Logan’s Previously on TAR segment: An awesome episode occurred for the first time all season. Can TAR 6 do the unthinkable and deliver a good final leg to follow? Let’s not get our hopes up and brace ourselves for the worst. Oh, last time on TAR Adam & Rebecca got a lead because of a good cab but a government motorcade disturbance evened things out. Hayden & Aaron had -slight- problems communicating with their cab driver. And Kris & Jon were sweet to one another. Hayden broke keys and took a four hour penalty right before Rebecca accomplished the roadblock task. Three teams remain. Who will win. . .tonight?
Phil introduced how he thought the four teams made it to the Final Four. Per tradition I will now give my take why the Final Three has made it to the thirteenth and final leg:
Kris & Jon: A team that has been able to conserve much of their energy. They do not whine nor complain with locals or each other. Their only sticky situation was a cab driver who cost them an additional twenty to thirty minutes around Shanghai. The level of teamwork is above any dating couple that has set foot on the race course. A win would give them the best racing average to date.
Freddy & Kendra: Both stay relatively calm under pressure. Neither have any outstanding personality attributes that hinders their racing ability. Individuals like Hayden, Adam, Jonathan, Gus, and the imbalance of the wrestlers are big weaknesses for a team. What are Freddy & Kendra’s outstanding weaknesses? Insensitivity towards “ghetto” areas? Cultural insensitivity is not a disadvantage on the race. It just makes people not like you. An emotional-less race has been to their advantage. A win for them would be the most disappointing scenario for the audience to suffer through of all eleven teams who could have won. In fact of all eighteen teams to make it to the Final Three they would be worst case scenario there as well.
Adam & Rebecca: They may not have the brains, Adam is scared of virtually everything except planes, and if you discount the Fast Forward victory, they have not finished above third. That’s right. Finishing in third last leg was their best standing at the mat. Their ability to leech off of other teams and be athletic enough for the post-equalizer tasks for each episode has been just enough to get out of last place. A victory for them would perhaps be the most underdog win for a dating couple in their 20s. Sometimes friends who will let you follow them is enough to keep you alive. Also leg twelve was the smoothest and smartest race they have ran all season. So a win is not completely out of the question at this point.
– No intro this time because it’s the two hour finale. This is Xi’an. Straight up. A city rich in history. The imperial capital for twelve dynasties. It was the twelfth pit stop. No questions this leg. Kris & Jon who arrived at 527pm will depart at 527am. Fly to Honolulu, Hawaii and drive yourselves to Puu Ualakaa State Park. The gate closes at 645pm. Once inside they will find their next clue at the lookout point. I should mention there is a soundtrack that is awkwardly played for three seconds when Phil introduces Honolulu. It reminds me of the Survivor: Africa season premiere when the disco music plays when Diane’s torch is snuffed.
– Teams must book tickets at a travel agent or business centre because local laws forbid purchasing tickets at airports. Vietnam, India, and now China join the club. It must be an Eastern philosophy. I ask this every season but do we know what is the reasoning behind such a law?
– Jon is happy to make it this far and Kris says this leg is different because they had a “don’t be last” mentality. Freddy & Kendra depart at 646am. They dance and skip on the grass when they find out Hawaii is their next destination.
KENDRA: We’re not going to be the nice sweet people that we have been the majority of the race.
I must have missed the majority of the episodes then.
– The business centre is not open yet. Kris & Jon are at the reception desk calling travel agencies asking when they’d be open. Freddy & Kendra make up over an hour and join them. Kris & Jon are off to a travel agent quickly. Freddy is calling and discovers a busy signal a couple of times. Kris & Jon leave the travel agent because the agent does not speak English and is lost in translation. The business centre opens. Freddy & Kendra book a flight that leaves at 900am and arrives 930am the following morning. The flight leaves in a little over an hour. They are having troubles staying ahead.
– Kris & Jon get back to the travel agent are told they cannot make the 900am flight but there is a 1015am flight that goes to Tokyo and gets in at 945am. Fifteen minute lead for Freddy & Kendra? No big deal. We know there will be an equalizer before departing from Hawaii. Freddy & Kendra make the flight. They high five but Freddy hits Kendra’s hand too hard. Kris & Jon are on the flight and wonder where Freddy & Kendra are. The answer is ‘ahead’.
– Adam & Rebecca must be departing soon. They got to the pit stop at, what, nine thirty? Whoa. 1120am departure. That was a long bus ride at the end of the leg. The key for them is to stop fighting and then they will have a good chance to beat the other two teams. Note it has been a while since they have beat ANY of those two teams but this is leg thirteen. Anything can happen. They book tickets on a flight that arrives at 1100am. Kris & Jon’s six hour lead has been cut down to fifteen minutes.
– REBECCA: Our driver is bada–. We can say anything to this guy and he has no clue.
*Rebecca points at Adam*
REBECCA: He has three testicles!
They both laugh so hard. Adam & Rebecca run loudly and wildly in the airport. The three teams are connecting through Osaka or Tokyo. Freddy & Kendra get into Osaka. They find a flight that would arrive in 630am.
FREDDY: I don’t want a meal.
KENDRA: It’s okay it’s okay.
I s’pose a company cannot consent to starving its own guests.
KENDRA: We said we’d pay and we don’t need a meal. Why won’t you let us on the flight?
FREDDY: Honey, beg.
KENDRA: Please I have a sick child in Honolulu and I need to get to her.
Company policy overruled.
– Kris & Jon get into Tokyo. There is a flight that leaves earlier but there is only one seat on economy. You know how it is leg thirteen?
– Adam & Rebecca get into the airport and try to get on Freddy & Kendra’s flight. They are ready to get on. Attendant tells them no. But they are ready to go on. Attendant reconsiders it. However. . .
And these are the breaks. This ‘no meal’ policy is really getting in the way of a million dollar race.
– Attendant checks in with her supervisor. She says no. This sets Adam off.
ADAM: We have paid for full fare tickets. We have no bags to check., and it’s an emergency. And we were begging you, and you could have let us on but you chose not to. I just wanna tell you you’re really mean. You understand that? You know the word ’mean’? You’re really mean. You’re very cold.
You’re as cold as ice,
Willing to sacrifice
But seriously, what does Adam expect?
“Oh, I’m cold and mean. Let me check you onto the flight then.”
If I were Adam I would hold my tongue if I had my later flight with the same airline so I did not risk getting kicked off.
– Nobody has improved on their flight and we have the thirty minute gap from first to last has been kept. Freddy & Kendra are there at 930am. They are inside the SUV. Kendra celebrates that there are two others. Kris & Jon’s flight is in at 945am. They do not count the other vans. Jon thinks Freddy & Kendra are a little bit ahead and no idea where Adam & Rebecca are. Both teams are on the H1. They are lucky to avoid the previous seasons with Alaska or that craphole Calgary. Freddy & Kendra are first to the clue box. Detour.
– In this Detour teams choose between Outfits and Outriggers. In Outfits, teams travel ten miles to Hilo Hattie, a tropical clothing distributor. They will search 165, 000 pieces of clothing to match the outfit on their assigned mannequin. Once they put on the outfit they will be handed their next clue. In Outriggers, teams drive six miles to Lokahi Canoe Club. With the help of a steersperson they will paddle over two miles long. Nothing confusing but paddling a canoe will be difficult.
– Freddy & Kendra will paddle. Adam & Rebecca arrive at 1100am. They casually walk to their van. It begins to rain. Kris & Jon get to the clue.
JON: Wanna do outrigger?
KRIS: Yeah, let’s do outrigger.
JON: What if it’s raining though?
KRIS: Who cares. It’s water.
Didn’t think that question through, eh?
– 2.5 mile course is too long to paddle for Kris & Jon so they go to the clothing store.
FREDDY: We’re looking for Kalookawa. Kalookahwa. Kaloo-kawa. Kalakawa. Kalackawa. Kalackawa Avenue, honey.
Freddy recalls his first grade reading lessons where you sound out the word before setting on the pronunciation.
– Kris & Jon find the clothing store. They choose the cutest outfit. They go through the first few racks saying it is not the pattern. Freddy & Kendra get into the outrigger and paddle.
FREDDY: You’re killing me honey.
KENDRA: How am I killing you?
FREDDY: You’re getting water all over me.
KENDRA: How is that killing you?
Because Freddy is the Wicked Witch of the West. He’s meltinnnnnng. Although why the Wicked Witch of the West would go to Hawaii is a bit puzzling. Tropics wouldn’t be my first choice to go to if I was afraid of getting water on me.
– Kris & Jon find the shirt for Jon. Kendra greets the golfers and Freddy tells her not to wear herself out. She snaps back that she just wanted to have a little fun. They shout that it’s for a million bucks. Adam & Rebecca get to the clue box. Kris & Jon find the dress. Detour complete. Drive to Kamaka Air which is a local airport. Next clue is waiting there. I predict a skydiving roadblock much like TAR 4’s final leg. Freddy & Kendra are congratulated on their finish and are in pursuit of Kris & Jon.
– Kris & Jon are at Kamaka Air. It’s Jon no matter what because it is the twelfth and final roadblock. “Who is ready for an ocean dive?”
In this roadblock they must skydive tandem and will land on a sandbar in the ocean. Epic. Freddy & Kendra are in the streets and notice they have gone too far. They have not seen the other teams. Adam & Rebecca are in the outriggers.
ADAM: Rebecca c’mon. Push the water way.
REBECCA: Your tone of voice is really jarring.
Jarring means ‘shut your mouth’.
– Freddy & Kendra are at Kamaka Air. They catch up to Kris & Jon. Freddy and Jon get into the same plane. Jon has about a one minute lead which means these two teams are sure to be on the same flight to the final city. Adam & Rebecca are done the detour. They seem too far behind for only being no more than at a 15-minute disadvantage against Kris & Jon.
– The clue box is stuck in the sandbar. That would be a painful place to land at the end of a skydive. Jon is first out of the plane. A few minutes later Freddy is out of the plane. So one of these two teams will be millionaires, eh? Jon says it is sweet about a million times. Kris & Jon get their next clue.
Drive seventeen miles to the Honolulu International Airport. From there fly to the final destination city: Chicago. When they land they will travel to one of the few buildings that survived the Great Chicago Fire of 1871–The Water Tower. It is here where teams will find their next clue.
I should note that this is the first time since the first season that the race ends where it began. In season one we went from NYC to NYC. This season it is Chicago to Chicago. I will give production kudos for formatting it this way. That’s the way TAR should be. Travel the circumference of the globe and end in the same position where you started.
– Jon describes it as an unbelievable experience. Freddy comments on how amazing it is. My favourite skydive was TAR 3’s when seven teams did it for a detour and Tramel had to dodge teams who were going to collide with him in the landing zone. Adam is at Kamaka Air. He has to do the roadblock.
– KENDRA: The Little Ones still have a chance to catch up.
Heh, she still doesn’t respect Adam & Rebecca.
– Adam is ecstatic to be out of the plane and Rebecca is happy for him as well. She kisses him on the lips. Yikes.
– Kris & Jon are at the airport. They find a flight that departs at 430pm and arrives in Chicago at 543am. It is through sponsours American Airlines. Jon does not know if Freddy will get a flight that is on their tail or not far behind them. Jon asks if that is the earliest flight in the whole airport. The agent tells them it is the earliest flight.
– Freddy & Kendra get to the airport and go to the United Airlines counter as opposed to Jon’s beloved American Airlines.
KENDRA: What’s the fastest flight to Chicago?
AGENT: We leave at 420pm and get in at 515am.
KENDRA: Does American arrive fastest?
AGENT: They arrive at 545am.
FREDDY: We’ll take it. Have you seen anyone here who looks as frantic as us?
KENDRA: . . .Are you sure this is the earliest flight?
AGENT: Nope, that’s it.
– Freddy & Kendra are on the United flight uncontested. That was the quickest airport scene I have witnessed in the history of TAR. Usually there is a ten minute build-up of teams trying to all get on the same flight. There wasn’t extensive phone calls to other airlines, asking for the exact address to the first route marker, or teams eyeing each other in the airport seeing who is on which flight.
SO. . .
How did Kris & Jon not notice Freddy & Kendra at the United counter and go on a different flight? Couldn’t they pull the ol’ “Well we’re all on the same flight so that’s cool” front? Seriously.
– Kris & Jon board the second flight. The route marker will likely not open until 800am like every dang route marker all season. Adam & Rebecca are on a 605pm flight. They could make it to the equalizer too. There really is no reason why they could not make it to the route marker at 800am.
– Already in Chicago? The end of the episode until we get to the point where everyone cries on the mat is about ten minutes away. Freddy & Kendra’s flight gets in at 525am. Ten minutes late! Ah. There is hope even if there is the ten percent chance that the equalizer does not happen. They don’t know where they are going. Kris & Jon’s flight is 15 minutes early. 530am.
– Kris talked to a lady on her flight who informed them of the United Airlines flight. Nothing really matters now as a five minute lead is nothin’. They are jogging through the airport while Freddy & Kendra are running as fast as possible. They are given perfect directions to the water tower from a lady in uniform at the entrance. Kris & Jon run into the same lady and get the same directions. They ask if a team who looks like them has passed through. She says yes. Kris & Jon run to the platform and are on the same train as Freddy & Kendra.
Everything is even steven.
– Both teams try to make their way out. the sun is up. Both are running without their bags on the street. Kris stops to look at the map. Freddy & Kendra find the clue box at the water tower. Teams must now take a taxi to Gino’s East Pizzeria and each eat half of a deep dish pizza. I know Chicago has the stereotype of being fat but TAR may be exploiting it just a bit too much. Do pizzerias open at 600am let alone have deep dish pizzas ready on their menu?
KENDRA: I could eat a whole pizza right now. I’m hungry.
FREDDY: So could I. I don’t care if it has bugs on it.
Or your own puke, as we discovered earlier in the season.
– Freddy & Kendra are in a cab. Kris & Jon find the Water Tower.They run down the streets and whistle for a cab.
KENDRA: A whole pizza? What if it’s the size of a table?
FREDDY: Then we’ll just vomit and keep eating.
Just don’t repeat history and vomit INTO the pizza. It may help to turn your head. Walking into the finish line with puke stains on your face may alone save this season.
– Kris & Jon get into a cab. Freddy & Kendra are in the pizzeria. Sure enough no other patrons are inside the restaurant.
KENDRA: What’s that?
FREDDY: Chew chew chew.
KENDRA: Don’t you think that’s what I’m doing?
FREDDY: C’mon baby you can do it.
KENDRA: Honey I can’t move any faster I’m eating the pizza!
No, you’re talking. I would love to see you lose because of a Million Dollar Table Manner Mistake.
FREDDY: All you have to do is finish this and we’re on our way to the mat.
KENDRA: Zip, zip, zip.
Kendra burps loudly a bunch of times.
FREDDY: Million dollar pizza.
KENDRA: I can’t do it. It’s disgusting.
– Kris demonstrates how thick Chicago deep dish pizzas are. Kendra’s burping continues. She nearly vomits onto her plate.
– FREDDY: You can’t let this pizza beat you.
KENDRA: This pizza will not beat me I just want you to hush. Please!
FREDDY: Just stuff it in your mouth!
It appears Freddy has finished a solid five to ten minutes earlier than Kendra. If that pizza was just a little bit bigger I doubt Kendra would have any chance to finish it.
– KRIS: It’s 715am. I cannot think of a better time to eat a deep dish pizza.
JON: It’s dinner time in China.
And yet Gino’s can afford to be open at 600am. Chicagoans are looking to boost their fat intake around the clock.
NYC: The city that never sleeps.
Chicago: The stomach that never sleeps.
– FREDDY: These people are paying you to eat that pizza and you love it.
KENDRA: I uh love it.
FREDDY: It’s the best pizza you’ve ever had. It’s the best pizza you’re ever gonna have.
Now you’re a level 25 Shaolin Monk. We go down the Yangtze River along the Yellow Ghetto Path. We run into people breeding and breeding in the poverty, Hellboy sends down a curse upon you and you dodge it. You take out your level 17 Sharp Sword and slice him in half. You lose twenty hit points in the process but it’s okay because you have a High Potion in your pocket. Mix it with the green tea and you recover your magic points. . .
– Freddy & Kendra receive their clue.
FREDDY: Take a taxi to Ping Tom Memorial Park. Once there follow the flags to the finish line. This is go go go.
You botched the last clue. It’s ‘this is it go go go’. Now I’m sad.
– Freddy & Kendra are outside hailing a cab. Kendra belches. The camera shifts over an inch and we see Kris & Jon head inside. Oh. We’ve got a race. Freddy hails down a cab but tells him to wait as he approaches a cop car asking it to lead them there.
FREDDY: Ping Pong Memorial Park.
TAXI: Ping Tom?
FREDDY: Right. Yeah.
FREDDY: Can you lead us to Ping Tom Memorial Park? It’s an emergency.
OFFICER: What’s the emergency?
KENDRA: Honey you can’t say that to a police officer.
FREDDY: I’m sorry. We’re in a race.
The cop car will follow you now. Just under completely different circumstances. The fishiest thing for a cop to hear at 730am.
– Freddy offers to give fifty bucks to get them there quick. Adam & Rebecca’s plane lands. Kris & Jon are onto their last slices. Freddy & Kendra ask the cab driver to call somebody to get directions. The cab driver calls his dispatcher. He hands the phone to Freddy.
FREDDY: Ping Tom Memorial Park. Ping and Tom as in Tango O-M.
Something tells me Freddy wasn’t in the military. “I’ve got a license plate. G as in Golf, N as in November, O as in the letter ‘O’. . .
– The dispatcher says there is no such park as Ping Tom in Chicago.
FREDDY: You’re kidding.
DISPATCHER: Not kidding.
It’d be hilarious if the dispatcher is playing some mean joke on him and has caught wind that TAR is in town.
– Adam & Rebecca are at the water tower. Kris & Jon finish their pizza. They get into a cab right away. The driver knows where the park is. Jon opens his mouth and flashes his teeth. Kris says no pizza remnants are found. Adam & Rebecca are at Gino’s Pizza. They ask for soy cheese. Kendra asks another cab if they know where Ping Tom Memorial Park is. Adam suffers through eating tomatoes while Rebecca is sucking it up and eating normal cheese. Rebecca laughs at Adam wincing at tomatoes. Adam spits on her accidentally during his fury. Freddy & Kendra are in a dead end and drive back. Jon pays the cab ten bucks to run the light. Adam & Rebecca finish the pizza and get into a cab.
– Freddy sees they have entered Chinatown. That sounds right for a place called Ping Tom. Freddy pays the cab driver twenty bucks to run the light. Suspense is built. Freddy & Kendra run out and are first out of the cab. A train crossing blocks Kris & Jon from catching up. It seems rather fruitless as Freddy & Kendra get onto the mat.
– Freddy & Kendra talk about each other on the mat. Kris & Jon make out in the train crossing as they wait before running to the mat. Rinse and repeat minus the celebration. Jon congratulates the winning team. They talk about each other.
JON: It’s fine as long as I have you.
KRIS: He’s my everything.
JON: We’re just getting started.
KRIS: This man is the most incredible person ever. He is my foundation.
JON: I’m excited as what the future holds. This is just kind of a beginning point for us to start our lives and our journeys together.
Did I fail to mention they broke up shortly after the race? Yep. They do. Freddy & Kendra are still together. Adam & Rebecca?
You’re kidding right?
– Adam & Rebecca checks into the mat.
ADAM: This race has taught me I can leave home and leave my comfort zone and get along in the world. The world is an amazing place.
REBECCA: Adam and I will always have love for each other. To say we’re meant to be together forever neither of us can answer right now but whatever happens I will have him in my heart.
The answer turns out to be that Rebecca is a lesbian. Research for it yourself. 😛
Also I should note that Adam’s final words might be the saddest final words I have ever heard. A dating couple should not be saying ‘I know now I can leave mommy and daddy’. What amazes me is that Rebecca still hasn’t officially broken up with him. Were these thirty days fun for you, Rebecca?
– The teams hug all of the eliminated teams at the mat.
– PHIL: Stay tuned for scenes from the next season of The Amazing Race.
WHAT?! Previews for next season?! They have not done this before (or since). Why do they want to promote next season so quickly? Did this season suck so bad they need to pump a ton of funding into getting people interested enough to come back? What could be so special?
Next time on TAR:
PHIL: Three weeks from tonight eleven new teams will embark on a new race around the world for one million dollars.
*We are shown teams excited to go to Lima, Peru.*
Oh. Now I understand why there’s a promo. Although it has been seven months since they were featured in sixteen episodes of Survivor: All Stars and played two separate earlier editions of Survivor, production has cast them in hopes to recover ratings from TAR 6. Good move?
PHIL: Survivors Rob & Amber. . .and memorable others take off on a brand new Amazing Race.
Terrible music plays as we see a full minute preview of the season premiere. Intriguing.
2th Debra & Steve 12.0
12th Gina & Sylvia 12.0
11th Team Seinfeld/Avi & Joe 11.0
11th Dennis & Erika 11.0
11th Deidre & Hilary 11.0
11th Matt & Ana 11.0
9th Peggy & Claire 9.0
10th Meredith & Maria 9.0
10th Dennis & Andrew 9.0 FF
10th Russell & Cindy 8.33
8th Don & Mary Jean 8.2
10th Kim & Leslie 8.0
9th Jim & Marsha 7.33
8th Dave & Margaretta 7.0
9th Lena & Kristy 7.0
10th Hope & Norm 7.0
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43
7th Paul & Amie 6.2
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF
11th Amanda & Chris 6.0
6th Andre & Damon 5.86
5th Kami & Karli 5.8
8th Michael & Kathy 5.8
7th Cyndi & Russell 5.8
9th Heather & Eve 5.75
5th Nancy & Emily 5.67
10th Alison & Donny 5.5
6th Tian & Jaree 5.43 FF
7th Monica & Sheree 5.33 FF
7th Marshall & Lance 5.33
7th Gus & Hera 5.29
8th Bob & Joyce 5.25
7th Silver & Gold 5.17
9th Steve & Josh 5.0 – FF
9th Pat & Brenda 5.0 – FF
5th John Vito & Jill 4.8 – FF
3rd Adam & Rebecca 4.69 FF
5th Lori & Bolo 4.6 – FF
2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF
8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF
4th Linda & Karen 4.17
6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.)
3rd David & Jeff 4.00 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny 4.00 – FF
5th Gary & Dave 3.89 – FF
2nd Kelly & Jon 3.85
4th Jon & Al 3.73
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71
3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF
6th Jonathan & Victoria 3.56
1st Freddy & Kendra 3.46
1st Chris & Alex 3.38 – FF
1st Chip & Kim 3.38
4th Kevin & Drew 3.36 – FF
3rd Brandon & Nicole 3.31
1st Reichen & DK 3.15 – FF
4th Derek & Drew 3.10 – FF
4th Hayden & Aaron 2.92
3rd Joe & Bill 2.76 – FF
2nd Tara & Wil 2.53 – FF
1st Flo & Zach 2.69 – FF
3rd Ken & Gerard 2.69 – FF
2nd Colin & Christie 2.54 – FF
1st Rob & Brennan – 2.46 FF
2nd Frank & Margarita 2.38 – FF
2nd Kris & Jon 2.38
Rank The Teams
11) Freddy & Kendra
Bland. No personality. Mean spirited and racist comments in some of the countries. Freddy’s fake laugh. A couple of minor tiffs but that’s all we see from them. What did production see in them? A couple of mactor faces? Was there a mactor lottery draw and they won it to get on the show? I for one am confused by this decision.
10) Meredith & Maria
Neither of them could drive a stick. Neither of them could follow directions. Neither of them could do any of the tasks well. The out of shape 70 year olds beat them in a physical task. They are good people, but production loses marks for not catching on that this team is incapable of doing virtually any tasks on the Race. Why cast them if you know they will need a miracle or an insane number of equalizers to survive each round?
9) Don & Mary Jean
They earn points for refusing to beg money from locals. They stole cars. They misread clues. They could not find clues. Don was spontaneous and puked in the water to catch fish. I guess they weren’t too bland for the token old couple. Their record of not finishing better than eighth after five legs will not be beat.
8) Kris & Jon
A nice mactor couple. They were strong in the race. Their popularity on the CBS polls were second of all-time only to the Clowns. Kris loves I Love Lucy. Editors did not show them much except for about three episodes all season. I liked them. In most seasons we as an audience would not care for them but because there was not much to root for in this cast they were given a gigantic nod and were supported throughout the season.
EDITOR’S NOTE (April 28th/2015): Thanks to a combination of commentators and Twitter hunters (Jordan and Dale), it has come to my attention that Kris & Jon did NOT break up after the race as previously stated. They are married and have a minimum of one child together.
However, if you wish to continue to perpetuate the false rumour that Kris & Jon have broken up, I am sure they would find this hilarious. Or maybe they would be a little bit annoyed. I don’t know.
And holy heck. This is April of 2015 (three years since this post) and I am still doing this blog. I have ranked fifteen more seasons of TAR. Will this project ever f–king end?
7) Hayden & Aaron
For a mactor couple, they reasonably delivered. Anyone from this point forward is worthy of being considered good enough to be cast for TAR. Hayden’s overawareness of her ability to freak out and be impatient works well with Aaron being calming except for his random fits of anger. The way he tells Hayden to shut up in the most humourous ways possible and Hayden to be accepting of it is even better.
Their final episode is one of the best departure episodes I have seen from a team. That alone launches them into a halfway decent casting decision. The proposal is the least groan-worthy proposal stunt I have ever seen. You never got the impression Aaron was wanting to camera whore.
6) Gus & Hera
The minor leagues version of Gus & Hera. Gus views his daughter as being a child. Evidently that changes throughout the course of the race. Gus calls everyone a pain in the a–. He forms a secret alliance that lasts only one round. He cries in Senegal. Gus yells at Hera the first few legs and refuses to do any detour options that are fun. However it is funny to watch him run. I’d like to see him, Kendra, Flo, and Marshall in a foot race together. This team is solid enough to be cast. They should have been the bottom of the talent pool, though. This season however featured many that were worse than them.
5) Avi & Joe
They looked exactly like characters from Seinfeld. Avi had the potential to be one of the most polarizing players in TAR history. It is about as good cop/bad cop as a team could ever get in TAR. I must say it really was too bad that these two went home so early. Avi taunted at teams as he passed them in a car and Joe was a ‘nice guy’ to the others. We will forever question how their storyline would have played out if it wasn’t for a late leg error.
4) Adam & Rebecca
The first mother-son team to run the race. Oh wait. I can see what production saw in those two. This couple spelled disaster from the start. Both are fitness gurus but hardly fit the ‘tough ones’ mould. You’d think they should have the attitude of Lori & Bolo but they don’t. Adam lives at home and recently learned to cut his own toenails. His Hellboy hair is a hairstyle that has not been duplicated in all twenty seasons of TAR. He threatened to jump on train tracks and jump off a boat whenever Rebecca broke up with him. Him floating in a gigantic SCUBA suit as ten people attend to him is a season highlight and one of the funniest things I have seen.
Rebecca on the other hand was entertaining enough and very likable. She would even go on to have her own TV show. The only reason other teams let these two follow them is because Rebecca was that dang likable. She was friendly to the other teams, probably the only person on the planet who had the patience for Adam, and kept up a fake romantic front with Adam to ensure Adam’s freakouts would be limited. Controlling every aspect of Adam’s personality and him yelling at you can be exhausting after thirty days of travelling alone with him around the world. Some of her terrible jokes did crack me up from time to time as well as some of her facial expressions.
These two were worthy of being cast. It shows how weak this season’s competitors were when a team like Adam & Rebecca make it to Final Three. I wish they would have won so Adam would have more motivation to move out of his parents’ house.
I LOVE YOU MOM MOM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU MOM!
3) Lena & Kristy
They are the only all-female team in the past couple seasons to not talk about the ‘we need a female team to win!!!!1111oneoneone’ crap. Therefore, that alone made me be fans of theirs. They screwed up in the first couple legs but ran a nearly flawless third leg. However it was the same leg when production made its most poorly thought out roadblock in the history of TAR. I wish they would have let Lena find a clue before going onto the course and eliminating them. At least give her that satisfaction.
2) Lori & Bolo
Married professional wrestlers? What a hoot. They were nice racers who happened to have the ability to trash talk each other in a fashion that is humourous. They entertained other racers by having a match on a glacier in Iceland. Jonathan gets called out for shoving but Lori clothesline’s her husband and Bolo body slams his wife without any criticism met by the audience. These two are one of the few teams I give a nod to on this season. They were great.
1) Jonathan & Victoria
The judges declare this a no contest. Imagine how crappy of season TAR 6 is. Now remove Jonathan & Victoria from the first nine episodes. Would there be a single good thing memorable about the season without them? Nope.
Rank the Legs
1) Shanghai -> Xi’an (Terra Cotta Warriors om nom nom. Production made sure this leg was a doozy prior to the finale. Teams could not communicate with their cab drivers. They searched a major tourist destination for a clue relatively out of sight. Hayden & Aaron have one of the biggest blow-ups with a cab driver ever. The roadblock was freakin’ amazing. Pushing hay bales = no technique. Working a key into a lock = technique. A seventeen hour train ride at the beginning can wear you down too. This episode is the only one all season to remind me how fun the race can be.)
2) Goree Island -> Berlin (In a leg where slavery and the Holocaust are memorialized, Kendra calls for a genocide of “Ghetto Africa” and Jonathan shoves his wife. This episode is perhaps the single most important episode to why TAR survived being taken off the air.)
3) Sirigiya -> Shanghai (The least infuriating episode of the season. Unless you are Adam and do not like being called ‘honey’.)
4) Corsica -> Lalibela (One of the least infuriating legs of the season. Yeah there was an equalizer at the ferry and yes it gave Hayden & Aaron plenty of time to render the non-elimination moot. The rest of the episode went smoothly. Kendra’s asthma, Adam and Lori’s eyes for details, Adam & Rebecca’s hoodie pulling, and Jonathan being eliminated from the race literally because of an a– is a great completion to his and Victoria’s storyline.)
5) Reykavik -> Voss (I s’pose it was okay. There were a couple equalizers but at least they drove themselves all leg. Jonathan & Victoria carry this episode from start to finish with their antics. Adam’s ridiculousness persists with doing the roadblock, lost sunglasses, and jumping on train tracks. A pit stop penalty and old people stealing cars makes it a memorable one.
6) Chicago -> Reykavik (Errors, errors everywhere and not a team running flawless. This two hour premiere featured a secret alliance where two of the teams in the alliance finished tenth and eleventh. Nothing original as several equalizers occur and tasks are modeled after TAR 3, 4, and 5. It was okay I guess?
7) Budapest -> Corsica (An equalizer followed by a good battle for flights followed by. . .ANOTHER EQUALIZER! This season smokes the first five seasons for the equalizer record. The only reason why this leg is so high is because of how the tasks were so inspired by such a tiny place. Seeing Rebecca & Adam go from being romantically involved at the start of the race to being a mother-son duo in episode eight is great. Kris’ Lucy face is memorable as well as Jonathan being a major hypocrite and useless at nearly every task this round.)
8) Lalibela -> Sirigiya (Late equalizers really drag down the quality of this leg. A break from Jonathan & Victoria’s screaming did make this leg more refreshing than a country that chooses to be poor. Elephant polo and three teams being set up to swim the length of a pool simultaneously are highlights. The episode was an equalizer or two less away from being at the top of the rankings. Rebecca puts Operation Pretend Boyfriend into effect.)
9) Stockholm -> Dakar (Taking mactors out of their comfort zone is always fun. The only episode where Jonathan comes off as the best cast member in an environment. His adventures with Ejal, Adam whining as he digs up salt, and Don puking into the water was fun. What wasn’t fun were the high number of equalizers and Kendra becoming the absolute least tolerant contestant out of all 114 people to run the race course. This leg would hold the record for earliest non-elimination for a really long time. It is for a good reason because all it did was keep a crappy team in longer.)
10) Budapest -> Budapest (First route marker opens at 10pm. Following route marker opens at 10am. The team that was twelve hours behind is in a position to be in first and win the Fast Forward. Detour appears to take about ten minutes total. Freddy and Hera run into a gate that leads to Freddy freaking out. We see Freddy eat his own puke while other racers endure spicy food and one of the kookiest musical bands I have heard in my life. I s’pose those were the best parts. The equalizers, Gus & Hera’s unexplained elimination, and an unnecessary train brawl results in this leg being annoying.)
11) Berlin -> Budapest or Eger depending on which team you are (Trivants, Jonathan being a superhero, and Jonathan being kicked out of a cab. Jonathan carries a lone cannonball, sweet talks a cop, and attacks Gus & Hera. Oh, and a million equalizers including the first ever To Be Continued leg. What a God Awful twist. -_- )
12) Voss -> Stockholm (F— you producers. Worst episode of all time.)
13) Xi’an -> Chicago (Until this s— happened. I could not pick a worse ending to the season. Any of the other ten teams winning would have been a better option. The tasks in Chicago were exceedingly lame. No puzzles, no mazes, no nothing. Eating a deep dish pizza? That’s a challenge? It sounds freakin’ delicious after traveling for over a month! My least watched episode of the first thirteen seasons.)
So that’s TAR 6. It started off on a weak note and most definitely ended on a weak note. To give you an idea of how much I hated the finale I will tell you this little anecdote:
In September when TAR 3, Survivor 5, and Mole 2 aired, I began not only taping the episodes but archiving the episodes. That means they won’t suffer the same fate of earlier seasons that were taped over or are on random tapes. In addition everything is labelled. Mole 2, Celebrity Mole Hawaii, Celebrity Mole Yucatan, Mole 5, Survivor 4 finale through Survivor 21, and TAR 3 – 14 are all for my own personal use. Five full shelves of VHS tapes.
Why is that significant? Because for years the TAR 6 finale was nowhere to be found. I knew I taped it but it was impossible for me to find. When I was doing a scavenger for my lost episodes (Thailand’s Erin boot, Survivor 6 finale, and TAR 6 finale) I found TAR 6 on an unlabelled tape. I popped it in and knew why it wasn’t labelled. It wasn’t because of my own carelessness but rather because I hated the finale so much that I had blocked it out of my mind. Today is only the third time I have seen the final episode and the season I have pretty much re-watched the least.
Without further ado I present to you my ranking for TAR 6 compared to the other five seasons.
1. The Amazing Race 5 – 9.2/10
2. The Amazing Race 3 – 8.7/10
3. The Amazing Race 2 – 8.5/10
4. The Amazing Race (1) – 7/10
5. The Amazing Race 4 – 6.25/10
6. The Amazing Race 6 – 3.9/10
Yes, this season is that much worse compared to the first five instalments. Why does it lose so much points in my books?
1) It is the first season to take a step backwards. All other seasons have improved upon the previous season’s format. Whether it be to revise the non-elimination rules, edit it to be more entertaining to watch, better casting, or tidy up the little details. TAR 6 took a step back in every direction except the proportionate roadblock performance rule. Fourteen seasons later and that rule has held up.
2) Introduction of To Be Continued legs. I call it the ‘Freebie Round’. It occurs for the sole purpose of shock value and renders the leg meaningless. It would take production over half of a decade to improve the formatting of it.
3) Reduce the number of yields to three. I covered this at the beginning of the season so I won’t go down that road again. The reduction is stupid just like with Fast Forwards. I could see splitting six legs for Fast Forwards and six legs for Yields but my word don’t have them remove virtually all strategy.
4) Equalizer record. I have complained about them in the past but this season took it to a whole new level. It became a joke after a while and I would guess an equalizer was coming up regardless if I knew it would happen or not. You’re welcome, Adam & Rebecca.
5) Tasks were much easier this season except for leg twelve with the lock roadblock. The hay bales were tough but that’s only if you were super duper unlucky like Lena.
6) The roadblock I just mentioned. Did production put any thought into it?
7) Eurocentric race route. This season had a record seven pit stops in Europe which beat TAR 3 and TAR 4’s tie with five pit stops. For some reason seasons that have a lot of Europe pit stops tend to be near the bottom for me. The route wasn’t as terrible as it could have been though.
8) The ending. Quickly go through the endings of TAR 1 – TAR 5 in your mind. Now think about TAR 6. An ending is a big factor when people rank seasons and TAR 6’s ending falls so far below the mark that it is worth a two point deduction alone. It suffers from the same fate that Survivor: Amazon did.
9) Poor casting. They were not competitive nor many of them were all that interesting or likable.
10) In sixty-six teams in the six seasons of TAR, my sixty-sixth favourite team wins. Freddy & Kendra should not have been cast in the first place, Kendra goes all out in an ugly American attitude, and express zero personality as they enter the winner’s circle.
11) A season manages to be both controversial and forgettable.
a) Lena’s hay bale task.
b) Jonathan shoving, poking, slapping, Rock Bottoming Victoria.
c) Kendra’s comments would make The Soup in today’s world.
Besides these three memories does anything come to mind for you or the casual viewer? I am certain it is the least talked about season of all-time. It was back then and it is now. The three highlights I mentioned are memorable for the wrong reasons. It is anything but a feel good season.
Good things I can say about the season:
1) Kris & Jon are nice.
2) Jonathan carried twenty-one people on his back for nine episodes to make it watch-able.
3) It’s over.
Only three weeks after the finale viewers erase TAR 6 from their memory as they have an optimistic frame of mind as we enter TAR 7. But could Rob & Amber, who at the time are reality TV whores and stretching their fifteen minutes thin, possibly be the nail in the coffin?
We will soon find out.
Our winners for TAR 6:
THIS SEASON I’M GONNA BREAK IN HALF!