TUF 4 episode 3

Episode three

Previously on TUF: Mo Joe came up with a “master plan” to take out Team No Love. There is reinforced confessionals talking about Mo Joe potentially shutting out Team No Love. Pardon me but isn’t this only episode three?

Prediction: Team No Love will win this episode and put this shutout business to rest. The first three seasons have all been rather lopsided for talk of a shutout to have much meaning any more. Ah the wonders of “previously on” segments.

– We are reminded DeWees won. Everyone talks about the blood sputtering everywhere. In fact that’s about 95% of the confessionals. Mikey cares to mention Gideon won the second round. Hold on. Mikey has had three confessionals in this short segment. He must be fighting this round because he has been awfully quiet thus far. Spratt, Jackson, and Lutter each got their first confessional.

– A segment dedicated to International. He is taunting the others saying they have to put up with his pretty face for six weeks. There is dancing with pool cues. He has studded every hat with fake diamonds. International is splashing around in the water and studding anything he can get his hands on. People are wondering how he can act like that. However International says that while people are counting down the days he is having fun.

– Jackson says he’s pissed how hard the other team is working. Dana jumps in saying Jeremy Jackson was cast really late for this show and had no time to prepare. We are shown him getting his shoulder ice’d.

– Jeremy doesn’t trust Din Thomas because he is always looking at him. Apparently Jackson is five years old. He wants to fight Din but he really wants to fight Chris because he’s the toughest guy in the competition.

– Din says he wants to fight Jeremy because he is the weakest and has trained the least. He’d pick to fight Jeremy. Does this mean Jeremy beats Din at the end?

– Everyone is watching Matt Hughes vs. Royce Gracie. GSP comes over to watch. Dana confirms GSP will be fighting Matt Hughes for the title. Whoever wins out of the welterweights will fight either GSP or Matt.

– Dana says Matt was devastated by Royce Gracie’s loss. Matt trained with the Gracies extensively and was one of the first Americans to train under him. Amazingly enough this is the least Serra has been shown.

– Correction: Marc Laimon was brought in to coach the players. Serra says he doesn’t like Laimon ever since a fight where they cornered opposing fighters. Serra’s fighter choked out Phil Baroni while Laimon complained to the fighter. Then Laimon says Royce Gracie should have retired after the second time he fought Shamrock. Did he not see the fights with Yoshida?

– We fast forward to The House. International has a painting easel set up where he traces random crap in the house. While International was out Rich decided to trace a painting but write obscenities over it. Gay Pride is zoomed in on. Clearly they’re not supportive of gay rights. Disappointing. Rich thinks the prank will piss International enough to where he’ll want to move up in weight to fight whoever did it. He’s right. International instantly does a confessional where he wants to ask Dana for a fight at a higher weight.

– Couture is training Jeremy Jackson. He talks about Jackson’s attitude and willingness to work. Dana chimes in saying Jackson has only one UFC fight. At UFC 44 Jackson fought Nick Diaz (yeah, that same Nick Diaz). They fought twice before outside of the UFC and this was the rubber match. We are shown highlights where Nick takes Jackson down and has control for most of the round. In round two Jackson was the one who dominated. Round three Jackson was defeated by Diaz thanks to an armbar. Family problems have hit Jackson and he has not fought since. Jackson must be fighting.

– Gym meeting. Edwin announces Pete Spratt is fighting Chris Lytle. What the heck? Jackson must go to the semis if he is being featured multiple times in a single episode without saying anything particularly interesting.

– Jackson is as surprised as me. He thought since he entered the house that he would be fighting Chris Lytle. Not meant to be. Spratt finally emerges into the spotlight saying he has been ready to fight.

– Dana says Chris is a strong fighter but has been very up and down in the UFC. Although I must say that he has been always excellent in WEC. Chris’ record is 2-4. In UFC 28 he was destroyed by Earwood. I can’t recall Earwood. In UFC 45 Lytle returns following a short boxing stint and had that awesome fight with Robbie Lawler where they both taunt each other like idiots. God that fight was great. The fight went three rounds and incredibly enough went to decision where Lawler was declared the victor. In UFC 47 Lytle choked out Tiki. In UFC 49 he choked out Ron John. In UFC 51 he fought Karo Parisyan where the judo expert won by unanimous decision. In UFC 57 Joe Riggs (who fought Herb Dean at Super Heavyweight) came into the ring with Chris Lytle and bashed him in the classic Riggs fashion. One of the nastiest gashes I have seen was formed around his eyebrow. I’ve seen 1, 200 fights in the past year so much of it is a blur, but you show me a nasty cut and the memory of the fight floods back to me.

– Chris says this is his chance. Commercial break time.

– We return with Pete Spratt’s bio. Dana says Spratt’s ground game is limited. I’ll say he loses. Spratt says he had a scholarship to play football in college. When NFL didn’t work out he started training in MMA and now finds himself being a seven year pro. His record is 2-2. The first fight he had was UFC 37.5 (England?) where he fought striker Zach Light. Spratt delivered brutal high leg kicks. Spratt won by an out-of-nowhere submission. I remember that fight being one of the best submissions. In UFC 40 Spratt fought my favourite fighter ever Carlos Newton (I loooove me some Newton. Regardless if his last five fights have been terrible. If you can find Newton vs. Pele or Newton vs. Sakuraba, you’ll see why I loooove him). Newton submits Spratt and makes quick work of him. In UFC 42 he fought Robbie Lawler (the same guy who beat Lytle in UFC 45). Lawler started out by taking down Spratt but by the end of the round Spratt was on top and in his full guard. In round two Spratt exposed Lawler’s weakness of being unable to defend leg kicks. Lawler eventually quit and essentially ended Lawler’s main title run. Spratt was offered a shot against Matt Hughes but virtually no one was ready for Hughes.

A couple years later he was invited back. At UFC F N 1 he fought Koscheck. Sure enough Koscheck from TUF 1 is responsible for halting yet another TUF 4 contestant’s rise to fame. Swick, Quarry, Koscheck, Leben. . .dang those guys are good.

– Weigh-ins. Serra knows Spratt didn’t want to fight Lytle (who he mispronounces as Little). It is revealed these two have fought before at a smaller promotion where Lytle won by submission. I predict we see the same results. I love how No Love does not have any of their players as a coach but Mo Joe has Serra as the coach in every fight. Couture and GSP get off easy.


– This tale of the tape is brought to you by the movie Crank. I have not heard nothing but good things about that movie. Er, I mean I have not heard ANYTHING about that show. It’s like the TUF 3 finale where they advertised Blade the TV series.

– Mazzagatti our referee.

– Spratt and Lytle feel each other out until they clinch. Spratt is on the fence while Lytle is looking to advance position. Serra yells to bust out Marco Ruas foot stomps. Spratt is off the fence and now they’re in the centre of the octagon. They fall to the ground. Lytle is in half mount. Spratt is not defending as well as he could. Scratch that he’s moving pretty good. Oh crap. Lytle is in full mount. . .and the referee is ending it? Did I miss something? Fight ends at 2:53.

– They recap the fight. Not much to recap. They were in a clinch. Lytle took him down. Then a submission occurs. It was a guillotine choke by armpit. That’s why I didn’t catch it. Armpit chokes in full mount aren’t exactly common.

– DANA (confessional): Team No Love is getting No Love.

You know he took several weeks to come up with that pun.

– SPRATT (throws something in the loser’s chair): I’M SICK O’ THAT BULLS—!!!!!

Best sound byte I’ve heard on TUF in quite a while. These guys haven’t provided the best quotes but Spratt certainly made up for it.

Next time on TUF: A skin disease spreads throughout the house. This is odd timing because pink eye is rampant in my neighbourhood at this time. Also, a player goes AWOL and Dana finds an excuse to launch his first ‘do you want to be here’ speech of the season. The only excuse for going missing is if your name is Chris Leben. Therefore, I’d imagine someone will be kicked off the show.

P.S. I’m 0/3 predicting fights at the start of the episode. TUF is truly the toughest (c wut I did thar/) show to predict who makes it to the end. Especially when some fighters are rarely shown and find a way to be in the finals. I’m looking at you Ken Flo and Luke Commo.

The reason why the house hasn’t been entertaining: Because Serra, although well-liked, is TERRIBLE at giving confessionals. There’s nothing worthy to quote that comes out of his mouth.

Rank the Fights:

Now that there’s been three fights it’s time to start this crap up once again.

1) Edwin DeWees vs. Gideon Ray (As Dexter said in the hotel room during season one: “So much blood. . .so much blood”. I have seen some blood baths in the UFC but that fight should be PVR’d by John McCain. Anybody who is advocating against the UFC needs to show this fight to those on the fence and they will agree to ban UFC once and for all. The fight makes history for being the first to go to sudden victory which means five fewer minutes of showing promotional crap leading up to the fight or redundant s— in the house. It helps that both fighters are even and seeing DeWees overcome bleeding out a quarter of his body was impressive.

2) Chris Lytle vs. Pete Spratt (The short and sweet fights need to be sprinkled in any season of TUF. Lytle picks up the first submission as he uses a rare armpit choke to gain the victory. How many armpit chokes can you claim to witnessing? Go ahead. I’ll be here waiting.

3) Mr. International vs. Rich Clementi (Season premiere fights are typically a dud, or in the case of Kenny from TUF 2, they don’t happen at all. This one is the first to break the disappointment streak. These two were even and had some good exchanges during the fight. This battle neither excelled nor failed, and is a great way for viewers to orient themselves and look forward to seeing what the season has in store. Also, International nearly tops Leben’s urination and drunkenness for most outrageous season premiere. Nearly. Urine trumps cubic zirconia when it comes to TUF. Sorry Shonie, but I don’t make the rules.)









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