Rory Singer 1
Kendall Grove 8
Matt Hammill 0
Michael Bisping 2
Josh Haynes 0
Ed Herman 1
Kalib Starnes 6
Jesse Forbes 0
Tait Fletcher 1
Kristian Roaerthmal 1
Ross Pointon 2
– There’s a surprise for the semi-finalists: For the first time ever, the eight losers come back to help train the semi-finalists.
– The semi-finalists hate this. Michael starts out with a “to be honest” for the millionth confessional while Rory was looking forward to peace and quiet.
– Kendall and Solomon get together and perform incoherent speech. All I can make out are the words dagger. They’re like Pokemon. Dagger-dagger-DAGGER!-Dagger uppercut!
Okay, that’s Street Fighter. You get the picture.
– Tito and Ken are playing a best two-out-of-three for ten thousand dollars in billiards. Yes. It has nothing to do with fighting. It’s just to watch them play pool. Ken says he doesn’t play wins the first round. Tito breaks next round and doesn’t bag anything in. Apparently Ken is a pool hustler. I feel like I’m recapping Pool Hall Junkies. Ken sure enough wins and has now successfully been golfing, bowling, and playing 8 Ball in what is supposed to be a reality show about FIGHTING. He thinks it’s bring up team morale but I have a feeling it only brings up his personal bank account.
– Huge outcome to season three. Matt Hammill has a broken arm and cannot continue. Naturally this means Mike Nickels would take his place but he has a broken nose. Therefore, Dana and the coaches are going to choose between Tait and Kristian for who would like to come back. This is a messy situation. The favourite is gone. Bisping’s road to the crown is sealed!
– Dana calls in Tait Fletcher. Does he want to fight?
TAIT: Nope. Not ready this week.
Dana and the coaches are “f—ing blown away” that Tait would quit. Tait makes it clear that he is not remotely interested.
– They shift to Kristian. The semi-finals are four days away. Kristian says he has too many cuts. Dana is getting on his case. Probably because he’s the only semi-finalist not named Noah the Quitter who can come back. The coaches are saying don’t blow smoke up their butt. Nobody likes a Danny Abbadi injury rant. Let’s recap who cannot return for light heavyweights:
Therefore, if Kristian doesn’t come back one of the semi-finalists will get a bye to the finals. And that is indeed f—ing huge as Dana would say. Save us Kristian Impossibellastnametospell, you are our only hope.
– Heh. Kristian took off his toque. He has dyed his hair pink. They let him leave the room.
Now let’s look at the list:
So what the heck do they do now? Dana builds suspense and says there’s one guy he knows for sure would come back.
And who is that person? It’s the other Brit. Ross Pointon. Yep. The guy who fought at middleweight. Dana tells him he has to move back up to his amateur weight class at 205 pounds. He accepts it in two seconds. He certainly made the other guys look like crap.
– Dana announces the match-ups. Jesse (the loser) vs. Josh (the winner) will fight first followed by Michael (a winner and a Brit) vs. Ross (a loser and also a Brit. A double negative.)
– For the middleweights, Kalib vs. Kendall and Rory vs. Ed.
The first fight this episode is Kalib and Kendall. The episode instantly starts pimping them out. Cue rock music.
– My predictions: Kendall, Ed, Jesse, and Mike will win their matches then Mike and Ed.
– KENDALL: I wear the Hawaiian flag. Because it’s not just me fighting it’s all of them.
Nope. It’s just you.
Kendall (Ortiz) vs. Kalib (Shamrock)
KENDALL GROVE MAUI, HAWAII 7-3
KALIB STARNES SURREY, BC 8-0
Mazzagatti our referee.
– It’s now 3 5-minute rounds.
– They clinch after twenty seconds. Kalib picks up Kendall with ease and slams him down. He controls Kendall on the ground. Kendall is wrapped up in a ball. Waiting for Kalib to throw knees. Kalib stands him up while still clinching. Kendall throws the first punch of the match. Kalib fires a knee. Kendall breaks the clinch. 2:40 left. Kendall charges with another couple punches. Kalib fakes a jab. Kendall misses with a combination. Kalib is looking to fire kicks. Kendall grabs his head and lands a knee. Kalib has Kendall against the fence. Kendall goes ofr a one-leg takedown but Kalib breaks a way. Kendall’s nose is bleeding. He lands a leg kick. He’s firing wild combinations. A nice head kick but Kalib blocks and smiles. That means it hurt. Kalib lands a spinning head kick. Kendall is trying to break Kalib with punches. End of round one.
– They touch gloves. Kalib somewhat lands a kick. Kendall lands a solid knee. Kalib is dazed as he clinches Kendall’s stomach and takes him down. Kalib is in Kendall’s half guard. Kalib lands an elbow. Kalib stands up. Kendall is able to land some of his wild punches on their feet. Kalib doesn’t like this and goes for a takedown immediately. Kalib grabs the shorts and uses it to get into a two-second full mount. Kendall rolls out and they’re on their feet. Great round. Mazzagatti warns Kalib about grabbing the shorts. Kendall is taken down but sets to work punching the side of the head. Kalib is in Kendall’s half guard. Kendall pulls full guard. There’s quite a bit of action from both. Kalib stands up with :54 left in round two as Mazzagatti calls time. He insists you cannot coach in the timeout. Kalib is fatigued. Looks like Shamrock’s poor conditioning training continues. Kendall remains co-ordinated. End of round two. Mazzagatti warns Kalib if he grabs shorts once more that he will lose a point.
– Excellent fight. Let’s do round three! They are more patient at the start of round three. After a couple combinations by Kendall and a clinch Mazzagatti swoops in. Kalib quits. He says his rib is broken. Kendall wins by verbal tapout.
– Kalib says he can’t take a deep breath.
Next time on TUF: Pranks galore and the next middleweight fight. Excellent.
9) Mike Stine vs. Kalib Starnes (Stine was an ugly fighter all around. After fifteen seconds you knew Kalib would win in the first round; it was only a question of how he would do it. Not a bad fight to start the season. In fact, this is the only fight to occur in the opening episode thanks to last season’s double quit opener and season one having its first two eliminations be from a coach’s elimination.)
8) Danny Abbadi vs. Ed Herman (The fight starts off well with them trading on their feet. Danny looks like he’ll pull an underdog victory. However, we quickly go to a clinch and it becomes a blatant one-sided fight from that point forward.)
7) Josh Haynes vs. Tait Fletcher (A split decision is always an ugly finish to a fight. But hey, it wasn’t THAT bad. It was an even fight with sloppy techniques, and sometimes those are the best fights. It’s nothing special, but it’s fine to see one fight go to decision every once in a while. I just wish they weren’t so fatigued. Don‘t forget some of their exchanges.)
6) Kendall Grove vs. Ross Pointon (It started off punches vs. leg kicks. Quickly it became grappler vs. striker. Then it became Willpower vs. stamina and Ross loses this aspect by a landslide. A standing rear naked choke without hooks inserted is the most unique submission I have seen in the 1, 100+ MMA matches that I’ve watched.)
5) Michael Bisping vs. Kristian Rothaermel (Everyone knew Bisping would win from the onset but we all wondered how long it would take. Kristian puts up a good fight. It was neat to see some blood being drawn for once and someone appearing as if they had been truly knocked out. Ortiz’ team is at the peak of their cockiness now that they won three in a row at this time. That skull cut was nasty.
4) Matt Hammill vs. Mike Nickels (Ever seen two ground fighters opt to do a stand-up game knowing they both equally suck at it? Well that’s what happens in this fight. There’s a lot of action. If it went to a third round, I am certain we would have seen a finish. Both fighters, regardless of their atrocious kickboxing skills and turning their back to each other at rather stupid times, put on an exciting performance. Good fight.)
3) Noah Inhofer vs. Jesse Forbes (Tito really wanted Noah to underhook that left arm apparently. Jesse has control for the first ninety seconds and it looks like Noah was a bad fighter regardless of the sprained ankle. However, Noah listens to Tito’s advice and uses the sprained ankle to his advantage as he uses his upper body strength to pull off an armbar after doing nothing prior to that. I wonder how much of the success can be attributed to the basketball?)
2) Rory Singer vs. Solomon Hutcherson (The first fight that goes to round two. Both were evenly matched but an amazing head kick by Rory makes for a spectacular finish and ends the Team Dagger storyline. Alliances never work. A good mix of stand-up and ground battling makes for an excellent fight.)
1) Kendall Grove vs. Kalib Starnes (Amazing fight for three rounds. One of the most versatile fights we see in TUF history. Both were looking to finish. An upset takes place as the favourite in Kalib Starnes bows out after he put up with a cracked rib for three rounds.)