TAR 6 episode 5 ranking

Fifth leg

Previously on TAR: Teams traveled from Sweden to Senegal. Kendra does not like “Ghetto Africa” and found it unsettling. Don likes kids who are smiling and vomits in boats. Question of money brought Lori & Bolo into a two second fight. Don was proud of Mary Jean’s efforts, came in last, but were given a reprieve in the form of a non-elimination. Who will be eliminated next?

– Intro time. I wonder if Lena would have found a clue in a hay bale yet. Meredith & Maria were least adaptive for the race. End of intro.

– We’re introduced to Goree Island. It was the epicentre of the European slave trade. The eight teams are here. Don & Mary Jean weren’t eliminated but were stripped of all money. Will they be defeated by this obstacle or will their determination enable them to beat the odds? Kris & Jon who arrived at 12:52pm will depart at 12:52am. Find the Slave House in Goree. Kris claims they are running this race alone. Their cooperative efforts with Hayden & Aaron suggest otherwise. Jonathan & Victoria depart at 2:18am. Jonathan points out they have finished second in three out of the first four legs. He is frustrated they cannot fundamentally pull it together and finish first. Lori & Bolo a minute later. Lori says Bolo is stubborn but loves him. Hayden admits she has been sleepy with Aaron.

– Kendra’s strategy is to play low key in the beginning. Their only alliance is with Hayden & Aaron. Adam checks out and says him and Rebecca need to own this race more. Rebecca wants to follow people less and admits they are currently following the others.

REBECCA: I’d love to get out of Africa. I can see why so many people escaped.

The fact you say this as you go to a slave house memorial may not be the best timing.

– Gus & Hera depart at 245am. Gus thinks Hera is a woman who is focused and conscientious. Don & Mary Jean exit at 4:28am. Wow. Twice as far behind as the gap between the top seven teams combined. We get a similar History Channel lesson that resembles the Nelson Mandela Robben Island clue in TAR 2. We see a montage of teams reading the lesson about the slave house outside. At 830am each team will individually put a single rose on the archway and remember. New musical score for TAR. Jonathan smells the rose before putting it down. This music is straight out of Schindler’s List. Gus cries as he puts the rose down. Hera follows suit. Then they leave. Don & Mary Jean cry too.

– GUS: I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Hera.
HERA: You didn’t embarrass me.
GUS: I didn’t cry at my mother’s funeral, I didn’t cry at my father’s funeral, but when I went through those doors I saw myself (with or without the Fossilman glasses?) and then I started realizing that this is a connection to apart of yourself that you’ve never been fully able to connect with.

– Teams must then go to the symbol of triumph of oppression–The Berlin Wall. Sweet transition from slavery oppression to the destruction of the Berlin Wall that is a victory for human nature. Teams must find one of the few sections of the wall that still stands.

– Everyone scrambles to catch the ferry but Kris just misses it. The next ferry is not until 930am. Kendra says she would love to be back in Paris having a croissant. Don & Mary Jean refuse to beg for money from the locals. Will they end their race then and there? They beg for money from other teams. Jon gives eight. Jonathan gives  twenty. Lori gives five. Rebecca gives five after discussing with Adam that giving five bucks will not make or break the game. Hera gives five Euros. Freddy & Kendra give an unspecified amount and so does Aaron. Don & Mary Jean are confident they have more money than some of the other teams. Jonathan fist bumps with a local to guide a taxi to the airport.

– Hayden and Kendra arrange a deal to buy tickets for each other at the airport. The eight teams scramble into taxis. Gus & Hera walk to a travel agent. So do Kris & Jon. Lori & Bolo and Don & Mary Jean pass by Freddy & Kendra in the cab. Adam & Rebecca request travel agent.

KENDRA: This city is wretched and disgusting. And they just keep breeding and breeding in this poverty. I can’t take it.

The most offensive statement you will hear in twenty seasons. I wish to not analyze it.

– Jonathan & Victoria book a 715 flight. So do Gus’ team and Adam’s team. And Kris’ team. Dakar airport time. Hayden & Aaron, Don & Mary Jean, and Lori & Bolo are at the ticket counter. Hayden is at the front of the line with Lori right behind her. Then Don. Then Kendra.

– HAYDEN: I’m going to book tickets for Aaron and I and Freddy and Kendra.
BOLO: They shouldn’t be allowed to do that.
HAYDEN: You don’t need to make a scene right here.
LORI: Well you shouldn’t be cutting in line.
HAYDEN: We were here before you.

Talk to the Hand because the mactor doesn’t want to listen.

– Kendra tries to give Hayden their passport.

Bolo tells them otherwise. Care to challenge a professional wrestler, Kendra? Are you prepared to get “Ghetto Africa” on him?

BOLO: Keep your mouth shut. (Did he just imitate James Clement from the second episode of Heroes vs. Villains?)
HAYDEN: I don’t need to keep my mouth shut. (You don’t NEED to. It’s just that the audience WANTS you to.)
BOLO: We’re in line they’re cutting.

The Senegalese ticketing agent looks on with concern. Or boredom. A random shot if you ask me.

LORI: They’re behind in line and we’re busting our a– while they’re over there. And y’all four do your little alliance.
KENDRA: It’s always gonna be that way. Get used to it.
BOLO: Just be quiet mouth.
LORI: Shut up.
KENDRA: Barbarian.
BOLO: Just shut up.
Heh. Lori & Bolo are my favourite. Kendra inserts herself into a conversation that has nothing to do with her and they have none of it.

HAYDEN: You can’t talk to me that way.
BOLO: I can talk to you that way if I want to. However I want to.
AARON: Bolo, shut your mouth.

Dang. This argument has clearly gone on for a while. Just imagine these four all cramped into this tiny office, Kendra occasionally interrupting, and Don & Mary Jean awkwardly standing on the sidelines. Also, Aaron matched Bolo’s pro wrestling lingo by quoting The Rock. All that is left is to tell Bolo to know his role.

BOLO: What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do?
HAYDEN: You’re not fighting, you’re not fighting.

Hayden braces her arms against Bolo so she can feel his incredible pecs and to calm the situation. I love Lori’s reaction. WHAAAAAAAAT.

BOLO: Get your hands off me.

Aaron comes in with the first punch. . .

And Hayden comes in with the knockout punch. Steroid accusations should bode well for pro wrestlers.

Zee Awkward. We go to commercial.

– Hayden gives up. Says there’s too much commotion. Her and Bolo agree that it got out of hand. Kendra is left knocking on the door without anyone letting her in. Bolo jokingly says that he wants to set the record straight that he is not on steroids. Hayden cracks up laughing at how ridiculous it got. And everything is back to normal. Until Adam shows up.

– The situation looks even more ridiculous when all eight teams end up on the same flight regardless. All that locomotion for nothing. Teams are now flying to Germany in twenty seconds to East Side Gallery.

Do I need to tell you who said that? Yes, it was Kendra.

– JONATHAN: Beautiful city. You’ve got to have an appreciation for the people that built Mercedes.

– GUS: The game is afoot.

– Don & Mary Jean are the last team to a cab. They are taken to the subway and told to take S-Bahn. Freddy & Kendra are first to S-Bahn. Jonathan & Victoria  and Kris & Jon are told they need the U-Bahn but several people say S-Bahn is the correct route. Adam & Rebecca follow Jonathan & Victoria. Jonathan shakes his head and says it is not right for them to follow. Rebecca says she is following him because is smart. Kris & Jon are stubborn and try to take U-Bahn but are finally talked into taking S-Bahn.

– Kris & Jon, Gus & Hera, and Hayden & Aaron are on S-Bahn. Lori & Bolo get on the next one. Then Don & Mary Jean on the last train. Still eighth.

– The three leading teams search for the East Side Gallery. Two of the teams run inside the wall but Jonathan & Victoria run alongside it to find the clue. Next route marker is at the Broken Chain Sculpture. However its real name is so difficult to pronounce that Phil opts for ‘broken chain sculpture’.

– Gus has an enlightening moment that humans are capable of so much horror. Freddy & Kendra slide under a gate to get out of the Berlin Wall.  If only it were that easy to escape sixty years ago. They backtrack as the three teams on the other train are tied with them as they all get to the clue. Lori and Don get to the clue as well.

– Jonathan & Victoria are first to the glitterschnitzel/broken chain sculpture/destroyed church. Detour time. Beer or Brats. In Beer, teams will go to a bar house and pick up stynes of beer. They will search the house for coasters with their face on it. When they find a coaster they will trade two full stynes for it. Repeat this process until they find five coasters. In Brats, teams go to a sausage factory called a citadel they must use a hand-operated sausage maker to create one continuous link of five bratsworth links. Each link must be at least seven inches. Victoria suggests they do links.

JONATHAN: How hard can it be to make sausage links?
VICTORIA: I don’t know. We’re about to find out.
JONATHAN: Oh please. I’ve seen Lucy do it in I Love Lucy. If she can do it I can do it.

#1 Lucille Ball fan. Jonathan hums the theme song in the shower every morning. It’s catchy. If Jonathan had to do the chocolate roadblock from TAR 5, he would be stuffing all of the chocolates into his shirt because he’d be overwhelmed by how many of them there are.

– Beer House for Kris & Jon. They find the clue and get on the train alone. Gus & Hera go to beers and so do Aaron.

AARON: We’re doing the beers. It’s exactly what I wanted to do. Maybe we get to drink some beers. Some beers. . . .The Beers.

If the starting line was not in Chicago, I doubt Aaron would pull in that witty reference at the last second. The incoherency of his rant leads me to believe he is extremely worn out. Adam and Lori are both doing bratsworth. Freddy is seventh and are doing beers.

Victoria is man-handling that sausage machine. Er, a little too well. Her experiences in the PlayBoy Mansion are really coming in handy. Did I say handy? I wish to strike that statement from the record.

Meanwhile it’s just the norm for an accordion player to be hanging out in the aisles of a beer house.

– Freddy & Kendra have leapt to third place. They find their first two coasters. Suddenly they are in first place. Coasters and sausage making race. Don & Mary Jean are lost at the broken chain sculpture. They cannot find the clue after about an hour.

Maybe ask him? He should be friendly. Don’t judge a book by its silver coating.

– They are more blind than Kami & Karli from last season. They do find it. They’ll make links.

– Jonathan & Victoria are done the detour first. They must now make their way to Teufelsberg a.k.a. Devil’s Mountain. This is where their next clue awaits. Jonathan yells at Victoria to run as Lori & Bolo enter. He yells at her in the cab.

VICTORIA: Jon, leave me alone.
JONATHAN: I promised to never leave you alone. That’s why I married you.

This quote has always stuck in my head because I have never heard my dad laugh so loud because of something he heard in TAR or Survivor. He just about lost it when Jonathan made this comment.

– Hayden & Aaron and Freddy & Kendra showed each other to their last coaster. Aaron drank some of the beer before leaving. The cabbie for Hayden gets directions. Freddy’s cab meanwhile knows where to go.

– Hera asks for Gus & Hera coasters. Then switches to black people.

– Lori & Bolo’s sausage are too short. That’s what happens when your sausage has consumed too much steroids. It shrinks in length. Adam meanwhile finds this task amusing. Kris & Jon finally get to the beer house after losing time for reasons unknown and unspecified to the viewer.

Yep. That’s Gus drinking beer from another table. Hera questions if the rules of the challenge let him do so. Potential pit stop penalty?

And here we have Bolo eating sausage that has penetrated his nose. Adam is disgusted by it and screams “ew he’s eating the sausage!” like a second grader.

Gus drinks more of the beer that is meant for another table. He may beat Fairplay’s record for highest blood alcohol level during a reality TV competition at this rate. Kris & Jon pass Gus as Gus is too busy stumbling around from drinking all the beer. Lori & Bolo are done and keep walking until they catch a train.

– REBECCA: We have seven inches.
ADAM: I want more than seven inches! I need a pump. Can I get one of these for my home?
REBECCA: Adam, please go.

Survey says Adam feels inadequate.

REBECCA: The last one is girthy and lengthy. That one is big, big. We like big ones.

Adam & Rebecca get their clue.

DON: Go ahead push it in nice and slow. . .cause I’ve gotta get this thing FULL.
MARY JEAN: I’m pushing as hard as I can.
DON: Keep going keep going, stop stop. Hey we’re doing pretty good at this!
MARY JEAN (confessional):  We were going seven inches, seven inches, and I was like oh my god! Seven inches is really big.

The first time Mary Jean has seen something with this shape at least seven inches in twenty years.

– They are done the detour. Lori & Bolo are on the train and told it was the wrong one. A guy on the train agrees to walk with them and takes them to a new train that will stop at Teufelsberg.

– Roadblock time. In this roadblock the person has to climb to the top of Devil’s Mountain, climb in a soapbox derby car, and go down the winding mountain to the bottom in less than thirty-seven seconds. “Who has the need for speed?” Jonathan is enthusiastic and agrees to do it instantly. He does the roadblock without any teams coming. Pit stop time. Choose a marked car and drive into downtown Berlin to a marked biking area. Park there and run to the Brandenburg Gate. It is a symbol for Germany’s reunification after the Cold War. The last team to arrive should be eliminated.

– They find a cab to ask directions. Jonathan screams another team is coming and screams for Victoria to come away from the cab and get inside. If I were them I would have hired the cab to take me but oh well. Freddy & Kendra are that other team and Freddy does the roadblock. Kendra is happy to be in a Mercedes. They hire a cab to take them. Hayden does the roadblock successfully. Hayden & Aaron get into the Mercedes as Hera and Jon run up to the soapboxes. Hera and Jon get to ride simultaneously so they have a legit race.

The biggest soapbox they have participated in since they witnessed a soapbox derby in the TV show Recess from the sixth grade.

They finish in a tie at thirty-five seconds. Afterwards they split a cab that will drive them to the pit stop. Lori & Bolo are in the middle of a forest a the base of Teufelsberg. They lost a solid hour not taking a cab. Lori’s only quote for the past ten minutes has been to take a cab. Rebecca does the roadblock in the quickest time of any team. Adam is driving the Mercedes as Rebecca navigates. Don tells us that as long as Phil does not tell you you are eliminated then you are still in the race. Oh Gee.

– JONATHAN: Where are we going in this?
VICTORIA: If I could just find that map that we have we’d be just fine, but I can’t find it.
JONATHAN: If another team beats us Victoria, I’m going to lose it.
VICTORIA: Then lose it, okay Jon?
JONATHAN: I’M GONNA LOSE IT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET IT RIGHT ON THE GROUND!

Eh, it’s just an empty threat by Jonathan. I am certain nothing will happen if, say, Freddy & Kendra pass them on the way to the pit stop.

– Jonathan & Victoria pull over the side of the road so Victoria can drive. She gets in but can’t reach the pedals. Freddy & Kendra pass them.

– They find the marked biking area. Freddy takes the time to pay his cab (in full amount for once) and thanks him for his help. This lets Jonathan & Victoria slip into the lead. What are the most brilliant things you can do in a foot race to the finish?

1. Stop to ask a stranger to watch your bags. Your partner (Victoria) tells you not to do so and keep running. We want a seven-night cruise to the Caribbean on the Royal Caribbean’s Voyager of the Seas, dammit!

JONATHAN: I can’t do it Victoria!
VICTORIA: Let’s go let’s go we don’t have time. It’s here, c’mon Jon.
JONATHAN: Victoriaaaa, I can’t do it.
VICTORIA: It’s here, c’mon Jon.

The gate is in sight. Freddy & Kendra are still a good thirty seconds behind them. Kendra ain’t a fast runner.

2. Jonathan drops his bag, but Victoria doesn’t. In the past couple episodes it has been reinforced that Victoria’s bag is noticeably heavier than Jonathan’s. A 40-something former PlayBoy model does not exactly pack light. There are five pounds worth of lingerie alone. Jonathan is a businessman at the mansion and I am sure his pack is somewhat heavy but nowhere near Victoria’s. Victoria has even said before that she would love to trade backpacks.

So Jonathan throws his bags over the fence and suggests Victoria to do the same. There is no reason to not do so. Production wouldn’t let your bags be stolen at the pit stop. Although this is the most public pit stop they’ve had so it might be an uncontrolled element of the race. Victoria screams the “NO THEY’RE GONNA TAKE IT!” line. She is adamant it will be stolen. So what does she do?

3. Have one partner take both bags.

I thought when this aired that Jonathan told Victoria to take both bags, but Victoria did it of her own accord. She could’ve dropped her bag and had zero backpacks on but instead takes two bags. Freddy was ahead but Kendra is lollygagging behind.

– Freddy notices how slow Kendra is and takes her bag. They both outrun Victoria. I should note Victoria is crying on the level of HYSTERICS right now. I have not seen that type of hysterical crying since I read a Victorian novel (brilliant pun not initially intended) that used hysterical crying as a way to demean women. Jonathan continues to run ahead.

See how much faster Jonathan is running without a single pack? It no longer matters as Freddy & Kendra have passed Victoria.

VICTORIA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I CAN’T DO IT. I CAN’T DO IT. CRYCRYCRYCRYCRY.
JONATHAN: WHY DID YOU PACK UP MY BAG? WHY?!

– Freddy & Kendra are approaching the pit stop. The music transitions from ‘meltdown’ to ‘victory’ within seconds. How awkward of a transition. It does not feel natural.. My guess is they’ve won an exotic trip.
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.
.
.
.
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EXOTIC MEXICO! We have a winner! I got one. Finally. They celebrate loudly. I personally think that’s a mistake considering the incident that occurred ahead then eventually behind them.

– JONATHAN: Why did you stop to pick up my bag? How could you stop to pick up my bag? How could you do it!
VICTORIA: CRYCRYCRY.

What does Jonathan think about Victoria picking up his bag? I am sure it will be a friendly gesture.

Is that his hand on her bag?

Ah. ‘Twas a shove. Eh. Nothing exciting. Let’s move on.

Uh, you’re team number two, aren’t you?

By the way Jonathan sarcastically tosses his bag down at the pit stop and shakes Phil’s hand who is wearing an epic frown. He shakes his hand as if they didn’t have the biggest intrateam blow up on the way to the pit stop. Amazing.

– PHIL: Jonathan & Victoria, you’re team number two.
JONATHAN (shakes hand): Thank you.
VICTORIA: Why couldn’t you carry it yourself?
JONATHAN: I do it for a reason. You didn’t have to stop and pick it up!
VICTORIA: But it wasn’t gonna be there.
JONATHAN: You know what? That’s my bag! I should’ve been able to do that.
*Victoria exits the room*
VICTORIA: CRYCRYCRY
JONATHAN: She has to live with her choices. We should have left it, we should’ve gone, and we woulda been here.

Hmmmm. Maybe I should break my code of silence for once?

PHIL: Jonathan, I think you should probably go talk to Victoria.
*
*
JONATHAN: Why did you pick up my bag Victoria?
VICTORIA: I don’t have anything to say to you.
JONATHAN: I’ve got nothing to say to you either. This is a race. This isn’t about compassion!

End scene. I’ll talk more about this later.

– Lori does the roadblock in two seconds. Mary Jean does the roadblock next. She completes it and crashes into the hay bales along the edges. Lena has been hired to unroll the bales after this.

– Hayden & Aaron, Kris & Jon, Gus & Hera, and Adam & Rebecca check in within seven seconds. Gus & Hera let Kris & Jon check in ahead of them because they followed them there. Good sign of class.

– Fifteen seconds of suspense as Lori & Bolo are seventh. Don & Mary Jean are last. No shocker there. Mary Jean is happy that Don pushed himself to physical limits that she had never seen him do. Don thinks anybody would be lucky to have the type of relationship that he has with Mary Jean.

– Next time on TAR: Jonathan & Victoria wage a battle of the sexes. And Kendra gets sick. A relatively uneventful episode it appears.

So that was it. Wait, did I say ‘that was it?’ I mean ‘wow’.

For anyone who was alive in 2004 and had Internet or television, you heard about this incident. You did. Period. Kendra’s quote was in the shadows but ultimately a shove that lasted .5 seconds is what stole the headlines. Kendra got a huge break because if there was no shove she would have been controversial.

Oddly enough, a shove which should have been punished was Jonathan & Victoria’s source for doing a bunch of TV appearances. Jonathan went on Dr. Phil which was new and still relatively current at the time. They would be on Reality TV Fear Factor edition. Jonathan versus Joe Rogan is perhaps the most watched reality TV clip on YouTube. Nearly three million views if I recall. If you have not seen it check it out ASAP.

When I saw this I never expected outcry over the shove clip but rather the ridiculousness of their interactions during the whole foot race. No one could have expected that the hardcore fans, the casuals, and those who rarely watch the show or not at all would find out about the incident.

I hate to say it but after airing someone’s desire to stop the breeding of those in poverty and spousal abuse, TAR secured enough viewership for at least the next few seasons. The audience was tuning in with one thing in mind: What will Jonathan & Victoria do next?  The rest of the teams are unlikeable, boring, or Gus & Hera. Bertram Van Munster should have wrote a 100k cheque to Jonathan & Victoria for keeping the show alive because there is no doubt in my mind TAR 6 would not have avoided cancelation given the groan-worthy cast.

P.S. I read an article a couple weeks ago on EW about Colton Cumbie. The writer said Colton is one of the most hated people as opposed to ‘love to hate’. The writer proceeded to take the most hated person from about twenty TV franchises. The representative for TAR?

Jonathan & Victoria. The least memorable season survives eight years solely because Jonathan & Victoria were that freakin’ hated. Few contestants have that type of legacy in any franchise.
Confessionals

Adam&Rebecca 1.2
Don&Mary Jean 3.6
Freddy&Kendra 2.5
Gus&Hera 5.2
Hayden&Aaron 1.1
Jonathan&Victoria 3.0
Kris&Jon 2.0
Lori&Bolo 2.1

12th Debra & Steve 12.0
12th Gina & Sylvia 12.0
11th Team Seinfeld/Avi & Joe 11.0
11th Dennis & Erika 11.0
11th Deidre & Hilary 11.0
11th Matt & Ana 11.0
9th Peggy & Claire 9.0
10th Meredith & Maria 9.0
10th Dennis & Andrew 9.0 FF
10th Russell & Cindy 8.33
8th Don & Mary Jean 8.2
10th Kim & Leslie 8.0
9th Jim & Marsha 7.33
8th Dave & Margaretta 7.0
9th Lena & Kristy 7.0
10th Hope & Norm 7.0
6th Lenny & Karyn 6.43
7th Paul & Amie 6.2
8th Steve & Dave 6.2 FF
11th Amanda & Chris 6.0
6th Andre & Damon 5.86
5th Kami & Karli 5.8
8th Michael & Kathy 5.8
7th Cyndi & Russell 5.8

9th Heather & Eve 5.75
5th Nancy & Emily 5.67
10th Alison & Donny 5.5
6th Tian & Jaree 5.43 FF
7th Monica & Sheree 5.33 FF
7th Marshall & Lance 5.33
8th Bob & Joyce 5.25
7th Silver & Gold 5.17
9th Steve & Josh 5.0 – FF
9th Pat & Brenda 5.0 – FF
5th John Vito & Jill 4.8 – FF
2nd Teri & Ian 4.53 – FF
8th Shola & Doyin 4.25 – FF
4th Linda & Karen 4.17
6th Mary & Peach 4.14 (Two failed FF attempts.)
3rd David & Jeff 4.00 – FF
4th Oswald & Danny 4.00 – FF
5th Gary & Dave 3.89 – FF
2nd Kelly & Jon 3.85
4th Jon & Al 3.73
6th Charla & Mirna 3.71
3rd Blake & Paige 3.69 – FF
5th Millie & Chuck 3.67 FF
1st Chris & Alex 3.38 – FF
1st Chip & Kim 3.38
4th Kevin & Drew 3.36 – FF
3rd Brandon & Nicole 3.31
1st Reichen & DK 3.15 – FF
4th Derek & Drew 3.10 – FF
3rd Joe & Bill 2.76 – FF
2nd Tara & Wil 2.53 – FF
1st Flo & Zach 2.69 – FF
3rd Ken & Gerard 2.69 – FF
2nd Colin & Christie 2.54 – FF
1st Rob & Brennan – 2.46 FF
2nd Frank & Margarita 2.38 – FF

Rank The Teams

4) Meredith & Maria

Neither of them could drive a stick. Neither of them could follow directions. Neither of them could do any of the tasks well. The out of shape 70 year olds beat them in a physical task. They are good people, but production loses marks for not catching on that this team is incapable of doing virtually any tasks on the Race. Why cast them if you know they will need a miracle or an insane number of equalizers to survive each round?

3) Don & Mary Jean

They earn points for refusing to beg money from locals. They stole cars. They misread clues. They could not find clues. Don was spontaneous and puked in the water to catch fish. I guess they weren’t too bland for the token old couple. Their record of not finishing better than eighth after five legs will not be beat.

2) Avi & Joe

They looked exactly like characters from Seinfeld. Avi had the potential to be one of the most polarizing players in TAR history. It is about as good cop/bad cop as a team could ever get in TAR. I must say it really was too bad that these two went home so early. Avi taunted at teams as he passed them in a car and Joe was a ‘nice guy’ to the others. We will forever question how their storyline would have played out if it wasn’t for a late leg error.

1) Lena & Kristy

They are the only all-female team in the past couple seasons to not talk about the ‘we need a female team to win!!!!1111oneoneone’ crap. Therefore, that alone made me be fans of theirs. They screwed up in the first couple legs but ran a nearly flawless third leg. However it was the same leg when production made its most poorly thought out roadblock in the history of TAR. I wish they would have let Lena find a clue before going onto the course and eliminating them. At least give her that satisfaction.

Rank the Legs

1) Goree Island -> Berlin (In a leg where slavery and the Holocaust are memorialized, Kendra calls for a genocide of “Ghetto Africa” and Jonathan shoves his wife. This episode is perhaps the single most important episode to why TAR survived being taken off the air.)

2) Reykavik -> Voss (I s’pose it was okay. There were a couple equalizers but at least they drove themselves all leg. Jonathan & Victoria carry this episode from start to finish with their antics. Adam’s ridiculousness persists with doing the roadblock, lost sunglasses, and jumping on train tracks. A pit stop penalty and old people stealing cars makes it a memorable one.

3) Chicago -> Reykavik (Errors, errors everywhere and not a team running flawless. This two hour premiere featured a secret alliance where two of the teams in the alliance finished tenth and eleventh. Nothing original as several equalizers occur and tasks are modeled after TAR 3, 4, and 5. It was okay I guess?

4) Stockholm -> Dakar (Taking mactors out of their comfort zone is always fun. The only episode where Jonathan comes off as the best cast member in an environment. His adventures with Ejal, Adam whining as he digs up salt, and Don puking into the water was fun. What wasn’t fun were the high number of equalizers and Kendra becoming the absolute least tolerant contestant out of all 114 people to run the race course. This leg would hold the record for earliest non-elimination for a really long time. It is for a good reason because all it did was keep a crappy team in longer.)

5) Voss -> Stockholm (F— you producers. Worst episode of all time.)

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