39 Day Survivor Challenge (Day 26 – Best Alliance/Tribe)

39 Day Survivor Challenge (Day 26 — Best Alliance/Tribe)

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8 votes

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Anne Curtis, David Healy, Morgan Glasberg, Ori Kohav, Rosey Sigglekow, Rob Beasley, Clayton Spivey, Ryan Weiss,  – Aitu 4  (Two people betrayed them when things were looking up. Don’t they look so small as the other eight look so big and triumphant? Awe, and they all went to the Final Four together! Let’s just squish their cheeks cause they’re so adorable.)

7 votes

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Chris Gaertner, Bren Porter, Julie Bentz, Francisco Grilo, Mervin Sanding, Alissa Schultink, Aaron Conn – Black Widow Brigade (The first all-female Final Four to overcome god-like minds in Ozzy, Jason, and Erik.)

3 votes

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Alex Jordan, Matt Pike, Ian O’ Brien, – Drake (Fairplay, Rupert, Sandra, and Trish/the one who loves potato chips. Sean being super whiny, Michelle puking, Burton being the only person to be voted out twice in one game until RI makes up for the most memorable tribe ever.)

2 votes

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Angie MacNeil, Joey Pannullo – Casaya (BobDawg, Kratt’s Kreatures, Implants, crappy apartment, Danielson tries to focus on excretion for 12 days, a nicotine addict suffering from withdrawal for 33 days, and some other boring woman makes up for a crazy tribe.)

Eamon Jawatin, Andrea Zabala, – JT and Stephen (The first duo to truly run through the whole game. Even if Stephen secretly wanted Erinn with him in the Final Two. But still, let’s just say they’re a duo.)

Mervin Sanding, – Stephenie and Tom (The clothing store is waiting for StepheME to remove the wolf from the sheep’s clothing and return it pronto. I have a feeling the late fees will add up after 6 ½ years.)

Ben Nehls, James Wall, – Mogo Mogo (Hatch pulls a reverse Jaws incident; Shii Ann is pissed no one wants to make a television on the island; Colby really wants to make projects that will put him with superstars like Matt Le Blanc; Jenna Morasca is happy she gets nearly 50k for spending nine days so she can pay for her mom’s funeral; Kathy realizes working with Boston Rob after being responsible for his elimination in Marquesas may not have been the greatest idea; Lex isn’t the greatest at mixing business with friends.)

Logan Saunders, – Koror. (My favourite tribe ever. I wouldn’t trade anyone away.)

Diogo Almeida, – Fei Long (When Survivor looks to Street Fighter II: New Challengers for inspiration.)

Phillip Scherer, – Jalapao (For the last time Psycho Sandy, the tribe name is not jalapeno. J.T. lost a tooth, Joe lost a leg, Taj lost a bug-free arm, Sydney lost a personality, Carolina lost her finger in her  nose, Spencer lost his potential for an all-star spot, and Stephen lost a patch in the back of his pants. A good time was had by all.)

Elliot McMurchy, – Ulong (Jolanda ate a grasshopper and quoted Nutty Professor; Kim gained five pounds from lifting her arm up and down when she drank coconut juice; Jeff cemented his legacy as a god-like competitor; Ashlee appeared on the ‘Community Chest’ space on a Monopoly board; Bobby Jon killed a man with his bare hands; StepheME managed to get an entire camera crew to herself by day 22; James decided he wanted to make a living by doing palm readings and using tarot cards; Angie followed Erin Collins’ path of being picked last means you don’t get voted out first but rather be voted out in the most forgettable episode of the season. Did I forget anyone?)

Gaby Rivera, – Rob and Amber (That’s the guy from Around the World in 80 Ways. Oh my god, that show is sooooooo good!)

Maxime Gauthier-LaFond, – Yul/Becky (Survivor is fun when you have an idol that works as a 39-day shield.)

Brandon Alexander, – Russ and Parv (They both claim to be king or queen of Survivor, but yet neither of them hold two titles. Well, that wasn’t a funny line I put in brackets. Guess I wasted one.)

Karl Marquez, – Crystal & Kenny (The biggest/massive female outdoor athlete teams up with the biggest indoor/parents’ basement athlete. If only Sugar wasn’t in possession of an idol nor decided to throw her own game away just to see some old geezer win. Kenny for John Fincher’s claim of an All-Strategists Season!)

Bobby Harvey, – Foa Foa 4some (Mick is feckless; Jaison gets voted out because a reward on day 34 gave him a case of the runs; Russell planted Russell seeds in his tribe mates while they were asleep and away from the cameras; Natalie. . . . . . . . . .Oh mah werd, I don’t have anything interesting to say about her.)

Clay Halford, – Samburu (Linda is at the bottom of the Hoover Dam; Frank would rather spend 39 days with the Wagner family; Silas directed the tribe from BEHIND the shadows; Lindsay and Wu Tang Clan are two entities that you don’t want to f— with; Kim Powers can’t be referred to as Kim because Kim Johnson, and Kim Mullens have both managed to trump Kim Powers in terms of being memorable. Ouch. Carl is a doctor with a nice car; Brandon used to play Wheel of Fortune with me on Facebook.)

Nelson Escobar, – Neleh and Paschal (This relationship seems inappropriate upon review considering Paschal’s current state of AFFAIRS.)

Sarah Casa, – Kucha (Debb is ready to RAWK for 42 days; Kimmi doesn’t have tan lines, she has dirt lines; Alicia was the inspiration for Phoenix Wright’s finger pointing; Michael Skupin is rumoured to be on Survivor 24, 25, 26, 27, and 28; Jeff Varner has made jokes about Mike killing a pig for eleven years; Nick Brown is too busy avoiding e-mails and phone calls from Mario Lanze requesting an interview; Rodger is angry with people protesting his friends on Wall Street; Elisabeth turned into the devil. My how things have changed.)

Daniel Knowles, – Morgan tribe (Nicole committed the grave error of entrusting a Scout Master with her secrets; Skinny Ryan gave us the false impression of him being the next Cesternino; The Scout Master was sent back into the game to cry on camera for the remaining eighteen days; Osten holds the record for drowning in less water than an infant; Savage is in disbelief that the nickname Little Jon never caught on for Jon Dalton; Tijuana is somehow annoying Nicole either via text, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, phone, e-mail, or by plainly existing; Darrah can’t believe she was voted out and eliminated but thinks she was a winner too; Ryno is not happy with some of the images that come up when you enter his name into Google. Or maybe he is.)

.5 votes

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Jason Bleau (.5), – Heroes (Sugar cried but we’re not allowed to make fun of that anymore thanks to Dr. Drew; StepheME is viewed as being robbed despite being voted out fair and square; Cirie officially hates idols; Tom wished he would have stuck to his word and maintained his perfect record; James is fast approaching Boo’s record for most injuries on Survivor; J.T. decided to make a fool of himself so Stephen’s odds of being cast in a future all-star would increase; Amanda was cast in a re-make of the Thriller video; Candice plays the same way twice and finds herself in eighth once again without anyone knowing who she is; Rupert may or may not have eaten a baby Samoan when the cameras weren’t on him; Colby bought a DVD of Treasure Island at the Ponderosa gift shop.)

Jason Bleau (.5), – Villains (Randy still hates us all; Tyson is so awesome he arranged a blindside of himself; Boston Rob was free to leave knowing he’d have a fourth shot at the game; Coach was free to leave knowing he’d have a third shot at the game; Courtney left because saying she would be loyal and never ally unlike her sneaky, untrustworthy, previous winner in Beans just wasn’t a good enough sell; Danielle trotted her way out of the game in frustration at Russell’s actions; Jerri used three seasons of Survivor as her well-crafted master plan to be a chef on television; Russell proclaims he wins the lottery by skill, not chance; Parvati thinks she’s a Queen for lasting the longest of anyone despite being in a format where a sixth place finish gets you to day 36 as opposed to day 30 or 33; Sandra laughs at you all.)

Brett Watts (.5), – Hae Da Fung (Funny. They never did re-name the tribe after James was voted out.)

Brett Watts, (.5), – Matt and Rob Amazon (“He killed his master after he taught him everything he knew.” – Emperor Palpatine.)

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