Previously on TAR: Lori & Bolo got a divorce despite saying they would be together forever. Five teams raced from Ethiopia to Sri Lanka. Local food made Kendra sick but an elephant ride revived her. Adam & Rebecca were on the last team and Adam wanted to quit. Rebecca turned the tables on him by enthusiastically complying until Adam changed his mind. Hayden struggled on a treetop rope walk and faced her fear of heights. But on the roadblock Lori & Bolo missed a crucial detail on a 650-foot high rock. They could not make up for lost time. Who will be eliminated next? Will the last non-elimination come into play?
– Intro time.
– This is Sri Lanka. The jewel of the Indian Ocean. Teams arrived at a hotel near Lion Rock. Will Hayden & Aaron’s frustration with each other affect their performance? And will Adam & Rebecca’s constant bickering keep them in last place? Kris & Jon, who arrived at 11:59am, will depart at 11:59pm. Fly to Shanghai, China. Once there make their way to You You Won Gardens. That’s what it sounds like. One hundred forty-two bucks for this leg. Kris thinks the race is more difficult as you continue on. I think going from ten safety spots to three may play a role into that. Kris feels they need to be at the top of their game. Aaron sees himself and Hayden as one of the possible three teams to race to the finish line. He thinks Hayden is bold-headed. Her way or the highway. They have to learn to come together.
– Kendra thinks they are stronger and the Final Four are all strong. They must buckle down and stay focused. Adam & Rebecca depart in last a measly eight minutes behind first. Rebecca knows they will not give up and put aside their arguing and work together. Kris tells the driver she is in a hurry. Rebecca has wanted to go to Shanghai since she saw Sean Penn and Madonna in Shanghai Surprise. She finds it funny.
The hardest anyone has laughed at Madonna.
– Freddy informs us of their alliance with Hayden & Aaron that has been ignored since the end of the Hungary leg. He wants to push themselves to the front.
ADAM: I love Chinese food.
REBECCA: But if we eat Chinese food in China it won’t be Chinese food it’ll just be food.
ADAM: *eyeroll* Right.
– They all get to the airport. Kris books tickets on Dragonair at 745am. Hayden books same tickets. So do Freddy. Adam says he will book the tickets but Rebecca insists she must do it and even has to push Adam aside at the counter. I am extremely curious what Adam did in the past that has forced Rebecca to assert herself to buy tickets.
– Hayden & Aaron spend time exchanging their money at the counter. The other three teams are unable to flag cabs in the street for whatever reason.
KRIS: It’s not their fault it’s our fault. We’re in their country and we don’t know how to communicate with them. It’s very frustrating.
Awe. Aren’t they so adorable?
– HAYDEN: What will give us more Yen?
AARON: It’s not Yen.
HAYDEN: Well whatever it’s called.
Shanghai, China and Tokyo, Japan whatever same thing.
– Freddy & Kendra catch a cab. Rebecca asks Freddy what the exchange rate is and Freddy tells her. The Yield incident is clearly behind them. The price of that bond is the following confessional by Freddy:
FREDDY: Poor little ones they are so clueless and lost. Rebecca attaches herself to somebody and just watches everything they do and does the same thing then they’ve gotten this far. Poor Adam is so assertive enough to not do it on his own.
Freddy just made my job a whole lot easier. He successfully dissected the only reason Adam & Rebecca have made it to leg eleven. They used the same strategy as Brandon & Nicole did last season except I did not expect myself to say it but Brandon & Nicole had the ability to act completely independent. Rebecca is the leader when she isn’t exactly a leader in her everyday life from what I can tell.
– Kris & Jon bargain a cab ride for twenty-four US dollars. Adam & Rebecca get into a cab. Hayden & Aaron finish exchanging money. A lady inside says a ride is $250. They know that’s not right and ask a cab outside. Kris says it has been exactly twenty-four hours since their flight left Colombo. Rebecca comments that the three teams are all following each other in cabs to the route marker. Hayden talks about how the cab is ripping them off. Aaron tells her to be quiet. She does not acknowledge it and keep talking.
AARON: shut up shut up shut up shut up. Be quiet babe. No more.
Why. . .isn’t. . .this. . .working?
HAYDEN: You know who always makes an a– of themselves? I do. Don’t tell me to shut up.
– Kris & Jon jump out of the cab. The three teams figure out the cabs are all at a hotel. They go inside and are told the route marker is a two minute walk away. So they abandon the non-English speaking cabs and walk to the route marker at 1:14am. Hayden notices their cab has driven in a circle and is on the same road.
Ghetto Street. It is between Vermont Avenue and Oriental Avenue. c wut i did thar/
But seriously, ‘let’s go down the Ghetto Street’ may be the Whitest statement I have heard in my life.
– Hayden & Aaron are having difficulties communicating with their driver. Hayden looks frantic as she tells the driver to keep going. Kendra is asking random people passing by on bicycles.
REBECCA: We’re moving into the Harlem of Shanghai.
ADAM: Are we asking somebody?
KRIS (sarcasm): Jon’s trying to but there seems to be a communication barrier.
We go back to the cab.
HAYDEN: You passed by it and didn’t say anything.
AARON: Hayden, just wait.
HAYDEN: We’re somewhere in Shanghai with scary little alley with scary men.
I was preparing for Haydene to say ‘scary little alley with scary little men’. That would have made my day.
– All eight racers are lost.
HAYDEN: You deal with this before I hyperventilate.
Nothing like finding a building at two o’ clock in the morning in one of the most densely populated cities worldwide. Three teams are traveling together while Hayden & Aaron are the only ones on their own. Very unusual to have a three-team alliance in the eleventh leg. At least they are not sharing cabs like Jon & Al did with David & Jeff last season. Chris & Alex’s alliance with Tara & Wil through episode ten has been broken for biggest alliance.
– They find the building. Hours of operation are 830am to whoever the heck cares. The three teams check into the hotel together. No word on Hayden & Aaron but we assume they found it.
Even the passers by find a man holding two gigantic fans on roller blades to be an unusual sight at the break of dawn.
– The four teams buy tickets before entering the gardens. It is a huge maze. Freddy & Kendra are first to spot the clue. Next route marker is at Yincheng Road in Huaneng Union Tower. Caution: Yield Ahead. I wonder who Freddy & Kendra would yield. The tower looks huge so no surprise as to what they’ll be doing for a detour task.
– Kris & Jon hail a taxi but refuses them entry. They hail another taxi and get in. Hayden & Aaron are third out of the gardens. Adam & Rebecca’s game of follow the leader has failed them for once. They are out of the maze last. Rebecca knows they are so yielded. Hayden & Aaron walk together with Freddy & Kendra. Hayden tells them they must use their yield. Personally I don’t think they needed any convincing. Hayden asks someone to go with her into the road and call for ‘taxi’.
– ADAM (angry and whiny): Does anybody speak Englishhhh.
REBECCA: Stop getting mad.
ADAM: I’m not mad I’m yelling.
REBECCA: It comes off RUDE-UH.
HAYDEN: Will they not stop because I’m American? Why won’t they stop?
ADAM: DOES ANYBODY SPEAK ENGLISH?!
KENDRA: We flagged down empty taxis and they would not stop. I don’t know if they were discriminating against us or if there’s something about the taxi service that we don’t quite understand.
I think the behaviour of you three may change it to the former after today. Someone has commented on this episode that you almost always call ahead in advance for a cab.
ADAM: Get your money out.
REBECCA: Because they’re not obviously driven by money. There’s some other force working here.
I’d love to know what that ‘other force’ is.
– Hayden & Aaron get into a cab in third. Adam & Rebecca are stuck out on the streets. Kris knows Freddy will yield her if they get to the route marker first. It will be a likely scenario because the cab is Kris’ worst nightmare. Freddy however says he thought about yielding Kris & Jon but said that payback for Adam & Rebecca is more important. Emotion is the scientifically proven enemy of reasoning. It hinders you the same way in TAR as it does in Survivor.
– Freddy & Kendra are first to the yield mat. Phil informs us it is the third and final yield of the season. Hayden & Aaron are right behind. Kendra celebrates being there first. They yield Adam & Rebecca.
KENDRA: HAH HAH!
From Wilma to Nelson Muntz, Kendra Bentley can do it all.
– Roadblock time. In this roadblock that person has to go to the top of the tower. Then they must lower themselves to wash a window. They will wash the window until a message is revealed. Go to the base and tell the supervisor the message to receive their next clue. It would suck to forget the message on the way down. Kendra is doing it and shares her fear of heights but wishes to face the fear head-on.
– Hayden & Aaron get to the yield mat.
She points too. The Full Muntz.
– Aaron is doing the roadblock. They go into the hotel to ask for directions to the roadblock tower. Kris concludes they have been driving for too long. Adam & Rebecca know they are in the vicinity of the clue box but cannot spot it yet. Aaron is directed into the elevator and is heading to the top.
– HAYDEN: Adam’s coming right now and I am hiding behind a palm tree
Survey says she did not play Hide & Seek much as a kid.
– Adam & Rebecca go inside the hotel knowing it is not right. Hayden sees them go inside and runs away to a different spot to not be seen. Secret Haygent Man.
– The Norway detour soundbyte is played when Freddy says “THIS IS THE BIGGEST TIME I HAVE EVER SEEN”. The cab wasted a few minutes taking them all the way to the back. They did not figure out they were at the tower to begin with. I thought that had to be it.
– Aaron is first to suit up. Kris & Jon they are losing a ton of time. Adam sees the clue and the yield mat. They await the sand to run out. Kendra hugs the worker to comfort her before going over the edge. She talks at greater lengths about her fear of heights.
– Kris & Jon’s cab arrives as Adam & Rebecca observe from the yield mat. Kris tells the cab driver that he sucks. I wonder how they got there without being shown asking for directions? Did the driver take them the longest way possible to rack up his meter?
Ah yes. They are human. Kris & Jon’s Flanders-like streak of being happy and content is over. Bring them back for All-Stars to see them get upset again.
That roadblock ‘hint’ is more of an instruction. It is the least creative hint I have seen. Which producer made the judgment call that there needed to be four exclamation marks at the end and exactly four? The minute details of TAR are intriguing.
– Kris is doing the roadblock. Adam thinks this yield is an act of revenge rather than strategy. Aaron is done. He says the message aloud before people above say he can go down to relay the message. The message is ‘Tai Chi’. It appears the rules prevent a team from going down and saying the wrong message. Kendra is unable to say anything and wonders if she is squeegeeing properly.
– Aaron is given the clue. Hayden tells Aaron to read it loud enough for Freddy to hear. Model Alliance is back. Next route marker is at the Monument to the People’s Heroes on Shanghai’s most popular mile. Find a group of tai chi masters and search for one of four masters who hold a clue. The other thirty people just get to look pretty doing Tai Chi.
– Adam argues with Rebecca over why Freddy is stupid. Rebecca understands it was stupid but knows it was fair for them to be yielded. She gives a confessional that the smarter move would be to yield Kris’ team because they are the strongest. Jon thanks Freddy for not yielding him. The wind is proving difficult for Kendra to handle but she survives it. They get into the cab no problem because rush hour is over.
ADAM: They’re stupiiid for being smart people they’re stupiiiid.
*Sand runs out*
ADAM: Hope Kris & Jon kick their a–!
REBECCA: You wanna yell some more you wanna yell some more?
ADAM: I wanna yell at Freddy & Kendra!
REBECCA: Then why are you yelling at me?
ADAM: I’m a loud talker!
REBECCA: The sand has run out. Why are we still arguing!
They may be the only team to not notice the second the sand has run out.
– Kris is coming down. Rebecca is doing the roadblock. She describes it as her stomach going into her mouth. The wind is picking up more. Adam does not think she can do it because of her fears. Jon and Kris talk about how Freddy should have yielded them instead of Adam. Kendra asks if they yielded the right team. Freddy feels satisfied. Ah, it appears he wants to go the Coach Wade route and take the best to the end.
– Rebecca is done. Adam and Rebecca have been shouting to each other but four hundred feet apart is a long ways to communicate. Only Jonathan or Victoria’s voices can reach such a distance. Rebecca has the message. She repels down. Adam is smart and finds a cab. He loads their bags in and they wait together for Rebecca.
But maybe not the best cab. That is not Broken English. It’s Shattered English.
– Adam asks if it was scary. She says she did not open her eyes once. That’s a lie unless the ‘TAI CHI’ message was in Braille. Aaron avoids the swords wielded by the Tai Chi masters before receiving the clue. Using the enclosed map, take a taxi three miles to Jiang Pu Road where the next clue is located. This must be downtown where a million things are located. Adam & Rebecca ask for further directions before getting inside the cab. Freddy & Kendra find another Tai Chi master. Kris & Jon are dropped off in a random park. Adam’s cab does not understand the word ‘fast’. Quiet cab ride.
– Kris & Jon eventually find the Tai Chi people. They picked the worst day to do Tai Chi. Americans walking up to your ear several times asking for a clue you may or may not have disrupts this peaceful process. Bicycles pass Freddy’s cab.
FREDDY: I hope we get there in a timely fashion.
We move on from the world of Nelson Muntz to the vocabulary of Principal Skinner.
– Hayden & Aaron get to clue box. Detour time. Phil says teams must choose between two things commonly found in China: Bricks or Ice. Ice? That would not have been the first thought to pop into my head. In Bricks, teams transport three hundred clay bricks off this barge using a tool similar to the episode six immunity challenge in Pearl Islands, the episode four immunity in South Pacific, and the episode four reward in Tocantins. They will balance on a single wooden plank and stack the bricks onto a wooden pallet.
In Ice, teams will load two two hundred twenty-two (say that ten times fast) pounds of ice on the back of a flat bed tricycle and take it to a fish market four streets away. Then they will have to break the block using a mallet and nail and take the smaller pieces of ice into a tub. Then they will receive their next clue. Uh, I think I’d go with the first one.
– Hayden & Aaron are doing bricks because the other one sounds complicated. Kendra loves that this place is so far away from what they know. Adam & Rebecca get their clue. Rebecca comments the master looks like her Yoga teacher. Hayden & Aaron start on the bricks. She says she is strong. Hayden loads up twenty on each side. Freddy & Kendra get to detour. Jon shows the driver the mat. The driver points in the opposite direction. This cab driver sucks. Odd to see Kris & Jon vulnerable.
– Hayden calls Aaron’s name a million times. I love how she is barely carrying any bricks. They load it up. Jon is screaming at his cab for the first time in the whole race. He wonders where he was taking them originally if it was not where he showed on the map. Adam hopes a cab got lost. Particularly Freddy’s.
JON: He took us ten blocks in the opposite direction ‘okay, okay, okay, okay’. It’s not ‘okay, okay, okay, okay’.
Someone has anger issues.
– Hayden is saying she can move a mile an hour. The locals sitting on the side laugh at her.
Ah yes. This extended lunch hour to watch Americans do our own labour entertains us long time.
– Kendra screams at Freddy when he tries to coach her. She said that the instructor is the one who knows how to do it and not him. They opt for less bricks. Jon is unhappy in his cab when he sees how far they overshot it. Rebecca tells Adam to keep his eyes peeled for the route marker.
– Hayden is wobbling all over the place and is carrying as much as weight as Aaron who apparently weighs two hundred pounds. She goes on to say she has no balance. She stars Flo’ing it. They have 220 bricks. Freddy & Kendra have 195. Jon asks to be let out of the cab. The driver is not listening. Jon is forced to open the door which is met by honks from others. Jon shows the driver the map. He points it is further up. Jon wonders where he was taking them again. Not a fun couple of cab rides for Kris & Jon. Will there be an upset before the finale? Commercial.
– JON: How much should I give him?
KRIS: Don’t give him anything.
Jon does the age old TAR practice of throwing the money at the cabbie to vent his frustration. Even people as sweet as Kris & Jon channel their frustration through these physical measures.
The cabbie looks for any money that did not make it into the cab. He is searching hard because it is likely more than what he makes in a year.*
* For those new to the blog that’s a Kendra reference. My sarcasm may be lost on you initially.
– Rebecca says they are almost there. Kendra’s bar is too long on the back of her neck. Hayden says it is hard. Kris & Jon ask for directions from locals to where the road is. They direct him in a new direction. This is quite the Shanghai Surprise.
– Battle music plays. Hayden & Aaron finish detour. Pit stop is at the Peace Hotel South. The last team to check in may be eliminated. They take off for their cab driver. Aaron raises his arms in victory. Kris & Jon get to detour. It is appropriate they just s— bricks before carrying bricks. Adam & Rebecca get there shortly after.
KENDRA: The Little Ones are here.
Evidently Adam & Rebecca are not viewed as being terribly mature. This is a step up from Kendra calling them monkeys during the opening leg in Iceland.
REBECCA: Honey, this way–
ADAM: Don’t call me honey–
JON: Watch your sides babe–
I would not appreciate being called either of those names. Tomato tomata.
– Hayden & Aaron are hoping the cab is taking them to the right place. Freddy & Kendra flag a cab down. Kris & Jon carry more bricks.
REBECCA: Honey, c’mon honey–please hurry up.
ADAM: Rebecca I’m going to start screaming at you if you call me honey. If you call me honey one more time while we’re doing this, you’re dead to me.
REBECCA’S MIND: honeyhoneyhoneyhoneyhoneymaybethishellboywillbursthoneyhoneyhoney.
– Freddy recaps that Adam & Rebecca and Kris & Jon got there at the same time. He goes on to say that if they work efficiently and Kris’ bad luck with cabs continue then third place is up for grabs. Adam’s bar breaks. Rebecca has other things on their mind.
HOW LONG IS THERE LUNCH BREAK?! Are they a bunch of stoners or what?
– Kris & Jon have 180. Adam chimes in to say they have 60 total.
REBECCA: Honey pleeeeease. C;mon.
ADAM: Don’t call me honey. Let’s move and let’s go.
ADAM: Better. I’d prefer that.
And Adam would actually prefer not engaging in any sexual activity for the rest of his life. Do you not know that pet names are the only source to promote grander affection?
– Hayden & Aaron and Freddy & Kendra are in a cab race to the finish. Kris, Jon, and Rebecca combine for about one hundred ‘babes’ in ten seconds. I know my sister HATES the word ‘babe’. She hates it when it is overused. Dunno why that TAR memory stuck with me but it has.
– Kris & Jon are done. Adam & Rebecca have one hundred more bricks to go.
HAYDEN: I’m too. . .
HAYDEN: He’s calming, mellow, and normal, and I’m weird, crazy, and neurotic–
Did Hayden call herself weird, crazy, and neurotic? Aaron is soooo saving this tape.
– REBECCA: We have thirty left. You carry twenty and I carry ten.
If it were Jonathan & Victoria the ratio would be Victoria carrying fifteen and Jonathan carrying five. Rebecca kisses Adam’s cheek when they finish. Kris barely has a lead over Adam and prays they will have a good cabbie for once.
– It is a four-way cab race but not for long. Hayden & Aaron are inside the elevator for the hotel. Freddy & Kendra are not far behind. Hayden & Aaron are team number one. Did they win a vacation to beautiful Hawaii compliments of AA.com which they can enjoy after the race?
Yay! I got it word for effing word. This is my third point scored in the past seven episodes. I get the adjective AND the location right. I am the bomb. Will I score my fourth and final point of the season next episode? Stay tuned to find out!
– Oh right. There’s a show going on here. Aaron says if Hayden stays tall then they can’t be beat. Hayden is short so I don’t know what the heck he’s talking about. Freddy & Kendra get in the elevator. Jon hopes this is the cab that takes them to the pit stop. Adam proclaims the yield killed them and damns Freddy & Kendra. Eternal damnation to the streets of “Ghetto Africa”!
– Freddy & Kendra are second to the pit stop. They sprinted to the mat. Kendra insists to tell the greeter that Shanghai is beautiful. Phil asks them about their payback. They say the next leg will be their best leg. What about leg 13?
– Kris & Jon exit the cab. They were so close to being run over in four different lanes. Frogger is jealous. Kris & Jon and Adam & Rebecca are both in what appears to be different elevators. However chances are it is creative editing and one team has a decisive lead over the other. Jon is exhausted by the cab drivers. It’s fine because they hit the mat in third.
PHIL: I hope I didn’t scare you.
JON: The taxi drivers are what scared us today.
– Adam & Rebecca hit the mat in last. Will it be the final non-elimination or will it be saved for the season finale?
It’s a non-elimination. They jump, hug, and kiss. It is the first time they’ve been in last. Adam wished they stopped for a big dinner and Rebecca wanted to tip her cabbie fifty bucks. They will start leg twelve with no money which has never proven to be an obstacle. Rebecca feels her and Adam are a weaker team purely based on their inability to communicate. Adam says they need to come together and have their best leg yet. Rebecca believes they are a stronger team but have yet to prove that.
Next time on TAR: In a 2-hour season finale, exhaustion takes its toll on Freddy & Kendra. Rebecca struggles at a puzzling roadblock. Hayden & Aaron battle with a cab driver. One of these four underwhelming mactor 20-something couples will win The Amazing Race 6. Huzzah.
So we are left with four teams in the remaining two legs. Will Kris & Jon win to provide a satisfactory end to the season? Or will one of the other three teams win? We shall see.
***NOTE: I will not insert the Rank the Teams and Team Race Averages on legs with a non-elimination due to no change occurring***
Rank the Legs
1) Goree Island -> Berlin (In a leg where slavery and the Holocaust are memorialized, Kendra calls for a genocide of “Ghetto Africa” and Jonathan shoves his wife. This episode is perhaps the single most important episode to why TAR survived being taken off the air.)
2) Sirigiya -> Shanghai (The least infuriating episode of the season. Unless you are Adam and do not like being called ‘honey’.)
2) Corsica -> Lalibela (One of the least infuriating legs of the season. Yeah there was an equalizer at the ferry and yes it gave Hayden & Aaron plenty of time to render the non-elimination moot. The rest of the episode went smoothly. Kendra’s asthma, Adam and Lori’s eyes for details, Adam & Rebecca’s hoodie pulling, and Jonathan being eliminated from the race literally because of an a– is a great completion to his and Victoria’s storyline.)
3) Reykavik -> Voss (I s’pose it was okay. There were a couple equalizers but at least they drove themselves all leg. Jonathan & Victoria carry this episode from start to finish with their antics. Adam’s ridiculousness persists with doing the roadblock, lost sunglasses, and jumping on train tracks. A pit stop penalty and old people stealing cars makes it a memorable one.
4) Chicago -> Reykavik (Errors, errors everywhere and not a team running flawless. This two hour premiere featured a secret alliance where two of the teams in the alliance finished tenth and eleventh. Nothing original as several equalizers occur and tasks are modeled after TAR 3, 4, and 5. It was okay I guess?
5) Budapest -> Corsica (An equalizer followed by a good battle for flights followed by. . .ANOTHER EQUALIZER! This season smokes the first five seasons for the equalizer record. The only reason why this leg is so high is because of how the tasks were so inspired by such a tiny place. Seeing Rebecca & Adam go from being romantically involved at the start of the race to being a mother-son duo in episode eight is great. Kris’ Lucy face is memorable as well as Jonathan being a major hypocrite and useless at nearly every task this round.)
6) Lalibela -> Sirigiya (Late equalizers really drag down the quality of this leg. A break from Jonathan & Victoria’s screaming did make this leg more refreshing than a country that chooses to be poor. Elephant polo and three teams being set up to swim the length of a pool simultaneously are highlights. The episode was an equalizer or two less away from being at the top of the rankings. Rebecca puts Operation Pretend Boyfriend into effect.)
7) Stockholm -> Dakar (Taking mactors out of their comfort zone is always fun. The only episode where Jonathan comes off as the best cast member in an environment. His adventures with Ejal, Adam whining as he digs up salt, and Don puking into the water was fun. What wasn’t fun were the high number of equalizers and Kendra becoming the absolute least tolerant contestant out of all 114 people to run the race course. This leg would hold the record for earliest non-elimination for a really long time. It is for a good reason because all it did was keep a crappy team in longer.)
8) Budapest -> Budapest (First route marker opens at 10pm. Following route marker opens at 10am. The team that was twelve hours behind is in a position to be in first and win the Fast Forward. Detour appears to take about ten minutes total. Freddy and Hera run into a gate that leads to Freddy freaking out. We see Freddy eat his own puke while other racers endure spicy food and one of the kookiest musical bands I have heard in my life. I s’pose those were the best parts. The equalizers, Gus & Hera’s unexplained elimination, and an unnecessary train brawl results in this leg being annoying.)
9) Berlin -> Budapest or Eger depending on which team you are (Trivants, Jonathan being a superhero, and Jonathan being kicked out of a cab. Jonathan carries a lone cannonball, sweet talks a cop, and attacks Gus & Hera. Oh, and a million equalizers including the first ever To Be Continued leg. What a God Awful twist. -_- )
10) Voss -> Stockholm (F— you producers. Worst episode of all time.)