Kendall Grove 2
Michael Bisping 10
Josh Haynes 7
Solomon Hutcherson 1
Jesse Forbes 4
Ross Pointon 9
Ed Herman 4
Mike Nickels 1
– Previously on TUF: Jesse came back in the house when Noah left for his girlfriend. Because of several injuries, Ross steps up a weight class and fights fellow Brit Bisping. Two fights this episode. I am 2/2 on semi-final predictions. Will I be 4/4 by the end of tonight?
– We recap the previous fight. Ed striking was surprising. Josh speaks up. Solomon, who was beaten by Rory, criticizes Rory’s jiu jitsu skills. Dagger fail! Ah, here’s Dana to promote the live finale that will take place next episode between Ed and Kendall.
– Jesse gets his third confessional in ten episodes. I thought the guy who likes to break s— would have more exciting interviews.
– Josh isn’t fighting for his family this time. He’s fighting for himself.
– Wow. No weigh-ins. It’s straight to the fight. The producers really don’t care about Jesse whatsoever.
Josh (Ortiz) vs. Jesse (Shamrock)
JESSE FORBES PORTLAND, MAINE 2-0
JOSH HAYNES GRANTS PASS, OREGON 9-4
– Big John is our referee. Jesse loses in round two?
– Jesse and Josh circle for twenty seconds. Twenty-five. Thirty. Jesse attempts a takedown. Josh struggles to defend and is eventually taken down. Jesse however can’t secure anything worth s— and Josh is in the process of rolling. Just realized Dana didn’t promote this fight. Everyone must think Jesse will lose. Jesse has his hooks in the wrong area. Big John warns not to grab the fingers. Jesse has Josh’s back. Josh man handles him and has taken him down. Full guard. Josh is throwing a few punches from on top. Josh has a leg. Definitely going for a heel hook. It blows up in his face when Jesse simply falls on top of him and is trying to smother him. Jesse has hooks in. He is very close to securing a rear naked choke. Josh is trying to elbow his way out. Jesse is really close. Josh is STRUGGLING. Is he going to go unconscious? It’s not far enough below Josh’s chin. Josh removes the arms around his neck. Josh sweeps and now he has Jesse’s back. But Jesse reverses it and has Josh in side mount. He moves into full mount but only seven seconds left. End of round. Incredible round.
– Start of round two. Jesse fakes a punch. Josh gets a headlock that I assume was going to be the start of attrition but Jesse tapped. Uh. . . What???
– We find out Josh cries win or lose. Jesse meanwhile is boring, gets pat on the back while he’s trying to drink water, and Dana cues up the next fight.
– We’re back at the house. The last two nights, perhaps? Michael and Ross argue over Michael choking him out in his last fight in England. They’re nearly showing the conversation discussing their previous fight uncut. Producers go out of their way to edit in a couple ‘you know what I mean’ from Bisping.
– We see Bisping training. He’s scaling the cage and can’t figure out how to get out. Just put your leg over and you’ll be out of the cage, Mike. Ortiz has hopes for Bisping.
– Ross says his own name over and over as he punches a punching bag. ‘Rossrossrossrossrossrossrossssss.’
– Weigh-ins. Both make weight. It feels like the house is empty except for the two Brits. Well, except for Ed Herman. He’s drinking again! With Solomon! DAGGER BOMBS! They’re now getting drunk and erotic. They’re laughing and hugging, pouring s—, throwing s—, Rory farted, mustard squirting contest,
SOLOMON (in his Dave Chappelle white man voice): That was one to put in the records of getting sloshed.
– The house is disgusting. I wonder if their 5k bonuses will pay for all the damage in the house.
– Ross has talked about this being an opportunity around half a dozen times in five minutes.
Michael (ORTIZ) vs. Ross (Shamrock)
MICHAEL BISPING CYPRUS 10-0
ROSS POINTON NORTH HAMPTON, UK 4-6
– Big John is our referee. Ross and Bisping engage in a huge flurry in the first ten seconds. Ross lands one on the chin but Bisping shakes it off. Bisping lands a harsh head kick on Ross. Will I go 4 for 4 in my semi-final predictions? Bisping lands a body kick. Shamrock is telling Ross to move his feet. Ross lands a leg kick. Bisping lands a knee on Ross. Another leg kick. Bisping lands an ENORMOUS flying knee and lands it perfectly on Ross.Ross is crumbling. Bisping is firing ten consecutive punches and kicks as Ross is resting in the cage trying to cover. Only a matter of time. Yep. Big John steps in and ends the fight.
– Bisping and Ross respect each other as friends and fellow Brits. Ross is predicting the weather. He thinks it’s raining or snowing in England. The editors need to be fired for inserting such an irrelevant piece of information.
– Dana promotes amp’d mobile phones where the semi-finalists receive them free for life. They’re like really nice 3” televisions. He thinks Shamrock was here for six weeks to secure a fight with Tito while Tito was here to train the kids. That’s a rather blunt assessment.
– So who will win for middleweights? Kendall or Ed? What about the heavyweights? Josh or Bisping? I personally think Kendall and Bisping will win.
– Ken bumps into Tito at the very end. Were they trying to get last second camera time? Tito says he’ll give the old man a bone. It will be an elbow bone. Oooooooooooo.
12) Mike Stine vs. Kalib Starnes (Stine was an ugly fighter all around. After fifteen seconds you knew Kalib would win in the first round; it was only a question of how he would do it. Not a bad fight to start the season. In fact, this is the only fight to occur in the opening episode thanks to last season’s double quit opener and season one having its first two eliminations be from a coach’s elimination.)
11) Danny Abbadi vs. Ed Herman (The fight starts off well with them trading on their feet. Danny looks like he’ll pull an underdog victory. However, we quickly go to a clinch and it becomes a blatant one-sided fight from that point forward.)
10) Josh Haynes vs. Tait Fletcher (A split decision is always an ugly finish to a fight. But hey, it wasn’t THAT bad. It was an even fight with sloppy techniques, and sometimes those are the best fights. It’s nothing special, but it’s fine to see one fight go to decision every once in a while. I just wish they weren’t so fatigued. Don‘t forget some of their exchanges.)
9) Rory Singer vs. Ed Herman (A bit too much inactivity on the ground for my liking. However, they did exchange some good blows and Ed was willing to finish the fight in round two.)
8) Josh Haynes vs. Jesse Forbes (It was a fairly good ground fight. However, Jesse’s significant under-edit made it a foregone conclusion. Anyone with seven or eight confessionals over a period of twelve episodes has zero chance of making it to the live TUF finale. It’d be the worst hype job ever seen. If I didn’t know the outcome, I would think this was a decent fight. Jesse has control of Josh on the ground but it isn’t too one-sided, and isn’t as inactive compared to other ground fights. Jesse’s conditioning wears thin and Josh locks on the quickest guillotine submission ever.)
7) Kendall Grove vs. Ross Pointon (It started off punches vs. leg kicks. Quickly it became grappler vs. striker. Then it became Willpower vs. stamina and Ross loses this aspect by a landslide. A standing rear naked choke without hooks inserted is the most unique submission I have seen in the 1, 100+ MMA matches that I’ve watched.)
6) Michael Bisping vs. Kristian Rothaermel (Everyone knew Bisping would win from the onset but we all wondered how long it would take. Kristian puts up a good fight. It was neat to see some blood being drawn for once and someone appearing as if they had been truly knocked out. Ortiz’ team is at the peak of their cockiness now that they won three in a row at this time. That skull cut was nasty.
5) Michael Bisping vs. Ross Pointing (Ross’ return marks a much more exciting fight. Bisping looks mortal in this fight. I think Ross wins this fight half the time given the strikes that he landed. However, Bisping takes advantage of Ross’ fatigue and lands a couple good shots before he rushes in and lands asmanystrikesashebloodywellcan and the fight is stopped. Pretty good fight.
4) Matt Hammill vs. Mike Nickels (Ever seen two ground fighters opt to do a stand-up game knowing they both equally suck at it? Well that’s what happens in this fight. There’s a lot of action. If it went to a third round, I am certain we would have seen a finish. Both fighters, regardless of their atrocious kickboxing skills and turning their back to each other at rather stupid times, put on an exciting performance. Good fight.)
3) Noah Inhofer vs. Jesse Forbes (Tito really wanted Noah to underhook that left arm apparently. Jesse has control for the first ninety seconds and it looks like Noah was a bad fighter regardless of the sprained ankle. However, Noah listens to Tito’s advice and uses the sprained ankle to his advantage as he uses his upper body strength to pull off an armbar after doing nothing prior to that. I wonder how much of the success can be attributed to the basketball?)
2) Rory Singer vs. Solomon Hutcherson (The first fight that goes to round two. Both were evenly matched but an amazing head kick by Rory makes for a spectacular finish and ends the Team Dagger storyline. Alliances never work. A good mix of stand-up and ground battling makes for an excellent fight.)
1) Kendall Grove vs. Kalib Starnes (Amazing fight for three rounds. One of the most versatile fights we see in TUF history. Both were looking to finish. An upset takes place as the favourite in Kalib Starnes bows out after he put up with a cracked rib for three rounds.)