Rory Singer 1
Kendall Grove 2
Danny Abbadi 12
Matt Hammill 4
Michael Bisping 4
Josh Haynes 1
Ed Herman 14
Kalib Starnes 1
Mike Nickels 4
Jesse Forbes 0
– Previously on TUF: Ed Herman hasn’t fought yet, Ed Herman hasn’t fought yet, Ed Herman hasn’t fought yet, Ed Herman hasn’t fought yet.
– We review the previous fight. Everyone criticizes the judges, and the contestants talk about Dana criticizing the judges.
– Ken brings his team to the Hard Rock bowling alley and billiard hall. It makes up for their golfing trip and sparring with a palm tree.
– Oh, what’s this? Ken’s wife and kids surprise Ken. Why? Because as Oprah says, it’s his birrrrrrrrrrrthdayyyyyyyyyyyyy! It’s a much needed break.
– Danny’s first non-Hammill quote? He likes to see blood. He’s also the assassin. Why? Because no matter what, you’ll go down. I didn’t know assassins do that, either.
– Bisping tickles Danny when Danny is in Bisping’s guard.
– Danny has a semiotic nerve or whatever the heck it is.
– Ed is taking one of the sickest bubble baths ever. He decides to jump out of the tub and gets into a non-gay bubble bath fight with Kendall. Oh, Ed says we can call it gay. So I guess it was a gay bubble bath fight. What does a non-gay bubble bath fight look like? Anyone know?
– Ed is drinking shots for the fifth or sixth episode in a row. Also, he whines about not being picked first. He also complains Rory will be pissing his pants once he gets to the finals.
– We are reminded that Ed trained with Couture and Nate “The Rock” Quarry. He guarantees we’ll see him in the future as a bucket of ice is dumped on him by Kendall.
– Danny is from Orlando, which is apparently called O-Town. He emphasizes he has a million brothers, and his dad abused him. Someone call Child Protective Services. Or to call someone to get Matt Hammill a sandwich.
– Danny can beat up Tito. Danny can lose 11 pounds in 45 minutes. Danny trains for a 13-second fight.
– Everyone buries Danny in the confessionals. Everyone including Tito thinks he is faking his back accident. He will run and run and run then all of a sudden his back will hurt and he’ll run slower.
– Matt Hammill and Bisping have the strangest source of conflict this episode. It’s over Hammill’s utterance of ‘wooooooo!’ Bisping complains about it in as many confessionals as possible and Hammill yells ‘woooo!’ about three or four time in confessionals. He admits to yelling ‘woooo!’ in Bisping’s ear when he was sleeping.
– We see two minutes of Danny training while grimacing and holding his back while Ed says Tito made a big mistake for not picking him and saving his weakest guy for him. It seems they’re running out of storylines by episode eight. Ed claims out of nowhere he’s mothaf—ing crazy.
– Ed shares his sad stories. He came from a broken home and a lower class family.
ED: I’ve got more heart than my chest can hold. It comes out of my mothaf—ing ears.
– I miss Team Dagger.
– Hammill and Danny train in their bedroom.
– No one thinks Danny would win. It’ll be the biggest upset if he wins. Are the producers explaining why he’ll lose so swiftly or to create an unlikely underdog?
– Ed shares another sad story. His best friend died in Alaska because he watched a program called World’s Most Dangerous Jobs and one of them was fishing in Alaska. I’m sorry, Ed.
That’s one of the funniest ways I’ve heard someone die. Another classic case of “Being inspired by World’s Most Dangerous Jobs”-related death.
Danny Abbadi (ORTIZ) VS. Ed Herman (SHAMROCK)
DANNY ABBADI AMMAN, JORDAN 2-1
ED HERMAN VANCOUVER, WASHINGTON 14-2
– Big John is our referee.
– Danny and Ed stand up and trade punches. Danny lands a solid punch. Danny is really stupid and clinches with Ed and pushes him against the fence. Ed has no problem in taking Danny down and gets into his full guard.
2:30 left in round one. Ed is in Danny’s guard. Ed is hammering strikes on Danny. Everyone wants Danny to open his guard but he has yet to do so. One of the ugliest guards I’ve seen. Ed presses down on his leg and advances into side guard. Ed is landing elbows. Danny is flat on his back. It’s only a matter of time. 90 seconds left. 30 seconds later and Ed is in full mount. He gets some strikes before he gives Danny room to move. This is really all a ploy to take Danny’s elbow
– We review the fight and that Danny made a big mistake to clinch. Danny then talks about how nobody expected him to do this well including Tito. He’s proud he never gave up.
– Oh, and Shamrock must be happy that he ends his 5-fight losing streak. Happy birthday, most dangerous man. Wished you extinguished those candles with your fists.
And that’s the end of the episode.
7) Mike Stine vs. Kalib Starnes (Stine was an ugly fighter all around. After fifteen seconds you knew Kalib would win in the first round; it was only a question of how he would do it. Not a bad fight to start the season. In fact, this is the only fight to occur in the opening episode thanks to last season’s double quit opener and season one having its first two eliminations be from a coach’s elimination.)
6) Danny Abbadi vs. Ed Herman (The fight starts off well with them trading on their feet. Danny looks like he’ll pull an underdog victory. However, we quickly go to a clinch and it becomes a blatant one-sided fight from that point forward.)
5) Josh Haynes vs. Tait Fletcher (A split decision is always an ugly finish to a fight. But hey, it wasn’t THAT bad. It was an even fight with sloppy techniques, and sometimes those are the best fights. It’s nothing special, but it’s fine to see one fight go to decision every once in a while. I just wish they weren’t so fatigued. Don‘t forget some of their exchanges.)
4) Kendall Grove vs. Ross Pointon (It started off punches vs. leg kicks. Quickly it became grappler vs. striker. Then it became Willpower vs. stamina and Ross loses this aspect by a landslide. A standing rear naked choke without hooks inserted is the most unique submission I have seen in the 1, 100+ MMA matches that I’ve watched.)
3) Michael Bisping vs. Kristian Rothaermel (Everyone knew Bisping would win from the onset but we all wondered how long it would take. Kristian puts up a good fight. It was neat to see some blood being drawn for once and someone appearing as if they had been truly knocked out. Ortiz’ team is at the peak of their cockiness now that they won three in a row at this time. That skull cut was nasty.
2) Noah Inhofer vs. Jesse Forbes (Tito really wanted Noah to underhook that left arm apparently. Jesse has control for the first ninety seconds and it looks like Noah was a bad fighter regardless of the sprained ankle. However, Noah listens to Tito’s advice and uses the sprained ankle to his advantage as he uses his upper body strength to pull off an armbar after doing nothing prior to that. I wonder how much of the success can be attributed to the basketball?)
1) Rory Singer vs. Solomon Hutcherson (The first fight that goes to round two. Both were evenly matched but an amazing head kick by Rory makes for a spectacular finish and ends the Team Dagger storyline. Alliances never work. A good mix of stand-up and ground battling makes for an excellent fight.)