Mock Survivor Ranking: South Pacific

3. South Pacific (season 23) Rating: 8.75/10


Wow. I had very low expectations going into South Pacific, but it turned out to be the bomb. Let’s get into this, shall we?


Things I didn’t enjoy about this season:


1) Redemption Island…again?! What the heck? Production must’ve not been listening to real Survivor fans and instead made themselves more delusional than Coach himself and Stephenie’s fans.


2) Coach and Ozzy…again?!


3) A format that will result in a Final Three…again?!


4) Low budget challenges. . .again?!


5) Coach and Ozzy getting a huge chunk of airtime during their episodes.


6) Jeff Probst just won’t shut up. He even casts a vote himself at every Tribal.


7) It’s in Samoa. Oh joy. As if I didn’t have enough of Samoa already.


8) No reward challenges.


9) Coach and Ozzy were the only ones spoken to at the reunion show as well as Flavour, Peter, Joe Son, Bud Selig, Joe Buck, Pyro, Ness, Boston Rob, and somebody’s granddaughter who was recruited and lied about her age to get on the show. She had a guardian sign her waivers for her.


10) A disappointing female winner at the end.


11) Ozzy won fan favourite.


Things I enjoyed about this season:


1) Ozzy gets blindsided with an idol he found 20, 000 leagues under the sea in the season premiere. HOLY CRAP DIDN’T EXPECT THAT!


2) Coach is voted out in episode two.


3) Seven men are voted out pre-merge.


4) Coach wins the last duel pre-merge to re-enter into the game. When he is about to be inserted back into the game, Coach announces that he doesn’t feel anybody who’s already been voted out once should be allowed to compete again. He gives a compelling speech where production experiences an epiphany. Upon the conclusion of his speech, Coach claims his iron sharpened the integrity of Survivor, and felt his work on Earth is done. Him and Matthew Von Ertfelda link hands and teleport to another planet.


5) The nine women band together into an alliance against the last two men.


6) One man is med evac’d, and the other manufactures his exit in the same round.


7) Production realizes they’re in for a boring finish, so they change it to a Final 2 on day 27.


8) Somebody uses an idol to blindside someone else or they are blindsided with an idol for five consecutive Tribals in a row. SPECTACULAR!


9) Pyro falling off the balance beam onto the ground. When big guys fall, they fall hard! Bahahahahahahah.


10) Carrie Prejean’s jury question. Oh my. Firewooooorks.


11) The age limit for the women is dropped between 18 and 22 after its success in Redemption Island.


12) Joe Son having a problem with his junk. Classic! Where’s Keith Hackney when you need him.


13) Joe Buck and Jeff Probst have a friendly rivalry over who does the commentary in the first few episodes. You don’t mess with J.P., Joe!


14) America casts a vote for the winner.


15) Phillip guest hosts a challenge and is a permanent visitor at the tribe’s camp after all of the men are gone. He’s up to more crazy things, but not in that crazy way.


16) Phillip saving a baby gorilla that was transported from Gabon to Samoa by production was a really heartfelt and touching scene. Phillip’s soft side and developing as a character was nice to see.


17) Rob conducted the interviews used for confessionals post-merge, then translated these confessionals into something that will intrigue the viewers and a dialect that is clearer for people from Boston to understand.


18) Jeff Probst informs us that two of the women achieved an incredible feat by being half as dominant as the first female player allowed to play Survivor, Parvati.


19) Jeff Probst didn’t write blogs about who will be at the end and who deserved it.


20) The post-merge phase of the Redemption Island twist was cut due to unforeseen budget cuts.


21) Russell was brought into the camp on day 30. The next day, the survivors received tree mail that one of them was given the role of saboteur and would receive their missions to achieve for an additional 2.5 million dollars via laptop. The next day, feces was discovered in tree mail and everyone discovered a newly hidden immunity idol had been stolen.


22) Entertaining finale.


23) Hands Hard On Idol is brought back!!!!!!!!!!!


24) Did I mention it was a great reunion show?


25) Episode 3 where Ozzy is finally eliminated from Survivor when Coach beats him in a duel. Such sad emotions.


26) The nine swimming challenges that took up post-merge were neat to see. Haven’t had water challenges in forever.


27) Good cast.

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