Rory Singer 1
Kendall Grove 17
Matt Hammill 0
Michael Bisping 5
Noah Inhofar 0
Josh Haynes 2
Ed Herman 5
Solomon Hutcherson 9
Kalib Starnes 1
Ross Pointon 18
Mike Nickels 3
Tait Fletcher 4
– We are reminded from episode one that Herman is pissed he’s picked sixth and wishes to punish someone in the octagon. Oh, and Jesse lost. Hmmmm, I wonder who gets to fight this episode? Ed beats Danny, perhaps?
– We review last week’s fight. Tait points out the armbar was telegraphed for about ten seconds before Noah manoeuvred. In other words, Jesse is coached by a submission specialist but didn’t have any knowledge of how to defend one. Is Shamrock that useless?
– Shamrock takes his team out golfing. I understand why Shamrock loses. Meanwhile, Ortiz forces his team to run up several flights of staircases at the hotel. Then the team has to carry their own members across the hallways of the hotel. We see a cut to how much Solomon hates golfing.
– Kendall and Solomon have a friendship. Solomon claims he’s a mole on the inside. They’re nicknamed Team Dagger. The last alliance we saw was Marcus, Jorge, and Anthony last season where all three were eliminated in a row prior to the semi-finals. I doubt this will have any relevance this season.
– Rory claims his Jewish side won’t let Solomon get away with not cleaning his dishes. Is this a Jewish stereotype that no one told me about?
– We see Ed Herman slam down a few shots. The camera cuts to the clock: 2:47pm. Is he really the best fighter? Or is his ego that damaged to be picked sixth and not being in the first two fights?
– SOLOMON: You doin’ that? You spooked? The big bad wolf, which is me, is comin to blow your house down.
Dear Solomon, you do not utter a nickname and have to explain it’s your own. That ruins all nickname cred.
He also had a dream about beating down Agent Smith.
– Fight announcement. Kendall Grove vs. Ross Pointon. Solomon, Ed, and Rory will have to wait for another episode.
– Tito is kicking himself for not picking Ed. Therefore he must mess with him as much as possible. He looked at him as he called out Ross’ name. He intends to pick him last.
– I don’t know if Ross is Jamaican or British. He get subtitled 50% of the time.
– Kendall tells us respect is big in Hawaii as opposed to the other 49 states. Also, his nickname is Spider. Once Anderson Silva comes to the UFC in a couple months I think that nickname will no longer be taken seriously.
– 199 pounds Ross weighed in as of 11:00pm. He has to weigh in at 185 pounds by 3:00pm. Ross weighed in at 191 pounds in the morning.
– Kristian’s head is shaved. The only person who looks good with long hair is me anyway. He realized his Korn look wasn’t the greatest.
– Kendall says he wants to see Tito and Ken fight. Hmmm. I guess there’s not much else to show this episode. Where’s the Right Guard Xtreme Challenge featuring Randy Couture?
– Both weigh in successfully. Now we see hype where Ken talks about rest being an important factor. I’ll take Ross because alliances never work in TUF. Half of Team Dagger will be gone.
– Solomon and Kendall have their second confessional in the same room this episode. You think the others would catch on that two people from opposite teams are called into the confessional room together?
– Ross eats a whole pizza and some Breyer’s ice cream before a fight. I’ve never seen that before. Your body would be completely clogged after you dehydrate yourself for 20 pounds then fill it up with very cheesy and fatty foods? Solomon says he couldn’t fight because he’d be in the bathroom all day.
– ROSS: Kendall’s Hawaiian. I’m British. And I don’t f— about.
Are those things related?
KENDALL (ORTIZ) VS. ROSS (SHAMROCK)
KENDALL GROVE MAUI, HAWAII 7-3
ROSS POINTON NORTH HAMPTON, UK 4-6
I change my mind. Kendall win by submission.
– Mazzagatti our referee.
– Ross throws a couple leg kicks but Kendall counters with punches. Ross has thrown six leg kicks in thirty seconds. Kendall takes him down and pushes Ross against the fence. Ross has half guard. Ross almost stands up but Kendall takes him down. Ross almost has guillotine but Kendall gets out. They’re on their feet. Neither of these fighters seem terribly impressive. Ross punches while Kendall throws a knee. Another takedown. A fair amount of action. They’re in a largely inactive position on the ground. Ross turns to give his back for absolutely no reason at all. I guess he thought Kendall isn’t smart enough to catch him. Kendall demonstrates great flexibility by kneeing the head. Kendall takes Ross down a couple more times. Ross is noticeably gassed. He has his mouth opened for at least a minute. Kendall takes down Ross enough times that Ross turns his back to Kendall and allows Kendall to have a standing choke. It was like a sleeper hold from pro wrestling. Nobody should be able to get a standing rear naked choke without inserting any hooks.
– Kendall quotes Bugs Bunny “That’s all folks!” in his victory confessional.
– Solomon gets a confessional about how it’s really a victory for Team Dagger. The Brits get screwed by those scheming Yanks once again!
– And that’s it. Ortiz lost a middleweight. Shamrock lost a middleweight. It’s the most even start for any weight class in TUF history. We exit with Ross saying he will press on with his sparkling 4-7 MMA career record.
Worst to best fights:
3) Mike Stine vs. Kalib Starnes (Stine was an ugly fighter all around. After fifteen seconds you knew Kalib would win in the first round; it was only a question of how he would do it. Not a bad fight to start the season. In fact, this is the only fight to occur in the opening episode thanks to last season’s double quit opener and season one having its first two eliminations be from a coach’s elimination.)
2) Kendall Grove vs. Ross Pointon (It started off punches vs. leg kicks. Quickly it became grappler vs. striker. Then it became Willpower vs. stamina and Ross loses this aspect by a landslide. A standing rear naked choke without hooks inserted is the most unique submission I have seen in the 1, 100+ MMA matches that I’ve watched.)
1) Noah Inhofer vs. Jesse Forbes (Tito really wanted Noah to underhook that left arm apparently. Jesse has control for the first ninety seconds and it looks like Noah was a bad fighter regardless of the sprained ankle. However, Noah listens to Tito’s advice and uses the sprained ankle to his advantage as he uses his upper body strength to pull off an armbar after doing nothing prior to that. I wonder how much of the success can be attributed to the basketball?)