TUF 4 episode 9

Episode 9:

Previously on TUF: All four Team Mojo welterweights are in the semi-finals. That nearly happened for the middleweights but Travis Lutter snuck in to defeat Scott Smith. Today Dana will be more present than ever as he decides the semi-final and potential final match-ups that will bring in the highest number of ratings possible. Will Serra and Shonie be set up to fight in the final? That’s what Dana must be thinking. Randy and GSP I imagine would be shown to help with picking the match-ups.

– Recap of the previous fight. Jorge brilliantly threw Cote a few times until the upward kick. It is shown in slow-motion a few times. It reminds me of Charlie Murphy’s kick to Rick James that sends Rick into the mirror and shatters the glass. Eventually Spratt tells us that Cote won by decision.

– Matt Hughes’ shorts jeans are shown until he enters the gym unannounced. He greets GSP. I s’pose Dana wants to pump up the hype for the title belt re-match. GSP exits with Shonie’s studded hat because he does not want to be in the same room sharing techniques with his future opponent.

– Hughes is the opposite of Franklin. He helped train all of the fighters including Matt Serra. Hughes must not feel threatened by any of the welterweights in the house. Or he might be convinced that he will drop his title to GSP.

– Dana calls in the fighters in the semis one by one. Travis says he does not care who he fights. Drago says he wants him and Cote to be in the finals. He wants Cote to have the easier path and will take the harder fight to get into the finals. Nobody else is shown.

– Dana says the first match-up will be Drago vs. Lutter. Therefore Cote vs. DeWees. It is revealed the winner will receive not only 100k and a title fight, but also a 100k sponsourship deal with Xyience. Keith Jardine is not around to say that he goes through Xyience like blueberries.

– Welterweights time. Serra thinks the meeting is like the JedI Council. He instantly says he wishes to fight Shonie Carter. Revenge is on the line. Din comes in next to pick Lytle as an opponent. Mr. International follows.

–  INTERNATIONAL: So I come in cool as a cucumber on an iceberg in the Antarctic. Chillin.

– INTERNATIONAL: Don’t beat the peasants. Beat the king.

That’s all he says when deciding his match-up.

Please note Shonie is wearing an outdated suit jacket and a black and white striped hat backwards.

– Lytle comes in. He is hopping around who he thinks should fight. He finally decides on Mr. International.

– Announcement time. Suspenseful music is played. I have not heard them use that drum track before. HEH. SHONIE IS WEARING WICKED GLASSES! Dana tells them about the 100k sponsourship with Xyience too.

First match-up: Din Thomas vs. Chris Lytle.
Second match-up: Mr. International vs. Matt Serra.

Boo. I wanted International and Serra to engage in the finals.

– Matt Hughes takes all of the fighters to a sushi dinner. Expensiiiive.

– Din is sitting across from GSP. Matt is taunting GSP from the other side of the room. Din says to kick Hughes’ a–. Matt says he saw Din’s lips moving because they are not small. Uhhhh, did that comment get aired on cable television? Wow.

– Prediction: Din wins.

– Lytle and Din are sparring together before the fight. Din states that they cook for each other so it is a 50/50 relationship.

– International ruminates over the looming fight. He is in awe of the match-up.

– Dana for the first time all season cannot pick a winner and believes these two are evenly matched in skill.

– INTERNATIONAL: You got the hardworking farmer trying to chase the rooster.
. . . Right.

– Din’s advantage is that he has been preparing to fight Chris with Chris. Weigh-ins are brief then it cuts to Fight Day. Whoa, Din is already in the octagon! Am I typing that slowly? I thought I have been scrambling.


– Winner of this fight advances to the live finale (episode 13).

– Mazzagatti is our referee. This fight must go to decision. They are moving quickly on their feet. Both are firing half-hearted punches. Lytle fires a sidearm Eckersley punch but Din ducks and brings it to the ground. Unfortunate choice because Din is on the bottom and pulls full guard. This is the only negative aspect to two evenly matched fighters in the octagon–the ground game may freeze the match like a cucumber on an iceberg in the Antarctic. Ninety seconds in and nobody is improving position. Mazzagatti warns them. Not much else to report. 2:40 remains. At 2:33 Mazzagatti makes the correct choice and stands them up. Nobody is landing anything. Whoa. Lytle fires but Din goes in to shoot and they do a dance until they both fall against the cage. Lytle must be better on the ground because he is on top against Din. Both are using their feet against the cage as leverage. Lytle is digging his right foot into the gap. Now they are too far from the cage. These two are too good of friends. Far too much respect. The punches are weak as s—. Din has an arm around Lytle’s neck but there is nothing on it. Sure enough Chris pulls his head out and we are back in the same dance. Mazzagatti stands them up with four seconds left. The clock runs out but they have fought for a full twenty seconds. Both are exchanging punches but nobody is landing. Lytle is being wild but he is telegraphing it to Din. It seems Din is landing the smaller contact punches. This SIX minute round is over. Dana is concerned.

– I was not hallucinating. The timekeeper for the Nevada Athletic Commission did go six minutes. It is the first time a timekeeper has gone over five minutes ever in the history of UFC. Apparently the timekeeper does not go over five minutes by say three or four seconds, but by an entire minute. He must not be a fan of the UFC.

– Start of round two. Din and Lytle resume swinging for the KO punch. Lytle lands a good body kick. Din is countering further kicks. Din launches a scissor kick that puts him onto the ground. Lytle is in Din’s guard. Din is losing both rounds thus far. Four minutes remain. Din needs to make something happen. Luckily Chris has done virtually nothing that it might be closer than we think. Mazzagatti stands them up at 3:33. Both are standing attempting to land combinations. The kicks are too soft because I cannot hear them. Ever heard leg kicks in the UFC? They echo throughout the whole freakin’ stadium. Neither fighter is bruised nor bleeding. Lytle landed some good punches on Din’s head during a clinch. They break. Din shoots for a clinch. Lytle is pressed against the fence. Din foot stomps Lytle. Chris reverses it and puts Din against the fence. They are dirty boxing against the fence. Lytle is issuing foot stomps of his own. More dirty boxing that Lytle is getting the better of. They walk around until they meet in the centre of the cage. Lytle launches a body kick. Din lands a couple punches. Lytle misses with an overhand punch. They throw weak punches until a clinch. A knee by Chris. Couple punches by Din. End of round and ultimately end of match I believe.

– Heh, I forgot semis are three rounds. My bad. Action better pick up. They meet in the centre to trade strikes. Din shoots in and takes down Chris for the first time all match. Lytle sweeps instantly and is in an awkward position. Okay, full guard. Four minutes left in this crappy match. Better than a TUF 2 Rashad fight I will admit. Both are working harder on the ground than usual. Lytle is not moving his legs whatsoever though. Din is throwing annoying punches and grabbing Lytle’s head. None of these techniques are effective. Mazzagatti stands them up for the third time. They are willing to trade for about ten seconds until a clinch. Din is against the fence. He reverses position. Chris reverses position. Din is holding Chris’ head. Lytle yanks it out. Chris throws a wimpy knee. They drift from the cage and break the clinch. Both are landing strikes until they clinch. Din is against the fence and using his elbow to create distance. Chris uses underhooks to pull Din up and bring him to the mat. Din’s legs are against the fence but Lytle directs him away from the fence. Chris’ legs have been stationary in every second of the ground game. Thirty seconds left. This is Chris’ boring match to lose. I really hope Lytle does not win. Mazzagatti stands them up with sixteen seconds. Din is anxious to strike but they merely do some rolly-polly maneuvres on the ground.

– Fight recap. Lytle wants to establish being the heavier striker. Din was surprised given the weaker strikes usually observed in training. Din thought he won round two. No way. This is 30-27 all around unless Peoples is in the booth.

– Winner by unanimous decision is Chris Lytle. Din raises him up in victory. All fighters are applauding. It is Din’s turn to sit in the loser’s chair and bury his face into his hands.

– Geez Lytle is so unmemorable in confessionals.

Next time on TUF: Serra has his tenth episode confrontation. Somebody wears a clown wig and speedo to taunt Shonie. Serra and Shonie get their long-awaited re-match as we are shown that same effing spinning backfist.

So I was wrong on another fight. As you can see very few confessionals were shown this episode. Seventeen minutes spent on the fight, Dana talking more than ever in four gym meetings, GSP and Hughes feuding all amount to very little focus.

1) Edwin DeWees vs. Gideon Ray (As Dexter said in the hotel room during season one: “So much blood. . .so much blood”. I have seen some blood baths in the UFC but that fight should be PVR’d by John McCain. Anybody who is advocating against the UFC needs to show this fight to those on the fence and they will agree to ban UFC once and for all. The fight makes history for being the first to go to sudden victory which means five fewer minutes of showing promotional crap leading up to the fight or redundant s— in the house. It helps that both fighters are even and seeing DeWees overcome bleeding out a quarter of his body was impressive.

2) Chris Lytle vs. Pete Spratt (The short and sweet fights need to be sprinkled in any season of TUF. Lytle picks up the first submission as he uses a rare armpit choke to gain the victory. How many armpit chokes can you claim to witnessing? Go ahead. I’ll be here waiting.

3) Din Thomas vs. Mikey Burnett (Mikey “Nothing Bothers Me-But What Bothers Me” Burnett’s return to the octagon. Seven years! It was neat to see old school fight competitively against new school. It turned out to be old school’s striking vs. new school’s ground game. Din was getting hit but Mikey was made a fool on the ground. Both wished to bring the game into their realm and Din succeeded. A slick triangle choke gives him the win and earns himself a decent slot in this fight ranking.)

4) Mr. International vs. Rich Clementi (Season premiere fights are typically a dud, or in the case of Kenny from TUF 2, they don’t happen at all. This one is the first to break the disappointment streak. These two were even and had some good exchanges during the fight. This battle neither excelled nor failed, and is a great way for viewers to orient themselves and look forward to seeing what the season has in store. Also, International nearly tops Leben’s urination and drunkenness for most outrageous season premiere. Nearly. Urine trumps cubic zirconia when it comes to TUF. Sorry Shonie, but I don’t make the rules.)

5) Patrick Cote vs. Jorge Rivera (Arguably two of the biggest names in the house square off. Cote’s upward kick was pretty neat. Neither fighter was imposing their will entirely on the other. Although Cote was the clear winner there were several times where Jorge was very much in the fight. Add in the fact that I liked both fighters prior to this fight and you have a match that delivers quite well. They were both very good on the ground.)

6) Scott Smith vs. Travis Lutter (It’s not a bad fight. A textbook rear naked choke in a little over a minute won’t go down as being too memorable. If this were season two I believe this fight would be near the top for pre-finale fights. However, this season has put up excellent match-ups that this fight had too much of an expectation for it to avoid the bottom. Good on Lutter for faking that punch. Great technique.)

7) Matt Serra vs. Pete Spratt (This fight was one-sided. Luckily it ended after four minutes because Spratt was not doing crap. It would be higher if Serra advanced position faster.)

8) Pete Sell vs. Charles McCarthy (These guys were not the most conditioned of fighters. They were moving progressively slower as the fight went on and were too willing to take it to the ground and stall. There were some close submissions. A sudden victory round is great but not too great when the fighters have nothing more than thirty seconds worth of fight in them. This is one of the best seasons for fights if this is the worst fight as of episode six. Gotta love McCarthy’s farewell that was essentially cut short for time. It reminds me of a Survivor contestant’s cut-off final words.)

9) Chris Lytle vs. Din Thomas (One of the least beat up I have seen two non-heavyweights exit a fight. They threw plenty of strikes but none of them appeared to have an impact and few connected. They were restarted three times during the fight. Nobody worked for position on the ground to be in either half mount, side control, or full mount. You could tell these were two friends in combat.









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