beat Mir’s guys in the finals that Mir agreed to let his head shaved by Big Nog. So Dana and the fighters watch Big Nog shave Frank Mir’s hair.

DANA: You looked like a supermodel about five minutes ago.

MIR: There’s nobody on my team I don’t like except for Junie. But I won’t go there. Junie was just a disappointment.

– Junie enters the locker room silently and instantly Mir gets up to leave the room.

JUNIE: I’m fighting again. Of course I know you wanted me gone, but it’s too bad.

Jesus. Make up your f—ing mind.

Next time on TUF: The big show. The live finale. Ryan Bader against Vinny Magalhaes. Wrestler versus Jiu Jitsu expert. Wrestling phenom Efrain Escudero goes against the world’s toughest nurse.

Confessional count

TEAM MIR

LIGHTWEIGHT

DAVE KAPLAN 0
GEORGE ROOP 0
JUNIE BROWNING 12
SHANE NELSON 0

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

ELIOT MARSHALL 0
KRZYSTOF SOSZYNSKI 5
TOM LAWLOR 0
VINNY MAGALHAES 4

TEAM NOGUEIRA

LIGHTWEIGHT

EFRAIN ESCUDERO 8
JOHN POLAKOWSI 0
PHILIPE NOVER 0
ROLI DELGADO 1

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

JULES BRUCHEZ 0
KYLE KINGSBURY 0
RYAN BADER 0
SHANE PRIMM 2

Rank the Fights

1) Ryan Bader vs. Tom Lawlor (Excellent control of all aspects by Bader. To top it all off he managed to knock a guy out from half guard. I applaud your work, Bader.)

2) Efrain Escudero vs. Shane Nelson (A triangle choke from full mount??? Is that even possible? A very good technical match in the latter half of the fight. Junie Browning’s WWF-like entrance following the match only boosts its honourable (or dishonourable) finish to the episode.)

3) Wesley Murch vs. John Polakowsi (These guys fought hard. Great battle. Wesley continues to fight on a knee worse than the broken leg that Olaf tried to fight with in match #2 with John Polakowsi. Wesley was completely out of his mind to attempt a flying knee with his hurt leg. Best match in the round of 32.)

4) Efrain Escudero vs. Junie Browning (This fight was hyped pretty much from the moment Efrain was fighting in the prelims. Junie followed through with not following through with the game plan. He was on a path to win this fight until he implemented his bizarre strategy of going to the ground with Efrain. Typically anyone who abandons their game plan is a ground specialist who wants to prove they are a ‘real fighter’ and can strike like Andy Wang or Dave Kaplan. Efrain takes Junie to the ground and suffocates him with ease. The storyline of the fight was great.

5) Mike Stewart vs. Krzystof Soszinski (A memorable fight in the round of 32. I never thought a guy could defend in such a terrible manner on their feet. Krzystof punched through Mike’s barrier which resulted in one of the strangest stoppages I have seen. I didn’t know a guy covering up on his feet could lead to a referee ending the fight.)

6) Dave Kaplan vs. Phillipe Nover (Phillipe may have put on the slickest minute of striking and maneuvering into full mount that has been witnessed on the show in a really long time.)

7) George Roop vs. Phillipe Nover (Read above.)

8) George Roop vs. John Polakowski (The biggest striking war that is seen from any of the preliminary fights all season. John refused to go to the ground while George refrained from using his right hand until the second round. It makes for a very unorthodox fight.)

9) Junie Browning vs. Jose Aguilar (What a beatdown by Junie. Jose ain’t stand a chance, naw what I mean?)

10) Krzystof Soszynski vs. Vinny Magalhaes (I love me some quality striking. and strong resistance to the ground game. Unfortunately the fight doesn’t last for too long because my word Vinny’s ground game is unbelievable when you take in account the amateur nature of TUF.)

11) Ido Pariente vs. Efrain Escudero (Great reversals by Efrain to accomplish his game plan.)

12) Shane Primm vs. Sean O’ Connell (Great coaching and one of the neatest moves I have seen makes it one of the best Round of 32 fights.)

13) Eliot Marshall vs. Shane Primm (Why not?)

14) Krzystof Soszynski vs. Kyle Kingsbury (A guy who lost easily once ends up losing easily again? Who saw that coming?)

15) Dave Kaplan vs. Fernando Bernstein (

There was some flying knees in the air that fight
The kicks and strikes
Then choke Fernandooooo.)

16) Joe Duarte vs. Phillipe Nover (An unfortunate groin strike but the fact Phillipe was able to cause major damage while his back was taken is rather impressive.)

17) Eric MaGee vs. Jules Bruchez (Eric’s ground game sucks. Nothing much else to comment on this pre-house fight.)

18) Ryan Lopez vs. Tom Lawlor (This is ‘Rank the Fights’. How can this be classified as a fight?)

19) Vinny Magalhaes vs. Jules Bruchez (Nothing to report on this fight.)

20) Eliot Marshall vs. Ryan Bader (TUF 2 heavyweight flashbacks.)

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