Rory Singer 16
Kendall Grove 6
Danny Abbadi 1
Matt Hammill 1
Michael Bisping 3
Josh Haynes 0
Ed Herman 14
Kalib Starnes 1
Jesse Forbes 0
Ross Pointon 0
Tait Fletcher 1
Previously on TUF: Rory imitated Stephen Fishbach running in celebration of defeating The Dagger Solomon. Ed was obsessed with not being picked by Tito. Kalib lost. Rory and Ed will fight tonight. Who will advance to the final?
– We review the fight. I didn’t notice before but Kendall did specifically target Kalib’s injured rib after Kalib cringed. I don’t understand why Tait and Danny are getting a confessional. Why not focus on this round’s fighters?
– Kalib and Kendall hug after Kalib returns from the hospital. Kendall slaps him on the ribs. Kalib warns everyone as he approaches to hug them to not touch his ribs. Did you know ribs come in contact when you hug?
– Michael calls him a pr—. A British friend I have uses pr— as his go-to insult. Kendall is insulting him as well.
– Rory and Ed are friends. However, Rory’s flatulence annoys Ed in their bedroom. Herman resorts to having tall plants surround his own bed to break the flatulence from Rory. He claims to not like him anymore. I guess that’s normal when that’s your next UFC opponent.
– Jesse is writing “Rory is gay” on all of the food. He asks everyone if they would like “Rory is gay cheese” or “Rory is gay turkey”.
– Ed has moved out his bedroom. Rory is too annoying for him. Oooooooo. He cites Rory as being “a stinky bastard”.
– Ed has decided to take every tree, plant, branch, and palm fronds into his room with Jesse. They have created a romantic jungle bungalow. Note the alcoholic drink in Ed’s hand. He’s keeping up his episodic tradition. Is he trying to audition for Survivor? Although I heard Kimbo was supposed to be the first UFC-Survivor crossover. Wonder what happened to that rumour?
– Rory goes to his locker. Someone wrote “Rory Singer is gay” on his locker and in his gloves. Now the Brooklyn Jew is angry. What did Jew all do?
RORY (serious tone): I decided to go in Ed’s and Jesse’s lockers. In Ed’s locker I wrote “I can’t wait until puberty and have my balls drop” and in Jesse’s I wrote “Jesse likes boys”.
You fight class with class, Rory. Isn’t that the saying? Oh, and for added measure, Rory takes Ed’s gloves and wipes his a– with it. I find this is appropriate considering he is labelled as “the stinky bastard”. A good pro wrestling nickname come to think of it.
RORY: If they continue this I’m going to start urinating on people’s clothes.
Since when did R. Kelly transfer into the UFC?
– Ed finds his stuff has been written on. Ed decides to hide Rory’s equipment throughout the gym and proceeds to urinate on his headgear and smells it for good measure.
What the heck is it with urinating on people’s equipment as a prank? Is that the most clever prank idea that TUF contestants can come up with? Since when did so many people want to tear a page from Chris Leben’s playbook?
– Rory and Ed confront each other. Ed and Jesse insist Kendall started writing “Rory is gay” and they only did it once or twice. Kendall admits it and Rory cleans off Ed’s s— stained glove.
– Rory and Kendall do 2 5-minute rounds of boxing. What a ridiculous dynamic. Has Rory become the new Hammill figure in the house?
– Rory says getting into his head won’t work. Although Ed’s urine got in Rory’s headgear and Rory wore it so he did get into Rory’s head literally.
– Hammill returns to the gym. He was told he won by decision. Wow. He doesn’t even remember who won?! The fighters had to tell him he won.
– Hammill said he’s ready to fight Michael. Tito says he can’t because the doctors won’t let him. He wasn’t even told he can’t fight? What kind of insanely beaten up shape was he in? If you don’t know you won a fight until three days after the fact then maybe you shouldn’t take on a fight three days in advance.
– We move on. The weigh-ins. Ed and Rory make weight.
– Ken says that Ed looked down. He calls Randy Couture out. Randy says it’s no problem (after being paid 10k for being on TV no doubt) and fires up Ed.
Rory (Ortiz) vs. Ed (Shamrock)
RORY SINGER BROOKLYN, NY 9-5
ED HERMAN VANCOUVER, WASHINGTON 14-2
– Herb Dean is our referee.
– Fight commences. They circle. Ed chases but Rory dodges. They clinch. Rory has Ed against the fence. Ed takes Rory down and is in his full guard. Rory offers some elbows from the bottom. Ed is not doing much. Rory gets up and reverses it to be in Ed’s guard. Ed low blows Rory in the process. A clean break for Rory to recover. They resume in the same position. Ed reverses the position when Rory opts for a headlock from the side and allows Ed to take him down to get side control with twenty seconds left. He won’t do much more as time is called. End of round one. It was okay.
– Ed and Rory circle around each other until they clinch and Ed gets another takedown. Ed is in Rory’s full guard for a minute. He switches between closing the distance and trying to do a Rampage-like slam. Ed advances into half guard. He slams down some elbows. Rory turns his back on Ed which proves to be a terrible idea because Ed slaps on a weak rear naked choke but gets an instant submission. Ed is five thousand dollars richer!
– Dana recaps the fight. He says it didn’t surprise him. Anytime Rory tried to escape Ed would hit him. I guess it was slow and steady to win the race. Tito says Rory quit because he didn’t fight the choke for one second.
– Rory admits to losing his confidence during the fight. Ouch.
– Ed and Kendall start promoting the finals. Two fights in the next episode. Should be fun and extremely lopsided!
10) Mike Stine vs. Kalib Starnes (Stine was an ugly fighter all around. After fifteen seconds you knew Kalib would win in the first round; it was only a question of how he would do it. Not a bad fight to start the season. In fact, this is the only fight to occur in the opening episode thanks to last season’s double quit opener and season one having its first two eliminations be from a coach’s elimination.)
9) Danny Abbadi vs. Ed Herman (The fight starts off well with them trading on their feet. Danny looks like he’ll pull an underdog victory. However, we quickly go to a clinch and it becomes a blatant one-sided fight from that point forward.)
8) Josh Haynes vs. Tait Fletcher (A split decision is always an ugly finish to a fight. But hey, it wasn’t THAT bad. It was an even fight with sloppy techniques, and sometimes those are the best fights. It’s nothing special, but it’s fine to see one fight go to decision every once in a while. I just wish they weren’t so fatigued. Don‘t forget some of their exchanges.)
7) Rory Singer vs. Ed Herman (A bit too much inactivity on the ground for my liking. However, they did exchange some good blows and Ed was willing to finish the fight in round two.)
6) Kendall Grove vs. Ross Pointon (It started off punches vs. leg kicks. Quickly it became grappler vs. striker. Then it became Willpower vs. stamina and Ross loses this aspect by a landslide. A standing rear naked choke without hooks inserted is the most unique submission I have seen in the 1, 100+ MMA matches that I’ve watched.)
5) Michael Bisping vs. Kristian Rothaermel (Everyone knew Bisping would win from the onset but we all wondered how long it would take. Kristian puts up a good fight. It was neat to see some blood being drawn for once and someone appearing as if they had been truly knocked out. Ortiz’ team is at the peak of their cockiness now that they won three in a row at this time. That skull cut was nasty.
4) Matt Hammill vs. Mike Nickels (Ever seen two ground fighters opt to do a stand-up game knowing they both equally suck at it? Well that’s what happens in this fight. There’s a lot of action. If it went to a third round, I am certain we would have seen a finish. Both fighters, regardless of their atrocious kickboxing skills and turning their back to each other at rather stupid times, put on an exciting performance. Good fight.)
3) Noah Inhofer vs. Jesse Forbes (Tito really wanted Noah to underhook that left arm apparently. Jesse has control for the first ninety seconds and it looks like Noah was a bad fighter regardless of the sprained ankle. However, Noah listens to Tito’s advice and uses the sprained ankle to his advantage as he uses his upper body strength to pull off an armbar after doing nothing prior to that. I wonder how much of the success can be attributed to the basketball?)
2) Rory Singer vs. Solomon Hutcherson (The first fight that goes to round two. Both were evenly matched but an amazing head kick by Rory makes for a spectacular finish and ends the Team Dagger storyline. Alliances never work. A good mix of stand-up and ground battling makes for an excellent fight.)
1) Kendall Grove vs. Kalib Starnes (Amazing fight for three rounds. One of the most versatile fights we see in TUF history. Both were looking to finish. An upset takes place as the favourite in Kalib Starnes bows out after he put up with a cracked rib for three rounds.)