TAR 7 episode 3 ranking

Third episode

Previously on TAR: Teams flew from Cusco, Peru one thousand miles to Santiago, Chile. Debbie & Bianca confronted Romber about lying. Romber fought back by bribing the bus driver to not open the back door and delaying teams at the back of the bus. Now they know how Rosa Parks felt. On the detour Gretchen yelled at the detour as she realized they were light on cash. While Lynn & Alex’s fish was simply too light. When they confronted the merchant they were met with a defiant mob. Romber were first to arrive. In the end it was a foot race with Brian & Greg barely beating out their allies. Now nine teams remain. Who will be eliminated next? The answer of course is Meredith & Maria.

Yeah, maybe it wasn’t so funny. I take it back. Just as long as you erase those dark shadows under your eyes. My goodness.

– We are introduced to Santiago. The capital. Nestled in the Andian foothills. Nestled? That’s a new word for Phil to use. Teams arrived here at the end of the next leg. They have no idea where they’re going except it has to be a country that approved them of a VISA prior to the start of the race. After moving up in the pack can Uchenna & Joyce maintain their newfound momentum? Really? An eighth place and fourth place finisher is a star team worthy of a question at this point? And after falling behind will Susan & Patrick be able to move to the front of the pack once again?

I think this is the first time that neither first place nor last place is mentioned in Phil’s question period. Particularly when reality TV superstars Romber are first and fan favs Brian & Greg are in last.

– Romber, who arrived first (time not specified) will depart at 1234am. That’s the combination of my luggage! Drive through the Andes Mountains 150 miles to the Puente Viejo bridge in Argentina. Caution: Yield Ahead. Rob says they have taken plenty of chances so far and have had good luck. But you can’t have good luck if you don’t take chances. Rob believes that defines the American dream. Chances in TAR early on are silly considering taking zero chances ensures you are not last while taking a chance either makes you or breaks you. Wait until the last few rounds before you start pulling sneaky manoeuvres.

– Rob found a guide who will take them to the car park where the marked cars await. Ron & Kelly depart at 122am. Ron is not ready to have kids yet unlike Kelly who is more than ready. I s’pose there’s not much else in life to do after you give up your Ms. South Carolina title. 217am for Ray & Deana. Holy cow Romber did the detour really fast.

DEANA: You’re always ignoring me. I’m sick of it.
RAY: Start asserting yourself. She wants me to usher her through every situation. I think she needs to step it up and do it herself. We just don’t need to make any dumb mistakes.

We are then shown an extremely awkward pause in the cab. Ray looks at Deana who is searching the windows to see where they are going. Ray then turns this head. I am dumbfounded why there is this solid five (I counted it) second pause where absolutely nothing is going on. Rookie editing, perhaps?

– Super awkward pause for the viewer is over as Uchenna & Joyce exit at 316am. Dang. One hour gap between each of the first four teams. Detour was much tougher than I gave it credit for. Uchenna says they have had a tumultuous relationship prior to the race thanks to vitro but so far they have reconnected and are doing fine. Lynn & Alex are next a few minutes later.

LYNN: Alex and I want to win and beat Rob and Amber. We just don’t really like them.

Ten bucks says it was the only time a team discussed Romber in their pit stop interviews. Production doesn’t care if you talk about Susan, Patrick, Ray, Deana, Uchenna, Joyce, Brian, Greg, Meredith, Gretchen, Ron, Kelly, Debbie, Bianca, Lynn, or Alex.

– If there’s a yield at the first route marker then there must not be any equalizers. Which means this will be a long day with a huge variance in teams arriving at the pit stop. Debbie & Bianca leave the pit stop. They have been friends since they were six years old and are getting stronger and stronger. Their sheer determination will get them through the race.

– Meredith & Gretchen depart at 324am. Oddly enough it’s the same time they wake up each morning. Gretchen goes on about her emotions.

GRETCHEN: I verbalize my emotions. I have a hard time keeping things to myself. Meredith understands me now and I love him to death. And I make it up to him in a lot of other ways.

Thank god the confessional stops there. Remind me to never subscribe to the unrated episodes of TAR.

– Susan & Patrick commence their journey at 335am. Oddly enough it is seven hours after Patrick’s bed time. Susan wishes that Patrick could have a boyfriend in his life because he needs one. In other words, your mom wants you out of the house ASAP so she doesn’t have to entertain you anymore. Patrick thinks that her mom wants somebody to keep track of him in the same way that she does.

– BRIAN: Starting in last place on The Amazing Race: 6’3″, 6’4″, Smith Brothers!

Greg gets the short end of the stick as he has to make the stadium sound effects. Much cheaper than million dollar speakers and hiring tens of thousands of people to act like spectators. It’s like Brian & Greg are announcing themselves like the Harlem Globetrotters. Luckily there is absolutely no way that we have to worry about the Harlem Globetrotters being on The Amazing Race.

– BRIAN: Greg and I had a taste of what last place might taste like.

Yesterday I had a taste of a small piece of pie to give me a taste of what pie might taste like.

BRIAN: Where are we going?
GREG: Says to drive ourselves to Argentina.
BRIAN: . . .Argentina?. . . . . . .

This clocks in almost as long as the Ray & Deana pause. Were the editors asleep this episode or did they really have this little material to show?

– Romber find the car park. It does not open until five o’ clock in the morning. ‘Tis an equalizer. Ray tries to break in until Deana sees the sign. Her and Ray sleep on the bench. Debbie & Bianca are going to the hotel to ask for directions to the route marker but their cab will wait for them. All of the other teams see the hours of operation sign. Debbie & Bianca get to the hotel. They ask for directions and a map of Santiago. Romber wakes up and sneaks past them.

– They see Debbie & Bianca’s cab outside. Despite everyone having plenty of time to be there by five Rob makes an unnecessary enemy out of someone who has already made several unnecessary enemies.

The cabbie seems like he’ll be hard to budge.

Hmmm. Reasonable fare. Just wait for another cab and pay four because everyone will be at the car park no matter what.

Can the cabbie resist being a very rich man for such a short drive. And where is Rob getting the money to pay off security guards, cabs, and a hotel room? There’s only been around five hundred dollars given out so far.

10 > 4.

– Debbie & Bianca do not know who stole their cab and are at the hotel and simply called another one. No confrontation between Rob and Debbie & Bianca. Five o’ clock arrives as the nine teams bust out of the garage in their SUVs. Rob flags down a police car and asks if he will escort them out of Santiago towards Argentina. As opposed to Freddy saying it was an emergency, Rob simply makes a request when a police officer is bored at five o’ clock.

– Romber enter Norte which is supposedly the exit. Meredith, Lynn, Brian, Ron, and Uchenna all go through Norte. Susan pulls over at the gas station and lets Patrick ask for directions. We see Debbie & Bianca drive past Patrick. Debbie finds Norte.

– Rob, Lynn, Meredith, Brian, Ron, Uchenna, and Deana get off at Portello. Debbie & Bianca drive through the Portello exit and drive through a toll booth.

BIANCA: Debbie, I think we missed some sort of an exit.
DEBBIE: I think we’re okay. We’re just freaking out.

I think seven cars driving on Portello and one driving Norte may be a reason to pause for concern. Plus I love how casual Bianca is that they might have missed an exit. Like missing an exit is no big deal when there is a yield ahead and you know you would have to backtrack several hours if you miss it.

– The sun rises on the Andes.

Those roads look like they are straight out of a video game. I think a twelve year old Argentine boy chose the ‘Custom Road’ option and told his dad to build it for him in real life.

– Amber is concerned she would be yielded and has a feeling other teams are gunning for her. Lynn & Alex agree that several teams have made the deal that they would yield Romber the first chance they get.

– Romber drives through the Argentine border. Meredith simultaneously contends with Gretchen’s worry over how fast he is driving and keeping his eyes on the zig zag road. Awe. How cute they are. Patrick announces it is 649am and that they have been stuck inside Santiago for an hour and forty minutes. Math may or may not be his forte. Patrick wants his mom to turn left but it is a ‘no left’ turn. They drive straight and find themselves back at where they started. They see ‘Norte’ finally. Dead last.

– Debbie & Bianca have yet to enter the border. They are at another toll booth.

BIANCA: Miss, are we going toward Puente Viejo?
LADY: Puente Viejo??????????????????????????? …….
BIANCA: They’re all stupid. Not that we’re doing much better with directions.

– Everyone admires how beautiful the mountains are. Kelly says that when she pictures Heaven this is what she thinks of. Romber find Puente Viejo. Before they hit the Yield mat Phil jumps in to explain the Yield. There are indeed only three yields this season to make it random and unfair. Romber chooses not to yield.

– Detour time. Paddle or Pedal. In paddle, teams take an inflatable raft and work with professionals to complete a seven mile course down the river. The current will propel them forward. In pedal, teams will choose two bikes to navigate a seven mile rocky course along the train tracks. Lynn & Alex refuse to yield because it is too early in the game. So they wouldn’t have even yielded Romber. Thanks for that trick editors. Romber and Lynn & Alex are both paddling. Brian & Greg pass Meredith & Gretchen who are supposedly going eight kilometres per hour. Brian & Greg choose bikes. They comment on the wind. Meredith & Gretchen opt to paddle.

ALEX: I am so sick of hearing that Rob & Amber are ahead of us. I was so exhausted but Lynn insisted we need to beat the survivors.

Sure enough Lynn & Alex pass and beat the survivors in a paddle race. Their bucket list is complete. They recall there is a million dollar race going on and grab the clue. They are instructed to drive seventy miles to the outskirts of Mendoza and find Camping Suizo. Phil tells us there is a barbeque going on there. What an unusual explanation. This random BBQ is where the next clue awaits.

Caution: BYOB.

– Amber gives an extended confessional about burning fat. She is the most boring confessionalist ever in the history of reality TV. Ron & Kelly raft along with Ray & Deana and Uchenna & Joyce. Brian & Greg are the only ones biking. Susan & Patrick are on the zig zag road. Their ears are popping.

– BIANCA: Wow look at the ocean.
DEBBIE: Wow. Hmmmm. The key to the clue was to drive through the Andes Mountains. It’s absolutely gorgeous but we’ve got major problems.
BIANCA: Are you serious?

Bianca does have a point. The ocean and the Andes? Big diff. There is only an elevation difference of about eight thousand feet.

– Debbie & Bianca stop and ask. The lady informs them that Puente Viejo is several hours in a different direction. In fact they are so far off that where they are is off the map that they bought at the hotel. If only they interpreted the woman at the toll booth being mystified as a sign that they were nowhere close.

Should’ve had a V8 so she could read maps better.

– By the way, how do you think Debbie was reading the map throughout the drive if they were not located on the map at all? You could not be more oblivious. Shockingly enough Debbie is the person driving now because of how much she screwed with directions. They find out they should have stayed on Norte for ten minutes as opposed to two hours.

– Brian & Greg suffer a flat tire. Who knew that would occur on a rocky trail. Greg pumps the tire with air and patches it as they see Meredith & Gretchen paddle past them. Ron & Kelly too. Ron & Kelly outruns Meredith & Gretchen back to the car. Brian & Greg are forced to carry their bikes because there is not enough time to patch it. Uchenna & Joyce defeat Ray & Deana in the paddling race. Brian & Greg finish their walk. Ray & Deana close out the main pack of seven teams as they wonder how they were last out of the main pack.

RAY: I don’t know how Uchenna blew us out of the water. I work out all the time. They must have had Olympic rowers.

In Ray’s defense there is a very long history of African Americans failing miserably at any water related tasks on reality television. Ray, probably knowing this history, refuses to accept the embarrassment of defeat and instead cops out by saying that Olympic rowers must have been on Uchenna’s team to “level the playing field”.

– Susan & Patrick choose not to yield anybody. Really? They know they are in eighth place. It’s do or die situation for them yet they choose not to yield? Nine times out of then this would backfire. So they merrily paddle down the stream.

– Lynn & Alex are first to Camping Suizo.

LYNN (sing song voice): There’s a flaaaaaag. There’s a flaaaaaaag.

Remove one letter from the above and you have a rather offensive (but also true) statement as well.

LYNN: Roadblock–Who is not a vegetarian?

I’m loving this already.

– Phil informs us that the person has to eat a traditional Argentine meal.

Traditional Argentine Meal: Cow rib, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestine, cow utter, an entire kidney, and part of a cow’s saliva gland.

I call BS on it being “traditional”. If everyone ate that on a regular basis in Argentina then all citizens of Argentina should be bigger than Ryan & Chuck accompanied by a low life expectancy. Marshall would look like a gazelle in contrast to someone with that diet. I could understand if it’s a traditional Gaucho meal considering they have their own blood line for the past several centuries and have adapted to eating 90% meat, but to say it is traditional for all Argentines is ridiculous.

Each portion of food weighs FOUR pounds. Four pounds of meat. Red meat. No team has been yielded this leg but I have a feeling each person’s digestive tract will have to yield for twenty days before it can continue digestion. Let’s pray their heart doesn’t yield either.

Blogger’s Note: I have been a vegetarian for well over two years. There is a zero percent chance I could do this task.

Please excuse me while I vomit.

– Lynn says it is just like cake. Romber arrives. Rob is doing the task.

LYNN: If you can’t do it Alex just barf it up. Then you’ll have more room.
ALEX: The last thing you want to hear in an eating challenge is ‘Barf it up’.

Rob listens in and does not want to hear ‘barf it up’ either. His memories from events three years earlier are revived.

Come back to me, Fafaru.

No longer has the appetite to finish this challenge. Needs a plan.

– Susan & Patrick complete detour. Patrick complains that his stomach is sore. Hopefully they recover before the end of a seventy mile drive. Debbie & Bianca find the bridge. Debbie says she nearly died in a whitewater rafting experience two months earlier. She should have nothing to fear because reality TV does not let you die. Debbie hesitates but finally agrees to do it. Ron & Kelly go inside a building to ask for directions. The four teams got into the city at once and are separating. Amber asks how it tastes. Rob refuses to talk about it.

– Meredith & Gretchen and Brian & Greg both find Camping Suizo. Meredith and Brian are volunteering for it. Brian is ecstatic while Meredith is not excited. Ron is eating the meat. Rob stops and insists he will not be able to eat it all. Uchenna is next. Rob is groaning. He says the brain and intestine are the worst and makes disgusting noises. Ron loves the taste. Brian mocks that when he makes brains at home that they are so tender and juicy. We are shown flies hovering all over the plates.

Uchenna’s reaction to Alex vomiting is priceless. He is not even disgusted. Uchenna laughs, cheers, and jokes about the vomit that likely has remnants of it on his left shoe. Are there race rules about vomiting on other players’ shoes? Amber says for Rob to turn his back to Alex. Rob puts his plate down and stands up to talk with Amber.

ROB: What happens if I can’t finish?
AMBER: What happens if you can’t? Penalty.
ROB: I have to come up with a plan and it had to be quick. I’m not gonna sit here and suffer for another three hours like these people are. I didn’t want to eat it but I still wanted to stay in the race. When you quit a task on The Amazing Race you have only one choice: A four hour penalty from the time the next team arrives at the task.

And so Rob does indeed quit. The Rob haters at home celebrate. YES! He quit! He couldn’t eat four measly pounds of meat. Four hours after the next team arrives will surely put him out of the race.

– And what is it with leg three roadblocks becoming increasingly impossible?

TAR 5 leg 3 roadblock: Search for a white chocolate centre amongst a line of ten thousand chocolates. Took hours for Marshall.
TAR 6 leg 3 roadblock: Lena rolls over 100 hay bales for over eight hours before Phil says it’s pointless.
TAR 7 leg 3 roadblock: Eat four pounds of red meat.

Meanwhile in the earlier seasons you jumped off a tower, drank a glass of a herbal drink, played in the Olympic games, or shopped for random crap. The theme of the show is to stop those tower jumps and instead go for the difficult or perhaps even impossible for some people.

So Rob clearly did his research. If a roadblock comes up where teams are bound to waste five or six hours at it, instead of rolling another thirty hay bales why not just take the four hour penalty immediately and hope for the best? Do not make the same mistake Lena made. Nobody wishes to repeat that.

– Ray & Deana are at the roadblock. Ray says it’s all Deana because they can’t waste another roadblock for Ray.

DEANA: I can’t eat all of this. My stomach is not big enough to fit all of this.
RAY: We made a big mistake.

At least we don’t have the awkward pause this time when Ray talks about mistakes. It’s funny they catch on that they eff up in about .2 seconds. Romber are less than four minutes into the penalty when they discuss convincing Deana to quit.

– Rob goes over to tell Ray that Deana needs to quit because he quit already. She agrees and gives the food back. Rob is excited because he is now guaranteed to not be eliminated. Here is my issue with Rob bragging about the plan:

He didn’t need to convince Deana to quit. It was clear she would do that on her own. Four pounds of red meat is four pounds of red meat. What would be smarter is if say another team arrived THEN you persuade Deana to quit after she has struggled for thirty to forty minutes. Although the issue there is that she would be up to her knees and may be remotely motivated to finish. But c’mon. With or without Rob’s presence Deana would have quit. Lynn asks why Rob would quit and give up his lead. Rob uses it as a theatre to say the task can’t be done.

– The quietest of all nine teams this leg has been Ron & Kelly. By far. All other teams have three or more confessionals and plenty of lines. Meanwhile Ron & Kelly had the lone confessional about Ron not being ready to have kids yet. So what is the first thing Ron says thirty minutes later in the episode?

RON: Well today is probably the worst eating experience that I’ve had in my entire life, and mind you I lost twenty-five pounds in about eighteen days in an Iraqi prison.

I don’t know if being in an Iraqi prison is really an “eating” experience. I think the word you’re looking for is “fasting”.

Military Ron Count: 3

Hi, my name is POW and I am a former Ron.

– RON: And that’s not to say the Iraqi food wasn’t worse but I didn’t have to eat four pounds of it.

Military Ron Count: 3.5

– The gauchos laugh at Uchenna, Brian, and Meredith who all prepare to vomit. Ray and Deana try to convince Gretchen to convince Meredith. Meredith is hesitant given that no other team may quit and they’d be racing Ray & Deana and Romber to the pit stop. You can’t wait too long now because the minute Susan & Patrick arrive you may be toast.  Meredith knows it will take him a couple more hours and quits. Uchenna is screaming and yelling then finishes. Everyone cheers and claps as he raises his arms in victory.

Uchenna.

Ms. Trunchbull wouldn’t let him take the four penalty either.

– Uchenna & Joyce receive the clue. Drive yourselves eight miles to Estancia San Isidro. This traditional Argentine ranch is the pit stop for this leg of the race.

JOYCE: Do you want a mint?

– Lynn & Alex are next to finish. Alex believes Uchenna will get lost. Uchenna & Joyce follow a truck driver who knows where to go but is going in the wrong direction. Uchenna & Joyce making a left instead of going straight lets Lynn & Alex hit the mat first. Alex smacks down the clue. They mime the paddling at the pit stop.

LYNN: We passed Amber and Rob.
ALEX: We passed Rob and Amber.
PHIL: It must have felt good passing those guys.

They randomly mime the paddling for Phil.

Can. . .Can you just talk about Rob and Amber some more, guys?

LYNN: Part of the sweetness for Alex and I is that we beat Amber and Rob.

. . .Anything to say about the other seven teams you beat?

– Uchenna & Joyce are the most pissed off I have seen a team arrive in second place. Both refrain from cursing at the mat amazingly enough.

– Susan is snacking on a granola bar as she drives.

SUSAN: This is lunch and dinner? It’s very good Patrick, thank you.
PATRICK: We’ll find some cheap meal in Mendoza.
SUSAN: Mmmm. This tastes like a steak.

Heh. Foreshadowing. Good one, editors.

– A guy gets on his guitar and serenades the two remaining teams eating. Brian finishes then Ron. Patrick passes by Brian & Greg and Ron & Kelly who exit. Gretchen welcomes Patrick. Hers and Ray’s clock begins counting down. Romber’s clock has 2:39:00 remaining. So Susan & Patrick were eighty minutes behind Ray & Deana. Patrick is already making faces. Debbie & Bianca finish detour and are about two hours behind them. Brian & Greg and Ron & Kelly walk into the mat together but there is an awkward cutaway to Brian & Greg being third thanks to the ‘no ties’ rule.

– Patrick keeps talking negatively about the food and wants to quit. Susan tells him to eat his eggs and won’t get any dessert until he’s done. Susan is ordering Patrick to vomit. Patrick threatens to quit just to spite her. He just sits there and rolls his eyes. He keeps rolling his eyes. Debbie & Bianca get to the roadblock. Debbie celebrates knowing there’s food involved. She undoes her pants. Rob knows Debbie will do it.

– Romber receives the clue and are at the mat in two seconds. They’re team number five with a smile on their face.

PHIL: I don’t know why I’m laughing so much but you’re team number five.
ROB: I didn’t think I could do it but I found a way to plot and scheme on The Amazing Race.

Plenty of teams have schemed on TAR. And if ‘scheming’ means convince people to quit a task they were going to quit in the first place, then yes, kudos to you.

Phil says three teams quitting a roadblock was unprecedented.

– Patrick vomits as Debbie covers her ears while he finishes up. Meredith & Gretchen and Ray & Deana’s four hours expires. Ray & Deana are at the pit stop in two seconds. Meredith & Gretchen are momentarily lost before getting to the pit stop. Gretchen does another one of her ‘OOOOOOs’ when she hears they are seventh.

– Bianca tells Debbie that her and Patrick have the same amount of food left. Debbie seems to slow down as Patrick finishes despite initially agreeing to take the four hour penalty. Susan said that if he didn’t quit they would have been down hours ago. Patrick believes he needed the pressure. Debbie finishes. Susan took a wrong turn. It’s a road race. Susan & Patrick win the road race. They are eighth. Both giggle upon hearing the news and claim Debbie was only a few bites away from finishing.

– Debbie is exhausted when she hits the mat. Phil tells them they are last and are indeed eliminated.

PHIL: When you guys came in first place on the first leg I was confident you’d be one of the three teams racing at the end.

Way to rub salt in the wounds, Phil.

DEBBIE: It wasn’t just about me and Bianca winning. It was about an all-female team winning the race and evening out the playing field.

And that ideology is where your mistakes lie. The pressures of classifying yourself as being something that in your mind is branded as being inferior on TAR could have easily got to your head. If you just ran your own race you wouldn’t have this lingering distraction in your mind.

They go on to talk about how strong each other is and that they’ll love each other forever.

Next time on TAR: Rob & Amber attempt an aggressive move. Joyce takes a wild ride while Deana breaks down. Overall weak preview but okay.

I’m still recovering from Megan & Heidi being split from Brian & Greg, by the way. Another Kleenex has been sobbed into.

Susan & Patrick 2.4
Ray & Deana 3.1
Romber 11.2
Uchenna & Joyce 3.2
Debbie & Bianca 4.6
Brian & Greg 4.2
Lynn & Alex 3.2
Meredith & Gretchen 2.6
Ron & Kelly 2.0

Team averages

12th Debra & Steve 12.0
12th Gina & Sylvia 12.0
11th Ryan & Chuck 11.0
11th Team Seinfeld/Avi & Joe 11.0
11th Dennis & Erika 11.0
11th Deidre & Hilary 11.0
11th Matt & Ana 11.0
10th Megan & Heidi 9.5 (Wow. They sucked.)
9th Peggy & Claire 9.0
10th Meredith & Maria 9.0
10th Dennis & Andrew 9.0 FF
10th Russell & Cindy 8.33
8th Don & Mary Jean 8.2
10th Kim & Leslie 8.0
9th Jim & Marsha 7.33
8th Dave & Margaretta 7.0
9th Lena & Kristy 7.0
10th Hope & Norm 7.0
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43
7th Paul & Amie 6.2
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF
11th Amanda & Chris 6.0
6th Andre & Damon 5.86
5th Kami & Karli 5.8
8th Michael & Kathy 5.8
7th Cyndi & Russell 5.8

9th Heather & Eve 5.75
5th Nancy & Emily 5.67
10th Alison & Donny 5.5
6th Tian & Jaree 5.43 FF
7th Monica & Sheree 5.33 FF
7th Marshall & Lance 5.33
9th Debbie & Bianca 5.33
7th Gus & Hera 5.29
8th Bob & Joyce 5.25
7th Silver & Gold 5.17
9th Steve & Josh 5.0 – FF
9th Pat & Brenda 5.0 – FF
5th John Vito & Jill 4.8 – FF
3rd Adam & Rebecca 4.69 FF
5th Lori & Bolo 4.6 – FF
2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF
8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF
4th Linda & Karen 4.17
6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.)
3rd David & Jeff 4.00 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny 4.00 – FF
5th Gary & Dave 3.89 – FF
2nd Kelly & Jon 3.85
4th Jon & Al 3.73
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71
3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF
6th Jonathan & Victoria 3.56
1st Freddy & Kendra 3.46
1st Chris & Alex 3.38 – FF
1st Chip & Kim 3.38
4th Kevin & Drew 3.36 – FF
3rd Brandon & Nicole 3.31
1st Reichen & DK 3.15 – FF
4th Derek & Drew 3.10 – FF
4th Hayden & Aaron 2.92
3rd Joe & Bill 2.76 – FF
2nd Tara & Wil 2.53 – FF
1st Flo & Zach 2.69 – FF
3rd Ken & Gerard 2.69 – FF
2nd Colin & Christie 2.54 – FF
1st Rob & Brennan – 2.46 FF
2nd Frank & Margarita 2.38 – FF
2nd Kris & Jon 2.38

Rank the Teams

3) Megan & Heidi

They’re blonde. They like alpha males. Heidi drove 70 in a 50 zone. Drove on the wrong side of the road. However both of them knew how to drive a stick shift which instantly trumps previous best friends to be cast in Meredith & Maria. Their fondness of shopping cost them the race. You need to check your first world tendencies at the door when you go onto the race. I do applaud them for a couple of ‘Wtf’ quotes in two short episodes. Their failed showmance with Brian & Greg was lawlzy.

I’m still crying from them losing in a foot race to their newfound loves. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

2) Ryan & Chuck

Hillbillies who can speak Portuguese and are taken straight out of the Barenstein Bears books. Luckily none of them had a drinking problem like Papa Bear or anorexia like Sister Bear. I understood what they said a bit more than Tom Buchanan which is a plus. They are the heaviest racers in the show’s history if I do declare.

1) Debbie & Bianca

A team that went on and on about being an all-female team. . .but was actually interesting overall. Both were insanely competitive and worked hard with weaker teams. Bianca’s fluent Spanish propelled them to the front of the pack combined with Debbie’s guts (including the ones she just ate) made them a tough team to beat. However, an unnecessary lie to POW Ron made themselves a target from Romber’s antics. Mix in poor independent map reading and you have a strong team taking an early and disappointing exit from TAR. The Gina Crews of TAR, perhaps.

Rank the Legs

1) Santiago -> Mendoza (One equalizer at the very beginning of the leg at a reasonable time of day. Teams previously on the bottom rose to the top much like the transition of leg four in TAR 3. Unprecedented quitting of the roadblock is a highlight of the series. That’s not even considering the fact that THREE teams quit the task too. What’s even more bizarre is that all three teams weren’t even close to the danger of being eliminated. Romber stealing cabs and Debbie interpreting a map she wasn’t even on makes it a very smooth and unpredictable TAR episode. Good job in the format, production.

2) The LBC where it’s hard being Snoop D O double G -> Cusco (Only because it was the most refreshing episode to see in over a season. The TAR 6 nightmare was officially over.)

3) Cusco -> Santiago (Too few of tasks in Santiago. I wish there was perhaps one more task to even things out. Lynn arguing over a rigged scale, Gretchen ‘OOOOing’ at every little event, and a foot race where the team I was rooting for hit the mat first makes this a quality episode. Plus the irony of Debbie & Bianca being nauseous that another team lied.)

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