39 Day Challenge (Day 33 — Funniest Moment)
Julie Bentz, Matt Pike, Phillip Scherer, – Sandra burns Russell’s hat (If only Russell listened to Sandra when she asked him to get in the ocean and wash his hat. :/)
Joey Pannullo, Ryan Weiss, – Big Tom wins a breakfast (He’s not anti-Semetic. Tom is happy to win a free meal at someone else’s religious expense.)
Diego Costa, – Jenna + Heidi – Clothes = Peanut butter and chocolate (Apparently naked people are funny.)
Ori Kohav, – James crowning Erik (There is nothing like handing off an imaginary crown for a title you held for only four months. Is there money involved?)
Jimmy Jt, – Phillip talks about Stealth R Us (The Specialist, The Mentalist, The Three Degrees, and some other role that was assigned to Grant. I would look it up, but I don’t think anyone cares about Grant.)
Anne Curtis, – Kava gets a leg up on Chad (I am sure Anthropologists love watching an American believe he is undergoing a kava-induced stupor.)
Alex Jordan, – Fairplay’s dead grandma (Some guy ranked it as the funniest out of 230 possible moments in the history of Survivor. A lie that is hatched out six months before the game and only works if you have made it to day 30 AND fools everyone to the point the producers call your house to offer their condolences, you know you have a real masterpiece.
Angie MacNeil, – Final 5 Guatemala are a bunch of scumbags (In Judd Sergeant’s case, you do not say ‘screw you’ or ‘good luck’ when you get voted out. Instead, you call everyone ‘scumbags’ and hope they get bit by ‘freakin crocodiles’. Classic AY-DEE-DEE tantrum.)
Rob Beasley, – Todd and Courtney do impressions (Todd offers up the worst James impression I may have ever seen. Courtney can do a pretty good Jaime.)
Brenda Porter, – Tyrone reacting to Dan’s stolen shoes (“I’ll keep one eye on her and one eye on my shoes.” What would make this even better is if Tyrone added in “and one eye on that chicken.”
Jason Bleau, – Phillip catches crabs. (Yep. The Specialist has to catch a special fungus. But seriously, Phillip portraying himself as some American hero when all he is doing is catching crabs is a bit much.)
Eamon Jawatin, – Coach’s Amazon story (He was going for the kayak record by kayaking the Amazon. Unfortunately, he was caught by an undocumented Native tribe. They had him tied to a stake and were looking at his a– because they wanted to eat it. However, when they weren’t looking, Coach bit through the ropes, but was held up by a rapist from Lincoln Park. Thankfully, Jack Bauer came out of the bushes and tackled the rapist into the river. Coach then jumped into a military helicopter that crashed into the water. Fortunately for Coach, he somersaulted just before the helicopter crashed and landed in his missing kayak. He proceeded to finish the record.)
Brian Wildman, – It’s Just a F—ing Stick! (Jason thought it was a god-like idol. Eliza the Skeptic proclaims that it is not an idol, but is really a f—ing stick wrapped in a napkin.)
Ian O’ Brien, – Francesqua (I believe I dissected this moment on six separate occasions throughout this countdown. Phillip, Sioux Hawk, and Russell need to have a Survivor Spelling Bee.)
Diogo Almeida, – Coconut Chop in Exile Island (
COURTNEY: What’s a poser?
JEFF: The answer to what is a poser…is you.
*Cue CIRIE giggle*
COURTNEY: What’s a singing d—-bag?
JEFF: The answer to what is a singing d—-bag…is you.
*Cue CIRIE giggle*)
Brett Watts, – Coach’s “I Have”
(BRENDAN: Of course nobody has watched every episode of Endurance. You can only find the first season online.
COACH: I have.
BRENDAN: Of course nobody has done The Hustle for 37 hours straight without stopping. It’s a gigantic waste of time.
COACH: I have.
BRENDAN: Of course nobody lost their virginity while becoming a member of The Mile High Club. Unless you’re Teresa Cooper!
COACH: I have.
BRENDAN: Of course nobody other than Rick James has grinded their feet in somebody’s couch. Everyone has a little more sense than that.
COACH: I have.)
Francisco Grilo, – Sandra has yet to see me wash a dish or even clean a fish (You have to give props to Beans for insulting Fairplay/the strategic super villain of the season via unintentional Dr. Seuss rhyme. The payback? There is none. Fairplay doesn’t have a comeback for it.)
David Healy, – Bruce’s exit overshadowed by American Idol and Necessary Censorship (Bruce who is on death’s door is carried away as Courtney sings against his last wishes and a very naked Shane shows off his physique as he helps carry Bruce on the stretcher.)
Rosey Sigglekow, – Rob breaks down his new Rotu tribe (Let’s see, I know I’m screwed. I better get the most of it by thrashing all of my contestants before I leave. Hey film crew, come over here. See The General? He has a little sausage. See Zoe? She’s the strongest man out here. See John? He’s a queer. I won’t be sleeping next to him in the shelter tonight. Vecepia? She’s just there. Tammy’s engaged. There’s not too much hope there. Gabe is a brainiac. He’s smarter than he really is. End scene.)
James Wall, – Shane’s cigarette day 15 (Fifteen days without cigarettes makes Shane go something something. Come time for that cigarette and boy oh boy does he regain his composure for a duration long enough to get himself back into the majority alliance.)
Maxime Gauthier-LaFond, – episode 2 Vanuatu reward (A classless finish if you ask me. Or Rory. It was nonsense. Complete nonsense. If a man finished a challenge like that, would Sarge take that? NO!)
Brandon Alexander, – Big Tom’s jury question (I don’t know whether it’s “Does a hyena lick its behind after it eats our food because it is cleaning itself or because of the bad taste” followed by Kim Johnson trying to answer the question seriously or if it’s Big Tom’s fakeout handshake while saying “Don’t be stupid, stupid.”)
Mervin Sanding, – Sugar’s topless finish (Tito Ortiz gives a double flip-off after he wins. Sugar gives a double flip-off after she wins while partially nude. She one-upped you, Tito.)
Andrea Zabala, – Richard’s birthday celebration (Before Sugar flips off the competition while topless, or Jenna and Heidi stripping off for chocolate and peanut butter, Richard started the trend of nudity being comedic gold.)
Clayton Spivey, – Denise sucks at life (Congratulations Courtney, you guaranteed an invitation back for a future season. Slam dunk.)
Sarah Casa, – Lindsey shares too much information (Whenever there is a tick on your butt, dial 1-800-BIG-TAWM and he will fly out to remove it free of charge.)
Logan Saunders, – Keep your mouth shut (My brother and I were watching the episode and we were laughing for five minutes after James said it. I was luckily taping the episode and I ended up rewinding the clip NINE TIMES and I was laughing just as hard each time I heard it. It drove me to the point where I registered under the screen name ‘KeepYourMouthShut’ on Sucks.)
Logan Saunders, – Elrod’s reaction to being voted out a second time (Boston Rob votes out Matt Elrod. Luckily, this season has a twist where Matt could potentially come back but he has to win six duels consecutively over a fourteen day period before he comes back. But what happens? He beats Francesqua. He beats Russell Hantz. He beats Kristina. He beats Krista. He beats Hall-of-Famer nominee Stephanie Valencia. To top it off, he beats Sarita and re-enters the game. Boston Rob is scrambling. Mike Chiesl, the most honest player in the whole game, offers Matt a Final Three deal that would guarantee Matt a win. Yet he decides to go back to Boston Rob who offers him another alliance and promises him safety just like the first time when he backstabbed him. Nothing bad can occur, right? Not until you vote yourself out in a 6-5-1 vote as you walk away knowing you have made the dumbest move in 23 seasons of Survivor. Only Ian or Colby can argue with you about that. I was laughing so hard after such a stupid, stupid move.)