Previously on TUF: Team Mo Joe has won three fights consecutively. International is singing about Charles McCarthy. Can Team No Love turn it around before it is too late? And that’s it for the intro. They also made a point to show Edwin DeWees blood. You can show anything on cable, I s’pose.
Prediction: Mojo wins this episode’s fight.
– We recap the previous fight of Lytle and Spratt. Scott Smith speaks! Din Thomas cuts in but then the darkness of Matt Serra comes onto the scene and kills the mood. My David Healy has been erased. Seriously, is Matt Serra Dana’s brother-in-law? Serra isn’t that interesting.
– Cote ties Alex Schoenweiss and Seth Petruzelli by remaining silent until episode four. Everyone assumes Cote is fighting. No Love thinks it will be Lutter but McCarthy in particular says he will be prepared. I don’t think it will be Cote but I am under the impression it will be McCarthy.
– No Love is at the table while Sell is in the kitchen. Travis and the others are attempting to coerce information regarding who will fight next.
– Lutter calls Sell a b—. He asks if that’s how he talks on the farm. Sell says he would love to fight Lutter. That of course means it won’t happen.
– Scott Smith finds pimples under his armpit. Other players are itchy and finding rashes. Pete Sell says he’s had bumps on his “f—ing big toe” and we’re off to the emergency room.
– They have staph infections. Dana says staph infection is tough to contain. Serra says the mats are filthy. Couture says a hot, sweaty, and confined environment is a breeding ground for germs. I agree.
– Din Thomas says black guys don’t get ringworm or staph because of the mellen or whatever that chemical is called helps keep it away. Although doesn’t that only apply to malaria? Serra interjects saying he’s seen black guys with infections. Din Thomas couldn’t get away with White Man ignorance. Serra has been around. Black guys with skin infection is when you truly have seen it all /sarcasm.
– Another dang scene with Serra strategizing for picks. He is Sell’s mentor. Serra says he has to calm down and get past the incident with Lutter and wants him to fight McCarthy. Sell mocks Serra saying he’s the manager and sighs. Sell appears to really want to fight Lutter.
– Jeremy says he has slept in his car for the past six months and eating cans of soup. Din expresses sympathy for the situation. Jeremy doesn’t want to sleep in his trunk anymore. He wants to put some money and not be thrown out of a window. So if you don’t have money you get thrown out of windows? I don’t get it.
– GSP is taking out the fighters to the water park that has a swimming pool. Jeremy sneaks with the female lifeguard. He drew a map to meet her at the House at midnight. Uh oh. This spells trouble. You can’t have outsiders on the Commune!
– Jackson says they were hanging around the fire at midnight. He says it was the first time they ever did it and it so happens to be the night he needed to meet the woman. Jackson says he’s tired which encourages everyone to sleep. Jeremy then says he needs to urinate which was an excuse to jump the fence. Apparently urinating outside is acceptable for the other fifteen fighters. Wasn’t there a skin infection concerning bacteria in confined areas?
– Phone call. No training today. Practice is cancelled. Puffy is shutting down the studio. I think Scott Smith was the one who answered the phone.
– Cut to Jeremy and Serra. Jackson knows what’s happening. He says something happened. Serra is teasing him about it. Scott heard that somebody broke the rules and that someone hooked up with the lifeguard. Jeremy steps up to it. Serra makes fun of him and makes references to his pants. They’re all waiting for Principal White to bust them.
– Dana approaches and everyone on both teams scatters away from Jeremy. One of them thinks Jeremy’s c— will be put in an open door and Dana will slam the door shut.
– Speech time. Dana says it’s the opportunity of a lifetime. He wants respect. He doesn’t have to worry about wannabes. They’re ALL fighters. It’s a monster f—ing opportunity. He doesn’t want to scream, b—-, and yell. Dana says Jeremy needs to pack his bags and go home. That’s it. Dana vanishes. No skirmish or teasing like with Noah Inhofer. That’s it.
– Jeremy hopes Dana forgives him. He says he hopes Dana understands what it’s like to be cooked up in there. What the heck? If the opportunity was so huge, why did he blow it on a one night stand? He says he’s cried, he’s homeless, needs to work at a gas station blah blah blah.
– Mikey says being in a 2 million dollar house and top quality training beats out any piece of a–. Burnett isn’t for gender rights I have a feeling.
– DIN: Jeremy, what were you thinking? What were you doing? You had the opportunity of a lifetime! All you had to do was wait four weeks and you could have had all the a– you wanted! What were you thinking!
Din Thomas, ladies and gentlemen.
Here’s what I think: Jeremy has nobody but himself to blame for sleeping in a car after this season. He had a huge opportunity and I believe he thought he could get away with violating reality TV programming rules. I know he thought he could get away with it but Dana shut him down by talking for what appears to be thirty seconds before eliminating Jeremy without any discussion. Noah’s exit is the only one to triumph Jeremy’s mistake.
– Players continue to dwell over his homelessness but note that he was being stupid. Most. Short-sighted. Move. Ever. Serra says they have a Jacuzzi and train for free twice a day.
– Staph is spreading. Some of them spread on their knees. One has it on their necks. Trainers have said that everything is being scrubbed down. Gym. Vans. The House. Locker rooms. Everything.
– Gym meeting. Do we fight this episode? This is awfully late. Dana White is not present. Scott Smith has agreed to fight Lutter given Cote has staph and Sell isn’t ready. Lutter, who pissed off the other team this week, is surprised that he is fighting this week.
– Lutter states his age, where he’s from, and that Royce Gracie has inspired him. Wow. Real original.
– Dana chimes in. Lutter has competed in Abu Dhabi (that’s the submission championship that Kerr previously dominated). Lutter’s record is 1-2 despite being a blackbelt. He’s struggling. His first fight was UFC 50 where he fought Travis Eastman. Eastman had defeated some guy named Quintin Jackson. I don’t recall the fight. Primarily because the crowd boos them throughout the whole fight until Lutter’s one-punch knockout. NOW I remember that fight. You don’t see obvious one-punch KOS too often. Next fight was against Matt Lindland in UFC 52. The guy who tapped out twice in the same fight against Bustamante. The gold (or silver?) medalist. Lindland essentially dominates Lutter until he locks on an extremely tight guillotine. The only time Lutter has ever been submitted. Black belt in jiu jitsu not so impressive anymore. In UFC 54 he fought his Aussie training partner Trevor Prangley. Trevor bloodies up Lutter and tosses him a couple times to win by unanimous decision. That was a long recap for a fighter.
– The regular flatulence segment on TUF. Scott farts a lot. They make terrible jokes by relating it to atomic weapons. Hopefully this isn’t shown in Japan.
– Scott Smith says he’s worked on his ground game despite originally being a stand-up guy. At UFC 59 he fought David Terrell. Terrell KOED Lindland. Smith slams down Terrell in submission attempts. Terrell took his back, the referee called for break, Scott tried to break but Terrell didn’t and turned it into a full mount on Scott’s back and choke him out. Dana says that’s too s—-y way to lose your chance to be a mainstay in the UFC. Smith farts in Shonie’s face before giving a confessional that he is three punches away from fighting for the title.
– Scott says this will be the final dagger. Images of Solomon and that Hawaiian fellow comes to mind.
– No weigh-ins again. I guess they are fighting this episode. Lutter says the only thing he thinks when he enters the octagon is “it’s a good day to die”. Uh, okay then. I’d wait until I was an old decrepit man before I thought that but okay.
TRAVIS LUTTER FORT WORTH, TEXAS 10-3-0
SCOTT SMITH ELK GROVE, CALIFORNIA 11-2-0
– Fight starts. They circle until Lutter fakes a punch and takes Scott’s back. They’re standing. They lean against the cage. Suddenly they fall to the ground where Lutter is frantically maintaining advantage. Lutter gets an arm under Scott’s throat and a submission occurs within seconds. Ends at 3:47. Holy crap.
– Scott said he had good takedown defense. . .but that is definitely not the case. After four consecutive losses for Team No Love (including Jeremy’s dismissal) they break the streak and earn their first victory. 4-1.
– Scott is disappointed that no one got to see what he had to offer. My guess is that a middleweight gets hurt (Patrick Cote’s infection, perhaps?) and Scott will fill in that spot. Another one of my incorrect hunches.
– Next time on TUF: One of the welterweights will take Jeremy’s place. I guess my assumption of Clementi returning will come true. Mr. International is getting crazier.
My Assessment: Scott and Rich both return to fill in for inevitably injured players or those as foolish as Jeremy. Serra has to share the highest confessional count for a non-fighter this episode for once. In the previous three he ran away with the lead and beat out nearly every fighter thus far. I think twenty confessionals when he fights would be expected at this stage. He is getting this significant level of build-up for a reason.
1) Edwin DeWees vs. Gideon Ray (As Dexter said in the hotel room during season one: “So much blood. . .so much blood”. I have seen some blood baths in the UFC but that fight should be PVR’d by John McCain. Anybody who is advocating against the UFC needs to show this fight to those on the fence and they will agree to ban UFC once and for all. The fight makes history for being the first to go to sudden victory which means five fewer minutes of showing promotional crap leading up to the fight or redundant s— in the house. It helps that both fighters are even and seeing DeWees overcome bleeding out a quarter of his body was impressive.
2) Chris Lytle vs. Pete Spratt (The short and sweet fights need to be sprinkled in any season of TUF. Lytle picks up the first submission as he uses a rare armpit choke to gain the victory. How many armpit chokes can you claim to witnessing? Go ahead. I’ll be here waiting.
3) Mr. International vs. Rich Clementi (Season premiere fights are typically a dud, or in the case of Kenny from TUF 2, they don’t happen at all. This one is the first to break the disappointment streak. These two were even and had some good exchanges during the fight. This battle neither excelled nor failed, and is a great way for viewers to orient themselves and look forward to seeing what the season has in store. Also, International nearly tops Leben’s urination and drunkenness for most outrageous season premiere. Nearly. Urine trumps cubic zirconia when it comes to TUF. Sorry Shonie, but I don’t make the rules.)
4) Scott Smith vs. Travis Lutter (It’s not a bad fight. A textbook rear naked choke in a little over a minute won’t go down as being too memorable. If this were season two I believe this fight would be near the top for pre-finale fights. However, this season has put up excellent match-ups that this fight had too much of an expectation for it to avoid the bottom. Good on Lutter for faking that punch. Great technique.)
MR. INTERNATIONAL 0 (Really? Wow.)
CHRIS LYTLE 2
MATT SERRA 6
DIN THOMAS 6
PATRICK COTE 1
EDWIN DeWEES 0
PETE SELL 4
SCOTT SMITH 14
JEREMY JACKSON 7
PETE SPRATT 1
MIKEY BURNETT 2
RICH CLEMENTI 0
CHARLES MCCARTHY 1
GIDEON RAY 0
JORGE RIVERA 2
TRAVIS LUTTER 8